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  • 60 Cute Names To Save Your Boyfriend’s Contact In Your Phone

    Your heart should melt a little every time your boyfriend’s name pops on the screen. If this isn’t the case for you, you’re doing something wrong in your relationship. The good thing is that we know just how to fix this problem.

    60 Cute Names To Save Your Boyfriend’s Contact In Your Phone

    Here are 60 cute names for your boyfriend on your mobile phone.

    1. Big head

    It doesn’t matter if his head is small.

    2. Baby

    He might be 20 years older, but he’ll always be your baby.

    3. Sweety pie

    Before you roll your eyes, is he a pie or not?

    4. Akanni

    If he’s a traditional Yoruba man.

    5. Mine

    Think about it —who else dares lay claim to him?

    6. Zaddy

    If he’s a sugar daddy that plows your farmland efficiently.

    7. Beau

    A little French vibe is sexy AF.

    8. My Everything

    Because without him, you cannot exist.

    9. Idunnu mi

    It means “My happiness” in Yoruba.

    10. Cash cow

    If he’s your personal money minting machine

    11. Personal mumu

    If he worships the ground you tread.

    12. Chief Daddy

    If he’s a sugar daddy.

    13. Odogwu

    If he’s a businessman that rains cash on you unprovoked.

    14. Ayanfe mi

    Another one for the Yoruba demons. It means “My chosen one”.

    15. Dearly Beloved

    If y’all love story is nothing short of a Shakespearean affair.

    The biggest women-only festival in Lagos is BACK.
    Get your tickets here for a day of fun, networking and partayyyyy

    16. Lover boy

    If he’s head over heels in love.

    17. Wizzy Baby

    If you’re a Wizkid fan, your boo is your personal Wizzy Baby

    18. Tony Montana

    If he’s a fashion killer.

    19. Saro

    Because you’re his Arolake. 

    20. My Angel

    If you’ve accepted him as your personal saviour.

    21. My Lord

    If he’s heavy on respect.

    22. Naughty boy

    If he’s a freaky little thing.

    23. Romeo

    If he used pick up lines from Titanic during your talking stage.

    24. Sugar

    For a man who is 100% committed to giving you a soft life.

    25. Sugar plum

    For the plus-size bros.

    26. Love of My Life (LOML)

    Use this only when you’re sure he’s your final destination.

    27. Darling

    Straightforward but genuinely from the heart.

    28. Sunshine

    If he brightens up your world.

    29. African Prince

    It’s only right because you’re his African princess.

    30. Giggles

    This is for a man who cracks you up.

    31. Papi

    A little Mexican vibe to spice things up.

    32. Pablo Richie

    If he’s a successful yahoo boy. You’ll be his Olori Pablo.

    33. My Rock

    This name is for a lover who is 100% reliable.

    34. Amante

    It means “Lover” in Spanish.

    35. My Choco Milo

    If he’s a brown skin hottie.

    36. Obi’M

    It means “My heart” in Igbo.

    37. Tiger

    This is for a man who knows how to give you multiple orgasms.

    38. Sexy Beast

    If you’re aware that he’s every woman’s dream.

    39. Bad Boy

    This is for a man who knows how to press all your right buttons.

    40. Chiquito

    If he’s short, dark and handsome.

    41. Munchkin

    It’s the cutest name for him if y’all enjoy love bites.

    42. Babyface

    For a lover who looks nothing like his age.

    43. Soul Mate

    Save his number with this name if he has proposed.

    44. My Amour

    It is Spanish for “My love”.

    45. Boo

    This one is oldie but goldie.

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    46. My One and Only

    After him, there’s only him.

    47. Adumadan mi

    It means “My black and shine” in Yoruba.

    48. Mutumina

    This is the one if you’ve bagged yourself a prince from the north.

    49. My prince

    Because you’re his princess.

    50. Partner in crime

    If Bonnie & Clyde have nothing on y’all.

    51. My guy

    Very straight to the point.

    52. Bros

    Fight anyone who tells you this isn’t cute.

    53. Sugar Cane

    This is for a man invested in bringing sweetness into your life.

    54. Dickson

    If you cherish his “gbola” more than the relationship itself.

    55. Ken

    As a reminder that you’re his Barbie.

    56. Dodo Mayana

    If you’re out there doing love thangz with an Egbon Adugbo.

    57. Ekwu Eme

    Another cute name in Igbo if your man is “Talk and do”.

    58. Best

    Normally, the LOYL should be your best human in the world.

    59. London Boy

    If he’s an IJGB that chose to die on your matter.

    60. Joystick

    If you’re only with him for the genital slamming.

    Enjoyed this piece about the cute names for boyfriend on your phone? You’ll like this: 20 Cute Nicknames You Can Start Calling Your Vagina Today

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

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  • 12 Prayers For Your Boyfriend to Have Money

    A saying says behind a successful man is a supportive lover. If you’re thinking of a creative way to support your boyfriend aside from spoiling him with money, love and care, it’s prayers.

    Today, Zikoko is your guardian angel and we’ve prepared these direct-to-God prayer points to say for boyfriend to have money. Say some prayers today.

    Small work, the whole CBN

    CBN is the Central Bank of Nigeria. This prayer point asks for a stupendously paying job with little work and stress.

    The big tree of your success will not die

    Your man is successful because you, his big tree, stay behind him. It’s indirectly a prayer for yourself, except you’re someone else is his big tree.

    Divine Financial Planner, secure my man’s savings

    If you know the only thing preventing your boyfriend from becoming rich and setting up your baecation is reckless spending, say this prayer for him o.

    Every tax season will be your celebration 

    There’ll be so much money the tax corporation will throw a party in your honour every time they audit you.

    Dear Currency Composer, compose my man’s bank account in high-key notes

    Trust me, sweet, if your money notes are soprano enough, you’ll make Maria Callas and Beyoncé look like amateurs.

    The heavenly hedge fund manager will diversify your investments

    If this prayer gets answered, trust me, Tony Elumelu and Jay-Z will seek you for advice.

    Your fellow men will see you and lose home training

    Too much money makes fellow men hail you every minute and take every letter you speak as gospel. It speaks of importance. Say amen to the prayer.

    Rich women shall always locate you

    If you and your man are broke, at least pray that rich women find him and spend on his head. Just make sure you collect your cuts.

    Dollar shall fall on you

    Although Davido said this in his song Fall in 2018, now is the best time to pray for this fervently. Dollar is very high, and the law of gravity must prevail. Your prayer will direct dollars to your man’s head. 

    May your income flow like my dress on our wedding day

    Yes, this killing two birds with one stone — a good money prayer and a signal that your relationship will lead to marriage. Any serious man that wants plenty money will do the needful asap.

    Sapa man shall avoid me

    Though it may roll out of the mouth like a shot, don’t take it to heart; it’ll make your boyfriend grind harder and make money to care for both of you. He knows better than to disappoint you.

    Your account balance will scream “Nollywood plot”

    Unexpected and fabulous is what this prayer means. No one sees the money coming, but people will admire or envy the wealth when it arrives. The type of money that will make you play Kizz Daniel’s Buga at thanksgiving.

    Tomide Marv

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  • The Case for Boyfriend Allowance

    He’s your chauffeur

    You’ve been a “passenger princess” for so long. Show him some love by sending fuel money every month.

    He’s probably scum

    You know he’s probably scum and might not stay in one place. That’s why you should use your money to tie him down.

    You can wriggle your way out of birthday gifts

    You don’t have to worry about getting him a birthday present. Since you’re already giving him money, he’ll feel too guilty to say anything about it.

    Nigeria is hard

    The country is going through times, and your boyfriend isn’t left out. Send him money every month to show him that even though Nigeria doesn’t care about him, you do.

    You can collect it back in multiple folds

    Think of it like an investment. You give him ₦‎50k, but then he tries to one-up you and gives you ₦‎100k. Rinse and repeat, and your ROI will be insane. MMM could never give you this.

    It’ll make him more romantic

    There’s no romance without finance, and that’s why you need to finance your boyfriend’s life so you can enjoy romance with him.

    To buy video games

    Most men want video games, and your man is probably like most men. Put him on an allowance ,so he can buy the latest games and stay happy. The best part? Iit’ll keep him inside and off the streets.

    Haircuts are expensive

    You don’t want your boyfriend’s hairline looking like it’s travelling back in time. That’s why you should pay him to get a haircut from the best barbers, so he can stay fine just for you and his side chics.

    NEXT READ: 6 Nigerian Men Talk About Paying Their Girlfriends Allowances

    Sheriff Alimi

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  • These 15 “Good” Lies Will Surely Get You Money From Your Stingy Boyfriend

    It’s not like we’re trying to lead you astray, but if you’ve already decided to lie, you might as well tell a really good one. Just promise to share the money when you get it because these formats will definitely work every time.

    Tell him it’s a loan

    The first step is to make it seem like you intend to pay back, even though you and I both know that’s not in the plan.

    And that you’d pay back with interest

    Just don’t clarify what type of interest you mean. If he ever brings it up when it’s time to pay back, you can say the interest you offered was a hug or a pat on the head. Interest is interest.

    Say there’s something wrong with your credit alerts

    And you just want to know what it feels like for money to hit your account. You can throw in small sweet words and head rubs for pizzazz.

    Tell him the last person who gave you money got blessed

    If he doesn’t feel encouraged to try it out, he lacks faith in you, and why are you dating such an opp?

    Say your [distant] family member swallowed a razor

    Crazier things have happened. At least we were here when he heard that snake swallowed millions. Just tell him someone swallowed a razor, and now everyone needs to contribute to foot the medical bills.

    Tell him you crave money in your account

    This will probably only work if you’re pregnant sha. We’ll recommend getting pregnant first so this format works better for you.

    Claim to be broke

    This might even be an obvious lie, because Nigerian babes are rich. But you could try.

    Blame Nigerian banks

    Nigerian banks already have a reputation of doing everything else except their work, so this won’t be too far off. Just say something in the lines of, your bank locked your account, and boo will do the needful.

    Tell him you want to buy him a gift

    He’d be too impressed at the fact that you’re actually thinking of him to ask why you aren’t using your own money. 

    Tell him you want to buy yourself a gift

    And if he says no, it just means he doesn’t think you’re worthy of good things. Is that who you should be dating, sis?

    Say you want to start a business 

    TBH, using all the money to look good is good business, so this isn’t even a lie.

    Tell him you’ve found a sugar daddy 

    If he likes you, he’ll know he needs to step up so they don’t snatch you away from him. If he doesn’t like you, though…

    Say you’re owing Palmpay

    He wouldn’t want you to be disgraced, so he’ll cough up the money.

    Tell him you need money for school or anything specific 

    You already call him “daddy”, so he might as well start acting like your father.

    Just call him and start crying 

    At this point, you can be as creative as possible. Form sadness and tell him you don’t think he’d still love you if you were a worm. He’d probably try to appease you, and that’s when you ask for the money.

    NEXT READ: Dating on a ₦350k Creative Freelancer Income

    Don’t leave without getting your ticket to HERtitude 2023!

    Tife Oni

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  • Pros and Cons of Dating Somebody’s Boyfriend

    There are times when you see things that other people have that you like and want. Sometimes, what you want is somebody else’s boyfriend. Here are the pros and cons of doing that first. 

    Pro: You can enjoy his money with no feelings attached 

    You can finish his money without feeling guilty. You’re not his partner, so you don’t have to worry about his future or the future of your relationship. If he can’t afford to pay rent, it doesn’t affect you because you’re not the one that’ll end up with him. Spend that man’s money with your full chest. 

    Con: They will beat you 

    See ehn, if by any chance you’re caught, they will beat you shege and disgrace you. You may end up in the ICU. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. 

     

    Pro: You get to fornicate with other people without guilt 

    He’s not your boyfriend, so no commitment. That means you can fornicate with as many people as you want without feeling guilty. If he begins to complain, tell him he should go and meet his babe and not stress you. 

    Con: You can’t complain if they cheat 

    As you’re doing your own, just know that he can do his own too. Because he’s cheating with you doesn’t mean that you’re the only one. And you’re in no position to get jealous or upset because he’s not your man. 

    Pro: You get a boyfriend 

    You may get some of the perks of having a boyfriend, such as dates, cute messages, gifts, etc. At the same time, you don’t have to do the duties that a partner would, such as family visits, being friends with his friends or worrying too much about fighting. 

    Con: You have to hide 

    You may have to travel to FESTAC to find a decent place to spend time together, where the original person that owns the man, won’t catch you. If you go anywhere public, friends of his partner or the actual partner may see you. And kasala might burst. 

     ALSO READ: The Nigerian Lover’s Guide to Cheating Respectfully

    ALSO READ: What’s the Difference Between Main Boyfriend Penis and Side Guy

    Pro: You don’t have to do too much 

    His actual partner has everything covered. In terms of gifts, intentional communication, quality time, etc. You don’t have to make too much of an effort; somebody is already doing all the hard work. Just show up, collect what you want to collect, and go. 

    Con: You’ll be hidden

    He probably saves your name as MTN. SMH no manners.

    Pro: He’ll give you a dick to ride on 

    When he’s upset about something that happened with his partner, he’ll come to you for comfort. Added to that comfort,  is fornication. After all, I’m-upset-and-I-need-someone-to-talk-to knacks is the second-best type of sex after we-shouldn’t-be-doing-this sex. 

    Con: You’re always a shoulder to cry on

    On the flip side, every time he and his partner fight, he’ll come and cry and whine to you, and that’s not what you signed up for. You’re not there to help him sort out his relationship issues. 

    ALSO READ: 6 Unmissable Signs You’re The Side Guy

    Dammy Eneli

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  • Why Women Need to Stop Stealing Their Men’s Clothes

    A lot of women think stealing their men’s clothes is the ultimate show of love. Although they aren’t entirely wrong, the idea is still debatable. There are other ways to let your man know you love him that won’t involve robbing him of his clothes. 

    Think of this article before you stretch out your hand to unhang that hoodie you’ll never return.

    1. You don’t want his enemies thinking you’re him

    Imagine your man has enemies and you’re outside in sweatpants that belong to him and his enemies now attack you thinking it was him? Don’t ask why my imagination seems to be going crazy, I only have your best interest in mind. Not stealing men’s clothes is for your own safety because you never know who’s after them. 

    2. You don’t want anyone thinking you’re a side chick

    Hmm, you don’t want someone stopping you in the supermarket to ask why your shirt has the same stain her husband’s shirt has. You’ll be there in front of a stranger having a staring contest. 

    3. You REALLY don’t want anyone thinking you’re a side chick

    “Oh, this looks like a shirt I bought my boyfriend for valentine’s day.” The spinning Mr Krab gif is what’s going to happen in your head because your man already told you his coworker gifted him the shirt when they did secret Santa in his office.

    RELATED: Nigerian Men Need Freedom From These Fashion Trends in 2022

    4. He’s going to retaliate by stealing your skincare products

    Men don’t retaliate in bits, they must always go the extra mile. I don’t know how stealing a simple shirt means they have to steal your skincare products. Do they know how much skincare is? 

    5. You’re going to leave him naked 

    Only a few men are really stylish. If you steal all his cool clothes, you’re only condemning him to nakedness and I know that’s not what you want for your man. If he has ten super cool shirts, steal eight and share the remaining two with him. After all, you’re such a thoughtful person. 

    6. You can inherit his behaviour by wearing his clothes 

    You’ll suddenly feel the urge to lie, gaslight people and cheat the way he does. His DNA is trapped in his sweat and the sweat is trapped in his hoodie, now your sweat has mixed with his and you’re now one with him. Anything can go wrong.

    ALSO READ: Nigerian Men Lie, but Only for These 7 Reasons

    Ibukun

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  • I Lost My Boyfriend And It Was All My Fault

    As Told To Itohan

    After the HER newsletter went out on Saturday, I got an email back from a woman who wanted to talk to me. She said she lost someone precious to her, and it was all her fault. So, I got her number and we had this conversation on WhatsApp.

    Names are changed for the purpose of anonymity

    How we met

    It took me three years to get admission into the university. During that time, I was attending a tutorial in Ibadan, and that is how I met Paul, a friend of my friend. My friend introduced us and we got really close. After talking for a while, I discovered I like him. The feelings were mutual, so we started dating on my birthday, November 7th. I had just clocked 18, he was 17, and I wasn’t looking for a relationship then, but I just knew I couldn’t let Paul go away.

    The thing is; I have suffered emotional abuse and have been depressed for a while now. I have been molested twice, and I couldn’t even tell my own mother because she was always so harsh towards me. It got so bad that I even had to leave home to stay with my aunt. I had attempted suicide twice, and I have a lot of insecurities. Paul was there for me anytime I needed someone to talk to. He loved me and I always wondered why. He knows all my flaws, but I still could not understand why he loves me so much.

    The first mistake

    It was the best relationship I ever had. He was understanding, helped with my depression and academics. We never had serious fights, just a few misunderstandings over little things. Everything was going good for a year until I met some guy on Facebook, John. John and I started talking, and the chats progressed to the point where he asked me to send him nudes. I sent some with my face hidden because I was so sure I would never see him in real life. He lived in Lagos, I lived in Ibadan, and I didn’t plan on sleeping with him. Unfortunately for me, he attended the same secondary school as Paul. One day, John posted my picture on his WhatsApp status, and Paul saw it. Paul asked how he knew me, and John told him everything. Paul forgave me, but I knew he was hurt.

    Don’t miss out on hot tea. Subscribe to the best newsletter for Nigerian women.

    The second mistake

    In 2019, I finally got admission into University, but I somehow got scammed of my acceptance fee. I couldn’t tell my parents or Paul because I felt so stupid. Instead, lied to him that my parents couldn’t pay the acceptance fee, I couldn’t tell him the truth. Covid-19 came, so schools couldn’t resume and the deadline for payment was up. I was planning on running away cause of shame, so I wanted to break up with Paul. I was stressed. One day I went to see a friend, and I ended up drinking with him. We almost had sex, but I was on my period so it didn’t happen. I initially didn’t tell Paul about it, but I eventually told him about how I went drinking and how I almost cheated. He was disappointed but forgave me.

    The third mistake

    The money for the initial acceptance fee was something I eventually raised, but because I was paying late, the price had increased. I was so desperate, and because my parents were having financial issues, I was ready to sleep with anyone for money for my school fees. Then, I met this guy who promised to take care of me, and I slept with him thinking he’ll help. I keep texting and sexting him so he would feel interested, but hasn’t said anything. This led to me breaking up with Paul. I told him it was because I needed time to be alone, but it was really because I couldn’t tell him I cheated on him.

    The end

    Paul and I eventually got back together, but it was because he did not know I cheated. He found out after reading my chats, so he left. I tried explaining to him how I only did it because I was desperate, but he thought I chose the man over him.

    I feel bad and selfish about what I did. He deserved better than me, and I wish he listened when I told him before we started dating. This is just the kind of person I am. When I think of the fact that the person I slept with didn’t even give me any money, I feel I lost both ways.

    I will probably sink deeper into depression because I finally lost the only person that ever cared. Paul is a good person that didn’t deserve any of the things I put him through. If I say I love him, it’ll surely look like a lie because you don’t hurt those you love, but I love him. I should just have done better.

    For more articles about women doing women things, please click here

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    Itohan Esekheigbe

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  • 13 Signs Your Nigerian Boyfriend Is Cheating On You

    Do you want to know if that Nigerian man you decided to foolishly date is cheating on you? Well, we’ve compiled 13 surefire ways to find out. If he does any of these suspiciously romantic things, he has multiple side hoes lined up.

    1. When you go through his phone and find nothing incriminating.

    He has obviously cleared all the evidence. He is cheating.

    2. When he takes you on a date to a fancy new restaurant.

    His side piece must have told him about the place. He is cheating.

    3. When he uses you as his profile picture across all platforms.

    family whatsapp group

    He is overcompensating for something. He is cheating.

    4. When he randomly tells you he loves you.

    He is trying to confuse you with affection. He is cheating.

    5. When you make rice for him and he leaves a few grains on the plate.

    His other hoe has been feeding him. He is cheating.

    6. When he introduces you to his friends as the “love of his life”.

    That’s code for “mugu”. He is cheating.

    7. When he sends you a ‘Good morning’ text before you even wake up.

    His side piece must have woken him up with rounds. He is cheating.

    8. When he apologizes after drama that you caused.

    WHO THE HELL IS TEACHING HIM PATIENCE? He is cheating.

    9. When he makes you cum 5 seconds quicker than usual.

    He’s been practicing on his other hoes. He is cheating.

    10. When it’s been a month since you both argued.

    He’s clearly been arguing with someone else. He is cheating.

    11. When he surprises you with a gift out of the blue.

    He’s secretly apologising for his infidelity. He is cheating.

    12. When he plans a romantic getaway for both of you.

    He is tired of only cheating in your city.. He wants to broaden his horizons.

    13. When he finally proposes to you.

    He heard that married men are more desirable. He wants to cheat for life.

    NerdEfiko

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  • The Zikoko Guide To Finding The Love Of Your Life During NYSC Camp

    If you survived undergraduate without the love of your life, chances are everyone is expecting you to end NYSC camp with love. It’s one of the things they will tell you in camp anyway. Attend briefings, SAED lectures, even social nights, and you’ll hear, “You need to find a wife or a husband in camp. This is one of the reasons why this scheme was created.”

    So, my dear single person who is reading this, here is how to snag the love of your life in NYSC camp.

    NYSC CAMP LOVE

    Know your spec

    This is important because NYSC camp is full of different types of people from different tertiary institutions and once you know your spec, it makes it easier to narrow your search.

    Now that you know your spec, cast your net deep into the waters.

    When you line up for parade, look at your platoon people and see if you find your spec. If not, journey to other platoons. See what they have to offer. You might be in Platoon 1 and discover your true love in Platoon 7. Don’t be discouraged, it is what it is.

    If you find someone who fits your spec, engage them in a conversation

    Know how educated they are. Because being in NYSC camp does not mean everybody is educated. And going to school is different from being educated, shebi you know? See if they can carry on a good conversation. Relate with them and know what they think about Buhari and Trump, what they understand about Feminism, if they pour their cereal before the milk or milk before the cereal. You never know who is a cultist in NYSC kit. Don’t forget to stylishly ask if they are single. There’s no shame.

    Shoot your shot

    I shouldn’t tell you how to do that, should I? Come clean and state your intentions. Bear in mind that it can either end in tears or aso ebi. Also, be reminded that you cannot have sex in NYSC camp. Yes, some people do it. They enter the bush, hang around in the smelly toilets, do it on a heap of sand in the dark. This shouldn’t be you, right? Why stress yourself doing rush-rush runs when you can finish camp and devour yourself properly? I’m not teaching you how to fornicate, but —

    NYSC CAMP LOVE

    Other things that can happen.

    By other things, I mean Glucose Guardians and Military Men. There’s an abundance of those in camp. The camp officials, the men (and women) in charge of kitchen and food distribution, the soldiers who preside over the parade. Some of them will disturb you when you catch their eye. And some of them will offer to influence your redeployment or posting. Ngwa, think it well before you do it. (Wo)Men are scum, but then you already know this.

    Hang around Mammy Market, attend social night and actually socialise. When you line up to get food, don’t ‘strong’ your face. There’s someone who is taking note of you. Why not allow the bone of your bone to find you?

    And lest I forget, that white-white kit everyone wears can deceive. Let people change into their Friday and Sunday outfits first and you’ll see hotness. Ah, you’ll be amazed at the wonders in the human body.

    But if you do all of this and nothing happens, well, maybe you’re not destined to find the love of your life in NYSC camp. Try your luck elsewhere. Life’s hard.

    NYSC CAMP LOVE

    Kunle Ologunro

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  • In Nigeria being a single woman is very hard.

    Sometimes even harder than you might imagine.

    One minute you are a baby girl living your life, the next minute everyone is asking you ‘when will you marry?’

    When did this happen?

    In fact once you hit a certain age everyone from your gateman to your boss at work is advising you to go to Shiloh

    But what is your business?

    It doesn’t matter who you are and what you’ve achieved. The only important question is ‘why are you single?’

    “Oh you just won a Nobel Prize? Husband nko?”

    Before you know it all of your friends start to get married even the ones you thought were single pringles like you

    What a betrayed

    It doesn’t help that their married status seems to come with infinite wisdom and they take it upon themselves to cure the disease that is your singleness. 

    You better face your marriage

    Nowhere is safe. You go to church to worship your Lord God and Saviour, and some church aunty will ambush you about attending singles fellowship

    Did I say I was single and searching?

    When you even try to date the men act like they are doing you a favour. “You don’t know you are old abi, I’m just trying to epp your life”

    You are 40 and living with your parents epp your own life first.

    What of living alone as a single woman?

    You are living alone? And you are single? You must be an asewo

    Before you know it everyone is trying to hook you up, including your Aunty Yejide who has had 7 husbands

    Please don’t disturb me

    You’ve not even found bae but everyone keeps asking you “children nko”?

    Will they fall from heaven?

    And it’s not even like you had a problem being single you were perfectly fine but now you can help but wonder…

    Maybe I should go to the Shiloh

    At the end of the day it’s your life don’t let anyone disturb your peace of mind

    Enjoy your life

    So the next time someone should ask you when are you getting into a relationship, tell them…

    Please don’t let anybody stress your life.

    Meanwhile what’s your spec?

    Toketemu Ohwovoriole

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  • You guys remember the touching video of this scum-in-man’s-clothing who admitted he cheated on his girlfriend

    We even gave you the full gist here.

    This scum-like creature wasn’t even counting how many times he cheated!

    https://twitter.com/dianelomeli/status/832133351418912770

    1. Now, Twitter people have memefied it. They’ve used it to drag Buhari

    https://twitter.com/fayZuus/status/832743436503568390

    2. When Nigerian politicians finish the National Cake

    3. When Nigerian harmattan will not stay in one place

    4. All stubborn children, unite!

    5. When Nigerian mums want to be a nuisance

    https://twitter.com/TheDejiBalogun/status/832291520959102979

    6. People with anxiety can relate

    https://twitter.com/_shaniahx/status/833457845144260613

    7. They even came for Drake!

    8. Smokers are liable to ….

    https://twitter.com/CoonActivity/status/833063309339398146

    9. For Food Only

    https://twitter.com/whoareyouthox/status/832630300236673024

    10. Honestly, this is me

    https://twitter.com/rihajamil/status/832515120882278400

    11. Who else can relate so bad to this?

    12. If you read WhatsApp messages and don’t reply, you’re scum

    https://twitter.com/KingTooColdd/status/833358885801099267

    Shola

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  • Someone Confronted Her Cheating Ex Boyfriend And ‘Men Are Scum’ Twitter Is Going Wild

    As we all know, some people can cheat for Africa.

    And even if their significant other gives them the world, they’ll still chook their wandering eyes outside to cheat.

    Then they’ll come back to tell you, “It’s in my DNA, I can’t help it”.

    Even if you catch them in the act, they’ll be like, “Baby, she’s my cousin’s nephew’s relation and we’re practicing acrobatic yoga”.

    This African American chic, Kourtney confronted her cheating ex, Leonard- who is basically the biggest demon we’ve ever seen- to ask why he cheated on her.

    And he kuku didn’t give any solid reason- just every unfaithful person.

    Kourtney, when Leonard said he cheated uncountable times.

    This was his face, all through the time she shed so much tears.

    Just watch the video and catch the full amebo abeg.

    Meanwhile, some chief officers of ‘Men are scum’ Twitter are already protesting this injustice.

    The Vice-President of the movement believes men can’t make heaven.

    Someone is even angry Kourtney didn’t get to beat him up.

    Relationship advice is just flying all over the place.

    We just thought to bring you this wonderful amebo jare. Are men just scum or do you think otherwise? Share your thoughts in the comments section.

    Maryam

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  • If Your Boyfriend Is A Mumu You Can Relate

    1. When you say “I love you” and your boyfriend says “I love you” without adding “more”.

    2. When you and your boyfriend go out and he’s busy greeting different babes of different shapes and sizes.

    3. When your boyfriend asks you what you want to eat and you say “nothing” and he buys food for only himself.

    4. When you ask if you look fat in a dress and he says “hmm somehow yes”.

    5. When he gets angry that you pick food off his plate.

    6. When your boyfriend falls asleep on the phone just because you fell asleep first.

    7. When you use style to point out the shoes you would like for christmas but he still buys you books.

    8. When his mother insults your cooking and he comes to tell you.

    9. When you guys are roasting each other but then some of his insults start getting a bit too personal.

    10. When he compares you to one of his ex girlfriends.

    11. When your boyfriend gets angry because you got married to someone else without telling him.

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 9 Times Your Boyfriend Was The Worst Person On The Planet

    1. When you ask him about the girl on his Instagram and he says ‘she’s no one important’

    You don’t mean it.

    2. When he knows you’re angry but he still expects you to talk

    So you can’t read my mind abi?

    3. When he’s watching a match and completely forgets your existence

    Is that how life is?

    4. When you’re being serious and he’s just finding it funny

    Uncle, what is funny?

    5. When he says he’s not hungry and still begs for your food when it’s ready

    Since he now wants me to starve!

    6. When you’re going on a date and he invites his best friend

    But did I send you any message?

    7. When he calls you in the midnight just to ‘hear your voice’

    Please and thank you!

    8. You, when you hang out with a male friend and your bae is forming jealous

    It’s not that serious now!

    9. When he says he wants to meet his ex for a chat, you’re like:

    Over my dead body!

    Shola

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  • 1. If he sends you pizza and shawarma at work

    Even roasted corn and eba, all join!

    2. If he doesn’t flinch when you fart

    We heard some of you have broken up because of this!

    3. If he really listens and responds to all your senseless rantings

    He will even join you to be senseless!

    4. If he knows how to cook jollof

    Husband material, one million yards!

    5. If he takes you to mama on a regular

    P.S If she prays that you’ll find your husband, just carry your slippers nd run!

    6. And does he like your face with or without makeup?

    He loves the messy you sef!

    7. And does he genuinely care and support your career goals?

    He’s just here for your happiness.

    8. If he is truly the one guy who doesn’t lie

    We’re all so done with guys who lie.

    9. He also doesn’t see any qualms in buying you sanitary towels and other girl stuff

    No biggie!

    10. And if he’s not stingy at all!

    He wants to spend his last kobo on you.

    11. Plus he also tries to treat others nicely

    The best!

    Shola

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  • How Many Boyfriends Do You Need

    So you just finished watching a nice romantic movie.

    You’v blown your nose and wiped your eyes.

    And now you are wondering how many boyfriends you need to be truly happy.

    You need one that will stop your church aunties from asking you about marriage.

    One that is your cafeteria – bringing breakfast, lunch and dinner.

    One that is your financial helpmate and proxy ATM machine.

    You need another one that is a semi professional fighter, that is ready to fight everyone on your behalf.

    You need the one that is a professional lover boy. Always speaking sweet words and composing poems.

    Then you need the one that is everything at the same time so you can have peace of mind.

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 1. You can break up via text.

    Chai!

    2. You can use the gateman to do it.

    “Madam said I should not open the gate for you again.”

    3. You can use bae’s mum to do it.

    “My dear I need to tell you something.”

    4. You can use your own mum to do it.

    “Young lady don’t call my son again he said he is no longer doing.”

    5. Block them on social media.

    Everything oh! Facebook, twitter, Instagram.

    6. Use their best friend to do your dirty work.

    “Umm your boyfriend wants me to tell you something”

    7. Just start parading your new boyfriend/girlfriend while you are dating a new one.

    Love is love!

    Jola Ayeye

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  • How Many Girlfriends Do You Need

    So you and your guys are talking about love and relationships.

    Forming like you people know everything!

    Everybody’s head is swelling and they are talking one million talks.

    Then you start trying to figure out how many girlfriends it will take to make you satisfied.

    You need one to stop your mother from disturbing you about marriage.

    Another one you have in the office to make life more bearable.

    Another one that brings food in cooler for you at the beginning of the week.

    One that is a prayer warrior.

    One to teach you bad bad things “in the other room”.

    The one that has a masters degree in frustration and manufacturing conflict.

    The one that is an assistant mummy.

    One that helps you augment your finances. As per assistant ATM.

    The one that will nab you reading this post and give you query later since you are now insane.

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 1. Create ‘Our relationship’ WhatsApp group, then leave it.

    2. Start acting like a crazy person and turn everything into a fight.

    Scatter the place! He will leave by himself!

    3. Update your Facebook relationship status to ‘Single’.

    He will get the message loud and clear!

    4. Tell him you’re ready to get married and watch him turn to Usain Bolt.

    Especially if you know he’s a fuckboy who wants to marry when he’s 40!

    5. Tell him you’re joining the feminist movement and you’re going to stop all the cooking.

    They never wanna hear that!

    6. Sharpen your ghost mode skills.

    Just disappear. No explanations, nothing.

    7. Don’t stress yourself: just text them ‘it’s over’, and unlook.

    Save yourself all the cry cry, abeg.

    8. Tell your friends to do it for you.

    Because 3 or 4 more mouths are better than 1!

    P.S If you’ve ever done any of this donate your heart to someone who needs it. ASAP!

    Shola

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  • That Time I Disgraced Myself At The Gym

    So a few months after my boyfriend broke up with me, I bumped into him at a restaurant!

    Oh no!

    He was with one hot babe, looking happy and satisfied!

    Can you imagine?

    Meanwhile I had been crying day and night.

    As if somebody died!

    Eating every and anything edible.

    Kai!

    And generally behaving like the world had come to an end.

    What is this world without love?

    After seeing him looking so happy and satisfied I decided to change.

    If he can move on, so can I!

    So the first thing I decided to do was join a gym.

    And become the hottest babe in Nigeria!

    When I got there I saw so many men looking delicious.

    Hunks everywhere!

    I decided I must impress them by force, by fire.

    Yes oh!

    So first I spent some time stretching.

    Before muscle pull would come and finish me on one machine.

    Right after that, I got on a treadmill.

    To run from my problems.

    After a leisurely 3 minute stroll, I decided to increase the speed and incline.

    Because I’m the baddest babe.

    After 2 minutes and 11 second, I was like:

    Hayyy I have entered one chance.

    After 2 minutes and 53 seconds I was like:

    Somebody please help me.

    By the time I got to 3 minutes and 5 seconds I knew I had to stop:

    It’s all over oh!

    People of God that is how I fell on the treadmill oh!

    See shame oh!

    All of a sudden I was surrounded by a few of the gym hunks, who had rushed over to see if I was okay.

    Hmm could this be my silver lining?

    One of them said “you should really take it easy if you haven’t done this before”.

    Uncle is that what we are talking about now?

    I even heard a few laughing.

    Will this shame never end?

    When I finally stood up, I saw my ex staring right at me!

    HAYYYYYYYY!What is this one doing here?

    Before I could collapse from shame all over again I hobbled out of that place.

    Na wa oh!

    I have never gone back to that gym.

    So that they can point and laugh at me abi?

    And I blame it on that my useless ex boyfriend.

    Wretched guy!

    Jola Ayeye

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  • All The Wahala Of Your Mother Not Liking Your Boyfriend

    1. When she meets him for the first time and you ask her what she thinks of him, she’s like:

    “He’s okay sha but to me he is somehow.”

    2. Whenever he comes to the house and greets her, she’s like:

    Ahn ahn!I thought you said you would be nice mummy!

    3. When she is still trying to “introduce” you to a son of her friend.

    I said I have a boyfriend ma!

    4. When you say you love him, she’s like:

    “You love WHOOOO?”

    5. How you have to beg him every time he comes to visit and your mum descends on him:

    “Honey she was just joking!”

    6. When you tell her you are going out with him and then she suddenly has “urgent errands” for you to help her run.

    What is all this one now?

    7. When she starts subbing your relationship during morning devotion.

    Is that what we are here for?

    8. When you have problems at work and she find a way to connect it to your relationship.

    Is that what we are talking about now?

    9. When you have problems in your relationship, she’s like:

    “My God is working!”

    10. When you ask her why she is so convinced you must break up with your boyfriend.

    So how come God did not tell me?

    11. Whenever he sees her in public, he’s like:

    Before she will use style to abuse him in front of other people.

    12. When he breaks up with you because your mothers wahala is too much, she’s like:

    “I told you that boy was a useless boy.”

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 13 Rihanna Pictures That Perfectly Describe The Nigerian Dating Cycle

    1. When that fine boy you’ve been eyeing finally calls you “big head”.

    PROGRESS!

    2. When your boyfriend doesn’t know he is your boyfriend yet.

    Don’t worry you will soon know

    3. When you whatsapp your man “I love you” and he leaves your message on ‘read’.

    Chineke!

    4. When your boyfriend is complaining that you bought him singlet for Valentine’s day but all his singlets kuku have holes.

    See your life.

    5. When your boyfriend of 4 months hasn’t already proposed to you.

    Am I a joke to you?

    6. You, waiting for your boyfriend to finish lying so you can bring out proof.

    Keep talking oh!

    7. When your boyfriend said he’d call you after the match and the match ended 3 minutes ago.

    It’s like I’m now single.

    8. When you spot potential husband material but your boyfriend is still gumming body.

    Can I see road biko?

    9. When you decide to finally leave your yeye boyfriend for greener ‘sugar daddy’ pastures.

    It’s not by fine boy, abeg. BYE!

    10. When you can’t gist your best friend about your new bobo because it’s her father.

    The struggle.

    11. When your sugar daddy told you he was busy at work then you see him enter the bar with his wife.

    WOW! So it is like that?

    12. When it’s already been 1 year and your sugar daddy has still not left his wife like he promised.

    Is it fair?

    13. When you now find out your sugar daddy is cheating on you and his wife.

    Wow. So better bae is not by age.

    Daniel Orubo

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  • How My Nigerian Parents Met My Boyfriend

    So l had been seeing my boyfriend for almost a year.

    Sweet and juicy love!

    And so he said it was a good time for him to meet my parents.

    Ehn?

    And because I have crazy Nigerian parents, we planned and plotted for almost 2 weeks so nothing would go wrong.

    Its not easy like that oh!

    I even prayed and fasted just in case.

    One week dry fasting so even heaven knows that I’m serious.

    The great day arrived and I was so nervous and stressed.

    What am I doing for goodness sake?

    Unfortunately (or fortunately), after all my planning my parents were stuck in traffic.

    So I have to do another prayer again?

    So after waiting for 3 hours, my boyfriend and I gave up on waiting.

    Abeg we cannot come and die oh!

    I escorted him to the car and kissed him goodbye (a bit too passionately but that is young sweet love).

    Sweetest love!

    Lo and behold, I turned around and saw my parents standing in front of the gate, looking at the both of us.

    HAYYYY!

    My mother was like:

    Shame on you!

    My father was like:

    “This girl has spoilt oh!”

    My boyfriend was like:

    He could not even talk. Mumu!

    I was like:

    Why always me oh? Why always me?

    That’s how I started stammering and trying to introduce this man that was licking my mouth and holding my waist.

    “P-P-Please allow me explain”

    Before I could even explain properly my mother was like:

    Ah! Yes ma! Sorry ma!

    My father was like:

    Ewo!

    My father even chased him away.

    It was so embarrassing!

    It took me a while to explain and explain that they “caught us at a bad time” and he’s a really great person.

    Please you people come and see my life outside oh.

    And they even finally agreed to meet him properly.

    Ayyyyy finally!

    BUT they still refer to him as “that one that was biting your mouth outside our gate abi?”

    Can you imagine?

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 16 Things You’ll Recognize If You’re Currently Dating A Nigerian Man

    1. Him, if you try to make the first move:

    BYE!

    2. What he actually means when he finally asks you out.

    Get ready.

    3. Essential reading when the relationship starts:

    Have to be prepared.

    4. When he already knows the drill.

    Just get to the point, aunty.

    5. When you’re waiting for him to come and romantically open the car door for you.

    Be waiting.

    6. How he looks at you try to eat out of his food when your own is in front of you.

    Why, though?

    7. His face, when you buy him singlet and boxers for the third Valentine’s day in a row.

    I’m not crying.

    8. When his friends suddenly start calling you “Iyawo wa”.

    Be careful, the cheating has probably begun.

    9. Whenever you accuse him of being unfaithful.

    The master.

    10. When you catch him but he still has a “logical explanation”.

    11. When you offer to pay on a date and you’re waiting for him to stop you.

    You played yourself.

    12. His face, whenever you ask to see his phone.

    Oh God!

    13. How he looks at you when you ask him to help carry your handbag.

    See this one.

    14. His face, when you’re telling him about your day:

    He is on autopilot at this point.

    15. When you bring up marriage on your 5th year anniversary.

    Take it easy, aunty.

    16. You, when he is sick vs. Him, when you’re sick:

    Carry your germs and be going.

    Daniel Orubo

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  • John Boyega Is Boyfriend Goals And Here’s Why
    John  Boyega is absolutely bae, no arguments about that! After slaying his role as Ugwu in Chimamanda’s Half Of A Yellow Sun and Finn in the latest Star Wars movie, we couldn’t be more in love with him.

    And guess what? He shared this tweet about visiting Nigeria soon.

    And this was our reaction….

    Because John is boyfriend goals abeg.

    He understands the importance of eating Jollof with plantain.

    And he knows how to fry plantain.

    Who doesn’t like a boyfriend that loves God and goes to church please?

    He’s even prayerful and respectful.

    He works out (and is buff!)

    And he knows why we’re angry about Lah-gos in Captain America.

    And he recognises the greatness of pounded yam.

    He even named his cat “OluwaLogan”.

    https://twitter.com/JohnBoyega/status/726372867101872129

    His dance moves are fire.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BAfPVTLMCjM/

    Awww he even knows how to pose.

    On top of all this, he’s really proud of his Nigerian heritage.

    John please come quickly and visit us, we promise to receive you with open arms.

    Baest of baes. @johnboyega please follow @zikokomag, read and enjoy yourself. We’re waiting!

    — Zikoko (@zikokomag) May 13, 2016

    Maryam

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  • 15 Signs Your Nigerian Boyfriend Is Not A Serious Somebody

    1. When you try to chook hand in his food and he starts acting drama.

    Monday morning

    On top small chicken?

    2. When you tell him you’re broke and instead of you to be seeing credit alert he is saying “me too”.

    Is that what I asked you?

    3. When you’re having an argument and instead of letting you win, he starts throwing facts your way.

    So he’d rather be a lawyer than be your boyfriend, abi?

    4. When you tell him you like his watch and he doesn’t immediately dash you.

    He is not serious.

    5. When he comes before you.

    He will now go and sleep.

    6. When you tell him that you don’t want anything for Valentine’s day and he actually doesn’t buy you anything.

    He is an olodo.

    7. When something is bothering you and he can’t read your mind to know what’s wrong.

    Love should give him superpowers.

    8. When you tell him “I’m fine” and he actually stops asking what’s wrong.

    He has already failed.

    9. When you start forming vex and start leaving and he really lets you leave.

    It can pain sha.

    10. When you send him a message and 3 seconds later he has still not replied.

    He better be dead.

    11. When he doesn’t get you a gift for Independence day, Easter, Sallah, Children’s day, and his own birthday.

    What is now his use?

    12. When it’s been one hour and he hasn’t checked up on you.

    What is his excuse?

    13. When you’re ready for marriage and he is complaining that it’s just been 2 months.

    Is that not enough?

    14. When you’re meant to be the only woman in his life but he is still in contact with his mother and sisters.

    He is not ready.

    15. When you want make your hair and he wants to pay his school fees instead.

    Is that how to love?

    Daniel Orubo

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  • 17 Things You’ll Understand If The Person You’re Dating Is Not The Love Of Your Life

    1. When their very existence becomes a problem.

    You can die now, please.

    2. When they think they can just text anyhow.

    https://twitter.com/Monrowe/status/666722663142981633
    How dare you?!

    3. When you’re confused about which Twitter League to go for.

    Hay God!

    4. When they won’t even let you cheat in peace.

    Who is this one?

    5. Or sext in peace!!!

    You cannot just leave me alone.

    6. When you have to leave them to be with the love of your life.

    Sucks to be you.

    7. When they won’t stop trying to be monitoring spirits.

    https://twitter.com/CrazyNerdyCool/status/662506136818589700
    Oshey. Monitoring spirit.

    8. They always call at the wrongest times.

    Let me catch you first.

    9. The worst times.

    *facepalm*

    10. Like, why will you facetime me anyhow?

    https://twitter.com/nneomalichanwa/status/610612354745810945
    Oh god!!!!

    11. And sometimes they just show up…because they think they can.

    What are you looking for?

    12. When they call and you’re planning the future with the love of your life.

    Satan!

    13. When the love of your life is working out…but the person you’re dating is okay getting fat.

    https://twitter.com/talkmarcus/status/578939413826301952
    Oniranu!

    14. They won’t even make efforts.

    https://twitter.com/KaiCotterel/status/659456194491392001
    Just look at!

    15. When the love of your life RTs your girlfriend.

    Get to know yourselves, please.

    16. When the love of your life gets in a relationship.

    *dies inside*

    17. When the love of your life breaks up with you and you can’t even be sad.

    https://twitter.com/youloveesdee/status/640936966696083456
    Can I cry, please? So did we miss any?

    Odunayo

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