1) N.Y.S.C posting:

After paying to get Lagos, you see that you got posted to Zamfara or Nassarawa. This is the single greatest commander of the super B.O.J.

Will Davido come to any camp that is not Lagos camp? You kid.

2) J.A.M.B:

After putting in to study Medicine and then seeing the admission list for you to study Newspaper science.

3) After reading last week’s Sex Life article:

I hear you can’t read this Zikoko article without screaming.

Spoiler: One person slept with the bride, groom, bride’s brother. Click here to see for yourself.

4) Turbulence in the air:

If you have ever been on a plane with Nigerians during turbulence you understand what I am talking about.

5) When you see all the questions you said wouldn’t come out in the exam hall:

Number 1-5, I can’t answer any. God.

6) When you get back from work and your cat says “good evening”:

Your mates that meow, do they have two heads?

7)When you talk back to your parents:

“Blood of Jesus! so you want to beat me?” – African parent, 1960.

8) When your dog barks instead of greeting you “good evening”:

9) If you live in Lagos:

You need to cover yourself with protection because this city is trying to kill you. From traffic congestion on the road to Okada ban to pointing elected officers, you need to be covered. And what better to cover yourself with?