Birthdays | Zikoko!

Birthdays are pretty straightforward for most of us — they come around once a year. But what is it like for leap-year babies born on February 29 whose “birthdays” come around once every four years?

In this story, Opeyemi (28), a leap-year baby, shares how she realised she was different, the external curiosity that comes with being born on a leap year, and why she has two birth dates.

As told to Boluwatife

Image: Opeyemi

I was in JSS 1 when my parents threw me my first-ever birthday party.

The year was 2008, and it was the first time I actually realised my birthday wasn’t like everyone else’s. It was such a huge event that even my mum’s friends came. Later on, I asked my mum why that birthday was different. She said, “Because there’s a February 29 this year.”

I was born on February 29, 1996. In leap year numbers, I’m technically “six” years old now, but don’t you dare tell me I’m six.

I really disliked the age thing growing up. My friends and younger cousins never passed up an opportunity to remind me I was “just two years old.” I remember one time, during an argument with some cousins, I went the “I’m not your age mate” route, and they quickly did the calculation for me in leap years. It was an argument-ending comeback. It was beyond annoying.

But it never made sense to me. My development doesn’t happen once every four years, but most people will never let go of the age thing. I always get questions like: How do you calculate your age? How do you celebrate your birthday? How old are you really… like ideally? — What does “ideally” mean?

Well, I calculate my age every year like a normal person, but I celebrate it on February 28 so I technically still have a birthday every year.

It also means I have two official birthdays. I randomly used both February 28 and 29 interchangeably on forms and online applications for a while because the latter was easier and straight to the point. But when I had BVN issues because of that— the officer had put 29 because my birth certificate said so, but then some of my other documents had a different date — I had to swear a declaration of age in a court affidavit to have February 28 as my official birth date. So, I have a birth certificate and affidavit with different birth dates.

There are perks to being a leap-year baby, though. My parents started this tradition of throwing me big parties every leap year, and I took it to adulthood. As a kid, I always got extra attention and gifts on leap years, and now, I get to celebrate my birthday twice on leap years, too.

The first time I had a leap year birthday in the university was quite funny. It was in 2016, and everyone wished me a happy birthday on the 28th. The following day, some of my friends who knew I was born on the 29th began to wish me a happy birthday, too.

Everyone in the hostel was surprised, and the news about me being born on a leap year spread like wildfire. People kept coming to ask me how it felt to be born on a leap year. I wanted to ask, “How does it feel to be born on your own birthday?”

I get why people find it so interesting, though. I’ve only ever met three other leap-year babies. I met the first one in secondary school. He preferred to associate with March 1 as his birthday rather than claim February. The other two are my twin cousins, but they’re far younger, so we never celebrated our birthdays together.

My leap year birthdays are definitely different. I guess knowing that it only comes every few years makes it extra special. And even though I’m not one to throw parties like my parents, I like to go all out with friends when possible. This year, I plan to take pictures and visit orphanages. It’s like a full-circle birthday for me, too. I was born on a Thursday, and my birthday this year falls on a Thursday.

With all the pros and cons, I love being a leap-year baby. It’s a unique part of me that’s solely mine. I think my mum loves the fact that I’m a leap-year baby even more than me.

She’s always excited to tell everyone who cares to listen all about it. When she found out about the affidavit, she was furious. It took a whole lot of explaining for her to accept I wasn’t changing my birthday; I just wanted to make my life easier.

But if I had the opportunity to choose, I’d still choose February 29. I’ll never have a golden birthday — the one where you get to celebrate turning 29 on the 29th — but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I already know what day my next leap year birthday will fall on, and the one after that. It’s always something to look forward to.

NEXT READ: “It’s Shameful to Just Be Collecting” – 7 Nigerians Talk About the Struggle to Gift Their Abroad Friends

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Hating the day your parents brought you into this world?

There’s nothing more real than that.

We get your hatred, and we see you, because nobody really sent your parents message. But we also know that at some point, you might get tired of feeling that way, so here’s how to force yourself to love the day of your birth just a tiny little bit.

Spread the news of your birth

We’re not saying put it on a billboard or shout it from the rooftops, but tell everyone who matters. Not everyone remembers dates, so it won’t hurt to tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend that the anniversary of the day you originally graced the world with your greatness is fast approaching.

Or don’t spread the news of your birth

It’s also very okay if you just want to be alone for your birthday, read a book and sip on some wine. You get to ease into your birthday and enjoy every moment of it instead of fielding calls and texts from everyone you know and their acquaintances.

Think of all the freebies

In this Agbado economy where Burger peanuts are now ₦520, every freebie counts. Think of all the free food, drinks, gifts and money you’ll get on your birthday if you simply bask in it all.

You don’t have to socialise right away

Just block the calls and texts and social messages out. It’s your birthday, and the only person who should matter on that day is yourself. Ignore everything and everyone and focus on what makes you happy.

Don’t overthink it

Birth what? The birds are chirping, the sun is shining and Tinsel is still showing on African Magic. So what if you get a couple “Happy birthday” calls and messages? It’s just a regular ass day with a little bit more love.

Overthink it

On the other hand, it’s the day you made your grand entrance into the world. Granted, it happened without your permission, but you took it like a champ, so let people celebrate you like the idan you are.

Do something for you

It’s your day, and you should celebrate yourself how you see fit, even if that means burying yourself under a heavy ass blanket in the comfort of your bed.

At the end of the day, the only way to shake off the birthday blues is by doing what works for you, whatever it may be.

That includes letting us show you how to make sure you never receive a bad birthday gift that might ruin your day again.

READ: 10 Ways to Make Sure You Never Receive a Bad Birthday Gift
If we had the power, we would be able to make our birthdays go exactly as we have planned (or not planned) for them to go. But the truth is that days like this are usually never in our full control. Your birthday cake might be delivered on the night of your birthday, your friends might have plans and bail on the plans they pushed you into making, amongst other disasters. So on that note, we asked nine Nigerians to share their worst birthday experiences. Read their stories below.

Yasmine, 22

I had plans for my 21st birthday all laid out, then this guy I was dating insisted on being a part of my day.

It took me a while to let him in, but I thought hey, sharing your special moments with someone else can’t be so bad.

Then about a week before the day, he just ghosted me. No explanations, nothing.

I was such a mess, I didn’t get my hair done, or anything else I’d planned.

To make things worse, the stress from the week made my period late, and guess when it showed up? On my birthday! Imagine your uterus and your heart both trying to kill you. As if it couldn’t get any worse, my performance at work hadn’t been the best given the circumstances. And my boss really called me on my birthday to berate my work. Which was pretty unfair because I’d done a year of great work, I make a few mistakes and instead of asking what was wrong, I got a lecture. I sha stayed in bed and ate cake as a fuck you to my cramps. The moral of the story is, don’t let any man near your special days, especially the Yoruba ones.

Benya, 26

When I was turning 13yrs old, my parents wanted a party but I wanted something small because I was being bullied, fat-shamed, at school and in the neighborhood. At the party, only two people showed up and the Psquare Roll It video came out so when they came around I played it. I did the sexy finger in mouth look and said: I Like It. School resumed and practically everyone was doing that and making fun of me.

Amaka, 24

My worst birthday experience is about to happen. I have a long week ahead and my birthday falls in between so I decided to invite my friends out for lunch.

I invited 13 people and only 3 people are actually going to show.

Plus one of my friends decided to invite my nemesis from high school after which I had to revoke both their Invitations.

I wish I never even planned anything and it has taught me an important lesson about who my friends really are.

Temi, 24

My birthday last year came up when the lockdown was easing a bit. l had a close friend of mine who lives within my area and I planned to cook and just do something small indoors with her since it was a weekend and we couldn’t go anywhere. But luckily another friend of mine traveled down but when my close friend who stays close by showed up later in the day, she didn’t spend so much time with me and ended up inviting my other friend to her house. To top it off, a lot of people on my contact list claimed they didn’t know it was my birthday, just one or two people called, even the anticipating boyfriend called late in the night, same as my family members. I spent the rest of the day lonely and crying and made up my mind never to expect too much from anybody and I really do not anticipate my birthday anymore.

Adaora, 24

When I was 20, I invited my friends, baked a cake, and cooked a feast. Then one of them called to tell me on the day that she won’t be able to show up. The others did not show up and did not bother to call and let me know before I cooked. It still pains me when I think about it because I cooked. I don’t even like cooking but for this party, I cooked a lot of food. I ended up drinking a bottle of wine and mopping in my room the rest of the day.

Then I cried myself to sleep. I am 24 now, I have better friends and I had a nice birthday this year.

I.J, 20

On my worst birthday experience, I was trapped at home, alone without any plans, and unable to speak to anyone because of some natural disasters that happened that day. Eventually that evening, phones started working again and I finally heard from a close, close friend of mine. We spoke for a little bit, they told me they were going to call me back and I never heard their voice ever again. They didn’t die or anything, they just iced me out. It felt extremely weird, being ghosted on a day that was already so lonely but supposed to be special. It also made me realize a birthday is just a day. It isn’t necessarily a day to be happy, despite what we’d like to think. If you’re happy every day of the year but your birthday, that’s okay too. That’s life. At least I didn’t write exams. Thank God, because I didn’t study and that was what saved the day.

Chii, 28

On my 25th birthday, no one remembered. As in, absolutely no one. Not family, not friends, and not my then-boyfriend. Not one single call or message, except generic texts from my banks. I lived alone, so there was no one to even notice me that day. I felt incredibly alone on such a significant birthday. It was worsened by the fact that I was going through some stressors: toxic workplace, burnout, quarter-life crisis, etc. I wept so hard that day; it really did break my heart in some way. Everyone apologised afterward; they all had some plausible excuse for why they forgot. But after that, I celebrate my birthday in my own way primarily, no matter what else anyone’s got planned.

Prism, 21

I didn’t want to do anything on my 19th birthday, but my friends forced me to have a birthday party and so I agreed. I got cake and food and alcohol, and I was clear that it was only for close friends. Only for a friend of mine to show up with 5 or 6 boys and 5 girls. I tried to explain to her that I didn’t want those people in my house because I didn’t know who they were. She got upset and started shouting and called me names and said: “my party was the worst party on earth”. Then she left. That made me feel extremely terrible and ruined the entire day for me.

Zainab, 19

So every year on my birthday, I usually go see a movie. It’s a tradition I started in 2015. In 2019, the year I turned 18, and I was excited. I didn’t want to do anything crazy. Just watch a movie with my friends. My mother, however, had other plans She had promised three cousins to take them out that same day. On my birthday!. So my three younger cousins, my aunt, and my mum said we’d go see the movie together. Then my mother suddenly decided she had to run some errands. By the time she was done, it was about 6 pm. We had to come back home from the cinema. On the way back, we bought pizza (which I paid for with my money).

My girlfriend travelled all the way to come to see me, and I couldn’t even spend my birthday with her because of some stupid thing my mother did. I was so upset. I don’t think I’ve fully forgiven her. I spent my 18th birthday eating pizza and crying.

QUIZ: How Old Do You Actually Act?

Are you a 50-year-old stuck in the body of a 20-year-old? This quiz answers that.
If you aren’t a fan of celebrating your birthday, then you’ve most likely done a couple of these:

1) Turned off your phone on your birthday.

Leave me alone.

2) You’ve explained that it’s just your birthday you don’t like celebrating.

“It’s me, not you.” I like your own birthday, I just don’t like mine.

3) You’ve begged friends not to throw a surprise party or shenanigans.

Please, guys.

4) On your birthday, you’ve probably thought about getting one year closer to death.

Alexa, play Born To Die by Lana Del Rey.

5) Over and over again, you’ve explained it’s just like any other day.

Guys, why the fuss?

6) You’ve never posted on social media that it’s your birthday.

Because who will perform all that fake happiness for people? Let’s be guided.

7) Additionally, you’ve also never done photoshoot.

Over your dead body.

8) Or birthday countdown.

It’s one day, not a month abeg.
“Birthdays come once in a year. It’s my only special day in the year. I have to remember it for life, it has to be as perfect as my wedding day.”

“I have to feel like a king or queen. Or even both.”
If you can’t relate to the sentences above, this is for you.

Because everyone needs love.
It’s 2 days to your birthday and you’re thinking of the perfect way to leave this planet for that day.

“Dear John, the time has come again, and it is time for me to disappear.”
You finally have it all set in your mind. It’s a simple plan.

You just won’t wake up. That’s it.
Your birthday finally arrives and the first person to wake you up is your mother. Ha mummy! You didn’t have to.

*2 hours later* “amen, amen, thank you mummy, amen, amen, okay thank you, amen, goodbye mummy, amen, I appreciate it, ame…”
After that motivating prayer session, your uncles, aunties, cousins, friends, siblings, enemies start calling your phone.

What’s the wise thing to do? Just put your phone off and pretend you didn’t see any calls.
You have a whole panic attack on your way to work, hoping to God that no one remembers it’s your birthday. But as soon as you step into the office..

“Where’s the cake!! How are we celebrating o! Happy birthday to..” oh Lord, why me? why me?
You finally get a chance to stop fake smiling. Grab your phone, and check your instagram and of course that one friend has gone to write a long epistle about your life.

“I’ve known you since I was in my mother’s womb”
There’s nothing you can do about it so you have to reply and publicly confirm that it’s actually your birthday

“Thank you friend, thank you for this. No seriously, thank you so much. Thank you. I can’t thank you enough, in fact I’m crying”
And the moment you reply, and everybody knows it’s your birthday, your notifications look like this

“Thanks,” “Thank you,” “Haha, thank you.” “Amen, thanks thanks.”
You prayed to God that no one would even consider surprising you with anything. Because you completely have no excitement in your blood.

Imagine the trauma of having to fake excitement. God forbid.
Thankfully there’s almost no surprises but your friends still expect that you’d take them out. You just don’t understand the logic.

I’m taking people out and spending my own money to celebrate myself for getting older.
And everyone is waiting for cake. Why can’t they just buy themselves a big cake and eat?

Who said cakes were made for celebrations alone? Akara is a cake.
If you mistakenly say you don’t feel like doing anything for your birthday, everyone becomes worried about you. Like you have a disease.

“Are you okay? Is everything okay? But your birthday will be boring now…” my birthday, not yours.
All you really want is to be given some time to think about how you’re going to be a year older.

And you don’t yet have 30 billion in your account.
In fact, your ideal birthday would be to just stay at home and watch TV, eat and sleep. All by yourself.

According to your dictionary, that is exactly how to have an unforgettable birthday.
And you know that by the time the day is over, this madness will have ended.

Back to regular programming. Thank you.
Also, is this the most iconic birthday song ever made?

Spread the news of your birth

Or don’t spread the news of your birth

Think of all the freebies

You don’t have to socialise right away

Don’t overthink it

Overthink it

Do something for you

READ: 10 Ways to Make Sure You Never Receive a Bad Birthday Gift

Yasmine, 22

Benya, 26

Amaka, 24

Temi, 24

Adaora, 24

I.J, 20

Chii, 28

Prism, 21

Zainab, 19

QUIZ: How Old Do You Actually Act?

1) Turned off your phone on your birthday.

2) You’ve explained that it’s just your birthday you don’t like celebrating.

3) You’ve begged friends not to throw a surprise party or shenanigans.

4) On your birthday, you’ve probably thought about getting one year closer to death.

5) Over and over again, you’ve explained it’s just like any other day.

6) You’ve never posted on social media that it’s your birthday.

7) Additionally, you’ve also never done photoshoot.

8) Or birthday countdown.

“Birthdays come once in a year. It’s my only special day in the year. I have to remember it for life, it has to be as perfect as my wedding day.”

If you can’t relate to the sentences above, this is for you.

It’s 2 days to your birthday and you’re thinking of the perfect way to leave this planet for that day.

You finally have it all set in your mind. It’s a simple plan.

Your birthday finally arrives and the first person to wake you up is your mother. Ha mummy! You didn’t have to.

After that motivating prayer session, your uncles, aunties, cousins, friends, siblings, enemies start calling your phone.

You have a whole panic attack on your way to work, hoping to God that no one remembers it’s your birthday. But as soon as you step into the office..

You finally get a chance to stop fake smiling. Grab your phone, and check your instagram and of course that one friend has gone to write a long epistle about your life.

There’s nothing you can do about it so you have to reply and publicly confirm that it’s actually your birthday

And the moment you reply, and everybody knows it’s your birthday, your notifications look like this

You prayed to God that no one would even consider surprising you with anything. Because you completely have no excitement in your blood.

Thankfully there’s almost no surprises but your friends still expect that you’d take them out. You just don’t understand the logic.

And everyone is waiting for cake. Why can’t they just buy themselves a big cake and eat?

If you mistakenly say you don’t feel like doing anything for your birthday, everyone becomes worried about you. Like you have a disease.

All you really want is to be given some time to think about how you’re going to be a year older.

In fact, your ideal birthday would be to just stay at home and watch TV, eat and sleep. All by yourself.

And you know that by the time the day is over, this madness will have ended.

Also, is this the most iconic birthday song ever made?