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Month has ended, meaning salary or allowance for you by the special grace of God. But even at that, have you seen how many days are in May? Thirty-one. So the real question is how long will your account balance last till the next credit alert?
1. So your new year resolution was to save plenty money in 2017 so you can turn up in December.
2. And that means you have to open a new bank account that you can’t touch anyhow.
3. Then you get to the bank and the machine at the door keeps sending you back.
4. Now you have to start saying ‘Amatyourback’ because the queue at the bank looks like this:
5. Next thing, the teller asks you to bring N500,000, one fat red goat, and the blood of a 7-year-old crocodile to open a savings account.
6. So you have to borrow a pen to fill the request forms about all your family members.
7. After all the wahala, the banker says you have to wait for two weeks before your account gets activated.
8. On top of it, they kuku remove N500 service charge from the account you just opened.
9. That’s not all o, you still have to wait for one whole month to get your ATM card:
10. When you finally realise you don’t have to go through all that wahala on Alat.ng.
11. You, when you get that 10% interest on your Alat.ng savings at the end of the year!
Really and truly! All you need to open a bank account on Alat.ng – Nigeria’s first digital bank- is a smart-phone and internet! No wuru-wuru service charges and queuing wahala. Head to Alat.ng to learn more!
A working bank account is one important part of a Nigerian’s life.
And to be honest, the heavier the bank account, the more legit the licence to “glo up”. Here are 10 things every Nigerian can relate to when the money days go south:
1. On pay day.
New balance, who this?
2. Your bank account when you decide to splurge on that PS4 console you’ve been eyeing.
I got you, bro!
3. Then the long monthly shopping list pops up.
Na wa oh! Someone can’t pretend to be rich sef.
4. When you actually start buying the things on the shopping list.
Chisos, why are all the zeroes reducing?
5. Every debit alert brings serious heartache and torture.
I feel it in my bones.
6. It’s only 15th of the month and things are already not smiling.
Lunch is a luxury, biscuit and pure water will do.
7. Your bank account when you think of buying ordinary Shawarma.
Are you even alright?
8. When you think about all the unnecessary things you bought during the month.
I’m not crying, sand entered my eye.
9. When the money actually finishes and everything goes red.
Fix it, Father.
10. When that huge credit alert comes in at the end of the month.
My glo up can now begin!
What did we miss? Share your experiences as a broke Nigerian with us.
