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bag | Zikoko!
  • 6 Things That Can Fit Into Women’s Mini Bags

    People are always asking what can actually fit into women’s mini bags. Since you wanted to know so bad, here are six things that can fit in those mini bags.

    1) Patience

    All the patience a Nigerian woman has can fit into one of those tiny bags. The bags get smaller if the women are shorter because short woman have no patience for you or anyone.

    2) ATM card

    Women are dedicated to spending money, and that’s why those women’s mini bags have space for just one card. Unfortunately, that card is not theirs.

    3) Bank token

    If the bags are really really small, they can’t even fit a card. However, they can fit a banking token. Maye banks knew that the bags are getting smaller, so they created new devices that would enable women to spend other people’s money. Amazing.

    4) Lipgloss

    Lip gloss is how Nigerian women lubricate their lies. Whenever a Nigerian woman is talking to you and she applies lip gloss mid-conversation, she is about to tell some of the most believable lies of all time. That’s why women’s tiny bags are just the right size for a tube of lipgloss. Stay woke.

    5) Wickedness

    Women have to carry their wickedness with them in small doses, That is why those small bags are necessary. The rest of the wickedness is in one room in their house they never let you open when you come visiting.

    6) Shame

    Whenever they are going out for brunch, all their shame can fit into that tiny little bag. That is why after their third glass of red wine, they start tweeting recklessly.

    For more on all things women, please click here

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  • This One Is For All The Big Bag Lovers

    1. What your bag looks like to you:

    Nice and normal!

    2. What your bag looks like to everyone else.

    Ahn ahn!

    3. When you are looking for something in your bag and feel like you have to enter the bag to find it.

    Stress!

    4. When everyone asks you to help them “keep something” after insulting your big bag.

    Please keep it on your head.

    5. When someone tries to sell you a clutch or small purse.

    What can someone use that one for?

    6. When you successfully hide food to carry into the cinema in your bag.

    We move!

    7. When your bag falls in public and one million and things fall out, people look at you like:

    Please pack all your shame from the floor!

    8. When you are forced to carry a small bag and you have to choose which of your one million things to leave at home:

    How can I choose?

    9. When you are paranoid someone is just going to steal from your bag and you won’t know.

    Because the bag is so big!

    10. When someone asks you “what are you even keeping inside that big bag”?

    Is it your business?
  • How Linda Ikeji Became A Fierce Feminist
    The latest fight between Linda and Wizkid was messy, no doubt. Wizkid made really misogynistic statements and even threatened to beat Linda because she reported “not-so-awesome” news about him getting evicted from his Lekki house.

    Linda who took his threat seriously, went to report the matter to the Commissioner of Police for her own security.

    And instead of her to carry on with life, she came to share a long essay explaining to Nigerians why she reported.

    She started things off with how much she likes Wizkid’s music and reported all his successes.

    “Even Wizkid himself thinks I don’t like him. Why he or anyone would think so is puzzling to me to be honest. Apart from his achievements after he started insulting me online a few weeks ago…everything else, every success Wizkid has recorded in the last 3/4 years is on LIB. All the awards, all the record breaking feats, his sold out concerts, his foreign magazine features, and collaborations, everything that has built him up to the young man he is today is on LIB”.

    She was just doing her amebo job by reporting about Wizkid’s alleged eviction notice.

    “When I reported that he was served quit notice at his Lekki home, I stated fact and I didn’t write it out of malice. It’s not everyday you get exclusive stories…and I’m sure any other blogger who got the story first would also have published it. So, there was no beef, I was just doing my job”.

    And she just switched into feminist mode, and still managed to slut shame at the same time.

    “You call a woman, who gave another young woman, whose real name she doesn’t even know N500,000 just because she said she would rather work by carrying cement than prostitute herself, that’s the person you call a hoe? When your mind is so warped you can’t differentiate between a woman and a hoe, then this is what happens.”

    And said she reported so women can speak up against violence.

    “I went as far as I did for me and for other women. This is to pass a strong message to our young men that these kinds of behaviour towards women will not be tolerated. Should not be tolerated. If you assault or even threaten to assault a woman, the law will come after you if she chooses not to be silent. Women, don’t be silent. Let’s break the circle”.

    Yes, violence against women and anyone should not be condoned and must be reported to authorities.

    More action should be taken against people (and celebrities) who make misogynistic comments and unnecessary violent threats!

    When someone who has brought other women down with false news tries to tap into the anointing of female empowerment.

    When people resort to feminism only when it suits them.

    When she brought Tupac from the land of the dead to prove her slut-shaming point.

    When someone slut-shames and claims to empower women in one breath.

    When Linda comes again with her long essays.

    When it takes only a bag to make someone lose their mind yet they claim to be humble.

    When someone keeps announcing how they dashed people money every time they have problems with people.

    But why should Wizkid still have any endorsements after making those trashy and disrespectful comments?

    We hope this step she took will actually deter people like Wizkid from making such threats and comments next time.

    [zkk_poll post=28940 poll=content_block_standard_format_17]
  • The Case of Nigerians And Linda Ikeji’s Hermes Birkin Handbag

    Who runs banter on the internet? Nigerians!

    What would you do if someone calls the luxury designer handbag that you bought with your hard earned cash fake?

    It all began when Linda Ikeji, the owner of this bag shared the latest expensive addition to her wardrobe.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BBSHMtnhATE/?taken-by=officiallindaikeji
    Her very first one.

    But Nigerians love to dig out information from corners of the earth.

    With solid proof of course.

    And Nigerians came for Linda…

    In droves..

    But she wasn’t having any of it.

    She had to stand by every cent of the $14,000 she spent on the bag.

    Are goods in the UK priced in dollars? We’re just asking oh.

    Even the ones with fake handbags came for her.

    Everybody lost all chill in the world.

    https://twitter.com/Morenikeeee_/status/699712557087662081

    This analogy.

    For those who believe her.

    https://twitter.com/HEAD_MASTA/status/699720136970911744

    The ones that couldn’t be bothered.

    What goes around..

    Might come back around for you on the internet.

    [zkk_poll post=18879 poll=content_block_standard_format_15]