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bad bitch | Zikoko!
  • 10 Signs You Have That HERtitude

    10 Signs You Have That HERtitude

    Hot babes, here’s the 411. The sun might be hot AF right now, but you’ll forever be hotter. As the hot babe you are, it’s of the utmost importance that you not only attend HERtitude but also have that HERtitude.

    We know you already have it, but here’s how you can identify that HERtitude in yourself and other hot babes.

    You’re a hot babe

    In the book of Hotties 20:4, it was written, “All hot babes have that HERtitude”. We would say we don’t make the rules, but we actually do.

    You love yourself 

    For you to walk, talk and act like the hot babe you are, you have to first love yourself. We’ll admit, it might be a bit difficult on some days, but as long as you try then you definitely have that HERtitude.

    You love the girlies

    To have that HERtitude, you need to show genuine love and care to your fellow hot babes. Technically, you need to show love and care to everyone, but we’ll allow a little bias.

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    You support women’s rights and wrongs

    Sometimes, women move madder than PHCN and their new 300% tariff increase, but that doesn’t matter. If a man can fly from a thousand galaxies to support the rights and wrongs of another man whose first name he doesn’t even know, you can do the same.

    Disclaimer: If the wrong is a crime, all bets are off, and you have the right to call her out on her bullshit. If it’s something like a little cheating, then please feel free to support your girl.

    You understand that the sun might be hot, but you’re hotter

    Regardless of the weather, you’re a hot babe. Even if the sun decides to take a break and let the cool breeze do its thing, nothing can quench your fire.

    You’ll be at HERtitude ‘24

    Here’s a little hot babe hack for you: If you feel like you aren’t hot enough or you don’t have that HERtitude, look into a mirror, shout I’m a hot babe three times, pick up your phone and buy your HERtitude ticket. If you don’t feel like a hot babe after April 20, lock us up and throw away the keys.

    You have more than two girlfriends 

    To truly be a hot babe and have that HERtitude, you must surround yourself with hot babes. We make the rules. We know what we’re talking about.

    You leave situations that no longer serve you

    As a hot babe, it’s important to avoid see-finish or anything that might even look like it. 

    You always have fun

    It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of Third Mainland Bridge in standstill traffic. You always try to have the time of your life.

    You make space for other hot babes

    Whether it’s on the bus, at the supermarket, or at work, as a hot babe, your job is to make sure you help other hot babes get seen same as you.

  • QUIZ: What Type of Baddie Are You?

    QUIZ: What Type of Baddie Are You?

    Look no further, we know your baddie-type.

  • Your Bad Bitch Days May Be Behind You

    Your Bad Bitch Days May Be Behind You

    Life comes at you fast. You think you’re living your best baddie life until you’re packing flat slippers in your bag every time you go out in heels. If there’s one thing more difficult than being a bad bitch, it’s making sure the title sticks, even when everything around you is moving mad.

    But bad bitches have to retire at some point — and maybe even go on to become rich aunties — and it’s okay. So if any of these eight things start happening to you, just know retirement is knocking.

    Your uniform game becomes mid

    Everyone knows the baddie uniform is ashawo clothes. It’s the constitution. Once you find yourself considering the pros and cons because of a tiny reason like cold weather, it’s all over.

    You start catching feelings

    So you’re now thinking of someone and smiling to yourself? You now re-read chats and giggle like a hopeless romantic? What happened to “Catch flights, not feelings”?

    You become prone to body aches

    What’s a bad bitch doing with back pain? Once you can no longer twerk for five minutes in peace without putting out your back and knees, know the end is near.

    You start carrying big bags

    The pillar of bad bitchery is carrying bags that’ll only fit a tube of lipgloss and a phone. Anything bigger is a sign of basicness.

    You’re queuing to buy fuel

    How many baddies do you see queueing at filling stations? None. Who cares if fuel is scarce? Baddies don’t queue. Period.

    Broke people approach you now

    As a baddie, your entire existence should tell broke people, “I’m not in your league”. Once they start having the confidence to approach you, something is wrong somewhere.

    You start to think creamy pasta is overpriced

    Sure, the economy is economying, but even though. Pasta is your identity. Sticking to it is the price to pay for bad bitchery. Once you start considering the price, you might as well throw yourself a bad bitch retirement party.

    You have more than one child

    One child, we can excuse. But two or more? How do you want to be a baddie when you’re prepping meals and solving quantitative reasoning? Just retire peacefully, dear. You’ve had a good run.


    NEXT READ: Before You Date a Bad Bitch, You Should Be Aware of These 8 Things

  • Why Lori Harvey is the Odogwu

    Why Lori Harvey is the Odogwu

    Every year, the earth orbits the sun, Nigeria finds a new way to show us shege and Lori Harvey has at least 30% of the Twitter population pressed. This is honestly enough to cement her as the bad bitch she is, but still, here are 5 reasons why Lori Harvey is The Odogwu.

    She’s living her best life

    Baby girl’s taking trips, finding love and bagging deals. The trinity of bad bitchery.

    She is the prize

    The babe looks like the baddest bitch in existence. These men get with her, and they become OBSESSED. The prize for real, for real.

    She keeps the mandem on their ten toes

    Every time a picture of Lori and a new beau surfaces, men start foaming at the mouth, and suddenly everybody has a thinkpiece.

    She’s a woman of action

    There’s no time for manifestation over here. What Lori wants, Lori gets. Whenever there’s a new tall, dark and handsome man on our mood boards, Lori pops up with him two weeks later. Chelsea, come on now.

    She’s in her bag

    We stan an entrepreneurial baddie. Lori owns a skincare brand and is also a model and influencer who’s worked with a shit ton of popular brands, so yeah, she’s got the coins.

  • 13 Ayra Starr Lyrics from “19 & Dangerous” to Unlock Your Inner Bad Bitch

    13 Ayra Starr Lyrics from “19 & Dangerous” to Unlock Your Inner Bad Bitch

    Being a bad bitch is not a phase or a mood, it’s an identity, and Ayra Starr is one Nigerian artist that has it on lock. From her music to her attitude (we can’t forget her fashion game), Ayra is the embodiment of “doing my own thing and not caring what anyone says”. 

    But how can the rest of us mortals tap into this bad bitch energy? Luckily for us, Ayra is also a teacher, and the deluxe version of 19 & Dangerous is filled with little bad bitchery nuggets of wisdom. 

    “I ain’t got no ass and no titties. But I’ll steal your man with my kitty” — Skinny Girl Anthem

    Bad bitches know how to use what they have to get what they want. Yes, they may not have everything, but their talent allows them make things work regardless. Not to say that bad bitches steal people’s men up and down, but just know they could if they wanted to. 

    “Suck on these nuts if you ain’t approve of. I’ve cared for too long”  — Cast (Gen Z Anthem) 

    Bad bitches don’t need approval from anyone but themselves. People will try to question or bring you down, but like garri, still you rise. 

    “Me no getty time for the hate and the bad energy. Got my mind on my money”  — Rush 

    Haters and bad energy? No, we can’t relate to that in this bad bitch villa. As a bad bitch, all you’re allowed to focus on is money, money and more money. If it’s not about your bag, delete it with vim. 

    “Once bitten, twice shy. I dey hear word” — Running 

    Bad bitches are smart enough to know when to walk away. Allowing someone to take you fi eediat once is sad, but you stop being a bad bitch when you allow them to do it to you over and over again. Don’t you have shame? 

    “Everything I desire, I go receive”  — Bloody Samaritan 

    Bad bitches and manifestation go hand in hand. People will think you’re delusional when you share our hopes and dreams, but you can achieve anything you set your mind to, so forget them. Manifest with confidence, and claim what’s yours. 

    “Fuck society! Fuck you wannabes! Fuck your hypocrisy!” — Ase

    What has listening to society ever done for anyone? Ayra’s success comes from her talent and ability to block out haters. You need to be able to make your choices and stand by them if you want to thrive as a bad bitch. 

    RECOMMENDED: Ayra Starr’s “19 and Dangerous” Is Really Dangerous

    “I’m a fashion killer, yeah. I got much delivered, yeah” — Fashion Killer 

    Fashion plays an important role in building your bad bitch energy. Have you ever seen a bad bitch who doesn’t know how to rock baffs? We don’t do that here. Take a page from Ayra’s book, and keep your fashion game on one hundred, no matter what. 

    “If you fuck with me, better run for your life” — Snitch 

    Want to mess with a bad bitch? My dear, don’t. Bad bitches are always in their lane, but once in a while, remind everyone that messing around with a bad bitch always ends in tears, and you definitely won’t be the one crying. 

    If they think they’re crazy, show them you’re crazier. 

    “Which kain money we never see before”  — Rush 

    Just so you know, bad bitches run money, money doesn’t run them. Never allow money move you — unless it’s Dangote or Otedola money sha. 

    “If I cast, I cast. Yeah. Anything wey wan sup go sup” — Cast (Gen Z Anthem)

    What’s the worst that can happen when you mess up? As long as you’re still breathing and didn’t hurt anyone, everyone will be alright last last. Bad bitches keep their heads up, always. 

    “Broke all the stereotypes. I make my rules”  — Bridgertn 

    Rules are for small boys and girls. Bad bitches don’t follow rules; they make their own. Purr. 

    “Sabi girl no dey too like talk”  — Rush

    Bad bitches don’t stress themselves by talking too much, and Ayra knows this. You have to be a person of  action, not words. Why are you arguing on Twitter or the streets? Eww. Remember these lyrics anytime you’re tempted to lose composure. 

    “This bad bitch bad every day” — Bloody Samaritan 

    Bad bitch is not a one day activity, it’s an identity. It’s a lifestyle. It’s peak. It’s in you. Can the congregation shout amen? 

    ALSO READ: Ayra Starr Is Just Getting Started


    Come watch Ayra Starr perform at Z! Fest on the 26th of November 2022.

  • Before You Date a Bad Bitch, You Should Be Aware of These 8 Things

    Before You Date a Bad Bitch, You Should Be Aware of These 8 Things

    Being a bad bitch is difficult enough, but dating one? You need grace, strength and willpower. Another thing you need is this list, in which we break down eight extremely important things you need to know before you date a bad bitch. 

    Avoid her comments section

    If you don’t heed our advice, you might not be able to eat properly for the next couple of days. It’s not because she’s flirting or anything, but the amount of people openly saying they don’t care if she’s in a relationship? It’s enough to instil the fear of God into your heart. If you weren’t someone who prayed before, better start now. 

    Remind yourself she chose you 

    Out of all the other people throwing themselves at her, you’re who she calls home. You’ve seen her at her worst, so be calm. If you feel anyhow, beat your chest three times and dust it off. 

    Believe in your sauce

    You can’t be with a bad bitch if you have low self-esteem. People will try to disrespect you to her face or belittle you. Sure, she shuts it down immediately, but new people will try again. You need to believe you’re also the prize. Their dads. 

    Learn photography

    One thing about a bad bitch is she’ll look hot 24/7, and she has to document her beauty. Sure, your relationship should be built on love and trust, but your ability to take fire pictures could make or mar your relationship. Better go and enrol in photography school. 

    RELATED: 16 Signs You’re Not the Bad Bitch You Think You Are

    Jealousy is fine

    It’s alright to be jealous because of the calibre of people moving to her, but what matters is how you behave. Don’t go and do anything stupid before you lose your bad bitch, because you may never recover. 

    Make money

    She might not ask, but the urge to spend on her increases every single time you look at her face. You think being a bad bitch is cheap? It’s not, and your pockets will suffer. 

    She needs time with the girls

    Every bad bitch needs to recharge with her girls. It’s where they top up their bad bitchery. There might be a lot of alcohol and drunk texts of her telling you how she wants to tear your clothes, but don’t worry, she’d probably fall asleep in an hour. 

    Embrace her weirdness 

    All bad bitches have a very weird trait you’d see once you’re close to them. Either their stomach behaves like an opp 23/6 or they eat weird food combinations. Whatever the behaviour, just prepare for high levels of exposure to it. You think dating a bad bitch is easy? 

    People will spend double your salary on her in a day 

    One thing bad bitches attract is people with money. So don’t be surprised if there are people spending your one-month salary on her head. Look at it this way, it helps you save your own for other things. Plus, anything they buy for her is technically for both of you. Yes, even her Dior bag. Better borrow it.

    RELATED: 8 Sure Ways to Become a Certified Bad Bitch

  • 8 Sure Ways To Become A Certified Bad Bitch

    8 Sure Ways To Become A Certified Bad Bitch

    Being a bad bitch is gender non-binary and anyone can be a bad bitch, so rest your mind. All you need to do is follow our super easy tips and you’d be a bad bitch before the week is over. 

    1. Eat only pasta.

    Pasta was made specifically for baddies;  it’s the unspoken secret meal that opens the pathway to your bad bitch supernatural abilities. Don’t make the mistake of cooking the pasta yourself, you have to buy it and eat it from an overpriced Lagos restaurant.

    Roman-Style Spaghetti Alla Carrettiera (Tomato, Tuna, and Mushroom Pasta)  Recipe

    2. Wear only ashewo clothes.

    What’s the point of being a baddie if it’s not the first thing people see? Make sure your shorts are super short and you are very invested in Lagos fashion and cut out clothes. Ensure you dress like you are straight out of “pretty little things” website. 

    LAMI of Abuja on Twitter: "Men in our popupbylami T-shirt… "

    3. Be a Gemini or a Scorpio.

    Scorpios are the baddest babes that ever walked the face of the earth, followed closely by Geminis. Every real bad bitch needs to have a drop of toxicity and Geminis and Scorpios have that in excess.  

    Your Guide to Gemini Season | Allure
    16,706 Scorpio Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

    4. Have nothing less than 5 tubes of lipgloss.

    Lipgloss is an essential tool in unlocking your baddieness. Every baddie needs to constantly moisturize their l̶i̶e̶s̶ lips. 

    5. Only carry mini bags.

    As a bad bitch, you have no business carrying any bag that can fit more than your patience, your lipgloss and your phone. Any other thing can be left in the bags or purses of other ordinary bitches. 

    6. Only wear boots.

    Come rain, come sunshine you must only wear boots. You need the boots to stomp on ordinary bitches and you also need them to complete your drip. Regular shoes are for regular people and you aren’t a regular person, you are a bad bitch.

    Boots | HYPEBAE

    7. Follow the teachings of Bobrisky.

    Bobrisky is the most original bad babe in Nigeria and you need to heed every piece of advice she gives. Whatever has worked for her in the past is definitely going to work for you too. 

    8. Get a nose ring.

    Nose rings are the key to unlocking your inner bad baddie (forget whatever we said about it being lipgloss). Every certified bad bitch has a nose ring. 

  • 16 Signs You’re Not The Bad Bitch You Think You Are

    16 Signs You’re Not The Bad Bitch You Think You Are

    There are too many people on these streets claiming to be what they are not. At least five people out of six claim to be a bad bitch, even when they do not have the range or ability for it.

    Anyway, we have decided to put you all in your place. If these signs manifest in your life, then it means you are not the bad bitch you actually think you are.

    1. You catch feelings quick.

    Someone will text you everyday for two weeks and you have already caught feelings. Do you really think that’s an attribute of a bad bitch?

    2. You still live under your parents’ roof.

    bukky-wright-and-jide-kosoko | Zikoko!

    Your parents are housing you and you want to come out and claim bad bitch. Which money will you use to paint town red? Your pocket money?

    3. You slimfit your jeans because you can’t find your size.

    Please just rest. Don’t drag anything, just quietly renounce the title of bad bitch and live a honest life.

    4. You cry when you watch movies.

    Even songs, you are crying. You think being bad bitch is about being Nkiru Sylvanus’ intern? Abeg comot for here.

    5. You are studying biochemistry, engineering, sociology, or geology.

    Even if they are distributing bad bitch forms for free, it will never reach you. Just focus on your studies, eh?

    6. You are the second born.

    You got leftover baby clothes from the first born. Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t qualify.

    7. You moan during sex.

    Something you are supposed to chest and keep quiet. Ask the real bad bitches, they don’t even do pim.

    8. You attend Covenant University.

    Hmmm. It is well. Please dissociate yourself from being a bad bitch before your school authorities decide to abolish bad bitches worldwide.

    9. You have a babyface.

    fave-girl-pissed | Zikoko!

    Nature has already denied you access to the bad bitch circle. Please rest.

    10. Your name is Desire, Damilola, TiaraOluwa, Chioma, Amaka, Favour.

    Ah, please go and do change of name before you even think of calling yourself a bad bitch, abeg.

    11. Your name is Blessing.

    Sorry dear, even if you change your name, you still cannot be a bad bitch. Having Blessing as your name has forever robbed you of that chance.

    12. You cannot swim or ride a bicycle.

    Instead of you to be learning how to do these things, you are trying to be a bad bitch. Do you even have your priorities aligned?

    13. Your parents did not throw a first year birthday party for you.

    Smart parents. They already know you don’t have the potential for it.

    14. You have less than five wigs.

    More importantly, what will your life as a bad bitch look like?

    15. You cannot draw your own eyebrows.

    At this point, just give up. If they call bad bitches and you answer eh, we will personally find you and cane you.

    16. You eat semo.

    Please get out of here, cultist.

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