After more drama than the entire Telemundo channel put together, Rotimi Amaechi has been sworn in as the Federal Minister of Transportation. Congratulations to him but we are interested in how to get our own. That’s why Zikoko has put together this strong manual on how to achieve success in 14 easy steps using Rotimi Amaechi as a template. Get ready to learn. Your success is around the corner!

1. Remember to be diligent for your boss.

Some people are not serious – too lazy or proud to do simple tasks.  Don’t be one of them.  Even if it means carrying microphone for your boss when he’s making a speech you wrote and he doesn’t understand, keep at it.  That’s how it starts.

2. And laugh with your enemies.

Laughter won’t kill you. Doesn’t the Bible say you should bless your enemies?  It doesn’t matter if your enemy is your oga’s wife or his side chick, my friend open your mouth and laugh.  Sometimes you’re laughing at them but it doesn’t matter as long as you’re laughing.

3. Even when they can’t count.

I mean, how is 16 greater than 19? Sometimes, your boss miscalculates.  No one is above mistake.  Sometimes, they miscalculate your salary and only pay you 50% of what you agreed.  Sometimes, they miscalculate the days of the month and only pay you once every 8 months.  No vex, no one is above mistake.

4. And want to cheat you of your inheritance

NO, HOW IS SIXTEEN GREATER THAN NINETEEN? To be honest, I don’t really know.  Sometimes, you will face injustice and ignore.  Sometimes, you will react.  But make sure the mathematics is on your side.  Better that you don’t make mistake in your own calculation too.

5. Praise God in everything

Don’t forget to add shoki to your praise.  The devil hates shoki.  Go to a good church and dance your wahala away.  There is a blessing in the dance, abi how do pastors normally say it.

6. Do any job you are given very well, you never know where it will end up!

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7. Don’t let your past disturb you

Why should a monorail mistake derail you? Like we’ve said before, no one is above mistake.  Don’t be one of those people always looking backwards.  Anything can happen in your future.  Be bold, buy original Beats By Dre and ignore the haters!

8. Some days will be easy

And everything will be sweet.  Every drink will taste like it has sugar and nothing will do you one kind.  Better enjoy those days because it’s like devil has gone for check up and has left you for a bit.  Other days are coming.

9. Some days will be weird

Please why is this man pulling my ear? On your road to your new destination, you will experience strange things.  Repeat this to yourself, “na me dey find something“.

10. But keep singing and rejoicing

Open your mouth and sing.  Sing praise songs.  Sing reggae songs, then add blues after.  Sing hip-hop sef.  But don’t sing Adele’s “Hello”.  That song can’t help you in tough times – the only person that song has helped is Adele.

11. And dancing

Pastors recommend it.  Fitness experts recommend it.  Dance and forget your troubles.  You can’t come and go and kill yourself!  Does it matter if you’re a terrible dancer?

12. Dress for the job you want.

After all, a minister has to be a model citizen.  It pays to be bold and adventurous in your fashion choices.  It’s good practice for the real work you’re aiming for and it gets you noticed.

13. And one day, you will be surprised with good news

All your work has paid off.  They’ve called you to collect the job.  Or the contract.  Your hustle has clicked. You don get alert, #Godwin. Now is the time to change your phone number so that all the people that will now start asking you for things will let you rest.

14. And you know you’ve got victory over your enemies

Congratulations, Mr. Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi! Now the work begins.