When you got admission into university, you were excited about a whole new life. You were ready to revel in a new kind of freedom, away from your parents and the annoying curfews and rules they set to curtail your movements. You thought about a lot of things: what to do, when to do it, how to have the most kind of fun in your new life without anyone overshadowing your movements or moments.

You thought about your prospective roommate(s) too, but you didn’t give them much thought. How bad could it be? Who could be as horrible as the sibling you shared your room with? If only you had known that there was horrible and there was horrible. Once the life started, you started to amass stories because of these people, these roommates and their varying behaviours:

The Annoying Cleaner

You always thought you were clean enough. Growing up, you always heard that cleanliness was next to Godliness. You had that shit on lock – or so you thought until you met your roommate, and started to wonder if they were overdoing it, or you were only not as clean as you thought. At first, you couldn’t care less, so you watched in amusement when they complained about a sock on the floor, or plates you hadn’t washed in days.

Then, it got real. You started to lose your stuff. At first, you thought you were tripping and blamed it on your forgetfulness. But it was happening way too much. You couldn’t be that forgetful. You did a little digging and found out your roommate had been moving your stuff because they thought they were what? Trash!!!

You learned your lesson, though. Anything you needed was kept out of plain sight. Life could be easier, but you had to adapt.

The Irritating Slob

You probably thought your “please-this-place-could-be-cleaner-roommate” was the worst kind of person you would have to deal with. Heh! It was only a matter of time before you realised how wrong you were. You changed rooms and was prepared to settle into a new life. Your new roommate wasn’t overbearing as the last one. They didn’t trouble you over the littlest things. Ha, life was getting better.

Then you started to notice a strange pattern; how the room would not be swept for days at a time if you didn’t do it. How making the bed in the morning was not a concept your new roommate was comfortable with. How your new roommate was not a fan of washing the dishes they used until weeks or months had passed. How their shoes were strewn around in the room, and their clothes were in a heap in a corner waiting to be attended to. And the worst of all, how they were so comfortable in the mess they lived in – thriving even.

You realised what a fast life this was, because now, you were the irritable, overbearing one who needed to take things easier.

The Turn-up Freak

At this point, you thought about living alone, but it wasn’t up to you. Your account balance said no, so you forged on, ready for whatever came next. Again, you thought the worst had passed.

You met your new roommate, and they seemed okay. You even had a honeymoon phase when everything was perfect. The new roommate was outgoing but it didn’t bother you. Soon, it became your problem. They started keeping late-nights or early-mornings, disrupting whatever you thought was fun during these moments e.g sleep. They had lost their key too, so you had to be the designated, irritated, and unpaid doorkeeper. Again, you stayed because you didn’t have a choice. That too shall pass you said to yourself.

The Roommate Without A Leash

At this point, you had given up. You were ready to face anything. You switched roommates again, and in came the new one. You knew something was off immediately you saw them. Their “over-friendliness” signaled an ominous feeling. You would find out soon enough. It started from borrowing little things you didn’t care about like your pen or something.

Then, your clothes, shoes, and every other thing you cared about stopped being yours. All your talk about respecting boundaries fell into the void.
You weren’t your own person, anymore. They owned you.

Your Twin Personality

Now, your spirit had been broken. You were going to have another roommate. You knew what to expect now; something about them would make your life miserable. Well, if that was it, it was it. You were only a pawn in the game. Things started smoothly, but you started to count down to when things would go horribly wrong.

Nothing happened. Not in the first week, second, or third. Nor in the first month, second, or third month. You started to let yourself believe that nothing would go wrong, and for the most part, you were right!
It took some time, but you found a match. One experience you could reminisce about without a dry taste hanging in your throat.