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  • 9 Ways to Practice Aftercare With Your Lover

    “Aftercare” is a term that originally came from the BDSM community. It defines the care shown to a lover before, during, and after sexual encounters. Basically, it’s a mutual check-in between sexual partners. The concept of aftercare transcends the BDSM community these days because everyone deserves care in their relationship. Sex is a pleasurable activity that leaves us feeling vulnerable, and whether it’s in a casual relationship or a committed one, aftercare is a way to show your partner you care about them. 

    Here’s a list of ways you can practice aftercare with your partner: 

    Sending a check-in text 

    This is the bare minimum. Even if your partner is the type to run off before daybreak, you can still send a check-in text to make sure they are okay. This shows that you value them and the experience you two shared.

    RELATED: The 10 Horniest Emojis Nigerians Use in Texting

    Cuddling 

    Cuddling is an intimate affair that communicates care for one other. It releases the oxytocin hormone which helps to reduce stress. Everybody should cuddle their lovers more — one night stands or not — with their consent, of course. 

    Talking about sex 

    Talking about sex is a great way to build intimacy in a relationship. Tell your partner what you liked, what you didn’t enjoy, and why. That way, they get to know you better, and it helps to affirm both partners. It might even lead to another round. 

    Washing sex toys together 

    If you and your partner(s) use toys, washing them together is another great way to build intimacy and practice aftercare. You can also talk about the sex while you’re at it to build the tension. 

    RELATED: 7 Sex Toys Every Woman Should Have, According to Amina Soul

    Watching a movie together 

    Cuddling and watching a movie together is another effective way to practice aftercare. It’s a lighthearted activity that can help calm you down if the sex was particularly intense. 

    Cooking together 

    Cooking is a great bonding activity. It shows a person that you value their company and like to spend time with them outside sex. You’ll definitely be getting a call back if you do this right. 

    Sleeping together 

    This works for the same reason cuddling does. Sleeping next to someone who has felt your insides (or vice versa) can induce happy feelings and might lead to more sex. Don’t say we don’t do anything for you.


    In the end, aftercare is just a way to make sure you’re not being an ass to people you’re being intimate with. To learn more about intimacy, read this article on sex positions you absolutely have to try.

    Zikoko is launching a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.

    Mariam Sule

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  • 7 Things To Do After Having Unprotected Sex

    Sometimes you might have used a condom and it broke or forgotten to use one, don’t panic, here’s what to do after having unprotected sex.

    P.s: This shouldn’t stop you from seeking out professional help.

    1. Pee within 30 minutes

    Peeing after sex is very important. Sometimes, your bladder might feel empty but still go to the bathroom, you’d be surprised. Peeing helps flush out any bacteria which could cause an infection you might have been exposed to during sex. Remember that peeing won’t remove the risk of pregnancy.

    2. Do not douche, do wash up

    In your panic thinking about what to do after having unprotected sex, always remember that your genital’s do not need a thorough cleanse after sexual activities. While washing or douching might make you feel more comfortable, vaginal or anal douching can put you at increased risk of infection because douching products can irritate.

    3. Check in with yourself

    Make sure you make space to check in with yourself and your partner if need be. It’s okay to feel worried, angry or sad after having unprotected sex. You don’t have to deal with the burden of this, talk to friends or family about it so they support and you. If you aren’t comfortable speaking to anyone you know, consider talking to an expert. 

    4. Take the emergency contraceptive pill

     Emergency contraceptives need to be taken within 72 hours of sex without a condom. It’s vital to take preventive medication for HIV within the same timeframe. The sooner you take it, the better. Make an appointment at Family Planning or with your doctor as soon as possible.

    5. Get checked for STIs two weeks after

    Unusual discharge and pain when urinating are common symptoms of both gonorrhoea and chlamydia, also look out for bleeding after sex and between periods. This is one of the most important things to do after having unprotected sex. So,  get tested, remember that it is treatable and avoid having sex until the infection clears up.

    6. Do a pregnancy test three weeks after

    Even after taking all these precautions, if you are convinced you might be pregnant, take the test after three weeks. As pregnancy tests work by detecting a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin. It can take a while for enough HCG to build up in your body, so you should wait to take a test until 3 weeks after sex. If your test is positive, book an appointment with a professional to discuss your options.

    7. Make sure you use contraceptives next time

    Next time you’re thinking about what to do after having unprotected sex, remember that there are long-lasting contraceptives like the IUD and implant that are effective at preventing unintended pregnancies and they last for 3 to 10 years. Using a condom plus your regular method of contraception will help protect you from unintended pregnancies and STIs. Stay safe.

    Malakai Bassey

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