Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121 afcon | Zikoko!
Nigerians have more faith in the Super Eagles to deliver than they have in the federal government. Football is major to us, and our African Giant ego simply won’t let us see other African countries overshadow us. If the Super Eagles emerge as the winners of the 2023 African Cup of Nations (AFCON) come February 11th, you can expect these behaviours.
Main character syndrome
Nigeria hasn’t won yet, but we’re already the loudest when it comes to fan support on X and IG. If we win, you’ll see brags like, “Only two countries in Africa, Nigeria and the rest.”
Claim amapiano boss
After the embarrassment we faced at the Grammy Awards 2023, Naija fans plan to use our AFCON match against South Africa this evening as a metric for who actually owns Amapiano. If we beat Bafana Bafana and go on to win the Cup, Nigerians will make hits about it on Amapiano beats.
Our Valentine Special is here. We brought back three couples – one now with kids, one now married and the last, still best friends – to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. Watch the first episode below:
Federal government eye service
The moment the final whistle blows and Nigeria lifts the AFCON cup, trust the federal government to be all up in our faces with “Well done, boys.”
That’s their incoming bullshit
Ugly trad wear
It’s unclear whether the Nigerian Football Federal (NFF) is working with a small budget or they just have a high taste for ugly traditional wear. But we’re sure the Super Eagles’ final celebration aso-ebi will be more disappointing than the trad they wore at the beginning of the tournament.
Rest in peace to steeze
Peak fooling continua
We’ll use the much-needed win to fool ourselves into forgetting we have a government that needs asskicking.
Guilt-tripping
But there will always be those people who’ll guilt trip others for celebrating the win and remind them about the Nigerian problems we’re trying to escape.
Football kit hike
If we win this tournament, the Nigerian jersey will turn to gold, and vendors will make a fortune off it. Get yours now if you plan to, or these Tinubu prices will surprise you.
On January 13, 2024, the 2023 campaign of the African Cup of Nations (AFCON) kicked off in Cote d’Ivoire. Every two years, 24 countries gather in a host country and, for one month, compete against one another with one goal: Becoming the champions of African football.
Since AFCON’s opening weekend, I’ve been curious about the costs of travelling to Cote d’Ivoire. Two reasons here: A West African country is hosting it. Also, I couldn’t help but notice, as did many others, the low supporter turnout in the first few matches of the tournament. One question everyone asked was how only a few Nigerians could travel to support the Nigerian Super Eagles in a tournament happening a few countries away.
We know why, don’t we?
Out of interest, I talked to three people who made the trip and asked them to explain how much they spent on their AFCON 2023 experience.
The cost of flight tickets
On a 1000 km stretch of road, three countries, border and immigration agents stand between Lagos and Abidjan, so there is no surprise that the people I spoke with travelled by air. “I paid ₦828k for a return flight ticket with Air Cote D’Ivoire from Lagos 11 days before my departure date,” said Suraj Oyewale, a businessman, who was in the country for a week to watch Nigeria’s first two group games — the 1-1 draw against Equatorial Guinea and the 1-nil victory over the hosts.
This wasn’t Suraj’s first time travelling across West Africa, and he remembers paying a fraction of the current prices for his previous trips. “In May 2022, I booked a return flight ticket for Lagos-Abidjan-Dakar three weeks in advance and paid ₦378k. Less than two years later, the price has doubled.”
Phatill, a sports journalist, got her Confederation of African Football (CAF) media accreditation for AFCON 2023 three weeks before the competition and booked her return flight immediately, paying ₦900k for the tickets. However, she briefly considered the thought of travelling by road with friends but decided what she’d save with this option wasn’t worth the potential stress. Why spend more than 20 hours on the road when you can spend two? “I wasn’t ready for the stress,” she said.
Ayoola, a filmmaker, booked his tickets on December 5, 2023, against his January 14 departure date and paid $705. While he didn’t make the trip by road, he notes that public transport is the most economical solution to navigating West African countries. Two years ago, he paid ₦120k for a seat in a 4-seater on a trip to Cotonou.
The cost of accommodation
During his week-long stay in the host country, Suraj lodged in a 2-star hotel in Cocody, an upscale area in Abidjan, and paid 54 286 CFA per night. One critical thing to note: ₦1 currently exchanges for 1.5 CFA on the official market and 2 CFA on the black market. Suraj couldn’t get official rates, so he ended up paying over ₦100k/night for a hotel accommodation that should have cost ₦82k/night.
Phatill and Ayoola, on the other hand, got better deals. They have family and friends in Abidjan who took them in for free. But Phatill notes that Cocody is one of the best locations for visitors in the city.
“Cocody is close to everywhere. But the cheapest hotel you might find in Cocody won’t be less than 40,000 CFA (₦80k) per night.
The cost of feeding
Suraj’s hotel bill didn’t include complimentary breakfasts. Instead, the hotel offered him a 4000 CFA (₦8k) per breakfast service, which he didn’t take. “When I arrived in Abidjan, I shopped at a mall and spent 20000 CFA (₦40k) for bread, biscuits, yoghurt, cashew nuts, butter, juices and apples. These were my breakfast during my stay. “
This hack sustained him through most of the days, but there was still the tiny matter of dinners, and he sorted them with visits to a restaurant close to his hotel. “My chicken meal with sides, juices and water cost an average of 8000 CFA (₦16k) per meal,” he said.
Suraj believes several factors affect restaurant food prices, but he estimates the cost of decent meals in the city to be around 4000 CFA (₦8k) and 10000 CFA (₦20k). Although Phatill has had to eat out several times, living with family has helped her reduce her feeding spend. She also agrees that the type of food and restaurant determines the cost and puts the number at least 3000 CFA (₦6k).
The cost of intra-city transportation
Cocody may be a location of choice for visitors in Abidjan, but the AFCON stadiums are spread across five cities: Abidjan, Yamoussoukro, Bouake, Korhogo and San Pedro. Everyone I spoke to confirmed that it’s relatively easy to move within the city with taxis, Uber and Yango, another ride-hailing service operating in the country.
One of the biggest perks of Phatill’s media pass is the access to media buses travelling to the stadiums across the country. She only needs to make her way to the media centre in Abidjan, which serves as the rendezvous point. She’s found taxis and ride-hailing services useful for these short trips.
“I use Yango to move from my house to the media centre in Treichville Centre, and the average fare is around CFA 3000 (₦6k) – CFA 4000 (₦8k),” she said.
Similarly, Ayoola moved around with Uber and Yango, and the average cost of his trips hovered around CFA 6000 (₦12k). “I used Yango to get to the stadium for the Nigeria vs Ivory Coast match. It was a 39-minute trip, and I was charged 6600 (₦13200) CFAS for it. For my ride back to town, I jumped on a bus conveying people from the stadium to the city centre. It was free of charge,” he said.
Suraj, however, opted for the more traditional method of flagging down roadside taxis in the city. “I spent CFA 8000 (₦16k) for an hour taxi ride to the Allasane Outtara stadium to watch the Nigeria vs Equatorial Guinea game. I made the trip back to my hotel on one of the free buses.”
The Super Eagles technically have three more AFCON 2023 matches to play, but they’ll need to win each to advance to the next rounds and emerge as champions. Even if we can’t all make it to Cote d’Ivoire, millions of Nigerians will enjoy seeing the national football team go all the way.
As the Super Eagles continue their 2024 African’s Cup of Nations campaign, we send them our best wishes.
What better way to do this than create a playlist that solidifies our mission in Côte d’Ivoire. These songs have all the motivation, ginger and fire our boys need to clinch the top prize.
Play:
Africa — Yemi Alade ft. Sauti Sol
It doesn’t matter if it’s the Super Eagles or Black Stars, we are Africans first. This song by Mama Africa, featuring Kenya’s Sauti Sol, tops this playlist for good reason. It constantly reminds us of our roots and how we’re better united as one.
Want It All — Burna Boy ft. Polo G
Burna opened this song with “Remember when dem no believe me no more?”
Well, that’s the case of the Super Eagles; last time we won the AFCON was 2013. A decade later, we’re back to take our chances at winning. As a serious team in this to win every goddamn prize, there’s no better motivating song.
23 — Burna Boy
Though 23 is a reference to basketballer Michael Jordan, this song can makes you feel like Messi or Ronaldo. This song doesn’t only pump confidence, it makes you feel invincible.The Super Eagles need this.
Oya Come Make We Go — 2Baba ft. Sauti Sol
Watch the room luminate when our boys play ‘Oya Come Make We Go’ as they leave the dressing room for the pitch. This is essentially saying “let’s go there and have a blast.”
Overkilling — Djinee
Fifteen years later, Djinee’s Overkilling is still the anthem for the people chasing excellence, AKA overkilling, in their fields. This isn’t to exaggerate Super Eagles’ capability, but we can fake it till everyone believes it.
Champion — General Pype
“This is the sound of the champion,” like General Pype said in this song. In fact, it must blast in the stadium when we finally win the 2024 AFCON IJN.
Undisputed Champion — M.I Abaga
M.I’s Undisputed Champion emphasizes the need to build a winning mentality. It’s the anthem that rouses you from sleep.
Stand Strong — Davido ft. Sunday Service Choir
After our draw against Equatorial Guinea on January 14, 2024, our boys clearly need to hold onto this confidence-boost song. Whether the Super Eagles “minus” before the 2024 AFCON final or not, it should keep playing. Recommended it in the morning, afternoon and night.
Thanks to Uncle Bubu, AFCON brought both tears and rage to the eyes of many Nigerian men. These men were deeply enraged by the loss to Tunisia and Maduka Okoye suffered in their hands. Honestly, all we can say is, let’s see this energy on Valentine’s day o. The whole drama brought us to one conclusion: men will do the craziest things for the love of sports. We went out to test the theory and these seven ridiculous fanboys have proved us right.
1. Starving as a ritual
Timmy
I could never eat before a game. For instance, once Barca is playing in the Champions League, everything else has to be shut down. The only focus is Barca until the end of the day. Game days were like my own Sabbath day for football. There’s no food or work until the end of the game. Absolutely nothing was permitted to distract me and my mother understood the boundary. As long as Barca was on, she knew it would be war, getting me to do anything around the house.
2. Betting their life savings
Chinedu
My love for football led me to gambling — up Madrid for life. It started out as a way to make quick money to fix my phone — I got ₦50k for betting ₦5k. Omo. After that I kept going. In the first three months I lost about ₦120k, but I kept going. There was just something liberating about placing a bet whether I lost or not. In January, I made my biggest bet and cashed out on the Real Madrid vs A. Bilbao match. I needed money to pay my rent, so I put in my salary for the bet. It was ₦300k and cashed out ₦600k. This is what I call dedication and hard work. If I didn’t win, it might have been a different story — I knew Real Madrid could never disappoint me.
3. Wasting their parents’ ₦600k for rubbish
Steven
My love for basketball started from my years as a teenager. When I was in SS3, I snuck out of tthe boarding school conpound at night to watch a Lakers game. It was all night and I had my WAEC’s physics paper by 7 a.m. the next morning. After the game, there were no cabs and I had to stay behind at the viewing centre till the next morning. I didn’t get back to school until 8 a.m. and the invigilator didn’t let me in. That’s how I had to retake WAEC the next year.
4. Eating nonsense like milk and beans to win games
Mustaphar
My love for sports didn’t start today. I was in the acrobatics team in secondary school — I was ready to do anything to win a match. One of my friend’s told me to eat beans and milk so I could be light before one of the competitions we had in school. He told me I would be able to somersault and win the medal for our team. I ended up winning the silver medal, but I vomitted on stage. The principal asked me to clean up before presenting me with the medal. I never collected it because the principal was furious for the rest of the day; it’s thunder that will strike that guy that lied to me.
5. Hosting prayer meetings
Femi
As a football fanatic, I used to hold prayer sessions before my team played in any final. In secondary school, I wrote the name of every player on the team and placed it in my bible to pray over it. I kept up with the tradition for a couple of years, but Arsenal just kept breaking my heart. I remember casting and binding for the Europa league final against Chelsea. I’ve never prayed for something so hard. Arsenal still failed me after everything. We lost by three goals. I was in severe pain.
6. Disowning their children
Damilola
My daughter betrayed me. I had to send her out of the house for the rest of the day. It was a match between Manchester United and Chelsea. Like any other human being, I was rooting for my club the Red Devils. Next thing, my daughter walked in chanting, “Up Chelsea.” She was about twelve then. I wanted to beat her honestly. I ended up making her sit on the chair in the balcony until her mother came back from work. That one can’t be my own offspring.
7. Holding shit
Ben
I put my shit on the line for Arsenal o. As an Arsenal stan, I told my guy I wouldn’t shit for a full week if we lost the match. He was happy to agree because he always complained about the way I blasted the toilet. Arsenal disgraced me and I had to hold my shit for a week. My guy and I work remotely, so he was watching me like a hawk.
After the Super Eagles decided to go home yesterday because rest is good for the body, Kwame, Nana and Frimpong came out to drag us by our edges. But you know Nigerians na, we were the first to drag ourselves. Here are some of the funniest responses to Nigeria leaving AFCON.
If you’ve been on Twiter in the past couple of days, you must have seen a couple of tweets about one Maduka Okoye, Nigeria’s goalkeeper. If you’ve not, let’s bring you up to speed: People are lusting over the Super Eagles goalkeeper because he’s an absolute beauty. I mean, just look at this tweet:
Whenever i post a picture on Twitter, my wife will just like it and move on, but dem post Maduka Okoye pictures and she's putting 🔥 Emoji.
So, because we like chaos, we’ve decided to look through all the teams currently playing AFCON to find more eye candy for you people to lust over. Thank us later.
1. Maduka Okoye, Nigeria
I mean, just look at him.
2. Sebastien Haller, Ivory Coast
A lot of you are about to start supporting Ivory Coast now.
3. Riyad Mahrez, Algeria
If Nigeria faces Algeria, please don’t lose focus.
4. Alex Iwobi, Nigeria
Omo.
5. William Troost-Ekong, Nigeria
Omo x500.
6. Semi Ajayi, Nigeria
If this one is Semi, imagine what full Ajayi will look like.
7. Nicolas Pepe, Ivory Coast
Arsenal always has fine players. Maybe you should start supporting them.
If you’ve been following AFCON, you’ll understand why people consider it the most hilarious football competition ever. Apart from the joy that comes with watching your team win and trolling other teams when they lose, the tweets that AFCON bring are some of the most premium ones to surface Lai Mohammed’s Twitter.
See for yourself.
1. Know this and know peace.
2. Why Ikorodu, FFS?
3. AFCON defenders are aggressive as hell.
4. Someone needs to flog that SamB person.
5. These people should leave us alone.
6. Salah has played only one match o. See insults!
7. What do you want them to eat before?
8. Rude!
9. Wakanda Forever!
10. This person knows ball.
11. “Defender marry am for there!”
12. Sooner or later, this had to happen, LMAO!
13. What did Salah do to you people?
14. Context: Salah is one of the fastest players in the world.
15. Palpitations upandan. They will drag you if you lose.
Africa’s biggest football competition is back. And like the few Africans who actually know about it, we’re super excited. Yes, the time has come to watch players you never knew existed navigate insane tackles and shoddy officiating on the most barren football fields you’ve ever seen, while people on TwitterNG fight the rest of the continent by calling their Jollof rice garbage.
The fact that Nigeria hasn’t won AFCON since 2013 is stressing us and our homegirls, so we’ve decided to come up with a foolproof plan for the Super Eagles to lift the trophy one more time.
Please don’t share this with people from other African countries.
First of all, we have to confuse the opposition.
The number one way to confuse people is with our appearance. Imagine if our boys step out tomorrow to play against Egypt with their heads shaved like monks. Imagine the fear and confusion that’ll go through Mo Salah’s veins as he tries to figure out what the fuck is happening.
Tell me that this picture doesn’t terrify you.“Abi I should not play again ni?”
If baldness is too much, we should at least try out some of these hairstyles.
Imagine Iwobi running at you with the ball, looking like this.
If you think we’re lying, ask yourself, why Taribo West completely dominated football the entire time he had this hairstyle.
Next, we have to follow this guy’s advice.
In competitions like the World Cup, Euros, Champions League, and La Liga, you have to eat light before matches so you don’t get easily tired. But in AFRICA? When the sun is beating you as if you stole something? You want to eat two pieces of fish and one tangerine because you’re avoiding carbs? Carbs wey you suppose dey chop like say tomorrow no dey? Okay o. Enjoy.
This is how our boys need to eat before each match
If that one doesn’t work, seduction will.
There is no need for long shorts in football matches. Our boys need to do the needful and wear extremely short shorts so as to confuse their opponents with sexy thighs. Learn from the world’s second-best, Cristiano Ronaldo.
If we’re still losing, then we need to do what India did to us that year.
Jazz. 99-1. You’ve not heard of it? We need to consult our gods so that whenever we kick the ball, it’s lion, fire, or stone our opponents will see. Isn’t that how India beat us 99-1? Please, please. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
By any means necessary, we must win this AFCON. Up Super Eagles!
The Nigerian Super Eagles will not participate in the 2017 AFCON tournament after their failure to qualify for the games.
Although they had several shots at qualifying, their first leg match against Egypt which resulted in a draw lowered their chances.
To add salt to injury, Chad dropped out of the game stating financial reasons and the Eagles were left with one chance: Win or Get Lost!
The Eagles faced the Egyptian Pharaohs for the second time on March 29. Unfortunately for them, the Egyptian Pharaohs came hard this time, scored the only game of the match and earned a 5 point lead.
When you realise the Nigerian Super Eagles will be missing the AFCON tournament for the second time.
