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Children are foolish, but they can also be very wicked and rude. They look and act cute so most people forget just how mean these devil underlings are. If you grew up in Nigeria, some kid probably said one of these to you.
1. Askor
This was just uncalled for because it mostly came after a fight or after asking someone an important question. English kids call this speak to the hand, kids that used to say this probably lack good communication skills now.
2. Amebo curry curry
If you were a busy body growing up, you lowkey deserved hearing this ridiculous insult. Why weren’t you minding your business?
3. Ask my yansh
This is usually followed by a slap on their butt. I personally admire the sass but lord knows that it hurt a lot back then when they said this.
4. Te te ten naira bus
This one goes out to all of you that just had to report any small thing growing up. They definitely sang this song a lot for you growing up and rightfully so.
5. Cry, cry, baby
When adults sing this to crying children, it hurts, but when children sing this? It destroys all of your self-esteem and you’d just keep crying the whole day
6. Nntor nn caterpillar mess
It’s wild that kids were saying this and their parents were still calling them leaders of tomorrow. Why couldn’t they just say sorry like human beings?
7. Tambolo
If you had the unfortunate tendency to be shorter than every other kid, you definitely heard this nickname a lot. On the bright side, they used to call ants tambolo too and ants are hardworking when they are not destroying your kitchen. That’s something
8. Waka
Of all the annoying things kids used to say, this was the most silent and offensive. Five fingers pointed at you in utmost disgust.
9. Tear tear, patch patch
Kids are very heartless, what is their business with your parents struggling to mend your school uniform all the time? If they see a hole in your clothes they have to chant this, the game is the game.
10. Begi begi e no good oh
I want to believe that this was the beginning of Nigeria’s problem with communicating properly. The words yes or no exist for a reason but what did they care?
11. Bombastic element
This makes no sense in every way of the world, but it used to make us cry a lot as kids. Make it make sense
If you grew up in Nigeria around the late 80s and early 90s, then you definitely said these insults to both your friends and enemies. How well do you remember what happened after you messed?
These things were definitely not there to entertain us. They were there to punish us for every evil we’d done in the past. What the fuck?
2. People that forced you to dance
Pls I don’t want to dance
They’ll drag you out with all the kids and force you to dance to P.Square’s “Roll It” while making sarcastic remarks about your dancing abilities.
3. Those creepy adults
They’ll walk up to you and start asking you all sorts of questions like “You’re big now, what are you eating?” or “Do you remember me?”, like please just leave me along if you’re not giving me money please and please.
4. “Pimps”
They’ll randomly start pairing you with a guy/girl your age and saying “Look at your girlfriend”. Like bro I’m 8.
5. Uncles that didn’t give you money
Imagine doing all that dancing and nobody sprays you money. Wasted day. Wasted energy.
Do you remember these Nigerian shows that fully dominated the 90s and early 2000s? Honestly, this quiz should be a piece of cake for anyone above 23. All you need to do is get 9 or more questions right.
If you were born in the mid to late 90s, there are quite a lot of things from your childhood that no longer exist. A lot has changed in terms of music, snacks, film, etc. You often think back with nostalgia and long for what you can call simpler times. You want to tell the kids these days that they don’t know what they missed out on, but you’ve already said it like 78808 times. Now they look at you like a senile old man.
We understand how you feel. That’s why we’ve written this post so you can bask in nostalgia. Here’s a list of seven sweets from our childhood that need to come back.
Goody Goody
If someone comes out to say they have a pack of Goody Goody in Nigeria and that whoever wins a Hunger Games-style tournament gets the box, blood will flow that day. Family members would tear each other apart just get their hands on some nice, brown, soft and sexy Goody Goody again.
Baba Dudu
Somehow, they still sell Baba Dudu, but it’s not as good as it used to be. It’s salty and breaks once you put it in your mouth. That wasn’t the case back when we were growing up. Remember JawBreakers from Ed, Edd and Eddy? Baba Dudu was our own jawbreakers. You could lose a tooth if you tried to bite into it. Good for keeping children quiet on long journeys.
Kiddy
This was a whole-ass meal. The fact that each packet was accompanied by a little spoon made this even truer. You’d get your vanilla and your chocolate sides and if you were an OG, you’d mix the two flavours. The best part of kiddy was licking the almost empty packet clean because the little spoon couldn’t reach all the corners of the pack.
Banana Chewing Gum
This one was a parents’ favourite (even though they hate it when children chew gum). A plus was that each wrap was packaged with fun facts that made it seem like their kids were learning a lot to balance out spoiling their teeth. Kids were always excited to read those facts and show off their knowledge to their parents. Money well spent.
Robot Bubblegum
Pink wasn’t always a calm colour when it came to this chewing gum. It became a rock after one minute of chewing, but this never stopped anybody from chewing. Not until your head started aching. Nobody had to tell you before you spat it out.
Choki Choki
This was like Nutella, but better. Yes, I said it. It often left you tearing the nylon and licking it. When you were done, nobody would have ever suspected that there was ever anything in that nylon.
Bazooka Chewing Gum
This chewing gum came with comics to while away the time while you ate it. Good Stuff.
First things first, the Passions theme song was freaking awesome. You can’t even deny that. Passions followed the lives of the residents of the fictional town called Harmony, chronicling their various romantic and paranormal adventures. The major storylines focused on the interactions between the core families: The Russells, The Cranes, The Bennettes, and The Lopez-Fitzgeralds. Like any good soap opera, Passions had it all (romance, lies, betrayal, sex, murder) but truly excelled when they included elements of the supernatural involving the characters Tabitha (a centuries old witch), her doll, Timmy (who could come to life) and Charity Standish (a girl who had the ability to harness the forces of goodness. Lol). We were all crushed when AIT for some reason decided to stop airing Passions. Contrary to what people think, the show wasn’t cancelled and actually ran from 1999 and had a proper ending in 2008. If you miss the show and want to catch up, you can go to NBC’s website and read up.
2. Sunset Beach
Sunset Beach actually premiered in 1997, 2 years before Passions did, but didn’t last as long. AIT hooked Nigeria up and and began airing it after they stopped airing Passions (probably so people wouldn’t start committing suicide due to awesome soap opera withdrawal). It followed the lives of the residents of Sunset Beach and the shenanigans they got involved in. The show was mostly known for its batshit crazy storylines like that time when all around evil woman, Virginia, stole a doctor’s sperm, drugged Vanessa and artificially inseminated her with a freaking TURKEY BASTER (LOL!) so Vanessa’s husband, Michael, would think she had been sleeping with the doctor. Or that time a couple of characters stole jewels from a statue of Mary only to find out that the jewels were cursed and whoever possessed them would eventually shrivel up and die. You guys, Sunset Beach might have been insane but it was pretty good. Also, how do cursed jewels end up on a statue of Mary? LOL
3. When You Are Mine (Cuando Seas Mia)
When You Are Mine was pretty much the first Nigerian foray into the world of Mexican telenovelas. It starred Silvia Navarro and Sergio Basanez as Paloma and Diego respectively who spent most of the show’s run just trying to be together but family members and other factors wouldn’t let them be. Who remembers Diego’s brother, Fabian and his INSANELY hot wife, Barbara? Or Diego’s slightly unattractive wife, Berenice, who seemed to sleep with everybody?? When You Are Mine was a very good show but what made it really great was the chemistry between the show’s leads. It was epic.
4. Second Chance
EVERYBODY watched Second Chance. Someone once said that if you went out on the street whenever Second Chance was on, there would be no one out and you would hear the show’s dialogue coming from the TV sets of every home. It was about this rich old man named Don Pedro that marries a much younger woman named Isabel and then promptly dies. Thing is, his soul doesn’t move on to the afterlife but goes into the body of a poor handsome man named Salvador. He goes to his house, gets a job as driver and slowly begins to uncover a shitload of secrets, truths and deception. This show was mostly popular because of how fine the main character, Salvador, was. This is pretty much how the conversation goes between people who watched it and people who didn’t.
Person 1: Did you watch Second Chance?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: AH! You missed gan! Salvador the main character was so fine!
A lot of people who didn’t watch the show now think that the only reason people liked it was because the lead was fine.
One question nobody bothered to ask was this, if Don Pedro’s soul went into Salvador’s body, even tho the real Salvador wasn’t dead at the time, where did the real Salvador’s soul go the entire time his body was possessed by Don Pedro’s soul?
Feel free to answer this in the comments.
If you can.
5. Catalina and Sebastian
This show was the first time Sergio Basanez and Silvia Navarro lit up the screen together (it was their undeniable chemistry on this show that led to them being cast again on When You are Mine). Catalina (Silvia Navarro) marries a rich man named Sebastian (Sergio Basanez) purely for his money but is given the shock of her life when she goes to the ranch he lives on after the wedding and finds out that he’s really just the ranch supervisor. In reality, he really is rich and is just testing her by forcing her to live the life of a poor woman. Eventually, Catalina starts to love him regardless of him being poor. If you haven’t seen it, you should.
