It’s a few weeks to Valentine’s Day and while the relationship people are prepping to steal the show again, it’s important to note that we’ve got fathers and sons, brothers and buddies, and a whole squad of men who deserve to celebrate their bromance on this day too.
I caught up with seven Nigerian men to hear their thoughts on being there for their fellow dudes on the iconic lovers’ day.
From the big bro who paid for his sibling’s cinema date to the dude planning to send an anonymous box to his heartbroken cousin, their stories will have you in varying degrees of “God when?”
Dewunmi *, 31
My elder brother would always buy gifts for my mum on Valentine’s Day. Started right when we were in secondary school. He’d save up his pocket money during the weeks leading up to the 14th. It was really cute. Fast forward to when he got into uni and got more pocket money, he started including me in his plans. He’d buy chocolates, perfumes or food for me and my mum on Valentine’s Day. It went on for some time until it just stopped. I mean, he still buys stuff for both of us, but he doesn’t put as much importance on Valentine’s Day anymore.
Jason*, 25
My cousin just got served breakfast, and I know he’s hurting even though he’s trying not to show it. He’d been with his ex for about three years, and I honestly thought he’d propose soon, but I guess life happens. I’ve watched him celebrate Valentine’s with her in the last three years, so I’ve just been wondering what the day will look like this year. Thankfully, it’s a work day and that might help him get his mind off things, but I also want to do something nice for him. I’m thinking dinner at one of these fancy spots on the Island, or I might just send him an anonymous gift box with a hidden love letter. LMAO.
Hassan*, 24
I have a WhatsApp group just to keep in touch with some of my friends and be there for each other. We’ve had a lot of wholesome conversations about toxic masculinity and how we should be able to do more for each other as bros. Last Valentine’s, we did a simple exercise in the group where we all sent voice notes saying nice things about each other. We plan to hang out this year sha, but if that’s not possible, we’ll send each other gifts.
Deji*, 29
Our last born started dating in January 2023. Since then, I’ve always thought to myself “Where this boy dey see money to fund relationship?” But I assumed his girlfriend understood his finances before saying yes. A few weeks to Valentine’s in 2023, I noticed little man was constantly in a mood around the house. He was also coming up with the weirdest money requests for things he had to pay for in school. It didn’t take long to figure out that he was trying to fleece us. So, I confronted him and gave him a pep talk before asking what he needed money for. He then said he wanted to do something for his GF for Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t like I didn’t know; I just wanted him to be free enough to ask. Two days to Val’s Day, I sent him ₦15k for a cinema date. I’m guessing he’s saved up enough for this year, but I still plan to send ₦15k. He doesn’t know this sha.
Tunde*, 40
My birthday is February 14, and it has added some colour to how I approach the date. Growing up, I didn’t make a fuss about my birthday. I was the kid who wanted to stay indoors and enjoy all the good treats with my family. This changed when I got into uni. My friends found it a little too exciting that my birthday falls on Valentine’s Day, so they always made me do something. Even when I tell them I don’t have money, they’d readily contribute and make sure we celebrate. So the tradition sort of stayed with me from uni. Now, my friends know that if every other thing fails on February 14, they can always show up for whatever Tunde* is doing for his birthday. And that’s the main reason why I now anticipate the day. Lots of brotherly love to go around.
Dapo*, 30
My dad celebrates me and my brothers every Valentine’s Day. It’s one of those things he does that makes me want to be a great dad too. I remember him taking my mum, my siblings and me out every Valentine’s Day when we were young. When it fell on a weekday, we missed school. It took me a while to stop seeing February 14 as another public holiday. Now that we’re all older, and some of my siblings are married, we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day as a family anymore. But one thing I know we’ll always get every February 14th is a text message from my dad saying how much he loves us.
Jerry*, 25
I moved in with my uncle after he lost his wife last year. His kids are abroad, so it’s only him in the house most of the time. I always get the sense that he feels lonely, especially during festive periods. He’s not the type that goes out a lot; he just stays in his study, reading books and newspapers. I wish I could take him out on Val’s Day, but it’s a work day and I’m not sure I’ll have the time. I’ll probably buy something nice for him. Would be nice for him to know someone cares.
READ ALSO: Nigerian Men on Planning Secret Valentine’s Day Treats for the Women in Their Lives
