Whenever a money conversation comes up  somewhere in Nigeria, there is that one person that’ll say something like “there’s money is where money is.” 

What you don’t know is, they’re telling you that they aren’t suffering (like the rest of us) because they are at least one of  the following things:

Social media influencer

You should know that the popular online influencers eat the most. To be like them and make this mulla quickly: grow your social media accounts, buy followers if you have to. The type of content you want to post is your concern, but you can take some cues from the spectacular business models of Asiwaju Lerry, Omotabra, Regha Daniel and VeryDarkMan.

You don’t care whether people love or hate you and your content. As long as engagements are rising and consistent, a brand will pay for your service. Be patient.

Banger boy

Well, to be a well-meaning banger boy. Sorry — a money making banger boy, pay for  Elon Musk’s blue tick on X and watch engagements from your viral tweets and other acts of “fooling” turn into cash.

At least, you’ll be able to afford meals and data plans to cook more bangers.

A prophet

You can be a Gen-Z man of God — the type that sees visions during big events like presidential elections and new year. Or would you like to be a politician’s favourite prophet?

You can also be an internet sensation like Oba Solomon. My friend, you’ll choke on TikTok gifts. Holy center!

See, if you can’t see visions, learn astrology and to help your scam bank.

A singer

I didn’t say become a rapper o. To eat faster in this climate, it’s singing that will get you there. If you can actually sing, it’s a plus for you. If your personality is chaotic, that’s the absolute best. Nigerians will be obsessed and put you on their heads for as long as you spark conversations, good or bad.

Abi you can’t see Portable’s boys, Youngyduu and Abuga, riding cars, getting plays and receiving bookings already? .

Politician

Civic education tells us politics is a way to get involved in the running of a government. But for many years in Nigeria, you talk politics and think about money and enriching yourself. If your political party is the ruling party, you won’t be hungry for the next eight years. Abi, I lied?

Hol’up! In case you missed the news about Burning Ram, the biggest meat festival happening in Nigeria on November 11th. Get your ticket and celebrate with other meat lovers.