Let’s not even cap; making friends as a grown man is hard. Between Nigeria’s wahala, capitalism struggles, and societal rules about how we should interact, Nigerian men of a certain age struggle to make meaningful friendships.
If you’re at the stage where you are looking to try anything to make new friends, then, sir, this article is for you.
Open a barbing salon
If you want something, you need to invest in it — even if that investment is a barbing salon at your junction. Barbing salons are safe havens for men to vent, let loose, and have some time away from the world. While it might seem like an over-the-top move to land friends, opening a barbing salon will introduce you to a wide range of men from all walks of life. You could literally hold a friend audition, and they wouldn’t even know.
Go back to school
Most men who talk about their oldest friendships often refer to the friends they made in secondary school or university. If the cast of Far From Home could “convince” us they were secondary school students, then look, you can do it too. But if going back to secondary school sounds crazy, there’s nothing wrong with going back to university to get a new degree and make new friends. Nothing builds friendships faster than a mutual fear of carryovers.
Stop calling every guy “Oga” or “Boss” and take time to know their names
Bruh. The number of “Oga”, “Chief”, and “Boss” you hear when men hang out around each other is wild. It’s like, “Do any of you have real names?” If you want to build a real connection with another man, you need to know the basics, like their actual name. If you left Nigerian men, they’d “Oga” each other to the grave.
Shoot friendship shots on social media
Desmond thought Collins was cool and shot a friendship shot on Instagram. Please, what’s stopping you from doing the same thing? Shame? Pride? Chelsea, come on now. If you’re willing to work to get someone’s attention on social media for knacks or a romantic relationship, what’s stopping you from putting the same level of effort into making male friends? Granted, a few guys might find it weird at first, but real guys will appreciate it. Just make sure you’re not being extra by liking their pictures from 2014.
FYI, LinkedIn is a social media platform too *wink wink*
Become more active in the church or mosque
A God-fearing partner is not the only person you can find in your place of worship. What happened to a God-fearing friend? What does it profit a man to have a godly relationship, but a friendship built on sin? Okay, maybe don’t answer that. You sha get the gist.
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Become a gym bro
The gym can be very intimidating, but when you really think about it, that space is also one of the best places to make a new friend. Even though everyone seems to be on a mission to outdo the next person in the gym, a certain level of vulnerability comes with the effort to be better at something regardless of how many kgs you’re lifting. Tap into that vulnerability. No one is asking you to become the annoying guy who won’t shut up in the gym, but try smiling or saying “hi” to other guys there once in a while. Who knows, you might move from gym bros to actual bros.
Date women who have cool brothers who don’t want to beat you up
Why kill one bird or relationship with one stone when you could easily kill two with one stone? Meeting a cute girl who rocks your world is great, but things get ten times better when this girl has a brother who could become your soulmate. Even if the romantic relationship fails, no rule says you can’t be best friends with your ex’s brother. If she really loved you, then she’d be happy for you.
Argue about Messi or Wizkid in social gatherings
The moment you hear Nigerian men arguing, and they start throwing the word “goat” around while mentioning “Wizkid” or “Messi”, then, sir, it’s time to pull up a chair and join that argument. There’s a high chance you’ll get insulted during the argument, but there’s also a high chance you’ll make a new friend regardless of which side of the argument you stack your chips on.
Join dating apps
If there’s anything we learnt from Edem and Chide’s My Bro story, it’s that men can become best friends with men they’ve hooked up with. It doesn’t always work, especially if you’re as straight as a ruler, but taking the lover-to-best-friend route isn’t that bad when it comes to friendship. To make this work, you must open your mind beyond sexual attraction and get to know the people you’re chatting with. It’s giving from guts to guys.
Read Zikoko My Bro and steal our subjects’ best friends
If you can’t find a best friend of your own, who says you can’t go around stealing other people’s best friends? Thankfully, Zikoko My Bro has many options you can select from. All you have to do is read their story, choose the best friend you want to steal and then get ready to throw hands with their current best friend. Nothing good comes for free.
Become your own best friend
I know everyone says this all the time, but who knows you better than you? To be the best friend you could possibly be to anyone else, you need to become your own best friend and show up for yourself. This is the friendship version of the corny, “No one’s going to love you if you don’t love yourself”, shit they say in romcoms. Love yourself, bro.
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