Valentine’s Day Should Be Cancelled: Here’s Why

We already know you have coconut head, and that’s why you chose to fall in love after all our warnings. But still forget about celebrating Valentine for any of these valid reasons.

You’re broke

Do you know how much a single rose is? Have you seen the price tags on those Valentine packages? Even boxers and singlets are now expensive. If you know what’s good for you, cancel your plans.

No cash

Anything worth doing is worth doing well. So except you don’t mind trekking to the date venue or washing plates when your bank’s network disappears again, better cancel everything and sleep.

No fuel

If you manage to get cash, you’ll spend most of it on transport for you or the gift you want to send.

Love is wicked

Brick and Lace warned you, but you didn’t hear. Burna Boy predicted it’d end in breakfast, nothing. Even Omah Lay broke commandments for love that still ended in tears. Carry your slippers and run.

It’s just overrated

Every February 14, the same thing. Flowers, babalawo red and fornication. Aren’t you tired?

Your partner is cheating

Your partner didn’t fall asleep last night because they were with their actual partner. So please, why are you planning a surprise for them? Don’t be surprised when they make up an excuse to spend Valentine with their real partner.

Election is coming

Elections are just a few weeks away, and you’re thinking about love? Do you even have your PVC? SMH.