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Your Uncle Tade who still gives you money for “biscuit” even though you are now doing NYSC
Aunty Lola who has twelve children below the age of ten and brings all of them to your house with her.
Aunty Bola that keeps asking you “when will you marry?”
Uncle Sege who stopped giving you money for biscuit as soon as you finished secondary school.
Your Aunty Funmi who has been living in London for eighteen years and has a tattoo at the back of her neck. She always tells you “wazz popping” whenever you greet her.
Cousin Titi that you went to UNILAG with but went abroad for masters for a year and now has accent.
Aunty Folu that keeps asking you questions that don’t concern her
Uncle Seyi that comes and stays in your house from December 1st to January 31st without informing anybody he was coming
Uncle Jide that just came back from the overseas for the first time in 20 years
Cousin Doyin that has two heads. The one your parents always tell you to be like.
Uncle Bayo who only shows up at your house on December 25th and January 1st to eat free rice
And best of all, all of your cool cousins who are the same age as you that you can go for all the Christmas rocks with.
