So you are minding your business, scrolling through Instagram during working hours (as you do) and you see another wedding hashtag:
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Ayyyyy weekend rocks don set!
“Ahn ahn! Is that not our former neighbours aunty’s, cousin’s brother in law’s daughter with a man?”
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Wawu! Small girl does your mother know you’re here?
“Ah see how she’s carrying her hand as if it’s paining her. Because of engagement ring?”
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Na wa o!
You do some more amebo to find out aso ebi colours.
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Which one is “pungent asexual turquoise” or “freckled pastel champagne” for goodness sakes! Ahn ahn?
Then you remember your cousin has one dress you can borrow like this.
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We move!!
That day of the wedding, you open Youtube and start copying one look your favourite vlogger created.
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#Facebeat #Yasss
You call your neighbour to help you take “unlooking” photos.
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“I didn’t know anyone was taking my picture that’s normally how I am”
You and your crew arrive in grand style:
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Baddest guys!
Only to see that there is entry tag.
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God is this how it all ends? What a betrayed.
Then you recognise one of the bouncers from a wedding you attended last week (and the week before that and 3 weeks before that).
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Look at God!
So you greet your guy and enter the place with confidence.
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Kent stop me abeg!
Because you don’t want to look like you don’t have home training you only eat a little … of each option on the menu.
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Balanced diet!
Photobooth dey? Time to give them your best poses!
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#WeddingFlow #WeddingStyle #WeddingRocks #AsoEbiBella #HimHer2016 #WeddingGuest.
Then the live band packs their load and your favourite DJ starts to do his thing.
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Gbedu time!
You gathering all the souvenirs you’ve collected:
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“I must carry my load go.”
Then over the next one week you upload different pictures from the same event till the next weekend when you can do it all again.
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Because every day for the guest, one day for the wedded.