All the Things That Involved Having A Gateman in Boarding School

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1. When you resume for the new term and the gateman is being too friendly

Excuse me Sir, wyd.

2. So you have to tell your parents to settle him

Please mummy just drop N1000 for him.

3. Because you are about to be a rascal for the whole term

It’s about to be lit.

4. But then your mum is not a corrupt person

And you know the whole term is going to be hell.

5. Your gateman when you are nearing the gate

Who goes there?!

6. So you and your squad have to go and think of a plan

We have to go out of school today by all means

7. When you try to approach your gateman to show him your exeat

Guy, calm down.

8. Trying to explain to him that you have an exeat to go out

Not under my watch.

9. So you have to start “toasting” him

Oga Samuel! The one and only! How is the family now?

10. So he starts cracking jokes and telling you his life story

Oh my God! Not today again.

11. When he is threatening to report you to the principal

Please abeg, what have I done?

12. And then he finally tells you “anything for the children”

So you could not say that one since.