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Christmas hampers are the ultimate tool for passive aggression. I mean, you just see the things in some hampers and you know the sender is trying to tell you to never contact them again.
So, if you get half of these in a hamper this year, you might want to stop disturbing the sender; because they don’t like you.
1. Fruitcake
Do NOT trust people that like raisins in their cake. Be wary of people that now send them as gifts.
2. Good Morning Cornflakes
Good Morning Cornflakes literally gets soggy at the mere sight of water.
3. Cowbell Milk
If they really liked you, they’d send you milk that actually gets diluted in water. Cowbell is not that milk.
4. Ajinomoto
Nah, if they hate you enough to send this, they might as well just sneak into your house at night and stab you.
5. Cabin Biscuits
See, everybody loves Cabin biscuits, but if it’s not that you’re resuming boarding school anytime soon, what’s the point?
6. Richoco
Milo or Bournvita, please. Anything else is really just rude.
7. Eva “Wine”
No really, what is non-alcoholic WINE?
8. Calendar
One question: WHY?
9. Glucose
Are you about to do inter-house sports? Tell that person to behave, please.
10. Top Tea
Really? REALLY??
11. Candles
They really just want you to burn your house down. Don’t trust them.
