What is a situationship?

So, how do you know you’re actually in a situationship with that your Nigerian “boyfriend”?
1. When you think you have found “the one”, then you realize you are just one of the shareholders.

Chai!
2. When you ask him “what are we?”

Oshey, Wale Adenuga.
3. When he sees you talking to another man after saying he doesn’t want anything serious.

Hay God!
4. His face, when you tell him you love him.

Ah! Chill small.
5. When he calls what you guys are doing “just talking.”

Talking ke? For a year? As per motivational speaker?
6. You, whenever someone asks you if you are single.

You are not even sure.
7. Him, introducing you: “Uhm! She is my…close friend.”

Ehn? Pahdin?
8. When you’re not sure if you are even allowed to be jealous.

Well, this is confusing.
9. When you tell him “do what you like” and he actually does what he likes.

WOW!
10. The pictures = How he treats you vs. The caption = What he tells people.

The worst.
11. Whenever he hears you mention anything about “the future.”

BYE!
12. You: “I’m on my period, but you can still come ove…”

Na wa!
13. You, waiting for it to become serious.

Good luck with that.
14. When his jazz finally clears from your eyes.

See my life.
15. Him, when you finally say you want to break up.

Ouch!