1. The unofficial ‘African time’ formula:
You’ll probably still be too early.
2. When you actually go for a Nigerian event on time.
Na me mess up.
3. When you get to an event one hour late and they are still “setting up.”
Are you joking?
4. What Nigerians mean when they say “I’m on my way”:
They have not left their bed.
5. What Nigerians mean when they say “I’m 5 minutes away”:
They are taking their bath, you’ll wait there.
6. When you go to an event late because ‘African time’ but it’s already over.
See betrayal.
7. When you want Nigerians to come by 9:00 so you tell them 7:00 so they’re 30 minutes early.
WINNING.
8. When someone tries to use ‘African time’ as an excuse for coming late.
It’s like you’re mad.
9. You, waiting for your friend that uses ‘African time’:
You’ll die there.
10. When your book for first flight and you’re still sitting in the airport by 3pm.
African time applies to airlines too.
11. When you order food online and it says ’30 minutes delivery’ but it’s already midnight.
God why.
12. When your tailor says your cloth will be ready in a week but…
The owambe has come and gone.
13. When money has entered your account but your bank is doing ‘African time’ to send your alert
Pay me what you owe me biko.
