1. When she looks at her phone as if it is trying to deceive her.

Mummy, your phone is not against you.

2. How she saves numbers on her phone:

They don’t even have time.

3. The kind of texts she sends you when you’re upstairs:

Hay God!

4. The kind of texts she sends you when you’re out with friends:

I’m coming home oh.

5. When she calls you to come and load her credit.

Stress.

6. The kind of Whatsapp BCs she sends:

Who even sent you this thing?

7. The kind of pictures she sends on Whatsapp:

Na wa.

8. When she calls you for a “short prayer”:

I don taya.

9. How she takes pictures:

Mama D Mama!

10. When she calls you to come and help her type a “short text”.

God, epp me.

11. Nigerian mothers and dual sim phones.

All. Of. Them.

12. When she calls you and you don’t answer.

I’m dead.

13. Her excuse, when you ask her why she didn’t answer her phone:

Mummy, it’s called a MOBILE phone for a reason.