1. You know that you will not meet light at home after a long day at work.
It’s such a bloody stretch.
2. And it’s so hot that you’re convinced that someone left the gates of hell open.
Like we are not suffering enough already.
3. When you’re a woman in Nigeria, everyone assumes that they can tell you what to do.
You cannot even drive in peace without a ring on your finger.
4. And blame you for being raped or kidnapped. It was how you were dressed and where you were walking.
Victim blaming is the new norm.
5. Nigeria imports everything but our exchange rate is nonsense and our salaries are even worse, so we can’t can’t buy anything anyway.
Please, help us.
6. The exchange rate is bloody, but your President’s response is “Well…”
“Those who can still afford it can afford it.”
7. Why should the President care? He hasn’t even spent a full three months in the country.
Bye!
8. Nigerians collectively can not come early. We even have a name for it – Nigerian time.
Fix your lives!
9. If you live in Lagos, half of your entire life is spent in traffic.
You’ve become one with the distance.
10. All customer service agents think they’re above doing their jobs – especially the ones in banks.
As if it’s not my money.
11. Nigerian politicians don’t even respect us enough anymore to tell intelligent lies.
They won’t even invent believable excuses.
12. People are stealing money yet everybody else is broke.. someone had $1 million in his soak-away!
In his soak-away!!!
13. The landlords want you to pay 2 years rent upfront. Like if you had that money you wouldn’t have built your own house.
Mscheww!
14. When you put something on your social media account and the entire Nigeria descends on you.
It does take a village. *rolls eyes*
15. NNPC only gets fuel to keep the country ‘wet’ for 2 weeks out of every month.
What in the entire hell?!
16. When you get credit alert and it is quickly followed by Stamp Duty charge or the ‘100 naira monthly fee + VAT’ charge from the bank.
It’s the stupidest policy in the world.
17. As an unemployed person, your biggest problem is work experience. Where will you get it from without a job?
But no one wants to listen.
18. Those waiters that will wait till you finish your food to let you know that POS is not working.
HAY GOD!
19. What are students supposed to eat now in school…other than indomie, now that Lassa fever won’t let you drink garri?
I don’t know too.
