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Is the oldest in his family
Your uncles always send their kids to your house for counseling and advice
He will tell you 100 proverbs before you get your allowance
2. The IJGB Wannabe Father
He has been to USA just once
He never ceases to bring it up in every convo
He thinks he is still young and popping at 67
3. The International Father
He is never around
He will give you gifts and dollars too
Everyone wants to get to his level
4. The Comedian Father
You will never catch him angry
He makes a joke out of everything
When you fail an exam, he will say “can you at least pass the salt on the table?”
5. The Social Father
Everybody invites him everywhere
He is always talking of joining politics someday
Will tell you it’s cool to bring your girlfriend home
6. The Shady Father
He is always angry
He jokes about using either you or your siblings for blood money
His wife is always begging him to go to church
7. The Posh Father
He never looks old
Your mum always keeps a watchful eye on his phone
He never beats you, just talks gently to you
8. The Strict Father
He has given you a 7PM curfew
You must marry only from your tribe
There is nothing like allowance increase in his dictionary
9. The Neighborhood Bigman Father
Throws an owambe every two weeks
He will pay your school fees and give you half of it for allowance
He will want to find a wife/husband for you himself
10. The Street Father
None of your teachers can touch you
He usually comes home late at night
He may have reset your destiny with a slap or two
