1. Whenever you see bus 5 coming.
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EVERYBODY SCATTER!!!
2. When you hear “Caution! Caution!! Caution!!!”
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Hay God! It’s all over.
3. When they start an announcement with “good news!”
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You already know you don’t care.
4. One hour after they call Prof. Aize Obayan to “round up”:
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It’s not over?
5. The doctor, when you go to health center with a broken leg:
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Na wa for you.
6. This difficult choice:
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Just let your pocket decide.
7. When they are denying exeats up and down but they approve your own.
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God is good.
8. How you know exam time has reached:
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You people should go to your halls, abeg.
9. When a non-student starts saying “I heard they don’t let you guys…”
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Oya say nonsense.
10. When Mario catches you ‘pairing’ at night.
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Ezz not wat it looks like, sir.
11. That time Pastor Ntia gingered everybody:
12. Whenever they say they want to do head count.
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Is this really necessary?
13. You at every single public lecture:
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Why are we even here?
14. When someone blocks you in front of your hall with “excuse me! Please, can you help me call…”
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Better leave my front.
15. “In a short while, we shall be rising up to pray.”
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Didn’t we just finish praying?
16. You, the first time you stabbed chapel service:
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Is this how I will go home?
17. When you go to the buttery and all they have is Hebron drink.
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What is this life?