1. When people ask where you’re from and you tell them you’re Nigerian…

What’s doing this one?

2. When people call you half-caste.

So I’m only half pure abi?

3. When you tell people you’re Yoruba/Igbo but they insist you’re Fulani.

Is it by force?

4. When someone says you’re beautiful only because you’re mixed race.

So Nigerians are not fine abi?

5. When someone keeps telling you they want mixed race babies by force.

Kuku go and buy them in Balogun market.

6. When people say all mixed race people are hot.

Ok oh, we have heard!

7. When people touch your hair and ask why a half-caste person like you has Nigerian hair.

As I’m now half Nigerian nko?

8. When everybody acts really nice to you because they believe you’re Oyinbo.

Who no like better thing?

9. When you can’t even complain about Nigeria’s issues because nobody believes you’ve lived in Nigeria all your life.

Na wa o!

10. When people say they can only date light-skinned girls/guys like you.

See this mumu.

11. When people say you’re forcing yourself to be Nigerian just because you don’t speak ‘phoney’.

Come and teach me how to speak now.

12. Nigerians, when they see you taking a Danfo or Okada.

See this one!

13. When people assume you have money because you’re mixed race but deep down you’re very broke.

Hay God!

14. When people see you with one of your parents and still ask if you’re really their child.

You don’t have sense.

15. When you tell people your name is Kanyinsola but they insist on calling you ‘Katy’.

Is it your name?

16. When people keep asking when you are going back to your home country.

When will you have sense?

17. When ‘woke’ people attack you for appropriating Nigerian culture.

Girl, if you don’t get… Featured image credit: Jupiterimages/Comstock