1. Your roommate that always sets irritating alarms but never wakes up to them.
Meanwhile all your eyes have opened oh!
2. Your “waka pass” friend asking you to buy their 50k aso ebi.
Do I even know you like that? My friend shift to the front jere.
3. Tax people that want to collect your whole salary and give you the change to manage.
Please all the tax I am paying what are you people using it to do?
4. NYSC that wants to stress you in the name of serving your fathers land.
Please me sef I want to serve my individual land you people cannot kill me!
5. The person that stops to buy garden egg on the road during rush hour and causes traffic.
I hope it gives you explosive diarrhoea!
6. The person that spends 20 minutes in front of the atm.
Are you browsing sir?
7. The waiter hoarding drinks and small chops at the wedding.
Is this one alright?
8. The bouncer that doesn’t want to let you enter the club.
Why now? Why?
9. The person blasting their horn behind you even though the traffic light is red.
Please jump over the car!
10. Made in Nigeria fashion designers that want you to use your whole salary to buy one blouse and half a pair of trousers.
The foreign one is there you will not kill me!
11. Your ex that keeps calling and texting you.
Kindly vacate my life, thank you.
12. Classmates that always remind teachers about assignments and tests.
For once!
13. Bosses that stroll into the office at 4pm and start piling work on your desk.
Don’t worry I will soon leave this work for you!
14. Family members that don’t mind their business.
If you mind your business I promise you won’t die.
15. People that shout “ride on pastor” after the service has already passed 3 hours.
I’m sure even the Holy Spirit has gone home for lunch but you want to keep us here by force.
