1. When someone calls your name and you and about 200 people turn around.
See wahala.
2. When you go somewhere new and you’re the only one there with the name.
It’s a miracle.
3. When you turn around whenever you hear your name but they are never ever calling you.
What is this life?
4. When they start annoyingly categorizing all of you like short Tobi, orobo Tobi, tall Tobi, wowo Tobi.
Call me short Tobi first, let me kill you.
5. When you just stop looking up whenever you hear your name.
Nobody should stress me, abeg.
6. You, looking at your parents wondering why they weren’t more creative when naming you.
You people sef.
7. When people give you a nickname by force to help them differentiate.
Oversabi.
8. When everyone starts using your surname as your first name because they don’t have energy.
Are you mad?
9. When you join social media and your name is always already taken.
How many Emeka Okafors are in the world please?
10. When people keep calling you by accident because they have like 20 Emekas on their phone.
You cannot save surnames, abi what?
