Since Elon Musk bought Twitter in October 2022, he’s made changes like Twitter Blue, paying creators and tweets showing the number of views. The only thing he hasn’t changed is the logo. Oh wait, even the logo didn’t survive his revamp. While I can’t match his wealth, I can definitely match his ability to shrink entire brands into one letter. Here we go. 

Palmpay = B

Bridgerton. Why? They will stand with you between the heavens and the earth. They will tell you where you are. When will you repay your loan?

GTB = G

G stands for gun because there’s no difference between those charges and armed robbery.

Instagram = M

IG is now one big marketplace. You’ll be scrolling through, looking for pictures of your peng people, but the wig and clothes ads won’t let you rest. 

Bigi = F

I’m sure there’s no flavour that Bigi hasn’t experimented with. The only one that’s left is N’abania.

Minimie = W

Apart from being a snack, it can also double as a weapon. The only thing that’s harder than minimie is convincing your mum that pressing your phone is not the reason for your sickness. 

Apple = I

Virtually all Apple products begin with an “I.” Well, apart from the one I can actually afford — apple juice.

Access Bank = M

Money? Mobile banking? No amigo, it’s Marathon. Why be just a bank when you can be one that organises the biggest marathon in Nigeria?