If there’s one thing we’ve learned in the past two days, it’s that the truth is fast going out of style.
Now, if you can’t beat them, the next best thing to do is join them. So, if you want to become a world class liar and have everyone eating off your plate of deceit, we have some tips for you.
Practice on yourself
How do you want to go out into the world to spread false information and half-truths if you can’t believe what you’re saying? Spend a daily minimum of 30 minutes lying to yourself, and we promise that when you take the bad character outside, everyone will believe you.
Believe in your story
It’s only a lie if you say it is. As far as you’re concerned, your story is the only truth that matters, so you have to believe every word of it. You might need to be a little bit delusional for this, but there’s nothing you can’t do if you put your mind to it.
Come out with your story first
Yes, the first person to call the police might not win the case, but it will give you a headstart ,allowing you to control the narrative. So, if you want to spin believable lies, make sure you do it before the truth comes out and people have the time to analyse and compare both stories.
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Argue your way through
It’s not over until it’s over. If you haven’t been caught in your lie, then you better stick to it. If people want to come and tell you you’re lying, wear them down with more lies and half-truths.
Get yes men
You’ll need a group of people who also believe the lies you tell. They’ll keep you grounded and help you fight the people who have the audacity to call out your lies or simply not believe them.
Stick to your story
The only thing you need to know here is that you’re right. Anyone who feels otherwise and wants to shout, “I have receipts” can hug a transformer and/or marry it.
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Have a backup plan
Just in case you overdo the lies and someone decides to throw your ass in jail for libel and the likes, we suggest you put some money aside for bail or a lawyer. Don’t say Zikoko did nothing for you.