How to Guarantee Your Status as the Ultimate Third Wheel

We all have that one couple that we consciously or unconsciously third-wheel for. If you love the couple enough to want to make third-wheeling for them permanent, then you should try these tips. Before you know it, you’ll successfully become a comfortable third-wheel in their relationship.

Invite yourself when they don’t invite you

To be successful and comfortable as a third wheel, you need to learn how to just show up for things. It doesn’t matter if you’re invited or not. What matters is that you’re there. It’s the thought that counts.

Create a group chat

There are very few ways to communicate effectively with two other people. One such way is a group chat. That way, you’ll be able to communicate with your two favourite people simultaneously, and they can always make plans with you in mind.

Sync calendars

When all three of your calendars are synced, you’ll know their plans in advance. If they start avoiding you, just show up to their meeting and ask them why.

Create a shared bank account

Joint accounts are so boring. That’s why you should take it up a notch as a third wheel and register the three of you for a shared bank account. When their finances are tied to yours, they’ll always have you on their mind.

Move in with them

It is even better to rent a one-bedroom apartment and ask them to move in with you. Not only will you share a room, but make sure you also share the bed. If you’re lucky, that kind of proximity means you can third-wheel in their dreams.

Fraternise with their parents

If you’re friends with their parents, you’ll also be invited to family events. Their family is your family, and there’s no safe space for your favourite couple to hide.

Buy an SUV

The SUV is a family car, and since the three of you are pretty much a family at this point, why not? If you don’t have the money for an SUV, sell their cars and buy it. They’ll appreciate it in the long run.

Take a loan in their name

When they find out that your disappearance means that loan sharks will be threatening the lives of the people they love, they’ll keep close tabs on you. In fact, they’ll be the ones doing all the reaching out.

Have a child with them

Children are a lifelong commitment, so having one together will keep you together forever. If people have children to fix their terrible marriages, why can’t you have one to cement yourself in the life of the people you love?

Become their next of kin

If anything happens to them, you’ll be the first to know. It doesn’t matter if they have parents. Their parents can’t love them the way you do.

Always bring your chair along

So that if they’re on dates and there are only two chairs set up for them, you don’t have to make a fuss. Just pull out your chair and have a great time.

Help all the other third-wheels enter a relationship

To ensure you’re the only third wheel, ensure that every other person who can be a third wheel is in a relationship. If they’re in a relationship, they can leave yours alone.