Exams are annoying. Why can’t we just say we understand, and the school believes us? Except they’re not confident in their teaching, why do they need to test our knowledge?

It is this lack of logic on the part of schools that led us to almost never read ahead of exams. Let’s take a trip down memory lane. 

When it’s time to attempt the objective questions

The perfect chance to use the ancient art that’s been passed down from generation to generation — mini mini mani mo.

When you see the exact topics you skipped in the theory section

The topic you ignored coming back to haunt you is a tale as old as time. 

When the next instruction is “based on your answer to question 1, answer the following”

You don’t even know the answer to question 1. It’s every student’s nightmare.

You look around, and everyone is firing on

It’s just you, your brain and your God (if you believe in one) that’ll help you out of this ditch.

When the teacher corrects a question, but you already answered it confidently

Any score wey your eye see, just take am like that.

He looks at your script and says, “I want to believe you people are reading the question well”

This is the biggest indicator that the highest you can score in the exam is 13/60. 

“Use the diagram below to answer the questions,” but you’ve never seen that diagram in your life

Is it an animal or an inanimate object? Who knows.

Five minutes more

Your mostly empty brain tries to scribble as much as it can as quickly as it can.

After the exam, someone asks you answered to the question on the back page

I’m sorry, what? There were questions at the back?