That Time I Disgraced Myself At A Fashion Boutique

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So a few days after I got paid I was feeling like a boss.

Biggest babe!

And I decided that I was going to treat myself to a shopping spree.

Because I’ve got money!

So I walked into a store that I had admired from afar with confidence and pride.

Swaggiest baby girl in the nation!

I looked at the prices of one or two things and realised that I could really go on a spree.

YESSSS!!

So I picked up about 12 items and then went to the dressing room to do my own personal fashion show.

I was looking too fabulous.

Because I’m such a hottie almost all the clothes fit me really well.

I mean what did you expect.

When I came out I caught 2 of the sales girl giving me a side eye.

Ahn ahn?

I started to get the vibe that they felt their shop was too good for me.

Ok. Very what? Very good

I knew I was going to show them.

Because shame to bad people!

So I carried my items with me and cat-walked again to the till.

Because I’m that chick!

The sales girl started checking out the clothes and that’s where my problem started.

Sigh!

All of a sudden I started seeing big big numbers on the till.

Eh!

Apparently the first outfit I had picked was from the 70% off sales rack.

Ah!

As I figured this out the number on the till was still rising.

Oh my God!

So I started forming like there were things I didn’t notice about the clothes.

Yes oh!

First I said I wanted to know if they had one dress in a different colour.

“Maybe aquamarine fondant yellow or burnt iced red.”

Then I said one suit had an odd fit.

“The trousers are a bit too snug around my hips.”

Then I said one skirt was too short.

“I just don’t want to be indecent.”

Meanwhile the other sales girls were looking at me like:

What a shame!

I ignored them and continued my nonsense till I had reduced my items to two..

Yup!

And the only reason I didn’t go down to one was so I wouldn’t be such a blatant cheapskate.

Before those sales girls start laughing at me.

So I happily handed over my card only for it to be declined!

Hay God!

They tried again, and the same thing happened.

Why me?

I just had to mumble excuses and run out of there with whatever shame I had left.

Very fast!

And till date I have not been able to go back into that store!

Because once bitten, twice shy.