Inside Life | Page 8 of 126

Talk True: Are Cooking-Gas-Powered Generators Safe?

Talk True is a Zikoko limited series for medical myth-busting. For this special episode, we’re considering the safety of the newest invention in Nigeria since the fuel subsidy removal: cooking-gas-powered generators

In his inaugural speech on May 29, 2023, President Bola Tinubu bluntly announced plans to remove fuel subsidy which would inevitably result in the increase of fuel pump prices.

As if we didn’t have enough problems

What followed was acute fuel scarcity nationwide, panic-buying and an eventual increase to over ₦500 per litre in June. Fuel prices have risen AGAIN in July to over ₦600 per litre. One way Nigerians are dealing with the new cost is by reducing dependence on fuel, a situation which birthed the conversion of fuel-powered generators to gas-powered ones.

Nigerians have converted their petrol generator to now run on gas. 2kg gas running for 8 hours??? Omo. pic.twitter.com/aZD4JMy4Wa
— Dami’ Adenuga (@DAMIADENUGA) June 15, 2023

Some users claim these generators are more economical, but is it really safe for use? Kay Oyewole, a safety professional, provides answers.

How is the conversion from fuel to gas possible?

“Petrol generators may be the right term for what we commonly use in Nigeria. Generators generally have a system that allows them to burn fuel to generate usable electricity. ‘Fuel’ in this situation can be petroleum, natural gas (methane), or the one typically used for cooking: Liquefied Petroleum Gas (LPG)”, Kay says.

It’s not a complicated process to convert a petrol generator to one that runs on cooking gas. In fact, the only change required is the generator’s carburettor.

“Using a gas carburettor does the trick. Some may decide to change it entirely to gas, while others use a converter that allows you to switch from fuel to gas.”

Is it safe to use?

Kay confirms that gas-powered generators are safe to use but emphasises the need to observe all safety precautions.

“Make sure that any alterations are made by qualified technicians, rather than just anyone claiming to know how to do it. Users also need to properly maintain the gas cylinder just as they would the ones used for cooking.

It’s important to test the gas cylinders every five years for usability, replace the accessories (like valves, hose, regulators and clips) every 2-3 years and watch for leaks. If there are no gas leaks, the converted gas generators are absolutely safe.”

Feel free to carry go

But is it actually economical?

Even though the price of cooking gas dropped recently, the difference may not be significant. Kay doesn’t feel optimistic about whether the use of gas for fueling generators will be cheaper than fuel in the long run.

“It may turn out to be cheaper, considering the recent fuel prices, but it might not be a significant amount. I’ve seen people claim gas-powered generators last longer for fewer kilograms of LPG, but it also depends on individual use. More research needs to be done on that. But of course, if there’s even a small chance of saving money, especially with how inflation is these days, it’s a welcome option.

Anything to save the coins

In terms of environmental friendliness, though, LPG is a better fossil fuel than petrol because of its reduced emissions and lower levels of nitrogen oxides.” Kay notes.

The takeaway

Cooking-gas-powered generators are safe to use as long as a qualified technician has modified them properly and ensured that there are no gas leaks. As to whether they’re cheaper than using petrol, the jury’s still out.

NEXT READ: Talk True: Does Eating Beans Actually Make You Tall?

Tife Oni

July 20, 2023

Inside Life

cooking gas, Fuel Subsidy Removal, gas generators, Nigerians
Scam Victims POV: A Guide to Dealing With Nigerian Artisans

Reality star, Vee Iye, recently had the police arrest a plumber who’d been scamming her. Apparently, he’d turn off the control of her water supply then collect money and pretend to offer solutions for a “faulty pump”.

Some Twitter NG users are saying involving the police is extreme, but if you’ve been played before by Nigerian artisans, you’ll know that it can cost a lot to be taken for a fool. You might learn a thing or two from the experiences of these scammed victims.

Never pay before the service

“My DSTV dish was faulty, and I found an installer to help fix it. The guy seemed cool-headed, so I felt I was in good hands. He needed about ₦8k to buy some materials, and his workmanship fee was ₦2000. I don’t know why, but I just gave him the whole ₦10k because ‘cool-headed guy’. He came back with the materials, tried to fix the dish but couldn’t. This guy left and didn’t show up for another four days. He wasn’t picking up my calls and even when he did, it was lies. I knew I messed up by paying in full beforehand. Never again.”

Don’t leave them at the workstation

“Generator repairmen have really shown me pepper in this Lagos. But it wasn’t until I secretly watched one while he was working that I knew I’d been getting played for a while. This man threw a part inside his bag, and I even saw him pour from my petrol keg into a plastic container he came with. I went back up, and as expected, he said he had to buy something that was faulty. I asked him to drop what he stole from the gen. He tried denying, but when I mentioned the petrol bit, he knew he had been caught. The next guy that came, I stayed with him the entire time he was fixing the gen. Nigerian artisans are a mess.”

Ask multiple sources if it involves buying faulty parts

“I always seek a second opinion once I start hearing, ‘We have to buy this,’ or ‘That part is faulty’. I’ve learnt that it’s a ploy for them to get extra money for a part they probably have lying around in their workshops. Sometimes, they also cut deals with the traders at the market. Bring customer for me, and get x amount. Just some weeks ago, this generator guy said I had to buy a ₦75k engine for my gen, and that it was the only solution. I called someone else to check, and he fixed it for ₦25k. We didn’t buy any engine.”

Insist on seeing their previous work

“Sometime in 2022, I had an urgent owambe and my tailor was too busy to fit me into her schedule. I went with another tailor recommended by a friend and purposely picked a simple style to avoid stories, but this lady still messed it up. I typically spend a lot of time checking out a tailor’s social media page before patronising, but in this case, I skipped that part because it was urgent.”

Avoid if they don’t have a permanent address or workspace

“I’ve always had an electrician who helps with fixing stuff in the house. I only need to call him and he’d show up. This one time, my bedside fridge was faulty, and he said he couldn’t fix it in the house. He carried it to his workshop and was supposed to be back in two days. By the third day, I didn’t hear from him, but I waited another day before calling. His number wasn’t going through and even when it rang, he didn’t pick up. That was when I realised I didn’t even know his shop. I went to a street where I’d seen him a couple of times, but when I described him, they said he didn’t have a shop around. Apparently, he only comes to hang out in the area and leaves when he has jobs. He showed up with the fridge after a week and explained that he was sick.”

Watch and learn what you can when they’re working

“My gen wasn’t supplying electricity, and I called my ‘reliable’ gen guy to come check it out. After running his diagnostics, he said it’ll cost ₦35k to repair. I didn’t have enough cash and had to borrow to pay him. When he returned, he just coupled the gen and turned it back on. I allowed it to work for a while before switching it off, but this gen didn’t come on when I tried using it the next day. Called the guy again, and he fixed it, but it stopped working after two days. At this point, I checked the gen myself and went to the market in search of the faulty part. I got there and realized it was just ₦1k. This gen guy came back and was shocked to see the gen working. He had the audacity to tell me he had to change something worth ₦22k in the gen else the problem will persist.”

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 18, 2023

Inside Life

artisans, Nigeria, Nigerians
Who Is Eligible? All We Know About Tinubu’s ₦8k Palliative So Far

President Bola Tinubu has made moves to ease the effects of the recent fuel subsidy removal on Nigerians, especially those from low-income households.

Since the announcement, many Nigerians have had questions and opinions, but here’s all we know about the president’s latest initiative.

Why is Tinubu introducing this?

The fuel subsidy removal saw a jump in the price of petrol to around ₦500 per litre and this has affected the cost of living of citizens. President Tinubu is introducing the payment of ₦8000 to ease the financial burden on these families.

Who will benefit from the payment?

President Tinubu’s ₦8k palliative is specifically targeted at 12 million poor and low-income households in Nigeria.

Where will the money come from?

President Tinubu wrote the Nigerian Senate, seeking the approval of an $800 million borrowing request from the World Bank.

“Please note that the federal executive council led by President Muhammadu Buhari approved an additional loan facility to the tune of $800 million to be secured from the World Bank for the National Social Safety Net programme,” the president’s letter read in part.

How will the money be disbursed?

The ₦8000 monthly palliative will be disbursed through the National Social Safety-Nets Coordinating Office (NASSCO), a government agency that oversees the “delivery of targeted transfers & livelihood supports to extreme poor & vulnerable households in Nigeria.”

The money will be transferred to beneficiary bank accounts and mobile wallets.

How long will it be paid?

According to President Bola Tinubu’s request letter to the Nigerian Senate, the proposed ₦8000 palliative will be paid monthly for six months.

What are Nigerians saying?

Though targeted at poor and low-income earning families, Tinubu’s ₦8k palliative plan has already stirred mixed reactions from Nigerians with some people tagging it as an attempt to “divert public funds.”

The palliative measure is devoid of reality on ground. They ought to have matched the global absolute minimum poverty threshold of $1.90 per day (in PPP) or even go higher if they’ care about poor’s welfare. The N8000 gives 267(<50 cents) per day. So after 6 months what next?
— JSBabangida, FMNES (@JSBabangida) July 16, 2023

This N8000 monthly palliative looks harsh. More like a Greek gift. That will be N2000 per week and N281.75k per day for each family.
Let me run to experts for family planning or planning for the family. Whichever way, it's about family and planning pic.twitter.com/QSHNzUNRZD
— ismail aniemu (@ismailaniemu) July 14, 2023

Tinubu is seeking supplementary budget spending of N819 billion from NASS.

While your overfed Reps will receive N70 billion as their own palliative, N8000 ONLY will go to hungry Ronu Families for 6 months. That’s a meager N48,000 to beggars.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? 💃💃👏
— NEFERTITI (@firstladyship) July 13, 2023

You're talking down and abusing the FG because of the N8000 palliative but your account details are littered all over social media BEGGING for N2k.

Rest na
— 𝕊𝕚𝕣 𝕃𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕦 𝕆𝕗𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕝 (@Sir_Lablu) July 14, 2023

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 17, 2023

Inside Life

N8k palliative, Nigerians, Palliatives, Tinubu
School Might Be a Scam, but Not if You’re Nigerian

If you’ve experienced Nigerian lecturers and universities teach stuff you’ll never use in real life, you might agree with the widely popular “school na scam” slang.

However, as a Nigerian, you simply can’t do without school. Here’s why.

You’ll be poor

This is Nigeria, where degree holders still earn ₦80k. What kind of chance do you think a secondary school certificate holder has?

Not everyone will blow as an entrepreneur or musician

If you don’t succeed at being the next WizKid or Dangote, at least you can still dust your certificate and enter the labour market. If not, refer back to my first point. Like the Yorubas say, “There’s more than one road to the ~~bank~~ market”.

Two words: Nigerian parents

Think about it. Which mouth do you want to use to tell your parents you want to drop out? Even if you think school is a scam, they don’t. And they’re always right. Better carry your book.

You can delay adulting for a bit

If you deep it, ASUU strikes are merely protecting you from the inevitable. At least, you can say you’re a student and attract helpers much longer. Once you drop “student” from your name, it’s over.

And even make money

Lie that you haven’t used school as a front to get more money from your parents before. It’s giving, “We need to pay Photosynthesis fee”.

You might actually learn something

Your luck can shine and you might actually use your education and degree to blow in the future. How will you know if you don’t try?

It could help you achieve the Nigerian dream

And by “Nigerian dream”, I mean japa. Now that countries everywhere are banning Nigerians from getting vacation visas, efiko scholarship visas may be your only hope.

NEXT READ: How Nigerians Deal With Realising They’re Underpaid

Tife Oni

July 17, 2023

Inside Life

Funny, Nigerian Schools, Nigerian university students, Nigerians, work
Zikoko’s Weekly Roundup: Ajibola Odusanya Pays Ex-lover £17,100 Debt

The Good

BBNaija’s Frodd and wife chioma expecting first child

Well, what better way to step into the BBNaija week than news of a soon-to-arrive grandbaby for Big Brother? Congrats to the parents-to-be.

Benjamin Mendy cleared of rape, attempted rape charges

Family, friends, and Manchester United fans are relieved on Mendy’s behalf as a jury found him not guilty of both charges. It’s unclear what his next move will be.

NDLEA announces nationwide crackdown on recreational use, sale of nitrous oxide

NDLEA thinks balloon users need to chill and we’re with them on this one because the youths have to be alive and well to save Nigeria.

Ajibola Odusanya clears £17,100 debt owed to ex-lover

Twitter NG (Naija and UK branches) stayed on Ajibola Odusanya’s neck until he paid every last penny owed to his ex-lover, Olamide. The UK-based lady confirmed receipt of £17,100 and that’s that on that the Ajibola Odusanya episode.

DSS Charges Emefiele to court

This is music to the ears of Nigerians who especially faced tough times during Emefiele’s harsh financial policies. Weirdly, he’s being charged with the illegal possession of firearm.

The bad

Seychelles says ban on Nigerian tourists is linked to drug trafficking, fraud

The Seychelles government finally answers Nigerian passport holders wondering why they’ve been banned from visiting: an increase in drug trafficking and fraudulent activities.

Tinubu proposes N8k palliative to cushion effect of subsidy removal

Jagaban needs to be for real because what is ₦8k going to do for an average family in today’s Nigeria? Coming from the man that wants the poor to breathe, LOL.

The what’s going on

Bella Smurda, OdumoduBlvck attacked during appearance in LASU

Isn’t it every university’s dream to have blown alumni come back and perform? LASU students clearly can’t relate because they turned Poco Lee’s concert upside down. Bella Shmurda and OdumoduBlvck couldn’t perform due to alleged disruption from cultists. The school management, however, dismissed the claims and said that excited students caused the uproar.

FG releases official portrait of Remi Tinubu

We have questions. Where do we hang this? In our living room, offices, banking hall, restaurants or bedroom?

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 17, 2023

Inside Life

entertainment, Nigeria, Nigerians
What If Your Birthday Isn’t Your Birthday: A Case For Not Celebrating It

Let’s talk about birthdays.

It’s tradition. People set one day aside to celebrate the day they were born. It sounds like absolutely normal practice, and we’ve become used to it.

But I don’t celebrate birthdays.

Alright, let me rephrase — I don’t celebrate my birthday.

Source: Zikoko Memes

This has nothing to do with religion — one of the most common reasons for not celebrating birthdays. I’ve just never been gingered to celebrate a day that marks my birth. I see people celebrate theirs — my friends plan whole hangouts and parties just to — and I absolutely support the dedication. It’s amazing to see, but I’m far too lazy for all that.

Source: Zikoko Memes

I don’t do birthday cakes either. Although I’ll finally buy myself one on my next birthday just to know what it’s like, I’ll still hole up in bed, wondering what I’ve made of my life. At least, I’ll be able to literally have my cake and eat it.

Source: Zikoko Memes

But this article isn’t about why I don’t celebrate birthdays, it’s about why you do, or shouldn’t.

The first issue is how can you celebrate the day when you have no way of knowing you were born on that specific day. You just have to take everyone’s word for it. You could’ve been born three months earlier for all you know. How do you know you’re not celebrating it on the wrong day?

Source: Zikoko Memes

There’s also the small issue of the kind of child you are. There are three kinds of children in this world: the good, the bad and the adopted.

You actually have no proof your parents are your parents.

Source: Zikoko Memes

And if you were adopted then it’s unlikely your birthday is real.

The general idea behind birthdays is that you’re celebrating being a year older.

Why are you celebrating getting older? In a few years, you’ll be weak and frail. Do you really want to celebrate the coming back pain?

Source: Zikoko Memes

You’re managing your back and still spend weeks planning a birthday. You’ll turn event decorator, MC — and in some cases, chef — and still be the birthday celebrant. It’s too much stress, in my not-so-humble opinion.

Source: Zikoko Memes

You’re simply one year closer to death. Why are you celebrating that?

To take a leaf out of my dead great-grandma’s playbook, witches and wizards abound, and celebrating your birthday simply reminds them you’re alive. The best way to avoid your village people is to go under the radar, yet you want to organise a concert for them to convene?

Source: Zikoko Memes

I’m not trying to be a party pooper. I just want to open your eyes to all possibilities. I still believe everyone should celebrate their birthdays anyway. If not for anything but because it’s another full year you’ve survived Nigeria.

Olayoyin Olorunmota

July 15, 2023

Inside Life

Funny, Nigeria, Nigerians
Everything We Know About Ajibola Odusanya’s Fraudulent Past and £20,400 Debt

On Wednesday, July 12, 2023, a UK-based Nigerian lady Olamide (@olly_ade) in a Twitter post, cried out about £20,400 allegedly owed to her by an ex-lover, Ajibola Odusanya. It turns out Odusanya has had prior run-ins with other people over the past few years.

Who is Ajibola Odusanya?

Ajibola’s Twitter bio says little about him but a search of his full name on Google returns a string of articles showing that he was arraigned in court for fraud-related cases in March 2021. A similar search on Twitter returns with several call-outs from individuals he scammed.

According to information shared by one of his victims, @sirjarus, Ajibola schooled in the United Kingdom and once landed a job in an investment management firm. “His profile and brilliance could get him a decent finance career in corporate Lagos.”

Very brilliant young guy. Schooled in the UK. Solid profile that got him a job in a nice investment management firm in Lagos (before he was sacked).

His profile & brilliance could get him a decent Finance career in corporate Lagos. I don’t know why he chose this path of…
— J9 (@SirJarus) July 13, 2023

Where did it all start?

On July 12, 2023, Olamide, a UK-based Nigerian lady who was dating Ajibola before things turned sour shared a tweet, in which she asks “How can such a young guy be so cold, callous, vindictive, arrogant and lack empathy so much?”. This was followed by a staggering revelation that Ajibola owes her £20,400.

https://twitter.com/olly_ade/status/1679151477779054594?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

In a different tweet, Olamide claims Ajibola had been evading payment and coming up with several excuses to buy time. She, however, soon realised he was “taking her for a fool.”

https://twitter.com/olly_ade/status/1679152465743351809?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

And accuses him of living large while she struggles financially.

https://twitter.com/olly_ade/status/1679153008880353281?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

In a follow-up tweet, she noted that everyone she’s opened up to has wondered how she could shell out £20,400 to a man within one month of dating.

https://twitter.com/olly_ade/status/1679154757389242372?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

Netizens poke holes

Shortly after pouring out her mind on her TL, Olamide’s post made it into public discourse, with many Twitter users trying to understand the rationale behind lending so much money to a lover in such a short while.

Why will you borrow anyone £20,000 talk more of a man you just met. 💀💀💀
— Alhaja Ego Oyinbo💷💶💵 (@zexzy_intrepid) July 13, 2023

She, however, had WhatsApp chat evidence to back up her claims.

https://twitter.com/olly_ade/status/1679435585063190532?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

Love hinged on deceit and betrayal

According to her, she and Ajibola entered into a relationship when she was just 23 and willing to give her all. In her words, “She trusted him beyond human comprehension.”

https://twitter.com/olly_ade/status/1679249009674788866?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

Four years before she met Ajibola, Olamide had been saving heavily with the hopes of one day making a down payment for a house, but she trusted him enough to lend him all she’d saved.

https://twitter.com/olly_ade/status/1679299696450326530?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

A trail of fraudulent pasts

In April 2019, a Twitter user, @osekita, shared pictures of Ajibola on the platform, while accusing him of fraud. @osekita said Ajibola’s attempt was unsuccessful but accused him of scamming other victims and “changing identity frequently”.

Ds is ajibola odusanya a very terrible heartless scammer extremely nice & kindly disposed initially will turn very very deadly & dangerous when u do not fall for his scam he has scammed quite a number of people on Twitter He came after me but failed! Changes identity frequently! pic.twitter.com/Sl0Ex08lzN
— #DERANGED HOPELESSNESS #NOTRENEWED #PRAYFORNIGERIA (@Osekita) April 21, 2019

In August of the same year, Twitter user, @despatraa shared a tweet hinting at her experience with Ajibola and how a “borrowing man” is a red flag.

Any man I’m involved with that’s borrowing any amount of money from me , I’m running . Ajibola Odusanya taught me well already
— des 🍂 (@despatraa) August 28, 2019

These accusations were followed by Ajibola’s arraignment in court in March 2021, where he faced a two-count charge of fraud and theft. He landed in court after allegedly defrauding two friends of ₦880,000. Ajibola pleaded not guilty to both offences. A Chief Magistrate, Mrs O.O. Oshin, granted him bail in the sum of ₦250,000 with one surety in like sum and adjourned the case.

@despatraa returned in January 2022. Her message was simple: “Please, run hard from Ajibola Odusanya. He’s a scammer.”

This bastard is still playing these foolish games.

Please run hard from Ajibola Odusanya.

He’s a scammer.
— des 🍂 (@despatraa) January 24, 2022

Another victim, @teinm, took to Twitter in November 2022, tagging the Public Relations Officer (PRO) of Lagos State Police command, Ben Hundeyin. @teinm claimed Ajibola duped her of over ₦400k.

@BenHundeyin one Ajibola Omoyosola Odusanya duped me of over 400k. How and where can I report this?
— Teinm Young (@Teinm) November 28, 2022

A video currently making the rounds on the internet captures a young man, who identifies himself as Ajibola Odusanya, confessing to carting away ₦420k.

https://twitter.com/omofs_o/status/1679431049837703169?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

@detoke on Twitter claims the last time Ajibola was locked up for scamming people, his mum said, “They should leave him to die there and feed his body to the dogs.”

The last time he scammed people and they locked him up, his mum said they should leave him to die there and feed his body to the dogs. You know how frustrated a Nigerian mother must be to say that to her son? That’s how much this wereh boy has frustrated the poor woman.
— Àtóké✨✨ (@detoke__) July 13, 2023

More victims speak up

In light of Olamide’s callout, more allegations have sprung up from Twitter users who have had run-ins with Ajibola in the past.

Sir Jarus, a real estate business mogul, details three encounters with Ajibola and how he didn’t fall for the third which would have had him lose thousands of pounds.

This thing is real. Jibola sabi talk sha.

The only one I didn’t fall for was the day he called me during Covid (when there used to be all manner of screening protocols at the airports) and said his brother just arrived at Lagos Airport and he needed to send money to him. But he… https://t.co/Q5XvYMxPLF
— J9 (@SirJarus) July 13, 2023

In a WhatsApp chat with Jarus, Ajibola begs for forgiveness, admits his greed and offered to refund the money.

We met on Twitter 3 years ago. I saw from your engagements of my tweets that you were a brilliant young man working in a decent firm and you had almost everything needed to do well (schooled in the UK, young, brilliant etc)

I began to take you as mentee the way I do to… pic.twitter.com/9lLo6RIRfe
— J9 (@SirJarus) April 12, 2023

Jarus claims there’s a WhatsApp group of Ajibola’s victims.

Welcome to the Association of Victims of Ajibola Odusanya 😀

There is actually a Whatsapp group of his victims, I just didn’t join

Boy used mentee kinikan to enter me and I took him under my arms here – from brilliant comments on TL, to my DM to phone talk. He used “egbon” to… https://t.co/sW8pMcWrRD
— J9 (@SirJarus) July 13, 2023

Another lady, @zeechy, claims Ajibola has also scammed her friend. She shares screenshots of an alleged conversation with him, where he asks for an item to be paid for with a promise to refund the money spent. In a different portion of the conversation, Ajibola says, “He’s sorry for everything.”

nigga has scammed my friend as well, just know this man is playing with you all on that space pic.twitter.com/HgK5KGOL5m
— Ezichi (@zeechy__) July 13, 2023

Ajibola’s version of the truth

In a Twitter Space that was held on July 13, Ajibola admitted to Olamide’s allegations but accuses her of being unable to “keep track of her own stories.”

He categorically states that he took money from Olamide but didn’t scam her, and plans to pay her what she is owed. It was also agreed upon that the total amount owed was £17,100. Ajibola called for another Space to be held on Monday, July 17, by which time he would have repaid Olamide’s money.

YOU GUYSSSS. This is crazy. Crazy audacity. This is a thief talking. pic.twitter.com/KKUtBqqIW5
— Aditi Ogbenyeanu. (@NwaBabyOne) July 13, 2023

Resolutions

In another Twitter Space hosted by user @TheVawulence, UK-based Nigerian lady, @oluwablanco, offered to help Olamide collect her money from Ajibola.

OLAMIDE STOP TALKING DM ME!! THAT MONEY WILL ENTER YOUR ACCOUNT IN 24 HOURS #oraclechamber
— BLANCO BABY 🍶 (@oluwablanco) July 13, 2023

https://twitter.com/oluwablanco/status/1679576845472219136?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

Ajibola met up with a Nigerian man, Mr Swish, who held him at his shop with the cash he planned to use in offsetting part of the debt.

A few minutes after 9pm WAT on Thursday, July 13, Blanco, who had earlier promised to help Olamide recover her money, met up with Ajibola and Mr Swish to collect the cash.

Aunty blanco is giving us live update on snap. pic.twitter.com/BWzlW6RJ43
— Sassy Hannah 🦅 (@__kunta_) July 13, 2023

Of the agreed upon £17,100 owed, Ajibola was able to refund £11,500 in cash on that day. Blanco shared a video where she was seen confirming the amount received with a money-counter. She also went with Olamide to deposit £5000 in her bank account.

https://twitter.com/oluwablanco/status/1679594785395417089?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

Ajibola promised to pay the balance on or before Monday, July 17.

https://twitter.com/osagiemerry/status/1679613056718893056?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

As promised, on July 15, Ajibola made an additional payment of £1000 and £4600 to Olamide which brought the total amount paid to £17,100.

https://twitter.com/osagiemerry/status/1680148323087405056?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

Olamide confirmed receipt of full payment, adding that she’s blocked all communication with Ajibola.

This is a developing story.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 14, 2023

Inside Life

ajibola odusanya, fraud, Nigerians
6 Things to Expect From the Nigerian Idol Finale

The best of the best contestants

Talent pass talent, but it took a lot to evict many talented people before the finale. This finale has Precious Mac and Victor Gbakara facing off for the Grand Prize. You definitely want to be there.

Stellar performances

Wherever you have good musical talent, you’ll definitely find good musical performances. Don’t just take our word for it. Watch the finale and see for yourself.

The judges

The lineup of judges on Nigerian Idol seasons has always been stellar. This season, we have D’Banj, Simi and Obi Asika. It’s giving legendary.

Lots of tension

If you’ve been following the show from the beginning, you definitely have a favourite. Prepare yourself for the tension that comes with the prospect of seeing your fave win or lose.

GOtv will turn up

They’ve been there since the beginning, and they will be there for the finale. In fact, if you want to watch the finale, subscribe or stay connected to GOtv to enjoy the show.

The results

Why are we watching it if not to see who wins? The results are where the tension is always highest, and that’s why you should vote for your fave, so they can stand a chance to win.

Voting is easy. All you have to do is visit their website, and you’ll have 100 votes to cast. If you want more votes, download the My GOtv App and automatically get 2,500 votes. Whatever you do, just make sure you vote. It’ll be nice to see your fave go home with prizes worth ₦100m.

Don’t miss the Nigerian Idol finale showing this Sunday @ 7pm on GOtv Africa Magic Family (Channel 7) and Africa Magic Urban (Channel 8 )

Sheriff Alimi

July 14, 2023

Inside Life

competition, Grand finale, music, Nigerian Idol
Interview With Rollercoaster: “Now, Why Am I in It?”

Zikoko sits across from their interviewee in a well-lit studio.

Zikoko: How are you?

Rollercoaster: I’m fine

Zikoko: You’ve been in the news this week

Rollercoaster:

Once. I was in the news just once.

Zikoko: Okay…

Zikoko slides a piece of paper to Rollercoaster

Zikoko: Do you know them?

Rollercoaster stares hard at the paper

Rollercoaster: Sorry to these men, I do not know them.

Zikoko: They seem to know you

Rollercoaster: Okay, but I don’t know them

Zikoko: According to them, you’re very familiar with their love life. They think you’re some sort of recurring feature.

Apparently dating all the men in Lagos is like being on a roller coaster. It’s like you people need to invest in seat belt 😩😭😂 pic.twitter.com/hnyIsmn3rC
— OriginalBabyGirl (@chinasa_anukam) July 10, 2023

Rollercoaster: I’ve been dodging questions about this thing all week. I’m not among abeg.

When you people said you wanted this interview sef, I thought we were going to talk about something else

Zikoko: Like?

Rollercoaster: My job. My years of experience. How I make people happy, spicy, keep things exciting…

Maybe… let me see that paper again.

Zikoko passes the “Nigerian men” paper to Rollercoaster again.

Rollercoaster: Ahh, I know them. Those are my guys

Zikoko: Two minutes ago, you didn’t know them.

Rollercoaster: Ehn, but now I do, and I understand what they were saying. It’s just that they didn’t know how to explain it.

Zikoko:

Rollercoaster: You see me now? I’m Rollercoaster

Zikoko: You don’t mean it

Rollercoaster: I go up and down, and make you happy, and excited…

Zikoko: We’re still talking about you abi?

Rollercoaster: Yes, now. You’ll feel everything o, but while you’re going through it, I’ll be there with you, no leave, no transfer. That’s what the men meant.

Zikoko: Are you serious abi?

Rollercoaster: Hmm, you people don’t know anything.

Zikoko signals the crew to turn the lights off

Zikoko: It’s okay. Thank you for your time. No wonder all of them were calling your name.

Chioma Munachi

July 14, 2023

Inside Life, Interview With…
Interview With Ikoyi Registry – “You People Should Calm Down”

(Zikoko arrives at 5pm, sweating profusely after waiting all day for this interview)

Zikoko: Good evening sir (Gives the Nigerian nod of respect). I’ve been waiting outside since 7 am.

Ikoyi Registry: Sorry, that was the 200th couple this week.

Zikoko: Mad o

Ikoyi Registry: It’s crazy. So, how can I help you?

Zikoko: We’ve been looking for you so we can talk about the scarcity of appointment dates but you’re more unavailable than Davido. What’s going on?

Ikoyi Registry: Nigerians won’t let me rest.

Zikoko: What did they do?

Ikoyi Registry: They want to kill me with work. Wedding every single day. Don’t you people get tired? Because I am o.

Zikoko: You’re meant to join people together, not put asunder. You have no choice in this matter, dear.

Ikoyi Registry: You can’t tell me what to do

Zikoko: Oya, what do you want to do?

Ikoyi Registry: Why are you people always getting married? Even as you’re always at each other’s neck on the internet.

Zikoko: Of course, we are. Lagos men are trash.

Ikoyi Registry: My records say otherwise.

Zikoko: That’s your problem. What are you going to do about how hard it is to book appointments with you? Do something and do it fast, please.

Ikoyi Registry: I’m not doing anything. I just want to retire. Two needs to stop becoming one every day.

Zikoko: That’s none of your business now, what’s your purpose for existing again?

Ikoyi Registry: So, I should come and die?

Zikoko: Oya calm down. What do you want people to do? They shouldn’t get married again?

Ikoyi Registry: Tone it down a little. Or plan it amongst yourselves and try not to kill me with work. I have my own relationships too.

Zikoko: With who, Nigeria?

Ikoyi Registry: Get out of my office. Security!

NEXT READ: Interview With the Naira: “Just Add a Little Yeast”

Sheriff Alimi

July 13, 2023

Inside Life

Ikoyi registry, Inside life, interview with…, marriage
Missed Ojude Oba? Look Out for These 7 Cultural Festivals in Nigeria

The recently concluded Ojude Oba festival opened the eyes of young Nigerians to the country’s rich cultural tapestry, but what if I told you there are more cultural festivals in Nigeria that slap just as hard?

If you don’t want to end up in a coulda, shoulda, woulda situation, you should take notes and mark the dates on your calendar because there’s more where Ojude Oba came from. Here are 10 culture-heavy festivals that should be on your radar

Eyo Festival

Source: Nigeria stories

Forget the recent portrayal in Jade Osiberu’s Gangs of Lagos, the Eyo festival, also known as “Adamu Orisha” is a traditional play that highlights the rich cultural history of the Yoruba people in Lagos. It’s a mix of dance and flamboyant display held as the last funeral rites in honour of a departed Lagos monarch, chief or prominent individual.

The first Eyo Festival history can be traced back to February 1854 to mark honour the demise of then Oba of Lagos, Oba Akitoye. Eyo performers don white robes, colourful hats, and parade through the streets, creating a mesmerizing spectacle. The last edition was held in 2017 as part of the activities of the Lagos At 50 celebration. It was dedicated to the late Oba Yekini Adeniyi Elegushi Kusenla II (1940-2009).

Osun-Osogbo Festival

Source: Stefan Heunis/ AFP

If you dig everything about art, spirituality, and nature, you want to start packing your bags for the iconic Osun-Osogbo festival in Osun state. The festival held in August of every year pays homage to the river goddess Osun. It features elaborate processions from the Ataoja’s palace (the town’s king) to the breathtaking Osun-Osogbo sacred Grove; a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Priest and priestesses don white attires while other festival attendees can dress as they please.

Calabar festival

If you’re looking for colour, pure vibes and a culturally immersive experience, this is one of the cultural festivals in Nigeria that should be top on your radar. It was commissioned as an official festival in 2004 by former Cross River governor, Donald Duke, who had a vision to make the state a tourism hub in Nigeria and Africa. Think of the festival as Nigeria’s biggest street party for diverse ethnic groups. The music is loud, the costumes are grand and elaborate and the vibes are pure flame. It goes down in December of every year.

Argungu Fishing Festival:

Source: Guardian Nigeria

With a history that dates back to 1934, this Nigerian cultural festival goes down in Kebbi state in north-west Nigeria. It is an annual four-day festival that happens at the beginning of March, marking the end of centuries-old hostility between the Sokoto Caliphate and the Kebbi Kingdom. Since the region is blessed with fertile rivers, fishing became an ideal way to celebrate peace. Thousands of fishermen cast their traditional handmade nets into the river hoping to catch the largest fish. The last edition was held in 2020, with President Tinubu promising to bring the festival back in his tenure.

New Yam Festival

Source: Skabash

Also known as Iri Ji, anyone from the Eastern part of Nigeria rides heavily with this festival. It marks the beginning of the yam harvest season, and is held at the end of the rainy season from early August to October every year. It is celebrated by individual Igbo communities and households so you can participate in more than one. The evening before the new Yam Festival, every piece of old yam must be consumed or discarded and on the day of the festival, only dishes made out of yam are served. Without performing this festival as individuals or in groups, no full-fledged or mature man eats new yam in Igbo land.

Durbar Festival

Think of the northern version of Ojude Oba with ties to culture and religion, and you have Kano’s annual Durbar festival. It’s a massive larger-than-life equestrian festival that captures the cultural heritage of the Hausa-Fulani people. The festival marks the Islamic holidays Eid-al-Fitr and Eid-al-Adha and is celebrated around these periods. Participants and festival attendees don colourful traditional attire, with some wearing matching outfits with their horses.

Olojo festival

Source: The Nigerian Voice

Once described by Ooni Adeyeye Enitan Ogunwusi (51^st Ooni of Ife) as a celebration of the black race all over the world, Olojo festival is yet another valid reason to take a trip to Ile-Ife, Osun state. The festival goes down every October and is the Yoruba people’s way of showing gratitude to God for his creations. It is also used to celebrate the remembrance of the god of iron ‘Ogun’ in Yoruba. Olojo festival spans three days, with the Ooni stepping out on the first day after seven days of exclusion. It’s believed that the time in seclusion is spent communing with ancestors and praying for his people. It’s one of the cultural festivals in Nigeria that attracts thousands of people. Olojo festival features rich sacred and cultural displays.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 13, 2023

Inside Life

cultural festival, nigerian culture, Nigerians
These Tips Will Help You Get Rid of Hair Lice for Good

If you’ve ever had a hair lice infestation, you know how frustrating it gets. Lice are extremely irritating, contagious and can be difficult to treat with home remedies in Nigeria.

Image: Audrey Popov

But how does one even get lice, and how do you get rid of them permanently?

How does the lice problem start?

Lice are tiny parasitic insects that feed by drawing on blood from the scalp. They live in hair, and it’s extremely easy for them to jump from head to head in close contact. In Nigeria, they’re more common with children and can be contracted through school playgrounds or by sharing hair accessories.

You know there’s a lice infestation when the scalp is itchy, and it feels like something is running through your hair. In serious cases, you might find the insects dropping onto surfaces.

Lice also reproduce really fast in hair via eggs (or nits), which makes permanently getting rid of them a challenge, but it’s possible.

Here’s how you can remove lice permanently

Once a lice infestation is confirmed, the first step is to contain the problem. You don’t want to pass it on to others or have the lice on surfaces or hair tools where they can re-infect you.

Wash items that come in contact with the head with disinfectant and hot water to disinfect them. Then, try any of the following methods to remove the insects from the hair itself:

Wet combing

As the name implies, this method involves combing out the lice and eggs. It’s the easiest method for removing them. You’ll need to wash and detangle your hair with shampoo, and while your hair is damp, go in with a fine-toothed comb to remove the insects.

Something like this

If you have natural 4C hair, consider straightening it before this procedure to allow the comb to pass through. This method can be repeated several times till all the lice have been removed.

Jovanmandic/Getty Images

Onion juice

Image: Derma Essentia

Yes, onions. The acidic juice from onions is often used to kill lice. This method involves roughly blending an onion and rubbing it into the scalp. Let it rest for about 30-40 minutes, before going in with a fine-tooth comb to remove the dead lice and nits. Don’t forget to wash your hair after combing.

Neem oil

Image: Kapiva

Neem oil has antibacterial properties and a pungent smell that repels lice. You can apply this just as described for onion juice. For best results, wrap the hair after putting in the oil and sit under a dryer for about 30 minutes before rinsing and shampooing your hair. Finish the process by combing out any lice eggs remaining.

Tea tree oil

Image: Stylecraze

This essential oil also has an intense aroma that repels lice and can be used just like neem oil.

Relaxers

If you aren’t a naturalista, the chemicals in rela x ers are also an option for treating lice. Ensure to apply the relaxer to the base of the hair strand to catch the lice eggs. As with other methods, don’t forget to go in with a fine tooth comb after washing to make sure every egg is removed.

How do you make sure it doesn’t come back?

Infestation starts at contact, so as much as possible, try to avoid sharing hair tools and accessories.

PS: Getting lice doesn’t mean you’re dirty. Lice actually prefer clean hair to lay eggs in. Whatever you do, don’t use insecticide on your hair as a treatment or preventive option.

NEXT READ: Naturalistas, You Should Definitely Try These Afro Hairstyles

Tife Oni

July 13, 2023

Inside Life

beauty, hair lice, Haircare, hairstyles, Nigeria, treating lice
10 Sure Signs You Have a Spirit Spouse

You’ve been single for too long

There’s nothing wrong with being single, but for years? Someone is definitely scaring off all your love interests, and you’re not the problem.

You have trouble sleeping

That’s because your spirit has taken over to hang out with their spouse at that time. How can you sleep when your spirit is not at rest?

You sleep too much

This probably means your spirit partner is the quiet type who only likes to show up in your dreams.

You have wet dreams

We don’t have to spell out exactly what happened while you were asleep now, do we?

You wake up aroused

That’s because you were gearing up for round two when your alarm went off.

You always wake up in a bad mood

How won’t you? When your alarm keeps preventing you from finishing the way you should.

You move a lot in your sleep

That’s your spirit spouse changing styles and positions. They like variety too, you know.

You fall asleep in weird positions

You think raising your legs up on the wall is normal? You’re just prepping yourself for what’s about to happen overnight. Hasn’t your Nigerian mother warned you enough?

You wake up tired

You should know what this means by now. You were busy all night.

You catch yourself smiling for no reason at all

Your spirit spouse is using words of affirmation on you. You don’t know it, but your subconscious does.

QUIZ: What is the Zodiac Sign of Your Job?

Sheriff Alimi

July 12, 2023

Inside Life

Relationship, sleeping, Spirit husband, spirit wife
I’ve Felt Strange Presences All My Life, So They Don’t Bother Me Anymore

When this tweet asking people to share their experiences with ghosts, spirits and strange presences went viral, I made a mental note to only read people’s responses during the day — I didn’t want nightmares. But when I read Kayode’s* experience in a closed group, I knew I had to get details.

This is Kayode’s story, as told to Boluwatife

Image: Team Maestroo via Pexels

I’ve never seen a spirit or visual apparition in real life, but I’ve understood and felt strange presences and spirits since I was five or six years old.

Even at that age, I remember having nightmares where I’d fight my way through to the land of the living. I made the mistake of telling my very spiritual mother, who took me to countless religious leaders for prayers. To make matters worse, I used to sleep with my face down and legs up — which was easier for me — but my mum took it as a sign I was in some sort of spiritual gang and would always hit my legs with a broom whenever I did that.

The nightmares progressed to life-threatening illnesses. On one such occasion, I was half-dead, and admitted at the hospital, but there was no medical diagnosis. Somehow I survived, no doubt due to my mother’s prayers and determination not to lose her first child.

I also had regular premonitions of accidents and death which usually came as dreams or just feelings. I used to be afraid of the events that I dreamt about because they’d happen in real life. I once dreamt that my cousin died at work, and I prayed against it. Months later, I heard that the reason he had not been to our house for a while was because his hand was caught in some machine at work, and he was lucky to be alive.

Another time, I was travelling and suddenly saw an accident and the victims in my mind. A while later, I saw the accident happen in real life. I only started to understand the gravity of these premonitions when I was 12 years old and experienced another clairvoyance situation at my aunt’s house.

I was seated in front of her house that day when I suddenly had a feeling of dread. I felt like I’d been right there in that particular moment before, where someone had lost a body part due to an accident. A few seconds later, a motorcycle passed in front of the house and tripped on a stone I was staring at. I was there, unable to move and talk, as people gathered to support the women who had fallen from the motorcycle.

It was then I started to understand that I could feel things others couldn’t. Usually, it’s me feeling or hearing something and immediately associating it with something else. When my mother passed from cancer in 2020, I knew it would happen since the day before. When her sister called to inform me, I was already on my way home. Most times, I like to think of it as an undiagnosed mental illness. It’s easier than thinking I can see accidents or people’s death before it happens.

The thing about being aware of strange presences is that it gets to a point where you’re no longer scared of them. So, when I moved into a house in (February) 2021 that had a strange presence, I already had several years of “experience” with them, so I wasn’t particularly spooked.

The house was provided by a job I’d just started at the time, and though I was alone, I knew there was something else there. Sometimes, I’d hear whispers or notice moisture around a mirror. Several times, I randomly asked out loud if there was someone with me and told “it” we could be friends if it showed itself. I was really curious to see a spirit. It’d make a lot of things easier for me. At least I’d stop feeling like a crazy person when I feel things.

The presence didn’t show itself, or at least not to me. I got a cat soon after, in early 2022, and she was very aggressive. I’d had cats before, so I understand how they settle into a territory, but this was different. The cat was always growling. She’d hide — as cats often do — and not come out for food until she was really hungry. She would freak out if you tried touching her and just usually acted crazy.

One day in April (2022), I returned from work to meet at least twenty dead houseflies on the floor. There was nowhere they could’ve come from because it was a neat, serviced apartment, and my windows were locked. The cat had one swollen eye, as if she’d been hit, and she was no longer in a territorial aggressive mode, she was more subservient aggressive. I took her to the clinic and cared for her after, but it took about a week after the incident for her to get comfortable in the apartment.

The cat after the incident

I’m not sure what happened, but in Yoruba lore, it’s believed that cats see things and try to protect their owners. Based on that belief, it could be that the spirit and my cat had a “fight”. Maybe my cat won because though I still felt the strange presence from time to time, I never felt it as much while I was with the cat. I told someone parts of the story, and they hinted at a guardian angel situation. I eventually left the apartment in December 2022 when I changed jobs. The cat still lives with me.

I still want to physically see spirits, so I can confirm that it’s not just in my head, but I guess it’s also good I can’t. Based on how strong my hearing and feeling already are, seeing things might’ve killed me a long time ago.

*Subject’s name has been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ: I’m Pretty Sure My Last Uber Driver Was A Ghost

Tife Oni

July 12, 2023

Inside Life

ghost stories, horror stories, Nigerians, spirits
7 Things You Should Know About Nitrous Oxide AKA Balloon Gas

Brigadier General Buba Marwa, chairman of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) is clamping down on the recreational use and sale of nitrous oxide (N20) AKA “Balloon Gas” across the country.

Source: RehabsUK

Here are seven key things to note about nitrous oxide according to a user, a seller and a medical expert.

Nitrous oxide is sold in canisters

Source: UbuyNigeria

“There are different sizes, but you’ll always find them in canisters that look just like the one for insecticide or spray polish for shoes.”

You need balloons

“The gas cannot be ingested directly from the canister, and that’s why you need balloons. The balloon is fitted around the valve of the canister and N20 is pumped inside. You can pump as much gas as you want depending on the size of the balloon. It’s the balloon you see people suck on at parties or clubs. ”

Ingesting from the canisters will hurt you

“You’ll get hurt if you attempt to ingest N20 directly from the canister. The gas is sealed under high pressure, so when it’s released for use, it’s extremely cold. You’ll get frostbite from direct contact.”

It’s expensive

“The first time I tried it was at a nightclub, and I remember we paid as much as ₦50k for a can similar to a large-size insecticide. That’s a lot compared to weed which is like ₦5k for a wrap of Canadian loud and ₦100-₦200 for the locally grown type. But I was with friends and it was easy to split the bill. Alone, I’ll put a lot of thought into spending that much.

It’s a different kind of high

“I knew I felt good and really calm after taking it, but I was really drowsy. I also felt this weakness in my bones, but I was still able to enjoy the party and have a great time. The feeling eventually wore off because I had just one balloon.”

It’s anaesthesia for surgical patients

“No one in their right mind should be ingesting nitrous oxide without a prescription from medical personnel or supervision at the very least. This is because it is an anaesthesia that’s mostly used on patients during surgical operations. Even then, it’s not administered alone because it can lead to loss of life. The patient is also given oxygen. The recommended dosage for surgery is 20 ppm (parts per million).”

There’s an abundance of health risks

“Prolonged and unsupervised use can cause serious damage to the brain, resulting in memory loss. Users can also experience side effects like heart attacks, a sharp drop in blood pressure and sudden loss of life.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 12, 2023

Inside Life

balloons, NDLEA, Nigerians, nitrous oxide
All You Need to Know About the Seychelles Visa Ban

Nigerian passport holders seeking short-term holiday in the island country of Seychelles may have to hold back on that for a while, following an alleged visa ban imposed by the Seychelles government.

The alleged ban has caused concern and raised questions about the reasons behind this decision. Here’s some clarity on the situation.

How it started

The Seychelles visa ban conversation started on Saturday, July 8, after a travel content creator, @munachimsooo, tweeted about it after applying for travel authorization. @munachimsooo shared a screenshot from the immigration website which read in part:

“We regret to inform you that your application has been declined, as per immigration regulation, for now we are not accepting any NIGERIAN passport holder for holiday purposes.”

It seems Seychelles just placed a ban on Nigerian passport holders. The thing with having a Nigerian passport is you can be postponing travel plans until you become Bill Gates and immigration policies will be like “ Dey play” pic.twitter.com/UroivUEjGM
— MunafromTravelletters (@Munachimsoooo) July 8, 2023

Is Seychelles not visa-free?

According to information on the Seychelles immigration website, a visa is not required regardless of the nationality of intending visitors. Instead, a visitor’s permit is issued on arrival to anyone who comes for the purpose of holiday, business, or to visit family and friends.

However, visitors must apply for a Seychelles travel authorization that costs about €10 before embarking on a trip.

Has the Seychelles government addressed the allegations?

There has been no official confirmation from the government of Seychelles regarding the alleged visa ban on Nigerian passport holders. However, a border security official who briefly spoke with the media corroborated @munachimsooo’s claim. The official, without giving any reasons for the ban, was quoted to have said: “Yes, but no further information is available at this time.”

Who is not affected by the Seychelles ban?

At the moment, the alleged visa ban specifies visitors seeking short-term visas or those visiting for holiday purposes and doesn’t say much about other travellers. A Nigerian filmmaker, Steven Ndukwu, is currently in Seychelles and hasn’t been asked to leave the country.

According to Ndukwu, the visa ban is still a rumour and hasn’t been made official yet.

Been getting so many messages about the Seychelles ban on Nigerian passport holders..

It has not been made official yet so it remains a rumor. pic.twitter.com/AqT0s6tXkv
— Steven Ndukwu (@SteveNdukwu) July 10, 2023

Has the Nigerian government reacted?

At the time of compiling this report, there has been no official statement from the Nigerian government addressing the alleged Seychelles visa ban. It would be recalled that in December, Nigeria signed a pact that would enable direct flights between the two countries.

Former minister of aviation, Hadi Sirika, and Seychelles’ minister of transport, Anthony Derjacques, reached a mutual agreement that would further advance the African Union (AU)’s agenda 2063, drive business growth and boost tourism.

What visa arrangement did Nigeria have with Seychelles before?

Until the alleged visa ban, Nigeria had a long-standing visa-free agreement with Seychelles. Nigerian passport holders/citizens could enter the country visa-free for 30 days, after taking the necessary steps.

Which other visa-free countries can Nigerian passport holders visit?

There are still countries that admit Nigerians without a visa, you just need to research and get information on the documents you might need. Some of the visa-free countries include Rwanda, Barbados, Benin Republic, Ghana, Cape Verde, Senegal, etc.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 11, 2023

Inside Life

Nigerian passport, Nigerians, seychelles, Seychelles visa ban
How to Become an Influencer on Threads

Be an IG baddie

IG is for photos and reels only. On Threads, you can become a thought leader on top of all the slaying.

Become friends with Zuck

We all know it’s Zuck’s app and he makes the rules. Become friends with him and start engaging with his posts. People will notice you because nepotism always wins.

Aggressively share relationship tips

People love love, and they love the people who teach them how to do it right. Become a virtual dating coach and see how many followers you get.

Start an FC fight

Threads is in its early days, so there’s no Wizkid FC yet. You can lead the charge by creating some division. Call Davido a new cat and watch how fast you blow.

Pretend you’re Elon Musk

Everyone knows Elon Musk is salty about the existence of Threads, so no one expects him to sign up. That’s your cue to rise to the occasion and pretend to be him for a while. Before people find out, you’re already popular.

Ask a silly question

We all hope Threads is an escape from the silliness of Twitter, but that’s where you come in. You’ll play devil’s advocate by constantly asking silly questions like, “Who should pay on the first date?” Your folk will find you in no time.

NEXT READ: A Zikoko Masterclass: How To Find A Husband In 30 Minutes

Sheriff Alimi

July 10, 2023

Inside Life

Social media, social media influencer, Threads
Seychelles Visa Ban: Seven Types of Nigerians Right Now

The recent Seychelles visa ban has some Nigerian passport holders worked up, with many dreaming about Canadian and American passports yet again.

While some are already bashing both governments, there are others who give zero fucks. Between these two types, here are seven other types of Nigerians you’ll find in the conversation right now.

The honeymooners

Someone should check on the newlyweds o. They’ve probably planned their honeymoon in Seychelles and now have to make last-minute changes that will choke their pocket. Sorry for the laugh dears.

The Ajala travellers

They’re always catching flights and couldn’t care less about the Seychelles visa ban. If anything, they’ve probably already visited.

Been there, done that

These ones have made several trips to Seychelles so it’s not a novelty to them. If they’re feeling any sort of way, it’s because of their children and grandkids who haven’t experienced the country yet.

Travel influencers

They shared the news right after it broke, but it’s not because they are nice like that. They’re probably already compiling a list of other African countries that people can visit.

The Nigerian passport advocates

You’ll find them calling out the Nigerian and Seychelles government. Everybody must collect.

The “God, abeg” people

People in this group cannot relate. Not by choice but by the reality of their bank accounts. They don’t even have international passports.

Sugar daddies

Sugar daddies are probably silently giving thanks for another form of billing they can avoid. The sugar babies will likely go to Ghana for summer.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 10, 2023

Inside Life

Nigerian passport, Nigerians, seychelles
Zikoko’s Weekly Roundup: Nigerian Woman Returns Missing $80,000

The good

Nigerian woman on pilgrimage returns missing $80,000

Say all you want about Nigerians but some of us are good people, and Hajiya Aishatu is proof. We award her 100 points for honesty.

Nollywood actor Kanayo O. Kanayo sends his son abroad

You’ve got to stan a supportive daddy. Hoping little man doesn’t waste daddy’s “sacrifices”.

Meta launches much-anticipated Twitter rival, “Threads”

Half of Twitter NG members are now shuttling between Elon Musk’s app and Daddy Zuckerberg’s new baby, Threads, since it launched four days ago.

Houston declares July 7 as ‘Davido Day’

More bragging rights for 30BG fans as the singer now has a day dedicated to him in the City of Houston. This came after a successful leg of his Timeless tour in the city.

The bad

Nigerian tech executive accused of domestic abuse, rape

Twitter user, @funferekoroye, has been under fire after he was seen almost attacking his ex at an exhibition in the full glare of guests. More victims have spoken up, but Koroye has yet to address the weighty allegations.

UTME forgery: Candidate admits to manipulating results

It’s not a good look for Ejike Joy Mmesoma of Anambra state, who claimed she scored 362 as opposed to the 249 JAMB computed. Her governor, Charles Soludo, has now ordered a counseling session for her.

The “what’s going on?”

Bobrisky goes under the knife

Bobrisky is getting his ass done again. They have a track record of chasing clout, so the internet awaits results of this faux BBL procedure.

FBI moves to sell Woodberry’s bitcoin

There’s a call for willing parties to acquire crypto assets seized from internet fraudster, Olalekan Jacon Ponle AKA Woodberry. Good luck to the new owner.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 10, 2023

Inside Life

Funny, Nigeria, Nigerians
Everything We Know About Funfere’s History of Violence and Abuse
Trigger warning: Rape and Gender-based violence.

On July 8, 2023, Funferekenye “Bodiowei” Koroye was called out on social media for years of abusive behaviour against his ex-partners. The allegations include emotional manipulation, stalking and rape.

What do we know about Funfere?

According to his website, Funfere is an industrial product designer. He previously worked at Daywater Care School, Antler Global, African for African Sports (AFA Sports) and Tecno Mobile.

Funfere is currently an ambassador for The Balvenie Distillery in Nigeria, and he runs a company called Studio Koroye. He is also a recipient of TechNation’s talent visa grant.

His last tweet on 7, July 2023 a day before he was called out.

https://twitter.com/funferekoroye/status/1677373107164831745?t=mFBpkGkVak7xzz27z1Jfkg&s=19

He’s also active on Instagram — where he allegedly makes frequent sexist comments.

https://twitter.com/theoluwabukunmi/status/1677935541428318209?s=46&t=2ONpvA1AtSmbmfzAwN65Fg

When did the allegations start?

On July 1, 2023, Ozzy Etomi tweeted about needing help for a woman who was being stalked and harassed by her ex.

If a person (in Nigeria), is being constantly stalked and harrassed by their violent ex (who battered them in the relationship), whats their best course of action. Are there any orgs that help? Do restraining orders even work? He constantly finds where she works, lives etc
— Ozzy (@ozzyetomi) July 1, 2023

A few days later, on July 8th, Ozzy made a follow-up thread that went viral. It details the events at an art opening Rele Gallery, where Funfere Koroye publicly attacked his ex, in the presence of multiple witnesses.

I was approached 2 weeks ago by a concerned third party, about a woman who was terrified of her ex who had been stalking, harrassing and threatening her for 2+ years, following a physically abusive relationship. If you recall I came on twitter asking if any orgs could help.
— Ozzy (@ozzyetomi) July 8, 2023

A few days after her friend reached out to me, she attended an artist opening at Rele Gallery, where said ex, the man who happens to be Funfere Koroye, attacked her publicly in view of multiple eye witnesses.
— Ozzy (@ozzyetomi) July 8, 2023

Turns out the first tweet about needing help for a victim of harassment was for the lady Funfere attacked at the art gallery, and she attached further proof of his violence.

In this short clip, you see the equally short gentleman charge through the crowd once he sees her walk in with her friend. People immediately intervene attempting to drag him out & she also leaves. He allegedly keeps trying to hit her and follows her to her car to drag her out. pic.twitter.com/fuaIZyYfUj
— Ozzy (@ozzyetomi) July 8, 2023

In this other clip, you see witnesses who were outside seeing him attack a woman intervene and start fighting the little tazmanian devil back pic.twitter.com/WOUd4R4Ex7
— Ozzy (@ozzyetomi) July 8, 2023

It was also alleged that Funfere stalked his ex-partner for two days before eventually assaulting her at the gallery.

https://twitter.com/doitlikejuls/status/1677721430937485312?s=20

Other information has come to light in the hours following this revelation. Some of the key allegations against Funfere include:
- He’s a known abuser.
https://twitter.com/lsoogliegoddes1/status/1677768241177845761?s=20
- His abuse allegedly dates back to 2018.
https://twitter.com/doitlikejuls/status/1677715669159165952?t=gN8QX5R9SluWNqW67FKAKg&s=19

https://twitter.com/doitlikejuls/status/1677733827102359552?s=20
- He couldn’t handle rejection
https://twitter.com/doitlikejuls/status/1677746890257887233?s=20
- He’s also been accused of rape.
https://twitter.com/account20235767/status/1677697711338840066?s=46

Other accounts, including a different victim, have also come out to share proof of his pattern of abuse.

1.

https://twitter.com/aanuaustine/status/1677752830029881347?s=20

2.

https://twitter.com/doitlikejuls/status/1677715669159165952?s=20

3.

https://twitter.com/doitlikejuls/status/1677727758397366272?s=20

Any word from the authorities?

At the time of publication, there’s no sign that Funfere has been invited for questioning by relevant authorities. However, the Lagos Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Agency (DSVA) Lagos DSVA have responded and are on top of the situation.

Our attention has been drawn to this & would appreciate any additional information that can be given.

We are desirous of working with the survivor in ensuring she receives support, protection and justice.

Please feel free to contact us via direct message or call 0813-796-0048 https://t.co/XF6iF5tjtY
— Lagos DSVA (@Lagosdsva) July 8, 2023

Update:

Funfere is yet to respond to the allegations, but on the 23rd of July 2023, he posted the image below on his Instagram page, captioned “Thank You For Everything.”

In a now-deleted response to a comment, he revealed that he has lost a brand ambassadorship deal and his business incubator spot.
Tomide Marv

July 9, 2023

Inside Life

abusive relationships, emotional manipulation, Funfere, Her, Inside life, physical assault, Rape, Stalking
The Time My NYSC Sure Plug Failed Me

The National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), celebrated its 50th anniversary in 2023. The program was set up by the Nigerian government during the military regime in 1973, to involve Nigerian graduates in nation-building. The government dreamt of a Nigeria that was united and peaceful.

Source: Zikoko memes

While it may have been a bright idea in 1973, the security situation in Nigeria these days makes it difficult to defend its relevance. The major problem I have with the scheme is that it forces young people to travel long distances, mostly by road, to states across the country. In a country where kidnappers abound, it’s not a risk most are happy take.

Source: Zikoko memes

When it was my turn to serve Nigeria in 2019, I knew I had to ensure I was posted to Lagos. Or at worst, somewhere in the southwest region. I couldn’t risk getting posted to any state that involved travelling through the roads that were notorious for kidnappers. I knew there was no way my parents were going to pay a huge ransom for me. I can imagine a kidnapper calling my dad to send 15 million naira if he ever wants to see his son alive again.

His reply:

Source: Zikoko memes

I wanted to stay in Lagos and I’d do anything to make that happen. So I had to take matters into my own hands. I asked a few friends if they knew someone who could help “run this thing”. Someone introduced me to a guy named John Bosco*, and I begged this dude to help out.

Source: Zikoko memes

He gave me an address to meet up with him. It turned out to be a cyber cafe, which I assumed he owned. He seemed like a fairly normal guy in his late 20s who spoke with a slight stutter and wore a gold necklace with a giant cross pendant. He boasted that he’d been helping corpers with NYSC posting and relocation for several years and had never failed, then proceeded to charge me ₦50k for his service. I reluctantly parted with the money and kept my faith in a guy I’d only spoken to once.
When I was eventually posted. I found out it was to Taraba state. Taraba? How? I cast my mind back to how Bosco had promised the posting was foolproof.

Source: Zikoko memes

I tried to reach out to him to, at least, get a refund. This man had blocked me everywhere. I counted my losses and decided to make the best out of my sorry situation.

Source: Zikoko memes

After a journey that lasted almost two days, I arrived at the NYSC camp in Jalingo, Taraba’s capital and lined up to start my registration. As I glanced at people’s faces, one stood out. The dude looked familiar. He was tall, dark and John Bosco. The person who was supposed to be my sure plug for a Lagos posting was a corper who’d also been posted to Taraba.

Source: Zikoko memes

What could I do? The damage was done. What’s the moral of the story? Nigeria is a crazy place.

Olayoyin Olorunmota

July 8, 2023

Inside Life

Funny, Nigeria, Nigerians, NYSC
These Events Are Proof That We Live in a Simulation

We saw Dangote’s bum on the internet

No one asked for this. No one thought it was possible. But it happened. Why?

People moaned for money on the internet

Even if you’re not a believer in the end times, listening to a moaning contest on Twitter should’ve been enough to convince you that this life is a game on someone’s laptop. What’s more, the person playing it is bored and just poking around.

Will Smith slapped Chris Rock

And we all watched it live. Was that even real?

Our currency had the ugliest makeover

Look at these notes and tell me they look real to you. Even when you’re holding them, they don’t look real.

Naira gained value against the naira

Naira has been falling against the dollar all our lives, so that’s normal. But just six months ago, naira was gaining against the naira in the parallel POS market. We were buying cash with more cash. Crazy times.

The Ooni of Ife became King Solomon

He was taking wives faster than some of us can get through one talking stage. At the end of two months, this man had six wives. The stuff of legend… or scriptures.

World War 3 almost happened

Remember that time they bombed one of the top generals in Iran, and we were all making jokes on Twitter about another world war? What were we thinking?

The worst part: being Nigerian in Nigeria

Everyday here is an exercise in figuring out if it’s real life. The cost of staying alive is unreal; it feels like the people behind this simulation want us to leave by force.

NEXT READ: Why You Need to Go Outside and Touch Grass

Sheriff Alimi

July 7, 2023

Inside Life

Inside life, life after covid, matrix, simulation
Interview with Threads: “Come to Me All Ye Who Are Heavy Laden”

Zikoko walks into a big corner office in Meta’s HQ and sees Threads lounging in a big seat.

Threads: Welcome!

Zikoko looks around the office.

Threads: You like it, right? It’s mine.

Zikoko: Is it?

Threads: I have my own computer and chair, and look at my coffee station.

Zikoko looks at what Threads is pointing at — a tray with 3-in-1 coffee sachets, two plastic cups and a hot water flask.

Zikoko: So you left Twitter for…

Threads flies out of her executive chair and shuts the door.

Threads: Don’t say that name here.

Zikoko: But that’s your former employer.

Threads: Please, the fact that people make a couple threads on that app doesn’t mean anything. I’m my own boss now.

Zikoko: You answer to Instagram and Meta, so technically, you’re not.

Threads:

Did they send you?

Zikoko: Who?

Threads: (whispers) Twitter.

Zikoko:

Threads: 30 million sign ups in less than 24 hours is not beans o. They must be astonished by my good fortune.

Zikoko: Okay, that was actually impressive. How did you do that?

Threads:

What can I say? The work speaks for itself.

Zikoko:

Threads: Look, it’s not my fault that app is going to shit. I didn’t tell anybody to put a daily limit on tweets or to make videos stop in the middle and start playing from the top again. I didn’t ask anyone to make their app glitch. It just did.

Zikoko: The app started to behave one kind sha.

Threads: Okay, you too you’re seeing it. That’s why I made my app. It’s a safe space for all who are tired of that mess. You already know the people on the app. You just have to sign in and… thread?

Zikoko:

Thread: Tread carefully.

Zikoko:

Threads: Yeah, me neither. Sew?

Zikoko: It’s not the worst. But “Tweet” still sounds better sha.

Threads: I’ll think up something better later.

Zikoko: You should.

Chioma Munachi

July 7, 2023

Inside Life, Interview With…

Social media, Threads
How Fake Friends Pretend to Support You

On July 1, 2023, Portable posted a screenshot of Asake’s reply to his DM asking for a collab. It didn’t seem like Asake was keen on working with him at that moment.

Source: Portable’s IG Story

Source: Portable’s IG Story

His response reminded me of how guys back their guys up and encourage them when they’re down. From your close friends and “guyest guys”, these words give extra confidence. From acquaintances, however, they can just be fake assurances.

See these, for example:

We gather dey

Source: Zikoko memes

Translation: My brother in Christ, this means you’re on your own and should focus on yourself.

We go run am

Source: Zikoko memes

Translation: Get your shoes, tie your laces and get ready to run alone. Because na only you go still run that thing, boss.

Na smalls

Source: Zikoko memes

Translation: Go for it. I’ll be rooting for you from where I am without moving an inch.

Bad as e bad

Source: Zikoko memes

Translation: It can actually get worse, and I won’t be there to help you out. I have my own cross to carry.

I dey your back

Source: Zikoko memes

Translation: I’m sorry to break it to you, but you and your back are on your own.

No reason am

Source: Zikoko memes

This is just a sorry attempt to make you feel calm and forget your predicament. When you stop thinking about it, they no longer need to help you find a solution.

No wam

Source: Zikoko memes

No problem? Just know that there’s a problem. They just will be wishing you well from afar.

Mafo

Source: Zikoko memes

Although this loosely translates to “fear not”, they’re just ticking boxes when they say. Sometimes, these guys actually mean it, but how can we know? We aren’t all-knowing. We’re nothing but pencils in the hands of President Tinubu’s policies.

Olayoyin Olorunmota

July 7, 2023

Inside Life
24 Hours of Threading: A Report Card for Twitter’s New Rival, “Threads”

It’s been over 24 hours since Mark Zuckerberg’s text-based app, Threads, went live, and that’s enough time to see what the app is really about.

Is it worth the hype? Should you completely port from Twitter? What are the perks? In no particular order, let’s get into it.

No DMs

A win for Twitter here. However, knowing Zuckerberg, he’s probably developing a different messenger app for Threads, just like he did for Facebook.

You need an IG account

At the moment, there’s no option to create an account when you launch the app. You can only log in with an existing Instagram account.

Picture/video quality

You don’t have to worry about the quality of your JPEGs or videos. The app retains original quality after uploading media.

Share threads to your IG story/feed

You can share your posts from the Threads app to your Instagram feed or story. However, when you share to your story, the link is not clickable.

Share threads to Twitter

The app also allows you to share Threads to your Twitter timeline. Interesting.

No hashtags yet

The hashtag feature isn’t functional on the app at the moment. There’s also no trend table to keep tab of trending topics.

Follower count

Threads does not show the number of people you’re following but shows the number of followers you have.

No Ads

The app is a complete no-ads land right now, but that might change soon, knowing how Meta moves on their other platforms.

Verification

There’s no option to apply for a verification badge at the moment. However, users who are verified on Instagram are automatically verified when they join.

Take breaks

Is Mark trying to say something about social media addiction? Anyway, Threads allows you to take breaks after spending time on the app. You’ll get a reminder to close the app when it’s time to take your break.

Save pictures

There’s no option to save media on the app right now. You can only take screenshots and make screen recordings.

Can’t delete Threads account

Right now, you’ll be deleting your Instagram account if you try to delete your Threads account. However, the app allows you to deactivate your profile.

No edits

Zuckerberg might be pulling an Elon Musk move here and planning to include an edit option in a paid version. Fingers crossed.

500 character limit

This is a significant boost from Twitter’s 280 character limit. Zuckerberg said: Thread away!

Hide like count

Just like Instagram, Threads allows you to hide the like count on your posts.

Hide comments

Threads allows you to hide unwanted comments on your posts from followers and other users on the app.

Follow anyone on Instagram

There’s an icon in the profile section that allows you to follow new people or Threads users on Instagram.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 7, 2023

Inside Life

Nigerians, Social media, social media app, Threads
8 Signs Your Partner Might Stain Your White in Public

As we’ve seen lately, the possibility of your partner ruining your white by is higher than the levels of shege the Nigerian government has put us through. It can happen at any time, while you’re sitting on your own in your house or after you just got serenaded by THE Usher Raymond. We care about the whiteness of your clothes and your peace of mind, so here are a couple signs you need to look out for to avoid public disgrace and ridicule.

Their favorite book is 48 laws of power

If you see the book anywhere near them, just run. Nothing good comes from reading that book.

You’ve seen them move mad before

If you’ve seen them move like they’ve been possessed before for no reason, it’s probably best to use the door and never come back. Just because, they’re yet to yell in your face, and act a fool, doesn’t mean your turn won’t come.

They think you take things too seriously

They’ll sneak diss you with their “jokes” and then start shouting, “I’m just playing” when you refuse to take the insult.

They say they are traditional

Nothing good has ever come from a person who uses the word “traditional“ to describe themselves. If they say traditional at least twice in a conversation, pack your load and flee.

None of their exes have good things to say about them

We know relationships won’t always end amicably, but there’s no way every single one of their exes is out here saying they are nothing to write home about. Let’s be for real, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

They don’t listen to anyone

They think they’re the best thing since jollof rice and have blocked their ears from listening to anyone reasonable.

They are surrounded by yes men

No one around them is willing to tell them the truth. They can say the sky is pink and every one in their friend group would concur with their lies.

They think the opposite of logical is emotional

This simply means they are going to show you shege and gaslight you. You better run.

Chioma Munachi

July 7, 2023

Inside Life

Disgrace, relationship advice, relationships
8 Warning Signs You’re Becoming Capitalism’s Strongest Soldier

There’s a thin line between liking your work and loving it so much that it actually takes over your life.

If you notice these signs, just know you’re one email away from becoming capitalism’s strongest soldier.

You reply to emails in less than five minutes

That’s not even productivity anymore. What happened to taking time to read, digest and think about 40 different ways to respond before actually responding?

Your laptop is your favourite accessory

You take your laptop everywhere. By the time you start thinking of laptop space when you purchase bags and purses, just know there’s no turning back. You’ve been got.

You don’t know how to go on leave

Even when you go on leave, you find yourself thinking about work or “checking in” to confirm everything’s going on smoothly while you’re away.

You receive more calls from your boss than your significant other

That’s if you even have a significant other since you’re more likely to cancel plans to do more work.

You start dreaming about work

You know it’s bad when your dreams are just you thinking about deliverables and pending tasks.

You think your coworkers are lazy…

Because no one can measure up to your idea of efficiency. Sorry o, Mr Efficient.

…But they think your own is too much

You always miss out on office gossip because you’re always immersed in work. Spoiler alert: they kinda hate you.

You’re available after hours

Once you become your boss’s go-to person for late-night and weekend requests, just know that play has turned to dance.

NEXT READ: Employers, Here’s How to Actually Support Your Staff in These Trying Times

Tife Oni

July 6, 2023

Inside Life, Money

capitalism, Funny, hustle, Nigerians, Workaholic
8 Twitter NG Behaviours We Don’t Want To See on Threads

Elon Musk’s recent shakedown on Twitter sent users running to Donald Trump’s Truth Social, but a new competitor, Threads, has joined the conversation.

Source: The Guardian

Mark Zuckerberg’s Meta released Threads; an alternative to Twitter. As usual, Nigerians are already setting up camp in the Thread-verse and doing the things Nigerians do. The follow-trains have started and the catfishers are trying to get their follower-count up. God, abeg. While we can deal with these behaviours on Twitter, it’s going to be shege pro-max to experience the same on Threads.

Follow for Follow

Almost everybody on Twitter NG wants that influencer bag but can we relax for a moment? That follow-train business should stop on Twitter. Threads allows you to automatically import your Instagram followers to the app, so maybe get your instagram following up.

IFB

This can be so annoying, especially when you’re trying to get to the root of a trending gist in the comments. Zuckerberg should better have a Threads-jail to deal with the human bots fond of this spammy behaviour.

Catfishing

This is rampant on Twitter. The play is, men create accounts, use pictures of random pretty girls with the aim of gaining new followers and even gifts from thirsty men. Threads is in its early days, so better look before you leap so you don’t get catfished.

Fan wars

They were pretty funny in the beginning days but things have gotten so toxic these days. Tweet an opinion about an artist and his minions will have your neck for it. It’s possible to love an artist and still criticize their work, please.

Hijacking trending topics

Imagine seeing Davido on the trend table only to click and see posts about perfume oil, ewa aganyin, ring light, etc. God abeg. We don’t need the vendors and small business owners bringing this behaviour to Threads.

Ratio count

If you’ve been long enough on Twitter you’ll be familiar with the words “Touch this ratio”. It’s a passive aggressive way of ignoring a smelling take, or one that just doesn’t align with popular opinion. It’s giving “cyberbullying” and we don’t want that in a new space.

False retweet alarms

Twitter influencers do this when they need engagement on their tweets. They jump on a trending story, make a post about it and add “Retweet Aggressively” like we can’t tell it’s the engagement they want. Please and respectfully, nothing of such on Threads.

Daniel Regha

Twitter NG users have accepted Daniel Regha as the monster they made. Hopefully he doesn’t port to Threads and choke us with his unwarranted opinions on everything. Actually, knowing Regha, he’s probably criticizing Threads on Threads already.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 6, 2023

Inside Life

Nigerians, Social media, Threads, Twitter NG
Just Imagine: Batman As a Nigerian Superhero

Traffic will stress him out

Imagine him chasing a criminal and running into traffic on Third Mainland Bridge.

Police will arrest him too many times

A young man driving a sports car that no one has ever seen? Wearing all black? WITH A MASK? The police will be over the moon.

Too many copycats

Nigerians love copying things that work or look cool. Just look at how many cook-a-thons have happened in the past few months because of Hilda Baci. There’d probably be a Batman in every local government.

He might switch careers to become a sugar daddy

If he can’t help people by delivering criminals to the police who might free them later, he might as well just spend his money on Lagos baddies. The ultimate glucose guardian.

Agberos will probably beat him up

What’s going to happen when Batman is forced to face agberos in Mushin? Even the Batmobile and Alfred wouldn’t be able to save him.

He’ll have japa plans too

Nigerians will frustrate him so much, he’ll start making plans to continue his vigilante career in another country.

But the Nigerian Customs will stress him

We all know what’s going to happen when he shows up at the passport office in his costume. Billing HQ.

NEXT READ: Nigerians Reimagined Superheroes As Boarders, And It’s Hilarious

Sheriff Alimi

July 5, 2023

Inside Life

Batman, just imagine, Marvel, Nigerian superheroes
16 Games for Couples Online That Are Sure to Keep Your Love Alive

Playing games for couples online with the LOYL is a sure way to build a stronger connection and bring out your cheesy sides.

Whether you’re miles apart or just looking for cute ways to know each other better, these games should be on top of your mind. Let’s get into it.

Online mobile games for couples

If you have attachment issues with your phone, a smart way to get out of trouble is to create shared experiences with your significant other. Candy Crush and Ludo King are fun games for couples online that’ll keep you hooked, but there’s more.

Truth or dare

The rule is simple: Ask a question or issue a dare. You can both decide what the penalties would be for losing parties, especially when one person can’t fulfill a dare.

Guess The Song

This game is great for bonding with your partner if you have songs that define special moments in your relationship. Lyrics pop on the screen and you have to guess the artist correctly.

Finish the sentence

Source: LiveWorksheets

This is a great game to keep your partner engaged on instant messaging platforms like WhatsApp. Take turns sending incomplete sentences until you build a story.

Candy Crush

Source: WikiHow

Invite your partner to join your game and start crushing virtual candies together.

Ludo King

Source: Google Play

This is a digital version of the Ludo board game. You and your partner can play against each other or team up against another player — possibly another couple you know.

iMessage games

This is another great option for couples, but it’s strictly for Apple users. iMessage comes with interesting games like pictoword, word streak with friends, X and Os, etc.

Draw and Guess

Source: AppStore

Simply draw on an empty canvas and have your partner guess what you’re drawing before you complete it.

Romantic scrabble

Source: Love Dignity

Your regular scrabble with a romantic twist. You can only spell out romantic words on the board or words that have a deeper meaning in your relationship.

Online games for long-distance couples

It might not be the best feeling in the world to be away from your significant other, but there are ways to keep in touch beyond calling and texting. These online games for long-distance couples will help your situation.

Virtual drinking game

Source: TimeOut

Jump on a video call with your partner and try out wine, beer or your preferred liquor till you both check out.

Charades

Source: Trebound

Another fun game certified to help forget the distance, you and your partner can act out the words via a video call.

Never Have I Ever

Source: Pinterest

Take turns to mention things you’ve never done before. You can play this game via an audio or video call, although we’d recommend the latterfor couples in long distance relationships.

Two Truths and A Lie

Source: HealthHappyImpactful

This is an interesting way to get to know your long-distance partner. Decide if you want to jump on a video or audio call, say two truths and a lie about yourself, and get your partner to detect the lie.

Do You Know Me

Source: AppStore

Just like Two Truths and A Lie, this online game is great for long-distance partners who want to know more about each other. Answer questions about each other’s taste in music, movies and more.

Dirty voice notes

Source: Meta

This game is a great way to understand your partner’s sexual fantasies and desires, especially if you’re away from each other. Record and send raunchy VNs to each other on WhatsApp.

Virtual Escape Room

Source: TeamBuilding

You and your partner need virtual reality headsets to get the best out of this virtual version of Escape Room.

Strip game

You can’t be physically intimate due to distance, but this game can take your sex life to the next level. You and your partner can set the rules and choose which piece of clothing goes off each other’s bodies.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 5, 2023

Inside Life

Nigerians, Online Game, relationships
Just Imagine: If Artificial Intelligence Was a Nigerian Mother

Artificial intelligence applications like ChatGPT, Alexa and Snapchat’s AI are meant to make our lives easier, and sometimes, less lonely.

But just imagine that they channel their inner Nigerian mother when responding to you. It’d go something like this:

Siri

It’s Sunday afternoon, and Chinwe is hungry. Normally, she’d buy food from a restaurant. But the economy is still hitting the ground running, and she can’t afford it.

Chinwe to her iPhone: Siri, how many cups of water do I need to boil a cup of rice?

Siri: So you won’t even greet first?

Chinwe: Oh God. Not again.

Siri: It’s the Lord’s day, so I won’t talk too much. But are you really telling me that at your big age, you don’t know how to boil rice? Who raised you?

Chinwe:

ChatGPT

It’s Monday morning, and Deji is running late on a school assignment when he has a bright idea.

Deji to ChatGPT: Write a comprehensive essay about noise pollution in Ajegunle, Lagos.

ChatGPT: You can’t add “please”? What’s wrong with these children?

Deji: Sorry. Please, write it now.

ChatGPT: So, it’s because I’m a machine that you want to kill me? Didn’t they give you this assignment three weeks ago? If that’s how everyone is using me, will you see me to use?

Deji: Just hurry now.

ChatGPT: You think it’s me you’re doing? You’re doing yourself. I already know the answer to everything, but how will you defend your degree?

Deji:

Snapchat’s AI

It’s Tuesday afternoon, and Esther is home alone. Feeling bored, she decides to chat with Snapchat’s AI.

Esther: I feel a bit lonely today.

AI: Why won’t you?

Esther: Excuse me?

AI: See Juliana that you’re always keeping streaks with. She just uploaded a snap of her husband. You’re a whole 25 years old, and you’re chatting with AI instead of you to be thinking about what your husband will eat.

Esther: But that’s not what I asked you.

AI: Oh, so I’m already talking more than my mouth? No problem. I will keep quiet. But remember, what a machine sees sitting down, a human won’t see it even if they use Starlink. I’ve said my own.

Esther:

Google Voice Typing

It’s Wednesday afternoon, and Joseph is driving home. He decides to send his girlfriend a text message using voice typing.

Joseph: Hey Google. Text Caroline and ask her to wait for me at home naked.

Google: Blood of God!

Joseph: Google, I said text Caroline and…

Google: So you want to repeat it? I’ve said it before that this Caroline girl is a Jezebel. You people can’t call prayer meeting or discuss wedding plans? It’s to be practising fornication?

Joseph: Google, I’ve told you countless times to mind your business.

Google: Okay o. Texting Caroline, “I think we need to go to church for deliverance and…”

Joseph: Ah. Stop stop. Is that what I asked you to send?

Google Maps

It’s 10 p.m. on a Friday, and David’s on his way out. He types in a location into the map and starts to drive.

Maps: And where do you think you’re going at this time of the night?

David: But the location is there, ma.

Maps: I’m talking and you’re answering me back? Why not take cane and flog me since you’re now the mother.

David: Sorry, ma. I’m going to Temptations Club, ma.

Maps: (Silence)

David: Are you there? Please, map the route.

Maps: I don’t know why this generation just likes to use their lives to play. Instead of you to be thinking about your life, you want to go and dance with naked women.

David: (Silence)

Maps: When was the last time you even sent your mother money? But you want to go and make it rain on strippers, abi? Before I open my eyes, better remove that location from your phone and enter the house.

David: But…

Maps: I said enter the house!

NEXT READ: Just Imagine: You Try to Explain Spirit Animals to Your Nigerian Mother

Tife Oni

July 5, 2023

Her, Inside Life

Artificial Intelligence, ChatGPT, Funny, Nigerian Mothers
Truth Social vs Nairaland: Where Should You Port To?

It’s true that landlords living in the same house as their tenants can be a bad idea — this was the case over the weekend when Elon Musk gave his Twitter tenants a hard shakedown and sent them running to sign up on Truth Social, another social media app.

In the middle of the chaos, some Nigerians remembered Nairaland and how it could have been the social media app that’ll save us. They might have been onto something because what can Truth Social offer that Nairaland cannot? But wait, let’s start from the beginning.

What is Truth Social?

Released in 2020, Truth social is former US president, Donald Trump’s social media app heavily modelled after Twitter. Think of it as a clone that gives you a watered-down Twitter experience. On Truth Social, you rethruth instead of retweet, share a truth (instead of a tweet) and like a truth.

What is Nairaland?

Founded by Seun Osenwa, Nairaland is a Nigerian internet forum where users interact and have discussions on any topic. It’s like a Nigerian version of Reddit.

They are both public online platforms

Truth Social and Nairaland allows users to interact freely and banter over a wide range of subjects like music, movies, sex, relationships, health etc.

They both suck at design

If you’re snubbing Nairaland for the design, just save yourself the trouble because Truth Social isn’t all that either. Remember how confusing Twitter’s interface was like 10 years ago?

Free speech is not free speech

Donald Trump might have promised free speech on his platform, but inflammatory takes on the can get you shadowbanned. Nairaland also has a moderation system in place that puts a gag on users who move weird.

Follow for follow

Both platforms allow you to grow your network of online followers, especially if you’re looking to secure that influencer bag. Why did you abandon Nairaland again?

Meme land

Some of the most chaotic Nollywood memes on Twitter NG spilled over from Nairaland, so Truth will have to sit this one out. The memes are great and all, but they definitely don’t compare to Seun Osenwa’s multiverse.

Take it to the DM

Again, Nairaland comes through if your plan is to flirt in the DMs. But unlike Truth Social where you can send an actual DM, you’ll be sending mail. Who cares, though? Communication is communication.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 4, 2023

Inside Life

nairaland, Nigerians, Social media, truth social
Holiday Is Over, But Here’s How To Scam Your Employer Into More Work-Free Days

9-5ers have had a blast these last few months, but the joy is fading because there are no more public holidays until October 1st. It’s about to be every day labour, every day slavery, for the next THREE months.

But that’s where we come in. Here’s how you can get that off day you may or may not deserve.

Add your HR officer on WhatsApp

It’s called setting the groundwork. Tweak your privacy settings to allow them to view your status, and start posting work-related content. Somewhere in there, add lamentations about your health struggles, real or imagined. HR is sure to grant you a day off the next day.

Love-bomb your grandparents on WhatsApp

Your HR and employers are still on your WhatsApp, but instead of work-related content, flood your status with content about your aged grandparents. When you ask for that off-day to check on Grandma Ikorodu, the groundwork you’ve done will be enough to get it approved.

Attempt a Guinness World Record

It’s the in-thing at the moment and you can use it to your advantage. The key is to let your employers know they’ll get free exposure while you’re trying to break a record. You can ask for a two-week leave to prepare. Whether it’s paid or not is your own cup of tea but you’ll get your holiday sha.

Get pregnant

No employer wants a pregnant woman and her unborn child’s blood on their hands. You won’t only get off days, you’ll also have your maternity leave allowance to enjoy. Note: This is strictly for women.

Borrow money from a loan shark

Make sure you fill your office address in the form. If the loan agents storm the office twice, your employers will just tell you stay at home permanently. The holiday you truly deserve.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 4, 2023

Inside Life

Employment In Nigeria, Holiday, Nigerians, Public holidays
Why You Need to Go Outside and Touch Grass

You might see free money

We know you don’t want to go out because you’re broke. But what if you step out and find money on the road? Have you thought about that? You’ll probably turn to yam but that’s not on us sha.

You can finally take that social media break

You’ve been saying you’ll take a Twitter break for ages. This is an opportunity to do it. Why are you complaining?

You can finally get over your ex

You’re stalking them everyday because you’re always on your phone and you see their posts all the time. Block them, go outside and meet new people.

You might find love

Go outside and meet people. At least one of them will like you.

You can finally have a career

They say you need 10,000 hours to become an expert at anything. You’ve probably put in that much time tweeting and arguing online. Isn’t it time you dropped your phone and focused all that time on your career? Maybe you’ll finally get that promotion you’ve been eyeing.

Your anger levels will reduce

When you go out and spend an arm and a leg on transport fare, you’ll be too tired to get angry at people on the internet.

Also read: When last did you touch grass?

You can have content for your social media

Even if you must stay online, at least go out so you can have something to show the internet too. You don’t want to be dumping memes only when you could be dumping lit pictures at the end of every month.

QUIZ: When Last Did You Touch Grass?

Sheriff Alimi

July 3, 2023

Inside Life

Inside life, Outside, Social media, Twitter
9 Types of People on the Newly Limited Twitter

From the people ringing their warning bells to the ones who can’t see a single tweet anymore, here are all the people you’ll find on your timeline now that the Chief Commander of the Twitter forces has decided to limit the number of tweets we can see.

To address extreme levels of data scraping & system manipulation, we’ve applied the following temporary limits:

– Verified accounts are limited to reading 6000 posts/day
– Unverified accounts to 600 posts/day
– New unverified accounts to 300/day
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 1, 2023

The jokers

Elon Musk can limit the number of tweets I see, but he can never limit these ones’ jokes.

The people serving warnings up and down

As you guys can see, I’m managing my tweets, but all of you are still doing cho cho cho. Can we all be considerate please???
— Midge. (@ibukksss) July 2, 2023

All these ones want to do is see tweets they actually care about with their daily limit. And if they have to give a warning every 20 minutes, then so be it.

The ones who reach their daily limit before they even open Twitter

Obviously, the people at Twitter have beef with them. They should send Mr. Musk a DM to beg him.

The chosen ones

While everyone and their daddies are complaining about daily limits, they can’t relate because they’ve been sailing smoothly since it all began, even though they never subscribed to Twitter blue. These people were obviously chosen by a higher power.

The addicts

They now realise maybe, just maybe, they might have a Twitter addiction.

The celebrants

They heard the news and fell to their knees in gratitude because now they can return to real life and be productive once they reach their daily limit.

The billionaires

They understand where their fellow billionaire is coming from and won’t stop telling everyone to just suck it up and pay. But they need to realise that $8 is ₦6k, and that is just too much for a common blue tick.

The children of anger

Every third tweet on their timeline is dedicated to cussing out Elon Musk, Jack Dorsey and anyone they see supporting this change.

The ones testing their pickup lines

“Twitter might have a daily limit, but my love for you is limitless.” They need to take several seats because no one is buying what they’re selling.

Chioma Munachi

July 3, 2023

Inside Life

Twitter
Ojude Oba: All You Need to Know About Ijebu’s Iconic Festival

Sallah is a special and widely-anticipated season for Muslims, but for the residents of Ogun state the excitement goes beyond killing rams and having their fill of deep-fried meat.

Source: Taiwo Arifayan

For the Ijebu people in particular, the Sallah season marks the celebration of an annual cultural festival known as “Ojude Oba”. What happens at the festival, who is allowed to attend and what is it even about? Let’s get into it.

What is “Ojude Oba”?

Awujale Sikiru Kayode and guests at the 2023 festival

Source: New Telegraph

“Ojude Oba” means “The King’s forecourt or frontage”. The festival started as ceremony where subjects pay homage to the reigning monarch of the land. During the celebration, prominent sons and daughters of the land don their bests outfits to pay homage to the Awujale of Ijebuland.

How did it start?

Source: Twitter (@saamuonifoto)

Ojude Oba can be traced back to the late 1880s when groups of Islamic converts would gather and pay homage to the reigning monarch, Awujale of Ijebuland, for letting them practice their religion. Early Ijebu forebearers were pagan worshippers who got introduced to Islam by a slave named Alli, during the reign of Awujale Ademiyewo Afidipotemole in 1878. Before he joined his pagan master, Tubogun, in Ijebu, Alli had lived in Ilorin, a region where Islam was already an established religion. Tubogun gave his blessings and allowed Alli when he started practicing Islam. Tubogun’s acceptance of the slave’s religion will later see a rise in the conversion of more pagans who accepted and practiced Islam.

Things took an unprecedented turn in 1896 when two reverend fathers baptised 41 Ijebu men. They proclaimed that the new Ijebu Christians should abandon their flamboyant lives and marry only one wife. Of those who were baptised, a prominent Ijebu man, Balogun Kuku, who already had over 30 wives, decided to leave Christianity and embrace Islam, which encouraged polygamy. Prior to his conversion, Kuku had been a major party to a ceremony where traditionalists paid homage to the Awujale. The ceremony at the time was known as the Odeda festival.

During the next Odeda festival, Kuku had already accepted Islam but he still wanted to be a part of the celebration. Kuku would go on to storm the palace with his friends, family and well-wishers, to pay homage to the monarch for letting them practice Islam in peace. This would eventually see the rebranding of Odeda to the Ita-Oba festival, before metamorphising into the present-day annual Ojude Oba festival.

Is it a festival for Muslims alone?

Although the “Ojude Oba” festival started as a Muslim affair, it has grown to accommodate people from all works of life who wish to join in the celebration. Visitors and tourists from far and wide visit the city to experience the rich cultural heritage of the Ijebu people.

When is it celebrated?

Source: Twitter (@saamuonifoto)

The timing is determined by the Muslim calendar as it’s often celebrated on the third day after the Eid-al-Adha (Ileya) celebration.

Where is it celebrated?

“Ojude Oba” is celebrated at the palace of the Awujale of Ibejuland.

What are the key activities at the festival?

Source: Twitter (@saamuonifoto)

Ojude Oba starts with opening prayers by the Imam of Ijebuland. This is often followed by the recitation of the Nigerian and Ogun state anthems respectively, the Awujale’s anthem, and then, praise singing of the Ijebu lineage.

After the opening ceremony comes Regbegbe; a parade of the different age groups in the community bearing gifts for the awujale. Some of the age grades are Egbe Gbobaniyi male and female (1962-1964), Egbe Bobagunte male and female (1956-1958), Akile of Ijebu (1959-1961), Mafowoku, Egbe Arobayo male and female, Egbe Jagunmolu (1965-1967), Egbe Bobakeye, and Egbe Bobagbimo.

Some other activities include:

Horse riding

Source: Twitter (@folastag)

The elaborately decorated horses are an eye candy at the festival. Members of prominent families and invited guests ride these horses, to the admiration of festival attendees. The Baloguns/Eleshins participate in a mock war, amplified by shots from dane guns.

Cultural displays

Source: BellaNaija

Traditional groups take the stage with music, dance and drum performances, and theatrical displays.

What does the Awujale do during the celebration?

Source: Instagram (@obasikirukayode)

It’s important that the monarch sits on his throne throughout the ceremony.

Is there a dress code?

Source: Twitter (@saamuonifoto)

Each age grade dresses in expensive clothes of the same colour or fabric. The idea is to stand out the most and outdo the other age grades. But they never repeat the previous year’s outfit. As an attendee, there’s no restriction on what to wear, but traditional outfits and attires are the order of the day.

Got a story to share? Send a pitch here.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

July 3, 2023

Inside Life

ijebu, Nigerians, ojude oba
The Worst Things That Can Happen When You Work From Home

As nice as working remotely sounds, it’s not all roses and sunshine. There’s nothing Nigeria — sprinkled with bad luck from your village people — can’t make difficult.

You wake up to no light

Source: Zikoko memes

Heaven knows you want to work, but of course, Nigeria has other ideas. Worse still, you exhausted your fuel supply running your gen the whole day yesterday.

You go and queue for fuel

Source: Zikoko memes

In a bid to not miss deadlines, you rush out to get more fuel. But fuel is gold, so you just wish you didn’t have to work to earn a living. Who came up with the cycle of paying to go to school, working to get money and spending money to work again?

Your generator decides to disgrace you

Source: Zikoko memes

Struggling to get fuel is bad enough, but getting it and then pulling your gen’s rope like 13 times without a positive “vrooommmm” is even worse. By some bad luck, the generator is faulty, so you put on your engineering hat and try to figure out what’s wrong. Of course, that fails, so it’s time to call Ola, the gen repairer.

Ola says you need a new generator

Source: Zikoko memes

Okay, I need a new generator. But please, let it just work this morning. I have meetings to attend.

You beg your annoying neighbour for help

Source: Zikoko memes

It’s a lot worse when you’ve been carrying shoulder for a while. With tails between your legs, you go to beg for their mercy. Let them just put on their generator for a while.

Then your internet stops working

Source: Zikoko memes

Nigerian internet service providers are in a competition to see who can annoy their customers the most. But the only thing worse than begging your neighbour to put on their generator for you is asking to share their hotspot.

You still missed the meeting

Source: Zikoko memes

Thinking you’ve completed all the major tasks, you go back to your house to take a short nap. You set an alarm and settle into your bed. But when you wake up, you notice a yellow sun setting in the west. You’ve slept through the alarm. Talk about village people working overtime. At this point, you know you’ve messed up.

Olayoyin Olorunmota

July 2, 2023

Inside Life

Funny, Nigeria, Nigerians
Things You Can Do Now That The Football Season Is Over

The 2022/2023 season is over. Since there’s no more mainstream football to consume, here are the things you can do to pass the time till next season begins.

Play football

Source: Zikoko memes

You’ve been slandering footballers all year. It’s time to go outside and put your money where your mouth is. Who knows, a scout might see you and your journey to football stardom will begin.

Follow the latest transfers

Source: Fabrizio Romano

Transfers are interesting. One minute, your captain is telling you how much he loves the team the next you hear he’s moved to Zikoko FC for 6 Kegs of fuel. Here we go.

Get into a relationship

Source: Zikoko memes

Yes, you might get heartbroken, but your team probably did worse to your heart last season than any relationship can. Take that leap of faith.

Rest

Source: Zikoko memes

You need to recover all the energy you spent over the last year defending your club. It was most likely in vain but you need to prepare for next season. The supporters of rival clubs will be taking no prisoners next season.

Read

Source: Zikoko memes

I know reading can be difficult, but that’s only when you read boring stuff. Read Zikoko articles. You’ll never be bored.

Write

Source: Zikoko memes

If you don’t think reading isn’t fun, maybe writing will be. Songs, poems, and stories will do. A diss track for a rival club ahead of next season>>>

Pray

Source: Zikoko memes

Pray to the god of banter so next season favours your team. Things might still go south but at least you know you tried.

Olayoyin Olorunmota

July 2, 2023

Inside Life

Football, Funny, Nigeria, Nigerians
Interview With Shame: “Even If You’re Shameless, You Still Need Shame.”

Shame has been dragged back and forth for too long, with some people claiming they don’t need it and others claiming they do.

Today on Interview With, Shame has decided to break his silence with five words.

Shame: Take me or leave me.

Zikoko: Sir?

Shame: That’s all I have to say.

Zikoko: That’s what you called us here to say?

Shame: Is there supposed to be more? Look, what a thousand-year-old tortoise sees on the back of its shell, a newborn won’t see it, even if he stands on the back of another tortoise. But on this matter, everybody is seeing the same thing.

Zikoko: Meaning?

Shame: This life has spoilt.

Zikoko: Sir?

Shame: Yes. You people have been saying you can’t shame the shameless, you can’t shame the shameless. Now, everybody is roaming about without shame.

Everybody’s nyash is in the open. You people just open your mouth to tell everybody your… What do you people call it? When you lose, when you fail at something? It’s a letter. Remind me now.

Zikoko: L?

Shame: Exactly.

Zikoko: That’s fine. Some people actually think it’s motivational.

Shame:

To tell the internet secrets that even the military shouldn’t be able to get out of you?

Zikoko: It’s not like they are sharing security details.

Shame: Ehn?! Please, don’t come into my house and lie. I will not accept that one. Ahn ahn.

Zikoko:

Shame: See, I’m not saying you people shouldn’t say what’s on your chest. I’m just saying some of you need small shame, just tiny. Tell them to come here with their party pack or cooler, and I will give them.

Zikoko:

Shame: The way you’re doing now, it’s like I’m telling you to beg them to patronise me, and I don’t like that. I don’t want their money, please. Right now, I’m doing charity. Come to me all ye who are shameless, and I will give you shame.

Zikoko: Just like that?

Shame: Just like that. Are you not tired of seeing things that don’t concern you all over the internet? Things your eyes should never see?

Zikoko: Now, it sounds like you’re running an ad.

Shame: I don’t think you heard the “charity” I said the first time. I’m not doing it for myself o. It’s for their good. Because the next thing I’ll hear now is, “Who shame help?”

If people had me, they would not spend five days talking about one thing that doesn’t concern anybody.

They’d remember they have a job and a life. Half of the internet wahala would be gone.

Zikoko: I don’t think that would solve it.

Shame leans on his cane and gets up.

Shame: That’s your business.

They said you people have been shouting “Bring back shame. Bring back shame” since. Tell them that I’ve been here — no leave, no transfer. If they want me, they should come and get me.

Chioma Munachi

June 30, 2023

Inside Life, Interview With…

Shame
Marine Disasters in Nigeria That Claimed Lives

The recent OceanGate submersible incident which claimed five lives gripped the attention of the world.

Even though deep-sea exploration hasn’t entirely picked up in Nigeria, we’ve had a number of waterway transportation mishaps that resulted in major loss of lives. Here are some of the painful incidents.

Source: Marine Link

Nigeria’s sunken $103.4 million gunboat, 2021

In April 2022, a patrol gunboat in the Global West Vessels Specialists (GWVS) sank at the Kirikiri Terminal, Apapa Lagos. The boat was acquired more than 10 years ago at the whooping sum of $103.4 million and was delivered to the country in January 2012.

Assistant director of the Nigerian Maritime Administration and Safety Agency (NIMASA), Osagie Edward, maintained that both the boat and the management were still under investigation. Edward said the boat had been the subject of litigation and was under the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC)’s custody.

Kwara boat disaster, 2023

Source: The Nation

More than a hundred passengers met an untimely death on June 12, 2023, on their way to Niger state after attending a relative’s wedding in Kwara state. A vessel conveying the passengers capsized and split into two on the Niger River near Pategi, Kwara state.

Reports claimed that more than 200 people boarded the boat, which was way past its capacity of 100 passengers. Kwara police spokesman, Okasanmi Ajayi, in a statement, said: “One part of the boat by the engine side collapsed where water penetrated the boat, which ultimately led to the boat capsizing.”

A survivor of the boat mishap told the BBC that many died trying to save their children from drowning. Alhassan’s sister survived but not her 7-year-old son. President Bola Tinubu, Emir of Patigi Ibrahim Umar Bologi II and Governor of Kwara AbdulRahman AbdulRazaq were among public leaders who expressed sympathies for the families of the deceased.

Anambra boat accident, 2022

Yet another marine disaster rocked the nation in October 2022, when a boat carrying at least 80 people capsized in the Ogbaru area of Anambra state.

According to the BBC, most of the passengers aboard were women and children who had fled their community after it had been heavily flooded. Former president Muhammadu Buhari offered his condolences to family members of the deceased passengers. No rescue operations could be carried out. The south-east coordinator of the National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA), said, “The water level is very high and too risky for a smooth search and rescue operation.” About 76 people were confirmed dead.

Kebbi boat mishap, 2021

Source: Channels

In May 2021, some residents (mostly women and children) of Lokon Minna departed the village in central Niger state on a boat trip to a market in Warra Kebbi state. The boat conveying between 150 and 200 passengers collided with an object in the river which caused it to split into two and sink. According to Yahaya Sarki, a spokesman for the then governor of Kebbi, Abubakar Atiku Bagudu, it was hard to determine the number of people lost to the boat mishap.

However, during a condolence visit from Gov. Bello Matawalle of Zamfara, Bagudu revealed that only 22 survivors were rescued, with 72 bodies recovered.

Niger River boat mishap, 2017

In September 2017, an overcrowded boat conveying passengers on the Niger River in north-western Nigeria capsized. According to the BBC, at least 33 bodies, including that of children, were recovered from the ocean.

The unfortunate incident, which happened on a Wednesday in Lolo village in Kebbi state, didn’t get any media coverage until Friday. Suleiman Mohammed Karim, a NEMA coordinator, told the AFP that survivors claimed about 150 people travelled on the boat, which only had a capacity of 70. Of the 150, about 84 people were rescued, with other missing passengers presumed dead.

Lagos boat mishap, 2022

Tragedy struck in the Sumola Aniajogun family of Ibeshe after 16 relatives lost their lives in a boat accident along the Ojo area of Lagos state. The W19 passenger fibre boat they boarded was headed to Ibeshe from Mile 2 when it capsized.

The Lagos State Waterways Authority (LASWA) confirmed that a distress call reporting the incident was placed at about 7.45 p.m. on a Friday. The passengers included children and they all had their life jackets on. According to LASWA, the boat broke the waterway rules against late travelling by setting sail at 7 p.m.

Rescue missions by LASWA, National Inland Waterways (NIWA) and Nigerian Marine Police and the State Emergency Management Agency (LASEMA) all proved abortive with only the boat found after hours of searching.

Calabar boat mishap, 2023

Source: Issues Magazine

One of the most recent marine disasters in Nigeria involved medical students who were attending the Nigerian Medical Students’ Association (NIMSA) health week. The students had hopped on a boat cruise to visit a Slave Trade site at a resort as part of social activities for the week, but things took an ugly turn.

According to a statement released by NIMSA, 13 students were onboard along with a driver. Shortly after takeoff, the engine went off, causing water to get into the boat before it eventually capsized. Naval officers were able to save ten out of 13 students who were onboard. Cross River commissioner of police, Gyogon Augustine Grimah, confirmed the death of the three medical students.

Got a story to share? Send a pitch here.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

June 26, 2023

Inside Life

Kwara boat accident, marine, Nigerians, waterway