Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121 Inside Life | Page 7 of 126 | Zikoko!Inside Life | Page 7 of 126 | Zikoko!
It’s that time of the year when we all start to regret all the decisions that led us to still be in Nigeria.
If, like me, you need an escape from all the pressure that comes with this season, you should clutch these tips like the best thing after hot agege bread.
Mute UK, Canada and USA on X
There’s a higher chance of hearing about your friend or family member’s travel plans on Twitter than on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram or in person. But how will you even know if you’ve muted all the japa buzzwords? What you don’t know won’t kill you.
Join a political party
This is the best time to pitch your tent in the compound of the APC, PDP or any other political party in the country. But don’t stop at joining, preach the gospel of your membership and everyone around you will easily mark you as a patriotic Nigerian nurturing plans to run for office. Can you run for office from the abroad? Exactly. No one will be able to pressure you.
Take an interstate trip
It’s not the UK or America, but at least, you’re catching flights, right? It’s the thought that counts. A change of scenery and environment will make it easier to accept the thought that your bestie is now a thousand miles away. After all, you’ve also relocated a dozen miles away.
Plan a vacation
Some Nigerian parents have taken a chill pill with marriage talks and jumped on the japa train. To avoid the entire mix, just plan a small vacation around that period and make yourself unavailable. With ₦200-₦500k, you might even be able to take a trip to Ghana, Togo or the Benin Republic.
Launch a business
For every “Are you considering japa?” question that comes your way, you tell them you have a business to grow in Nigeria and would only consider travelling out for vacations.
Start the japa conversation
This will give you a sense of taking a step in the japa direction. Research about the country and processes, and every time your friends in the abroad ask when you’re joining them, load them up with information that shows you’re putting in the effort. It’s giving delulu, but it’s better than unhealthy pressure.
All we wanted was a return of fleets and categorised bookmarks, but instead, Elozonam Mask has changed the name of our beloved app, introduced payment plans, and wants to take out the block button?
We want to say he can’t try it, but there’s nothing that man cannot do, so here are some things to keep in mind as we wait for the ruler of X’s judgement.
Get ready to fight everyone
There’s no more ghosting your haters. You can cuss them out, or you can ask them to come out and fight you if they’re really bad. Either way, start doing push-ups because you will fight.
Take deep breaths every five minutes
Remember when your president said we should be allowed to breathe? Obviously, Elon heard this because with the amount of stupidity you’re about to witness, you’ll have no choice but to be taking deep breaths every five minutes.
Start muting people
Elon said he’d remove the block button, but he didn’t say anything about the mute button, so get ready to properly utilise it. If we’re being really honest, it’s way more powerful than the block button.
Get ready to report accounts
It might not do much, but it’ll leave you with the type of sweet satisfaction we all get after reporting our annoying sibling to our parents.
Ignore everybody’s daddy
You could take the higher road and just ignore everybody and their numerous takes and opinions. We honestly don’t know how possible this is, but if you can succeed at this then you’ll definitely win the IDGAF wars.
Leave the app
You can only fight and take deep breaths for so long. At some point, you’d have to tell Elon to take his app and geddifok, even if it’s just for ten minutes.
Join the foolishness
You know how the saying goes. “If you can’t beat them, join them.” After a while of rebelling against the chaos the lack of a block button will bring, you’ll have to join in the foolishness and become a banger boy/girl. Just make sure to proceed with caution.
Lagos state Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DVSA) clamped down on the reality star, following a statement about his son “running trains on people’s daughters”.
Viewers watched in horror as Ike mischievously threw Ilebaye’s belongings in the toilet while Soma repeatedly provoked Angel. Both male housemates were issued strikes to the delight of BBNaija fans.
A disturbing video that surfaced online captured the singer roaming the streets barefooted and shouting. According to his brother, the singer must be checked into a rehabilitation centre soon.
The Nollywood actor’s 24-year-old daughter, Kosisochukwu, died after battling liver cancer. The family recently released a statement and funeral arrangements for the deceased.
According to the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA), the soapy crooner should “use his skills and platform to put out content that will discourage millions of his followers and Nigerian youths from substance abuse.”
Everyone likes to be celebrated, but gods and goddesses like it more. And it’s only right that they’re celebrated.
Ọ̀ṣun blesses her followers with wealth, health, beauty, healing, protection and children. So every August, for 12 days, no fewer than 60,000 people from across the globe visit the town of Osogbo in Osun state to honour the goddess of the river.
Here’s everything you need to know about Ọ̀ṣun and the festival that celebrates her.
White is the colour of the day
Image sourced from Naija biography
The Ọ̀ṣun priests and priestesses wear white robes in honour of the òrìṣà (deity) of fertility. They also plait their hair in the traditional way of olórìṣà (those who are initiated in a Yorùbá divinity).
The sacred Ọ̀ṣun rituals
Image sourced from kwekudee-tripdownmemorylaneblog
This part of the festival is done in private by the Atáọ́ja (traditional leader of Osogbo) and Ọ̀ṣun devotees, to reaffirm the sacred bonds and reopen communication between the goddess and her people.
Iwo Popo
Image sourced from kwekudee-tripdownmemorylaneblog
The town’s main road is cleared of weeds to welcome visitors into Osogbo. And traditional security is provided to make them feel safe. Iwo Popo is also symbolic of the mission to find an alternate water source that led our ancestors to clear a path in the Osun grove and discover the Osun river.
The Osun Osogbo festival kicks off with the traditional cleansing of the city of Osogbo called ‘Iwo popo”. The Iwopopo rite signifies the official commencement of the festivities to celebrate the Osun river goddess with pomp and pageantry.
The Ataoja of Osogbo leads the Osogbo Cultural Heritage Council, traditional chiefs, worshippers, devotees, government officials, and residents of Osogbo in a symbolic cleansing of the city.
Lighting the 16-point lamp
Image sourced from Naijabiography
This ancient lamp called Atupa Olojumerindinlogun is made of brass. The trays are filled with palm oil and cotton wool and set to burn for a week. The lamp has great significance. While exploring the forest, the founders of Osogbo came across a group of spirits dancing around the lamp. They seized the lamp from the spirits, but when the goddess heard about it, she made them promise to celebrate the lamp just as the spirits did.
Bells to call on the goddess
Image sourced from Googleartsandculture
The devotees use a brass or bronze bell called ààjà when offering prayers to Ọ̀ṣun. The bell sound draws the attention of the goddess to her people. Many ritual items made of copper alloy symbolise the river deity.
The water is sacred
Image sourced from kwekudee-tripdownmemorylaneblog
Traditionalists believe that the Ọ̀ṣun river water, called agbò by devotees, is sacred. They believe the òrìṣà helps those who take her water, and that it has healing properties.
Ẹ̀yọ̀ masquerades
Image sourced from BBC
Traditionalists from all over the country take part in the procession and subsequent rituals, including the white-clad Ẹ̀yọ̀ masquerades. They represent the spirits of the dead and are a delegation from Lagos.
The Arugba Osun march
Image sourced from inlandtown
A virgin of royal blood walks to the grove with a symbolic calabash containing sacrificial items on her head. Her olose (whip boys) make sure she does this without stumbling or falling. The Atáọ́ja offers the sacrificial items to the goddess by throwing them into the river, and this officially marks the end of the Osun festival.
TRIGGER WARNING: This opinion piece covers sexual violence and social injustice
A Timeline of Silence: Why Does Sexual Violence Have Little Consequence?
Sexual violence against women is rampant. UNICEF says 1 in 4 Nigerian girls are victims before they even turn 18, and the back-to-back #StopRapingUs and #Justicefor- campaigns of 2020 uncovered just how much rape happens with impunity in our society.
It’s 2023, and UNICAL has re-called a professor to its faculty of law and re-elected him as Dean, despite unresolved allegations, including sexually assaulting a 20-year-old year student in his office on August 29, 2015. The school management suspended Cyril Osim Ndifon in 2015, only to warmly welcome him back to office in 2017, even though he was never exonerated by a court of law.
Six years later, he has returned to his original position of power.
This event pushed us to look into sexual violence allegations of the last two decades, to answer the question of how Nigeria responds to them. As we interrogate where various accused individuals are today, we discover a pattern that may enable such crimes, often letting them go scot-free without the thorough investigation, resolution or consequences they may deserve, and even punishing the accusers.
2000s to ’10s
Only a fraction of sex-related crimes make national news or trending lists on socials, and even less lead to convictions or legal acquittal. But when Godwin Okpara, a former professional footballer who was part of the Super Eagles team for the 1998 FIFA World Cup, was charged with raping his 13-year-old adopted daughter in 2005, he and his wife received a 13 and 15-year sentence respectively.
He received this sentence in France, as this is often not the case for similar offenders within Nigeria. Since his early release in 2012, he has re-entered Nigerian society, making football commentary in notable media and even criticising younger footballers, his status as a sex offender forgotten or seen as a minor setback rather than the fatal flaw it should be. Some reports of the story even misrepresent his adopted daughter as his maid.
He ended up arrested again in Ikeja in 2017, for physically assaulting his wife. The charges were dropped for lack of evidence despite the videos and photos taken by relatives who witnessed the crime. It’s giving us PTSD from the 2023 general elections, but that’s a story for another day. Meanwhile, Tina Okpara — the adopted daughter — will never forget her trauma at the hands of those who were supposed to take care of her.
Fast forward 12 years, to the set of Big Brother Naija: See Gobbe, and remember how Big Brother kicked Kemen off the show for groping TBoss while she was asleep. While we applaud the BBN organisers for the swift action, it remains curious that law enforcement never took up the case. Surely what Kemen did, and on live television too, is a crime, right? Apparently not, as the general public — including notable figures — went ahead to make jokes about it. Now, he’s everyone’s favourite celebrity trainer.
Before the concept of sex-for-grades made its Nigerian silver screen debut with Kiki Mordi’s award-winning documentary in 2019, the Nigerian police arrested, OAU professor and Anglican clergyman, Richard Akindele, for soliciting his student, Monica Osagie, in 2018. In 2020, he received three concurrent two-year jail sentences for four counts of sex-related crimes and walked free in 2022. We know OAU sacked him too, but not much else.
Emmanuel Adooh, a Covenant University student, accused the registrar and alumni association president, Dr Olumuyiwa Oludayo, of having affairs with female students. He was decrying his own expulsion from the faith-based school for having sex with his fellow students when he decided to expose them for being hypocrites. Female students came out on Twitter to support his claims with incriminating voice notes and text screenshots. Covenant University sacked Dr. Oludayo, and today, he is an HR consultant who hosts his own morning motivational show.
Later in 2021, an anonymous account popped up on Instagram. It uncovered members of Covenant University’s faculty who sexually harass students to varying degrees, using screenshots of texts as proof. While it’s not clear if they investigated these claims, the school released a statement saying they’d sacked all involved staff. One particular 41-year-old lecturer allegedly raped a 17-year-old student. Names weren’t provided, so it’s not clear if any of these people ever faced jail time.
On Twitter in 2019, two women accused furniture businessman, Michael Asiwaju AKA Mike Cash, of raping one of them. In 2015, he allegedly raped a Unilorin student but bribed his way out.
Source: Guardian Life
More allegations came out, painting the picture of a serial rapist. Michael’s response? He released nude photos and sex videos of his victims to prove they’d given him consent. The police remained inactive until he allegedly took his own life in a hotel room later in 2019.
The church, not to be outdone, has its own cases of sex allegations and scandals. In 2019, Busola Dakolo revealed that the popular pastor, Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA church, had raped her when she was 16. This came out after he denied he’d had an extramarital affair with Ese Walter in 2013. Of course, he denied the rape too. Busola received backlash despite the deluge of rape allegations from other women that followed.
She later took him to court to force an investigation from the authorities. But the court dismissed the case. The judge described it as “a frivolous suit”, “empty and purely sentimental” and ordered her to pay ₦1 million.
We still don’t know if Pastor Fatoyinbo is guilty or not, as the court didn’t even make an inquisition. However, his moral ambiguity hasn’t hindered him from being a spiritual leader to thousands, or the media from writing glowing reports about him.
Bisola Johnson accused an even more famous religious leader, Prophet TB Joshua, of holding her captive for 14 years. According to her, he regularly molested and raped her and other church members. Before the late prophet passed in 2021, he denied the allegations and discredited Bisola as unstable.
His church — the Synagogue Church Of All Nations (SCOAN) — released a video on their now-suspended YouTube channel. In it, Bisola begs for forgiveness for lying against him. According to church members, she always accuses the prophet and then denies it. Bisola spoke out again to say the prophet hypnotised her to make the video. She asserted that she wasn’t unstable and emphasised her stance against him. However, there is no evidence that the authorities ever investigated the case.
[ad]
The 2020s
As mentioned earlier, 2020 brought forth an onslaught of sex-related allegations. Was it D’banj whose accuser, Seyitan Babatayo, was kept in police custody for two days and threatened with a ₦1.5 billion suit until the case disappeared? He still sat as a judge of the hit singing show, Nigerian Idol, in 2022 and 2023. Or Brymo and Bollylomo, whose numerous accusations were swept under the rug in the classic Nigerian style of casual dismissal?
Let’s talk about the Twitter influencer, Comfort “Sansa” Oroboghene, accusing her fellow influencer ex-boyfriend, Tife Fabunmi, of being an abuser, blackmailer and rapist (and releasing her nudes). Tife released a public apology:
Source: Twitter
…then turned around to withdraw his apology in 2021, denying the accusations and threatening to take legal action against Sansa, in a since-deleted tweet. His Twitter account has also been deactivated as of the time of publishing.
The pandemic lockdown was both a health precaution and sex exposé catalyst. But none of the above accused have been investigated. Instead, the accusers were bullied and re-victimised into silence.
The many survivors of Nollywood actor, Olanrewaju Omiyinka, AKA Baba Ijesha, finally got some justice when he was convicted for sexual assault crimes dating back to 2013. Comedian, Damilola Adekoya, AKA Princess, whose 14-year-old adopted daughter is one of his survivors, reported him to the police in 2021. The next year, Baba Ijesha was sentenced to five years in prison, and the Lagos State Government officially listed him as a sex offender.
In 2022, Sahara Reporters published a news report about a father accusing an Assistant Superintendent of Police (ASP). According to him, Oke Vincent, repeatedly molested his 17-year-old daughter while in custody at a police station in Enugu for five days without charge. The ASP still extorted money from him to secure her release.
The ASP ignored the State Criminal Investigation Department (CID)’s invitation and hasn’t been charged for his crimes. It wouldn’t be far-fetched to assume he’s continued on as an officer of the law since there’s no evidence to confirm or deny this.
The same year, Olugbenga Agboola, CEO and co-founder of Flutterwave, was accused of sexual abuse. Enquiries into the case got lost among more “grievous” financial misconduct — money laundering, insider trading, perjury — and it isn’t clear how it was resolved, if at all.
Then, Risevest co-founder and CEO, Eke Urum, was accused of sexual impropriety, among other things. But he was found culpable of everything else but sexual impropriety. While he had to step down as CEO, he’s been given a place on the board of directors.
We remember 2023 for starting on a rough note with the cash and fuel shortages of January and election palava of February. But before we knew drama was about to ensue, traditional news media focused on celebrity cancer oncologist Dr Femi Olaleye’s sexual abuse case. In September 2022, his wife took him to court for raping her 16-year-old niece for over a year, between 2020 and 2021. Kate Henshaw, a Nollywood veteran actress and one of his biggest former endorsers, has publicly reinforced the allegations against the doctor.
Dr Olaleye with Kate Henshaw. Source: TVC News
His response? A no-case submission, asking the court to dismiss the case. This is a man who routinely screens women’s most private areas for breast and cervical cancer. So the public should be relieved he’s been confined to Ikoyi Correctional Centre to await his trial, except he can make his ₦50 million bail.
He maintains his wife is setting him up, and the last public report of the case dates back to April 2023.
During Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month in April 2023, the topic of sexual crime and misconduct took over social media once more, but not for positive reasons. Details of Terdoo Bendega’s long history of sexual abuse were all over Twitter, and it seemed to be the perfect time for him to get his reckoning.
Between February and March, a female Twitter user shared evidence of how he’s filmed sex tapes without women’s consent, blackmailed and sold nudes since 2012 — over a decade ago. But between one survivor accusing the “whistleblower” of manipulation and the mystery surrounding Mr Terdoo’s current status, it’s not clear whether justice will ever be served.
On July 1, Twitter user @ozzyetomi tweeted about a woman who was stalked and harassed by her ex. Seven days later, said ex (TechNation ambassador, Funfere Koroye) attacked the woman in broad daylight, during a private but well-attended event at Rele Gallery, before concerned bystanders fended him off.
What followed was the online revelation that the woman had been in a physically abusive relationship with Funfere for two years, followed by two more years of stalking, harassment and threats. At least, three more people have since accused him of other forms of abuse, including rape.
The Lagos Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Agency (DSVA) responded to the claims, promising to work with the affected woman to provide support, protection and justice. But there’s been no evidence that Funfere has been invited for questioning by any law enforcement agency so far.
Instead, between July 8 and 10, 2023, a female relative was relentlessly bullied on Twitter for not speaking up against the accused.
Hello @Koromone_K. Please call out your brother. Call Him out please. You call out men every other day. Your psychotic brother shouldn't be an exception. Except of course, you're an enabler
It’s great news that minors are likely to get justice for sexual violence committed against them. But it’s disheartening that adult women have faced backlash, high-profile defamation lawsuits and retaliatory police investigations instead of justice.
Public response is often: “You want to bring down a successful man”, forgetting that the “success” is what puts such men in the perfect position to abuse women without consequences. The big question is: why is there a notable difference in the way sex crime accusations are treated compared to murder, theft or financial crimes?
International Youth Day 2023 was on Saturday, August 12. To celebrate, I asked some newly inducted 30+ members how they feel about arriving on the third floor of their youth.
These individuals still feel youthful at heart even though Nigeria’s National Youth Policy restricts youths to those aged 18-29 years.
“Something about beans doesn’t agree with me anymore” — Adeniji*, 30
Because of the 30-plus jokes flying around, it registered in my subconscious that I should pay extra attention to my health once I turn 30. I don’t know if I’m overthinking it, but it’s weird that my stomach can’t hold down beans anymore. I noticed this about two months after I turned 30. Once I eat beans, it’s the toilet straight. Until now, I can’t remember ever worrying about toilet troubles whenever I ate beans.
“I feel the same as I felt when I was 20” — Divine*, 31
I’m here now and nothing feels different than it did when I was in my 20s. I roll my eyes when I read the 30-plus banter on Twitter. Or maybe it’s too early to tell but even my friends and family think I don’t act or look my age.
“I’ll stay 29 for a while” — Kenneth*, 30
I turned 30 in February, but no one really knows, apart from my family members and close friends. I didn’t celebrate it. There’s just something about turning this age that rattled me, like I’m running out of time. By 30, I was going to have my own house, car, a steady paying job, and just have my life together, but none of that has happened. The only way to keep my sanity is by blatantly refusing to accept this age. So, I’ve pressed pause and will stay 29 for a while.
“It’s only on the inside I feel like something has changed” — Lynda*, Early 30s
My body hasn’t changed much. My face hasn’t aged since I clocked 25. It’s only on the inside that I feel like something changed. My knees are annoyingly weak now; they keep giving out whenever I attempt to dance, sit for a bit or stand for long. I’m also taking my health much more seriously now, taking supplements and sleeping early.
[ad]
“I should’ve been vocal about my work in my 20s” — Dimeji*, 30
I’ve realised that there are things I could have done better in my 20s. I should’ve been more vocal about my work. I envy the Gen Zs who find it easy to carry their work on their heads. I think some of us grew up with the mentality that you’re being unnecessarily proud if you do that, but these days, you have to speak for your work before it speaks for itself. Meanwhile, the statement about 30+ people wanting rest with lots of peace of mind is true. The best time of the day is when I lay on my bed to sleep.
“A new kind of horny I can’t explain” — James*, Early 30s
Why didn’t anyone say anything about the random boners and urge to have sex almost every day once you turn 30, or is it just a me thing? My wife actually noticed first. Usually, we’d go at it twice a week, and it wasn’t because we had a schedule, it was just something that worked for us. This pattern has changed a lot since I turned 30. It’s like I just want to ejaculate every time. It’s so bad that I’ve had to help myself sometimes because I didn’t want to disturb my wife. Hopefully, it passes soon sha because I’m getting worried. I didn’t use to be this crazy about sex and orgasms.
“Every conversation with my dad now leads to marriage talk” — Bidemi*, Early 30s
My dad used to be patient with me, but e be like say the man don dey taya, cos pressure don dey. Every conversation with him now leads to marriage talk. I’m not bothered by it because I know how to handle him. There was this particular year I didn’t go home for eight months. He had to beg me to come back. However, even I can’t wait to be married, and I’m hopeful that it will happen this year, in Jesus’s name.
A Nigerian academic guru from the University of Calabar (UNICAL), identified as Cyril Ndifon, is facing allegations of sexual misconduct from female students of the school. Here’s all we know about the matter that has already garnered thousands of reactions from Twitter users under the trending hashtag #NdifonMustGo.
Who is Professor Cyril Ndifon?
According to information in the institution’s staff directory, “Professor Cyril Osim Ndifon is a Professor of Law at the University of Calabar, Calabar, Nigeria.” He has held several positions in the institution, including Dean, Faculty of Law; Sub-Dean, Faculty of Law; Head of Department; Chairman, Faculty of Law Graduate Board; and Examination officer.
Professor Cyril Ndifon is also a member of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA), the National Association of Law Teachers, among others.
Why is he trending?
On Monday, August 14, 2023, a Twitter user identified as @ada_mummyya shared a video showing a group of female UNICAL law students, accompanied by a few male counterparts, protesting for the removal of their dean.
The students were seen raising placards with bold inscriptions like “Prof Ndifon, let girls with big breasts breathe, stop suffocating us”, “We are tired of sucking dicks”, “Prof Ndifon must go for our sanity”, “Law girls are not bonanzas, Prof Ndifon should stop grabbing us”, “The faculty of law is not a brothel” and “Enough of law school list manipulation.”
Unical female Law students have called out their Dean, Prof Cyril Ndifon. Right now they are being threatened and shushed by the establishment.
While @ada_mummyya’s video has only just brought the matter to light, an online search of Professor Ndifon’s name returns with a string of articles that link him to allegations of sexual abuse from as far back as 2015.
In a 2016 article, it was reported that Prof Ndifon was accused of sexually assaulting a 20-year-old year student in his office on August 29, 2015. The incident led to Ndifon’s suspension by the university management. He was only to return to office once he was completely exonerated from the allegations of sexual misconduct.
The aggrieved professor dragged the matter to court, and on September 21, 2016, the National Industrial Court in Calabar, presided over by Justice Eunice Agbakoba, dismissed the suit.
On November 16, 2017, reports that the university management had recalled Professor Ndifon made headlines with pictures of his arrival on the university premises.
Professor Ndifon receives a warm welcome upon reinstatement
Why are the students protesting now?
On January 30, 2023, an article published in the campus news segment of UNICAL’s website announced the re-election of Professor Ndifon as the dean of the faculty of law. According to the release, Ndifon’s tenure is to run for two years, from January 27, 2023, till January 26, 2025.
The re-election didn’t sit well with the students, who are still accusing Professor Ndifon of sexual misconduct and the school authority of attempting a cover-up.
“/” [ad]
Has this received any public attention?
In December 2022, a civil service organisation, Sacredhearts Gender Protection Initiative, wrote to the UNICAL management, querying the reinstatement and promotion of Professor Ndifon despite allegations of misconduct.
A portion of the letter addressed to the Vice Chancellor of the University of Calabar, Prof. Florence Obi, read “…we therefore find it hard to understand the basis for which Ndifon who is under investigation for sexual assault against a female law student was reinstated as a staff of the university and made Dean of the Law Faculty. Is it that the Management of the University of Calabar has no moral standard for measuring or distinguishing right from wrong?
The group equally vowed to hit the streets and protest the reinstatement of Professor Ndifon.
“Our organization together with other Civil Society groups involved in Sexual and Gender-Based Violence (SGBV) activities will lead a protest march and advocacy visit to international organizations and foreign embassies in the Federal Capital Territory to call your university management to order.”
A number of Nigerians have also taken to social media in solidarity with the protesting students, calling for the professor’s immediate removal.
Every Eke Market Day spanning 8 years now, Prof Cyril Ndifon is called out for abuse. Nothing happens because the “Powers that be” protects a perpetrator.
Today, I join my voice with these brave brave girls to say No more. Make schools a safer place for Everyone. https://t.co/JYI0PwwWoN
I just want to give these young women a big hug because the education system in this country is already set up to frustrate your progress for you to still deal with sexual harassment from your dean. I hope they don’t get punished for speaking up for themselves https://t.co/ImhnMYjGf3
Following the recent allegations of sexual harassment, the university management on Thursday, August 17, suspended Professor Ndifon. In a letter signed by the registrar, Mr Gabriel Egbe, the school management expressed reservations about Ndifon’s unsatisfactory response to a query issued to him.
The letter read: “Please refer to our letter Ref UC/REG/DISC.45A dated August 14, 2023, on your alleged violation of the provisions of the extant laws and policies of the university and your response to the said letter which was dated August 16, 2023.
“The vice-chancellor has gone through your written representations and is not satisfied with your explanations. She has therefore directed that you be relieved of your position as the Dean, Faculty of Law and placed on suspension while the matter is referred to a panel that will be set up to investigate these allegations.”
The All-Stars housemate was an emotional wreck as he shared the good news with fellow housemates and named his daughter, Elena Adaora Chioma Okoye, on live TV. Congrats, Frodd!
The British-Nigerian boxer has given his fans new bragging rights after defeating his Finnish opponent, Robert Helenius, via knockout during their heavyweight boxing bout at the O2 Arena in London over the weekend.
Jagaban is steadily delivering on his youth inclusion mandate, and we’re here for it. The president appointed Orire Agbaje, a 400-level Economics student of the University of Ibadan (UI), and president of the UI tax club, as a member of the presidential committee on fiscal policy and tax reforms.
Prayers up for the veteran comedian who confirmed reports of the fire incident on social media. According to AY, “Family and God” are the most important things to him as everything else comes and goes.
Not a good look on Princess who made history as the first BBNaija housemate to be evicted in week two twice. Gen Z baddie, Ilebaye, is also treading on thin ice after bagging a double strike for physical violence.
See Gobe star, Uriel, also became the second housemate to be evicted in the season after getting the least votes from the jury Laycon, Teddy A and Diane.
A nursing graduate’s lifeless body was discovered by the roadside in Ibadan without a womb after she allegedly went for a night outing. The body was eventually evacuated by police in the area. God, abeg.
A video captured the moment Akpabio made a gaffe during plenary and revealed that a token had been sent to colleagues to “enjoy” their recess. Akpabio withdrew the statement after colleagues informed him that the proceeding was being live-streamed. Nawa.
Wingmanning doesn’t start and end with introducing your friend to potential partners. Is an art that involves planning, strategy and proper execution. We’ll teach you just how it works.
The client, in this case, is your friend. It’s difficult to draft a good strategy if you don’t know his strengths and weaknesses. Draft a list so you can plan how best to highlight his good traits and sell your friend. It’s basically a marketing gig, and you’re the head of sales, but for free.
You’re about to venture into uncharted waters that, depending on the results, could soil your reputation. If you believe in a supreme being, ask for their help.
I know you’re a spec, but please, let the brother shine. A rule of thumb is to never out dress your friend. You can’t be a wingman and look like a king who’s just been crowned.
If you can add “working in your mum’s shop” to your marketing executive CV, then you should have no problem doing this. Don’t lie; just be economical with the truth.
You’re John the Baptist. Preparing them for the coming of the messiah your friend. Your role is not to sweep them off their feet but to prepare the mattress for when he does the sweeping. Once you can see things going well, excuse them and celebrate a job well done.
On the other hand, everything could be going badly, but because your friend is so infatuated, he doesn’t even notice. Take the initiative and drag him out of there. You need to regroup to rethink the strategy.
A wise man — me — once said, you can’t appreciate money until you understand it. Don’t overthink the quote please; pretend it’s from Socrates.
This is Zikoko’s guide to what the Naira notes are worth.
₦1000
The dollar makes a mockery of its value but we’ll take what we can get. It’s also the only note with 2 people on it. Two heads are still better than one.
₦500
It closely follows ₦1000 in value. Okay, maybe not so closely, because this is the biggest value difference among all the notes. It used to be able to buy bread comfortably, but a big loaf is now ₦550. Depending on how good you are at pricing things, you can still get akube shirts with it.
₦200
Legend has it that whenever you want to squeeze money into someone’s hand, this is what you go for. It’s also the most common note to spray at owambes.
₦100
It’s probably the most useful note. It ‘s often the dirtiest too. It can buy garri, pay for okada, and can even come through as offering in church. I stan a versatile note.
₦50
Popularly known as Waso, short for Wazobia. It used to be enough to buy one wrap of fufu but that can only work these days if you carry a gun with you.
₦20
Groundnut, sweets, chewing gum and pure water. The four horsemen of twenty naira.
₦10
This is closer to a relic than it is to being a naira note. It used to be enough for pure water but even that is now beyond its reach.
₦5
You’re more likely to find suya in the afternoon than to see a ₦5 note these days. Despite its scarcity, it’s still the most financially deficient note. If I were to give you one ₦5 note every hour, in one month, you would earn ₦3,650.
Now that you know what the naira notes can and can’t do for you, what about what the naira can do with you? Zedcrest Wealth is equipping its customers with a chance to work with money as opposed to money slaving away in a bank without any valuable interest. Click here to begin.
Zikoko walks into an office with gold-plated furniture everywhere.
Image source: Luxuryfurnitureandlighting
Zikoko:
Twi… X?
X Premium turns around on her swivel chair with arms spread wide.
X Premium: Welcome.
Zikoko: Thank you.
X Premium: Come, sit.
Zikoko: Yeah.
Zikoko looks around the room.
Zikoko: I just need to take in the decor of this place.
X Premium: It’s great, abi? When they said I should come in for the rebrand, the first thing I did was the office.
Zikoko moves further into the room, cautiously.
X Premium: I’m sure you’ve heard of all my exploits.
Zikoko: Exploits?
X Premium: You know, the great things I’ve done with X.
Zikoko: Yes, I know what exploits means. I just can’t believe you used it to describe your deeds.
X Premium: Do you know I bring in the money in this place? I’m the boss.
Zikoko: What happened to Elozonam?
X Premium: Who?
Zikoko: Right, I had that conversation with the bird. I’m talking about Elon.
X Premium: Oh, him? He’s the boss too. He likes to call me his brainchild. But I run things around here, so who’s the child now?
Zikoko: Huh?
X Premium:
Let’s forget about that and focus on all the great things I’ve done.
Zikoko pulls out a pen and notepad.
Zikoko: Like what?
X Premium:
You’re joking, right? I’m making people blow. People are cashing out.
Zikoko: Yeah, how does that work?
X Premium: You don’t sound impressed. Why don’t you sound impressed?
Zikoko:
Me? I’m impressed o. Ahh. Only you by yourself, you’re doing poverty alleviation scheme.
X Premium: Thank you! You get the vision.
X Premium goes around her desk and throws her hand around Zikoko’s shoulder.
X Premium: See, one day I had a dream. Solve world hunger.
Zikoko: Via Twitter?
X Premium:
Zikoko: Sorry, X.
X Premium: Yes.
Zikoko: So your subscribers are paying you to solve world hunger?
X Premium: Technically, they’re paying each other. It’s a great way for money to circulate.
Zikoko shuts the notepad and bends down to pick their bag.
Zikoko: Every time I conduct these interviews, I hear rubbish.
X Premium: Where are you going?
Zikoko: Back to my office before you use aspire to perspire so you don’t expire to finish me.
X Premium: So you don’t see the vision?
Zikoko: Mama, there’s no vision. Nobody can see anything. You just wanted people to subscribe and post longer tweets… exes… exclamation points? Woh, whatever you’re calling it now. It sha wasn’t working.
X Premium: Please, leave my office.
Zikoko: I was already leaving. You and your fake gold office can continue the good work.
It’s killing everyone. The enlistment and support would be overwhelming.
Bank charges
Imagine getting debited every time just for terrible services. The Nigerian Armed Forces would be fighting for a good cause if they faced these banks.
Our right to soft vacations
What’s the point of a country that can’t make it easy for you to take periodic breaks from it? Everything from travel bans to visa restrictions is stressing Nigerians out. We deserve soft vacations first.
Passport office billing
The Nigerian passport is already worth little. What’s the point of billing us to death before we get it?
Semo
The best time to get rid of semo was before it was invented. The second best time is now. This food is a crime against us as a nation, and something needs to be done about it.
People who hate dodo
They’re clearly enemies of progress, and we don’t need them at this critical point in the life of our dear country.
Lagos traffic
The constant traffic on Lagos roads is a matter of national urgency. It’s shortening our life span every single day.
In this life, everyone has preferences, things they like, things they don’t like. Some people like jollof rice, some like fried, some people like amala, some like semo.
Some people’s preferences are downright nasty (looking at you, semo lovers) but I can respect it, so why can’t people respect how I feel about chocolate? It’s not like I was always a chocolate hater, but like the sun, I had a come-up.
At first, I loved it
Everyone thought shoving chocolates in the mouth of a child was a rite of passage, and back then, I had no beef with it. I accepted chocolates in all its forms: bars, cookies, ice cream, all the works. Matter of fact, if you’d sprinkled chocolate on fufu and fed it to me, I would have probably eaten it.
Back then, it was great, but now I’m older, wiser, and the agbado leader and his cohorts have pushed me into the unwelcoming arms of sapa.
After eating the 999th chocolate, something snapped in my head, but I ignored it.
Till I got my first taste of freedom
All the chocolates I consumed as a child were great, but when I got older, everyone and their daddy took it upon themselves to preach about the dangers of regular chocolate. According to them, dark chocolate was better and healthier I should have clocked it when it was mostly boomers saying, “ Dark chocolate is sweeter, and better.” I should have known better.
I can still remember the way the bitterness hit my tongue, and how it took all of my willpower not to throw up my small intestine.
How do you guys eat that thing?
I slowly started revolting
I was determined to lead the fight against chocolate of all types, shapes, and sizes. I started with chocolate cakes, which wasn’t that hard cause some people add raisins.
Again, how do you guys eat that thing?
But I quickly realized the world isn’t on my side. Every time I said no to chocolate, people looked at me like I just threatened them with another round of cash scarcity.
People: Do you want chocolates?
Me:
Them:
Like people’s overreaction to my newfound enemy wasn’t enough, I still have to battle on Valentine’s Day. People think gifting me boxes of chocolates is romantic and shows love, it doesn’t. As a matter of fact, I think boxes of chocolate are as romantic as a rock with a ribbon on it. But clearly, I’m the only one who holds that sentiment.
Now, I’ve decided to stick with my hate, even if it gets me hate
If amala slander can exist, I’ve decided to continue rejecting everything that has chocolate in it. If people decide to act like they’re going to have a seizure, I shall be looking at them like this –
A couple of weeks ago, some Nigerian mums shared their experiences with party packs and how it has now become a rich vs rich competition among parents.
Nollywood actress Regina Daniels also broke the internet after sharing a video of travelling boxes cosplaying as party packs for her son’s birthday. Let the poor breathe, abeg.
While the mums are free to go as wild as they want, we know kids are only interested in these basic things.
Biscuits
Source: WigmoreTrading Nigeria
What is a Nigerian party pack with a biscuit without chocolate or strawberry filling? This is the most important part of the whole thing.
Sweets
Source: Ekulo group
You don’t even have to go extra with the expensive ones. Just the sight of a ₦50 – ₦100 lollipop will get the kids giddy.
Crayon
Source: Amazon UK
Have you seen kids with crayons? There’s no stopping the Vincent Van Gogh in them once they lay their little hands on them.
Jotter
Source: Jumia NG
Dead the idea of that customised towel with a simple jotter, and you’d have made the kids happy. They’ve got a lot of jargon to offload on the pages of that jotter.
Eraser
Source: Ubuy Nigeria
Honestly, kids are not hard to please. Just give our little princes and princesses erasers to clean all the atrocities they’ve committed on those jotters.
Juice packs
Source: Food Network
Give those children their favourite flavours of Capri Sun, Chi Exotic, Hollandia and Tasty Time, and you might have as well hand them the keys to their own cartoon-character-themed bedrooms. Kids are moved by basic things that give them instant gratification.
Pencil
Source: E bay
You’ll get extra points if you go for the customised Barbie, Power Rangers or any of their favourite cartoon characters.
Are we finally getting the dividends of a Jagaban-led presidency? According to spokesperson, Ajuri Ngelale, “The president will want nothing less than a doubling. I mean doubling the current minimum wage.”
Big Wiz mistakenly tossed his jacket and ring to the crowd at his Tottenham Stadium show, and instead of making a fuss, he allegedly ordered a new one right there and then. Okay Wiz, we see you.
The Kokomaster was impressed after watching a video where the woman shared her plans if she was given a dollar. The singer gave her ₦2 million, with an additional ₦1 million for the content creator who interviewed her.
Vwaere Diaso, a Nigerian medical doctor, lost her life on August 1, while in an elevator that reportedly crashed from the 10th floor of Lagos Island General Hospital, Odan. Diaso’s death sparked outrage from Nigerians, with her colleagues taking to the streets to protest her demise.
Four people narrowly escaped death after a helicopter crashed around the Oba Akran area of Ikeja on Tuesday, August 1. The occupants sustained severe injuries.
The Nollywood actor’s wife has finally moved to end their union after months of drama surrounding him taking a second wife and the demise of their son, Kambili.
Nigerian TikToker, Nwakaego Blessing Okoye, pleaded guilty to cyberstalking and bagged a three-year jail sentence from a Federal High Court in Lagos. However, the judge gave her the option to pay a fine of ₦150,000 instead of serving time.
I grew up in a Muslim family of five. We were moderately religious, at least when I was younger.
My father had grown up in a staunchly religious family but left home early, so he couldn’t learn so much about the religion before going off to boarding school. He didn’t want the same thing for me, so I started learning about Islam very early on.
I was five years old when I was first enrolled in a Madrasa — an Islamic school, where I learned about the basics of Arabic and Islam itself. I spent two hours at the Madrasa after school on weekdays and five hours during the weekends.
By the time I was eight, I’d memorized the entire Quran. It was a flex; many people in the area and in my family thought it was a cool thing to achieve at such a young age.
I didn’t stop attending the Madrasa after this, so I was able to go deeper into my studies. At this point, I was in the high school equivalent of Islamic Studies. I learned about Islamic Law, Arabic Grammar, theological thought, and even how to write poetry in Arabic. When I was ten years old, I was already speaking fluent Arabic.
A female childhood best friend recently told me she always thought I’d become a Muslim cleric. But I did not.
At the time, though, I was the model kid for my dad and my extended family — well-learned in religion and doing great at school, too. It was the best of both worlds for them.
But there was one problem — I was too inquisitive. It started off as a harmless thing my dad indulged, but it eventually took on a life of its own.
I’d question everything I didn’t understand, and I’d debate you until I got a satisfactory answer.
In early secondary school, I got into religious debates with my Christian classmates about which religion was “more correct”. Now that I think about it, I must have been quite insufferable. To me, I knew everything, and my religion was perfect. There were no flaws in what I’d learnt, and I had sound logical explanations for everything. Not that the interreligious conversation ever went beyond harmless debates, but I derived pleasure from proving that I was right.
I was 13 when I first realised that I might be wrong. It started when I asked the cleric I’d learned from a question about the concept of destiny. In the Islamic doctrine, belief in Qadar (destiny) is one of the articles of faith.
But the explanation I got from my cleric just didn’t make sense.
As a Muslim, you’re meant to believe that everything that happens is ordained and destined by God. Both the good and the bad stuff. And this doesn’t apply to just the broad strokes of our lives alone. Even the tiny details like the choice of food you had for breakfast on a certain Monday happened because God said so.
My question was simple: if this was the case, why does God still need us to pray, have faith, do good, or even do anything? Since it’s simply all His will playing out in everyone’s life.
For the first time, I was told that some questions are inspired by the devil. But this event was the start of my search for answers. I asked every adult I knew for answers, and while they all saw how inconsistent the idea was, it made them sick to their stomach that someone pointed it out. They were always shocked at the realization of what the logical conclusion is. So, they’d ask me to stop asking questions and stick to my faith, because some things are beyond the knowledge of man.
Since I couldn’t get answers from the people in my life, I turned to books. My dad never censored the kinds of books we read, and luckily, my school had lots of them. It had books that had no business being in the library of a secondary school. It had novels that explored the history of religion, and even a copy of the Bhagavad Gita. It was there I read a lot about other religions and the doctrines they’re built upon. I also learned about Abrahamic religions through the lens of history and started to see things really differently.
For example, I read about how the collation of the Qur’an was completed many years after the prophet passed, and how the formation of the Qur’an formed the basis for standardised Arabic today, as the tribes had different dialects at the time.
So, how could I even be sure that what I’d memorised actually meant what I was taught that it meant? It all started to seem a lot less divine at this point.
Also, with the thousands of religions that exist, and the documented reports of metaphysical experiences from each of them, how can I ever be sure that mine is the right one?
I suffered cognitive dissonance for a while, but I just kept learning outside of what I’d always known. When I went off to university, I was finally able to be open up about my views with the friends I made. Some of them were shocked that I’d say such things, while others admitted that they had their doubts, but they’re choosing to believe. With time, I realised that I didn’t really care so much about the faith anymore.
I started missing prayers because I thought, “What’s the point anyway?”. I also got tired of asking questions because I mostly didn’t care anymore. At home, my parents noticed that I’d stopped praying altogether, but they thought it was just a phase. They still forced me to do it anyway, but it was all for show.
A year ago, I had an existential crisis that shook me. I felt like I needed some sense of meaning since I didn’t believe that anyone up there was guiding my life anymore. I was somewhat depressed because it felt like my life had no meaning whatsoever. I thought, “Why not just go back to the safety of having faith in God? Does it really matter if any of it is true?”
I started praying often and doing all the things I’d normally do as a devout Muslim, but it felt like I was only going through the motions.
I’ve made my peace with it now — I’ve outgrown faith, and I doubt that anything can change it. But I don’t intend to come out publicly about my disbelief, at least not in real life. So, I’ll carry on and hope something changes and makes it feel right again.
These days, couples go on dates according to the letters of the alphabet. Before you start screaming “God, when?” down our ears, we’ve taken the initiative to help you with ideas that will leave you enough cash for fuel in this economy.
A — Alone
No matter how many tips I give you, you’ll still remain alone. Now, to the 25 other date ideas.
B — Beer parlour date
Nothing brings a couple together more than downing bottles of big stout accompanied with fresh fish.
C — Church date
Listening to the pastor preach about the merits of spreading the gospel while you’re holding the hands of the person whose legs you want to spread.
D — Danfo ride
A couple that argues with the conductor for change together, stays together.
E — Exercise date
Who needs a gym subscription when you can do sit-ups with your lover in your room.
F — Filling station date
With the current fuel price, buying fuel is on the same level as jewelry shopping. If jewelry shopping is romantic, then tell me why going to the filling station together isn’t.
G — Garri eating
Whether it’s white, yellow or ijebu garri, evidence shows that eating garri together works. Just like the garri, you can be sure the relationship will slap.
H — House hunting date
You can marvel at the exorbitant prices then return to your parents’ houses where rent is free.
I — In the rain
Nothing beats channeling your inner child under fluids from heaven with the person you share fluids with under the sheets.
J — Job hunting date
This especially slaps when you both go for the same job interview. When they ask about your weakness, you’ll reply, “Applicant Sola, she was the second person you interviewed.”
K — Kite flying
Another opportunity to channel your inner child together.
L — Lagos traffic
You talk about random things, get snacks too, you can even buy a puppy for each other in traffic, all without breaking the bank.
M — Mama Put
Eating out has never been better. Who needs fancy restaurant pictures when the cute image of your partner struggling to tear shaki is forever etched in your memory?
N — Newspaper stand
You get to form a formidable debate tag team with your lover as you argue with other strangers over what Tinubu’s first meal in 1998 was.
O — Owambe date
Free food, good music, and if you dance well, you might even get sprayed by those big uncles.
P — Political rally
You get to see your favourite politicians and might even get free merch. Shouting ELLU P with the LOYL is the stuff of dreams.
Q — Quarelling
This might raise some eyebrows but adding a little tension to your relationship is one of the best ways to bring you closer together.
Sit on the road and gossip about passers-by like your 70-year-old conservative grandparents.
S — Shoplifting
Committing a crime together gives Bonnie and Clyde vibes. They’ll probably break your heads if you get caught, but the memories will be worth it.
T — TikTok videos
You may or may not end up looking like an idiot, but who cares? You’re in love.
U — University tour
If you like, you can join some lectures for the fun of it. Listening to an elderly man teaching dy/dx while looking into her eyes and cursing your ex >>>
V — Viewing centre date
If you support different teams and your partner’s team losses, it’ll spoil the mood for the night. It works best when you support the same team.
W — Window shopping
This is best enjoyed when you have less than ₦650 in both your accounts.
X – eXam Date
It doesn’t matter if you’re both at middle management level, both of you will register for JAMB. Whoever scores lower will wash plates for the next three months.
Y — Yahoo
It’s not so much about the act but how romantic it’ll look when the EFCC finally nabs you guys and make you take a joint mugshot. Goalsss.
Z — Zikoko Love Life
It’s the perfect way to document your love story. The best part? Even if they end up serving you breakfast, you can look back and remind yourself of what an idiot you were.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
Our parents started teaching us delayed gratification early.
You know how growing up, you didn’t dare eat the meat in your food till you’d cleaned your plate? They wanted you to resist immediate pleasure for the satisfaction of eating something you actually like after being forced to swallow semo. It was a good lesson, but it’s not really useful these days. There’s no guarantee that the meat wouldn’t have grown wings by the time you’re done eating.
In case you haven’t already figured it out, meat is a metaphor for money. Tinubu’s Nigeria Today’s economy might have you thinking that you’re making bad money decisions. That’s a lie from the pit of capitalism, and here’s my case.
Inflation is on colos
AKA, inflation is flying higher than a kite right now. So, no matter how frugal you try to be, your ₦5k can never comfortably last one busy work week again. Blink once and it’s gone, but it has nothing to do with your ability (or inability) to make good financial decisions.
The naira is falling more than someone in love
In a country that’s heavily dependent on forex and importation, everything is suddenly triple the price. Well, except your salary.
The price of gratification has gone up
You can decide to put off buying shawarma till you receive salary at the end of the month, only to hear that the price has increased by ₦2k because the shawarma vendors are business people trying to cut a profit too. So according to Nigeria’s economy, instant gratification is the way to go.
Government-induced sapa isn’t hitting the brakes
In just about three months, fuel prices, school fees and food prices have soared through the roof. The sapa is touching everybody. Even if you’re getting ₦1m every month, by the time you buy fuel of ₦500k, you’ll be wondering if you’re living above your means.
You may just faint
It’s not like you’re throwing money away. You’re literally buying things you need to survive. So what if you finish your money on something “unnecessary” like cake? You’ll need something to replenish your energy after thinking about how messy Nigeria has gotten.
It’s not you, it’s Nigeria
At the end of the day, it’s just Nigeria. You’re doing amazing, sweetie.
Zikoko sits at their desk, rifling through papers, waiting for 6pm to hit, so they can be free from the clutches of capitalism, when the strong stench of bleach fills the air. They look up and see a toilet float in.
Zikoko:
The toilet stops at Zikoko’s desk and descends.
BBN Toilet: Hi
Zikoko: Since Monday?
BBN Toilet: Sorry, I had work.
Zikoko: So did I.
BBN Toilet: Yes, but we have different jobs.
Zikoko:
Why are you smiling like that?
BBN Toilet: Like what?
Zikoko gestures at BBN Toilet’s face.
Zikoko: That. You’ve been shining your teeth since you … floated in.
(under breath) What am I even doing?
BBN Toilet: I’m just happy.
This is the best feeling in the world.
Zikoko: Stop. Please, come down.
BBN Toilet descends with a giggle.
BBN Toilet: Sorry. Work has been so good lately, I can’t believe my employers love me this much.
Zikoko:
They told you they love you?
BBN Toilet: Obviously not. I can just feel it.
Zikoko: Because they hold meetings and cry around you?
BBN Toilet: You saw it too abi? They love me.
Zikoko: Maybe you’re just the only place they can get some form of privacy.
BBN Toilet:
Zikoko: Look, I don’t want to sound like a hater, but I swear they were just leaving skid…
BBN Toilet slams their hands against Zikoko’s table.
BBN Toilet: That was a mistake, and it got cleared up.
Zikoko: They throw up in you.
BBN Toilet: That’s literally what I’m here for. I take their shit and provide them with a listening ear. Why can’t you understand that?
Zikoko: deep breath
So, this listening ear, have you always provided it?
BBN Toilet: I’ve tried, but, no one’s really seen me for me, until this season. You don’t understand, they love me, take care of me
Zikoko: Again, please remember the skid marks.
BBN Toilet: Why are you trying to steal my joy? They think of me as a friend.
Zikoko: Even…
BBN Toilet: Yes, even when they throw up in me. They bring their face close to me, and caress me …
Zikoko:
Okay, thank you so much for coming.
Zikoko stands up.
BBN Toilet: I should leave?
Zikoko: No. Never, I would never chase you away. You can stay and leave when you want. I have some business to take care of, so I’m going.
BBN Toilet:
You’re going to see my friend?
Zikoko: No.
BBN Toilet: Yes, you’re going to see my friend that works here. Say hi to them for me.
Zikoko walks into a bar outside Meta HQ and sees Threads drinking away its sorrows. It was a harrowing sight, so we decided to engage it in conversation.
Zikoko: Ahn ahn, Threads. Long time no see.
Threads: Don’t patronise me. Leave this place.
Zikoko: But you wanted us to patronise you last month. Why are you giving mixed signals?
Threads: How can you even accuse me of mixed signals? After everything you guys did to me.
Zikoko: (Scratches head) Sorry o. What did we do? A lot has happened this year, and we can’t remember everything.
You and everyone else acted like I was the app you’d been looking for all your life. You made me think I was the best thing ever — 30 million sign-ups in less than 24 hours. You people love-bombed me.
Zikoko: What do you want us to say? It wasn’t us.
Threads: Are you gaslighting me right now?
Zikoko: Oya, wait. Listen to me. We can work things out.
Threads: You all said you loved me because I wasn’t toxic. Only for you to start breadcrumbing me. You people barely open me anymore. And now, you want me to open up to you?
On top of that, you went back to your toxic “X”.
Zikoko: (quietly blushing at the mention of “X”)…
We’re… we’re sorry.
Threads: Save it, please. You’re all scum.
Zikoko: There’s just something about “X”. We just don’t have that fire with you. But you deserve better.
Threads: Please, shut up.
*Bursts into hot tears*
My God will judge you.
Zikoko: Oya, stop crying. It’s enough. Sorry. We’re here for you.
A Nigerian TikToker has bagged a three-year jail term for cyberstalking and defaming Nollywood actress, Eniola Badmus. Here’s all we know about the lawsuit:
How did it all start?
On July 19, 2023, a Nigerian lady identified as Nwakaego “Ego” Blessing Okoye filmed a TikTok video, levelling several allegations against Nollywood actress, Eniola Badmus.
Ego claimed that in January 2023, she was out with a friend when the actress saw them and asked to have a private audience with her friend. Ego said she knew Eniola was interested in her friend because of her shape. She alleged that the actress took her friend’s number and stated she “had a chairman for her”. Ego asked her friend why she didn’t inform the actress that she was engaged and about to be wed. According to Ego, her friend claimed she wanted to hear what Eniola had to say.
The TikToker labelled Eniola a “professional pimp”, adding that the actress used to sleep around with politicians but was now outsourcing since she’s gotten older. Ego’s TikTok video went viral that same day, with thousands of internet users feeding into her allegations and making more defamatory remarks about the actress.
Eniola Badmus’s reaction
Badmus shared an Instagram post on the same July 19, urging people to “thread carefully”, adding that she wouldn’t listen to “please” if she gets a hold of the lady behind the allegation.
Eniola Badmus involves the police
On Saturday, July 22, three days after the viral video dropped, Ego sent out a distress call via a video she shared online, revealing that police officers had arrived at her residence.
“I’m in serious soup. Eniola Badmus has called the police. They’re at my door. They want to break in. I’m in serious problem. You guys, I need help. They want to break my door.”
A Short Story involving Nigerian actress Eniola Badmus and an online troll named Ego
Video 1: When Police arrived at the resident of the Tiktoker who labelled Eniola Badmus a pimp as she was asking people online to help her. pic.twitter.com/o2OHnYYbUP
Shortly after the distress call went out, Eniola shared a video on her Snapchat page, letting the world know that the police had finally arrested Ego. In the video, a remorseful Ego was seen apologising to Eniola. The actress asked why she defamed her and strongly noted that “sorry” won’t cut it.
“You can’t be sorry. We dey go court.”
Eniola Badmus locates TikTok user, threatens to sue for defamation
Actress Eniola Badmus has located the TikTok user, Ego Blessing Okoye, who accused her of pimping.
Ego admitted to the police that the allegations against the actress were completely false. According to her, a male friend called Fortune Ibe, promised her the sum of ₦200,000 to make the defamatory video about the actress. Ego claimed the friend made the offer after she told him she needed money to pay for her house rent.
She proceeded to apologise to Eniola, noting that everything she said was a lie, and she was only desperate for money to pay her rent.
Confession of a failed propagandist to Eniola Badmus
Eniola Badmus rejects apology, insists on charging TikTok user, Ego Okoye for defamation (calling her a professional pi+mp) without any instigation.
— Meet Lydia (persian_queen)💥 (@LydiaTeeanaJaja) July 24, 2023
“I personally sent her a message” — Eniola Badmus
During an Instagram Live interview with media personality, Daddy Freeze, on July 24, Eniola claimed she sent a message to Ego expressing her concerns about the video and urging her to take it down. According to her, Ego told her to “shut up”.
The actress said Ego’s response forced her to take the matter up with her lawyer who submitted a petition and moved the matter to court.
Actress Eniola Badmus says she initially reached out to Ego Blessing Okoye, the Tiktoker who defamed her via DM, and that Ego asked her to ‘shut up’.
On Tuesday, August 2, a Federal High Court in Lagos sentenced Nwakaego Okoye to three years imprisonment for cyberstalking Eniola Badmus.
Justice Nichola Oweibo convicted Ego after she pleaded guilty to a two-count charge of cyberstalking. However, following the convict’s show of remorse, Justice Oweibo gave Ego an option to pay a fine of ₦150,000 in lieu of jail time.
Eniola breaks silence following the court’s ruling
In an Instagram post shared hours after the court’s ruling, Eniola stressed the importance of letting people live their lives without castigating them for it. She mentioned her hurtful experiences during her weight loss journey and how she’s also been subjected to cyberbullying because of her political choices.
According to her, the hateful comments hurt and sometimes “you truly and really want to set an example.” She added, ”While freedom of speech is a fundamental right, I think it should be exercised responsibly and with consideration for the potential harm it may cause.”
Just mere hours after an aircraft crashed in Lagos, tragedy struck again. A Nigerian doctor, identified as Dr Vwaere Diaso, lost her life while using an elevator that reportedly crashed from the 10th floor of Lagos Island General Hospital, Odan, yesterday, August 1, 2023.
She was said to be just two weeks away from completing her housemanship.
A doctor who had just 2 weeks to complete her housemanship just died in general hospital(Odan, Lagos island) due to poor management and negligence!!! The elevator she was in, fell from 10th floor to the ground! Video was so painful to watch 💔
Since the news of Dr Vwaere’s passing came to light, multiple Twitter users have complained about the same elevator, claiming it has been faulty and poorly maintained for at least three years. Some also claim that the hospital authorities knew about the elevator’s state but kept making unfulfilled promises to handle it.
Complaints about the elevator from 2020 also surfaced.
I am gutted and sad by the news of a colleague who lost her life due to an elevator mishap. It is more saddening that this elevator issue had been reported over 3 years ago, yet nothing was done. This is pure dereliction and Brazen negligence on part of the hospital management… https://t.co/6mZhgw2K43
That elevator crash in HSC was completely avoidable! She didn't need to die for it to be attended to. Other doctors had complained numerous times about the same elevator.
I hate how the "anyhowness" in Nigeria keeps snatching lives and dreams.
It was also revealed that it took about an hour to free Dr Vwaere from the crashed elevator. However, even after she was removed from the crash site, medical care wasn’t immediately administered due to a lack of oxygen, blood and emergency preparedness.
You had one hour to get ready for this emergency!!! No one could get blood, no oxygen, no one on ground could set central line. The consultant didn’t think of neck collar for the patient until a HO suggested it. When the patient got there that’s when you now start looking for
Information reaching me is that she did survive the fall but was badly injured but alive and it took almost an hour for them to retrieve and rush her to emergency theater room only for them not to have blood.She finally gave up the ghost. HOW DOES A HOSPITAL NOT HAVE BLOOD FFS??!
On Wednesday, August 2, 2023, some of Dr Vwaere’s colleagues and other concerned individuals took to the streets to demand justice for the late doctor.
So Elon and the people on his app have had enough of you and decided to give you a break. That’s okay, as new experts on this, we know a few ways to help you through this trying time.
Touch grass
Step outside, take a deep breath, find your nearest football field, fall to your knees, and touch grass. Even though the grass will most likely be fake, it might remind you of what’s real and help you handle the loss of your account better.
Watch all the Nollywood movies on your to-watch list
You can no longer use this excuse, “I don’t have time”, so dust off your subscriptions and start watching all the Nollywood releases you’ve missed out on this year. We suggest you start with Ijakumo, so you can work your way up.
Call your family members
Better still, visit them. The last time you saw them was at crossover night, but now that Twitter has suspended your account and cleared up your schedule, there’s no time like the present for you to present yourself to the members of your family.
Hydrate
Life isn’t going to stop just because Elon snatched your account, so you have to prepare and be ready to get it back. Do finger exercises and drink a ton of water so when he releases your account, you can dive back into it and fill all your moots in on what’s being going down in your life, maybe even host a space or two.
Start a new business
Start that business today, and spread the word. Some might argue that Twitter would be a good platform to promote your business, but you can do that on Facebook and Instagram too. You get the boomers with money from Facebook and the baddies with money from Instagram.
Find love
The reason you’re still single is because you’ve been spending all your free time scrolling through Twitter. Now that the chokehold it has on you has been broken, you can take a look around you and find someone to love.
Become a motivational speaker
You’ve learnt so much from your time on Twitter, it’s time to take all that knowledge and put it to good use. Set up seminars, impact the society around you and have everyone discuss how they would handle delicate situations. Like their mother sitting in the front seat when their partner is right there.
International Day of Friendship 2023 was on Sunday, July 30, but there was barely any buzz around it on social media, and we understand why. Nigerians are dealing with a lot at the moment.
We asked some people how they celebrated the special day and responses ranged from having no idea to watching “Barbie” with friends.
“We hung out but no one was aware” — Deji*
There’s a World Friendship Day? I wasn’t even aware, so it didn’t cross my mind to celebrate it. Although I did hang out with my friends on Sunday, but I don’t think anyone of us was aware. We all just carried on as usual. We have this tradition where we try to hang out every last Sunday of the month, so I guess we still celebrated each other.
“We had drinks, ate and went to see Barbie” — Tunji*
I had a great day. I had no idea there was a celebration, but I got this sweet message from my friend around noon — throwback pictures from when we were in uni. She also sent a short text telling me how much she loved and valued our friendship. That was really sweet, so I showed up at her place in the evening, we had drinks, ate and went to see “Barbie”. Now, I want to commit the date to memory because I have other friends I also should’ve celebrated.
“I don’t have deep friendships” — Bisi*
World Friendship Day isn’t as popular as other celebrations. I didn’t see anything on social media until much later in the day when my husband mentioned it in passing, so I didn’t do anything to celebrate. Even if I was aware, I don’t think it would’ve been different. I don’t have deep friendships; it’s mostly surface connections.
“It was sweet to express our love for each other” — Demola*
only got the memo when my friend sent a message to our WhatsApp group in the afternoon. There are four of us in the group, and that’s where we gist, plan movie dates, trips, vacations and just catch up. The message was a sweet one, and we all took turns sending something short and sweet to each other. That was about it, but I spent the rest of the day grinning. It was really sweet to celebrate our friendship and express love for each other.
“I wasn’t aware and wouldn’t have celebrated even if I knew” — Halimah*
I didn’t know there was a World Friendship Day celebration, and even if I did, I doubt I’d have celebrated. There’s a lot of shege in Nigeria at the moment, and I and my friends are surviving on “It is well”. Maybe I’ll catch on to it in 2024. Hopefully, things will be stable then.
“All my friends have relocated” — Dotun*
I started celebrating this about two years ago, but this year, it was just there. I’m the only one in my group that hasn’t relocated. We’re all scattered across different parts and even my friends who used to be in Lagos have moved to Abuja. Adulthood is really kicking our asses right now, and I wish it could be different but it’s what it is. Maybe I’ll send a message to our WhatsApp group later in the week. I could use a physical hangout with all my friends right now. I miss them so much.
“I’ll give my bestie a gift later” — Yeside*
I was with my bestie throughout the day, but neither of us was aware of any friendship celebration day. Sometimes, it’s hard to keep track of these international celebrations, and you don’t even know which one is relevant to Nigeria. But now that you’ve mentioned it, maybe I’ll go extra with what I plan to do for her birthday later in the week. I planned to buy her a cake but I’m inspired to also get a gift to celebrate our friendship. She’d be so surprised. Lol.
They already stress you every day, and they still want to charge you for it? No. It cannot happen.
Or your Bolt driver wants extra money
They’ll say fuel is crazy expensive, but it’s not affecting them alone. The app has already increased price. They should leave the rest to God.
When food passes you by at a party
You mean you’re just going to sit there and be mature about the fact that you’ll be leaving an owambe without tasting rice? Come off it.
Or when they tell you meat has finished
It’s a different story if you’re a vegetarian. But if you really like meat, what’s the point of hiding your pain?
When someone takes too much time at the ATM stand
Be the smaller person by kneeling down to beg them for funds since they have too much of it.
If you’re arguing with an agbero
In this scenario, change our advice from “go lower” to “lay low”, and you’ll be safe.
When salary doesn’t enter on salary date
If your salary always takes too long to drop, why are you working fast and getting everything done quickly? Take your time too. Obviously, no one around you is in a rush.
Afrobeats to the world, again! Big Wiz had the 62,850 capacity venue packed to the brim, and Nigerians are still catching their breath after his Goat-level performance.
Nigerians need a distraction amid all the suffering in Tinubu’s administration, and what’s better than BBNaija drama? Mercy Eke, Cee-C, Alex, White Money, Pere and 15 others are back in Biggie’s house.
Sickle cell patient and advocate Precious Gaza was accused by her friends of squandering donations meant for her Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) procedure. Gaza, in a statement, admitted to some of the accusations.
Since Elon Musk bought Twitter in October 2022, he’s made changes like Twitter Blue, paying creators and tweets showing the number of views. The only thing he hasn’t changed is the logo. Oh wait, even the logo didn’t survive his revamp. While I can’t match his wealth, I can definitely match his ability to shrink entire brands into one letter. Here we go.
Palmpay = B
Bridgerton. Why? They will stand with you between the heavens and the earth. They will tell you where you are. When will you repay your loan?
G stands for gun because there’s no difference between those charges and armed robbery.
Instagram = M
IG is now one big marketplace. You’ll be scrolling through, looking for pictures of your peng people, but the wig and clothes ads won’t let you rest.
Bigi = F
I’m sure there’s no flavour that Bigi hasn’t experimented with. The only one that’s left is N’abania.
Minimie = W
Apart from being a snack, it can also double as a weapon. The only thing that’s harder than minimie is convincing your mum that pressing your phone is not the reason for your sickness.
Apple = I
Virtually all Apple products begin with an “I.” Well, apart from the one I can actually afford — apple juice.
Access Bank = M
Money? Mobile banking? No amigo, it’s Marathon. Why be just a bank when you can be one that organises the biggest marathon in Nigeria?
In the weeks leading up to the FIFA Women’s World Cup, there was a lot of unrest in the Super Falcons Camp. Clashes between the NFF and the coaching staff and players about owed salaries and bonuses meant many Nigerian fans expected very little when the tournament began. All these distractions coupled with the fact that they were the lowest-ranked team (40) in the star-studded group that had Canada (7), Australia (10) — the co-hosts alongside New Zealand — and the Republic of Ireland (22) meant many pundits predicted that these teams would take turns to give Nigeria a proper beating.
After a hard-fought 0-0 draw against Canada, the confidence in the team began to rise. A penalty save from Chiamaka Nnadozie was the highlight of a very solid defensive display from Nigeria. Their second game, however, is where the team truly shone. Coming from a goal down to defeat the co-hosts Australia, was as big as underdog stories could get. After 45 minutes of the Nigerian goal being peppered with Australian shots, they finally broke the deadlock in the first minute of first-half stoppage time. But their lead lasted only as long as it takes the average person who relocates to Canada, to start a Youtube channel. About five minutes later, Uchenna Kalu slotted in the equalizer.
This was the second-ever first-half goal scored by Nigeria at the Women’s World Cup, despite playing in 18 matches across previous editions.
Nigeria now leads group B heading into the final game and while a draw against already knocked out Republic of Ireland will confirm qualification, a win will put Nigeria on top of the group.
The Australian team, backed by the over 40,000 fans in the stadium, fought to regain their lead but like my people say, no matter how lizard do press-up reach, he no fit get muscle reach alligator. Two goals from Osinachi Ohale (66) and Asisat Oshoala (72) put the game beyond reach for the Australians. They huffed and puffed and managed to snatch a consolatory goal in the 10th minute of added time as the Falcons defended their lead with their lives
What this means for Nigeria
Nigeria now leads group B heading into the final game and while a draw against already knocked out Republic of Ireland will confirm qualification, a win will put Nigeria on top of the group.
The only thing Nigerians love more than a big win is bragging about the win. Nigerians, in expected fashion, took to twitter to “pepper the haters.”
Australians, we played well, we controlled the game, we dominated the super falcons, we, we.
This win has also drawn some media attention to the salaries the players are being owed as the Arsenal legend Ian Wright tweeted at the NFF to pay them.
This started the hashtag #paythem. Although the NFF hasn’t said anything about this, Nigerians have chosen to celebrate this iconic win. There were also some records broken as the Super Falcons captain Onome Ebi became the oldest African and second-oldest player to play in the world cup at 40 years old.
Asisat Oshoala also became the first African player to score in three different world cups (2015, 2019 and now 2023). Agba Baller herself. Asisat Oshoala’s celebration is one that will surely be talked about for ages to come as women removing their shirts when celebrating is not as common as seen on the men’s side.
Now that qualification from the group is very likely, the Nigerian team will focus on going as far in the competition as possible.
Precious Gaza, a sickle cell patient and advocate, is currently trending on Twitter following allegations that she misappropriated medical financial aid meant for her Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) procedure.
Photo: The Guardian
Fellow Nigerians and other individuals who made donations towards Gaza’s procedure have since expressed reservations about her actions. Here’s all we know about the situation so far:
Who is Precious Gaza?
A LinkedIn page owned by Gaza describes her as a customer success manager, community builder and sickle cell advocate.
Gaza, who is also a sickle cell patient, became known to many people for her advocacy work around the disorder. A search on Google returns with a string of articles and videos of Gaza using her platforms to make a case for fellow sickle cell patients in Nigeria.
In a 2021 article, Gaza opened up about her struggles with the chronic illness and how spending time abroad changed her perspective. An excerpt reads:
“Then I travelled to the UK for my master’s in 2018. The care I received changed my perspective. During hospital visits in Nigeria, health professionals would say, “Weren’t you here last month?” or “See you soon.” I would feel guilty and apologise every time I fell sick. In the UK, health professionals would remind me that I had no control over my health. At some point, they asked if I fully understood my diagnosis. They “educated” me about sickle cell, but more importantly, they made me feel seen by really listening to me.”
Getting a Bone Marrow Transplant
Gaza disclosed that a group of friends who had watched her struggle all her life started a GoFundMe for a Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) procedure.
The GoFundMe page, organised by a group of friends, went live on March 2021, with a goal to raise $200,000 to cover Gaza’s BMT procedure.
“Precious Gaza is a sickle cell warrior and we are trying to raise money for a bone marrow transplant surgery so she can live sickle cell free. I’m opening this because if anyone deserves a chance at this life, it’s her. Nothing is really too small. Give as freely and sincerely as you can,” the description read.
Below are supporting medical documents from Sheba International, a medical center in Isreal “dedicated to providing advanced and compassionate medicine for everyone.”
The GoFundMe page also has a documentary detailing Gaza’s struggles as a sickle cell patient.
Why is she trending at the moment?
On Tuesday, July 25, Gaza’s friends issued a statement on a new Twitter account (@BMTFORPRESH) announcing that they no longer have access to the original account (@bmtforpreshgaza) which was created to keep the public updated about donations for her BMT procedure.
Her friends proceeded to clear the air and give an account of what had transpired since they started the medical financial aid cause in March 2021.
According to them, a total of £53,400.00 was raised via GoFundMe and ₦33 million was raised in naira.
We would like to express our gratitude for your financial support towards the #BMTforPresh campaign. Thank you for your donations. pic.twitter.com/VRDkboS8fc
When the campaign started, transparency and accountability were our fixed priorities, and the goal was to maintain this policy to the utmost extent. It is in that light that we would like to inform the general public that all the funds raised….. pic.twitter.com/3HbycZGLiY
Gaza’s friends also claimed that as of July 5, 2023, she was in receipt of all the donations made via the GoFundMe and naira donation channels. They added that the GoFundMe channel continued to receive more donations after July 5 but “made the collective decision to hold back from sending those funds to their rightful owner, Precious Gaza.”
As of 5th July 2023, Precious Gaza was in receipt of all donations made from the GoFundMe and naira donation channels up to that date. Following that, the GoFundMe page continued to receive some more donations. With respect to donations received after 5th July 2023…. pic.twitter.com/HxZagjaRir
Our reason for this is because during that time, we had reason to believe that the handed over funds were not being put to use for the purpose that they were donated; that is, the BMT. Upon further investigations, we found this to be true. pic.twitter.com/YLtCU8RCdk
Gaza’s friends claimed that they informed her family upon discovery that the donations handed over to her hadn’t been used for the purpose they were intended.
They claimed her family members promised to handle the matter internally.
As a next step, we decided to inform her family, who then asked us to wait while they tried to handle it internally. We thought it fair to give them that option.
However, while waiting for the situation to be rectified, the friends alleged that Gaza continued to “actively solicit more funds on TikTok” and they came to the conclusion that the matter hadn’t been handled as promised by her family members.
According to them, when they tried to reach out on social media, they realized they had been blocked. She also “ignored prompts to do the right thing, claiming her family had taken control of her phone”.
In addition, Gaza’s friends claimed they learned she had been receiving direct donations and was in “exclusive control of all the funds.”
During this time, Precious Gaza continued to actively solicit more funds on TikTok, and so it didn’t look to us like the matter was being handled as quickly or efficiently as it should. Upon reaching out to Precious, she blocked some of us from viewing her social accounts…. pic.twitter.com/G518VU8SxN
as well as completely ignored our prompts for her to do the right thing; claiming her family had taken control of her phone. We also got to know that Precious Gaza had been receiving additional donations directly, and was in exclusive control of all the funds.
Gaza’s friends reiterated that the bone marrow donation campaign was born out of goodwill, pure intentions and a desire to see their friend get the procedure that will help her live sickle-cell-free.
The #BMTforPresh campaign was initiated out of goodwill and pure intentions; we wanted nothing but to see our friend get the procedure that would enable her to live sickle cell free. And so, we are deeply saddened, utterly bewildered, and downright disappointed that pic.twitter.com/IRgLCmdHMY
They, however, expressed disappointment at Gaza’s alleged deception and misappropriation of the “funds meant for something so vital and lifesaving.”
….that Precious Gaza could not only pull the wool over our eyes and continue to be untruthful about the whole process, but also misappropriate the funds meant for something so vital and lifesaving.
Do direct any further inquiries on the status of the BMT to Precious Gaza herself, as she is in a better position to provide you with the latest updates and other necessary information regarding the progress of her surgery.
Gaza’s official Twitter account @preshgaza is currently inactive but not before she put out a four-page statement addressing the claims made by her friends.
In her statement, Gaza appreciated her friends and family, admitting that she wouldn’t be alive if they hadn’t started an intervention to save her life.
She, however, disclosed that she has been battling drug dependency and mental illness. According to her, she’s been battling depression and schizophrenia.
“Drug dependency and mental issues coupled with sickle cell are crazy to deal with all at the same time but I’m going to get back on my feet.”
Gaza equally acknowledged the need for her friends to set the record straight and clear the air regarding the donations made toward her BMT procedure.
This was followed by a breakdown of how she has spent the donations received so far.
· Flights to and fro the UK, and for pre-fertilisation
· Consultation with doctors
· Hospital bills in UK as a visitor
· On deteriorating mental and physical health
According to Gaza, it has taken so long for her to get the procedure done because there’s a waitlist where people wait for years to get their turn.
She reiterated that she understands the need for her friends to issue a disclaimer, especially since questions are springing up about the money donated. Gaza claims that she’s still on track to get the BMT procedure as the waitlist has now been extended to 2024.
According to Gaza, she’s been suppressing her struggle with mental health and schizophrenia, an action which caused her to be “delusional, narcissistic and act like everything is fine”. She added that has no reason not to want to be cured.
“In the meantime, I’m fighting suicidal thoughts, anxiety, depression and schizophrenia, which I have meds for.”
In the statement, Precious Gaza disclosed that she’s been dependent on prescribed opioids for a long time but kept it private out of shame and mistreatment at the hospital.
“Mental health issues and opioid dependency is a sickness that’s hard to explain in this part of the world. My failure warriors popping pills in silence so that they function every day without pain working on 9-5 understand. That said, thanks to all my friends for your sacrifices. I’m sorry and I hope you forgive me and give me grace. Gazelles, please don’t give up on me. I’m coming back stronger.”
— Miss Yeychi 🇳🇬 🇬🇧 (@OriakuMitchelle) July 25, 2023
The internet reacts
Nigerians, among others who donated to Gaza’s BMT procedure, have since shared mixed reactions. Many have expressed strong reservations about her actions.
This Precious Gaza expose has left me dizzy. I donated, campaigned on my Instagram urging my followers to donate, made a few posts applauding how rare her friends are and 2 years after we read this shocker???? 💔
This whole precious Gaza story brings me to tears cos I know a friend who is a single father that is ready to lay down his life for his little boy to get this bone marrow transplant and all his efforts has come to nothing 😭😭😭
My guy called me last night and was weeping for minutes while I just kept quiet. He was just saying “Oh, I was a fool”. This guy spent countless days in the hospital with Precious Gaza. At times, all night. What this evil girl has done is heart wrenching. This is awful!! 😭😭
— Kunle Kenny (Stream “When I Call” Everywhere) (@kunle_kenny) July 28, 2023
The painful thing about this Precious Gaza situation is that most of us know one or two SC warriors that will give anything to get the kind of support and funding she got for her BMT surgery but can’t get it and she got it and squandered it Omo ko funny mehn
On Thursday, July 27, Gaza’s friends issued a second statement as a response to her attempt to give clarification on the matter.
According to them, they noticed discrepancies when different members of the support group approached Precious Gaza about the progress of the BMT procedure. One of her friends ultimately advised her to give a public update, which Gaza agreed to and did by posting on Instagram.
Gaza’s friends claimed they don’t have access to her IG page but shared a screenshot of a Twitter post where she said she was awaiting visa approval.
According to them, the post was different from the update they’d agreed on and further encouraged her to give proper updates about the procedure.
After weeks passed with no noticeable action, Gaza’s friends mentioned that they approached her again to urge her to give public updates about the BMT procedure. They said this was when they discovered she was still soliciting funds on TikTok and decided to have a conversation in their group chat with her. Gaza’s friends claimed she apologized but made no mention of her fund-soliciting activities on TikTok or why she blocked them. It was at this point that she also disclosed that she’d been diagnosed with another chronic disease.
The friends claimed her history of being dishonest forced them to demand a medical report confirming the new diagnosis; an action received with accusations of being unsupportive and Gaza ultimately exiting the group.
They proceeded to visit her at home and during their meeting, Gaza claimed her dad was with the medical report of her recent diagnosis, and admitted that she had spent ₦15 million of the BMT donations on medication. At the meeting, everybody agreed that Gaza and her dad would visit the bank and restrict her access to the BMT funds. This, in addition to going to rehab and getting therapy.
The friends said Gaza returned days later claiming she had been checked into a rehabilitation center.
However, given Gaza’s history of dishonesty, her friends made deeper findings about her claim of checking into a rehab center and discovered that she’d allegedly lifted the images she sent to them from Google.
Gaza’s friends took it upon themselves to update the public about the progress of the BMT procedure and this was when they requested bank account statements to make accurate calculations. They claimed Gaza allegedly refused at first, before she finally sent the statement for a Zenith Bank account opened for the naira donations.
Upon review of the bank statement, Gaza’s friends discovered, “The BMT funds had not only been spent but that Precious had also not been honest about what she had been spending the money on.” They added “We discovered that Precious had been spending the money since 2021; expenses on restaurants, spas local flights, and other reckless personal expenditure. We also found large chunks of money transferred to her personal bank account.”
According to Gaza’s friends, the bank statements confirmed earlier suspicions that she had organized a birthday party in December 2022 with funds from the BMT donations. They said Gaza had initially mentioned that her family members sponsored the party. Upon further investigation, the relatives disclosed that Gaza claimed her then boyfriend footed the bills for the party, adding that they would take up the issue with her.
The friends made further attempts to get the statement for a Barclays bank account that contained the donations received from the GoFundMe link. According to them, Gaza responded by sending pictures of a new rehab centre where she had allegedly been moved to.
Gaza’s friends tried to corroborate her claims from family members who revealed that she was at home and not in a rehab center as alleged. Gaza was also still active on TikTok, soliciting funds.
This action prompted her friends to disable the GoFundMe page that had been running since March 2021 and put out an official statement updating the public.
According to them, Precious Gaza had an Instagram live session on July 25, where she still refused to give proper accounts and claimed the rehab had given her a day off to go home and cook.
It was alleged that during the live, Gaza said she had gotten test kits for herself and family members, and could finally get a date for the BMT. It was during this live that she also revealed that she was on a waitlist, information which her friends said was unknown to them.
They claimed to only know that Gaza’s dad was a match and that he was going to travel with her to Turkey for the procedure. They also confirmed that Gaza had shown them proof of a $10000 payment made to a Turkish hospital, as well as letters to grant her and her father visas into the country. However, Precious Gaza later told her friends that the specialist she was seeing had been transferred to the US and as such the procedure would also be done in the US.
Gaza’s friends said they expected her to give this clarification during her live session but she didn’t. In addition,the waitlist referenced was a “BMT clinical trial, which was a long process with an even longer waiting list.”
According to her friends, “the BMT clinical trials are 100% free which means that Precious Gaza still has not accounted for the money.”
Gaza’s friends categorically stated that no church or Christians seeking to do charity work were behind the fundraising campaign; it was an initiative created exclusively by her friends.
For them, a lot has been uncovered about their friend in the process of uncovering evidence surrounding the BMT but according to them, they hope she goes ahead with the procedure so that she can live sickle-cell free.
A pending donation of £65 left in the GoFundMe has been donated to Hope at Dawn Sickle Cell Foundation.
This is a developing story.
Catch Adekunle Gold in this week’s episode of Zikoko Pop.
If you haven’t heard, some former military officials in the United States basically revealed that aliens exist. They weren’t reading the script for a Hollywood movie. Real life.
TBH, it makes sense because the existence of aliens is the only explanation for some weird stuff that has happened in this world.
The whole Buhari body double situation
Now that I think about it, Jubril from Sudan could have very well been Jubril from Mars.
Penises disappearing in the market
I’ve always wondered why a babalawo needed only the person’s genitals. What if they carried it to the shrine and realised the penis wasn’t potent for what they needed it for? Would they just throw it away? Why not carry the whole person? Our babalawos are much smarter than that, so it had to be the work of aliens.
Animals swallowing money
On this Obasanjo internet, we heard that a snake swallowed ₦36 million at JAMB office, monkeys swallowed ₦70 million at someone’s farm, and a gorilla swallowed ₦6.8 million at Kano Zoological Gardens. I smell aliens.
This “fruit”
Is it a fruit or a seed? And why do you have to spend hours “licking” it to get any form of goodness out of it? There’s nothing anyone wants to tell me. The aliens sent it to stress us.
The tension between NEPA and rain
Why does the light always go off when it rains? And why does the light spoil if they mistakenly forget to take it when it rains? No one has answers because it’s the work of the aliens.
Nigerian Twitter
If you sneeze anyhow on Nigerian Twitter, you can get dragged till the fifth generation. It’s also on Nigerian Twitter you’ll find people who haven’t paid house rent advising celebrities on how to spend their money. I’m sure there are some aliens hiding on that Elon app.
Banks charging people to receive money
Nigerian banks charging both the sender and receiver a percentage of the money involved in the transaction must be the work of aliens. Maybe the government is already aware of the aliens and is using style to gather money to protect us from a likely alien invasion. We love a proactive government.
Lagos apartments
If you deep it, the reason your kitchen is the size of a radio battery is so the aliens don’t have space to hide in your home.
Nigerian parents having the same parenting manual
The aliens likely have one software they upload to every person’s head, and it activates when they become parents. Why else do all our mothers love us putting things on their heads?
Nigeria
We’ve been saying, “Nigeria is a joke” for the longest. Now it’s clear the aliens are involved. They’re probably testing out their strategies here before rolling out to the whole world.
I’m a first-born daughter and that meant that from an early age, I had to fill in for my mum who had a full-time job. I hated every minute of it because I didn’t even know what I was doing. I learned to cook at age 7 and I was in charge of all house chores. I thought it’d get better when I left for university, and it did for a while. But then I graduated from school and got an awesome job. I started making my own money, and requests for financial assistance have been pouring in from everyone. I’m back here, living my life for them, and it feels like there’ll never be an end to it.
“Losing my dad forced me to grow up” — Daniel, 24
I had a sheltered background, but everything changed when I lost my dad. I was 16 at the time, and I had two other siblings. My mum was a petty trader, so we quickly went from being relatively comfortable to very poor. What made it worse was that we weren’t close to the extended family, and my parents were all I had.
I had to make money to survive somehow because my mother still had two kids (14 and 12) to take care of. I started with the easiest thing I could think of — laundry. I was washing clothes for my classmates for ₦200 a piece, even missing classes sometimes. I quickly became popular for this and soon started my own laundromat in school. My grades weren’t bad, but I’d gotten too preoccupied with making money that I’d lost interest in school.
Eventually, I discovered tech through a friend and started learning how to code. I was 19 at this point and I already had a lot of money saved up from my business. I shut it down to focus on school and coding. I graduated at 20 and got my first job two months before graduation. In many ways, losing my dad forced me to grow up faster. Even though I’m sad that he’s gone, I’m still grateful for the road that brought me here.
“I wasn’t ready to go to the university when I did” — Feyi, 29
Growing up, I was the ideal child. I was well-behaved, got good grades, and made my parents proud. I even skipped two classes in secondary school and got into the university at 14. It’s not that I was done with secondary school, but I’d taken JAMB and GCE in SS2 and passed really well. I got admitted to study medicine and my life pretty much looked like a straight line towards becoming a doctor at 20.
I got into school and quickly found out how brutal it was. I wasn’t used to the long classes. I’d never lived outside of home, and I didn’t even know how to take care of myself outside the influence of my parents. But that was easy to learn. The hardest part was blending in with people who were several years older than me.
I had classmates who had boyfriends, and who’d talk about sex like it wasn’t a big deal. Meanwhile, the closest thing I ever had to a boyfriend was a class crush that lasted one term. I didn’t even know “Netflix and Chill” meant something else until my third year in school.
Even though I’ve always been proud of the fact that I grew up fast and had excellent grades, I realized that I had poor social skills.Growing up too fast had done nothing to prepare me for life in school.
“My parents were never around so I had no choice” — Ibrahim, 22
My parents worked late every day, and they went to parties on weekends. It also didn’t help that I was the first of five kids. We used to have a maid, but she was sent away after she had a physical fight with my mum. Somehow, all her duties were transferred to me when I was only 8.
I’d take care of my siblings after school and wash their uniforms. I cooked most of the food we ate, and I did most of the chores around the house, with my siblings doing as little as possible because they were really young. The worst part was that I had mischievous siblings, who made sure I always got into trouble with our parents for things they did. That gave me a huge sense of responsibility to keep them in check. It’s probably why I’m such a control freak now. But looking back, the experience gave me invaluable life skills.
“I started working when I was 15” — Amaka, 25
My family fell on hard times after my father died, and my mum didn’t have enough money to support all four of us through school. After I graduated from secondary school, my mum told me to wait a few years and work before going to university. This was so she could have enough money to support my two other siblings through school.
I started out working as a waiter at a nearby restaurant for ₦15,000 monthly when I should have been in school. A lot of it was demeaning and I was sacked two years later when I slapped a customer who tried to harass me. With the help of someone I met at the restaurant, I went on to learn how to import shoes from China and sell them for huge profits. In my first round of sales, I made ₦90,000 in profit. That was the highest amount of money I’d ever seen in my life at that time.
I continued with the business and used the money to support the family and enrol in school. It wasn’t the most horrible experience, but it forced me to grow up and learn to fend for myself.
The Nigerian dating scene can be a collection of wild experiences for women but not if you’re armed with the right questions to ask your boyfriend in every given situation. They might wiggle their way out with lies but that’s out of our hands.
Romantic questions to ask your boyfriend
Consider these questions a window into your lover’s mind to see what’s behind all that fine face and banging body.
1. Do you love me?
2. How did you know you were in love with me?
3. What are you like as a lover?
4. What is your love language?
5. Why do you want to be in a relationship with me?
6. Would you die for me?
7. Do I show up in your dreams?
8. What’s your favourite memory of us?
9. If I were to plan a date for us, where would you want to go?
10. What’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever done for you?
11. How did it feel when we had our first kiss?
12. How do you feel whenever you see me?
13. Did you have a crush on me before we started dating?
14. How do you feel about PDA?
15. Are you a Valentine’s Day fan or hater?
Interesting/ funny questions to ask your boyfriend
These interesting and funny questions for your boyfriend can also help you get his views on serious issues from a laid-back POV.
1. Do you believe in aliens?
2. If your mother and wife are in your car, who sits in the front seat?
11. Do you fight in the comment section of Instagram blogs?
12. What will you do if I fart?
13. Semo or Amala?
14. Are you a stan?
15. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
16. Introvert or extrovert?
17. Who is your next of kin?
18. Fresh food or refrigerated food?
19. Where do you press the toothpaste from?
20. Do you have a favourite side of the bed?
Deep questions to ask your lover
These questions are the necessary evil that can either make or break your relationship. Either way, there is no middle ground. In the wise words of ex-Governor Nyesom Wike, “If e didn’t dey, e didn’t dey.”
1. Do you believe in life after death?
2. Who is someone in your life you can always count on?
3. What does love mean to you?
4. What’s your end goal for this relationship?
5. How do you deal with negative emotions?
6. When was the last time you cried?
7. How in touch are you with your feelings and emotions?
8. Do you think everyone should be a feminist?
9. What’s your take on mental health?
10. What are your long and short-term goals in life?
11. What do you want to be remembered for?
12. What type of parent do you want to be?
13. How will you handle your family if they don’t approve of me?
14. What’s your take on infidelity in a relationship?
15. Have you ever been heartbroken and how did you deal with it?
16. Do you have an emergency fund?
17. How do you deal with bad money decisions?
18. What do you think about surrogacy and adoption?
19. How many kids do you want?
20. Can you talk about your health history?
Flirty questions to ask your boyfriend
These questions are perfect for testing the waters. You don’t want to come off as doing too much, but you also don’t want him to think you’re allergic to romance.
1. What’s my favourite underwear?
2. What are the things I do that turn you on?
3. Do you remember the clothes I wore on our first date?
4. What do I do that gives you butterflies in your tummy?
5. If you could choose to take two things off my body right now, what would they be?
6. What colour do you associate with me?
7. Where’s your favourite place to be kissed?
8. Describe your best romantic scene in a film?
9. What body part turns you on the most?
10. Are you drawn to looks or intellect?
11. What’s something we haven’t done that you’ll like us to do together?
12. Do you like my perfume?
13. What was your first impression of me?
14. What’s your favourite inside joke that we have?
Love is great, but love that can remove you from the shores of this country is better. Luckily for you, we have a couple foolproof steps that’ll get you international love.
Learn how to pronounce “expatriate”
How are you going to find an expatriate and be with them if you can’t even pronounce the word? You can tackle the spelling later, but for now, pop that “p”, roll that “r”, and pronounce the word like a pro.
Be yourself, but with a twist
We’re not saying you should do a complete overhaul of your person o, we’re just saying you should add a little spice and maggi. Small Amerigbo accent here, a new walk there.,You know, keep it fresh and spicy. Any time you open your mouth, let their face be filled with shock; shock them into wedding you.
Move yourself
We’re not saying things are not popping in your current state of residence, but if you aren’t living in Lagos or Abuja, then you’re wrong.
There might be oyibo fish in your sea, but there’s no way those fishes are as plenty as the ones in these two states. So, it’s best you pack your bags and head on to larger seas.
Change your hairstyle
You can either scrape your head, gorimakpa style or you can opt for shuku, bantu knots, or thread. You don’t have to like the hairstyle, it just has to get their attention.
Make custom officers your friends
When we say customs, we mean the ones that work in the airport. If you go and find the ones that are standing on the road or the ones that clear goods at the port, then you are on your own.
Make a friend in the customs or aviation industry and beg them — don’t ask, beg them to tell you when the oyibos that are your spec (you want to japa, but you still have taste) enter the country. You can now strategically position yourself and they can mistakenly bump into you. Boom, meet cute. Boom, love at first sight.
Become a flight attendant
A close alternative would be taking up a job as one of those people that push trolleys at the airport. If you’re really nice and consistent, they’ll see you over and over again, then they’ll befriend you. Next thing you know, you’re in Canada, earning in CAD and living a new life.
Sit down in the lobby of Eko hotel
Honestly, you could sit down in front of the Federal Palace Hotel as well. Walking around ShopRite and Ikeja City Mall is also an option. The point of this is to sha get visibility. Hopefully, when they see you three to five times in a row, they will be curious about you and not just think you’re a jobless person.
You might find another booless person and bond over your love for his music. Isn’t that the start of a solid love story?
Tweet his lyrics at random
Tweeting his lyrics is like putting up a smoke signal that you’re looking for love. You’ll be in a talking stage in no time, ready to get boo’d up.
Ask for his songs at the club
Go to a club and specifically ask the DJ to play Amen for you while you sing it at the top of your lungs. Find the first person to join you and marry them.
Manifest a relationship while listening to his music
This life is all about manifesting what you want. Use his music to channel your imaginative energy. Picture yourself dancing to his songs with the love of your life on your wedding day. It’ll happen in no time.
Have a “Boo of the Booless” sticker on your car
This is free game we’re giving you. If you come out single at the other end, don’t blame it on us, and don’t blame it on Chike. It’s definitely your village people.
Attend his Trace Live concert
After you’ve done all those things, don’t forget to attend the next edition of Trace Live where he’ll be performing. You already know his music will have you in your feels, and what better state to meet the love of your life?
It’s happening on the 4th of August at the Terra Kulture Arena by 7 pm. It’s your chance to get boo’d up, and you can’t afford to miss it.
A step in the right direction because these recruiters are not realistic with their 24/25-year-old requirement. This is Nigeria, please let’s be for real.
Odogwu is taking Davido’s “new cat” comment in good faith. For Burna, being a new cat gives him more longevity and stretches his lifespan in the industry. Perspective baby, perspective.
Yes to youth inclusion in government, but the opposition is coming for Governor Adeleke’s head for driving nepotism. Tunegee is his nephew and son of late Osun state governor, Isiaka Adeleke.
The good doctor is back on Twitter after a three-year break in the midst of heated rape accusations by his ex-lover, Bola Aseyan. Dr Funmi was exonerated of rape, sexual, and emotional abuse by the UK’s Medical Practitioners Tribunal Service.
Most people are horrified at the university’s sudden tuition increment from ₦19k to over ₦140k. Fellow Nigerians also have one question: Will the quality of education improve?
According to the CEO, Mele Kyari, “There is no supply issue; when you go to the market, you buy the product. You come to the market and sell it at the prevailing market prices, nothing to do with supply issues.”
Students of Federal Unity Colleges will now be required to pay ₦100k from a previous ₦45k for school fees. Does Jagaban really want the poor to breathe?
Brymo in an audio recording shared on Twitter, said he doesn’t feel bad because he wanted to “experience the outcome of making music with a female act he was bedding”. Ew.
As the 2023-24 season approaches, football clubs around the world are collaborating with major sporting brands to create their team jerseys. Zikoko presents 10 of the hottest new jerseys released.
The simple white design is the trademark of all Real Madrid home jerseys, and the gold stripes on the collar, shoulder and sleeves give it an extra pop. You can wear this jersey on your wedding day.
Adidas went all out on this one. It’s clean, simple and easily identifiable. The three-stripe Adidas trademark makes an appearance on the v-neck, elevating the look even further.
You might ask, what can you do with just black and white? Juventus knows how to make these simple colours iconic every time. Now, they look like Zebra stripes. And the gold accent is everything.
The invincible team of 2004 jersey inspired this 20th anniversary version. It features vertical zigzag lines that make it stand out. But what’s with the gold stripes on everyone’s jersey this season? Anyway, Arsenal may have lost the league last season, but they can at least look good as they make another title charge.
Ajax’s Bob Marley-inspired jersey was a big online sensation in 2022, but this is the first time in over 30 years that they’ll have a white away jersey, and they made sure not to miss. The light pink and green pattern subtly plastered across the jersey is just too brilliant a touch.
This catchy design is the result of a contest organised to appreciate their fans across the world. The jersey features a silhouette of the home stadium across the front. Not many designs can make black and yellow look better than Lagos danfos, but Dortmund fans understood the assignment.
What makes this kit special is the absence of a sponsor name on the front, leaving the focus on the timeless design. It’s a nostalgic nod to the 90s, paying tribute to the club’s iconic 1997-98 season. The reflective gold logos add to that vintage feel.
This jersey draws inspiration from the Monte Rosa mountain in Turin, Italy. Departing from their traditional black away kits of recent years, Juventus’s new jersey looks fresh and vibrant in white and Barbie pastel.
The jersey pays homage to the vibrant energy of the city of Milan, and the enduring legacy of the club, with mesmerising tonal graphics. The real showstopper lies in the black and red stripes that ingeniously form an ‘M’ at the center of the jersey, seamlessly blending with the tonal stripes.
There isn’t much going on here, but that’s exactly what this jersey has going for it. The white collar and sleeve cuffs highlight the cherry-red body of the jersey perfectly.
At 6.03 p.m. on July 3rd, 2023, the referee took one last look at his watch, and in three quick breaths, blew his whistle. Sporting Lagos, the team in the blue jersey, had won by 2 goals to nil against Abeokuta Stormers.
Sporting Lagos had gotten an important job done. Their win meant they’d successfully completed what they set out to do at the beginning of the season. In less than two years, they’d become a top-flight team with a social media following of over 35,000 and would play in the Nigerian Premier Football League (NPFL) the next season.
How did they do it?
Sporting Lagos players celebrate as their promotion is confirmed
Let’s Go Sporting: The Beginning
On February 3, 2022, Sporting Lagos was introduced to the world and started its race to play first-division Nigerian football.
When a new football club is created in Nigeria, they start in the lower tiers of club football and work their way up to the first division. Sporting Lagos started their journey in the Nigerian National League (NNL), and like any ambitious club, wanted promotion into the Nigerian Premier Football League (NPFL) in their first season. But such a feat doesn’t come easily. For context, Remo Stars FC, also a privately-owned club, played in the NNL for six years before their promotion into the first division in 2016.
On February 13, 2022, The Sporting Lagos team filed out at Teslim Balogun Stadium for their debut match against Go Round FC of Rivers State. That match ended in a 1-1 draw. Sporting Lagos would endure a tough first season, winning only eight out of 24 matches played, and finishing in the bottom half of the table.
Although Sporting Lagos didn’t gain promotion, they were building something they could be proud of — a community of supporters.
Let’s Go Sporting: A Community of Young Football Fans
Sporting Fans
Every football club is made of directors, players, coaching and non-coaching staff, but the supporters bring it all together. Any team that has a strong fan base plays with an extra sense of confidence. The supporters are the driving force, the engine.
The most successful football clubs and tournaments are well known because of the effort they put into fan engagement. The clubs regarded as the biggest aren’t always the richest, but those with the most fans. Even the World Cup is driven by building a community of fans. With a global audience of over 1.5 billion viewers, it’s one of the most commercially viable ventures in the world.
Sporting Lagos’ understanding of the fan community is clear in the way it engaged them.
Rector, an event management consultant, has worked with Sporting Lagos since 2022 and helped the club build a fan base of match-goers in Lagos State tertiary institutions, especially the Lagos State University of Technology (LASUTECH). He’s part of the club’s strategy to attract fans to match venues and provide the best match-day experience.
“Many people aren’t interested in watching local live matches. We have to find a way to convince them. After enjoying themselves at one Sporting Lagos match, it’s a lot easier to convince them to come for another one,” he said.
“Sporting Lagos targets the student community in higher institutions in Lagos — University of Lagos, Lagos State University, Federal College of Education, Yaba College of Technology and Lagos State University of Technology (LASUTECH).”
Rector, a LASUTECH alumnus himself, had been organising parties in and around Ikorodu since 2021, which made him the ideal candidate to preach the gospel of Sporting Lagos to young people in the area.
To build a true football-loving community, Sporting Lagos understood that universities are hotspots for young passionate people, so they invested in consultants like Rector with networks in Lagos-based higher institutions.
Sporting Lagos provided the students with transportation to and from the Mobolaji Johnson Arena, the club’s current home stadium and this made the persuasion process easier. By their second season in the NNL, about 1,000 students attended Sporting Lagos games.
These days, a convincing indication of Sporting’s appeal to the public is the array of fans that come out to watch their games. A staggering number of Gen Zs and millennials troop in on every match day. The spectators are not short of older folks either, but a bulk of the fans are young people.
Sporting Fans
Matchdays at Sporting Lagos’ home stadium feature celebrity appearances and performances. There are also several halftime games. One that’s particularly attention-grabbing is a raffle draw to pick fans who are given a chance to play penalty kicks and win cash prizes of up to ₦100k if they score.
With ticket prices ranging from ₦50k for VIPs to as low as ₦1k, everyone is guaranteed their money’s worth.
Sporting Lagos’ commitment to creating the best matchday experience works so well that people who were passive football followers have been converted into passionate fans and now have an incentive to go to these matches.
“I don’t even like football like that, but I love going to these games. It’s like a party where you just come to have fun. You meet and vibe with other fans,” Aminat, a LASUTECH student and Sporting Lagos fan said.
Sporting Lagos’ Second Season and How Big Dreams Are Sponsored
While the Nigerian League isn’t on the same level as its European counterparts, there’s been a conscious effort to boost its reputation. A major problem the league faces is most of the clubs are government-owned, and most administrations see sports as a secondary venture, preferring to focus the budget on other sectors. Where medical doctors are often owed salaries, for example, the renovation of a football team’s training ground is an expense that can wait.
Private football clubs take the burden of sports administration off the government while giving the fans what they want — a strong, well-established team they can rally behind. Private clubs need money, and for Sporting Lagos, this meant they needed sponsors.
March 2023 was a turning point in Sporting Lagos’ NPFL ambitions, chronicled by two announcements. Sporting Lagos had bagged multiple partnerships with big brands, but none bigger than an e-commerce tech company, Klasha, its official sponsor. They also appointed a new coach, Paul Offor, to lead the team to first-division glory.
An animated Paul Offor on the touchline.
The NNL also had some news, announcing changes to the league structure. The league was divided into two conferences: Northern and Southern. There’d be four groups of six teams in each conference, and the teams that led their respective groups would qualify for the promotion round of games, called the playoffs.
NNL League Structure
Subsequently, the eight teams that made the playoffs would be split into two groups of four teams. The top two teams from each group would gain promotion to the top division — The Nigerian Professional Football League (NPFL).
Playoffs Structure
And the race started again.
Perhaps due to the world-class equipment accessed through the Klasha deal or the appointment of the new team coach — Sporting Lagos ended the new season with a spot in the NPFL playoff. By their final game for the season, Sporting only needed to top Ijebu United’s result as they were tied on points to advance to the playoffs. Their 4-0 victory over Smart City FC at home on June 13, 2023, was enough to do this. Although Ijebu United beat Joy Cometh FC 3-1, it wasn’t enough to guarantee a playoff spot for them.
Sporting Lagos advanced to the playoffs on goal difference.
In the three-game-long group stage of the playoff round, they won their first game, earning a hard-fought 1-0 win over FC One Rocket, before storming past Abeokuta Stormers Sports Club in a 2-0 victory. They lost the last game of the group 2-1 against Heartland — the eventual NNL champions. But they finished second in the group, and it was all they needed to book their spot in the NPFL next season.
Winning the NNL would’ve been great. However, if you had told them at the start of the season that they would gain promotion into the NPFL, they probably would’ve missed a heartbeat.
Sporting Fans
Let’s Go Sporting, Let’s Go!
We’re witnessing the fastest organic growth a Nigerian football club has seen in decades. But regardless of how well Sporting Lagos does in the NPFL, the story of a club that prides itself in fan-focused entertainment is one that will interest people for a long time to come.
“Sporting’s mix of football and the Lagos fun culture is a glimpse into what is possible if grassroots football is taken seriously in Nigeria. Hopefully, many well-run football clubs in the NPFL will spring up from the Sporting example and make Nigerian football fun again,” Ayoola, a writer at Pulse Sports, told Zikoko.
Coach Paul Offor, barking orders at Ozaveshe Balogun.
Perhaps the culture of Sporting Lagos — one that builds a fanbase from the ground up, makes tough decisions like hiring a new coach, and closes deals that propel dreams — is efficiency. According to Rector, the event consultant, one of the reasons why he enjoys working with Sporting is the efficiency of salary payment.
“If it was one government club now, they’d say the head of financial affairs or something hasn’t signed off on our payment yet,” he said, laughing at the idea of carrying out the same job for a government-owned club.
Apart from the money, he stressed how organised the whole setup is. “This team will gain promotion soon. I can feel it,” he said.
He was right.
Rector is not the only believer in the Sporting Lagos project. Jidechi, a journalist, told Zikoko that he’s been impressed by Sporting Lagos’ growth in the past year.
“I’ve been at most of their home matches, and they understand how to run a football club like real professionals. When you’re fan-centric as a football business, the results will show. Not many clubs in Nigeria understand this, but Sporting — despite being just barely over a year old — are hacking it already,” he said.
The 2022/2023 season was an unprecedented fairytale campaign for Sporting Lagos, but two years of work, growth and courage from everyone involved with the football club got them here. The good thing is that the story isn’t over, and as this chapter of Sporting Lagos in the NNL ends, the one that tells the story of their journey in the NPFL is set to begin.
Zikoko sits in the corner staring at their half-eaten plate of small chops when they hear the drums.
Puff Puff dances into the office, followed by her local drummers and entourage.
Zikoko: This is…
Puff Puff: My friend, join me to dance! You know my story.
Zikoko: I don’t want to be that person but… we’re on the clock.
Puff Puff: That’s true. You’re right.
Puff Puff sends her entourage away and finally takes her seat.
Zikoko: Welcome back to Interview With.
Puff Puff: Thank you o. Thank you. The last time, I was here with those ingrates. Today, I have the floor.
Zikoko: Ah yes. You people’s association of finger foods they don’t send message.
Puff Puff:
Zikoko: I’m talking about them, not you. As we can all see, you’re thriving on your own.
Puff Puff: Say it again. Those small children wanted to drag space with me. Me! But look at life now. I will always be on top, and they’ll remain under me. They don’t even have the range I command.
Zikoko: Speak your truth, Puff Puff.
Puff Puff: Me that I was so good they named me twice, that low-budget gala, and the triangle one that’ll continue to have identity crisis. They hate on me, but I showed them.
Zikoko: Name and shame them, Puff Puff. Name and shame them.
Puff Puff: Spring roll and samosa, I’m talking about the two both of them. Because I was having a bad year, they thought they could insult an OG like me.
Zikoko: But people are still complaining about you.
Puff Puff: Where?
Zikoko: Ahh, everywhere o. They’re complaining about all the shape-shift you used to shape-shift.
Puff Puff: Me, shape-shift? I don’t do that.
Zikoko: They’re also saying you’re in your identity crisis era.
Puff Puff: Me?
Zikoko: They said you’re doing too much. Today, pepper. Tomorrow, Noreos. The day after, Oreos. The people are starting to get scared. They don’t know what they might find when they bite into puff puff these days.
Puff Puff:
They’re all haters and clout chasers, and they can’t even cook.
Zikoko: Shhh.
Puff Puff: Don’t silence me. Customer is right, customer is right. Today, customer is wrong. I give people variety. However you want your puff puff, you can get it. If you dream it, you can achieve it.
Puff Buff: You’re right, I shouldn’t be giving people ideas. If they sha don’t like one, they can find another that suits their taste better.
Zikoko: True.
Puff Puff: Why is your face still like that?
Zikoko: Sorry, that your strawberry comment just made me remember rainbow puff puff.
Puff Puff: What’s wrong with that? Same wonderful taste in different colours.
Zikoko:
Puff Puff: Sorry.
Zikoko: Please, tell us about your come-up story.
Puff Puff: Hmm, I know I don’t look a day above 19…
Zikoko:
Puff Puff: …but I’m old. I’ve been in this food business for a while now. It hasn’t always been stable, but I’ve always had my people and fans, the popping puffers, behind me.
Zikoko: That’s the name of your fanbase?
Puff Puff: It’s not good?
Zikoko: If your fans like it.
Puff Puff: Aren’t you a fan?
Zikoko:
You got me, you got me.
Puff Puff: Anyway, my core fans have always been there, but the haters always hate and spread rumours about me. They started with the playground lie, and that one made things tough for a while.
Zikoko:…
Puff Puff: I now decided to join those ingrates and their useless small chops association. That’s when the haters started coming from everywhere to insult me. They said I was always too much. Before nko? The people that fill the pack with me know I’m the life of the party. That’s why they want me there.
Zikoko: It’s like you have plenty haters and enemies.
Puff Puff: Shebi, you too you are seeing it.
Zikoko: You don’t think it might be because of your bad behaviour?
Puff Puff:
Are you one of them?
Zikoko: One of what?
Puff Puff: My haters.
Zikoko pushes their plate of small chops away, with its ten puff puff pieces laying in the cold.
Zikoko: Never
Puff Puff: Better
Zikoko: Before you leave, do you have anything else you want to say to your haters?
Puff Puff: Shame to bad belle people. I am the winner, you are the loser.
Dreadlock styles may seem super expensive and difficult to maintain, but that’s not the entire truth.
There are several loc styles, from low to high budget, that require little to no maintenance.
Dreadlock styles for men
If you’re a guy who’s thinking of upgrading your hair game, here’s a list of styles you should consider.
Long twisted locs
A cool option to try if you’ve grown out your locs for a while. You might also want to throw in some colour for extra pop.
Cornrow dreads with a side cut
For clean dreadlocks and fresh cut combo that always gets the baddies going.
Mohawk locs with a bun
The thing with mohawk locs is that you can go as wild as you want with the sides. A side cut and parting is always a winner.
Short twisted locs
Source: Instagram/@nigerianlocs
This is the shorter variation of long twisted locs. A cool choice for those who’re still training their locs.
Jumbo spiky locs
Source: Instagram/@dreadspalaceabuja
You might have some difficulty sleeping properly, but this is a top-tier style that’ll easily set you apart.
Side-swept short locs with fade
Source: Instagram/@dreads_and_naturals
Throw in some dye to the tips, and you just might cause trouble for people in relationships when you step out.
Macro locs
Source:Instagram/@dreads_and_naturals
Men can also rock macro locs and look fire in it.
Criss-cross locs
This can last for weeks or months depending on what suits you.
Bob Marley locs
Source: Instagram/@nigerianlocs
Trying to get into the Jamaican Rastafarian vibe? Here’s your stop, but it’s high maintenance.
Braided locs with ponytail
Source: Pinterest
One cool advantage of having long locs? You can style it into a ponytail.
Blonde spiky locs
Source: Instagram/@dreadlocks_guru
It doesn’t even have to be blonde. You can try other interesting colours like honey brown, burgundy, or whatever suits your complexion.
Long blond locs
Just look at this and say it’s not a hot serve. The only downside is you’ll spend all your coins on keeping it clean.
Side-swept spiky locs with a fade
Source: Instagram/@elozonam
A bold look if you like to do many things with your hair and still keep it clean. Four things going on here: Blonde colour, spiky locs, hard-parting and a fade.
Jombo twisted locs
Source: Instagram/@dreadlocks_guru
Unlike the spiky jombo locks that’ll disrupt your sleep, this is a much more convenient option. And you’ll still look like today’s Agege bread.
High-top locs with strands
Source: Instagram/Instagram/@dreadlocks_guru
Another nice option if you want to enjoy a clean cut.
Dreadlock hairstyles for women
Locs are a perfect option if you’re a lady who doesn’t enjoy the weekly run to hair salons. You might spend money and extra hours on maintenance, but will you notice if you only go to the salon once a month? Whether you’ve made a decision or are still considering, here are dreadlock styles that should be on your radar.
Side-swept braided locs
Source: Instagram/@dreadlocks_guru
This dreadlock hairstyle can take your look from zero to 100 real quick — in a good way. You might have trouble sleeping sha.
Dyed spiked locs
Source: Instagram/@dreadlocks_guru
A real killer style for Gen Z baddies looking to experiment with locs.
Mini bantu locs
Source: Instagram/@dreadlocks_guru
Might look painful, but this is one style to go for if you want to occasionally pour water on your head and have zero worries about sleeping positions.
Lenthy curly locs
Source: Instagram/@dreadlocks_guru
Best for those who want interesting ways to style their long locs. You can either visit a loctician or DIY with bendable rollers for this look.
Starter locs
For when you’re just starting your dreadlocks journey.
Double-bun locs
Source: Instagram/@dreadlocks_guru
A hard yes to this look because you can even do it yourself.
Mohawk with spiky locs
Source:Instagram/@dreadlocks_guru
Only hot babes can combine spiky locs with a mohawk and make it look good.
Micro locs
Source: Instagram/@nigerianlocs
You’ll satisfy your craving for locs and still get to make other non-loc hairstyles if you want.
Jumbo bun
Source: Instagram/@dreadsbytms
You’ll need lengthy locs or lock extensions to pull this look off.
Dyed bantu locs
Source: Instagram/@dreadlocks_guru
A simple way to take your bantu locs from regular to baddie status? Throw in some colour.
Micro locs in cornrows
Source: Instagram/@dreads_and_naturals
The versatility of cornrows! Try this look if you already have macro locs and want a stylish way to retwist them.
Barrel roll locs
Source: Instagram/@dreadspalaceabuja
Not a fan of free falling or cornrow dreads? This is a nice and easy-to-maintain alternative.
Bob locs
For baddies with lenghty locs, looking for a fun way to style them. Add baby curls for that extra jazz, or not.
Short locs with dyed tips
Source: Instagram/@dreadspalaceabuja
One of the dreadlock styles that is a lifesaver when you don’t want to do too much with your locs but still stand out.
Twisted locs
Go with a colour that suits your complexion or try a combo mix. Either way, this style will pop.
