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Leaving the shores of Nigeria could be a challenge or induce a culture shock to some especially when you are addicted to Nigerian food. For those who cannot live without it, here are some useful tips to finding food you want overseas.
1. First whip out your phone and…
Sometimes you may just get a bunch of random blog sites telling you about random African food. So annoying when you are hungry. Is that why we are here?
2. Look for any Nigerian.
This should not be a hard task as there are Nigerians even on Mars I suppose. Best bet is they know where you can find Nigerian food. I mean how else will they have survived!
3. For students, Look out for one of these:
10 out of 10 times you will find Nigerians, and people that know where to get the best food items you crave.
4. International Aisles:
For any big supermarket chain, run all the way to the aisle marked “International”. You may be lucky to get some items you are used to seeing in Nigeria (especially Indomie or Maggi).
5. Asian Stores:
Funny enough these brothers of ours have some items that we love! Like Palm Oil. Yes Palm Oil. There is something about Asians and Africans…
6. Caribbean Stores:
These stores could also have a number of items that you may want. Caribbean food is really a lot similar to African/Nigerian food. Remember to say Wagwan when you enter.
7. African Stores:
They never fail. I mean its supposed to be an “African Store” but most times are owned by Nigerians and have 70% Nigerian food items. It has everything from Suya to Dudu Osun trust me.
8. Nigerian Weddings/Events:
This is one default place to find Nigerian food of course. Be ears to the ground for happenings within the Nigerian community and grace the occasion with your presence and empty tummy. The food is always Lit!
9. Church/Mosque:
If all else fails, run to God, literally. Almost every Nigerian church/Mosque abroad serves Nigerian food after service. Just wait after service and you will be blessed!
These are just a few ways you can get that steaming hot plate of Jollof or Egusi soup and poundo wherever you are in the world. Don’t say we did not tell you!
Black Friday if you did not know is a day reserved in November where prices are slashed and reduced drastically and companies give huge discounts and gift cards on item purchases, nobody ever wants to miss it. Here is a Black Friday experience and we are not alone on this for sure!
1. People who always say “I am waiting for Black Friday” all year long.
Okay now let us see about that, the day is coming.
2. And they never stop blabbing about it once November starts.
Can we hear word please?
3. But then you check what the hype is all about.
Well it would not hurt to see what it is about.
4. And then you see a ridiculous price for an item you’ve always wanted.
You don’t mean it!
5. And you become the number one face of “Waiting for Black Friday”.
We are about to buy out the store!
6. So you buy data and wait on the website for the deals to drop.
We all gonna die on the line.
7. And you keep refreshing the page…
I must not miss this thing today.
8. But then something looks fishy.
Oh no I did not wait ten months for this.
9. The site is crashing.
What is going on? What is happening?
10. And then the page finally loads back up!
I was about to lose hope.
11. But the item is sold out.
*cries in failed promises and expectations* What a waste, what is life, what do we have to live for.
Being born into a Nigerian (in fact, any African) home is different from being born in another home. Just look at how every stage of your life is peculiar.
1. When you are glad you can finally walk and stand on your own.
But they are really happy you can now start doing the dishes.
2. When you hear “Go and wear your slippers so we can go out”.
What a betrayal.
3. When you are hungry and get offered food in public.
And your mum answers “Thanks we just ate before we left home”.
4. When your mum catches you collecting sweets from strangers.
Can the floor just swallow me now?
5. Getting all A’s and one B and you hear “Your mates that had all A’s”.
Why so unappreciative?
6. Getting your clothes two sizes bigger with “You will grow into it”.
Oh great! Just what I needed!
7. When you ask your parents for money, but they are always broke.
Yes I can see that!
8. When its finally the holidays and you get “Are you reading ahead?”
And you reply with “We are on holidays”.
9. And you hear “That is why you never get all A’s”.
Somebody cannot even play with you small.
10. The dreaded 4 hour speech when you are leaving for university.
Oh Jesus can you come back right now.
11. When you tell your parents you want to quit school to make music.
Are you being manipulated?
12. When you hear “When will you start working” two days after graduation.
Is that how it is done sir?
13. And then you start getting the “When will you marry?”
Please I’m still a baby boy.
Of course, when it’s your own turn, you make sure your children go through the same thing. How else will they be alright?!
Used when your behavior just defies all understanding.
“Why are you flying your shirt like an agbero? So you have joined bad gang?”
2. “Am I your mate?”
Used when they are saying one thing and you are saying two things.
“I am talking and you too you are talking. Am I now your mate?”
3. “You’ve grown wings.”
Used when you are trying to form adult in front them.
“AH! So you’ve grown wings abi?”
4. “Before I open my eyes…”
Used when they want to give you adequate time to escape before they kill you.
“My friend, you better get out of my front before I open my eyes.”
5. “Let me keep it for you.”
Used when they want your money. You’ll most likely never see it again.
“Aunty said she gave you money, bring it let me keep it for you.”
6. “If you like…”
It actually means “if you want to die”
“If you like, don’t be inside this house by 6.”
7. “I did not kill my parents, you will not kill me.”
Used they are reaching the peak of their stress levels.
“I did not kill my parents, you will not kill me. It’s me that will kill you first.”
8. “…there is rice in the fridge.”
Used whenever you bring up eating outside.
“Mummy, can we branch Mr. Biggs?”
“Why? When there is rice in the fridge.”
9. “When I was your age…”
Used when they are about to exaggerate.
“When I was your mate, I used to walk past 4 villages just to get to school”
10. “Let us clean the house.”
Used when they want YOU to clean the house.
“Oya, let US clean this house.”
*sits and crosses leg*
11. “We will soon leave.”
Used when you will be there for at least another hour.
“Tunde get ready, we will soon be going.”
12. “Oya come and beat me.”
Used when you make the fatal error of trying to talk back to them or worse, dodge a slap.
“Oh? You are now a man abi? Oya come and beat me now.”
13. “See your life.”
Used when they want you to reflect on your own stupidity.
“So this is the result you brought home? You see your life, when all you know is to be pressing phone.”
14. “Can’t they come to your own house?”
Used when you want to go visit a friend.
“Everytime Folake’s house, Cynthia’s house. Can’t they come to your own house? Or you want them to think you don’t have house?”
15. “Have you seen me this morning?”
Used when you don’t greet them quickly enough.
“So you cannot greet, abi? Have you seen me this morning?”
A few weeks back we shared these 14 beautiful pictures of Northern Nigeria which featured some of the beauty in Yola and Bauchi. And we’ve got more images today! This time highlighting the beauty of Kano.
Zikoko contributor, Kolapo Oladapo shared some of his shots from Kano with us:
1. This section of the palace of the Emir.
2. The path to the fourth gate of the palace.
3. This picture of a young boy tending to his horse.
4. What a beauty!
5. A female baby horse being tended to be this young boy.
6. All the suya you could ever want!
7. This picture of the suya village.
8. Hungry yet?
9. This colourful image of fresh food in a market.
10. The Crescent Secondary school’s football pitch.
11. Young men enjoying a football game on the polo grounds.
12. A man in a football jersey enjoying a game of polo.
13. This shot of a Fulani kid.
14. Fulani kids happily riding their bicycle.
15. A Fulani house.
16. This image of the Kano streets.
17. This shot of the Ado Bayero Mall.
All images by Kolapo Oladapo.
Got any beautiful shots of Nigeria? Share them with us!
You travelled for business? Pleasure? It doesn’t quite matter which. All that matters is that you temporarily escaped the mad house of your beloved Nigeria. Temporarily. And now, it is finally time to go back. Long sigh.
We know exactly how you feel. Because every time you’ve had to go back, you are like:
1. Kai, it’s time to go already?
Abroad, I’m gonna miss you.
2. You are already thinking about your next trip.
3. Then you spy all those Nigerians at the boarding gate…
Supporters club of life and destiny.
4. And you’re real happy to hear folk speaking a familiar language.
Doesn’t matter if you are Yoruba and they are speaking Tiv, Naija knows Naija.
5. Until the familiar Nigerian energy starts making you tired inside.
After keeping us waiting for years, Adele dropped the most powerful ballad of 2015.
Since it’s release, ‘Hello’ has gone platinum, spawned the hilarious Hello challenge, made Sean Tizzle popular again and blessed us with amazing covers by other artists.
Here are 11 covers you really, really have to listen to:
1. This hair-raising cover by a Korean school girl.
2. Remember Joe? The R&B star? Well, listen to his flawless cover. You will never forget him again.
3. Omawumi’s unique reggae cover of ‘Hello’ that caused Sean Tizzle to make this statement..
Why is that @Omawumi sings the best cover to "Hello" & it's not a big deal but @Adele sings a weak version & gets over 230 million views?
Like most typical Nigerians, when I fall ill and it isn’t a cold or cough, I automatically assume it’s malaria.
After taking malaria drugs and my symptoms still persist, I don’t consult a doctor. I take typhoid drugs, because if it’s not malaria, it must be typhoid.
Then when it doesn’t work either, I’ll then consult my doctor.
But self-diagnosis can be dangerous.
What if we told you that you can safely check whether or not you have malaria?
Yes, it’s true. A test kit with which you can determine whether or not you have the malaria parasite now exists.
The kit called ‘The Urine Malaria Test’ is created by Fyodor, a US based biotechnology firm founded by one of our own, Eddy Agbo.
The UMT kit won Fyodor the inaugural 2015 Health Innovation Challenge Awards in Nigeria this month. The award is backed by the Private Sector Health Alliance of Nigeria (PHN) and comes with a grant of $100,000, with support for PHN from backers including: Bill Gates, Aliko Dangote and Goodluck Jonathan.
With this urine test kit, you’re provided with point-of-need diagnosis of the Plasmodium parasite using dipstick technology.
This kit uses the same technology as that of manual pregnancy tests. And you get your results under 20 minutes.
No need to pay for lab tests anymore!
All ye who are scared of needles and syringes, rejoice! AND, you save your money too.
Featured image via NCPR.
Or the last time you had a chance to catch the bouquet was five years ago.
2. You’ve attended so many weddings, you can lecture the wedding MC.
You even know every good reception hall in Lagos. And all the wedding vendors know you by first name and face.
3. Your friends kids are old enough to call you uncle/aunty.
4. You have so many bride’s maid dresses or suits and agbada that you can basically open your own boutique.
5. You can feel your biological clock ticking.
6. Your mother has stopped fasting for your marriage because she can’t come and die.
7. When all your friends can’t hang out on Saturday morning because they now have to attend PTA meetings.
8. Your Pastor appoints you the head of the Singles’ Fellowship.
You’ve been the head of the Singles’ fellowship for five years. Under your leadership, membership has grown. They should just impeach you.
9. When the invitations to events you get are now addressed to Mr, and Mrs _________ .
10. Rent is going up.
Why me?
11. They’ve refused to promote you at work for the past three years.
What’s all this discrimination?
12. Netflix and chill is now Netflix and snore. Enthusiasm levels have ebbed.
13. You now find booty calls annoying.
14. Your only confidante is now your teddy bear. Or a damp pillow. You used to have a BFF, but your BFF married their new BFF.
Please, go and marry.
15. You are contemplating becoming president.
You are convinced that your future self will become president, so you have to advice now self to marry. Or nobody will take your future self seriously.
An Apple store in Melbourne, Australia is being accused of racially profiling a group of black students of African descent.
The teenage boys, Abdulahi, Gereng, Ose (Ésë), Mabior, Mohamed, and Petrieaged said they were approached by Apple store employees in Maribyrnong, Melbourne where they were asked to leave out of fear that they might ‘steal something’.
So being black in a store means you’re looking to steal?? You can’t just be there to maybe PURCHASE something? Or window shop?
The teenage boys who are students of Maribyrnong College moved to Australia as children from Sudan, Somalia, Nigeria, Eritrea and Egypt. They were denied entry to the store by a staff member and two security guards.
Video footage of the incident was captured by one of the students, Francis Ose (Ésë) and has been viewed over 70,000 times.
https://www.facebook.com/eseose.oseghale/videos/759395487523343/
In the footage the Apple store employee can be heard saying “These guys are just a bit worried about your presence in the store. They are just worried you might steal something”.
To which one of the boys replies “Why would we steal something?”.
“Guys, end of discussion” the employee cuts off.
Many people are understandably outraged.
Australia's logic: darker pigmentation correlates with stealing @Crypticgirl_
Clearly the #BlackLivesMatter movement needs to spread to other parts of the western world.
The boys have received a lot of press in Australia due to this incident.
Speaking to 9NEWS in Australia, one of the boys, Abdulahi Haji Ali said,
“Because we were a group of black males – teenagers – and teenagers do a lot of stupid stuff but you still can’t give black people that stereotype”.
Apple has since apologised and said everyone is welcome in its stores.
And ironically, one of Apple’s CEO Tim Cook’s beliefs on diversity and inclusion, was quoted by the Apple spokesperson:
“We want every person who joins our team, every customer visiting our stores or calling for support to feel welcome. We believe in equality for everyone, regardless of race, age, gender, gender identity, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation. That applies throughout our company, around the world with no exceptions”.
After more drama than the entire Telemundo channel put together, Rotimi Amaechi has been sworn in as the Federal Minister of Transportation.
Congratulations to him but we are interested in how to get our own. That’s why Zikoko has put together this strong manual on how to achieve success in 14 easy steps using Rotimi Amaechi as a template.
Get ready to learn. Your success is around the corner!
1. Remember to be diligent for your boss.
Some people are not serious – too lazy or proud to do simple tasks. Don’t be one of them. Even if it means carrying microphone for your boss when he’s making a speech you wrote and he doesn’t understand, keep at it. That’s how it starts.
2. And laugh with your enemies.
Laughter won’t kill you. Doesn’t the Bible say you should bless your enemies? It doesn’t matter if your enemy is your oga’s wife or his side chick, my friend open your mouth and laugh. Sometimes you’re laughing at them but it doesn’t matter as long as you’re laughing.
3. Even when they can’t count.
I mean, how is 16 greater than 19?
Sometimes, your boss miscalculates. No one is above mistake. Sometimes, they miscalculate your salary and only pay you 50% of what you agreed. Sometimes, they miscalculate the days of the month and only pay you once every 8 months. No vex, no one is above mistake.
4. And want to cheat you of your inheritance
NO, HOW IS SIXTEEN GREATER THAN NINETEEN?
To be honest, I don’t really know. Sometimes, you will face injustice and ignore. Sometimes, you will react. But make sure the mathematics is on your side. Better that you don’t make mistake in your own calculation too.
5. Praise God in everything
Don’t forget to add shoki to your praise. The devil hates shoki. Go to a good church and dance your wahala away. There is a blessing in the dance, abi how do pastors normally say it.
6. Do any job you are given very well, you never know where it will end up!
Why should a monorail mistake derail you?
Like we’ve said before, no one is above mistake. Don’t be one of those people always looking backwards. Anything can happen in your future. Be bold, buy original Beats By Dre and ignore the haters!
8. Some days will be easy
And everything will be sweet. Every drink will taste like it has sugar and nothing will do you one kind. Better enjoy those days because it’s like devil has gone for check up and has left you for a bit. Other days are coming.
9. Some days will be weird
Please why is this man pulling my ear?
On your road to your new destination, you will experience strange things. Repeat this to yourself, “na me dey find something“.
10. But keep singing and rejoicing
Open your mouth and sing. Sing praise songs. Sing reggae songs, then add blues after. Sing hip-hop sef. But don’t sing Adele’s “Hello”. That song can’t help you in tough times – the only person that song has helped is Adele.
11. And dancing
Pastors recommend it. Fitness experts recommend it. Dance and forget your troubles. You can’t come and go and kill yourself! Does it matter if you’re a terrible dancer?
12. Dress for the job you want.
After all, a minister has to be a model citizen. It pays to be bold and adventurous in your fashion choices. It’s good practice for the real work you’re aiming for and it gets you noticed.
13. And one day, you will be surprised with good news
All your work has paid off. They’ve called you to collect the job. Or the contract. Your hustle has clicked. You don get alert, #Godwin. Now is the time to change your phone number so that all the people that will now start asking you for things will let you rest.
14. And you know you’ve got victory over your enemies
Congratulations, Mr. Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi!
Now the work begins.
If you grew up an ajepako, then you’ll relate with this list on an almost spiritual level, but if you didn’t, you’ll go through it wondering what the hell we are talking about.
1. This was your unofficial car:
“Driven” with either your hand or a stick.
2. Your parents got called Mummy and Daddy [Your first name].
Instead of Mr and Mrs [Your Last Name].
3. Making your kite out of polythene bags and broom sticks.
Stop forming, you did it.
4. Writing your name on paper and putting it into your biro.
No money to be replacing stolen biro up and down, abeg.
5. Playing the greatest childhood game ever:
Greatest childhood game the world has ever seen. This is not up for debate or discussion. pic.twitter.com/ZQFwe3QmPe
Are you a single lady, tired of meeting the wrong type of guys? You might only be meeting chewing gum boys, because you don’t go to correct places to meet eligible bachelors. We’re here to help make your ministry flourish.
Now, we’re back with places single ladies can meet the man of their dreams. And not just any kind –but the rich kind.
This is an investment, so be ready to spend money.
1. Any of the big hotels.
Surface Bar and Grill or Voyage Restaurant at Radisson Blu; Oriental Hotel lobby, Brazzerie restaurant at Four Points by Sheraton; the lounging area beside the swimming pool at Eko Hotel.
If you’re broke, the hotel receptions or garages are good alternatives.
2. Any of Lagos’ big churches.
This is for the Christian sisters. Just go to House on the Rock, COZA, Daystar, Harvesters, or Redeemed Christian Church of God (not any, it must be City of David).
There are potential baes waiting.
3. Murtala Muhammed Airport (local or international).
So scrape together all your money and take a trip when next you need to travel. If you’re broke, just pretend you’re there to pick a friend or family that just landed and hang around.
4. Banana Island Estate main gate or back gate.
Why the gate? Because, if you don’t know anyone there or weren’t invited, security won’t let you in. So, to avoid embarrassing yourself, make sure you take a cab, or to be inconspicuous, take an Uber.
5. Chevron Estate, Lekki.
Again, make sure you have something planned to do there, maybe jogging; or you charter a cab.
6. Pan-Atlantic University (formerly Pan-African University).
Everybody here, both students and faculty are more than well-to-do and have access to the country’s influencers. So find ways to visit the place on a frequent basis. But your best bet is to take a course there.
7. The shopping malls.
Yes, we know that malls aren’t among the cool places to be these days. But there are still places in them where you can meet the potential hubby. E.g Café Vergnano at The Palms. So go exploring for the cool spots in the mall and hang around there.
8. Wedding receptions on the Island.
If you’re a bold woman, you won’t mind wedding crashing to find your man. The wedding receptions at exotic or expensive venues in V.I are your surest bet.
9. 1004 Estate staircase.
Because you can’t enter any apartment you like if you’re not visiting anybody. But you can hang around the staircase, who knows, you might even meet a nice white guy.
Honorable mentions:
10. Piccolo Restaurant.
11. Emperor Estate and Mayfair Gardens, Lekki.
12. Tarkwa Bay, Atican or Elegushi beach.
13. Accenture car park.
This one is easy. You don’t need a car, but you need to look like you own a car. So jingle the keys to the car you may or may not have, while you stroll through the parking lot in search of the car.
Please use at your own discretion. We shall not be held accountable.
The perfect camouflage.The robbers won’t even know what hit them.
11. Bullet-proof Nokia phone
Nokia is the very cheap alternative to the real bullet-proof vest and is said to be even more effective. Just put them where your vital organs are located.
Now, go forth and implement these. Protect yourself.
As an African woman, if you want to get a man, you can go anywhere. But if you want to be toasted properly, you need an Igbo man to do the honours.
And who better to teach this than Flavour…
Correct toasting! Watch Flavour & Juliana sing together on Coke Studio Africa below…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaCUUHaxt5E
… and don’t forget you can watch more videos on the Coke Studio Africa YouTube Channel here or catch it on TV at any of the stations listed here.
Nigerian boys, especially Yoruba boys have been receiving bad rep for some time now.
But is it justified? Well, it is according to Nigerian girls (with special emphasis on Yoruba chicks no less).
Leaving the shores of Nigeria could be a challenge or induce a culture shock to some especially when you are addicted to Nigerian food. For those who cannot live without it, here are some useful tips to finding food you want overseas.
Black Friday if you did not know is a day reserved in November where prices are slashed and reduced drastically and companies give huge discounts and gift cards on item purchases, nobody ever wants to miss it. Here is a Black Friday experience and we are not alone on this for sure!
A few weeks back we shared these 14 beautiful pictures of Northern Nigeria which featured some of the beauty in Yola and Bauchi. And we’ve got more images today! This time highlighting the beauty of Kano.
You travelled for business? Pleasure? It doesn’t quite matter which. All that matters is that you temporarily escaped the mad house of your beloved Nigeria. Temporarily. And now, it is finally time to go back. Long sigh. We know exactly how you feel. Because every time you’ve had to go back, you are like:
For some reason, Jacaranda trees are practically ubiquitous in Nairobi. They are everywhere!
Like most typical Nigerians, when I fall ill and it isn’t a cold or cough, I automatically assume it’s malaria.
After more drama than the entire Telemundo channel put together, Rotimi Amaechi has been sworn in as the Federal Minister of Transportation. Congratulations to him but we are interested in how to get our own. That’s why Zikoko has put together this strong manual on how to achieve success in 14 easy steps using Rotimi Amaechi as a template. Get ready to learn. Your success is around the corner!
Especially when you didn’t particularly study!
If you grew up an ajepako, then you’ll relate with this list on an almost spiritual level, but if you didn’t, you’ll go through it wondering what the hell we are talking about.
In some parts of our beloved Nigeria, armed robbery is rampant and we are not always well-equipped with the tools we need to protect ourselves.
As an African woman, if you want to get a man, you can go anywhere. But if you want to be toasted properly, you need an Igbo man to do the honours. And who better to teach this than Flavour…
Nigerian boys, especially Yoruba boys have been receiving bad rep for some time now. But is it justified? Well, it is according to Nigerian girls (with special emphasis on Yoruba chicks no less).
