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It is a fact, Nigerians on social media are savage and have zero chill. If you come for them, they will drag you all over the face of the Internet.
Which is what they are doing to a certain American singer.
So here’s what happened:
A couple days ago, this American singer, Pia Mia (not to be confused with Ota Pia Pia) released a song titled, “I’m a fan” with another singer, Jeremih.
The problem was, Phyno also had a song with the same title released in an album late last year.
Yes o. But that’s not all.
Pia Mia’s song was now very similar to Phyno’s song. In fact, eez like almost the same thing.
It’s very true o.
And naturally, when Nigerians found out they started shouting.
“THIEF! THIEF! THIEF!”
They first proved that something fishy was going on.
I WANT TO TAKE OFF MY BLOUSE, WRAP MY GELE AROUND MY WAIST AND WRESTLE THE VIDEO INTO THE MUD AND BEAT IT REPEATEDLY WITH MY SHOE UNTIL IT STOPS MOVING
In another episode of celebrities clapping back at rude people online, we have Davido VS a fan.
It all started when a video of a little boy singing Davido’s hit song “IF” went viral a few days ago.
Davido saw this, was touched by it, reached out to the boy and promised to take care of his family from now on.
A lot of people praised Davido for having a good heart and helping the less privileged.
But there is always that bad belle that shows up to say nonsense. That person that can’t just see a good thing being done and be happy. That was this person.
Now this could’ve gotten lost in the sea of positive comments under Davido’s post but it didn’t and honestly we are glad.
Because terrible people like this need to be put in their place. So when Davido replied with this
We were like
And like
Then like
This should teach trolls that they can’t just come online, say nonsense and get away with it every time.
Random person on Instagram, it is good for you. Next time don’t be rude.
If you enjoyed this, take this quiz to see if you are more Wizkid or Davido.
We always tell guys to “shoot your shot”. Set that P. Seize that bae. Slide into that DM. History has made men the initiators of love and relationships.
But that history is changing. Men aren’t the only ones taking a bold move. Women are coming out to stake their claim as well.
However, according to this guy, it appears we’re doing a shitty job at it.
Yesterday, a YouTube video landed on Twitter that started the hashtag #BuhariStayWithUs is ‘trending’
The intro clip has President Buhari saying “what’s wrong with going on vacation?”
Vanguard Newspaper and Bella Naija say the video trended since it was shared on Twitter. The lyrics to the video are either gripping or annoying, depending on what kind of person you are
One line in the song says (to Buhari): ‘you still dey owe us change. So won’t you stayyyyy with ussss?’
Which made us ask the very important question: “Wait. Where is the president going?”
Nigerians love famzing their celebrities. Especially the ones that help them shine.
So when Anthony Joshua won the world heavyweight championship last month, it didn’t matter that he was playing for Britain, the title was very much for Nigeria as well.
I mean, the Federal Government was all set to invite him to Nigeria and everything.
And they are not even hiding their disapproval at all.
This one has a simple message for Bella…Unlike. Fast.
For this guy, it’s not even a good combination at all and AJ needs something better than Bella.
Ouch.
This one has turned herself to AJ’s mother.
And this one is trying to send Bella back to the Weeknd.
This one wants to do prayer and fasting on AJ’s behalf.
But why y’all Nigerians gotta be so savage?
Meanwhile this one has taken the thing very personal:
All the gorgeous basketball players & NFL players in big big America and she wants to take OUR champion bae?! Nah I'm not having it. pic.twitter.com/Yzl6cRyLld
— Danielle Thee Genius (@HilaireDeclaire) May 22, 2017
But it’s no surprise how personal Nigerians took this though. Especially with the way everyone reacted with the Justine Skye and Wizkid thing.
In other celebrity gist, here’s the very weird answers to all our “Where is Buhari?” questions:
Our home girl / bleaching cream queen, Dencia, has come again to slay us with her anyhow fashion style. Before we get to that, let us remind you of a couple of the bizarre fashion choices she has made in the past.
Who remembers this strange gele and onesie combo that she wore to the 2015 BET Awards?
Or this pink pajamas abomination she wore to the Grammys a couple of years ago.
Or that time her outfit was made up mostly of Lion hair.
Home girl is also known to sometimes steal outfit ideas.
That wasn’t fair for us to say. You can’t exactly claim ownership of an outfit. We’re not apologizing tho.
What we’re here to discuss today is what she wore to the Billboard Music Awards that happened over the weekend. Check out this..ehhh…interesting outfit.
We are just as confused as you are about this.
What we would like to know is how she keeps getting into in these events.
I mean, she claims she’s a singer but have you ever heard ANY song from her?
That wasn’t even a joke. If you’ve heard one, let us know.
Anyways, this dress (?) confused many people and a lot of them had tons of stuff to say about it. Tons of MEAN and HILARIOUS stuff..
Let’s start with this person, who legit doesn’t even know who Dencia is
Then there was this person, who thought Dencia looked liked a Transformer.
LMAO!
Also this person who kinda made a valid point.
The dress reminded this person of maths homework.
Another person who got reminded of Transformers after seeing this dress
The dress gave this person Chemistry flashbacks.
Another person that the dress reminded of Maths.
This person we actually agree with.
The name of the villain is Rita Repulsa. Google her and you’ll see that this person was right. Lol
Then this person that refuses to believe that Dencia has/had a music career.
Ha! Skin Lightening chick.
Needless to say, she was among this year’s worst dressed.
Dencia,why do you always do this? We know you have the potential to slay but everytime you get the chance to, you mess up and end up dressing like one of the puppets from Sesame street. We just have one thing to tell you.
PLEASE! Stop embarrassing Africa!
If you enjoyed this sweet gist. read this next gist about this House of representatives member and why she’s the coolest mother-in-law ever.
Fam! We’re not sure you can handle this! It’s the Carter Push Party yo!
The Queen Bey aka Mummy Blue aka Iyawo Jay aka soon-to-be Iya I-Bey-Ji, had her push party (which is also known as a baby shower) during the weekend but it was no ordinary baby shower.
The entire thing looked like she was paying homage to Yeye Osun.
The captain explaining how the incident happened. Thumbs up to Arik. They had a spy to watch out because the thieves had been on a run. pic.twitter.com/ouQdl0hF2E
It all started when Hon. Ayo Omidiran (who has been a member of the house of representatives since 2011) wished her daughter-in-law a happy birthday on Twitter in the sweetest way ever.
And it warmed our hearts and made us cry.
The sweetness of the birthday message made everyone wish to have a mother-in-law like her and she instantly became #MotherInLawGoals
Then one sharp girl came from nowhere and asked an interesting question.
Clearly trying to bag a good husband and an awesome mother-in-law at the same.
And then the coolest mother-in-law on the planet replied!
This caused all of Twitter to freak.
Others came to try their luck too.
No time to waste.
And again, the awesome Ayo Omidiran gave a response that blew minds everywhere.
She’s setting P in the DMs for her son(s)!COULD SHE BE ANYMORE AWESOME?!
Some guys even came to see if she had daughters who were looking to get married.
The Lord helps those who help themselves.
And she gave another lowkey epic response.
Her daughters are happily loved up. Back off y’all.
We don’t know about you guys but Hon. Ayo Omidiran just became our new favourite person.
If you enjoyed this sweet gist, read this next one about Dino Melaye (our favourite controversial politician), the book he just released and why it is freaking hilarious.
So it’s called the RompHim, and it’s really just basically a male romper.
You know, those playsuits women wear that are incredibly difficult to get out of?
Yes. A Romper. Romp-Her. Romp-Him. See what they did there? SMH Silly people.
So the whole RompHim thing started when a couple of guys decided that there weren’t enough male clothes…
…that allowed guys to be more stylish and fun without also sacrificing comfort, fit and versatility”Team ACED
They decided to “fix” the problem. And VOILA!
Introducing the revolutionary summer outfit for men…the RompHim!
The Team set up a kickstarter campaign to help raise funds to start production and so far have received $127,267 pledges for a $10,000goal, with 1,131 backers!
Ikr!
So apparently A LOT of people dig the stuff and are really intent on seeing it become a major fashion statement.
Who knew?
Well, since the campaign went live two days ago, the Internet has been having a field day, and we’re so here for it!
Our favorite controversial politician, Dino Melaye is in the news again. If you don’t remember what he looks like, here’s a picture to refresh your memory.
Remember him now?
He just released a book called “Antidotes For Corruption”, a book about how Nigeria can properly fight corruption. This is hilariously ironic for one reason.
Because he’s a NIGERIAN POLITICIAN, that’s why. You know what we mean by this. Don’t pretend.
Wait! That’s not even the best part! The most entertaining first lady Nigeria has ever had, Patience Jonathan, was the guest of honor at this event.
It’s worth pointing out that Mama Peace is currently embroiled in a court case regarding almost $6 Million she might have gotten through shady means.
Also present at the event was Senate President, Bukola Saraki, who is currently on trial for false declaration of assets.
Which probably explains why his face was like this when this picture was taken.
Saraki even gave a speech. Talking about how the fight against corruption shouldn’t be sensationalized because it is ‘unnecessary and counter-productive.’
Basically that was him saying that he doesn’t want to be dragged on the front pages of newspapers and social media for being corrupt.
He even congratulated Dino Melaye for writing such a lengthy book despite Dino’s busy schedule.
We at Zikoko can bet all our reproductive organs that Dino Melaye didn’t write that book himself.
Also, there was NO representative from the EFFC.
They know this whole thing is a sham. LOL
All this put together, gave Nigerians the chance to do the thing they do best.
DRAGGING!
Nigerians went in hard! Let’s start with this tweet from The Sahara Reporters that came with epic shade.
This tweet from this guy who can’t wait for everything to end.
This tweet about an epic showdown.
This tweet from this guy who makes a valid point.
This tweet about the dream team.
This tweet from this person that REALLY wants you to see how much of a sham this whole thing is.
Even the grammar nazis came out to play.
This tweet about about how the book launch left corruption confused.
We have no idea who Dino and his people think they’re deceiving but it’s sha not us.
The SubDeliveryMan Twitter account is as synonymous with Nigerian Twitter as jollof rice is synonymous with owambe. So when the account was recently suspended, everyone was understandably shocked.
Okay, maybe not everyone sha.
Some people were doing like this:
As if they had just given them fresh jollof rice.
And for all those people that are happy, the not happy ones are now calling them bad belle.
And looking at them one kind.
But you cannot blame them. Now that the account has been suspended, their Twitter subs must be delivered with full chest; and it’s not easy.
Others don’t even understand what all the wahala is about sef.
What's with y'all & SubDeliveryMan? if twitter suspended his account after all the pleadings then we should forget about it and move on. pic.twitter.com/ZuI1isxIAF
Remember when our dear Senator Dino Melaye shocked Nigerians with his singing and choreography skills?
You probably thought he was the only legislator with a future in the entertainment industry when his time chopping Nigeria’s money is finally over. But you were wrong.
Yesterday, this Ebonyi state lawmaker served some hot dance steps that had us completely shell-shocked.
Like, COMPLETELY.
Maria Ude Nwachi, an Ebonyi State House of Assembly member, posted not one but TWO videos of herself dancing to KCee’s “Talk and Do” on Facebook.
In the video, she’s doing a kind of dance move that looks like what would happen if Michael Jackson ate too much akpu and forgot how to moonwalk.
Then at some point she came so close to the camera like she wanted to fight.
Infact, it’s just better you watch the whole thing yourself.
And just in case you were not completely sure or you had forgotten all about Dino Melaye’s singing and choreographic prowess, here’s a recap:
Whether you are in Nigeria or in Obodo, you will agree that “adulting” is not even easy at all.
There are so many responsibilities and expectations. Sometimes you just want to scream:
In Nigeria, PHCN will suffer you. Fuel prices will make you cry. The Federal Government will just be doing anyhow.
In the obodo, they will work you like a slave and tax you like an animal.
But at least there’s plenty light na abi?
…Only if you pay your electricity bill sha.
Short story, there’s sha sufferhead everywhere.
Although some people prefer their sufferhead in the abroad.
This Naija guy chose obodo sufferhead and now, it appears he’s tired of it all.
Below is a skit by comedienne Maraji, showing an argument between a Nigerian man and his British wife, and it perfectly describes everything we feel about adulting.
https://youtu.be/qq5YPY64QnE
If you could totally relate to this video, and you’re absolutely done with adulting, then this next post is for you:
It is no news that there is, has been and most likely will continue to be, a kind of sort of ongoing beef like this between Nigeria and Ghana.
But is it really any wonder? To Nigerians, Ghana is like that younger brother that is tired of staying under his big bro’s glory and wants to shine too.
So it is common to find Nigerians throw shade at Ghanaians regarding everything from their complexion to whose jollof rice is really better.
And it appeared like we were winning, for a while at least, until this happened…
While this one was trying to claim Nigerian born but British trained current world heavyweight champion, Anthony Joshua, he forgot that it is not good to play with stones if you’re wearing glasses.
You’ve seen photo-shopped images in the past, but we bet you’ve never seen Photoshop like this before. Can you tell which part is real and which isn’t?
Goodluck Jonathan and his corrupt officials have once again given us international exposure nobody asked them for
If you’re not sitting down, you should, because this one is BAD! It’s TERRIBLE!
Under our nose, Jonathan and former Minister of Petroleum during the Abacha regime, Dan Etete, sold our birthright to Shell
Recently uncovered evidence shows that Shell was involved in a bribery deal with Dan Etete, who is also the owner of this fake company, Malabu Oil(which he set up with our money in 1995, by the way). Somehow, in 2014, Etete got about $801 million of $1.1bn- money from the proceedings of the sale of one of OUR oil fields to oil giant Shell and Italian Oil company, Eni – to Malabu.
More baffling is the fact that the oil field -OPL 245- is worth $500bn in untapped oil!
At the time dem Jonah struck that Malabu deal, this is what $500bn in naira was:
OPL 245 as it’s called was one of our most valuable resources, worth 499 times more than what it was sold. Why do our leaders insist on selling our futures for temporary gain? Why?
Dan Etete, a convicted felon in France, was allowed access to such huge deals during the Jonathan’s administration. Where in the world does that happen? And what is Buhari’s government doing about it?
In 2011, Shell had to pay another $30 million for briberies alone. Foreign media say this is possibly ‘Big Oil’s Worst Scandal’ because Shell knew the transactions were illegal and denied them until last Sunday.
Will Jonathan and his cohorts be prosecuted?
A govt that has details of theft of public funds on the scale of this Malabu deal but hasnt secured a conviction of 1 person has failed abeg
One of the documents uncovered showed how some of the money was split
Nigerian businessman Aliyu Abubakar withdrew $54,418,000 in cash.
$466,065,965.44 withdrawn in cash and subsequently funneled to government officials including President Goodluck Jonathan, Attorney General Mohammed Bello Adoke, Minister of Petroleum Diezani Alison-Madueke, Minister of Defence and former National Security Advisor Aliyu Gusau.
$10,026,280 to former Attorney General Christopher Adebayo Ojo
$11,465,000 paid to former Senator Ikechukwu ObiorahForeignpolicy.com
We should all be mad. We were robbed, again and again.
Children like the one in this picture will haunt the conscience of the Malabu crowd & similar Grand Pillages. #EVILpic.twitter.com/16JYXssnyn
The United Nations says the funds it needs to resolve the famine crisis currently brewing in Northern Nigeria is about 1.5 times the amount collected from the sale of OPL 245. About 5 million people face starvation. Nigeria currently has no oil refineries, and electricity generation is at an all-time low.
The case is still being investigated and it’s unclear which way it will spin for now. But hopefully, everyone involved gets the justice they deserve.
Around 5am on Sunday, 10th April , while you were chilling in the (dis)comfort of your home, the people of Otodo Gbame were getting evicted and shot at by policemen on orders from the Lagos State Government.
Why? These people who took the fishing communities as their home are said to have been illegally occupying the area which is ultimately a big part of Lagos state’s mega city.
However, reports have also shown that the government defied a high court ruling which ordered a negotiation and probably a relocation of the people of the community to a safer environment.
Unfortunately, these people were forcefully kicked out and many babies like this probably slept in the cold, without shelter. On top of that, 1 person was killed, while Otodo Gbame was burnt to the ground because of ‘development’.
This begs the questions, Is Lagos eradicating the poor as opposed to eradicating poverty?
When your government is building malls and ‘mega-cities” but refuses to provide good drainage and water.
When your government is building malls and ‘mega-cities” but refuses to provide good drainage and water.
When your government kicks out the rural communities after begging them for votes during the elections.
Although the government has accused the public of emotional blackmail, we hope the people in charge do the right thing to cater for its citizens who cannot obviously afford to live on the mega cities.
If you’d like to help, you can submit donations here:
If you can, pls support #OtodoGbame with food/medicine/clothes/mosquito nets. Drop these at 310 Herbert Macaulay Way, 3rd Floor, Sabo-Yaba pic.twitter.com/Kp3L06pUQc
For all the people who missed the Big Brother finale last night, there was only one winner!
Efe won the prize money of N25 million as well as a brand new Kia Sorento.
Okay he wasn’t the only one who one. Bisola was the 1st runner up and also won a trip to New York to attend a United Nations event, courtesy of ONE Campaign
And Tboss, who came 3rd, won a N500,000 gift card from Pay Porte for winning most of the Arena Games
To understand the import of the @dino_melaye Anthem,for those who do not understand the Yoruba language,we have helped with some subtitle. pic.twitter.com/J9nTAodcGc
Nigeria is currently experiencing a terrible Cerebro Spinal Meningitis (CMS) outbreak, with about 328 people killed already. We told you about the signs and symptoms here.
But Abdulaziz Yari, the Zamfara State Governor, thinks the outbreak is upon us because we’re all sinners
Zamfara State is the worst hit and has the highest number of casualties. When he was questioned about this, he blamed God instead. Read the full story here.
Apparently, this Governor has talked to God in a WhatsApp message and God has revealed the reason we’re suffering from CMS to him
You, when you realize most Nigerian politicians have low thinking capacity
Zamfara people, when they see their governor
Other saner governors be like:
Meanwhile, the Ministry of Health has said there’s no such thing and CMS is not spiritual
Meningitis is a medical emergency not spiritual. Report any sign to the nearest health facility. FMoH Advisory 👇https://t.co/l27FKoP8kT
— Federal Ministry of Health, NIGERIA (@Fmohnigeria) April 4, 2017
Chimamanda Adichie, Uzodinma Iweala and a bunch of other amazing writers are proof that Nigerian books deserve a spot on the big screen.
23-year-old Tomi Adeyemi’s debut fantasy novel, ‘Children of Blood and Bone’ recently got signed by Fox 2000 – which means another Nigerian adapted film will hit the cinemas real soon!
The Black Lives Matter- inspired book (which is not even published yet), tells the story of a little girl, Zelie Adebola and her stand against oppression.
While details of the film are still unknown, we can only wait impatiently to see how great this film turns out.
Also, you can keep up with Tomi Adeyemi’s work w=on her website, TomiAdeyemi.com.
In November 2016, a Cerebro Spinal Meningitis (CSM) disease outbreak started in Zamfara State. Almost 5 months later, the disease has killed hundreds and has now spread to other states. These are all the facts we know about the outbreak.
1. About 328 people have been killed by meningitis in Nigeria
CMS occurs when the thin tissue covering the brain -meninges- is inflamed.
2. More than 5 states are currently affected including Lagos and Abuja
According to Premium Times it spilled over from Sokoto( in map) to Zamfara, Kano, Katsina, Kebbi, Niger, Nasarawa, Jigawa, FCT, Gombe, Taraba, Yobe, Osun, Cross Rivers, Lagos and Plateau states.
3. 4 West African countries are currently affected, but Nigeria suffers the most cases
African Meningitis Belt includes the countries usually affected by an outbreak. Currently, Mali, Niger and Burkina Faso are also reportedly affected by the disease.
4. CMS is caused by the Neisseria meningitides bacteria
Symptoms include a stiff neck, high fever, rash, headache, vomiting, and confusion.
5. It’s a COMMUNICABLE disease
Respiratory secretions transfer the disease through kissing, sneezing, coughing, and sharing of eating or drinking utensils.
6. CMS is curable
The disease is treatable with antibiotics, although 5-10% of affected persons die within 24 hours. Once you notice the symptoms, present yourself at a medical centre immediately.
7. How can you prevent yourself?
The most effective way is vaccination. Staying away from infected people, avoiding other people’s utensils or any item that may transfer saliva or respiratory secretions, washing your hands regularly as well as eating healthy to boost your immune system are ways to prevent CMS.
Traditionally, we Nigerians have always seen mental health as something that shouldn’t be discussed openly, and for men, it’s an issue ‘society’ forbids them to even acknowledge because it’s not ‘manly’.
So a lot of people-men and women- continue to live with depression and severe stress because they can’ talk about their feelings
Recently, Allwell Orji, a medical doctor, committed suicide by jumping into the Lagos lagoon from the 3rd Mainland Bridge. There are speculations he may have been depressed.
But when this Twitter user posted about her brother being depressed, people reacted quite differently
The siblings are orphans and her brother was having a terrible birthday because he couldn’t celebrate
You see, Twitter is one of the best things about the internet, simply because you don’t need to search for amebo, it comes right to your doorstep.
As usual, we were minding our business and impatiently counting down to the weekend, when Ayodeji, an entitled guy from Ibadan came to rant about his date on Twitter.
According to his tweet, he was furious his date had the nerve to turn down a relationship with him after taking her out – calling her broke.
And in the mother of all clap backs that snatched wigs and edges off, the date in question, Ore, also known as Miss Moshiku, shared screenshots of her refunding the money he spent, and even asked him to keep the change.
When you realise he came to cry on Twitter after spending only 1900.
When you realise some men actually feel entitled to relationships/sex for indicating interest in women.
When men expect something in return for doing the barest minimum for women.
If we’re being honest, Miss Moshiku is THAT GIRL!
When you realise she paid for the entire date and dashed him extra money too.
Although Ibadan Twitter is being effortlessly trolled for this gist…
We've been seeing our movies for N600 peacefully in Ibadan, nobody knew. But this boda ode had to rub shit on us.
Free recharge cards, weirdly-designed Twitter pictures, forced hashtags everywhere. Every. Single. Holiday.
Bless you, brother Matthias
President Buhari left for London on May 7 (for medical check up)
It doesn’t help at all that there are a lot of nasty rumors flying about.
Put the haters to shame, Daddy BuBu!
One of them said “if you want the president dead, you will be disappointed.” Ahan, has it reached like that?
Why so aggressive? We just want to know how our president is doing, you know?
“I don’t know.”
Is that too much to ask?
