Gist | Page 16 of 22

Is Yoruba Nollywood Being Snubbed?

The AMCVA (Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards) 2016 took place a few weeks ago. Nigerian magazine, This Day Style, in their latest issue, published the best-dressed actors and actresses on their front cover.
Then the controversy began. Some people felt that This Day Style was biased for not including Yoruba actors and actresses (a.k.a Yorrywood) on their front cover. By consensus, most people agree that one actress in particular more than qualified to be on it.
She’s Mercy Aigbe-Gentry, the Yoruba movie actress.

Some Nigerians saw it as a snub, because she only acts in Yoruba movies.

https://twitter.com/_larike/status/711585534519463936?s=09

Or because she’s not posh enough for them.

https://twitter.com/yew1e/status/711586656843927552?s=09

Mercy is in agreement with her fans and called This Day Style out for it.

She said, “Hey Fam…. so I just came back from church and decided to check IG only for me to see plenty tags on a particular pix posted by @thisdaystyle …..I read pple’s comments asking why Mercy isn’t on the cover and at first I wanted to waka pass, but on a second thought I decided to talk about it, cos it’s been an issue dat has lingered for too long!…….I thought to myself why didn’t Mercy make the cover of @thisdaystyle best dressed list?…. Has @thisdaystyle ever featured a yoruba actor on their cover?………are yoruba movies not part of nollywood? …..is Nollywood not supposed to mean home grown Nigerian movies? …..hmmmmm I am very sure they didn’t coz, they won’t want to STAIN their cover with a ‘RAZZ’ ‘LOCAL’ yoruba actor!….Yes I am razz, Yes I am local and Yes I am a Yoruba actor!…..No I refuse to speak ur almighty English with fake British or American accent!….Because I’ll always remain true to myself!…I am ME ….Proud Benin Woman, Proud Ijesha’s wife and above all proud Nigerian. …And just in case e still dey be una like dream ‘LOCAL TI TAKE OVER’ ….“
She wore this beautiful floor-length silver beaded dress by House of Luminee to the awards show.

And you will agree that she killed it! The mother of two was looking hot.
Really, she should have made the cover and now we come to think of it, we are yet to see Yorrywood people on This Day Style’s cover oh.

Yorrywood is still part of Nollywood. They are important too.
It seems like Yorrywood has decided that enough is enough.
[zkk_poll post=24784 poll=content_block_standard_format_9]

chioma

March 21, 2016

Gist

Mercy Aigbe, Yollywood, yoruba actress
Sensational Nigerian Female Footballer Asisat Oshoala Gets Signed By Arsenal Ladies

Ardent lovers of football will recognise names like Cynthia Uwak, Courtney Dike and Asisat Oshoala in the female football industry.

These footballers are part of the women who keep the game as interesting as the contemporary football matches played by their male colleagues.
Dropping out of school to pursue a career in professional football, Asisat got her big break when she got offered a chance to represent Nigeria at the FIFA U-20 Women’s World Cup in 2014.

She brought all her skills to the field and earned herself the Golden Boot and Golden Ball awards for her brilliant performance throughout the tournament.
This trailblazer joined the Nigerian Senior female team, the Super Falcons, to represent Nigeria at the African Women’s Championship.

The team won the tournament and she was presented with the golden ball award for being the best player in the competition.
In 2015, she joined international football club managed by Matt Beard, Liverpool Ladies.

That same year, she won the BBC Women’s Footballer of The Year award and is the first African woman to play in the FA league.
Arsenal Ladies made Liverpool Ladies a transfer bid for Asisat early in 2016.

On March 18 2016, she completed the signing process for Arsenal Ladies and is set to join the team immediately.
This goes to show how underrated female footballers are. Slay on, Asisat!

Maryam

March 18, 2016

Gist

asisat, female football, Football, Football Club, football team, footballers
Olajumoke Is Back To Selling Bread, Well Kinda

Olajumoke is doing quite well for herself. Since stumbling her way into TY Bello’s photoshoot for Tinie Tempah.
From doing her first photoshoot.

To her first catwalk.

To being the face of an online store.

Just to mention a few.
Now, she’s gone back to her roots!

She’s back to where she started from — selling bread!
Jumoke has been signed as the new face of Shirley’s Bakery and as usual, she’s slaying for the gods!

Shirley’s Confectionery is boutique bakery and confectionery shop that offers pastries, baked goods, shawarma, etc.
She’s looking super dope!

Is she dripping swag goo or nah?

Yasss! Slay mama!

Keep doing your thing Olajumoke! But can Bimpe Onakoya come back and do her make up sha?!

chioma

March 18, 2016

Gist

Olajumoke, olajumoke orisaganu
Should A Woman Kneel Before Her Husband?

This woman recently bagged her Ph.D in Environmental Toxicology from University of Calabar.

She is Mrs Uduak Onofiok Luke, wife of the speaker of Akwa Ibom State House of Assembly, Onofiok Luke.
Upon receiving her certificate, she went and knelt in appreciation to her husband.

She knelt to show gratitude to him for encouraging and supporting her.
But Nigerians stand on different sides as to her method of showing appreciation.

https://twitter.com/Backarray/status/710504199990206464

Some feel a hug and kiss would’ve sufficed.

https://twitter.com/NWealthyland/status/710773516740722688

Is it enough to call out misogyny?

Misogyny https://t.co/061iV2TNII
— Rob Dilika (@uNtuthwane) March 18, 2016

Or is her kneeling so exemplary to be emulated in the nearest future?

Congratulations. I hope to be in her position in about 4 years time. 📚📊📈🎓 https://t.co/leNs0jl8kt
— Kolisa Yola Sinyanya (PhD) 🌍📚🇿🇦 (@Kolie_Yola) March 18, 2016

When did enabling one’s wife get an education become so much of a sacrifice?

https://twitter.com/Pink_buggattii/status/710777773585870848

But people can show respect without necessarily having to kneel sha.

https://twitter.com/Iam_Mxolisi/status/710780379783950336

Maybe kneeling has become some sort of female role in the 21st century.

https://twitter.com/OwaFlopo/status/710780125177057280

Would he do the same for her if he were in her shoes?

@Backarray @dian_kwase if the man would have done the same if he was given the opportunity…no I support her!
— TeBoGo Ntlwana (@Diced81) March 18, 2016
It could be nothing but a simple show of gratitude between two partners who support each other.

In the picture he's lifting her up. Methinks they support each other and this was a simple show of gratitude https://t.co/bbIz0l1ODY
— Clarence (@Ndle_Nkosi) March 18, 2016

To each his own.

https://twitter.com/Uche_xx/status/710739701846679553

And in the end, everybody should face front.

The people saying it is wrong, is it their marriage? https://t.co/9M6fpOxmys
— Francis Ogbuka (@TheEmekaa) March 18, 2016

Because…

https://twitter.com/dlmza/status/710776988265537536
[zkk_poll post=24630 poll=content_block_standard_format_14]

Maryam

March 18, 2016

Gist

Feminism, feminist, misogyny, Nigerian woman, Nigerian women, Woman, Women
This Nigerian Woman Might Be The First Elected Member To Join The London Assembly

Another Nigerian might join the London Assembly!

The London Assembly which is part of the Greater London Authority, scrutinizes the activities of the Mayor of London. The body has the power to hold the Mayor and Mayoral advisers accountable by publicly examining policies and programmes.
Her name is Florence Eshalomi, a resident of South London.

Florence has lived in South London all her life. She is the eldest child from a single-parent family. She’s also the first to attend higher education.
She began handling big responsiblities at a really young age.

She started working at the age of sixteen and takes care of her mother who suffers from sickle cell anaemia. She had to juggle the demands of family responsibilities, education and employment at the same time.
Since joining politics, Florence has held various key positions at different times.

She was elected to Lambeth Council in 2006, 2010 and 2014, representing Brixton Hill ward. She has worked in the public, private and charitable sectors in a number of different campaigning, research and public affairs roles. She has taken a leading role in local and national campaigns to encourage more young people and people from under-represented background to become more active in public life, politics and the arts. She is currently the Public Affairs Manager at the Runnymede Trust, UK’s leading independent race equality institution.
Now, she’s about to join the London Assembly.

If elected, our wonderful @FloEshalomi -who has been an excellent Brixton Hill Cllr- will be the first ever Nigerian on the @LondonAssembly!
— ChukaUmunna (@ChukaUmunna) March 18, 2016

All the best Florence!

We really hope she gets this position! Update: We previously wrote that Florence Eshalomi might be the first Nigerian to join the London Assembly. She isn’t the first to do so. Kemi Badenoch was the foremost to join the Assembly. Florence might be the first to be elected.

chioma

March 18, 2016

Gist

Florence Eshalomi, Florence Nosegbe
Nigerian Politicians And Foreign Politicians Have A Lot More In Common Than We Thought And Here’s Why

Let’s go a little back in time to the elections period in Nigeria.

To when realistic and unrealistic promises were made, and “generous”politicians suddenly remembered the hungry, starving, Nigerian masses.
And since honesty isn’t necessarily a Nigerian trait..

Many politicians shared branded food items (and other gifts) which were eagerly received by some greedy voters.
Packaged rice.

For those that place Jollof above necessary infrastructure that should be provided by Nigerian leaders.
Odourless Fufu

In case the smell of mainstream Fufu gets in the way.
And recharge card to call the love of your life.

Aren’t our politicians just thoughtful?
Let’s flip the script and go to Europe where this politician is going to spend two years in prison.

Florin Popescu, a Romanian politician is being jailed for a crime he committed in 2012 while he was lobbying for votes for his re-election into office as a council leader.
He used his political position to secure an order of 60 tonnes of fried chicken worth $85,000 and shared it to voters in a bid to make them vote for him.

He loaded the chicken packages into trailers and distributed them at several locations. Although he resigned earlier in February 2016 and claimed it was for the “good of the country”, Florin currently nicknamed the Chicken Baron will be cooling off in prison for two years as part of Romania’s crackdown on Kwaraption!
Will this kind of crackdown ever happen in Nigeria?

We wait. [zkk_poll post=24520 poll=content_block_standard_format_8]

Maryam

March 18, 2016

Gist

apc, corruption, nigerian politicians, Nigerian politics, pdp, Politicians, Politics, politics rice, prison, Rice
When Natural Hair Is Not Allowed In The Work Place

Hair is political. Even Chimamanda agrees.

African hair has undergone a tremendous evolution, from naturally curly or kinky hair to the chemically straightened hair to weaves and weave-ons.

Black people have over centuries, found ways to change the way their natural hair is, just to fit in with society.
Kinky hair was seen as inferior to long wavy hair. Men and women have long began to embrace their God-given textures.

Choosing to buck the norm, they’re all going back to base.
But some workplaces in these modern times still find natural hair unacceptable, as this young Ghanaian-Canadian lady came to find out.

Akua Agyemfra is a 20-year-old Humanities student at York University in Canada.

She got a job as a server at a restaurant in Toronto.

Like most college students, she got a job at to be able to pay the bills.
On her third day of training, she was sent home for wearing her hair in a bun.

According to her, the assistant general manager of the restaurant told her she was not allowed to wear her hair in a bun, saying it was company policy. The manager said her her hair had to be worn straight down.

The manager said she expected servers to look like they’re going to the club, not coming from one.

Yes. she said that. Please, how does wearing a bun look like one is “coming from a club”? That doesn’t make any sense. Akua showed the manager that her natural hair doesn’t fall straight. But she was still sent home.
Being a non-confrontational person, she left without standing her ground.

She realized when she went home that it was a violation of her rights. Sending her home based on her hair is wrong. Akua said, “Management at Jack Astor’s did NOT specify that I had to wear my hair down every single shift. If they did, I would have NOT taken the job because I know my hair cannot be straight everyday. I had extensions during my interview and my two training shifts. After I took out my braids, my Afro didn’t not comply to the “straight hair” rule. To maintain it and look presentable, I had to put it in a bun.“
She has since quit her job at the restaurant. But she didn’t take the situation lying down.

<!– // (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = “//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.3”; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);}(document, ‘script’, ‘facebook-jssdk’)); // ]]>

Server told to alter hairAre you black and working in the service industry? Have you been asked to wear your hair differently on the job like Akua Agyemfra? Contact us: tonews@cbc.ca
Posted by CBC Toronto on Thursday, March 10, 2016 Akua sees their dress code as discriminatory. She has shared her story and been interviewed by media outlets and this has led to more awareness about Black people having to alter their hair just to fit in in the work place. She says “I’m not going to compromise my roots and edges because my employer wants me to. My scalp has a right to breathe just as much as the woman standing beside me.”
You go girl!

But the thing is that this situation happens here in Nigeria where we ought to know better. Some workplaces forbid their employees from having afros or locs.

Banks and most other big corporate organizations are notorious for this.
This needs to change.

Having afro or locs doesn’t prevent people from doing their job. Featured image via Akua Agyemfra. [zkk_poll post=24460 poll=content_block_standard_format_14]

chioma

March 18, 2016

Gist

hair, Politics
Donald Trump Has Done It! A Nigerian Was Thrown Out Of His Campaign Rally!

Everybody — well most people — knows that Donald Trump is bad news. And though he wasn’t taken seriously when he decided to run for president, the whole world is watching his campaign trails and rallies and debates with morbid fascination.
He is anti-Muslim, anti-Black, anti-Latinos. In fact, he is anti-everything!

The man is so dangerous that the possibility of his winning the U.S. presidential election is as big a threat to the global economy as Islamist terrorism, according to Global Forecasting Service.
He’s against what America stands for, a country built with the sweat of immigrants.

Even Trump’s ancestors are immigrants. His grandfather was born in Germany and came to New York as an immigrant. But it seems he’s forgotten that. Even his wives were not born in America.
Trump’s rallies are known for his hate-filled speeches where he incentivizes his followers to be violent.

<!– // (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = “//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.3”; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);}(document, ‘script’, ‘facebook-jssdk’)); // ]]>

Trump vs. Obama: Dealing With Protesters
Posted by BuzzFeed News on Monday, March 14, 2016 And he offers to pay for their legal fees. So it wasn’t surprising when this happened at his rally recently. But it hit close to home, because it happened to one of us. A Nigerian.
Adedayo Adeniyi, a 20-year-old student at East Carolina University, attended Donald Trump’s rally in Fayetteville, North Carolina. out of curiosity.

But he was randomly targeted and thrown out of the event by police, because he’s Black!
The shocker happened as he was being escorted out of the event.
A middle aged white man, looked him directly in the face and said, “F you” three times, right before slapping Adedayo hard in the face! This happened while he was being bundled out like a bag of beans.

The gall. The effrontery.

These are scary times, if this is happening in his rally, imagine what will happen if this man actually becomes president! That is enough to give anybody nightmares.
We really hope that this man doesn’t become president, because if he does, this quote perfectly captures what will happen.

We’re also sure that the population of people living in the African continent will definitely increase.

[zkk_poll post=24352 poll=content_block_standard_format_12]

chioma

March 17, 2016

Gist

America, campaign rally, Donald Trump
It’s Hard To Recognise This Child Who Was Rescued After He Was Accused of Being A Witch

Remember the rescue story of 2 year old Hope who was accused of witchcraft and left for dead?
After Anja Ringgren Loven found him, Hope was hospitalised and treated for worms.

He was hospitalized immediately and was recuperating gradually under the watchful eye of her charitable organization and orphanage, African Children’s Aid Education And Development Foundation.
This rescue story reached many parts of the world and touched several hearts including a Norwegian Policeman.

Reading Hope’s story moved Djorn Druglimo and he started collecting football jerseys from his colleagues and willing donors for donation to the orphanage.
Two weeks ago, Hope was finally discharged from the hospital.

And was photographed playing with other children in the orphanage.
It is hard to believe he was the sickly child Anja rescued this year.

He looks really cute here.
In Anja’s recent Facebook post, she shared pictures of him playing and the reason she named him Hope.

“The day I carried this sweet little boy in my arms for the very first time I was so sure he would not survive. Every breath he took was a struggle and I did not want him to die without a name, without dignity, so I named him Hope ❤ Hope to me is a special name. Not only the meaning of Hope, but what it stands for. Many years ago I got the name HOPE tattooed on my fingers because to me it means: Help One Person Everyday ✌? HOPE”
It’s amazing to see him transform into a cute, healthy baby after going through such a horrible experience.

Maryam

March 17, 2016

Gist

anja, charity, children rescue, hope, Nigerians, orphans, witchcraft
Looking At These 11 Pictures Will Play Tricks On Your Mind

Whoever said pictures never lie definitely does not live in this century.

Instagram’s official account on the app has a tradition of engaging their followers by throwing creative photo challenges with various hashtags.
These 11 photos were taken with the aim of creating an optical illusion by simply placing objects or people in different positions and taking the photos from various perspectives.

1. This cactus plant with human arms.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDCZQA4hQab/?tagged=whpeyetricks

2. The grooming of this giant dog.

3. Hanging off a cliff with a friend.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDCRANuhQdO/?taken-by=instagram

4. How to put bae in your hands and give them a kiss.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC8-v3KhQSw/?taken-by=instagram

5. When a cute ballerina wears a flower tutu skirt.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC9KqT4BQUt/?taken-by=instagram

6. This levitating basketball.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDC6dmloe1V/?tagged=whpeyetricks

7. This giant human crushing finger.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC9i_5JhQXj/?taken-by=instagram

8. Beware of the giant T-rex dinosaur.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC1E9R9hQZO/?taken-by=instagram

9. Hanging on the edge for your dear life.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDCWyfCFj-Z/?tagged=whpeyetricks

10. Happy tiny humans on a can of potato chips.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDCJobQDo5c/?tagged=whpeyetricks

11. How many girls can you see in this picture?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCrKXu7hQSx/?taken-by=instagram

We can’t wait for our talented African photographers to join in this challenge and blow our minds.

Maryam

March 17, 2016

Gist, Oldies

illusion, Instagram, Instagram photography, optical illusion, photography, Pictures
American Musician, Jhené Aiko, Snagged Herself A Yoruba Boy!

Out of nowhere and without prior warning, we heard that American singer-songwriter, Jhené Aiko is married!

We’re very sure that some guys will heartbroken by this.
But the kicker is that she’s married to a Yoruba boy no less!

His name is Oladipo Omishore a.k.a Dot da Genius. He’s a music producer and DJ and has worked with Kid Cudi, Rockie Fresh and King Chip.
Nobody knew they were married until he shared their wedding day picture on Instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDAje7OukDx/
And the made this comment to go with it: “Happy Birthday to my gorgeous wife. Happy to be on this quest w/ you!!!“
We all knew they’d been dating for a while.

We know that they’ve been dating since 2014. It could possibly be longer. But nobody knew exactly when they tied the knot.
Dot da Genius had shared this tweet in 2014, but it’d flown under the radar.

https://twitter.com/DotDaGenius/status/540937362260230145

But the important question is, how was Jhené able to achieve such feat?

Everybody know that it’s not easy to date a Yoruba boy and she managed to marry one.
Is she an Igbo girl?

Though born in the United States, she’s of African American, Japanese, Spanish, Dominican, German Jewish, French, and Native American descent. So it is possible she has an Igbo ancestor. If not, she must have the skills of an Igbo girl! And her middle name is Efuru too.

Respect to them for keeping their private life private. We wish them a happy married life!
[zkk_poll post=24271 poll=content_block_standard_format_8]

chioma

March 17, 2016

Gist

Dot Da Genius, Jhene Aiko
Sahara Reporters Came For Senator Akpabio But He Was Ready For Them

Sahara Reporters, one of the most controversial Nigerian online news publications is sassy and quick at dropping receipts.

FLASH: Former 1st Lady, Patience Jonathan has three properties in Dubai and several businesses.
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) January 21, 2016

They come for political figures mercilessly with their brutal headlines and articles.

The Brotherhood Of Thieves Ready For Another Circus Show By Bayo Oluwasanmi | Sahara Reporters https://t.co/ALOgLSYnum
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) November 2, 2015

While some Nigerians have called for their heads..

https://twitter.com/BennyCapricorn/status/706449939589685249

They recently threw a jab at former Governor of Akwa Ibom state and current Senate minority leader, Godswill Akpabio.

FLASH: Former Akwa Ibom Gov. Godswill @SenAkpabio has been linked to the ownership of Lagos Lekki Gardens where 31 died in a collapsed bld
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) March 14, 2016

The tweet claimed the senator was linked to the ownership of the collapsed Lagos Lekki Gardens which resulted in the loss of 31 Nigerian lives.
Because it’s clapback season, the senator sharply came back for them…

https://twitter.com/SenAkpabio/status/709702023629959168

Followed by massive,

https://twitter.com/SenAkpabio/status/709823919881121798

Relentless,

https://twitter.com/SenAkpabio/status/709827083288109060

Throwing of shade…

https://twitter.com/SenAkpabio/status/709831170129829888

With a dash of curses.

@SaharaReporters As long as God is on the throne, you will be disgraced in this nation. God will expose you in the end.
— Sen Godswill Akpabio (@SenAkpabio) March 15, 2016
But why is the senator bringing God into this matter?

@SenAkpabio @SaharaReporters please stop disturbing God.
— Omo Jesu (@tosinadeda) March 15, 2016
If it were God of the old testaments…

Godswill Akpabio now invokes God? D merciful new testament God frustrates me. D fiery old testament God makes worms eat moneychangers alive.
— Pius Adesanmi (@pius_adesanmi) March 15, 2016

Because….

If I didn’t serve in Uyo, I would have believed Akpabio is an angel. All that allocation for a small state, dude is a fraud.
— Funmi ♂ (@Seyi__) March 10, 2016
If his hands are really clean, he should kuku sue them for defamation of character.

Hov Akpabio is also replying. I tink he dhud sue for defamation if he is sure of himsef https://t.co/rtLg4Fzjka
— . (@el_fabulous) March 16, 2016

[zkk_poll post=24055 poll=content_block_standard_format_13]

Maryam

March 16, 2016

Gist

akpabio, Clapback season, clpaback, Politics, Sahara Reporters, trailer
Three Women Have Developed An Awesome App For African Naturalistas

The African hair industry rakes in about 1.1 billion dollars annually in sales of only hair lotions and shampoos but most women still find it difficult to locate the best products for their hair.
If you have been having struggles with locating high- grade natural hair stylists and products on the go, this recently launched app for Naturalistas is here for you.

Yas!
Developed by the trio of Esther Olatunji, Priscilla Hazel and Cassandra Sarfo from Nigeria and Ghana, Tress was launched at the 2016 Social Media Week held in Lagos.

The three software entrepreneurs met while studying at the prestigious Meltwater Entrepreneurial School of Technology, Ghana which has successfully incubated other startups such as meQasa and Kudobuzz which have collectively raised over $600,000 since 2015.
Tress is designed in such a way that the users conveniently find useful information on how to style their hair, products required for various hair textures, where to locate hair stylists within and around Ghana and Nigeria while building an online community of African hair-loving women.

Users who are familiar with Instagram will relate to Tress because the images appear with likes while information of results were designed with a slight touch of Pinterest’s detailing.
Efforts to make booking of hair appointments in salons via Tress are currently in the works.

The app is available for download on Google Play Store and is set to lauch on iOS platform soon. You can keep up with Tress on Twitter for quick DIY tips and giveaways here.

Maryam

March 16, 2016

Gist

African hair, haair, hair app, natural hair, Naturalista
What Happens When You Get Misplaced Anger From Nigerians?

If we know one thing, it’s that Nigerians are vocal. Very vocal. We can’t be oppressed or suppressed.

Who wan try?
And with social media, ain’t nobody holding us down.

We speak our mind.
But what happens when Nigerians fed up with our numerous problems attack the wrong person or party?

What is going on here?
That is the story of Nasser Al-Saadi from Qatar and senior executive at Aljazeera, who got caught in the crossfire between the people of Nigeria and the National Assembly.

Nasser’s relationship with Nigeria began in June of 2015. His Twitter handle came under attack from angry Nigerians when the National Assembly began giving more trouble than they already do. The members got a wardrobe allowance that totalled N8.64 billion!

As Nasser’s Twitter handle is @Nass, which is the same as the acronym ‘NASS’ for National Assembly, he got a lot of misplaced fury.

His handle literally became infamous on this side of the world.

That moment when your #Twitter handle becomes "something important" in a different country. #NASS #Nigeria
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) June 26, 2015

His mentions were on fire. He just couldn’t take it.

Dear people of #Nigeria who are ranting about #NASS can we take a break please.
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) June 26, 2015

@Darvincii you guys need to STOP mentioning me. You are mentioning the wrong person. Thanks.
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) June 26, 2015

But he soon began to see the humour in the situation and decide to embrace it.

Seriously?? 😂😂😂😂 #NASS #Nigeria https://t.co/oWR2L97HFF
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) June 26, 2015

He gave us listening ear.

Good morning #Nigeria! Today is a new day and we have so many things to rant about. #NASS
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) June 27, 2015

And even began to champion for our rights!

Maybe i should have a speech broadcasted on http://t.co/J39eAGpzbS addressing the people of #Nigeria before they go to sleep. #NASS
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) June 27, 2015

And was sad when most Nigerians finally understood what was happening.

Finally #Nigeria went quiet and no more confusion of @Nass vs #NASS. Ramadan Kareem peeps.
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) June 27, 2015

But he refused to change his handle.

I find it funny that people from #Nigeria are asking me to change my handle. Dude educate yourself and know how to use @twitter first. #NASS
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) July 23, 2015

He gave us updates about Nigeria.

https://twitter.com/Nass/status/625971142407229440

https://twitter.com/Nass/status/628909139654127616

Now Nasser and Nigerians are best of friends.

My peeps from #Nigeria suddenly started interacting with me. Where have you been people i've missed you. 😂
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) October 7, 2015

And he checks in with us from time to time.

Dear people of #Nigeria, I hope all is going well between you and your #NASS.
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) December 2, 2015

And had chats about football.

https://twitter.com/Nass/status/672127599066394624

The when all was too quiet recently, he wondered why.

Dear people of #Nigeria, Long time no mention. I stopped getting your attention, so I assume all is going well with your #NASS.
— Nasser Al-Saadi (@Nass) March 7, 2016

And Nigerians had answers for him.

@Nass You assume wrong, we are quiet because nothing has gone more wrong than usual.
— So Weird (@BodieLowber) March 7, 2016
His mentions are about to catch fire.

Hey @Nass your mentions about to be lit again 😂 https://t.co/y2AX0G36rE
— Ugonna (@UgonnaLaCadena) March 15, 2016

Some even want him to be an Ambassador to Nigeria.

Dear @MofaQatar_EN, may I recommend @Nass to be the next Qatari Ambassador to Nigeria? He is very versed on Nigerian issues. Thanks.
— Amara Nwankpa (@Nwankpa_A) March 15, 2016

Some have disowned the National Assembly for Nasser.

. @MofaQatar_EN We tweet all our frustration @Nass. He is very understanding and listens. Infact, he is our @nass, we know no other. 😆
— Amara Nwankpa (@Nwankpa_A) March 15, 2016

It’s just so funny and interesting how everything turned out!
[zkk_poll post=23979 poll=content_block_standard_format_23]

chioma

March 16, 2016

Gist

Nasser Al-Saadi, National Assembly, nigerian twitter
The Nigerian Senate Has Done It Again! They Said No To The Gender And Equal Opportunity Bill!

If you’ve ever wondered if children are more capable of leadership and making decisions than the Nigerian Senate, you wouldn’t be wrong. They keep making decisions and bringing up Bills that boggles the mind. And don’t forget the way they prefer to fight over issues like cats and dogs, than settle things in a matured manner.
Now we hear that the Gender and Equality Bill has been turned down.

Senate President now puts the Bill to Vote and the Nays have. The Gender and Equal Opportunity Bill does not pass second reading.
— The Nigerian Senate (@NGRSenate) March 15, 2016

The Bill which pushed for the elimination of discrimination against women has been disapproved after a second reading at the Senate.
These are the same people that are pushing to infringe on our freedom of speech with their Social Media Bill! So this comes as no surprise.

They are the same ones that made this ludicrous statements on International Women’s Day!

Senate Leader Ali Ndume supports the Motion, urging men to not just be friends with women but marry them and as well take care of women.
— The Nigerian Senate (@NGRSenate) March 8, 2016

Leader Ndume adds a prayer that men should be encouraged to marry more than one wife. Senator Nazif Suleiman seconds but the Nays have it.
— The Nigerian Senate (@NGRSenate) March 8, 2016

But still, in this time and age when we ought to be progressive, this is a huge letdown. It is a giant leap backwards!

This is just too much.
Nigerians did not take this sitting down!

Of course not!
Some were not surprised.

Sincerely speaking, I wonder why Nigerians are surprised about the Senate's verdict on gender equality. We voted in paedophiles & thieves!!!
— Thatistimothy (@timadewusi) March 15, 2016

Some realised this wasn’t the only thing the Senate voted against.

https://twitter.com/zebbook/status/709756745820868608

Some believe that the Senate needs to be pitied.

https://twitter.com/ChukwukaJerri/status/709752957353459712

To some, it clearly shows what they think of women.

In only one week, the Nigerian Senate (@NGRSenate) has shown clearly what its members think of Nigerian women pic.twitter.com/cyaV4sk8Qs
— The Jídé Taiwo (@thejidetaiwo) March 15, 2016

All these people are in the Senate and the Bill still got turned down!

Before you forget , the senate is full of our fathers, mothers,sisters,brothers and are all Nigerians.
— Noble Igwe (@Nobsdaslushhkid) March 15, 2016

The senate is anti-women under Senator Saraki’s leadership.

The senate over which @bukolasaraki presides has no regard for women. Women are either peppersoup garnish or nothing #AntiWomenSenate
— Editi Effiòng (@EditiEffiong) March 15, 2016

This Bill should have been passed! It should have been passed like ten years ago! That it is even up for discussion is just unbelievable.

When the Senate who has the responsibility to set things aright, is messing up, it doesn’t bode well for the country. Like, at all!
What are our boys to think?

So the Senate didn’t see a Bill that aims to promote equality, development and advancement of women, as well as freedom of movement, economic activity and access to education as important?!
Do they care about women at all?

The bill would have protected widows, underage girls and rape victims. It would’ve kicked against violence against women! So the vicious circle just continues until something is done. [zkk_poll post=23755 poll=content_block_standard_format_16]

chioma

March 15, 2016

Gist

gender and equal opportunity bill, Nigeria, Senate house
Nigerian Medical Students Will Now Spend Over A Decade To Get Their Degrees!

As if Nigerian medical students don’t have enough to worry about — like strikes, inadequate facilities and whatnot — the National Universities Commission (NUC) has decided to add something else!
According to the Executive Secretary of NUC, Prof. Julius Okojie, all medical students will spend a minimum of ten to eleven years in school before getting their degrees.

According to him, the 2015 document for the training of medical students mandates that students spend four years studying for their first degree in a science-related course. After which they will proceed to medical school to spend another seven years. Which will now be a total of eleven year — four years more than it currently is.
Wait! What?!

Is he joking?
It seems he might not be joking afterall! Proj. Okojie made the announcement while delivering a lecture at the matriculation and inauguration of the University of Medical Science, in Ondo State.

How unfortunate. Very unfortunate.
We know they’re trying to copy the foreign system of medical education, but this one is too much now!

In the American school system for example, students go for a pre-med degree for four years, before medical school, which is another four years. Then three to seven years residency and fellowship.
It’s different if they actually plan to make infrastructure and facilities available and up to standard.

But knowing Nigeria, that will probably never happen.
If this is actually implemented, just imagine what will happen. By the time medical students are through, their counterparts would have gone far in life.

This is so sad! It’s so unfair! [zkk_poll post=23673 poll=content_block_standard_format_7] Featured image via PJNaijaExpress.

chioma

March 15, 2016

Gist

medical student, Nigerian medical student
What All P-Square Fans Were Afraid Of Has Happened! They’ve Gone Solo!

First, the music duo fired their manager, who is also their brother. Then they split because of the same family drama.
Now to cement that they’re not joking, Peter dropped his first solo single on March 8.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMroyGYqQ8A
The song is about his swag and how people wants to know how he does his thing. You know, the usual danceable song.
Peter also has a new name. It’s Mr P!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC-KvRGysBh/

Paul Okoye dropped his own single seven days later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0E69RJOPPM
Paul aka Rudeboy, pours out his heart in this song “Call Heaven“. In it, he expresses his feelings about the ongoing drama.
Paul also posted this photo of his mum on Instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC6-J2Yxvkv/

In his song, Paul remembers the promise he made to his mum. And he wished both his parents were still alive.

In the meantime, Peter now has a new manager.

His name is Olatunde Michael. He was previously the Head of Channel at Soundcity, as well as a Station Manager for Trace TV Nigeria.
Man! They seem to be saying “Up yours” to each other.

The situation looks final too! Things will never remain the same.

[zkk_poll post=23619 poll=content_block_standard_format_8]

chioma

March 15, 2016

Gist

jude okoye, p square, paul okoye, peter okoye, psquare
12 Times This Mr Krab Meme Perfectly Summed Up African Problems

We love this meme and how it makes our hearts race by merely looking at it.

This thread, As Told By Ijeoma perfectly describes how it can really be when kasala starts to burst in an African house.
Let’s begin…

I love this picture. Lemme tweet about African problems with it. pic.twitter.com/33chCkmmxf
— Celine Thee Dion (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016

1. When you see Egungun coming for you with long cane.

When you’re walking in your village and see a masquerade approaching. pic.twitter.com/mDHKq3Fx82
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
2. When you’re about to get caught stealing meat from the pot.

When you’re stealing meat from the pot and hear footsteps pic.twitter.com/pvZuC4OxNR
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
3. When busy body aunties don’t want you to enjoy yourself at an Owambe.

When you’re relaxing at an African party and auntie is picking out girls to help serve food pic.twitter.com/5tOgs71S8R
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
4. When you’re an IJGB in your village.

When you’re visiting your village from abroad and you hear “Pssss. Fine gehl, come.” pic.twitter.com/a0w2orqzMN
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
5. When your long throat puts you in trouble.

When you already ate the biscuit your auntie gave you and your cousin tells you she’s a witch pic.twitter.com/gVmekPzc8C
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
6. When your mother hears the pim she already warned you about.

When your mom hears pim pic.twitter.com/XTqj1zOq3z
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
7. When you desperately need a “Kini” translator.

When your mom says “Bring me my dis ting” but there’s so many dis tings pic.twitter.com/iTd63e8Pdk
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
8. How you search for home-training whenever your parents come around.

When you’re an African kid this is your reaction in general when your parents come home no matter the circumstances. pic.twitter.com/uSlLCaV8zE
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
9. When your behind is about to get really hot from flogging.

When your mom is getting something to beat you with and you’re looking for a place to hide pic.twitter.com/pwwPjd9gax
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
10. When your parents run into their friends at the end of the party.

When you’re about to leave the party and your parents see their friends pic.twitter.com/eK9AJTGXpu
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
11. When you didn’t wash all the dirty plates in the sink.

When your parents come home and there’s still a fork in the sink pic.twitter.com/cjr7R1C7S6
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016
12. When someone catches you lying about your native language.

When you lie and say you’re fluent in your native tongue and someone tells you to speak it pic.twitter.com/iYa5VE3ard
— Coco No Chanel (@AsToldByIjeoma) March 14, 2016

Maryam

March 15, 2016

Gist, Oldies

African problems, Africans, Nigerian problems, Nigerians
Falz’s ‘Soldier’ Video Is Already The Best Nigerian Movie of 2016

So Falz Da Bahd guy dropped a new music video and the mini movie is already a challenge to Nollywood. These are the thoughts that crossed our mind while watching it.
Leggo!

Of course it’s by Bahd Guys Records.

Ah! This one is a movie oh.

Yes! Adeyemi Okanlawon! This is Clarence Peters handwork too.

Ah! Indeed this is a movie!

Is this view from a helicopter or a drone?

Falz has become a news reporter. Lmao! Shawn Stober.

Ah! They kidnapped Simi.

Rescue mission on the way!

Lmao! See Adeyemi’s face. Looks like the rescue mission was successful.

Okay. Flashback.

Liking how local they went for the video.

Fine boys, no pimples.

Aww. He’s going to surprise his bae.

It’s like they’re not a couple yet. See the serious eye she’s giving him.

Yasss! The song has begun. Skip to 5:25 mins if you don’t want to watch the drama.

Her friends are not nice oh. All this shege for one person.

Nice ad placement.

Nawa oh. Stand off because of love.

Eh heh! Sexy teacher.

Falz has become a stalker. She doesn’t want oh.

The Yoruba mother has arrived. Lmao! He is finished!

Eh ya. Look at him. Because of a girl.

She finally changed her mind. Lol!

This bomb blast na one in town!

They kidnapped all the girls!

Wow! See abs! See chocolate abs!

Adeyemi is using Simi to blackmail him.

What?! There’s part three?! Seriously?! It has turned into a Nollywood movie series! And it was about to get really good too!

Is this a music video or a movie? Either way, we love it! It was rather entertaining. This is obviously the continuation of the Jamb Question video. Although Adeyemi is the bad guy here, we still like him jaare! Falz and Simi have undeniable chemistry and they’re really great actors. This video is obviously a combination of good music and good cinematography. Definitely looking forward to part three!
Watch the full video here.

chioma

March 14, 2016

Gist

falz, first time reactions, Simi
MediaTakeOut Threw Epic Shade At Adams Oshiomhole And We’re So Here For It

In two months, these lovebirds will be celebrating the first anniversary of their marriage.

On May 15 2015, 63 year old Governor of Edo state, Adams Oshiomhole married 36 year old Cape Verdean, Lara Fortes.

Amidst hilarious reactions from Nigerians…

Y'know, it's possible Oshiomole has talents y'all don't know about *sips tea*.
— S. (@saratu) May 15, 2015

But their marriage has only stirred up shade on shade on shade. First from Nigerians who created this meme..

…From the senator every Nigerian wants to slap right now, Dino Melaye…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3zJmKiZDbA

And even more recently, the American gossip blog well known for their ratchetness, MediaTakeOut threw this mighty shade in their headline.

LOL! Na wa oh!

As if carrying last with the gist was not enough…

They went and reported a false number on Lara Oshiomhole’s age.

You can read the article MediaTakeOut shared here.
But we’re here for the banter jare…
[zkk_poll post=23477 poll=content_block_standard_format_9]

Maryam

March 14, 2016

Gist

adams oshiomhole, lara fortes, media take out, shade, Wedding
Reno Omokri Is Our Favourite Parody Account And Here’s Why

For those of you that don’t know him, Reno Omokri was the controversial Special Assistant to former President, Goodluck Jonathan.

He is also an accomplished pastor with a second personality, Wendell Simlin. As per FBI agent.
He has been blessing Nigerians with his nuggets of wisdom, some free of charge…

Dear married women

If you can love hair that's not yours, you can also love in laws though they're not ur relatives #RenosWednesdayNugget
— Reno Omokri (@renoomokri) January 13, 2016

Dear ladies,

Deep foundation makes a house strong but it doesn't make a face fine. #RenosWednesdayNugget
— Reno Omokri (@renoomokri) January 20, 2016

Ladies, dont give in to peer pressure. A decently dressed girl stands out in a sea of cleavage and buttock baring girls #RenosThursdayNugget
— Reno Omokri (@renoomokri) January 14, 2016

Dear wife,

Criticizing your husbands choice of friends reflects badly on you. You were once a friend before a wife #RenosWednesdayNugget
— Reno Omokri (@renoomokri) January 20, 2016

We were kind enough to share some of his mind blowing tweets of wisdom with you.
Sometimes he spends his hard-earned cash to share longer forms of these nuggets.

From the article he posted on Linda Ikeji, women should only aspire to be lovely and not sexy….

Because lovely women are better than sexy women.

Sexiness is Satanic…

“….I am convinced Satan promotes the word sexy so we can see women as sex objects….”
And Esther in the Bible was not a sexy woman…

“Why did Esther obtain this favour? It is a historical fact that King Xerxes had many SEXY women in his harem. Yet despite the multiplicity of sexiness available to him, it was the LOVELY Esther he chose as his queen…”
Even animals are not sexy….

“Even among animals, a lioness is a lovely animal and that is why she stays in a pride with her lion mate. The lion will protect her and together they will raise a family of cubs that stay with them until they start their own pride or are absorbed into another pride.”
What if his bitter truth is rather misogynistic?

“That is just the bitter truth. Some may call me misogynistic but I have a wife and a daughter that will testify to how I treat them like queens. Truth is bitter, lies are butter. One will purge you while the other will make you fat!”
Oga Reno, can’t women be both lovely and sexy?

Dear women,@MichelleObama is a lovely while @KimKardashian is a sexy. Which of these women would you rather be? #RenosSundayNugget
— Reno Omokri (@renoomokri) March 13, 2016

When someone quotes the scripture to falsely back their rather unintelligent opinion.

How did he know Esther wasn’t sexy? Old testament prefect!

When people compare women to animals in a bid to make “smart” analogies..

No uterus, no opinion!!!

@renoomokri why do men randomly think they should be the ones to define how women live their lives. Stay in your lane!
— Geekay (@gkbalogs) March 13, 2016

Not every time make baseless comments…

@renoomokri if @KimKardashian is your mum. Would you make such an ascertain. Total baseless. @DrJoeOdumakin @estherclimate @obyezeks
— OKE (@vinz0499) March 13, 2016

Sometimes keep shut.

Dear foolish, STFU, it's the bloody sabbath, thank you. https://t.co/yuv0ciPC8I
— Funmi Iyanda (@Funmilola) March 13, 2016

Throwback to Mr Reno’s dual personality days.

Oga, they aren't mutually exclusive, just like how you can both be Reno Omokri and Wendell Simlin. https://t.co/Gbp8A4NMhD
— Chine(melum) Ezekwesili 🔻🔺🔻🐈‍⬛ (@ChineEzeks) March 13, 2016

Yes! Reno Omokri is the greatest Nigerian parody account on the internet. Is he hilariously mind blowing, hell yes! Intellectual and thought provoking nko? *cricket chirp* You can read the entire article here. [zkk_poll post=23375 poll=content_block_standard_format_21]

Maryam

March 14, 2016

Gist

Motivational Speakers, nigerian twitter, Nigerian. Motivational, Njgerians, reno, Reno Omokri, renos nuggets, wisdom, wisdom quotes
How Do You Get That Fine Girl’s Number? Let This Guy School You

Psst! Guys and gentlemen over here. A guy just showed you how to get that lady’s phone number! And it’s quite simple actually.
This is Topo Ngidi, a lovely lady from Botswana.

A guy tried to get her number, you know, the way guys like to do.

And she said no.

What’s the guy to do?

Certainly something creative, just like this guy.

https://twitter.com/MissNgidi/status/708396935217074177

How many of you can do this?

He even does something more impressive. At least for her.

https://twitter.com/MissNgidi/status/708397864255397890

Of course, the people of Twitter had things to say.

He must be a player.

https://twitter.com/ThatDeborahGirl/status/709269400256430080

It was an opportunity for her to make some easy cash.

@MissNgidi & you haven’t sold it? That’s easy cash. You biting or nah? pic.twitter.com/TouSGBxbHH
— ¥eezus (@Yaya_Onfire) March 12, 2016
Or is a potential stalker.

https://twitter.com/TheVixenPixie/status/708675898531299328

Some were morbid.

@MissNgidi *plot twist* what if he reports it as stolen
— gOrgeOusTK (@Just_Thikheyi) March 12, 2016
According to one, he wants her goodies.

@MissNgidi I know a lady who almost got raped by a phone donor. If u don’t plan 2 have sex with him, post his phone back ASAP & avoid him.
— Olusola Adio (@solaadio) March 12, 2016
His creativity was admired.

@MissNgidi now that’s how to get a girl to wait for your call, love that
— snapchat : temmitats (@_Temilorun) March 12, 2016
He could be Nigerian.

@missngidi i’m sure he is nigerian.
— 4eyez (@jerrytaen) March 12, 2016
Or he could be the potential bae.

@MissNgidi Please, take his call. He might be the one.
— Adé táyọ̀ (@Tayo_Mr) March 12, 2016
So she was advised to pick up.

@MissNgidi all these hungry people saying sell it. Smh.
He is a smart man & a go-getter. Go on one date. It may be worth your while. — ° (@Evie__Frye) March 12, 2016
Some offered what they had.

https://twitter.com/BurnaboyPh/status/708590055191871488

Some beileved that she was lying.

@MissNgidi pic.twitter.com/iECcrYTApq
— BAFFOUR_ (@BygBadTyga) March 13, 2016
But even if she was or it actually happened, goals have been set.
[zkk_poll post=23376 poll=content_block_standard_format_20]

chioma

March 14, 2016

Gist

get schooled, Ladies, phone number, pick up, pick up lines, Single ladies
Nigerian Comedienne Chigul Shocked Everyone In This Emotional Documentary

We all know her as the hilarious comedienne, Chigul, but in this documentary by Kemi Adetiba, Chioma Omeruah showed the world her emotional side.
Nigerian music director and film maker, Kemi Adetiba recently launched a documentary series themed “King Women”.

Featuring other successful Nigerian women such as TY Bello and Taiwo Ajayi -Lycett, this series seeks to share the glory and pain behind their success so as to paint a realistic picture of what real life role models go through.
In a recently released teaser of the King Women series, Chigul shared how much she quarreled with her mother especially when she had marital crisis.

She said “…I resented her because I felt I was going through a tough time in my marriage and she was just telling me, Go back to your husband, Go back to your husband”.
Not losing her humourous touch, she explained how everybody around insisted on her holding on to an already failing marriage.

“Is anybody asking me what’s going on with me and how I feel and how it’s doing me in my body? Did anybody care?”
She tearfully mentioned how hurt and disappointed she was after her marriage fell apart.

“When my marriage fell apart, I failed at something and I had nowhere to land. Like, it fell apart and I didn’t want it to fall apart and I feel like I disappointed my dad because we talked about it before he died”.
And despite going through so much all by herself…

“No one was there and I wanted people to be there. I wanted to be able to go to my mom and say I’m tired…. And she’d just always say “Go back to your husband”.
And learning of her husband’s love child with another woman…

“When I found that my mom, like she knew, I was like, I’m done with everybody, don’t talk to me! But I later thought about it like how was she supposed to bring that to me, like news? Like gist?
She still loves her mother and is grateful for the milestones in her career but also wants to have her own children.

“I wanted to give her grandchildren. I wanted us to bond over those things. My success with my life, my career is great, it’s wonderful. But I want other things”.
When Nigerians found out Chigul was married..

And could relate to the pain she felt.

https://twitter.com/thegimsay/status/708278004330459138

We were all moved.

https://twitter.com/_Kaelo_/status/708284526246694912

Several other women experience hardships in many aspects of their life that cannot be expressed openly.
It should be understood that marital crisis aren’t necessarily a taboo or things that can be solved by only the woman in the marriage.
Watch the teaser of her story here.

Keep up with the other featured women in the series via Kemi Adetiba’s Youtube Channel: Adventures Of Kemi Adetiba

Maryam

March 11, 2016

Gist

chi gurl, comedy, marriage, Nigerian Mothers, Nigerians
The Nigerian Police Has Been Spending Millions Of Naira On The Importation Of Dogs

As if the list of things that get imported into the country isn’t shocking enough…
The Inspector General of Police recently disclosed that the Nigerian Police Force has spent roughly 600 million Naira on the importation of dogs from South Africa in the last couple years.

The Inspector-General, Solomon Arase stated that 400 K-9 dogs will be bred in Nigeria rather than spending all that money on importing foreign breeds.

This means the Buy Naija movement has spread to the Nigerian police.

Maybe Daddy Fashola can pump all that saved money into the power sector so Nigerians can get better supply of electricity.

No shade to these dogs but will the locally bred police dogs be groomed like the Nigerian dogs we all know of?

When you find out the police spent 600 million on dogs but can’t arrest the armed robbers troubling your street.

Why haven’t we seen these dogs patrolling the streets with the Police Patrol Team?

When you realise all that money could have solved the “Madam, we no get fuel for our van” problems.

Or used to improve the deplorable conditions of police cells and their inmates.

Anyway, this project will definitely save lots of money for the country. We hope these locally bred dogs get to finally serve the country this time around.
[zkk_poll post=23192 poll=content_block_standard_format_11]

Maryam

March 11, 2016

Gist

600 million, k-9 dogs, Nigerian dogs, Nigerian money, Nigerian police, police dogs
Check Out This Hilarious African Parody Of Rihanna’s Work Video!

Nigerians always find ways to make fun of random things and this is no different.
In this skit for Sahara TV, Nnenna and Ike created a parody of Rihanna’s “Work” music video.

This African version, is all about the typical Nigerian married couple.
Oluwadrake and Rihannachukwu quarrel about how under-appreciated they both make each other feel.

Of course, each side will claim to be right and not listen to the other side.

She says he doesn’t treat her right and he says he paid for her ticket to come to the U.S.
All he knows is work.

Working to make money for the two of them.
And all she knows is chop.

All she does is chop his money.
The lyrics are funny, but Rihannachukwu’s dancing is absolutely hilarious!

Watch the video below:

chioma

March 11, 2016

Gist

Rihanna, work
Someone Has Donated Clothes To Kim Kardashian!

Kim Kardashian has been on a roll in the past few days.

First, she shared this picture on Instagram and Twitter, because she apparently didn’t have clothes to wear.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCpQBQROS5l/

The photo caused wahala on the internet, with other famous people coming for her.

https://twitter.com/BetteMidler/status/706914093567873024

Then she posted another, because one isn’t enough

#liberated pic.twitter.com/5UVNrokpBc
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016

Then, just in case there were still people in the world that failed to see the initial photos, she shared this one again for International Women’s Day.

HAPPY #INTERNATIONALWOMENSDAY https://t.co/PStwuNp9bl pic.twitter.com/QFI40gkyUO
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016

Piers Morgan – ever the practical man – offered to buy her clothes.

I know the old man's $50 million in debt, Kim – but this is absurd.
Want me to buy you some clothes? https://t.co/hEA9osB2QF
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) March 7, 2016

But it seems like he wasn’t the only one who did. Twitter user. @droid254, gave her a makeover.

With this…

@KimKardashian Please don’t do this …I got you ????? pic.twitter.com/VJm6GJ17Oo
— Droid (@droid254) March 8, 2016
And this…

@GaithoK #liberated #NguoArt pic.twitter.com/Cuu7EA1cqg
— Droid (@droid254) March 9, 2016
And this…

Krishna Kardashian #liberated #NguoArt pic.twitter.com/WTqov1ZXRl
— Droid (@droid254) March 9, 2016
And this…

Let her work at Equity Bank @GaithoK #liberated #NguoArt pic.twitter.com/9WHBYcjBVo
— Droid (@droid254) March 9, 2016
And this…

@droid254 last one … I think… ?#NguoArt #Liberated She’s now a “User Friendly Desktop Background Image” pic.twitter.com/QKrZX5qlZl
— Gaitho Kimani (@GaithoK) March 9, 2016
And this…

last one #NguoArt #Liberated @GaithoK pic.twitter.com/5Q8P2UHtr0
— Droid (@droid254) March 9, 2016
This is really rather creative. Anyone this good with Photoshop should be feared.

chioma

March 11, 2016

Gist

Kim Kardashian
These 27 Hilarious Memes Accurately Describe Moments In History

1. When Jesus asked his disciples to forgive 70×7.

#MemeHistory

Disciple: how many times should I forgive.
Jesus: 70X7
Disciple: pic.twitter.com/5Sw4eUnaPW
— Mr. Charles Isidi III (@TheCharlesIsidi) March 11, 2016

Ham so confused.
2. Delilah didn’t come to sell groundnut.

https://twitter.com/iamHighDee/status/708205763538370560
What do you even know?
3. When Jesus fed the hungry 5000.

https://twitter.com/MsSsygala/status/708205732043341824
Bros J, na you oh!
4. When Moses came to disturb Pharoah’s life.

https://twitter.com/Flt_s3nyo/status/708205633506508800
Let my people go dakun!
5. How Jesus rose from the dead.

https://twitter.com/JORESHIC/status/708205555932905472
Like a boss.
6. When the fire of God came down, Elijah’s people be like…

https://twitter.com/jackdre02/status/708203722694922240
Look at God!
7. Solomon after every wedding he had…

#MemeHistory Solomon at d wedding of his 299th wife
Servant: Is there anything else u want with ur majesty?
Solomon: pic.twitter.com/XVLnAVMitj
— Big Cuz (@imohumoren) March 11, 2016

And another one!
8. How God sent Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden.

https://twitter.com/MrOkeke_/status/708196428988821504
Gerarrahere mehn!
9. After making mouth, Samson woke up to a shaved head like…

https://twitter.com/Punthief/status/708194121609928705
Hay God! Na me this?
10. How Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego turned up in Nebuchadnezzar’s furnace.

https://twitter.com/King_Eisenheim/status/708180767067615232
God is bae!
11. When God starts punishing you for disobedience.

https://twitter.com/Punthief/status/708179839438553089
God abeg na!
12. When people call you “Baba baby” but the child isn’t yours.

When Mary told Joseph she was pregnant, but he had never touched her #MemeHistory pic.twitter.com/1P1bBYblor
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) March 11, 2016

Is he going to call me daddy Joseph?
13. When your enemies are put to shame.

https://twitter.com/Punthief/status/708178313320083458
What sorcery did that Jesus even perform?
14. Satan needs to quit already.

When Satan told Jesus he will give him the whole world if he bowed and worshipped him #MemeHistory pic.twitter.com/BrwQ5bArVu
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) March 11, 2016

Satan, you can lie!
15. When the people of Noah heard the first thunderclap…

When everyone ridiculed Noah but then they felt that first rain drop #MemeHistory pic.twitter.com/J5qZsKOAEi
— Rosa Sparks (@yosoy_kimbo) March 11, 2016

Wait first.
16. And Noah be like …

Noah when it started raining and everybody tried to apologize and get on the Ark….#MemeHistory pic.twitter.com/P7UU522maa
— Chase (@GChase_) March 11, 2016

Shebi I warned you people.
17. How Noah chilled in his ark for 40 days and nights.

Noah in the ark when it was raining for 40 days and 40 nights #memehistory pic.twitter.com/G3i4KvUQqU
— nathan zed (@NathanZed) March 11, 2016

18. When people are just too disobedient.

https://twitter.com/eIectrichapel/status/708134184418607106
If I catch these children..
19. When Jesus brought Lazarus from the dead.

https://twitter.com/SheSeauxSaditty/status/708130596682227713
Swag!
20. Just look at the devil…

https://twitter.com/homotears/status/708123445221953536
So evil.
21. When your BFFs snitch on you.

https://twitter.com/SJ_lovesyou/status/708116694049357824
These bros ain’t loyal.
22. If you were owing Jesus money.

When You owed Jesus money and u saw him 3 days later #MemeHistory pic.twitter.com/z1Tj9EsQMb
— Eche Enziga 🅰️🌶 (@Echecrates) March 11, 2016

So I can’t even get away with this gbese.
23. Moses swagging after parting the red sea.

https://twitter.com/SeseTetiwe/status/708166307397525505
YAS! Slay, Moses!
24. How Balaam and his talking donkey went to curse the Israelites.

The conversation between Balaam and his talking donkey on their way to curse Israel. #MemeHistory pic.twitter.com/XMntcSSCwS
— Nyokafi (@NyokabiWainaina) March 11, 2016

LOL!
25. Eve dealing with the deceitful serpent of the garden of Eden.

https://twitter.com/blxckbillgates/status/708214141526405120
Kill the unfortunate snake.
26. How Nigerians celebrated when Abacha died.

Looooool RT @Femi_17: When Abacha finally ate Apple and died, Nigerians were like LOOK AT GOD #Memehistory https://t.co/o6nDmiQXJA
— Eka (@Lionezz__) March 11, 2016

Just look at God!

Maryam

March 11, 2016

Gist

History, meme, meme history, memehistory, nigerian twitter, Nigerians
Nigerians Share What Would’ve Happened If Albert Einsten Was African

Africa as a continent has a lot of catching up to do with the rest of the science world. Nigerians on Twitter re-imagined Albert Einstein as an African and their tweets were hilarious.
1. We wouldn’t be thanking anybody for bringing Facebook to Nigeria.

https://twitter.com/PurpleEllipsis/status/707452012745646080
We would’ve had our thing since!
2. University lecturers and their wahala.

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican, UNIPORT Physics Dept lecturers would've frustrated him till he abandoned his research to become a Teller in UBA
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) March 9, 2016

They wouldn’t let someone be great.
3. His mother still wouldn’t take nonsense.

https://twitter.com/pam_E_chic/status/707468017664442368
Because, who genius epp?
4. His African mother would’ve caught him lying.

https://twitter.com/Femi_17/status/707502328509800448
African mothers know it all!
5. NEPA would have still dealt with him…

https://twitter.com/ani_nomso/status/707511686069100544
They’re just the worst.
6. With their ways of disappointment and wickeness.

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican NEPA For take light before he discovered anything.
— period partner (@duchesskk) March 9, 2016

SMH!
7. This would be one of his wise sayings…

Am sure #IfEinsteinWasAfrican this could have been his quote https://t.co/RlrIjDTecN"
— aremu pokipoki (@horleejingles) March 9, 2016

So much depth!
8. Because scientists end up in various departments….

@Chydee #IfEinsteinWasAfrican pic.twitter.com/CKiRMbJeTc
— Casper Troy (@CASPERTROY87) March 9, 2016 From the laboratory to the money market!
9. There would be small famzing.

https://twitter.com/alisterity/status/707516286474002433
Who no like better thing?
10. Nigerian universities, the Alpha and Omega of disappointment.

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican OAU wudda given him Portuguese instead of Physics
😂
— Uncle Mide 🧔🏾‍♂️ (@olummiddey) March 9, 2016

Admitting students for weird courses (that they didn’t apply for) since 1900.
11. Teachers’ minds would be blown to the ceiling.

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican He'd by that brilliant guy that that scores 120/100 because the teacher got carried away while marking his script.
— OG Waheedi. (@gboukzi) March 9, 2016

As per genius.
12. African mothers be like…

https://twitter.com/Femi_17/status/707499475296722944
Who Uranium don epp?
13. He would have been a doctor.

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican

Albert: Daddy, I want to study Physics?

Dad: It's like you're mad. You're going to be a doctor. Who physics don epp?
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) March 9, 2016

In an African home, you must be a doctor, engineer or disgrace to the family.
14. Or ended up as one of our secondary school principals.

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican Jamb would av made him study Agric Ed. He will probably be the principal of C.M.S Grammar school Bariga.
— Baby (@t_midee) March 9, 2016

And learned how to flog mercilessly.
15. He would’ve chopped random slaps from his teachers with this…

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican , dem for don call am winch for saying "imagination is more important than knowledge " pic.twitter.com/9xrm4fkMOd
— The OverLord Queen Herself (@Topsyken) March 9, 2016

Because, absolute cramming is knowledge.
16. Would the world have believed him?

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican , would the world have accepted that E=mc2? pic.twitter.com/PxPZJFiVZh
— The OverLord Queen Herself (@Topsyken) March 9, 2016

And accepted this very important equation?
17. The sorcery conductors performed with our change.

https://twitter.com/PurpleEllipsis/status/707445038222024704
No more Danfo!
18. Would he have survived JAMB’s wahala?

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican, he wouldn't have gotten into Polytechnic even after failing JAMB.
— Oberkommando der Quency Quencies (@KoloKennethK) March 8, 2016

No JAMB, No school.
19. To be realistic…

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican, they would have still called Africa the dark continent because Baba's papers won't get published rara…
— Oberkommando der Quency Quencies (@KoloKennethK) March 9, 2016

Some people ‘know’ better than everybody else in the world.
20. The theory of relativity of free food…

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican theory of relativity would be dont collect food from aunty kemi shes a witch
— Nas (@pam_E_chic) March 9, 2016

Eating food from Aunty Kemi is directly proportional to flying at the wee hours of the night.
21. He would’ve carted away with all the As.

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican he would be the classmate with 2 heads that our parents always talked about.
— period partner (@duchesskk) March 9, 2016

Does Albert have two heads?
22. Brillant ad!

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican, we bet he would have shopped at Yudala cos he's #Smart, he's #Loyal.😉👌 #BestPricesAlways pic.twitter.com/c57XaNtP3J
— KongaPay (@KongaPay) March 9, 2016

In this case, brilliant famzing.
23. Yet another brillant ad.

https://twitter.com/RedTownDigital/status/707538481883574272
LMAO! Eating Jollof is an important key to success.
24. Our amala swallowing skills would be better.

#ifEinsteinWasAfrican he wud av written formula for viscosity of swallowing hot amala in ibadan
— posh kunlexy (@oladehinkunle) March 9, 2016

Hot amala is not for the weak!
25. He would’ve looked a lot like Wole Soyinka.

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican He would have been black. Most importantly. He'll look like Wole Soyinka with a moustache. 😅
— 👷🏾‍♂️ (@gabriel_ofonime) March 9, 2016

The signature grey hair!
26. But unfortunately, our scientists hardly make the news.

#IfEinsteinWasAfrican, nobody will be tweeting #IfEinsteinWasAfrican, cos in Africa only activists, billionaires and entertainers are known
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) March 9, 2016

But they are still very relevant and making changes in Africa!
What if the next Einstein is African?

Africans are already building solutions to some of the scientific problems troubling the continent.
Join the Movement and call on African governments, leaders of civil society and the private sector and young people to support a new era in science, technology and innovation. We’re looking for 1 million signatures. Pledge your signature.

Maryam

March 11, 2016

Gist

African Einstein, Albert einstein, einstein, sponsored
Nigerians Came For Fashola, As NEPA Is Messing Up Big Time!

It seems like the mercy period for the Minister of Power, Works and Housing is over. As the former governor of Lagos state, Babatunde Fashola impressed Nigerians and the rest of the world with his dedication and the transformation of Eko.
So when he was handed the mantle of leadership of not one, not two, but three important ministries in the country, on November 11, 2015, Nigerians gave him some time to do his magic.
But now, the believe is that he’s had more than enough time to have done something tangible.

https://twitter.com/chidiajuzie/status/705812302415712257
Power generation initially peaked at 5,074.7 megawatts, in February 2015 — which was a new record in the history of Nigeria’s electricity generation profile. But it has, since then, fallen to an all time low of 1,580.6MW megawatts.
Electricity supply has gotten progressively worse since 2016 began and Nigerians cannot take it any longer.

Nigerians took to Twitter to express their displeasure.

Some wondered if he was even in office.

My APC friends, can you tell Nigerians when our Super Minister, Fashola is resuming office as Minister of Power, Works and Housing?
— Lere Olayinka – Aresa 1 (@OlayinkaLere) March 3, 2016

Some were not surprised by the state of things, but by Fashola’s silence.

The terrible power situation doesn't surprise me; Nigeria is a dysfunctional mess. "Super minister" Fashola's silence is baffling.
— Onye Nkuzi (@cchukudebelu) March 3, 2016

Some speculate that Buhari had an agenda by giving Fashola more than he can chew.

Maybe PMB made Fashola a super minister in order to demystify him.

The hype created by the Lagos media is gone with the wind.

SMH!
— Omadi (@iamtenseven) March 4, 2016

Some say that his positions should have been given to a more qualified somebody.

Fashola, a SAN, heads Power, works and Housing ministr(y)ies. Are we short of Engineers in these areas?
— OD_SIT (@I_amOD_SIT) March 10, 2016

Some have ended their long-term relationship with him.

Dear Babatunde Fashola,

This relationship is not working anymore.

It's not me.

It's you.

Yours, Not Stan.
— Temisan Okomi (@temiokomi) March 9, 2016

A few laughed at the situation.

This is the funniest cartoon I have seen in ages. The guys @sunnewsnigeria know how to crack a rib! pic.twitter.com/PM2vetWeKX
— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) March 9, 2016

Some believe that he hasn’t been given enough money to do his work.

Fashola performs but with a big budget. He needs 70m for website. 300m for boreholes and billions of dollars for short bridges. He performs.
— Mr. Bill Achusim (@BillAchusim) March 10, 2016

Some have learnt a bitter truth – talk is cheap.

https://twitter.com/solomonapenja/status/707848554639986688

And that action is better than words.

Fashola u spoke all d English inside dictionary about power supply .Oya it's time to perform silence… Tueeh
— V is for Vendetta. (@alpha_orikaeze1) March 10, 2016

Fashola was given way too much responsiblity. He can’t joggle them all. But we sha still want our light.

[zkk_poll post=23073 poll=content_block_standard_format_15]

chioma

March 10, 2016

Gist

electricity, fashola, NEPA
These Badass Grandmas Stay Slaying Decades After Their Retirement

Stepping down from their various positions of work in the Kenyan government during the 70s, these women retired to the ultimate baby girl lifestyle.

They now spend their time travelling to exotic tourists sites in Africa and partying exclusively.

Catching up with three of them in Somalia, self-taught Kenyan digital artist and photographer, Osborne Macharia, together with his team created beautiful portraits of them just in time for International Women’s Day.

After failing an exam while studying Architecture at university, Osborne stumbled on the work of sensational photographer, Joey Lawrence and got inspired. He has since used his pictures as a means of showing the beautiful side of his country to the world.
Here are the portraits from the Project Nyanye shoot:

Mrs S. Were

She was the Economist and Personal Advisor to the Kenyan president between 1972 and 1992.
Ms. M. Adhiambo

She served as the Minister of Trade and Industry from 1972 to 1980.
Mrs Kamau Njuguna

She was the Governor of Central Bank of Kenya between 1980 and 1985.
Being one of the finalists of the 2016 HasselBlad Masters photography competition, Osborne has also worked for international brands such as Coca-Cola, Samsung, Toyota and so many others.

You can head to his Behance page and website to keep tabs on other beautiful photos from him. Instagram account: @osborne_macharia

Maryam

March 10, 2016

Gist

grandmother, Granny, Kenya, kenyan women, Kenyans, Kneyan, Nigerian women, Nigerians
Check Out This Student’s Hilarious Answer To A Chemistry Question

Not every time complain about how difficult chemistry or any other subject is, it’s not always rocket science.

Sometimes, comparing some scientific terms to real-life people or situations can be an easy way to answer these questions. Oya, thank us for this life hack.
This student was asked to define electro-negativity in a question that carried 5 extra marks.

https://twitter.com/Girlish_lava_/status/707550956179890177

And instead of simply defining the exact thing the teacher taught, the student added jara just to show how much the concept was understood.

“Yes, I’m getting this 5pts! To properly articulate what electronegativity is, I would like to draw your attention to Trey Songz a.k.a Mr Steal your gurl. You see Trey has no chill, he’s a killer, a savage. He steals other men’s girls without any remorse. Electronegativity is a concept with a lot of Trey like behaviour. It’s the ability for an atom to take another atom’s electron with Flourine being the OG Trey Songz because it has the highest electronegativity of all the elements, straight stealing them. That’s an A+ answer Ms Chery.”
For those of you wondering who Mr Steal Your Girl is…

And with this amount of buffness (and very little singing prowess), this man goes forth snatching people’s girlfriends up and down.
Points for creativity!!! This students scored all of the 5 points with this answer.

If this student were Nigerian, the story may turn out differently though. How dare you answer a question this creatively?
Only bad Nigerian children know how Trey Songz steals girls instead of cramming every single word in their notes. [zkk_poll post=22973 poll=content_block_standard_format_6]

Maryam

March 10, 2016

Gist

chemistry, hilarious, School, smart, student, students, subject
Nigerian Senators Were Incredibly Passionate About Women’s Rights On International Women’s Day

In a world where gender inequality and patriarchy thrive, people in powerful positions ought to work together to provide equal opportunities for everyone.

The International Women’s Day was set side to recognise and celebrate all the women of the world for their social, political and economic achievements.
In this gathering that costs Nigeria over 120 billion Naira annually…

One would think lasting solutions to the country’s problems are discussed and implemented.
Unfortunately, our Nigerian senators would rather engage in Oshodi fights.

Or re-enact scenes from Prison Break…

Or sometimes compare Nigerian women to objects.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGKZBs-p5a0

And on International Women’s Day rather than address issues such as child marriage, rape, infringed rights to education and other pressing issues…

Senate Leader Ali Ndume supports the Motion, urging men to not just be friends with women but marry them and as well take care of women.
— The Nigerian Senate (@NGRSenate) March 8, 2016

They would rather make jokes on how women should be married off in polygamous marriages.

Leader Ndume adds a prayer that men should be encouraged to marry more than one wife. Senator Nazif Suleiman seconds but the Nays have it.
— The Nigerian Senate (@NGRSenate) March 8, 2016

What’s all this?

Are Nigerian lawmakers rather very unfortunate?

On a teusday morning with all the problems Nigerians are facing,senators want Nigerian men to add more wives.
Aren't we a lucky bunch?
— Zahra Zaraa Danejo (@tinkizee2) March 8, 2016

Or just incredibly ignorant?

https://twitter.com/Euphoria9ja/status/707174830936891392

How can marriage be the only logical way to champion women’s rights?

1. How can 'marriage' be d only way a man can show care to a woman? Dat's about all some Nigerian senators can think of. #SMH @Gidi_Traffic
— Seb Inede (@seb_inede) March 9, 2016

Can Nigeria move forward with the rest of the world at this pace?

The world is advancing and discussing the future Nigerian senators are discussing marrying Second wife 😠😠😠who cursed Nigeria????
— Toms 😘🌹 (@O_luwatomiwa) March 8, 2016

Maybe someone could be kind enough to help find the priorities they lost.

Some Nigerian Senators are more concerned about the number of wives men can marry, talk about misplaced priorities.
— Eaglewoman Bibiire (@Bibiiremusings) March 8, 2016

We’re sha not there oh!

These people should be happy it’s just feminists being angry. I wish women would organise to pelt Senator Ndume with eggs.
— Editi Effiòng (@EditiEffiong) March 8, 2016
It’s about time for Nigerian lawmakers to sit up, make research, address issues and make efforts to implement lasting solutions to problems.
[zkk_poll post=22877 poll=content_block_standard_format_15]

Maryam

March 9, 2016

Gist

international women’s day, lawmakers, nigerian senators, senators
Can Everybody Shut Up About Kim Kardashian Already?

It was just another Tuesday morning and everyone in the social media universe were jejely minding their business when Kim K did it again.

In the usual fashion, she posted a nude photo of herself on her Twitter and Instagram pages and said she didn’t know what to wear.
Instead of looking and moving on, people lost their minds and some went and threw shade..

@KimKardashian I truly hope you realize how important setting goals are for young women, teaching them we have so much more to offer than-
— Chloë Grace Moretz (@ChloeGMoretz) March 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/BetteMidler/status/706914093567873024

Some felt her husband’s gbese was getting to her and offered to buy her clothes.

I know the old man's $50 million in debt, Kim – but this is absurd.
Want me to buy you some clothes? https://t.co/hEA9osB2QF
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) March 7, 2016

A kind Nigerian was bold enough to give her a makeover.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Nigerians want you stop this @KimKardashian pic.twitter.com/K6KTTDvo1g
— Fiona Kamikazi Rutagengwa (@Fiona_Kamikazi) March 8, 2016

She clapped back at everybody…

hey @piersmorgan never offer to buy a married woman clothes. thats on some ashley madison type shit #forresearch
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016

Is she the new Twitter fingers?

hey @BetteMidler I know it's past your bedtime but if you're still up and reading this send nudes #justkidding
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016

let's all welcome @ChloeGMoretz to twitter, since no one knows who she is. your nylon cover is cute boo
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016

After exhausting her Twitter finger muscles, she went on another round of posting nudes..

And captioned them with how liberated she was.
Then she wanted the world to know she was empowered in every aspect of her life.

And was unafraid to show her flaws and body to the world.

Well, she kuku has the right to give any excuse however ridiculous to post her nudes.

Her adorable little daughter could ‘accidentally’ post them on the internet.

Or she might suddenly not have any clothes to wear…

She could even be feeling a little empowered…

Her body may even be paining her sef.

She should sha post her thing and move on…

And those interested in looking should also look and carry face.

Maryam

March 9, 2016

Gist

kanye, KAnye West, Kardashian, kim, Kim Kardashian, the kardashians
Meet One Of The Female Authors From Northern Nigeria

Balaraba Ramat Yakubu is one of the few indigenous authors whose works have been translated into another language and made into a movie.

She is also one of the pioneer writers of Littattafan Soyayya (Books of love) genre which started and has now become popular in Northern Nigeria.
However her life as an author didn’t start as beautifully as the books she wrote…

At 12, Balaraba Ramat Yakubu was pulled out of school by her father when he discovered she had been secretly going to school and married her off to a 40 year old man despite protests from her older brother, Murtala Mohammed (former Military Ruler of Nigeria).
And because she was the imperfect wife who couldn’t conveniently boil even a pot of water, she was sent back to her parents, in disgrace.

The end of her first marriage strengthened her resolve to get an education even more. With help from her mother, she attended adult education classes themed at reading and writing Hausa under the guise of learning sewing and knitting.
Her father discovered her primary school certificate and simply responded by informing her of another arranged marriage.

At 15, she walked into her second marriage with a little sense of fulfilment at having at least an elementary education. However, this marriage was unsuccessful because she was “too independent” and wasn’t as obedient as her husband wanted her to be.
At 18, she was once again sent back to her parents but she stood her ground to complete her education this time around.

She enrolled at the Kano State Agency for Mass Education and later went on to teach other women Hausa language.
Two failed marriages and 5 children later, Balaraba gave up on the institution of marriage and focused on her writing career.

Her first book, Budurwar Zuciya meaning ‘Young At Heart’ was published in 1987. In 1990, she published Wa Zai Auri Jahila (Who will marry an ignorant woman) which was inspired by her life as a child bride and centered around a 13 year old girl who was pulled out of school and forced to marry an elderly man.
And in spite of the ground she has gained among her readers, she received threatening letters and was the subject of criticism from religious clerics.

However, she continues to write stories that address rape, child marriage, maltreatment of women and domestic violence, all in Hausa language.
Some of her work have been translated into English. An excerpt of Wa Zai Auri was also translated into English by Carmen McCain.

Alhaki Kuykuyo Ne (Sin Is A Puppy That Follow You Home) was made into a movie in 1998 and subsequently translated by Aliyu Kamal in 2012. Some of her books have also been introduced into the Kano State Junior Secondary Schools curriculum.
At 57, she continues to speak out against injustice against women especially in Northern Nigeria and works as the program officer coordinating trauma counselling at the Murtala Mohammed Foundation.

With help from the team at the foundation, she counsels victims affected by Boko Haram attacks and offers them support.

Maryam

March 9, 2016

Gist

books, Nigerian, nigerian author
From Former Sex Worker To Electrician, This Young Ugandan Girl’s Life Has Been Transformed!

Women face hardships everyday, including being forced by circumstances or people to sell their bodies to make ends meet.
That is the story of Jacqueline, an 18 year old girl from Uganda.

Due to a lack of support from her parents and financial troubles, Jacqueline entered the sex slave trade at the age of 16, just to be able to put herself through school.
Her work in the sex industry began after she shared the tough financial situation she was in with her neighbour.
The neighbour then helped her get a job as a bar attendant. From working in the bar she joined the trade to make ends meet to support her sick aunt and her sick aunt’s kids.
Jacqueline had to sleep with three to four men a day, in a bid to make a reasonable amount of money.

She made between 30,000 to 40,000 Uganda shillings ($9 to $12 or N2880 to N3840) from that.
Her life continued that way until a saviour, in the form of a social worker, came to her rescue.

The woman told her about the Partnership for Empowerment of Vulnerable Girls and Women project (PEVUS), an initiative that works with young women to educate them on their rights and sexual health and helps them learn new skills. Though Jacqueline was sceptical at first, she decided to check them out, because she had nothing to lose. She accepted their support in April 2015 and was trained for free.
Two years later and with a toddler that resulted from her stint as a sex worker, Jacqueline is now an electrician.

She plans to acquire a diploma and degree in Electronics and be an inspiration to young girls so that they can aspire to be and do anything they want to. She’s also grateful that she has the means to provide for and take care of her one-year-old child.
Jacqueline’s story is an inspiration.

chioma

March 9, 2016

Gist

sexual slavery, trafficking
Famous Tennis Player Maria Sharapova Tested Positive For An Illegal Drug, But Her Excuses Don’t Make Sense

So, on March 7, Maria Sharapova, the seventh most famous tennis player in the world and the highest-earning female athlete in the world, confessed that she’d been doping for a decade, though according to her, she’d been doing it unknowingly.
And in just one day, she lost the endorsement she had with sportswear giant, Nike, since she was 11 years old. Also, Swiss watchmaker Tag Heuer and German carmaker Porsche have postponed planned activities with her until the situation becomes clearer. Sharapova possibly facing a two to four year suspension, which will, without a doubt, destroy her career.
She said that the drug had been given to her my her family doctor and had been taken the drug since 2006 for health issues and didn’t know that it had been banned in January of 2015. Her excuse sounds reasonable enough, until you really pay attention and follow what happened.
1. She’d been taking the drug Melodium, which is normally prescribed to angina patients, for 10 years.

Angina patients take this drug because of their heart condition, which caused them to receive insufficient oxygen. But athletes like and take it because it helps their endurance and ability to recover from intensive exercise. That in itself should have been a red light for her.
2. Sharapova said she had been getting the flu (a type of cold) every couple months, had abnormal electrocardiogram readings and had symptoms of diabetes, which runs in her family.

So, if she did, how does a drug for patients with a heart disease relate to her health problem?
3. The World Anti-Doping Agency had sent her an email, on 22 December 2015, informing her of changes to the banned list.

But according to her, she had failed to “click” on the link that would have detailed the prohibited items. That is funny, because if you’re one of the world’s best athlete’s, isn’t it important to check it out the list?
Wow, it seems that most athletes are doping in one form or the other.

According to BBC, it is believed that hundreds of athletes have been using this drug and a lot more cases will become public in the near future. [zkk_poll post=22689 poll=content_block_standard_format_7]

chioma

March 8, 2016

Gist

Maria Sharapova, Serena Williams, tennis
What Happens When A Yoruba Demon Finally Finds The One?

Gather round children!

After decades worth of heartbreak records in the bag and oceans of tears used to starch his demonic Agbada, something surprising happens.
A Yoruba demon finds the one!

But what will he do about it?
Like this Nollywood movie featuring Nigeria’s darling, Odunlade Adekola, this is what he would do.
He rouses from the depths of slumber and looks upon his newly found bae and “guidance angel”.

It must be at midnight, not at any other time! Maybe in better grammar sha.
He resolves to have a change of heart.

And stop all the plans of wickedness and heartbreak he initially had in stock for her.
And with tears of passion in his eyes…

He declares his love for her.
And decides to marry her.

And spend what is left of his demonic years with her.
Will he be haunted by the ghosts of all the hearts he has broken? Will his true colours shine through that dazzling agbada of his? We wait!
[zkk_poll post=22623 poll=content_block_standard_format_8]

Maryam

March 8, 2016

Gist

demons, love, Odunlade adekola, Yoruba demon, Yoruba demons
Nigerian Police Are Holding 14 ‘Criminal’ Goats In Their Custody

Apparently, the Nigerian police force in spite of not having adequate space for human detainees, have started arresting animals.

Will these goats be detained with other humans?
What offence did these poor goats commit?

Were they even lead into their cells in handcuffs?
In the wee hours of March 7, a police patrol team accosted a red Mitsubitshi car around Sekona junction in Osun state.

After the driver of the vehicle refused to stop on the order of the police, the patrol team launched an unsuccessful chase of the car, as per fast and furious.
The driver sharply parked the car and escaped before the police could get to him. Unfortunately, these poor goats were found in the vehicle.

The Osun state Police Public Relations Officer, Mrs Folasade Odoro has said the goats will be detained until their owners show up.
But what if the owners don’t come back for their goats?

Are they going to rot in their ‘cells’ like the human suspects who have spent endless years in police detention without any hopes of going into trial.
Will they eventually be charged to court?

And if they are charged, do they have rights to a ‘lawyer for goats’? Maybe they’ll be charged for being animals that were jejely going for a quiet evening ride.
Or they may all end up as endless pots of this…

Or this…

They may never grow up to be as flawless as this goat.

We only have three words sha, Goats Lives Matter!
[zkk_poll post=22533 poll=content_block_standard_format_9]

Maryam

March 8, 2016

Gist

Nigerian, Nigerian goats, Nigerian police, prison
Unilag’s Best Graduating Student Ayodele Dada Gets Offered A Luxury Apartment

Ayodele Daniel Dada, the first Nigerian to ever graduate with a perfect CGPA in the country’s history has been granted a luxury apartment by Sujimoto construction.

Last week, we shared his story with you and Nigerians have been inspired by how he came out on top in spite of the several challenges students face in the country.
The 29 year old scored As in all the courses he offered in the University and participated in a lot of social activities while at it.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BClNYLzxLwF/?taken-by=daddyfreeze
Upon learning of Daniel’s story and meeting with him, popular OAP Freeze spoke out and in his words: “Ayodele Daniel Dada is the 1st Nigerian in 54 years to get a perfect CGPA. My question is, how do we encourage him, and most importantly channel the minds of the forthcoming generation into the realization that our intellectual ability is the driving force behind innovation, which in itself is our greatest asset? How do we dissuade the next generation from the teachings of many pastors, who ‘Barnum’them, by selling the idea of a ready made financial miracle, for 10% of their current income?”

And Daniel’s academic excellence didn’t make things automatically easy for him.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCiv8doxL-2/?taken-by=daddyfreeze
Freeze went on to inform Nigerians of his accommodation challenges also imploring successful Nigerian companies to help invest in Daniel’s intellectual potential.
In an awesome turn of events, Freeze personally reached out to the CEO of Sujimoto construction, who was responsible for providing a luxury apartment for Olajumoke.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BClNYLzxLwF/?taken-by=daddyfreeze
Although controversial musician, Dencia was reported to have offered to help with Daniel’s rent, the enthusiastic CEO of Sujimoto, Sijibomi Ogundele, was quoted to have said: “Never again in the history of this country would the talent of a young man/lady be left without helping him attain his full potential”.
Daniel is an example of Nigerians who continue to shine through and excel in whatever field they may be. We hope his genius potential is tapped into for the development of the country.

Maryam

March 8, 2016

Gist

Nigerian students, Nigerians, Unilag
The Kenyan Lady Who Photoshopped Her Way To China Gets To Actually Go There!

Remember the lady who loves to travel around the world via photoshop?

Her name is Sevelyn Gats and she likes travelling a lot and meeting new people, including celebs and politicians.

For her latest adventure, she photoshopped herself from Kenya all the way to China!

And now, it turns out that her dream will come true after all!
Sam Gichuru is one of Seve’s admirers. He shared a Facebook post to show it.

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I admire this lady, about 10 years ago, I did a PowerPoint with photos of who and where I wanted to be, car, house,…
Posted by Sam Gichuru on Friday, March 4, 2016 He was so impressed with her gumption that he began searching for a way to get her real tickets to China!
Unable to afford the money for Seve’s ticket to China, Sam cajoled his friends into donating money and flyer miles for her trip.

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Dear Seve Gat’sFriday 5.Today, I wished I could buy you a ticket, but I can’t afford it, the good news is I have…
Posted by Sam Gichuru on Friday, March 4, 2016 He said, “I wished I could buy you a ticket, but I can’t afford it, the good news is I have friends, many friends…
So, I have harassed all my friends, so much, I think I have lost half of them, but they are amazing people. I’m collecting frequent flyer miles and commitments. If you were serious, I mean really serious, I have good news for you, get your passport ready because your dreams are about to come true. Hope this Facebook post finds you. Get in touch.”
Seve did get in touch, and the rest they say is history.

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Posted by Seve Gat’s on Saturday, March 5, 2016
Sam and other benefactors raised enough in cash and kind for Seve’s trip to China, including accommodation (4star), travel insurance and pocket money and a visit to the Kenyan embassy in Beijing to meet the Kenyan Ambassador to China (they’re working on making that happen).
So, people, your dreams can become a reality!
[zkk_poll post=22334 poll=content_block_standard_format_11]

chioma

March 7, 2016

Gist

china, Kenyan, seve gats