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General | Page 8 of 15 | Zikoko!
  • 6 Saving Situations Young Nigerians Will Understand

    6 Saving Situations Young Nigerians Will Understand

    Let’s throw it back to economics class in secondary school. Right before the voluminous notes you had to write got you wondering if education was really necessary. You’d remember your teacher telling you, “Human wants are unlimited and the resources to actualise these wants are limited, so scale of preference comes into play.”

    At that point, you probably thought it was an easy thing to do. Get money, save some, and spend the rest. How hard could it be? Well, how’s that working out for you now? If you are like a lot of young Nigerians, struggling with finding a balance between saving and spending money, this is for you:

    When Salary week approaches and you make your budget

    http://gph.is/2fXdoEu

    You’ve been told that anybody serious about saving money needs to make a plan of how their income will be used. You are serious, or at least, you think so, prompting you to download all the budgeting apps you can find and also using the good ol’ pen and paper to plan how you are spending your next salary.

    How you look at the credit alert on your phone when it enters:

    http://gph.is/29eLH7g

    Salary has finally entered, and for a moment, you feel on top of the world. Then you start coming back to reality with one thought in mind; the money is yours, but really, it’s not yours.

    When you remember all the debts you owe:

    http://gph.is/2kcMo6h

    Somehow, you forgot all the people you owe money when you were making your budget and the only time you remember is after you’ve come back from the initial excitement of getting your salary or when they start sending you subtle but not-so-cryptic messages.

    When your charger spoils and you wonder if deviating a little from your budget will affect your saving goals

    http://gph.is/1QTsrq3

    Because unexpected expenses make constant appearances in the adulting financial world, something you’d not planned to spend money on but you need will become a situation. First, you do the ritual of debating if you should stick to your budget, but deep down, you know it is futile.

    When you see calls from your younger siblings, knowing what those calls are about

    https://gph.is/2NSRAeJ

    Elder brother/sister duties don’t come with breaks. Your siblings can call you any time, but they prefer the end of the month calls, which is a problem for you and your plans.

    After you’ve spent a little more than your budget

    http://gph.is/1cJyCx4

    Life has happened to you again and the money you thought you had has become something of recent memory. Now, the remainder is only enough to get you through the month. You may have failed this month, but we go again next month.


  • ASUU Have Threatened A Fresh Strike, And This Is Why

    ASUU Have Threatened A Fresh Strike, And This Is Why

    Every grown Nigerian knows about ASUU and their hard-earned reputation. No judgments here; everybody must be known for something. At this point, ASUU or the news of any of their strikes shouldn’t really be news, but because these things affect hundreds of thousands of students, we can’t get that wish.

    So what is it this time?

    Err, how do we say it? As you may have guessed, it’s about money again. When is it never? So, the Federal Government would like ASUU to come aboard the Integrated Payroll and Personnel Information System (IPPIS) to receive their salaries from the government.

    Easy-Peasy, right? Apparently not!

    ASUU has kicked against the directive. They have their reasons, though. During a meeting with the Senate on Monday, ASUU National President, Mr Biodun Ogunyemi listed the following as some of the reasons they think the payment system is a “scam.”

    • The IPPIS  lacks constitutional backing; neither is it supported by any Act of the National Assembly.
    • The system does not capture the remuneration of staff on sabbatical, external examiners, external assessors, and Earned Academic Allowances. It does not address the movement of staff as in the case of visiting, adjunct, part-time, consultancy service, which academics offer across universities in Nigeria.
    • The system may affect some of the processes involved in promotion exercises, especially the payment of arrears.
    • The payment system will also inhibit universities from employing staff on short notice because if the system is activated, such staff may not be paid until cleared by the Office of the Accountant General of the Federation.
    • He may or may not have also said that the IPPIS is a threat to national security.

    In summary, their arguments revolve around the fact that the payment system the Federal Government is bent on introducing will make it a pain to get paid for their work. But can’t they sit with the Federal Government and talk like grown-ups? That seems to be a way that works, isn’t it? I don’t know if that has happened or if it will happen, but at the moment, the FG is going through with the October 31 deadline, and ASUU is threatening to go on strike the moment that happens. 

    Of course, Nigerians have reacted to this on Twitter, and no one seems to understand ASUU’s concerns and no one is standing with them.

    Woah! Looks like ASUU is on their own with this one.

  • We Loved The 2019 Ake Festival!

    We Loved The 2019 Ake Festival!

    For some people, the best time of the year is Christmas, for others, it’s the new year and all the renewed hope it brings. Clearly neither set is Nigerian, because what is a Christmas or a new year when the Ake Festival is right over here, looking to brighten your whole life.


    The 7th edition of the Ake Arts and Book Festival held at the Alliance Française Mike Adenuga Centre which everyone always pronounces the correct way. Yay to Primary 4 beginners French finally getting some exercise.

    This years Ake had the theme – Black Bodies, Grey Matter and there was so much to see and experience, I may have gotten mild whiplash from flipping my neck so much, trying to get a good look at everything.


    Here were some of my favourite highlights.

    Guests.

    Remember our article about what to wear to the Ake Festival? When we say this year’s guests took it to the letter and then some? Just look at some of the gorgeous attendees.



    If you were at the Ake Fest and you’d like us to hail your lewk, make sure to tag us on your social media platforms, we’re everywhere.

    Grub!

    Courtesy, TheKitchenButterfly’s brilliant Eat The Book session.

    Sterling Bank, a major sponsor of the 2019 Ake Festival did the absolute coolest thing to take the Ake experience to a whole other level with The Village Arena by Sterling.

    They had hostesses in traditional wear standing outside to direct guests, perhaps in line with this year’s theme of Black Bodies and Grey Matter, perhaps to gift us a little eye candy for the road, either way, I’m not mad at it.

    The inside had checkers, Ayo, free laali Check our editor’s piece – Ope Adedeji, who also did a great job moderating a panel.


    It also had a never-ending supply of tamarind, zobo and palm wine. I’m not one to report myself, but my tongue has been sporting a permanent blue-tongue since Thursday.

    Just look at my tongue here!

    Their zobo was too litty!

    For the first time ever, there were also food vendors at Ake. There was rice, shawarma and amala in whom my fupa was very pleased.

    Books.

    Panels, Interactive sessions and Side-shows.

    Food is great, drinks are divine and guests are fabulous, but you know what was absolutely fantastic? The meat of the Ake Arts and Book Festival – the panels, book chats interactive sessions, concerts and performances.


    The festival started with a culture journalism workshop sponsored by NewsCentral. Heavyweights in the industry like Nichelle Smith of USAToday, Gary Younge of The Guardian and  Adrian Harewood, anchor of CBOT’S CBS News took Nigerian journalists on topics ranging from historical investigative journalism, to finding the story in everyday life events to the basics of conducting interviews.

    There were panels on topical issues like sexual violence, body modification and social acceptance, gender binaries, religious extremism, the Nigerian brewery sector etc.

    I wish I could explain to you how fantastic these were, but you had to have been there. Literally.

    There was an interactive session on filmmaking I absolutely loved, handled by Funa Maduka, a former Netflix director. A one-man play given by Tope Tedela called Whumanizer, electrifying performances from Fokn Boys, Dwin The Stoic, Ibeji etc.

    Then there was the gallery!

    Works were displayed by Niyi Okeowo, Etinosa Yvonne, Hakeem Salaam and Halima Abubakar.

    In all, the 2019 Ake Festival was truly unmissable and just as unforgettable. Here’s to next year’s!


  • 5 Things People Who Fear/Hate Dogs Will Find Relatable

    5 Things People Who Fear/Hate Dogs Will Find Relatable

    You’ve tried to like them, or at least, you’ve tried to be comfortable around them, but something about what many people think are cute pets puts you on an automatic lets-know-what-we’re-doing mode. I get this, which is why I decided to write about your (probable) experience with the so-called man best friend.

    The first question you ask anyone in a house you’ve never been is if they have dogs

    https://gph.is/2RJKHKE

    You hate surprises, especially when they come in the shapes of dogs. You ask the questions in the hope that the answer will be no. and if it is yes, the dog or dogs better be chained.

    You are not ashamed to use humans as shields against them

    Usually, when you see a dog coming in your direction, you scout for the nearest and quickest exits. But this is something you can’t do if you’re with someone, especially if they see them for only the harmless pets that they are. So, you do the next best thing to do – you hide behind them and let them guide you out of the bleak situation.

    The only thing you hate more than dogs is people who try to convince you that they don’t bite

    http://gph.is/2EEAE42

    You can tolerate that some of your friends loves dogs and even keep them. Where you draw the line is the moment they invite you to pet them because they don’t bite. You try to remain calm and keep all the vileness building in you inside, but you’re already thinking if that is the last time you will be seeing them.

    You think every dog that so much as bark at you is out to get you

    As far as you are concerned, dogs only bark when they see a new target who could be their next meal depending on how fast the victim can run. So yes, just a bark is enough to unlock the sprinter in you.

    You promise to get over yourself but you also know that’s never going to happen

    You’ve tried to grow to be more confident around dogs, but the sight of one 50 metres away revert you to the person you are. You’ve given up on every possibility that they may not be dangerous as everyone likes to tell you. As long as they have fangs, and could infect you with rabies, you can never be cool with them.

  • 4 Things People Who Liked To Resume School Late Can Relate To

    4 Things People Who Liked To Resume School Late Can Relate To

    For many people, the start of a new school term was something to look forward to. The excitement to start a new class, the eagerness to use new textbooks, and of course, school also meant a lot of people got a long-ass break from being the grumpy in-house maid. And there was you who liked to add a week to your holidays. You didn’t feel the urgency others felt to return to school, you would be there for the remainder of the year, so what was the rush?

    Now is the perfect time to remind you of everything you faced whenever you eventually decided to “show your face”.

    The struggle to get a seat

    Your mates had been moved to a new class, and the early birds seemed to have taken all the good spots. Your friends, who you had hoped would help you get a seat, sly you. It meant doom because you had to take wherever was available, which could be the one spot with a direct view of the teacher.

    Your friends had moved on from you

    The minds of children are fickle, and your first experiences of that were during your secondary school days. It turned out that the people you thought were your friends really couldn’t give two shits if you came back. It was one thing for them to have new seat partners, and another thing for them to have settled into a life without you in it.

    There was a mountain of work to catch up on

    Yes, this was a given. Nobody was going to wait for you before serious work started. It’d been only a week, but there were series of class works and assignments already. And of course, the hardest part of it all was the notes you had to copy. When you got to the senior class, this became even more of an inconvenience because, biology and economics.

    But none of this mattered because you were the flyest

    New term, new school bags, uniforms, and shoes. The others got the same new things, but theirs didn’t count as new anymore. Yours were the newest and you couldn’t be caught un-fresh. The tardiness may be a thing your teachers hated, but your drip was forever.

  • We Stan: Google’s Tribute to Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti

    We Stan: Google’s Tribute to Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti

    Google is paying homage to Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti today by celebrating her posthumous 119th birthday with a wonderful doodle by Nigerian-Italian artist, Diana Ejaita.

    Here’s what you need to know about such a great legend, who once pursued a king from his throne:

    Early Life:

    • She was born on October 25, 1900 in Abeokuta, Ogun State, Nigeria; and was christened as Francis Abigail Olufunmilayo.
    • She was the first female student in her secondary school, Abeokuta Grammar School, which she attended from 1914 to 1917.
    • She later went on to study at Wincham Hall School for Girls in Cheshire, England from 1919 to 1923.
    • Afterwards, when she returned from England, Madam Kuti stuck to her heritage by giving high preference to her Yoruba name–Funmilayo.

    Activism:

    • As a believer of equal rights for women, Funmilayo was instrumental in educating women; she organized literacy classes classes for women and established a nursery school in the 20s and 30s, respectively.
    • She created the Abeokuta Ladies’ Club (ALC) for educated women in 1942. She also started the social welfare for market women club to help educate working-class women.
    • Regarded as the Lioness of Lisabi, Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti led a protest in the 40’s against arbitrary taxation on the Egba people; this evetually led to Oba Ademola II’s abdication of his throne in 1949.
    • Funmilayo was a cultural ambassador, ensuring that she was always clad in traditional outfits every time.
    • She was part of the delegation, as the only woman, that laid a formal complaint in 1947 for the colonies. She also partook in the negotiations of Nigeria’s independence.
    • She was the first woman in Nigeria to drive a car and ride a motorcycle.
    • Funmilayo was also an Oloye of the Yoruba land, holding a chieftaincy title.

    Offsprings:

    • She was the mother of the late afrobeats legend, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, and aunty to, Nobel Laureate, Wole Soyinka who also followed in her footsteps as social activists. Apparently, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
    • Her other sons, Beko Ransome-Kuti, Olikoye Ransome-Kuti  were also renowed professors and Mnisters of Health and Education in Nigeria before their deaths.
    • Her grandchildren Femi Kuti and Seun Kuti are also well recognized and highly respected worldwide for their role in the musical world in Nigeria and the world over.

    Even More…

    • Her father, Ebenezer Sobowale Thomas, was a son of a returned slave, from Sierra Leone, who discovered he was from Abeokuta and decided to return to his hometown after he became Anglican.
    • Funmilayo’s husband, Reverend Israel Oludotun Ransome-Kuti, was an activist as well, although not as fierce as she was. He was one of the founders of the Nigeria Union of Teachers and the Nigerian Union of Students, which are amongst the strongest organizations in the educational system in Nigeria.
    • She died in 1978 after being thrown from a second floor window during a military attack in Fela’s compound.
  • Border Crossings In West Africa, Ranked From Most To Least Stressful

    Border Crossings In West Africa, Ranked From Most To Least Stressful

    Crossing any border can get very tedious, but West African borders rank the highest on the spectrum because the process can drive you up the wall (most times). We’ve been travelling around West Africa by road and so far, we’ve had 9 border crossings. I decided to rank them from the most stressful to the least one.

    • Ivory Coast to Liberia

    For us (the Jollof Road team), this border crossing wasn’t difficult in terms of the bureaucracy. The problem was the bad roads. We couldn’t continue the journey into Liberia because the roads were unmotorable. So we returned to Ivory Coast, and then followed the guinea route in order to get into the country.

    If you ever want to visit Liberia by road from Ivory Coast, avoid the Gbinta border route. But if you think you’re Dominic Toretto, go ahead!

    • Liberia to Sierra Leone

    Crossing this border was a bit of a breeze, but there was one thing. Bad roads. So bad the team had to sleep overnight in Black (the bus) because it got stuck in mud. Make sure you’re driving a jeep wrangler with 45-inch tires if you want to be able to weather the storm that is bad roads.

    • Togo to Ghana

    You will need argent and an “agent” for this one. Why? Z. However, this is not enough to help ease the long process. It will still take about 3 hours to sort out paperwork and to do a vehicle inspection. That’s enough time to reduce your brain cells, but don’t be grumpy, time flies while you’re having fun.

    Ps: If you’re still trying to figure out what argent is, I’ll help. It’s French for money.

    • Benin to Togo

    With the help of an “agent”, it only takes about an hour to cross the border into Togo. But don’t get too excited, because you will have to make some unnecessary payments. Like 1000 XOF, if you have a “virgin” passport.

    • Ghana to Ivory Coast

    The process is simple if you ignore the rude border officers. They follow due process. No fee required. No palms to grease.

    • Nigeria to Benin

    Thanks (but no thanks) to Bubucakes, crossing this border was a walk in the park for us. About two months ago, he ordered the closure of the border to clamp down on illegal trade. And as a result, traffic congestion has reduced.

  • You’re Going To Want Your Johnnie Walker Highball With These 4 Meals.

    You’re Going To Want Your Johnnie Walker Highball With These 4 Meals.

    There’s a classic man inside all of us. It is why classic cars will always be in style and why early 2000s RnB will always have our hearts. Old mostly tends to always be gold.


    From dressing styles, to good old classic music, there’s nothing quite like the evergreen to show us how things are done.
    So when it comes to cocktails, you know you can never go wrong with a timeless classic like the Johnnie Walker Highball Cocktail.

    Just take a look at how the highball is described it on the Johnnnie Walker website:

    Whether served with ginger ale, or soda – a Johnnie Walker Highball is the perfect drink to unwind with. Refreshing and easy-to-drink … the Johnnie Walker Highball is the ideal drink for a relaxed get-together.

    Now if Johnnie Walker says ginger ale and soda are good mixes for the highball, our minds went to the next best thing that goes with drinks — food. What food combinations would go great with said cocktail during a relaxed get-together?  We began to investigate.

    After careful research, we came up with the following dynamite Johnnie Walker highball and food combinations for your consuming pleasure:

    Chicken and Chips plus Johnnie and Chapman.


    We’re not ones to dictate to you what to do, but if you are interested in taking your chicken and chips to a whole other level, just try it with the Johnnie Walker chapman. Try to keep your testimony brief in church after, okay?

    Asun plus Johnnie and Apple.


    See, we particularly loved this combination because where the asun is burning your tongue with the pepper and spice of 10,000 Yoruba ancestors, the Johnnie highball is there to do damage control, giving your tongue the amazing cocktail relief it deserves.

    Jollof rice and the whisky presbyterian.


    We won’t talk too much about this, we’ll only ask one thing. When you want to send your thank you notes, feel free to hit us up on any of our social media pages. You’re welcome in advance.

    Grilled fish and God’s blessing: The Johnnie Ginger Highball.

    Sipping this cocktail is so great, the only thing that can match up with it is something just as used to drinking ⁠— fish. Pro-tip: make sure the pepper in the fish is at its loudest, don’t ask why, just do it! Again, you’re welcome.

    Chicken Wings and The Whisky Soda Highball.


    Now to get this combo right, you’re going to need a lot of chicken wings. One chicken wing per sip of the amazing Johnnie Soda highball. Some people might say this is in excess, but clearly, those people don’t like better thing.

    These are our favourite mixes, we’d love to know how they went for you. Let us know in the comments!

  • If Dino Goes, Who’s Going To Entertain Us?

    If Dino Goes, Who’s Going To Entertain Us?

    Now, I don’t mean to alarm everyone that gets their senate entertainment from Kogi West Senator – Dino Melaye, but there is a chance our guy might be leaving the Senate, come November 16th.

    Remember how back in February, Dino gave us this little show after being declared winner of his senatorial race over Smart Adeyemi of the APC?

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BuSuLGkHNrr/?utm_source=ig_embed


    Well, it would appear this may have been a tad bit premature, much as we love to see him bust a move or two for the gram.

    You see, there were these little things called allegations against him that he may or may not have been involved in a little bit of the riggy-rig in February’s elections.

    Actually, these little things were quite major, so much so that allegations of irregularities, overvoting and non-compliance with the Electoral Act, were brought against him by his closest rival in the elections – Smart Adeyemi. And the courts believed him!

    First the election tribunal led by Justice A.O Chijioke said yep, Melaye did some dirty things during the elections and they weren’t dirty dancing. Then the Court of Appeal cut off the music right before Melaye could give us another monster dance hit, sacking him as the senate representative of Kogi West.

    Now, a new election will be held on November 16th, 2019 to determine who will represent Kogi West in the Senate. Will our favourite insta-thot Dino Melaye have it, or is Smart Adeyemi going to have the final say? Guess we’ll find out.


  • 10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Liberia

    10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Liberia

    There are a lot of untold and unamplified stories about cool people, places and things around West Africa. The Jollof road team visited Liberia recently and made many interesting discoveries. From ATMs that vomit US dollars to meeting zestful surfer boys and girls in surfer haven, we saw it all. Here are some things you probably didn’t know about this Black republic:

    The country operates a dual currency system. They use both US Dollars and Liberian Dollars.

    In 2006, Oprah Winfrey traced her ancestral roots to Liberia. How cool?

    Their Jollof is incomplete without peas, chicken chunks, sausages etc. And just like any other West African country, they claim to have the best Jollof Rice.

    The first female Head of State in Africa is Liberian. All hail Lady Ellen Johnson Sirleaf!

    Current president George Weah is a former football star. He was named FIFA World Player Of The Year in 1995 – the same year he won Ballon D’or with AC Milan.

    In Liberia, there’s a town of surfers – a large community of almost a hundred native Liberian surfers called Robertsport home.

    Its capital – Monrovia, was originally called Christianopolis. The name was changed after James Monroe, a former president of United States.

    The country harbours over 600 bird species – a literal bird sanctuary.

    What was once referred to as Monrovia’s most luxurious hotel is now an abandoned building.

    It’s one of the biggest exporters of Iron Ore in Africa.

  • Here’s What You Missed At The Glenfiddich Experimental Maverick Night, Lagos.

    Here’s What You Missed At The Glenfiddich Experimental Maverick Night, Lagos.

    Name us a better trio than music, people and whisky, we’ll wait.

    Just like we thought, nothing beats the combination. Well nothing, unless you take the music and whisky a step further like Glenfiddich did with its Experimental Maverick Night that held in Lagos featuring music mavericks like Femi Kuti, Flavour, Bez and The Compozers. The event held at The Balmoral Convention Centre, Federal Palace Hotel, Lagos.

    We cannot begin to explain how great the night went, but we’re going to try. Here’s a little re-cap of some of our favourite moments from the Glenfiddich Mavericks Experimental Night:

    But first the guests.

    When we say everyone came correct to witness the night’s performances! Now speaking of those performances:

    1. Femi Kuti’s electrifying performance.

    If for any reason, you may have been doubting Femi Kuti’s legendary, status, his performance at the night was enough to shut any naysayers up. Even better, his son Made who is a part of the maverick’s band – The Positive Force performed on stage with daddy. We love!

    2. Flavour’s unmissable flavour!

    Watching Flavour perform live is one thing, watching Flavour perform live with the magic of Glenfiddich’s whisky in the mix is a whole other ball game. Did anyone say fun raised to power 10?

    3. OMG, who caught Lady Donli’s performance?

    We’re going to say this now for everyone to see, Lady Donli is in a league of her own when it comes to music and if that doesn’t embody the spirit of a maverick, we don’t know what does. Glenfiddich opened eye when she was included to the line-up. Just look at this performance.

    4. One word: Bez!

    We’re still recovering from the magic that was Bez’s performance at the Glenfiddich Experimental Maverick Night. Just look at all that talent wrapped in a poncho and sunglasses. Two shots of whisky for how great that performance was.

    5. The shutdown courtesy Jesse Jagz!

    Rap legend, sibling extraordinaire and all-round maverick – Jesse Jagz brought the heat and then some for the night’s performance. Don’t take out word for it, here’s a little peek for you.

    6. The Compozers.

    As if the night’s events weren’t lit enough, The Compozers decided a little trip down memory lane to the early aughts was just what the perfect chaser to their Glenfiddich whisky, and they were absolutely right!

    Whose performance would you absolutely have loved to witness at the Glenfiddich Experimental Maverick Night?

  • The Border Closures are Showing Nigeria’s Might

    Throughout the year there have been different policies established in Nigeria that have made it’s citizens raise their eyebrows. From the RUGA saga, to the CBN forex ban for milk importation, the border closures, the CBN cashless policy and increased VAT.

    All these got different reactions from citizens but the border closures seemed to be of greater effect, particularly because of the ban on food importation. Considering that most of the food eaten by Nigerians are imported this policy was a hard pill to swallow for many, especially when food prices skyrocketed.

    However, in some twisted way, the whole thing just showed how much economical power Nigeria has been wielding without realizing it; presently, the border closures are greatly affecting businesses in the Sub-Saharan region of Africa.

    Even with the issues of the border closures, the Jollof Road team crossed the Seme border in 15 minutes after getting searched by NDLEA officials often.

    Nigeria, Giant of West Africa?

    Apparently, businesses in other West African regions are complaining about how the full border closures by Nigeria has caused a drop in their revenue, seeing as most of their exportations are made to Nigeria.

    According to Business Insider, even the Chief Executive Officer of Ghana National Chamber of Commerce and Industry (GNCCI), Mark Badu Aboagye explained the negative impact the policy was creating on their country and how something needs to be done to change the status quo.

    Who is the Border Closure Affecting?

    In a time when Nigeria is lambasted for being weak in economical and political power across Africa, it is curious indeed that countries like Ghana, Benin Republic and Niger are begging for the borders to open once more so they can get their economy going as usual.

    It is ironic that while many Nigerians are complaining about the present situation, other West African countries are being bitten hard by the border closures as well.

    However, in the midst of the groanings, some Nigerians believe that this border closure is a way forward, if the government can finesse it perfectly.

  • Five Places To Visit in Ivory Coast

    Five Places To Visit in Ivory Coast

    So far on Jollof Road, we’ve visited four countries. But nothing comes close to the dynamic experience we had while we were in Ivory Coast aka Cote d’Ivoire aka land of Jesus’ 13th disciple.

    So here are four places you should visit if you’re ever in the coastal city. Do it!

    Our Lady of Peace Basilica

    If you don’t stop by this monumental beauty, your trip will be incomplete. Why? Because it’s the largest church in the world. It is located in Yamoussoukro – the political capital of the country and birthplace of Felix Houphouet-Boigny, the first Ivorian president.

    Waterfall in Man

    If you enjoy the view of water cascading down layers of rock or are just a Mami water, this is the place for you. However, to avoid getting overwhelmed by screaming teenagers, pick a weekday to visit.

    Pont De La Victoire

    In English, Pont de la Victoire translates to Bridge of Victory. It is located in Grand Bassam. In 1949, the bridge was constructed to memorialise a women-led march that fostered the rescue of Ivorian nationalists.

    Tai National Park

    This national park was established in 1972. It is located in Bas-Sassandra. It preserves one of the last areas of primary rainforest in West Africa. And in 1982, the park was marked as a World Heritage site.

    Rainforest

    Comptoir Des Artisans

    Comptoir des Artisans is both a restaurant and concept store selling art, jewellery etc. It is located in Abidjan. The restaurant can transport you to France with its fancy cuisine. And most importantly, it’s the perfect spot for the hippies.

  • We Have Inside Gist From The Johnnie Walker and Gordon’s Bar Crawl.

    We Have Inside Gist From The Johnnie Walker and Gordon’s Bar Crawl.

    What did you get up to between the hours of 6 and 10 pm on October 15th? 
    Hustling in Lagos traffic? Having a quiet night in? Topping your dinner with water perhaps?

    On Tuesday, I had the chance to choose from an array of the finest cocktails Lagos has to offer in the Johnnie Walker and Gordon’s bar crawl. This crawl is just a start to the beginning of the Lagos cocktail week happening today and tomorrow (October 16th-17th)

    Here’s what went down!

    Cocktails.

    When two of the biggest names in alcohol whip up a series of cocktails, what kind of drinks do you expect? Sweet, spicy, sour, citrus or herbal? How about all of the above? Johnnie Walker and Gordon’s came strapped with some of the yummiest cocktails on the planet, no cap. I may or may not get have been whispering Johnnie Walker and Passion Fruit in my sleep. 

    Here were some of my favourites of the night:

    These Gordon’s infused cocktails ,OMG!

    Johnny Walker and Chapman.

    And my absolute fave:

    Johnnie Walker and Passion Fruit.

    There was premium grub too.

    If you’d like to know and taste the full list of drinks available, keep reading until the end.

    People


    Remember when we told you to keep your eyes glued to the Eat.Drink.Lagos social media pages? Well, they did a little poll for budding mixologists asking what they’d put in their drinks and these were some of the most creative answers.


    Here were the lucky winners that got invited to the crawl.

    Your face when that Johnnie Walker and Chapman cocktail hits the spot.

    More pictures because everyone came cute and you deserve to see it.

    The Places.

    We got into our party buses and hit 5 spots for the crawl – 

    Noir with lighting from the gods.

    Peep Lala Alakija schooling us on the unmissable cocktails to try for the night.

    The Backyard, where TMXO tried his hands on making the Johnny X Apple cocktail.

    Atmosphere Rooftop where Bella Adeleke killed it with her cocktail mix.

    Voila!

    Signature Lounge where Cocktail bae – Berg showed us why he was the mixologist with the mostest.

    And then Brass and Copper where we ended the night.


    Now you’re probably kicking yourself wondering how you missed the chance to taste all of these bomb cocktails, and I feel for you, I really do. Which is why I’m going to let you in on a little secret – you can get all of these cocktails and a lot more I didn’t list, peep the next heading.

    4. After the party there’s the after-party.

    In this case, the main party.

    The cocktail crawl is just a teaser of what’s to come at the Lagos City Cocktail Week happening today and tomorrow (October 16th- 17th) at the Balmoral Hall in Federal Palace Hotel. We’re giving our free passes on our social media pages, so go and follow @zikokomag everywhere, right now!

    Here’s another picture of the Johnny and Passion Fruit cocktail to get you excited for it! Catch you there.

  • Five Nigerian Foods And Their #JollofRoad Country Version

    Five Nigerian Foods And Their #JollofRoad Country Version

    One meal that connects all of West Africa is Jollof rice. Although we have different names for it and can never agree on who has the best recipe, Jollof rice has overtime become a West African marker.

    However, travelling on the Jollof road, the team discovered that beyond Jollof Rice, we have so many similar meals. They left Nigeria on the 22nd of September and since then, have been to four West African countries: Benin Republic, Togo, Ghana and Côte d’Ivoire. In each country, they’ve discovered so many similarities especially in terms of food.

    It’s World Food Day, so we decided to compile a list of different Nigerian foods and their #JollofRoad country version.

    Eba

    Attiéké (pronounced A-CHE-KE) is a traditional Ivorian dish. Let me tell you, Attiéké and Eba are one and the same. The only difference is that while Attiéké is cooked in tiny lumps, Eba is cooked till it’s a firm dough.

    Eba
    Attiéké

    Pounded Yam

    Igname Pilée (pronounced EE-nyam Pee-lay) is the Beninese version of pounded yam. It is also eaten in some other parts of West Africa. And as the name suggests, it is cooked with boiled yam. And someone’s sweat, possibly.

    Amala Lafun

    Amala is known as Pate de Manioc in the Republic of Benin. Wherever you are, legend has it that every consumer of this epicurean goodness always succeeds in life.

    Okra

    “Le Gombo” is the Ivorian name for Okra soup. It’s also the same name in some other West African countries. The Nigerian and Ivorian version have similar recipes. You either hate it or love it. There’s no in-between. Absolutely no grey area here.

    Ivorian
    Nigerian

    Fufu

    Across all the Jollof Road countries we’ve visited so far, Fufu has been the most common. It’s usually accompanied by different soups that are specific to each country and as a result, the taste is never the same.

    Watch the Jollof Road team tell us about some of these foods:

  • This Is For Everyone Who Lives In A Flood-Infested Area

    This Is For Everyone Who Lives In A Flood-Infested Area

    So many things happen when it rains in Lagos; traffic becomes a lot madder, NEPA, or whatever they call themselves now take light, you are forced to cancel the meticulous plans you’d made, but these are nothing compared to watching the water level in your house rise into a raging sea, making you wonder if there is an ark somewhere you should get yourself to before God wipes the world a second time. This is prevalent in one side of the city, but with the amount of rainfall in recent weeks, coupled with bad drainage system and overall poor planning, anybody on either side of that bridge could be dealing with this.
    This is for you if you’d dealt with this or dealing with this. You should know that you’re in our thoughts.

    The earliest signs of rain plunge into despair

    First, you don’t understand why it’s still raining – it’s October already, isn’t it? You can’t possibly stop it, so you pray for light rainfall. At the same time, you start looking for the highest ground level in your house– a sanctuary to keep most of your important stuff.

    You become quite handy with cleaning kits

    You are not so big on cleaning, but your circumstances have forced you to learn the best ways to use mops, parkers, buckets, and brooms to keep the water out. Of course, they are only effective when the rain and the ensuing flood don’t hit so much. It’s a whole different level when the volume of the water gushing in and claiming your space is a lot more than you or anything can handle.

    You consider a new choice of footwear

    One of the nastiest things you could ever do as a grown-up is to wade knee-deep inside a stagnant pool of water to get around. Surprise – surprise; that is now what you gotta do if you are serious about getting around. The flood of water can’t stop your hustle; you roll your trousers all the way up and ‘swim’. This will be easier if you get a pair of rubber boots or canoe, but you end up buying neither. This is a phase, and it will pass.

    You could be reduced to a squatter for a while


    This happens, especially if you live in one of the worst-hit areas. There is nothing you can do to claim your space as fast as you want. And no, you can’t float on water. With tears in your soul, you pack the few things you need and find shelter at a friend’s. It’s not the best arrangement, but what do you do when man and nature are against you?

    You didn’t think you could love the sun so much


    Nothing makes you really happy than when you notice the sun peeking through the shadows. At this point, you don’t mind any form of heat – you just need to reclaim the land you paid for.

    You begin house-hunting (again)


    Finding a comfortable and affordable house in Lagos is a wild thing. You thought yourself lucky to find your current crib, but you didn’t know there was a plan to morph you into an aquatic creature. You lick your wounds and brace for the heartache you are about to subject yourself to. You need to move fast too, the best time to find a house in Lagos is during the rainy season.
    Most people usually dump the idea after the rain has subsided, and the floods are gone, but if you’ve had enough and really want to move, we wish you all the best in finding an ideal house. May your search be smooth and be free of greedy agents and ridiculous fees.

  • Let GoKada Handle The Stress Of Lagos For You.

    Let GoKada Handle The Stress Of Lagos For You.

    If you check the dictionary for the meaning of ‘stress‘, you might not see the word Lagos, but anyone who has spent more than an hour inside this particular state, knows that the only description that should be there is ‘Lagos’.

    Traffic o, expenses o, trailers o, even the sun in Lagos has plans to kill you — and it is not with enjoyment.

    So how do you manage to stay sane when everything in a state plans to frustrate every fibre of your being? You let GoKada take care of things, that’s how.

    Popular for being one of the pioneering bike hailing companies in Lagos, Gokada has taken things up several notches by introducing new motorcycles, getting better-equipped drivers known as GPilots who have advanced knowledge of driving for enhanced safety, GPS navigation, and optimised customer service delivery and even setting up the GMedic.

    “But how will these make my life in Lagos better?” you might ask. Well, here’s how:

    Gokada bikes will not take nonsense from Lagos roads.

    And this is a fact.

    I am someone, if I have a flight to Abuja for 12 pm, I must have left my house at 7 am to beat the traffic to Muritala Muhammed, who am I?

    A Lagosian, that’s who.

    It’s no secret that the traffic in Lagos is beyond ridiculous. If as an inhabitant of the state, you haven’t spent a minimum of two hours in traffic headed somewhere — while we don’t believe you — just count yourself lucky!

    While cars are stuck in traffic, making their fenders kiss, Gokada bikes have already given them dust, in the safest and securest way possible. Being able to order online, having secure helmets, very reasonable fares and the assurance that your driver is well-trained are the primary perks Gokada has over your regular bike trip.

    So if you’re ready to do fire-for-fire with Lagos traffic, GoKada bikes are your very, very, best bet. And they won’t even let you break the bank.

    Brand NEW Motorcycles!!!

    Before Gokada, the fear of motorcycles was the beginning of wisdom.

    Thankfully, this is not the case with Gokada. Gokada just acquired first-of-its-kind TVS motorbikes and fitted its drivers with Bluetooth enabled helmets allowing for more seamess communication and navigation experience.

    Can you imagine beating traffic in this?! Oh boy.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/B3pB9uYFvfl/?igshid=jlj0uh92pzea

    GMedic will assist accident victims.

    Seeing as safety is the bedrock of the Gokada mission, Gmedic follows through on that.

    A CSR initiative by the company, G-Medic aims to provide first aid assistance to accident victims before transferring them to hospitals for full medical attention.

    What’s even better, this service is entirely free! It promises to be a safe and rapid response to injuries, seeing as it will combine the safety and speed of the GoKada bike ride, to ensure accident victims get the attention that they need.

    So Gokada gives you freedom from road traffic, a safe bike and also, a quick, safe response to accidents. Lagos isn’t looking so stressful now is it?

  • Six Things Only Class Reps Will Understand

    Six Things Only Class Reps Will Understand

    Class representatives are important to lecturers and students. For the lecturers, this role and the person taking it solves most of the problem associated with managing the sheer number of people taking their courses. For the students, they could really use someone to submit their assignments and take the fall for anything that happens.

    It might seem like a good gig to you, and it is – but as they say, it is not a bed of rose. If you currently take this post or have taken it, you will understand this:

    Most of the contacts on your phone are not your friends

    You become a property everybody owns the moment you take the class rep post. This means you need to have everyone’s number to add them to the WhatsApp group. it may not seem like a big deal at first, but it hits when you need some help and you realise that 80 % of the numbers on your phone are people you don’t really have a relationship with.

    When everyone treats you like you’re the enemy

    You are the errand boy – the messenger – but when the lecturer do some shit like giving an impromptu test or bringing the assignment deadline up to a closer date, everybody turns their anger on you  like you had anything to do with it. Sucks.

    When you realise that the lecturer thinks you are available at all time

    You have to deal with your class, but you also have to deal with the lecturer, and that includes having to be at their beck and call. You are on a service to humanity level, so you can’t escape this.

    The accusations (sometimes abuse) you get when someone didn’t get an information

    Do university students like to have someone to blame? And you are an easy target. So, you get all the blame when a member of your class doesn’t get a memo. It doesn’t that matter that you passed the message across all the channels the class uses.

    You wish your phone would stop blowing up

    The life of a class rep is chaotic at best. Your phone has to be on at all times, and the frequent buzz is enough to make anyone run mad. But you can’t. You have a job to do.

    You still have to study for exams like everyone else

    Everyone in your department might know you, but that is not enough to pass you. You still gotta get down to studying. And this is a big challenge because you hardly get the time to do this.

  • Everything That Happened In Côte d’Ivoire

    Everything That Happened In Côte d’Ivoire

    On October 7, we (the Jollof team) headed to Abidjan, Côte d’Ivoire from Cape Coast, Ghana. Our experience in Ivory Coast started off on the wrong foot – arrogant officials at the border at Elubo and then, rude staff at the hotel we lodged at. It felt all too familiar; Abidjan reminded us of Lagos with its striking similarities – from the food to mad drivers, the city had it all.

    In case you missed it, here’s a rundown of everything that happened while we were there:

    We discovered Attieke!

    Attieke is a staple food in Cote d’Ivoire. It is made from Cassava and looks just like Eba, a staple food in Nigeria. The squad tried it with some chicken and you bet it was so good.

    We met so many cool people!

    There was Francis, who let us use his concept store to film; Frederique, who was kind enough to provide us everything we requested – from a bottle of water to contacts in some countries we’ll be visiting; Stephanie, who was very cheerful and ready to supply us with hot cocoa; and Awa Sanoko – the supermodel whose beauty caused Toketemu to quake in her boots.

    Awa Sanoko, the model

    DJ Arafat fans are the most loyal.

    We attended a memorial for DJ Arafat, the singer who died in a bike accident two months ago. There, we met a super fan who quit his job and now lives at a shrine where he keeps a candle burning for the deceased Ivorian star.

    Comptoir Des Artisans the Restaurant Cum Concept Store

    You should visit Comptoir Des Artisans if you’re ever in Abidjan. It doubles as a restaurant and a concept store. We had an interesting conversation with our hosts about the Fashion scene in the country and compared it to other West African countries.

    Nearly died when we saw the price list at one restaurant:

    The price menu for Aboussouan – a fancy restaurant, nearly gave some of us heart attacks, so the gang opted for street food.

    Aboussouan’s price menu
    https://twitter.com/zikokomag/status/1182047213683429378

    A Neighbourhood Called Biafra:

    In a neighbourhood in Abidjan called Biafra, Fu’ad went on a mission to find an Igbo speaking Nigerian that could tell him the history of the district, but was unsuccessful. How frustrating!

    At the Basilica of Our Lady of Peace…

    Toketemu wasn’t allowed in here, the largest church in the world located in Yamoussoukro, for wearing a “short” dress, so a good Samaritan gave her a headscarf to tie around her waist.

    Before
    After

    Jesus’ 13th Disciple lived in Yamoussoukro

    We discovered that on a stained glass window at the Basilica, Félix Houphouët-Boigny – the first Ivorian president, had himself painted at the feet of Jesus.

    What’s a trip without going close to a body of water?

    Our visit to the Waterfall in Man, Cote d’Ivoire, was a bit of a damp squib as some teenage rascals made lewd comments at Toke and Tosin.

    Mann Waterfalls

    That’s it, folks! If you don’t want to be diagnosed with a severe bout of FOMO, keep following the #jollofroad journey on our website, Telegram Channel and Youtube.

  • This Is For You If You’ve Been Debited For An Unsuccessful ATM Transaction

    This Is For You If You’ve Been Debited For An Unsuccessful ATM Transaction

    Has anybody ever wondered why Nigerians are at the chilliest they can be on ATM queues. There may be grumbles and all when someone is taking too long with the machine, but nobody tries to take your place for the most part. But that’s not the deal right now.

    The ATM is cool and all, but since it’s electronic, errors happen. It could swallow your card and refuse to return it — but that’s not really a problem because you’re sure to get it back. The problem is when some shit happens and you get a “transaction failed” prompt, but your bank has debited your account. Mistakes like this happen — sure, but this is Nigeria — you might not get that money back. This slaps different if you were just about to withdraw your last card.

    If this has happened to you, then you probably went through this:

    You Waited To See If It Would Be Reversed

    You were in disbelief, but your hope was still strong. You found a space in the ATM  gallery away from the rest, eye fixed on your phone and switching between your messaging and banking apps, hoping that you would see that your beloved funds had been reversed.

    You Weighed Your Options

    Your math might not be the best, but you didn’t need it at that point to realise how fucked you were. You made mental notes about your financials, and the only thing you arrived at was how badly you needed that money.

    You Left The Booth And Moped All The Way Home

    You’d spent too much time at the ATM, and you were beginning to get weird stares. You left the gallery and headed home with a heavy heart. The tears were not rolling down your face, but you could hear your heart weeping.

    You Took It To Twitter

    You needed the money, but you were not about to waste a lifetime in the bank. You explored other available options and saw that Twitter was the next best thing to do. You really wanted to drag them and drop scathing remarks on their TL, but that wouldn’t t help you recover your money. So, you sent them a DM, waiting with bated breath to see if they would respond. They did.

    You provided everything they asked for. You held on tightly to a glimpse of hope until they gave sent you the dreaded words – your money would be reversed after 10 working days. It was funny how it took seconds to debit you but days before they planned to return the money from where they took it.

    You Took It To The Next Level

    10 days passed and your funds had not been reversed. You were done playing nice. You dragged them on Twitter. That didn’t help. You considered going to the bank to fuck shit up. You probably did and even threatened to close your account.

    You Chose The Moral Higher Ground

    One month passed. Then two months. Your money didn’t get back to you. You chose closure and the peace it brought and decided to let the money go.

    Nigerian Banking System 1-0 You. But we move.

  • 12 Picture-Perfect Places To Visit In Nigeria.

    12 Picture-Perfect Places To Visit In Nigeria.

    Let’s do a little math shall we. If there are 36 states in Nigeria, a ton of tourist destinations, 12 months in a year and 1 of you, why exactly haven’t you calmed your nerves and treated yourself to one, two or maybe even twelve holidays in a year? 

    Forget money, this life na one. And because we only want the very best for you, we’ve whipped up a list of 12 of the most picture-perfect tourist destinations the Giant of Africa and the winner in all things Jollof – Nigeria,  has to offer. To make your visits complete however, you’re going to need four things: 

    1. An active imagination
    2. A phone to call your friends with, to get them jealous over how much fun you’re having.
    3. . An amazing camera to capture all the action.
    4. . A great battery life to make sure you never miss a moment.

    Hold your imagination, we have the remaining three wrapped up in one device, the TECNO Camon 12, but more on that later.

    First, let’s check out the most picture-perfect destinations in Nigeria:

    1. Erin Ijesha Water Falls, Osun State.

    Just imagine being present here, taking a photo and having evidence in the highest definition on your phone that you took your bath outside in one of Nigeria’s most beautiful locations. Just imagine.

    2. The Calabar Museum

    Where do we even want to start from with the Calabar Museum? With everything from colonial artefacts to terra cotta antiquity, you’re going to have whiplash trying to capture every angle and every square inch of the museum. Again, we’ve got you covered.

    3. Tarkwa Bay, Lagos.

    The beach, the sun, the ocean? Is Instagram ready for your heat?

    4. Afi Mountain Wildlife Sanctuary, Cross River.

    You visited a forest reserve with endangered species like drill monkeys, chimpanzees and gorillas? High-res pictures or it didn’t happen!

    6. The National War Museum, Umuahia.

    Home to relics of the tragic Biafra-Nigeria War, this is a truly unmissable location in Nigerian history.

    7. Matsirga Waterfall, Kaduna.

    Forget, Nigeria is fine. Just imagine being here and capturing all this beauty. This could be you, don’t trip.

    8. Oguta Lake, Imo State.

    This lake and its adjoining holiday complex are calling you and your family for a nice family vacation. Make sure to carry a great camera along to get all the memories.

    9. Jos Wildlife Park.

    Have I mentioned how very blessed we are in Nigeria? Head on over to Jos with your camera to see it live in action, they even have an elephant!

    10. Olumo rock, Ogun State.

    Giant rock, filled with history and some descendants of the original inhabitants? What’s not to love?

    11. Idanre Hills, Ondo State.

    Warning: no amount of preparation will get you ready for the beauty that is Idanre Hills. Our advice, bring the TECNO Camon 12 along.

    Now speaking of the Camon 12, check out our last location:

    12. The International Institute of Tropical Agriculture, Ibadan.

    This beautiful location was home to the TECNO CAMission camp competition, where the next level features of the newly released Camon 12 were put to the test. Using the superpowers of the Camon 12, 24 unlockers were tasked with the responsibility of capturing low-light, macro and wide angle photos.

    After the eviction, eight people made it to the final where the three best were announced as winners. Their grand prize? A trip to a destination in Europe. Just peep their photos and understand why they won.

    Now don’t fret if you missed the chance to be a part of this competition, there’s always the chance to improve your photography skills and capture all the best moments, in High-Definition no less, using the TECNO Camon 12.

    I mean, just look at:

    If great pictures, long battery life and so much more are features you’re looking for in a phone, the Camon 12 is calling your name, answer it!


  • Let’s Take A Minute To Remember Frank Edoho And WWTBAM

    Let’s Take A Minute To Remember Frank Edoho And WWTBAM

    It all began with a poll.

    But Nigerians wouldn’t have it, because Frank is in a league of his own, right?

    https://twitter.com/TravizTall/status/1183237138093137920

    Of course, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire was the only thing parents didn’t have to force their kids to watch on the NTA network. As someone who begrudgingly watched a lot of the 9 P.M Network News, I know this to be true. And yes, Frank Edoho was the life and soul of the show.

    So yes, people had things to say:

    This automobile analogy >>>>

    Yes, remind us of his powerful use of suspense

    And this

    We couldn’t leave the TV if we wanted to

    This Subtle Shade

    But let’s not forget the greatest moment in the show’s history, and the man that made it happen – Aroma freaking Ufodike

    https://twitter.com/TheShawnife/status/1183299421578153984

    It sucks that WWTBAM is not on our screens anymore, but who knows, someone might just give it a kiss someday and she will wake up.

    In the meantime, Frank Edoho is still making moves.

  • Is An Electric Bike in Nigeria Feasible?

    Is An Electric Bike in Nigeria Feasible?

    Recently, while watching a TV programme, I saw a man being gifted an electric bike in a raffle draw, while I was pretty excited for him, I couldn’t help but wonder how weird this gift was considering the power situation in Nigeria.

    So began the foray of various scenarios in my head:

    Imagine if he was on 3rd mainland bridge and the battery got low while in dense traffic. Is this not gbege liadis?

    How about when he wants to recharge? There ain’t no charging station for that purpose in this country! Even if there was, the epileptic power issues will pose a serious problem.

    Just imagine how his electricity bill will triple once he constantly charges it.

    What of when this electric bike needs maintenance and he takes it to the mechanic? Considering some of these roadside mechanics don’t even know how to repair ordinary Volkswagen’s Beetle how will they maintain his precious bike? Ha!

    Okay, let’s assume he decides to sell it off – because cash flow – who will buy it from him? That thing will tey in his hands o.

    Remember, when a certain senator proposed a bill to import electric vehicles into the country and was laughed out of senate? Yeah, well, he gave his constituents and a patron of his cinema, who was lucky enough to win the raffle draw, this motorcycle. Who is laughing last now?

  • Let’s Have A Chat If You Don’t Like The Dark Mode

    Let’s Have A Chat If You  Don’t Like The Dark Mode

    The dark mode has been on the news for months, each report drawing more people to it. It’s the newest sensation, especially since it took a chunk of coverage in the iOS 13 and Android 10 OS roll-outs, and let’s not forget that it is on Windows 10 and MacOS as well. Quite frankly, it is worth all the hype.

    I mean, look at this.

    Apps are not missing out in the fun and everything it brings either. Twitter has had a dark mode option for some time, Instagram joined the “gang” last year.

    https://twitter.com/mosseri/status/1181361666992115719

    Now, WhatsApp has decided to bless us with this cool feature too.

    Besides its dramatic look and feel, enhancing the aesthetics of your display and all, the dark mode is supposed to be “easy on the eyes” and improve battery life. While these claims are not exactly accurate, they don’t take anything from the transformation the dark mode brings to your devices, which is exactly why people are going crazy about it.

    https://twitter.com/Boiled_Onions/status/1175036289697112064
    I know, right! I know!
    https://twitter.com/daniel__ike/status/1182324530053861376

    However, there are also people like this:

    https://twitter.com/tayatfej/status/1182886947917721603
    https://twitter.com/aanuadeoye/status/1183461155362279426

    I understand everyone has their preferences, but this stuff has already become a dichotomy of sorts, or I wouldn’t be writing this  – something reminiscent of the Lagos Mainland-Island, Nigeria Jollof-Ghana Jollof divide.

    Anyways, I am leaning towards the dark side, so you may think this is biased, but I think if you don’t like the dark mode, it is due to one or more of the following reasons:

    You are scared of change

    You don’t really like change. You feel if something is not broken, there is no need to fix it. Besides, the last person who promised you “Change” turned out to be a huge letdown and is now riding on some next level waves. I respect that. The light mode works well for you, so you want to stick with it forever.

    But just open your mind a little and let the darkness filter in. Believe me, it doesn’t have anything to do with the devil, and it is not going to condemn you to an eternity in hell. It’s just a really cool thing. Embrace it, friend, embrace it.

    You have a different idea of aesthetics

    I can also understand this. How does that saying go again? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If you feel that it is not as aesthetically-pleasing as everyone keeps saying, fine do it your way. But if your mind changes at some point, don’t hesitate to join this team – no judgments here and we’d like to add one more member to the team.

    You feel it’s a bandwagon thing

    You want to like it, but the hype around it makes you doubt if you really want it. More importantly, you think about what that makes you — someone who can’t think for himself and let faceless people on the internet do it for him? So, you have conditioned your mind not to like it. If it is a trend, you’re not jumping on it because you’re different. Leemao. Why so serious, dear?

    You Are Simply A HATER

    Well, I don’t think I need to say anything here. But you should know that I will be praying for you.

    Anyway, while the dark mode is not the best thing since sliced bread, it is a refreshing change. So, some of us will stick to it and enjoy the heck out of it – at least until the next cool feature comes on.

    Cheers!

  • 5 Unusual Places to Get Books in Lagos

    5 Unusual Places to Get Books in Lagos

    Yeah, we’ve heard that Nigerians–Africans in general–don’t read. While awfully stereotypical that narrative is, it is also untrue.

    Just like in any other place, there are individuals who love to read and some that can’t stand the sight of books. However, for those bibliophiles looking for where to buy used books, here are five places you can get them:

    Ikeja-Along Bus Stop:

    Beside the railway line, right under the pedestrian bridge. There are different genres to be found here, including sci-fi, dystopian, suspense, horror, romance and more. Book prices range from N100 to N1000. Yes, we know, that’s quite a steal!

    Ojuelegba Bus Stop:

    You’d find different kinds of used books here, but the book sellers mostly favor self-help books, old editions of fashion magazines, and newspapers. You can also get rare finds, books like Latin history, encyclopedias, Guinness book of record and more here.

    Obalende Bus Stop:

    Also a major bus-stop in Lagos like the other two, Obalende boasts of used book sellers although with fewer sellers and books. Here you’d mostly see African literature, children’s books and a few motivational books. Hardcore literature or classics are a rare find in Obalende

    Egbeda Bus Stop:

    There’s a used book seller by the bus stop, beside a shopping complex, who mostly sells genres such as romance, chick-lit, suspense and crime and the occasional classic. All at low cost, usually from N100.

    Ikeja Bus Stop:

    Yes, Ikeja again! Ikeja bus sop is filled with several used book sellers, some with kiosks, some with just tables and others displaying their wares on the floor. These sellers can be found in the midst of the hustle and bustle of Computer Village.

    Used books that can be bought here include; self-help books, religious books, DIY, motivational, textbooks, fiction, nonfiction, memoirs,autobiographies and more. Prices start from N500.

    You’re welcome!
  • Six Feelings You Can Relate To If You’ve Experienced ASUU Strikes

    Six Feelings You Can Relate To If You’ve Experienced ASUU Strikes

    If you go to a public Nigerian University, then you must have learned to develop a hate-love-hate relationship with ASUU. Strikes are a major inconveniences and shouldn’t be as rampant as they are in our institutions, but ASUU have gone on strike for a cumulative of 3 years since 1999 . See, they have this unending money beef with the Federal Government, and it doesn’t seem likely that it will end soon.

    Speaking about ASUU, it seems another strike is looming. This is news everyone concerned is used to, which is why we think you will relate to this, especially if you’ve wanted one to happen at some point.

    The Subtle Joy When The Rumours Start

    You are not quite sure if the strike is going to happen yet. There is a lot of talk going around, but nothing has been confirmed. Your heart lights up with hope when you hear the news of an imminent congress. And you are right – the only thing that comes after a congress is the announcement.

    The Excitement That Greets The Announcement

    Your prayers have been answered. The association has announced the commencement of a strike – it is even better that it is indefinite. What is the worst that could happen? 3-4 weeks and they will be done. You pack your stuff, laugh into the pages of your books as you stuffed them into your bags and you vacate your campus. It’s vacation time, yo.

    The Ephemeral Satisfaction That Comes After

    You are living your best life. Nothing beats the routine of waking up and realizing that you have no class to go to, no assignment deadline to beat, and definitely no stupid-ass exam to prepare for. When you get to this stage and the strike has not been called off, you should know that things are about to go awry.

    Then, The Restlessness Starts To Kick In

    The first month has passed. Now, you are ready to go back. You are refreshed, so there is no point staying at home anymore. The only problem is that ASUU’s demands have not been met. In fact, the FG haven’t made any attempt to meet with them. You act like you’re not bothered, but deep down, the gbim-gbim in your heart is getting louder.

    The Despair That Follows

    Things have now gotten to a head. It’s been 2 months and still no word from ASUU or the FG –at least not what you want to hear. Every meeting between the two warring parties ends in a deadlock. By now, you are pretty sure another year has been added to your “expected year of graduation.”

    The Eventual Indifference

    You’ve put your hopes several times and they’ve been dashed every single time. You couldn’t do it anymore so you decide to let the chips fall where they may.

    Finally, the two bickering parties have reached a temporary agreement. You can now go back to school. Depending on where you were before the strike, your university will release a new lecture timetable or an examination timetable. Whatever. You just need to get back to school; the grades will sort themselves.

  • Five Places To Visit In Ghana

    Five Places To Visit In Ghana

    Ghana is known for its warm people. Don’t believe me? Ask the Jollof Road gang! Are you visiting Ghana soon? You probably are. Literally everyone is visiting Ghana in December. Here’s a list of recommended places to visit while you’re there: 

    1. Black star square

    The black star square is a public square located in Accra. In 1957, Kwame Nkrumah – former Prime Minister and President, commissioned the construction of the square to celebrate the country’s independence. It was finally completed in 1961 to honour the visit of Queen Elizabeth II. Interesting, right? I know! We visited this beautiful monument and had fun taking pictures. 

    2. Osu Castle

    The Osu Castle – also known as Fort Christiansborg, is located in Osu, Accra. It was built around 1659 by the Danes to initially serve as a site for trading activities. It also served as the seat of the Ghanaian government until 2013. The tour is free and only open to visitors on Fridays.

    Fun fact: Barack Obama was here during his visit to Ghana in 2009

    3. Harley Davidson

    Harley Davidson is an American owned motor company with a showroom in Accra, Ghana. It is the only showroom in Western Africa. If you love motorbikes and are familiar with this iconic brand, you should definitely visit to get rad photos and have a test ride.

    Fun fact: you can find a community of bikers in Accra

    4. Starbites Restaurant

    A sage once said that the best things in life are free. Well, guess what? They lied. Good food isn’t always free. This intercontinental restaurant is located in East Legon, Accra. You should definitely stop by this restaurant if you want to try some bomb ass food that can solve all your life problems.

    5. Bloombar 

    For my nightcrawlers, you weren’t left out. This is a good place to unwind after a long day of sightseeing and doing tourist-y things. You get live music, yummy food and great drinks all in one place.

  • Here’s A Quick Guide To Having The Ultimate Bar Crawl.

    Here’s A Quick Guide To Having The Ultimate Bar Crawl.

    What’s the ultimate go-to for bonding time with your best mates? The perfect reward for a good day at the office? Maybe even a little pick-me-up after a bad one? If your answer is anything but cocktails, we’re going to need you to ease up a bit on this adulting thing friend.

    Now, what better place to get the finest cocktails Lagos has to offer, than to treat yourself to the Johnnie Walker and Gordon’s one of a kind bar crawl happening on October 15th?

    But first, ground rules.

    Eat up before your night out.

    So we have good news and good news. Before heading out to sip some of Lagos’ finest cocktails, have a little food pre-party. Eating just enough food to soak up the alcohol, so grub up!

    Do not over-do it!

    See this girl? I know her, I’ve lived her life and it is not fun, or 18-inch weave friendly. Your belly revolts, trust me.  Might I suggest dropping that cocktail the moment you start to feel the urge to send the fifth risky text of the night? Responsible drinking is the best kind of drinking. Okay? Okay.

    Don’t attempt to be a mixologist.

    For the love of all things sane and sanitary, please stick to your preferred liquor for the night. Does the world really deserve to know what happens when you mix cocktails with red wine and vodka present? I could go the rest of my life not knowing, and so should you.

    Stay Hydrated!

    Another golden rule that I am graciously sharing with you today is ‘one for one’. For every cocktail of the night, have a glass of water. Now go forth and prosper.

    Absolutely do not drive!

    Are we here for a good time and a long time? Yes or yes? The very best thing you can do for yourself is to have a fully charged phone so you can holler at a ride-hailing service as you please, any time of the night. Sober and alive you will thank you the next morning for finally getting this adulting thing right.

    Now that you have the ground rules on check, the next thing is to put your bar crawling knowledge to the test. And lucky for you, Gordons and Johnnie Walker have the perfect testing ground, with their upcoming bar crawl to mark the start of cocktail week. To know how to be a part of the incredibly exquisite cocktail crawl, make sure to keep your eyes fixed on the @eat.drink.lagos pages on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook by 4 pm today for more information.

  • If You’ve Never Been to Mushin, This Will Surprise You

    If You’ve Never Been to Mushin, This Will Surprise You

    Mushin is believed to be one of the roughest areas in Lagos, what with the spontaneous riots, fights and agbero clashes. Yet, ironically, it turns out to be one of the most organized–kinda how you’d expect areas like Ajah to be.

    Yeah, I said it.

    Heading towards Mushin or getting out of the area while using public transport is saner than you’d expect.

    Although, the bus conductors usually jump on and off the danfos at will, giving the drivers minute-to-minute billing; invoice being the number of passengers the freelance conductor gets, then he’s paid after the head count.

    Where you’d expect a frantic ratrace during rush hour traffic, Mushin remains serene. There’s even a queue at the keke napep parks; particularly those for Shitta, Ojuelegba and Lawanson.

    Amazingly, there’s usually no congested traffic in Mushin, as bad as the roads are. Especially in places like Bishop Street Junction, Idioro (plantain & pineapple market), Regina Mundi Catholic Church road down to Olosa bus-stop by Lagos Cheshire Home.

    But, God help you if it rains heavily while your keke napep driver passes those roads with potholes as big as a whale’s mouth.

    If the fear of a massive trailer falling on your head doesn’t kill you then the thought of drinking that dirty, smelly and slimy water when you fall in would.

    Also, don’t get caught during the agbero clashes. Chances are, you will run away and leave your car door open–olori di ori e mu, eni ti ori ba yo o dile(everyman for himself, save your neck)!

    I can’t help but wonder how it’s possible for such a mad place to be even calmer than Obalende.

    Maybe that’s what you get in a place where there are no rules; every fu*k up will be treated immediately.

    Maybe that’s why everyone just maintains an orderliness that belies the madness within.

  • Another Horror Story: Schoolgirls Taken In Kaduna State

    Another Horror Story: Schoolgirls Taken In Kaduna State

    About a week ago, Kaduna State was in the news for a slightly hilarious event. This week, however, they are in the news again for a far more morbid reason.

    What is it this time?

    Various sources have reported the abduction of six schoolgirls and two staff of a private boarding secondary school – Engravers College, close to the village of Kakau Daji in Kaduna state.

    According to the school’s Bursar, Mr. Elvis Allah-Yaro, who spoke to Premium Times the attackers stormed the premises of the school around 12:10 A.M on Thursday. He added that the security personnel in the state are up to speed and intelligence and rescue operations are underway.

    This was confirmed by a police statement that read: “The command is doing everything possible to secure the release of all the victims unhurt,”

    We can only hope.

    Kaduna State is gaining notoriety as a result of the repeated attacks and abductions, especially on the Kaduna-Abuja highway, mostly for ransom reasons.

    This is another reminder of how the security state of the country has deteriorated in recent years. The country is still reeling from the effects of the abduction of the 276 Chibok girls by Boko Haram in 2014. It’s been about 5 years and more than 100 of the girls are still unaccounted for.

    Fingers crossed on this one.

  • The Zikoko Guide To Dealing With Nightmares

    The Zikoko Guide To Dealing With Nightmares

    You have no control over what you see when you sleep. It is funny how dreams work; sometimes, you wake up with a smile plastered on your face. And sometimes, you jolt back into reality with a massive footage of experiences you can live without. Like your landlord decided to increase the rent, or the Canadian Embassy declined your Visa request. You know things like that.

    Pray

    Dear God, show them your power.

    Because nightmares are the manifestation of your enemies village people’s plan on you, there is  a certain person’s blood you would need to cover yourself in and a certain kind of fire you would need a force to rain down on them.

    Call Your Mother

    Hi mum, I think that woman I didn’t greet the other day took it personally.

    I mean, who else is going to give you all the effective prayer points you need to avert the looming disaster? Also, you live a life of sin, so you doubt if your prayers would reach the person you need to hear it. But if it comes from your mother?

    Invoke The Spirits

    No mercy, please.

    You are not sure if the first person you prayed to will treat your matter with the urgency you need. But you’ve been told the spirits don’t have no chill, so they are the perfect forces to bring into this. Besides, Fire and all is good, but lightning and thunder are more effective. Strike ’em down.

    Replay The Events

    Err… What just happened?

    You are at a loss of what the dream means, so you press the imaginary replay button in your subconscious and try to figure out your village’s people plan. You need to know if you are tripping.

    Drink Water, Check Your Notifications, And Go Back To Sleep

    Meh… wouldn’t be the first one.

    Heh, it will take more than a harmless dream to send you off the deep end. If your village people didn’t get the memo, your life in Nigeria is a nightmare already. so, you do what any reasonable person will do; check your WhatsApp, Twitter, or Facebook (if you are still into that sort of thing) before you resume your sleep.

  • Four Words Nigerians Distrust

    Four Words Nigerians Distrust

    There are certain words in Nigeria that automatically get many Nigerians reacting wary when they hear it, almost like it has a different meaning than the original one. This may be because the connotation attached to them are somewhat twisted in the mind of those who react wary.

    What are these words, you ask? They are simply; “excuse me”, “hello”, “please” and “thank you”.

    I know. It seems really strange.

    Until the day you tell a conductor “thank you” and everyone in the bus swerves towards you like…

    Say what?

    Or when you want to ask someone for directions, politely saying “excuse me” and they turn towards you like you’ve just insulted the life outta them

    Or when you proceed to say hello to the person sitting next to you, or on the same queue, in a public area and they look at you like you are a bag lady about to steal their last gold

    How about the time when you actually gist with your servicemen like they are humans and their employers give you a dirty look for what they deem as stooping so low to talk to the help.

    There’s also the angle of the servicemen feeling uncomfortable when addressed politely.

    If you’ve gotten these reactions countlessly it will dawn on you that you might have to explain why you’re being polite; and “just because it’s proper manners” won’t cut it. Most Nigerians feel you are out to get them when you do the right thing, but that shouldn’t stop you from having good manners.

  • Four Reasons Why You Should Hate The Public Transport System

    Four Reasons Why You Should Hate The Public Transport System

    There is a chance that you belong to the “God, when am I going to get my own car”? group.

    Well, I can’t answer that, for obvious reasons.

    I can ask you why you don’t go for the more convenient options of car-hailing services, though. Oh wait, I have the answer; they are either not operational where you live, or you simply cannot afford to take them everyday. Heh, your account balance is a war zone — red everywhere.

    Let me do you a solid and remind you of all some of the ways life can deal with you through this arrangement. I mean, you need reasons to intensify your prayers and double your hustle.

    Rush Hours Are A Pain

    Nobody really gets used to this. The sight of the mammoth crowd at the parks on Monday mornings is enough to give anyone panic attacks.

    You’d been in frenzy since you woke up, hustling to hit the road as soon as you can. At the park, you realise that the jokes were on you because others were thinking the exact same thing.

    So, this is what you meet:

    Now, you have to jostle for a space bus with others that are as motivated as you. Something like this:

    If you are lucky, this could be the end of your commute problems that morning, but sometimes, there are more tears to cry.

    The Rain Doesn’t Rate You

    This is you when it rains and you are tucked safely under your bed covers.

    This is you when you are outside:

    Now, you cannot control what happens. You could try not to get drenched with the constant thought of home in your mind.

    But there is a problem; after a downpour, there are only a handful of operational vehicles — even the bikers will suddenly become choosy.

    This means fares will double. Or you could eventually get drenched if the rains decide to do another round, or worse, a speeding car could splash water all over you to remind you how much your existence sucks. Pele dear, the universe has many ways it could mess with you.

    Sharing Seats Isn’t Really Glamorous

    Taking the bus means you have to share space meant for three people with four or more. But what do you do when you are wedged between two people who take up the space meant for four people? Nothing really, you just have to take it as one of those things.

    Easier said than done, though; I know, I’ve been there.

    Conductors Are A Nightmare

    They make it s hard to like them, don’t they? But they are unavoidable. Because of them, your street sense is always on high alert. If you haven’t had a spat with one of them, then you haven’t really experienced the public transport system lifestyle.

    Imagine going through all the stress to  save money, and one smart conductor think they can hold on to your change. Hell would rain on the day you let that happen, and that’s a cause I could get behind.

  • 8 Things You Can Relate To If You Had A Lesson Teacher

    8 Things You Can  Relate To If You Had A Lesson Teacher

    The idea that you might fail at school is one that every Nigerian parent can never stand. And it won’t happen — not if they can help it. Because they don’t think the 8-5 classes you do, five days in a week is enough, here comes the lesson teacher – their knight in shining armour – to make their dreams come true.

    If you had one of these, chances are that you didn’t like them at some point, so you should relate to one or all of these:

    1. This was you every time they walked in like they owned the place

    Aren’t you supposed to be the help? Act accordingly.

    2. What you were (usually) tempted to say every time you joined them in the living room for lessons:

    3. How you looked at them whenever your mum offered them food and they accepted it:

    Not only are you a nuisance, you are also poor.

    4. The passive-aggressiveness when they call you dumb:

    Well, you are here to make me smart(er), doesn’t that mean you’re failing at your job?

    5. Or worse, if they reported you to your mum:

    Hey, you need to know that snitches get stitches.

    6. Every new assignment had you like:

    Nah, bro, I’ve got better things to do… Better things like nothing.

    7. All the days it seemed like they were not going to make it:

    Look who finally realised that they are not wanted.

    7. But when they eventually came:

    Decent people don’t do that.

    8. When you aced your exams and they tried to take the credit

    Slow down, man. I did all the work.
  • All The Times You Could Have Killed Your Mother

    All The Times You Could Have Killed Your Mother

    I was listening to Nicki Minaj’s “All things go” the other day and the “this life is a movie, but there will never be a sequel” line hit; it’s true, this life no get part two. I’m not writing about our mortality or where we rank in the grand scheme of things; no morbid thoughts this week.

    We have been handed our scripts with the plots, story arcs, and all, ready to have the performance of a lifetime.

    Nigerian mothers are one of the most colourful characters in this packaged entertainment. Their lines are freaking perfect too; with one-liners, you can’t help but admire. Now that I think about it, it is not so much about the lines, but the delivery.

    You must have heard this line, in different variations while growing up:

    I DID NOT KILL MY MOTHER, YOU WILL NOT KILL ME.

    – All Nigerian Mothers ever.

    Flashbacks are effective storytelling techniques in movies, so why don’t we take a stroll to all the probable times you might have heard those recurring lines.

    The Time You Broke A Dish

    In this movie, mistakes don’t happen, especially not from a kid. You were supposed to get yourself together. And who better to remind you of this, than your mother?

    So, all the times you broke a dish or anything, really, you knew your mother was not going to let it go, and for the most part you were right.

    But after the series of reprimands, she would slowed down her roll. And she would say the classic lines, “I did not kill my mother, you will not kill me.” She would ask you if you cut yourself later, but you had to think about what you’d done first.

    The Time You Lost A Younger Sibling

    Your younger siblings came, and your life wasn’t the same anymore. For starters, you became the standard of which their actions were judged. Everything they did was a reflection of your actions. You tried to keep them in control, but they had been given a mischievous character to play, to your chagrin.

    Your job description included keeping both eyes on them and tracking every bit of their movement. God help you if you fail in this task. But you did fail on some occasions and you had to admit that you didn’t know where they were.

    Of course, your mother didn’t find it amusing and out came the verbal onslaught. When your sibling eventually returned home and after she’d confirmed that they were unhurt, she would cast you one of those looks, followed by the lines you may or may not have been anticipating; I did not kill my mother, you will not kill me.

    Ah, this is Timeless: The Time You Let Your Grades Slip

    You were an investment; you had to always bring your A-Game everywhere. They could compromise on others, but when it was about your academics, you had to be at your best. Well, there was this time your grades didn’t fit into their idea of excellence.

    Your father (another colourful character) didn’t understand how you could let it happen, not when he had an impeccable academic track record . Your mother couldn’t understand it, either, but she wasn’t going to stress herself about it this time. If you didn’t get the memo, she didn’t kill her mother, and there was no way in hell that she was going to let you kill her.

  • Happy Independence Day, Nigeria. Regards, 2960

    Happy Independence Day, Nigeria. Regards, 2960

    The year was 2960.


    The country had not yet become a post-apocalyptic wasteland because, at some point, we took climate change seriously. No section of present-day Nigeria had broken off to form a new country. Yes, the unlikely happened. Everyone set aside their differences and came together as a united front. Across the nation, the Nigerian dream meant the same thing.

    All was right.

    There was time, there was money, and the government cared about history and culture. As part of Nigeria’s 1000th Independence Day celebrations, the government greenlit a project that would require digging into the country’s archives so a documentary could be made about the millennium that had passed since we sent the Brits packing.

    Oh, what a project it was. The people involved had a field day with the archival materials they found. They made a film packed with all the things that made a film great – laughter, tears, and WTF moments. The WTF moments were very popular among the audience. Nigeria in 2960 had everything but drama – at least not on the ridiculous scale the country did in earlier times depicted in the film. They found a particular set of characters interesting: the lawmakers.

    In preparation for a sequel, they needed feedback after the screening of the documentary. So they put out a survey to get the parts of the film the audience liked best. And unsurprisingly, the audience was unanimous in its response. They all wanted to see more of the WTF moments. 

    The following moments ranked as the top three moments in the film:

    1) The Fence-Scaling Lawmakers (2014)

    Insanely absurd and ridiculous, the audience wondered how much of a joke politics was at the time if security forces could be deployed to prevent senators from accessing the House of Assembly building where they worked. Even more insane to the 2096 audience was how the senators proceeded to jump the fence, as opposed to returning to their homes and dealing with things in a more respectable manner.

    2) The Mace-Stealing Senator (2018)

    The audience demanded that this particular event get a prequel showing the domino-like series of events that led to it. You see, in 2960, the mace was regarded as a sacred symbol of authority. So the film’s viewers were gobsmacked to find out that back in 2018, a lawmaker masterminded an operation that resulted in the mace being stolen. Then again, his name was Omo-Agege. He was just living up to his name.

    3) Dino Melaye (The Myth. The Legend): 

    The 2096 audience LOVED this guy. He was the one dependable source of comic relief throughout the film. Along with being a terrible lawmaker, he was a perfect entertainer; he could dance and sing. They could handle his attempt at writing a book about fighting corruption. They could even handle the certificate scandals. However, the one thing they couldn’t handle was when he was hit with multiple charges and was suddenly with a crippling illness. The audience found the timing of the illness interesting. If it actually mattered, they would have agreed that the whole thing was a sham.

    They could all agree on one thing, though. The country’s early lawmakers were the literal worst, especially within the first 60 years of independence.

  • ICYMI: More Revelations About Fatoyinbo, #EndSARS, Tacha’s BBNaija Exit

    ICYMI: More Revelations About Fatoyinbo, #EndSARS, Tacha’s BBNaija Exit

    Psst, we’ve got gist. Welcome to the new week by the way, but just in case you missed the happenings over the weekend we’ve got you covered. Here’s a brief gist of some of the hot things you may have missed while you were enjoying the weekend;

    Biodun Fatoyinbo, Senior Pastor of Common Wealth of Zion Assembly, is in the news again for allegedly raping a pregnant woman who is hesitant about speaking up because of her married status.

    This was disclosed by media personality and Editor-in-Chief of Today’s Woman magazine, Adesua Onyenokwu, during her interview with Arise News. She briefly gave an account of her interview sessions with Ese Walters-who accused Fatoyinbo in 2013 of a clandestine relationship with her– and two pastors who were aware of cases similar to that of Busola Dakolo, who accused Fatoyinbo of rape in June.

    Meanwhile, I’ve got to say that I’m shook! I mean, these pastors had heard different accounts about one man and said nothing? And, why does Fatoyinbo keep popping up in the news for the same thing? Surely not everybody will be out to get him,as he claims, the same way?

    #EndSARS has been trending endlessly on Twitter the whole year but this time around people aired their frustrations with the continuous harassment, sharing their experiences on Twitter.

    Even a video made the rounds on the platform, showing a good Samaritan stopping SARS officials from harassing a couple of young men for no apparent reason.

    https://twitter.com/i/status/1178335414232518656

    Okay can we give it up to the man for doing the right thing!

    But, can we just take a moment to deal with the fact that Nigerians have got no chill. Did you hear the people shouting in the background, telling the gladiator to move his car while he was busy defending the defenseless?

    However, I suspect that man is a soldier, that level of confidence towards those SARS officials is on another level sha.

    In another news, Tacha, madam “no leave, no transfer” of BBNaija PepperDem was shown the door after fighting with co-housemate Mercy. She got disqualified for engaging in physical violence with Mercy, who got two strikes.

    What was most amazing to viewers of the show is that she got evicted few weeks to the grand finale, especially because she is known for her mantra, “no leave, no transfer.” But, Biggie couldn’t condone her physical violence so she got the boot even though she had the highest votes and still has fan loyalty

  • Let’s Tell You Where To Go If You Are Ever In Benin Republic

    Let’s Tell You Where To Go If You Are Ever In Benin  Republic

    The Republic of Benin, Nigeria’s next-door neighbour (or sister from another Mother), may be a small country, but there is a lot to experience and discover on a trip there. You have to know where to look and where to go, though. We know (obvs, because we’re plugged into the biggest cultural event right now AKA Jollof Road) so we compiled some of the places that will be well worth your time into an article.

    What are we, if not nice?

    Dantokpa, Cotonou

    Because you are still fresh and your point of entry will be Cotonou, anyway, you should start your waka from Dantokpa. It is the biggest open air market in West-Africa, which means the biggest market in your town has nothing on it.

    You don’t have to look for anything – that’s where the fun is. Just walk around and take in the atmosphere. Talk to the locals, buy stuff, eat the food, and have fun. Don’t be surprised if you hear the familiar Nigerian accent or music blaring from speakers. If you are lucky, you might find someone breaking into zanku that is light-years better than your best attempt. Naija don blow.

    Ganvié

    You probably have heard that Ganvié is the West African equivalent of Venice, but let go of that thought; it is another display of white people’s ignorance about the continent, or anything, really, and their hard-on for imposing their experience on others. If we are really bent on comparison, the next best place to compare this place of water to is Makoko – yes, the one in Lagos. Think of Makoko, but way less shitty. Like Makoko, fishing is like the major occupation the community thrives on.

    Fun fact: Ganvie and Makoko share the coastline, and if you are in for an adventure, hop on a boat across the coastline and you will get to Makoko in about a day and half.

    However, it is still not Makoko. Ganvié is a tourist spot, and you are bound to lose yourself in all the goodness it has to offer.

    The Door of No Return, Ouidah

    We understand that you want to have as much fun as humanly possible, but you could also set out time for some sober reflection.

    Slavery is an important part of African history. Its relics are everywhere across the continent – monuments and structures confirming the exact kind of asshole man can be.

    The Door of No Return is exactly what it means. It was the point where every man captured in the transatlantic slave trade knew they were never going back home. It’s the place where they took their last breath as free men and women. It is where every bit of their identity was forcibly taken away from them.

    Yes. It is an historical and sentimental site. You should make time out to visit the monument.

    Pythons Temple, Ouidah

    This should be your next stop after the Door of no Return because they are within the same proximity.

    Heh, how do the wriggling creatures make you feel? Because this is the perfect time to lose all your fears of snakes. We grow, right? The Pythons Temple is a scared place of sorts. No one fears the creatures here; they worship and revere them. There is a hut housing multitudes of pythons. Now, that’s what you want to see. They have no fangs, nor do they have any interest in hurting you. So, be a dear, put one across your neck and smile for the camera.

    Beaches

    This is a no-brainer. LOL. Benin is a coastal country with many amazing beaches. Find one, or two, or as many as you like and just chill.

    Now you have your perfect holiday in Benin Republic. No need to thank us, that’s why we’re here for you. And oh, by the way, we think you deserve something good, so this is a reminder of sorts: some cool people from Zikoko are on the journey of a lifetime. They’re travelling through 14 countries in West Africa, collecting stories as they go. You can follow them and catch up on what they are up to on Jollofroad.com. You can also catch up on what they are up to on the Zikoko socials.

  • The Zikoko Guide to Having A Great Time in Togo

    The Zikoko Guide to Having A Great Time in Togo

    The most interesting thing about travelling is the prospect of soaking in new cultures and experiences new places, landmarks and people. Zikoko is here to help you with that. This short guide will help you find the best places to be if you ever find yourself in Togo

    The Grand Marche

    This is Lome’s melting point for all kinds of market experiences. It is the place you feel the familiar entrepreneurial pulse Africans are known for. It just might remind you of home.

    First things first: there are two portions of the market – the indoor and outdoor, so prepare your mind for a long day of navigation. The chaotic but strangely fun atmosphere of the market will give you all the goosebumps you need. There are a ton of stuff to buy too, just make sure you have the bag and the energy to carry them, because… well, there are other places to visit.

    The Lome Cathedral

    Your next stop should be the cathedral. It is actually surrounded by the market, so its towering frame should have caught your attention during your time in Grand Marche. Built in 1902, it is a relic of the country’s German colonial history. Yes, Togo used to be a German colony.

    The bright red and white colours of the exterior make for great aesthetics for the eyes to see, and the ambience of the interior, which is in sharp contrast to the bustle of the market is something the mind should experience – the calm after the storm.

    Monument de l’Independence

    This is a beautiful and striking representation of the end of the colonial rule in Togo and a new beginning for the country. Perfect for aesthetic purposes; it is something that should be sitting pretty in your phone’s gallery or your camera’s storage. 

    The National Museum

    Is a trip to a new country complete without visiting the National museum? The museum can be found inside the Palais de Congress with the 1960s architecture to admire. It is quite small, but it is the place to go if you would like a quick rundown of Togo’s history – both cultural and colonial. Just make sure you find a guide to interpret the significance of the artifacts.

    There is a payment attached before entry, and you can’t take pictures of the artifacts or anything you see inside the complex. This shouldn’t be a deal-breaker, though, don’t you think?

    The Beach, Yayy!

    Unless you have a crippling fear of large bodies of water and the waves, the beach should be on your to-do list. There are numbers of beaches in Lomé and finding them wouldn’t be difficult. Find a good one, especially one close to a restaurant or a hotel. But if you are all about adventure and living dangerously, any nice one will do. Just be safe.

    Cascade de Womé, Kpalime

    Ha! Waterfalls! They make for breathtaking views, don’t they? Well, there is one to literally soak in, in Kpalime. It has to be nature at its finest what with a cool ambience and the potential of taking a quick dip in the water. 

    Mount Agou

    In the spirit to do some hiking? Then you should make time for Mount Agou. It is the highest mountain in Togo at 980meters, which makes it relatively easy to get to the summit. The locals are friendly, so take time out to talk to them.

    Now you have your perfect holiday in Zikoko. No need to thank us, that’s why we’re here for you. And oh, by the way, we think you deserve something good, so this is a reminder of sorts: some cool people from Zikoko are on the journey of a lifetime. They’re travelling through 14 countries in West Africa, collecting stories as they go. You can follow them and catch up to what they are up to on Jollofroad.com. You can also catch up to what they are up to on the Zikoko socials.

  • Top Three Yoruba Musicians Of 20th Century Nigeria

    Top Three Yoruba Musicians Of 20th Century Nigeria

    Your first taste in music and your overall music experience while growing up was probably defined and influenced by your parents’ taste in music. My parents had a huge catalogue of Yoruba music in their rich and different variations; mostly Sakara, Apala, Fuji, and Juju. I mean, an entire section of my dad’s catalogue of Yoruba music is a massive collection of these CDs and Cassettes. I wonder how much they are worth at the moment.

    It’s interesting that when I think about the music in this category, I think about them with fondness, when as a child, I would rather listen to something else. It’s only now that I realise how iconic these musicians and their work is. I can’t go back to the car drives with my dad where all he played was fuij and juju music, but thanks to music streaming platforms, I can always re-live some of these moments in my head.

    If your parents are anything like mine, you should know these people, and the epic work that they did. I have to confess; the list is made up of my personal favorites — there are scores of others I’m leaving out. Oh, I almost forgot to add. If you were born later than the late 90s, chances are that you missed out on this experience. Sad, I know.

    Yusuf Olatunji

    His brand of music was the Sakara genre and he is the GOAT. If you are all about the sweet boy life, then Baba Legba (as he was fondly known) is for you. His music is perfect for an weekend, evening car spin. Increase the volume of your speakers, nod your head to the rhythm, and whistle in sync with the lyrics as if you have no care in the world.

    https://youtu.be/0CKyNN9g1bM

    Musiliu Haruna Ishola

    His father, Haruna Ishola popularized the Apala genre and is considered one of the greatest to run in the Apala game. The genre, however, lost much of its appeal until Musiliu Haruna Ishola came into the fold and spearheaded the resurgence of the genre. His revitalisation attempts gave the genre a new vibe that appealed to the audience of that time.  If you have any memory of this guy, his 2000 monster hit, Soyoyo should come to mind. I can’t think of a perfect description for the album, but I know it is the work of a guy marking his territory.

    https://youtu.be/DBQzN3n_rwM

    Sikiru Ayinde Barrister (Alhaji Agba)

    How can you be Yoruba or Nigerian and claim that you have never heard of the Fuji genre? Fuji is unarguably the most popular traditional Yoruba music in recent times; there are even different variations of it. Everybody keeps trying to add their own touch to it.

    There is no way to ever forget the impact of Alhaji Agba, or doubt his relevance within this genre. The man released over 60 glorious albums before he died in 2010. Among the various bodies of work I was exposed to growing up, Fuji Garbage is my personal favorite. It’s music that should have its own dance (the way all music seems to have their own dance today).

    https://youtu.be/ArneW82lcW4