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General | Page 3 of 15 | Zikoko!
  • Stanbic IBTC Pension Managers Spearheads Empowerment And Development For Nigerian Women

    Stanbic IBTC Pension Managers Spearheads Empowerment And Development For Nigerian Women

    Stanbic IBTC Pension Managers, a subsidiary of Stanbic IBTC Holdings PLC, recently held a webinar aimed at encouraging women empowerment and development in Nigeria.

    The event themed LATTES (Ladies At the Table Empowerment Series) was designed to furnish women with the required information to enable them to succeed in their businesses, careers, relationships and homes.

    The inaugural LATTES session themed: ‘Balancing Career Success, and Personal Wellness’ featured a Human Resource expert as well as a wellness specialist who shared tips on work-life balance and healthy living respectively.

    The Executive Director, Business Development at Stanbic IBTC Pension Managers, Nike Bajomo stated that Stanbic IBTC has always been at the vanguard of women empowerment.

    She said: “We believe that there are opportunities for every woman to thrive and blossom, and as such, we consistently create avenues to help women make the most of these opportunities. At Stanbic IBTC, empowering women remains a core priority for us. The pandemic particularly impacted women as many of us had to balance our natural roles as nurturers with showing up every day at our jobs with our A-game intact while dealing with all the challenges that came with the new normal. We, therefore, are hoping that LATTES will be an avenue to help women bounce back quicker and continue to thrive well after the pandemic is completely behind us.”

    LATTES featured Tolulope Agiri, the Group Chief Human Resources Officer for Interswitch and Sherese Ijewere, the Founder of Carib Health Limited. They both shared insights and experiences with participants on how women can balance work and wellness in their chosen field.

    Tolulope opined that lots of women find it hard to create time for themselves and mostly play the role of caregivers while altering career paths. Sighting the pandemic as an example, She went further to explain how women struggled to keep their homes and their jobs amid the covid19 pandemic.

    In her remark, Tolulope said “it is of paramount importance to set aside time for family and dedicate a portion of that time for self-care and personal development. While no one has it all, a strong support system that ensures women thrive at home and work cannot be overemphasised. A support system is critical to your growth and mental wellness as it helps create work-life balance.” She advised women to make demands that will make their jobs easier in their respective places of work and urged them to aim for leadership positions and work synergistically with their employers to make work-life balance a reality.

    Sherese Ijewere spoke on how women can incorporate wellness into their day-to-day lives, stating that maintaining a healthy lifestyle contributes to a successful life. She added that an imbalance in self-care could instigate unwanted illnesses.She admonished women to take care of themselves through a deliberate practice of selfcare resulting in higher productivity levels, reducing fatigue and enabling them to take care of others.

    Ibiyemi Mezu, Executive Director, Business Development at Stanbic IBTC applauded the initiative in her closing remark and restated Stanbic IBTC’s commitment to creating initiatives such as this to help women harness the genius in them at all times, regardless of their profession and ensuring that women have all the support required to be the best version of themselves. Participants were also reminded that Stanbic IBTC was available to offer pension support and financial advice and can be reached via 01 271 6000 or pensionsolution@stanbicibtc.com

  • Tecno Hosts The Big Brother Season 6 Housemates, Presents Them With Prizes

    Tecno Hosts The Big Brother Season 6 Housemates, Presents Them With Prizes

    TECNO’s Corporate office in Lagos was agog with activity as the BBNaija Season 6 housemates paid a courtesy call to the brand. The “Shine Ya Eye” housemates of the recently concluded reality TV show couldn’t contain their excitement as they stormed TECNO’s headquarters. 

    The housemates were welcomed to beautiful fanfare by TECNO’s PR Communications and Media Manager, West Africa Region, Vincent Uzoegbu, who gave a rousing welcoming speech while congratulating them on the just concluded BBNaija reality show.

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    In a brief introduction about the brand, Vincent emphasized the brand’s continuous commitment to supporting young, ambitious youths who are determined to achieve their dreams and aspiration, hence its involvement in various engaging activities that provide the much-needed opportunities. This is in line with the brand’s new brand slogan, “Stop at Nothing”.

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    Amidst the excitement bursting from the housemates and the fans, one major highlight was the awarding of gifts to the housemates. The housemates were presented with cash prizes won during task days and from various online activities.

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    Even more, all the housemates present were full of smiles as they were gifted either a TECNO Phantom X or the latest CAMON 18 Premier smartphone, along with other TECNO branded gifts. 

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    BBNaija housemate, Angel, rounded off the event with finesse, by appreciating the brand for being a part of the fun in the BBNaija house and raising the bar with innovative products that helped to create lasting memories for all the housemates.  It was indeed a day of fun and memories. And TECNO is still proving that it is a customer-centric brand, putting its audience first and always. 

  • Five Ways You And Your Friends Can Stay Connected On DStv

    Five Ways You And Your Friends Can Stay Connected On DStv

    When was the last time you and your friends watched your favourite TV show? Having someone to share in the fun is always exciting, but sometimes situations can happen where you and your friends can’t catch up on these exciting shows together.

    If this ever happens, don’t worry because DStv has got you covered. With the awesome world of entertainment DStv provides, here are five shows/content you and your friends can enjoy together on DStv this week.

    • Big Brother Naija Finale

    The BBNaija Shine Ya Eye is in its final week, and the tension is higher. The housemates are filled with jitters, and true emotions are starting to play out. With the new twist Big brother introduced yesterday, Pere and Angel stand a chance to make it to the top 5 in a battle of trucks and screwdrivers. You and your friends can catch up on all of Biggie’s treats and the housemates’ activities as you debate on who becomes the BBNaija Season 6 winner.

    • M-Net Pop-Up channel – Hollywood Sexiest

    M-Net has introduced two pop-up channels this month. You and your friends can sit back with a bottle of red wine as DStv serves you some of the sexiest Hollywood movies ever. Expect to see various Hollywood classic movies featuring some of your favourite actors and most popular scenes. With a lineup that includes Basic Instinct, the Fifty Shades trilogy, Magic Mike XXL, Titanic, and After We Collided, all you have to do is sit back, relax and let M-Net turn the heat up.

    • M-Net Pop-up Channel- Lethal Legends

    Fans of violence and action thrillers aren’t left out as M-Net is set to serve fans with the Lethal Legends Pop-up channel. Enjoy the best action movies from the ’80s and ’90s. The action-packed channel will bring back exciting blockbusters from Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Michael Dudikoff and other stars. Viewers can look forward to movies such as Bloodsport, Hard to Kill, Death Warrant, Invasion USA, and Platoon Leader.

    • Honey TV

    If you and your friends are fans of lifestyle content, then Honey TV is for you. Honey TV ushers in fresh Nigerian content as Chef Winnie Nwania joins the channel with a dynamic cooking show called My Naija Plate. Hair Knockout’s Adeola Ariyo returns for a second season, and in more exciting content from Nigeria, the channel welcomes Pearl Umeh to The Buzz. A talk show in which a panel of five women share their opinions and anecdotes on everyday life issues. You don’t want to miss it!

    • Africa Magic New Shows

    With the just concluded Africa Magic series, Riona and Enakhe, you and your friends are in for another exciting ride as Africa Magic introduces two new series, ‘Venge and Dilemma’. Dilemma follows the lives of two estranged lovers – Kaineto and Kanan. After years of separation, they find their way back to each other. Venge tells a scandalous story of secrets, lies, and betrayals. These shows are exclusive to Africa Magic Showcase, DStv channel 151.

    To find out more about this and the latest content on DStv, visit www.dstvafrica.com. Join the conversation on the official Dstv page on Facebook and Instagram

  • 7 Amazing Benefits Of Bitter leaf You Should Know About

    7 Amazing Benefits Of Bitter leaf You Should Know About

    If it’s bitter, then avoid it right? Not really, because if it’s bitter, then it might actually be of great benefit to your body. In Nigeria, bitter leaf is mostly incorporated into meals such as bitter leaf soup (Ofe-Onugbu in Igbo) or used mostly for medicinal purposes by the Yorubas (Ewuro). Hence, it is more popular in Western or Southern parts of the country.

    Bitter leaf soup (source: Pinterest)

    Bitter taste aside, the bitter leaf shrub (Vernonia Amygdalina) is packed full with healthy goodness for your body.

    Having said that, below are 6 benefits of bitter leaf you should know about. Maybe you will perceive the leaf differently afterwards.

    1. It’s a rich source of protein and vitamins

    Whether you belong to the “fit fam” club or not, vitamins are good for you. If you need an all-in-one source for vitamins your body will thank you for, then bitter leaf should be your plug. It is rich in Vitamin A, B1, B2, C, E and K.

    2. Relieves abdominal issues

    Those stomach upsets, diarrhea or indigestion that can have you bent in discomfort can’t stand the presence of bitter leaf in your system. For noticeable relief, you might want to chew a stalk of bitter leaf or extract the juice for drinking.

    3. It’s a great detoxifier

    Sometimes certain conditions or issues manifest on your skin or body as a result of internal impurities. Bitter leaf helps curb this by removing harmful toxins which might be present in your blood, kidney, or liver. So, a glass of bitter leaf often keeps the toxins away!

    4. Aids bowel movement

    First, let’s get the fact that infrequent bowel movements (say less than thrice weekly) is not normal and should be a cause for concern. If you experience trouble doing the needful, then it is advisable to incorporate bitter leaf into your diet.

    5. Boosts appetite

    This life is not balanced; some people have food, but struggle with getting it past their mouth into the stomach. This can point to anorexic tendencies in some individuals. Thankfully, bitter leaf is rich in fibres and minerals that can open up spike up your appetite levels. Make sure to have it around or plant some in your backyard if you can.

    6. It cures fever

    Those who are knowledgeable in herbal treatment of ailments can attest to the effectiveness of bitter leaf in curing feverish feelings. Oftentimes, fever is an accompanying symptom of malaria. Bitter leaf is effective in controlling this due to the anti-plasmodic properties it contains e.g quinine.

    7. It boosts immunity

    As cliche as it sounds, prevention really is better than cure. The various vitamins, minerals and proteins, antibiotic, antifungal properties in bitter leaf makes it an ideal immunity booster. It protects against illnesses, skin issues, and life-threatening diseases like cancer and pneumonia.

    Caution: Depending on your medical history, it is advisable to consult a medical professional before consuming bitter leaf, especially in the case of pregnancy.

  • 6 Things To Do If You Noticed Sexual Tension Between Ade Tiger And Oba

    6 Things To Do If You Noticed Sexual Tension Between Ade Tiger And Oba

    A few people have come out to say they noticed some sexual tension between Oba and Ade Tiger from the stellar TV show King Of Boys. We don’t know how they noticed the sexual tension or why they did. If you watched King Of Boys and you noticed any tension, please do one or two of the things on this list.

    1. Pray for yourself

    You need to close your eyes and pray. The thoughts running through your mind are bad. There is down bad and there’s you and it is only prayer that can bring you out of the deep depth of horniness you are in.

    2. Close your laptop

    Close your laptop and start thinking about your life, make sure you reflect on why such a thought even crossed your mind in the first place. You can go the extra mile by throwing the laptop away so you never have to use it to watch tv shows that’ll make you think such thoughts.

    3. Switch the tv off

    The first step is to switch off the tv, the second step is to break it into pieces. We are not even being extra or dramatic. After switching off the tv and breaking it, make a pact with yourself to never watch tv shows again. Period.

    4. Wash your eyes

    Make sure you wash your eyes with soap and water. We’ll have told you to wash your mind, but we don’t know how possible that is. Removing your eyes completely would have been a really good option if it wasn’t so dramatic.

    5. Read your Bible or Quran

    Religious or not, pick up a Bible or a Quran and read one of them. You are clearly in dire need of spiritual redemption.

    6. Sleep

    Just go to bed, sleep for nothing less than 12 hours so you can wake up refreshed with new thoughts. Everyone knows that tired minds think worrisome thoughts.

  • Diary Of A Kitchen Lover, Tolani Is Morning Fresh’s Official Brand Ambassador

    Diary Of A Kitchen Lover, Tolani Is Morning Fresh’s Official Brand Ambassador

    Nigeria’s leading dishwashing liquid, Morning Fresh, has unveiled Tolani Tayo-Osikoya, a successful Chef, Food Blogger and Owner of Diary of a Kitchen Lover, as its new brand ambassador. 

    Prior to the unveil, Tolani had been sharing the inspiring story of her journey on her social media platforms, reassuring Nigerians that dreams are valid even in the face of challenges and difficulties. 

    She released the third chapter of her story, ‘The Dream’, which announces a new phase in her life as Brand Ambassador of Morning Fresh, a premium brand from PZ.

    Tolani’s story evolves from chapter one where she shares her struggles as a beginner in the culinary business to a bigger and better chef in chapter two, who has earned recognitions and followers in the social media space and outside of it with her brand ‘Diary of a Kitchen Lover’ which boasts as one of the go-to place for local and international cooks and chefs.

    She is the first-ever brand ambassador for the Morning Fresh brand and she will now become the official face of the brand as it continues in its efforts to making homes fresh and clean across Nigeria.

    Congratulations to Tolani and all the fans of Diary of a Kitchen Lover. Kudos to the Morning Fresh brand for supporting budding talents. Tolani’s story will continue to be an inspiration to millions of Nigerians. 

    Check below for the highlights:

    Morning Fresh is Nigeria’s Mo 1 best-selling dishwash liquid soap with superior grease-cutting power. Available in the Original, Zesty Lemon and Antibacterial Variants, Morning Fresh has been cleaning dishes of Nigerian families since early 1990’s.

  • Be a Millionaire in the Crown Premium Pasta One-One Dance Campaign

    Be a Millionaire in the Crown Premium Pasta One-One Dance Campaign

    Crown Premium Pasta, a Non-Sticky and Great Quality Pasta that allows Consumers to Delight their Family and friends with countless recipes (see our YouTube platform; Crown Premium Pasta) is a brand that is friendly, fun, warm and that puts Consumer first.

    Crown Premium Pasta is happy to announce the commencement of one of her Consumer-focused initiative; the Crown Premium Pasta One-One Dance campaign which gives her Consumers the opportunity to win weekly cash and branded items reward for a period of 8 weeks and a grand prize of N1,000,000 as a star prize after the 8 week’s campaign. 


    9 weekly Winners have emerged already in the last 3 weeks of the campaign; @iam_mikie_franc, @ogigeamaka28, @amaakaa21, @petertrailblazer, @funnygracecomedy, @ukfinestb.

    See details of the campaign below;

    Step 1: Download the Crown Premium Pasta One-One Dance music from our website (https://bit.ly/3eXD2qw) and other social media channels.

    Step 2: Do your One-One dance alone, with family or friends.

    Step 3: Upload your video to Facebook, Instagram or TikTok using the hashtag #CPPOneOneDanceChallenge and tag @crown_premium_pasta on Facebook and Instagram and crownpremiumpasta on TikTok. 

    Step 4: Get your family and friends to follow the Crown Premium Pasta page on social media and view, like and engage with your video entry. The more engagement your approved video entry gets the higher your chances. 

    • All dance video entries must be under 1 minute long and display a pack of Crown Premium Spaghetti to qualify 
    • The most creative video with the highest number of engagements (views, likes etc.) will win the #1,000,000 Grand prize.
    • The dance video with the 2nd highest number of engagements (likes, views etc.) will win #500,000.
    • The dance video with the 3rd highest number of engagements (likes, views etc.) will win #250,000 
    • There are lots of weekly prizes to be won as well.
    • Campaign duration is 8 weeks
    • Terms and conditions apply
  • 8 Games Night Ideas You Can Play With Friends

    8 Games Night Ideas You Can Play With Friends

    When it comes to games night ideas you can play with friends, it is best to consider the people you’ll be inviting so you can choose games that each person will enjoy. Not every time truth or dare, or never have I ever. Here are 8 game night ideas you can play with your friends.

    1. Charades

    There will never be a time when charades isn’t a good games night idea you can play with friends. Just think of that quiet friend trying to act out milkshakes. Will they grab a cup of milk and try to shake it around or what? Either way, the outcome will be hilarious. 

    2. Board games

    Board games are a staple of every good games night. People get comfortable and sit around having mindless fun. Before you know it, someone has gone bankrupt in monopoly, and another person is cursing all their ancestors because they feel they have the worst luck. 

    3. Card games 

    Is it even a games night if there are no card games involved? How will you know the friends that are sore losers, the ones that have ridiculously good luck and the one that doesn’t know when to stop gloating? You know the friend that hates you when they give you 4 “pick 5” in a row in a game of whot.

    4. Eating games

    No games night is complete without an eating game. After all the drinking going on, you must sober up your friends with an eating game. Nothing gingers people like food. Just know that this game is expensive because the price of onions is expensive. 

    5.Drinking games

    Yes, there are so many games night ideas you can play with friends, but nothing tops drinking games. Of course, you must be considerate of that one person that doesn’t drink. There is also that one friend that drinks whether they failed the question or not. A really good example of a drinking game is “the lemon game”. Concentration and drinking don’t always go well.

    6. Jenga

    This game is very deceptive because it looks easy until one person spends thirty minutes thinking of where to stack his block. There is always that freakishly good person who removes the Jenga block from the weirdest angles and still wins. As the host, you have the power to ban those two people. thank you.

    7.Concentration games

    Just as people are beginning to relax and ease into the gaming mood, bring out these games.  You are the host, nobody can beat you. Ask people to recite the Nigerian states and their capitals, finish up the national anthem, or spell silhouette and watch people embarrass their ancestors. 

    8.The chore game

    You know we can’t teach you how to host people without telling you how to get them to clean up their mess. Create fake games like first to wash the car, plate washing supreme combo, floor-sweeping supersonic mode, and there you have it, the perfect games night. 


  • 9 Stages of Emotions You Feel When Your Girl Says Her Period Is Late

    9 Stages of Emotions You Feel When Your Girl Says Her Period Is Late

    Almost every guy has received that worried call from their girl, saying those words that make your stomach turn to water: “My period is late.” Immediately, you will just become weak and start feeling a ton of emotions. Here are some of the emotions you feel when your girl says her period is late.

    1. Disbelief

    She tells you that her period is late but you think she’s joking with you. What kind of rough play is this?

    2. Denial

    You start to think “Pregnancy? It couldn’t be! It’s not possible.” 

    3. Confusion

    You will suddenly forget all the biology you learned in SS2 and start asking yourself many questions. What is a period? What is it used for? Where did it go that it is late? How will we look for it?

    4. Hope

    You’ve not been to church in over a year but you’ll suddenly remember God in your hour of need. “God, help us find this period and I swear I’ll never have sex again.”

    5.Fear

    It is slowly dawning on you that she’s pregnant. You start to panic. You remember when your parents told you not to sleep with someone, or else they would get pregnant. Now, the worst has happened.

    6. Flight

    At this point, you start to wonder whether you should escape through the Seme border to Cotonou. Abi ki n salo ni?

    7. Acceptance

    At this point, you’ve accepted your fate. You have done the doings, and the deed has been done. We go run am. Maybe the child will even be a Project Mbappe and lift you out of poverty.

    8. Despair

    The amount in your account does not tally with the price of Cerelac in the market. At this rate, the baby will have to eat fufu o.

    9. Relief

    At the end of the day, the period arrives. You can finally breathe. You quickly forget the promise that you made to God not to have sex. We go again.

    how to mix cream

    Check this out: 9 Ways To Recognise A Wicked Nigerian Woman

    [donation]

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  • UNILAG Shuts Down Its Hostels After A COVID Outbreak

    UNILAG Shuts Down Its Hostels After A COVID Outbreak

    The University authorities released a statement addressing the rise of Covid-19 cases in UNILAG on Tuesday after this tweet was made.

    Huh ??? Covid outbreak in Unilag  ??? https://t.co/LbH5Xv3nM7

    – Jahmal (@JahmalUsen) July 12. 2021

    The statement reads,

    Read more here.

    School activities were going on as normal, even after several Covid-19 positive students were found in hostels like Kofo, Moremi and Honours Hall. Students have reacted in various ways to this news. Here a few reactions: 

    There’s covid in Unilag

    Moremi

    Kofo

    Honors

    Stay safe guys

    — Komedi Queen (@_tohluh_)  July 12. 2021

    The students who tested positive were asked to move out of the hostels to curb the spread of the virus. 

    The roommate of my classmate tested positive for covid-19 and Unilag sent them home. That’s all, go home and come back after two weeks.

    — Nonso this Nonso that. (@Chukwunonsoffor) July 13. 2021

    But some Unilag students had different thoughts on the matter.

    Lets finish this semester before they send us home abeg. Last semester was bad enough. 

    We are all aware we’re in a pandemic.  Get the vaccine, protect yourselves properly and let’s get this semester done with abeg.

    — Omojo? (@allwell_) July 13. 2021

    Is like Covid19 just came back again afresh 😭😭😭 and Unilag is just having its fair share of it.

    It actually didn’t leave Nigeria 💀.

    I don’t want to go home or have to deal with e-learning and at the same time, I don’t want to get infected 😭.

    — Girlie O! (@saabi_girl) July 13. 2021

    There was also speculation on the silence due to the indemnity form students signed upon admission into the university.

    Others have decided to take a lighter tone on the subject:

    if you like wear 20 nose masks, so far you are staying in unilag 🗿you don already catch am

    — maryam (@maryamamasa) July 13. 2021

    unilag students “we outside we outside” now there’s covid everywhere

    –chupaco (@hardtolu) July 13. 2021

    The vice-chancellor of the University of Lagos, Professor Oluwatoyin. T. Ogundipe had an emergency meeting yesterday at 2 pm to discuss the vacation of halls of residence by students after a Covid outbreak in the university.  

    The outcome of the meeting was an immediate closure of hostels to curb the spread of covid-19 on campus. These messages were sent out to the student body; 

    “To check the spread of Covid-19 on campus, the University Senate has directed that all students vacate the halls of residence latest by 12.00 noon on Thursday 15 July 2021. No access will be granted to any student after 12.00 noon on 15 July. The hostels will be locked indefinitely therefore students are advised to move all their personal effects at once. Lectures for the rest of the semester will be delivered virtually with effect from 26th July 2021. DSA”

    Students can be seen all over campus trying to get home. 

    Because of how impromptu the announcement was, and the tedious stress of moving, the university sent out another message earlier today that read; 

    “ IMPORTANT NOTICE. EXTENSION OF THE DEADLINE TO EVACUATE THE HOSTELS TO 12.00 NOON ON FRIDAY 16 JULY 2021. To ease the burden of transportation the deadline to evacuate the hostels is hereby extended to noon on Friday 16 July 2021. DSA.”

    For preventive measures on how to deal with Covid-19, click here

    CTA: If you’re a UNILAG student affected by this we’d like to hear from you. Reach out to us by sending a dm on social media or Malakai Bassey

  • 7 Things To Do Before You Break Up With Someone

    7 Things To Do Before You Break Up With Someone

    What do you do before you breakup with someone? Well, you should try out any of these seven things.

    1) Eat

    A hungry man is an angry man. So sometimes the reason you want to break up with your partner is because you’ve not had some good food in a while. Before you type that text, order yourself something nice, eat, and then really think about it.

    boy eating and smiling gif

    2) Bathe

    Temperatures are rising and heat sometimes can make you act irrationally. Before you break up, bathe. Let the cold water cool your brain. If you do this before you breakup, then you probably wouldn’t need to anymore

    oprah winfrey saying relax gif

    3) Sleep

    Sometimes, you need to forget all of your problems. Close your eyes and sleep. Let the answer to your predicament come to you in your dream. Joseph whomst? You are the real dreamer here.

    woman sleeping on public transport

    4) Take your partner for deliverance

    If you have been complaining about a particular thing and your partner has refused to change, are you sure it is not time to get spiritual forces involved? Maybe you need to take them for delivernace first. When the spirit realm has also rejected their case, then you can move on.

    comedian kneeling with bell on his head

    5) Do a Twitter poll

    Why not leave such an important decision in your life to random strangers on the internet? If your followers and their followers can’t control your life, what are they there for?

    Patiencce Ozokwor laughing

    6) Check your horscope

    It’s possible you only want to break up because Mercury is in retrograde again, or maybe because the moon is in Cancer. Before you take any drastic decision, make sure it’s not just the stars causing trouble again.

    7) Take a Zikoko quiz

    Your problem could be stress. What better way to destress than with Zikoko quizzes? By the time you’re done, your head would have calmed down and you can decide if you’d proceed with breaking up with them or not.

    man tapping his head and asking people to think

    [shortcoe]

  • QUIZ: Only True Zikoko Lovers Will Score 10/10 On This Quiz

    QUIZ: Only True Zikoko Lovers Will Score 10/10 On This Quiz

    “OMG, I love Zikoko.” We hate to break it to you, but only the true lovers of Zikoko can score 10 out of 10 on this quiz.

    We’ll definitely catch you here if you’ve been trying to scope us all the while.

    Oya take the quiz.

    Psst! Did you know you can contribute as low as 500 Naira to show just how much you love Zikoko?

    Here’s why you should contribute:

    • You love us and the work we do
    • We inform you and make you laugh
    • You stand a chance of hanging out with the Zikoko team
    • We tell the most relatable and unique African stories

    Should we go on? Go here now to show us some love.

  • QUIZ: Which Nollywood Couple Combo Are You?

    QUIZ: Which Nollywood Couple Combo Are You?

    Everyone is secretly the product of an old Nollywood couple combination. Take this quiz to find out which old Nollywood couple combination you secretly are.

  • 8 Queer Nigerians Talk Getting Punished At School For Being Queer

    8 Queer Nigerians Talk Getting Punished At School For Being Queer

    While we don’t talk about it as much as we need to, queer Nigerians face extreme bullying and violence while in school. Because the system is designed against queer lives, it means that even authorities vested with the responsibility of protecting all students, including queer ones, are either the ones perpetuating that violence or providing support to those perpetuating it. 

    Below 8 Nigerians share their horrible experiences getting punished or expelled while in school.

    Lolu, 22

    To start with, I was suspended twice for being queer, and the last time I was told to leave the hostel and attend school from my house (so as not to infect the other students they said). For someone that went to an only girl’s religious high school, homophobia was always the order of the day even for preachers and guest speakers who would come and tell you how you would have HPV and die from homosexuality. The first time I got suspended, it was over speculations on whether or not I and my partner at the time were always making out under the staircase.  Then one of my male teachers asked me to tell him what it feels like to touch girls and threatened to tell the school he saw me with my partner if I didn’t. I was caught in the act the second time, for a religious school you’d think they’d be more understanding and want to counsel you but no, they started telling people to stay away from me if not I would infect them with the 8 demons inside of me, I remember being called out on the assembly ground flogged 16 times and how I was made to kneel down in front of a very public place so people could see the face of a lesbian and make sure not to be like me, I saw people laughing at me, showing disgust and even pointing at me with pity. I still have both suspension letters and now I just laugh when I go through them.

    Timi, 22

    It was in 2016 and I was preparing for final exams. We were on an excursion one time and I made out with this boy. The next morning I noticed he was suddenly cold, later that day, a teacher called me and flogged me, saying I was going about possessing people with homosexuality. Apparently, this friend told him that I was the one who made him fall into sin. About a week later I was called to the Disciplinary Committee, I wasn’t even given a chance to talk, there was nothing I wanted to say anyway, from every angle I kept hearing how I was going to burn in hell, how I can never be redeemed, how I have become a shame to the society. I was suspended from school and they told boys to be careful because I might be looking out for who to possess next. After I came back to school, only about 10% spoke to me before we graduated.

    Chioma, 24

    So in SS3 1st term, I became close friends with this girl. This was a catholic school. We were just friends, still are and along the line, I fell ill so she took me to her corner for the duration. Took care of me. We became closer, did everything together. She even came to my house during the holidays. Nothing sexual ever happened asides from holding hands and hugs cause we were both pretty religious but apparently our feelings were obvious. One day, some girl woke me from siesta and said that the disciplinary committee was looking for me. I was a labor Prefect so I thought it had something to do with that. Got there and they were throwing accusations around me and asking that I confess to being a lesbian. I denied. For one, I didn’t really believe that I was. Anyways they kept prodding and threatening me with expulsion, that they had eyewitnesses who can swear we were seen making out. They also accused us of being evil, possessed, and corrupting the girls in my friend’s hostel. After the meeting, I called my mum and told her what had happened and when she came, I was given an expulsion letter. I had to write my WAEC from home. After the expulsion, the principal went on a smear campaign. He called an assembly to say all sorts about me. It was ridiculous now that I think of it. I should add that our parents were super supportive at the time. My brother wanted to sue but the principal threatened to withhold my certificate.

    Sara, 20

    I was in Jss2, so I was around 11 years old and I was in the boarding house of an all-girls school. At the time I was not aware of my queerness, but I had a senior that was particularly attached to me. One morning, I was getting dressed for school and the senior, let’s call her R, spanked me playfully with a hanger and I giggled and that was enough homosexuality for another senior who reported us to the hostel mistresses and school administration for being a lesbian and I was promptly 

    suspended with no investigation. I was told that the fact that both of us were practically naked and that we were engaging in “sexual practices” should have been grounds for expulsion but my mother fought the case and I was suspended for two weeks and removed from the boarding house.

    Lauren, 33

    When I was in secondary school, a student organized a get-together for me and my friends and somehow it became something the school tagged a “lesbian initiation.” Before I knew what was going on, I was in the principal’s office with my mother, and I was trying to convince them that I was not a lesbian nor was I a cultist just to avoid being expelled. It was time for final year exams so a lot was at stake. Fast forward to university. I fell in love with a girl and we would always walk around calling each other baby and just loving on each other the way two best friends would. And yet again, we were called to a panel but this time, we were both suspended for a year because the school is a Christian school. My mother was very disappointed and was like “there’s no smoke without fire and that I am repeating the same thing” but she was also supportive. After the suspension, my girlfriend and I returned and had to find ways not to be so in love. It was a whole mess.

    Larma, 24

    You really won’t understand the humiliation femme boys face in primary and secondary school for just being effeminate. It was a Sunday morning when I was called upon to testify if I knew my then friend was into homosexuality ( unknown to me my friend was caught with another boy the previous night) The news did spread at the time which led me and a couple of other guys to write statements, my friend got withdrawn by his parents, names were called out on the assembly but the “offense” wasn’t said. The punishment was to basically clean and do some menial community work. I finished from the same school, but I never for once stopped hearing untrue gossip that I’ve slept or I’ve been in a relationship with almost all the boys in school and because I was effeminate it worsened the case.

    Charles, 21

    I was expelled at the end of JSS1 from an all-boys Catholic boarding school. It was not because I was actually caught engaging in sexual activities with another boy, but because I was extremely feminine and everyone believed I was definitely having sex with someone else, or at the very least, it was bound to happen so I might as well be expelled. The worst part is that my parents sent me off to another all-boys Catholic boarding school after that.

    Alex, 23

    At 100 level I fell in love with a student representative, her name was Mia. For months we were together and after some time people started coming up to me to warn me about the relationship I had with Mia saying that a lot of people are upset about it and that some of the school authorities had started to suspect, so I listened to them and removed my self entirely from the circle. Some weeks passed and some student representatives and a school representative barged into my room and took me someplace for questioning. After so many threats, they eventually settled at saying they just wanted to get me the help I needed and that they didn’t want anything to happen so I shouldn’t be worried they just wanted to pray away the gayness from me. So I believed them because it was a priest that said he just wanted to help and pray for me. 

    I went back the following day for my pray and deliverance session and the priest nearly ran me over with his car calling me all sorts of names. Different versions of my story spread around campus and I became very suicidal. I faced the disciplinary panel. And two weeks after the panel I was sent home on a semester suspension. Thankfully, I still got a 4.7/5 that semester.

    QUIZ: Can We Guess Your Sexual Orientation?

    Take this quiz and we’ll guess what your sexual orientation is.

  • QUIZ: Which Nigerian Food Seasoning Are You?

    QUIZ: Which Nigerian Food Seasoning Are You?

    Take this quiz and we’ll tell you which Nigerian food seasoning is in sync with your personality:

  • A Free Union

    A Free Union

    Last weekend was truly a celebration of love as Union Bank x BellaNaija Weddings made dreams come true with a free surprise proposal for one couple and an all-expenses-paid wedding for another couple! 

    And just like that. Notey Akpotive and Obiora Chibuzor are now onestep closer to their happily ever after, thanks to Union Bank x BellaNaija Weddings as Obiora proposed to the love of his life Notey and she said “yes!” “Beautiful” does not even begin to describe the proposal! From the ambience to the music, to the engagement ring, everything was breath-taking! 

    Whew! It didn’t just stop there. Kemi & Dolapo were selected to receive #AFreeUnion again courtesy of BellaNaija Weddings × Union Bank!  ! The joy and excitement on their faces when they found out they were winners cannot be described. Wow! It was like something out of the movies!

    On Sunday, February 14, 2021, the internationally celebrated day of love, Kemi & Dolapo said their “I do’s” in an all-expenses paid wedding! In front of family and close friends. Oh! and guess what? Johnny Drille was also in the house to serenade the latest couple with ‘aww’ inducing love songs! 

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CLSDrP7Bn05/

    This is indeed the perfect valentine gift, a dream wedding for Kemi & Dolapo!

    Amazing right! Congratulations to the winners! 

    Indeed dreams do come true!

    #Afreeunion #theproposal #BellanaijaweddingsXUnionBank

    For more pictures and videos on #AFreeUnion, follow Union Bank on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. 

  • 5 Nigerians Share Their Worst Therapy Experiences

    5 Nigerians Share Their Worst Therapy Experiences

    For many Nigerians, therapy is expensive and hard to access. This is because Nigeria suffers from treating mental health issues as exotic cultural concepts that don’t deserve to be paid more attention to or sufficiently invested in.

    However, for some Nigerians, therapy has offered an alternate path to healing, but because bad things always happen, their experiences with therapy haven’t always been rosy. Below, five Nigerians share the worst therapy experiences they have gone through. 

    Celine, 24.

    In 2018, during my service year, I had a meltdown in my office and a colleague of mine recommended I see another staff member who studied psychology and would often offer his services as a therapist to his coworkers. I went to see him that day, determined not to open up to him but he was so charming and kind that I eventually did. We bonded quickly and were always texting each other. About 3 months into our daily sessions where I would go to his office and we would talk, I went just before we closed and he offered to drop me at my destination. We talked all the way there and as soon as he parked, he held my hand and I quickly pulled away. He then said and I’ll never forget “why are you afraid of people being attracted to you?”, I couldn’t respond because I was freaked out so I got out of the car. He later apologized for the incident then went on to tell me how he felt about me over the weeks that followed. I was initially confused as to whether I should reciprocate his feelings because he was one of the few people who at that point in my life listened to me and cared about me so I didn’t want to lose him. I eventually told him I felt the same and we began seeing each other casually. I felt so guilty because he was married with kids but he would go on and on about how he was unhappy with his life and would leave his family if he could. This made me feel bad for him and so I stayed until one day in 2019 when I couldn’t take the guilt any longer. We had only kissed once by that time and I didn’t want it to go further. He left me a lot for a while then he popped back into my life at the beginning of 2020 with the guise of caring about my well-being and wanting to give me a present for my birthday. He gave me my present and asked that we hang out sometime. His gift was quite generous and I really thought he just wanted us to sit and talk. Long story short, he booked us a hotel room, we had sex, it was horrible and I felt so bad. 

    Emma, 23.

    The first therapist I met with was supposed to administer a personality test and in one of the forms, I stated that I am a lesbian. The therapist went into this long lecture about how he’s not invalidating my identity, but he has noticed that children who grow up without a good father figure or who grew up in abusive households usually turn out gay and he’s not saying that that’s the reason for me but that’s what studies show and my history that I shared with him is showing that I also went through the same kind of things growing up and that’s why I’m a lesbian. I managed to survive that part and I went to see the second therapist whose only job was to give me my meds and ask if I’m okay. He asked if I had a boyfriend and I said I had a girlfriend. He then asked who the man in my relationship is. I told him there was no man since we’re both women then he proceeded to ask how I and my girlfriend have sex. I really just wanted to punch him in the face at that point. As if all of that wasn’t enough, at my last appointment at the Federal Neuropsychiatric Hospital, the therapist (a different one) asked who the man in my relationship is and kept insisting that there’s a man. Later on, he asked if I had ever thought of changing my sexuality (the first therapist asked this as well) and told me that we’ll talk about how to stop being gay in my next appointment. So basically conversion therapy. I don’t think I’m going back there.

    Crystal, 22

    The therapist was a psychologist and a psychiatrist at a public hospital. During my sessions, he disregarded an important fact that I had mania episodes. They were not often but were important in my story. We had three sessions and in that period, he touched me inappropriately twice. It was a kind of touch where you’re not sure if he crossed the line or if you’re just overreacting. It was definitely unprofessional and made me really uncomfortable. I decided to try a popular mental health NGO, that too was a total waste of time. The person I spoke with made me feel t like I was just stressing him. At some point, I had to pretend I was okay so it could end.

    Tonye, 24.

    I’ve been in therapy on and off since I was 10. At that age,  my parents were about to get divorced. My therapist then was a deeper life lady who blames me (the 10-year-old) for going to my mum with proof about my dad’s infidelity (the reason for the proposed divorce

    And you know modern women (my mum) who can’t handle a little abuse and cheating here and there. My most recent ones have been the white male gay who wanted me to come out to my parents. And spent all our sessions (they are 150$ a pop, in this economy) talking either about queerness or about how ‘Africa’ is so backward. The First Lady was tied to my school so I mean she told everyone and would even take me from classes if I ‘missed’ a session (she’d go to my teachers and ask them about me), but I think it’s the microaggression and racist comments that take the cake for me.

    Aishat, 28.

    In February 2020, I was dealing with trauma from rape and battling depression/anxiety for a period. I decided I needed therapy but I wanted faith-based counseling (I’m a Christian). I went to the Counselling unit in my church. The session went on for about 30 minutes and from the first impression, the lady didn’t seem welcoming but I  was already there so I didn’t want to chicken out. The first time she called my name, she called me “Ashirat”, this was after I had spelled my name out for her on the piece of paper she was writing on. The door of the Counselling room was ajar and I could hear clearly the conversation happening in the adjacent room, so I was sure they could hear us too. And even as I tried to keep my voice down to manage some privacy, she kept talking at full volume. After I told her about my experience, she basically preached God’s grace to me, likening me to a harlot. Then she told me it’s been so long and I need to get over the experience. The good news is that I found a proper faith-based counseling service in Lekki and they’ve been quite helpful.

  • Wahala be like Bicycle, we were minding our business when Wema Bank decided to set Twitter on fire on Val’s Day with their Campaign

    Wahala be like Bicycle, we were minding our business when Wema Bank decided to set Twitter on fire on Val’s Day with their Campaign

    February 14 started calmly in Lagos, just as in every other part around the world until suddenly, Twitter started getting hot. What is it again today, oh ye restless soldiers of Twitter? The heat started getting really hot. Well, as the amplifier of the voice of the African youth, we had to take a peep into the TL, to keep our Trybe duly updated. What we saw were banters wearing purple robe storming the entirety of Twitter and Instagram.

    Guess who decided to set the TL on fire? Wema Bank was in the driver’s side of a fast-moving bus, with their good-natured banter, busy throwing, flinging and distributing L’s to other Banks, who were clearly looking helpless as none of them seemed to have the right weapon to respond with. Safe to say they all just picked their subs and kept it moving.

    Apparently, One of Nigeria’s most innovative and digitally-led financial institutions decided to wake the sleeping social media up by leveraging the currency of banter trends, while taking on some leading financial institutions in the country with its Valentine’s Day campaign.

    Titled ‘Our Val’s Day Musings’, the creatively humorous banter sent social media, particularly Twitter, agog, with thousands of commentators retweeting and passing positive comments.

    “Trust us, we ain’t throwing shade. But make we yarn the truth,” the message begins.

    “If you must give your heart to a lover at all, guard it with all diligence and ensure not everyone has Access to it.

    “Some will promise to take you to the Zenith of life, First check their Heritage and commitment to Fidelity; and the Sterling qualities they possess before banking on them.

    Unity is key. But the real deal is how the Union can make your life better.

    “Always ask for some Guaranty. Life no balance abeg.

    “If you must choose to be loved at all, let it be cladded in purple.

    “You deserve to be loved and pampered like the royalty you are.

    “Stay woke. Stay with ALAT by Wema.

    Happy Valentine’s Day from all of us at Wema Bank.”

    The following are some comments under the post by Wema Bank, which do you think was the most savage?

    • Jubril A Gawat with the handle @Mr_JAGs noted: “very nice, clean, soft and simple ‘General Market’ banter.
    • @Ayothefather commented, “I dey go open Wema Bank account tomorrow”, while @Mofiolaoluwasa1 tweeted, “Wema Bank nailed eet. Dragged title from Sterling.”
    • A First Bank customer,@iambellotaiwo, jumped in with “@FirstBankngr you can’t shame me, shey you know…You guys need to respond to this real quick.”
    • A Wema Bank customer, @ray_hadji, reaffirmed his love for the bank with “I’m proud of my bank” and @Ajoke_Onifaari hailed its quality. “This Wema Bank Valentine’s ad is top notch.”

    The banter continues to trend on social media with more commentators having their say.

    Recall that the digitally-led innovative Wema Bank is currently delighting its customers with a prepaid gift card they can gift to their loved ones in the Valentine’s season.

    To promote the tradition of gift-giving that accompanies the holiday, the bank is offering customers a special gift option to share with their loved ones and embarking on a love fiesta of their own: the *945# love campaign. Members of her online community would win giveaways including goody bags, airtime recharge, purchase discounts and cash prizes.

  • 5 Nigerians Share Their Best Christmas Memory

    5 Nigerians Share Their Best Christmas Memory

    Christmas is an annual celebration of the birth of Christ, characterized by gifting, being around friends and relatives, and making beautiful memories. We asked 5 Nigerians to share their most memorable Christmas experiences with us, and this is what they said:

    1. Martha, 23 

    Most memorable should be the year I left secondary school. My family did a photoshoot, got Christmas hats and my brothers taught my dad how to play assassin’s creed. It’s the full house playing scrabble and video games once a year that makes it memorable. We all lived in different states in the country, so everyone coming together made it very special.

    1. Fatiha, 21

    Every Christmas apart from this one is memorable for me. My cousins and their parents are Christians, and they come from Ondo State every Christmas to their holiday home in Akure. I am their favourite cousin, so I tag along. The Akure home has everything in abundance. We eat, watch Korean dramas, have fun on the balcony (great view) and talk. It’s one of my best days of the year. 

    1. Chinenye, 24

    Christmas has always meant too much cooking and stress and other annoying things at home for me, and I’ve never been that into Christmas. Last year was the most memorable. I was with Chima, my boyfriend, my little sister her boyfriend, and my friend, Lily. I made rice and chicken, and she made Afang. We had ice cream and cake, wore Christmas hats, took tons of pictures and played like little kids. 

    1. Damilola, 23

    Christmas 2007. My childhood had great Christmases, but this one stood out because it was one of the first we spent away from home. We went to my maternal grandma’s house. It was one of the few times my mom and her siblings from the same parents could be together under one roof. It was also the first time I met my cousins, and I instantly clicked with the first son, Segun, even though he was three years younger than I was. I was comfortable.  This memory sticks out because it’s one of the few memories I still have of my time with my cousin before he was killed in the university about two years ago. 

    1. Faith, 20

    In November 2018, my uncle, who is a tanker driver, had an accident in Nassarawa. He was our favourite uncle, the type that dashes you money for no reason. He even sent me ₦5k last Monday. This uncle also has diabetes and treating him cost us so much. So we went from hospital to hospital trying to get him proper care. He wouldn’t stop bleeding. At the hospital, we were told he had intracranial haemorrhage. He was bleeding in his brain.

    He had a surgery on the 23rd and woke up on the 24th. We were so happy ehn, Jesus. We sent him fruit salad and chicken that night.

    On the 29th, his words started slurring, and he complained of a migraine when he tried to talk. They took him back to ABUTH, and we were told the bleeding was on the other side of his brain too, that the first CT scan only showed it on one side, so they had to do surgery and drain the blood on the opposite side of his head. Haa, that was how we went for surgery again. And he came out all fine. I was glad.

    You can enjoy more Zikoko Christmas themed stories here.

  • 6 Slangs Every IJGB Needs To Learn

    6 Slangs Every IJGB Needs To Learn

    It is December, and as always, I Just Got Back (IJGBs) are now in town to remind us that the weather in Heathrow in different from the one in Honolulu. While IJGBs have knowledge of worlds, we have knowledge of words. Here are six slangs IJGBs have to learn to blend in.

    1. On God

    Nigerians are so in love with God that when they realised God was not mentioned in the first stanza of the National anthem, they created a second stanza that starts with “Oh God of creation”. When Nigerians say “On God”, they are telling you to do your best and trust God to handle the rest. When you ask a Nigerian if clubbing will happen tonight, dear IJGB, “On God” = As long as God lives, we will ball!

    1. We go run am

    This is the slang home-based Nigerians want to hear from you when they complain about their economic predicament. As a bag of rice is now worth the same amount as a plot of land in Ibadan, we go run am is the slang you need to comfort home-based Nigerians that help is coming soon. You can also just ask for their account number.

    1. E be things

    E be things is a general slang on the complexity of life. This is what you say when you realise that problems are not tailored to frustrate you, problems just exist and there is nothing you can do about them. E be the things is the hood equivalent of “Well… that’s life”. When you get stuck in traffic on your way to pick up glazed doughnuts, E be things is what you tweet to let home-based Nigerians know what’s up.

    1. At all at all na im bad pass

    This is the slang to use when you are expecting ₦10m in your account, and you get ₦1k. It is you saying “I know I deserve better, but I will manage.” 

    1. I can’t kill myself

    After all the freezing cold in Toronto, and the lockdown in London, you are now home to enjoy yourself, but people won’t stop asking why you like partying so much. To remind your haters that it has been a stressful year, the right slang to tweet post-hangover is “I can’t kill myself”. That way, your haters will know you don’t care. You just want to enjoy the holidays. 

    1. Omo

    If all else fails, try omo. Omo is “innit” that didn’t see visa to collect. It fits into every context. Omo is the slang for when you see a hot guy/babe. Omo is the slang for when someone hits your car. Omo is the slang for a bowl of Isi-ewu that hits every part of your body. Omo is a sentence, a phrase, a word, a culture depending on how you use it. 

    Which slang did we miss?    

  • 8 Important Things About AIDS You HAVE To Know

    8 Important Things About AIDS You HAVE To Know

    December 1st is World AIDS Day. It is a day to raise awareness about AIDS. We spoke to Doctor Opeyemi, to tell us some facts about the disease, common misconceptions and how to care for people living with AIDS.


    1) AIDS

    AIDS (Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome) is the late stage manifestation of the viral infection called HIV (Human Immuno Deficiency Virus). When the CD4 cell count of the body falls below a certain level (200 per cubic millimetres), it means the disease has overpowered the body. AIDS can also occur when an opportunistic infection, which is an infection that happens because a bigger infection is already in the body is happening, or because the body’s immune system is weak, is also present in the affected person’s body.

    2) People that can get AIDS

    Anyone can get AIDS. There is a common saying that “e no dey show for face”. For some people, it is basically impossible to detect. 

    3) How to get AIDS

    So, you cannot directly contract AIDS from someone, but you can contract HIV which, if not treated, can progress to AIDS.

    4) Some ways of contracting HIV

    You can get HIV through sharing sharp objects with someone who has it or having unprotected sex with someone who has not been taking their medication and as such has a viral load. It is also possible for positive pregnant mothers to pass the virus to their children, or if an iatrogenic blood transfusion with blood that is infected occurs. This is actually very rare because blood is usually screened before transfusion.

    5) Preventive measures

    Abstinence and ensuring that even when sex is had, it is protected are ways to prevent AIDS. Condoms are not only for preventing pregnancies but also for preventing infections. You can also help by making sure HIV infected persons use their drugs at the right time and attend the appropriate clinics to get the appropriate care. Also make sure you do not share sharp objects. 

    6) Common misconceptions

    A lot of people think AIDS can only affect a certain group or demographic of people when in truth, anyone can get it. Another common misconception is that only gay men get AIDS or only women get it because they are sex workers. This is untrue and a dangerous misconception. 

    7) Ways to help people with AIDS

    Do not stigmatize them. Support them and treat them like the human beings they are. If they are struggling with their medication, be there for them. You can take care of them at home and follow them to the hospital if you can. 

    8) Destigmatisation of AIDS

    The best way to destigmatise AIDS is to understand that it is a disease like many others, and it does not matter how the person got it. Do not refuse them employment simply because of their illness, and do not cut them off as friends. Things like that only tend to cause them more hurt.

    For more information about World AIDS Day, please click here


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    For more information about World AIDS Day, please click here

  • QUIZ: How Sexually Adventurous Are You?

    QUIZ: How Sexually Adventurous Are You?

    Are you freaky or vanilla? Take this quiz to find out how sexually adventurous you are.

    11 Timed Quizzes For Nigerians With Fast Fingers

    Do you have fast fingers? Take these quizzes.

    [donation]

  • 12 Things You Can Add To Okro Soup For A Different Taste

    12 Things You Can Add To Okro Soup For A Different Taste

    If you need new ways to vamp up your ila alasepo (okro soup), you should consider adding these things to it. Everything listed here will transform the taste of your okro soup.

    1. Ponmo

    Cut this into small bits to fill up space in your pot. A recommended tip though: Don’t boil ponmo with other things you’re planning to add. That’s because of the smell. Boil separately.


    2. Fish

    Frozen Titus Fish 1kg – My Belle My Kitchen

    If there’s anything I’ve clocked in this business of cooking ila alasepo, it is this: the type of fish determines the type of taste you’ll get. Iced Shawa fish brings another taste, just as Titus brings a different one. Shawa is bony, and it scatters quickly in the okro soup. Titus holds longer and is not as bony.

    Nigerian Panla Fish; A Good Recipe For Efo Riro | Nigerianfoodies.com

    If you smoked fish, it’s another taste too. I recommend smoked Titus and Shawa. Just scatter them in the soup. I would have said Panla, but I don’t exactly like it in okro. I prefer it in stew instead.

    NB: Yet to try Kote fish in okro soup. Maybe one day.


    3. Liver

    Grass Fed Beef Liver 500g | The Naked Butcher Perth

    I will always preach this gospel oh. I tried liver in okro soup once and my life hasn’t remained the same. Just boil the liver and chop it into bits. Omo.


    4. Chicken/Turkey

    peppered-chicken | Zikoko!

    This one is a sure banker. But given the way the country is, it’s understandable if you don’t want to add chicken to your okro soup. We are all broke, no shame in it.


    5. Snail

    Peppered snail @africanfoodyummy 🐌🐌🐌🐌 | African recipes nigerian food,  Nigerian food, African food

    Properly washed snails, that is. The flavour it brings to the okro is completely different and good. You can’t but love it.


    6. Beef

    How to Choose and Prep Meat for Nigerian cooking

    One thing I’ve clocked is to use the beef stock to prepare my okro. Taste>>>


    7. Prawns

    Frozen Shrimps And Prawns Suppliers In Nigeria: Exporters & Buyers

    Prawns make everything better, literally. Please note that this is the fleshy type oh. The other tiny ones that are popular in Igbo markets don’t exactly cut it for me. I don’t even feel their taste as such, so those ones are a no for me.

    Crayfish 3 mudu - Ahraha | Buy and Sell food.Grocery and Farm Produce Online
    This type. No for me.

    8. Bitterleaf

    Bitter Leaf: Why you should take advantage of this herb

    I use this in the dried form. My grandma gave me a bottle of it so I just tip it into the soup. It has this slightly bitter tinge that makes the okro soup taste different and good. Especially with eba or fufu.

    To make the dried leaves, my grandmother sun dries the leaves whole and then crushes it by hand into a bottle. Can also be added to egusi soup and stew, if you feel like it.

    9. Ugu

    Ugu Leaves - GoMarket

    This changed the taste of my ila alasepo completely. I added the ugu last (as you should) and it brought a new dimension to the soup. See, ugu is a premium vegetable.

    10. Scent leaves

    Scent leaf - Agroeazy

    The aroma this gives is out of this world. The taste too. But it doesn’t agree with my stomach, so I use it just once in a while. And in little quantities too.

    11. Locust beans

    Locust Beans – BAC Synergy Global Ltd

    I have noticed a (slight) difference in how my ila alasepo tastes when I add locust beans and when I do not. It’s worth trying out. That is, if you have always cooked your okro with locust beans, try removing it. And if you’ve never used it, this might be the time to try it.

    12. Ogbono

    OGBONO OKRA SOUP - QUICK & EASY METHOD | COOK WITH ME - YouTube

    I haven’t tried this. To me, they are both draw soups so what’s the need? But then, it’s a recipe and a lot of people have tapped into the movement. If you’re looking to try it out, here’s a video explaining how.


    7 Important Things You Need To Know About Cooking Beans


  • 4 Advantages Of Having Older Siblings

    4 Advantages Of Having Older Siblings

    As any child who has an older sibling knows, they can be a huge pain in the ass sometimes. However, there are times when they prove useful.

    1) Taking their stuff.

    Hand-me-downs are only a bad thing if your older siblings don’t have good taste in clothes and stuff. Find the coolest and most expensive stuff they own and beg for it with puppy dog eyes. They’ll cave eventually.

    2) Taxing them.

    Whether they have jobs or not. They’re older and it’s part of their responsibilities to give you shit.

    3) Putting them in trouble any chance you get.

    Catch them breaking curfew? Report them to your parents. They tap you lightly on the shoulder? Let out a blood-curling scream and tell your parents they slammed your head into a wall. Have fun with it.

    4) Having them defend you when you get in trouble.

    Go look for trouble and scream for help when you find it.

    [donation]

  • Dominicans Are So Laidback, Banks Close By 2 p.m. – Abroad Life

    Dominicans Are So Laidback, Banks Close By 2 p.m. – Abroad Life

    The subject of today’s Abroad Life is a 25-year-old woman who lives and studies medicine in Dominica. She talks about how she got the admission, the fact that there are a lot of Nigerians there, and why she wants to leave once she’s done with her programme. 

    First things first, where are you right now?

    I’m in Dominica.

    Dominican Republic?

    Haha I knew you would say that.  No, they’re different. Dominican Republic is the more popular one. You know when people say they’re going to the Carribean, Dominica is one of the countries there. 

    Cool. What’s happening in Dominica?

    I’m a student. I’m studying medicine.

    Why all the way in Dominica?

    First of all, it’s cheaper to study medicine here than in the US. Secondly, I don’t get to spend six years like I would somewhere else. It’s four years here. 

    Cool. So when did you get there?

    May 2019. It’s been more than a year.

    How did you choose to study at Dominica?

    Pop-up ads. Obviously I did some investigation, but I saw that it was cheaper and I was like, “Let me just try this.” I also saw that there were some scholarships for international students. It was a long shot but I tried it anyways. I got admission into the school, but we still didn’t have the money so I was already forgetting about it. But at some point, the money suddenly came in and I just left. 

    Did it take long to process your visa?

    I didn’t get a visa until I got here. It was super easy. 

    Awesome. Are there many Nigerians there? 

    A lot. Dominica is smaller than Ibadan and its total population is 70,000 people but Nigerians are everywhere. After actual Dominicans, the most popular people here are Nigerians. 

    Do you know why?

    It’s because of the schools. I can’t see why Nigerians would be here if not for the schools. 

    Did seeing so many Nigerians make you forget that you were abroad?

    I have missed home, but it’s not bad. I always have someone to talk to. There’s a strong sense of community here among Nigerians. 

    What’s the typical Dominican lifestyle like?

    First of all, there’s light every time. Their major language is Creole but everyone speaks English so that’s great. About ninety percent of the people here are Christian as well so that’s nice for me. I attend RCCG here. Oh and my house is by the water! 

    Cool! Food?

    I don’t think I can ever understand their food combinations. In Nigeria, we eat rice, stew with plantain and chicken. But here you can see rice, mac and cheese, yam, boiled plantain and bananas with gravy all in the same plate and you wonder why they don’t separate it. 

    Or why don’t they use it as a sacrifice to the gods.

    Exactly, it just needs palm oil.

    Are they nice people? 

    They are obviously not as friendly as Nigerians, but they are okay. It’s not like they’re welcoming you with open arms, but they’re not pushing you away. 

    Do you still want to stay there when you’re done?

    No, Japa!!

    Why? What do you not like about Dominica?

    It’s a small island and there’s just one major hospital here so there aren’t that many opportunities. They’re too relaxed over here and I fear that if I stay for too long, I might catch that complacency fever. 

    So they’re not hustlers?

    They close their banks by 2pm everyday of the week except Fridays when they close earlier. 

    Interesting. Coming from a hustling environment into a complacent one, how was fitting in for you?

    On my first day here, I didn’t eat. It was a public holiday and they don’t open stores during holidays. I just came in and there was no food anywhere so that was a major shock for me. My housemate that came before me had garri so we had to drink garri before we could get someone to bring food for us the next day. But I adjusted.

    Do a lot of tourists come around?

    They do. Cruise ships come around. There are some nice tourist attractions here. But I think I’ve only been to one or two. I’m too busy doing doctor stuff. It’s a different mindset when you come here specifically for a vacation. There wasn’t a lot of movement for a while because of COVID though

    How did the entire COVID-19 time play out?

    Everyone was super scared, but I loved how they tackled it. Once they heard about the first case, they closed the airport and seaport. The country didn’t have up to 50 cases because they acted fast. 

    What’s social life like in Dominica?

    They like partying on Fridays but I’m always indoors Netflix and chilling. 

    What’s one story you always like to tell people about your experience in Dominica?

    I felt the Earth shake.

    Whoa

    Last year. It wasn’t an earthquake, it was a tremor. I could feel the Earth shaking violently. It lasted for an entire day. It would just come and go. I was super scared. People were just going about their business like nothing was happening. They said “Oh it happens”.

    What do you miss the most about Nigeria?

    Food. Pounded yam. 

    Have you heard about the EndSars protests?

    Yes,  but haven’t they scrapped the unit now?

    They do that every year. Is there a buzz about it there

    Yes. A lot of Nigerians here are putting it on their WhatsApp statuses. But there are no marches. The Nigerian embassy is in Barbados. 

    Nice. How easy is it for you to go to other countries in the Caribbean?

    You’d have to take a plane. You need a visa.

    Ugh.

    One thing about living here that scares me is the roads. They are so tiny and slopey. And some drivers here are crazy.

    Apart from being a medicine student, what else do you do?

    I make cakes. I have a really nice customer base and I’m selling really well. I bake at home, so it’s easy for me. 

    Do you live alone?

    Yes, I’m supposed to have a roommate but she ran away. 

    What do you mean “ran away”?

    When COVID came, she Japa’d back to Canada. She’s Canadian. I wish I could easily do the same. I miss home. But the journey here cost about one million naira. And it took four days.  

  • 13 Things Only Nigerians Who Have Japa’d To Canada Can Relate To

    13 Things Only Nigerians Who Have Japa’d To Canada Can Relate To

    For a lot of Nigerians, the ultimate Nigerian Dream is to japa. Many people prefer to go to Canada, AKA ‘Abroad Nigeria’ and live with the rest of the Nigerians that are there.

    If you’ve successfully japa’d here are some of the things you can definitely relate to:

    1. When you start your visa processing

    “Oh Lord, I know I am a sinner. Please just this one time, have mercy on me. I will never sin again if you can just help me leave this country. I’m not proud o. I am begging you.”

    2. And when you finally receive your visa approval letter

    Nothing can ever top the joy that fills your heart when you finally receive the letter that releases you from the wicked clutches of your motherland.

    3. When you’re finally about to leave

    You’re crying and hugging your friends that you just told about your japa plans two weeks ago (You didn’t tell them earlier because the heart of man is desperately wicked and they could easily ruin your plans with black magic). Everyone is crying, but deep down, you cannot wait to get the hell out of… hell.

    4. And you can finally change your location

    As you wait for the airplane to take off, you remember that you have one more thing to do. You whip out your phone and you change your location on your Twitter bio to “Ontario, Canada”. Now it is official.

    5. You get there and the weather slaps you hard

    You’ve heard that the Canadian weather is cold but this was not what you expected. You can’t feel your fingers and your toes, but at least you know that you’re not the first Nigerian to ever move to Canada. We move.

    6. But at least it’s better than the Nigerian sun

    You remember the sun in Nigeria and you tell yourself you prefer the cold. Heaven is better than hell.

    7. When you hear a price in dollars and start converting it to naira

    “Wait, if this food is 25 CAD, how much will that be in naira? Are these people cheating me? There’s rice at home o.”

    8. When you realize there’s no pepper in their food

    Na so so ketchup and Poutine dem go dey chop. Even the foods that they call extra hot will be tasting like raw tomatoes. Where is the spice in this country?

    9. And Nigerian food is scarce as fuck

    “So you mean I can’t just step out of my house, walk down the street and find pounded yam? Which type of life is this, oh lord my father”

    10. When you finally find the African food market

    “Is that Panla? Goodness gracious, am I looking at plantain? Please tell me this is garri I’m touching with my bare hands? God, can I smell grounded pepper?”

    11. But the prices want to break your neck

    You’ll want to buy snails and when they call the prices for you, you’ll wonder if you asked for snails, or a Bugatti. It doesn’t help that the people who are selling Nigerian and African food over there are also really rude.

    12. When you’re in the supermarket and you hear someone speaking in a Nigerian accent

    “Oh my love, I am lonely. Let us meet over tea and talk about how cold the weather is, and then spend the rest of the time complaining about Nigeria.”

    13. When people at home automatically assume you’ve become a millionaire

    “Please send funds”

    If you want to read stories about Nigerians who have successfully Japa’d, check out our Abroad Life stack. You’ll learn a thing or two.


    [donation]

  • 5 Simple Ways To “Respect Yourself” At A Buffet

    5 Simple Ways To “Respect Yourself” At A Buffet

    For many Nigerians, their experiences at buffets rank highest as one of their most embarrassing moments. 

    Read: 5 Ways A Buffet Can Go Wrong In Nigeria

    From simple things like being overly shy because you now have to exercise your alimentary canal in front of everyone, to really serious buffet malfunctions like when a host tells you to return one of the pieces of meat on your plate, the struggle at buffets can be real. 

    Because we genuinely care about, we rounded up 5 quick things you can do at a buffet so people will feel you. Or do you want to de-rep yourself?

    1. Walk Around and Have a Good Look Of All The Foods On Offer

    Any first-class student knows it is important to read all the questions before diving in to answer three out of four questions. Note that I said any, I wasn’t one.

    Well, that’s the exact same way you should treat the foods on offer at a buffet. Walk around and have a good view of everything on offer. This way, you won’t order Chinese rice only to realise the basmati rice is more inviting.

    2. Don’t Reach Around Someone Else

    Repeat after me – “CHILL”. 

    Yes, chill. Don’t act like a protestdlum looting hoarded indomien in Jos.

    It’ll get to your turn, I’m sure. Just wait the queue, patiently.

    3. When It Does Get To Your Turn To Serve Yourself, Move Sleek

    Remember that time you took a cursory look of all the foods on display, well this is the time to act on the information you’ve gathered.  Don’t hover around the buffet table doing mini-mini-mani-mo.

    Move fast, move sleek. Serve yourself and keep it moving.

    4. Don’t Touch Any Food On The Serving Plate With Your Hand

    No, don’t. That’s plain unhygienic, and it doesn’t do well, health wise, for everyone else. So, “let’s not atlact curses to ourself”.

    Use the serving spoons provided to serve yourself, strictly.

    5. Turn Away From the Serving Table When You Need To Sneeze

    It needs not be said really. If you have reason to cough or sneeze, turn away from the serving table so that germs don’t spread to the meals.

    That way, everybody is safe.


    [donation]

  • 5 Queer Nigerians Talk About Their #EndSARS Protest Treatment

    5 Queer Nigerians Talk About Their #EndSARS Protest Treatment

    Although non-members of the LGBTQ+ community are harassed when profiled as “gay”, a lot of people believe that the QueerNigerianLivesMatter hashtag is unnecessary. Members of the LGBTQ+ community, like many Nigerians, are fighting for their right to exist. They are victims of police brutality. So, we spoke to some queer Nigerian protesters to tell us about how they’ve been treated at the protests. 

    Art by @moyicii on Twitter

    Elizabeth;19, Lagos

    It is the people that tell you that you are hijacking a movement that annoy me. Police brutality affects all of us. You hear stories of people being harassed for “looking gay”. No, they have no proof of these people’s sexuality, they just profile and stereotype them. Imagine how much danger actual gay people are in. The lives of queer Nigerians do matter. We need the world to know that during the fight to end police brutality, queer people showed up, and fought. People have threatened my life, threatened to rape me etc, but I would not stop.  

    Kunle; 21, Enugu

    In Enugu, it was mostly uneventful. I was not kicked out of the protest or anything, but people made horrible comments about my poster. Whenever they made their comments, I replied with “Queer lives matter”.

    Samantha; 20, Jos

    I went protesting for the women and the queers. When I was writing on the placard, a friend of mine told me that it was not the place, but I did not listen. They were the reasons I came out to protest anyway. People kept giving my placard double-takes. It was weird; the subtle aggression.

    Ayo; 21, Lagos

    In Lekki, I guess the protection came from numbers. We were a lot, so people could not really physically attack us. The moment we started taking up space, expressing ourselves, they had a problem. It was like they were telling us we could exist, but not too much.

    James; 22, online protester

    The thing with being harassed as an online protester is that people have the privilege of hiding behind their screen. They have told me to die and threatened to come kill me. Just for demanding that my life is as important as everyone else’s. 

    For more stories relating to the #EndSARS movement, please click here

  • 5 of The Best Things We Have Heard About Calabar

    5 of The Best Things We Have Heard About Calabar

    Just tired of staying in the same place? Want to explore? We compile 5 of the best things we have heard about Calabar.

    1. Richness in Culture

    Calabar culture is one of the richest cultures in Nigeria, varying from food, to dances to festivals and carnivals. You should give the city a visit.

    2. The Land of Carnivals

    Unarguably, no city comes close to Calabar with regards to festivals. The Calabar carnival is a festival of sorts. Excuse the pun.

    3. Exquisite Cuisines And Flavours

    Tired of the same meal? Go to Calabar for the smoked fish peppersoup, over even the famous Edikang-Ikong soup.

    4. The Best Dances and Dancers

    Ever heard of the Ekombi dance? You need to go Calabar to find out.

    5. The Stunning Girls

    From the stories, you can a whole Bible about Calabar girls. But regardless, we love them. And if you love them too, visit them.

    For your next read, 7 of the best things we have heard about living in Jos.

  • QUIZ: Only Brilliant Students Can Get 8/10 Without Using A Dictionary

    QUIZ: Only Brilliant Students Can Get 8/10 Without Using A Dictionary

    Only a true genius can match these words with the option that best defines them. Good luck!

  • The Naira Is In A Toxic Relationship With The Dollar. What Should You Do?

    The Naira Is In A Toxic Relationship With The Dollar. What Should You Do?

    Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.


    CTRL J – Japa

    Last Friday, Jason Njoku, the CEO of Video-on-Demand platform Iroko TV dropped a not-really-bombshell bombshell on Twitter. He announced via a blog post and Twitter threads that the tech company is fully exiting (read: leaving) Africa after so many years of losses and losses.

    Amidst a series of reasons about why the company loses about $300k monthly because of its Africa operations, Jason Njoku spoke of how the CBN Naira devaluations of this year and the previous years have greatly affected the business. For example, in 2015, a N3,000 annual plan was introduced for customers, which was converted at $18 (N166/$). In 2017, that N3,000 plan became $8.33 (N360/$). Today that N3,000 plan is $6.3 (N477/$). And there’s still more devaluation coming, allegedly.

    You can see what happens when a currency keeps falling to another. Money keeps leaving the table. Miraculously.

    Why Is The Naira Always Falling To The Dollar?

    One phrase – Demand Imbalance.

    Nigerians generally need dollars to meet a lot of obligations – including for international school fees, business travels, medical expenses, international airlines tickets, student maintenance allowance, including the importation of crucial raw materials.

    What’s more? There is no actual dollars to meet those demands. Our traditional means of gaining dollars which gives us 90% of foreign exchange earnings is through the sale of crude oil, but the Covid-19 pandemic means we are selling less oil for even lesser prices.

    Our other sources are all depleted at this time. The Forex reserves which is supposed to serve as a buffer in these times has a little over $36 billion dollars in its coffers, an amount certainly not enough to bridge the dollar demand gap.

    All of this means that when the market smells a dollar scarcity, traders begin to hoard the dollar. The price then goes up and and you need more Naira to buy it. The Naira’s bandwidth is then widened through devaluation to allow for a purchase of dollars, and cycle continues.

    How Will You Survive These Times?

    Tbh, we don’t know. You can send a mail to Godwin.Emefiele@cbn.gov, or pray that oil prices miraculously begin to trade for around $70 and above. But, reading all of our Naira Life stories is a good place to start. May the force be with you, and with us.

    Check back every weekday by 10am for more Zikoko Citizen stories.

  • #Politics101: Sanwo-Olu Says Schools Can Resume, And More

    #Politics101: Sanwo-Olu Says Schools Can Resume, And More

    1. Time To Go And Meet Your Favorite Lecturer

    You, yes you. You have had peace of mind for the last 6 months. But in the next three weeks you will try to submit your assignment after the deadline and someone will shout “Will you get out of my office?!”

    Why? Because the Governor of Lagos State, Babajide Sanwo-Olu has directed the re-opening of academic activities in the State, as from September 14. This resumption will be for tertiary institutions in the State, after which primary and Secondary schools in the state can resume from September 21 – subject to continuing review.

    Sanwo-Olu made the statement at the Lagos State Marina House while addressing Lagosians on report from lockdown restrictions. He also said tourism and hospitality businesses will open shortly.

    For more on our campus stories, read Aluta and Chill.

    2. Conjoined Twins Separated, Again, In Yola

    The Federal Medical Center Yola has successfully separated another set of conjoined twins, the third time since 2013 and 2018.

    These conjoined twins were brought from Yenogoa, in Bayelsa State, and are children of Mr Raphael Ayebaiemi and Mrs Godsgift Ibiyyefa who are unemployed secondary school leavers.

    The twins were airlifted by the Nigerian Air Force back back to Bayelsa State, after they had initially been taken to Yola free of charge by the same Nigerian Air Force.

    The Mother of the twins has also stated that the successful operation saved her from being called a witch and an evil person.

    3. Ghana Replies Nigeria: “This You?”

    The Ghanaian Information Minister, Kojo Nkrumah, has replied his Nigerian counterpart, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, stating that Ghana is committed to maintaining friendly relations with all of its sister countries, including Nigeria.

    Recall that issues like the demolition of the Nigerian High Commission building in Ghana and the exhorbitant licence fees charged on Nigerian traders are among some of the issues causing the row between the two countries.

    The minister said the land of the high commission was not demolished by the government but by the “Osu stool”, and that the Ghanaian President will speak to Buhari on friendly relations between the two countries.

    Check back every weekday by 10am for more Zikoko Citizen stories.

  • 8 Foods That Show Your Status In Secondary School

    8 Foods That Show Your Status In Secondary School

    It is break time in SS2C. Kunle goes out to buy Sausage while Charles buys biscuits. Well, you already know who the bigger boy is between the both of them, and, importantly, who pulls more chicks.

    We round up foods that showed you were a big boy/girl in secondary school:

    1. Sausage

    Sausage was the GOAT. A chow fit for the biggest students atop the social strata.

    2. Corn Flakes

    You certainly couldn’t have been a big boy or girl without feeding on cornflakes. Never.

    3. Samosa

    God bless Samosa. AMEN.

    4. Bread and Egg (Contraband)

    Ah, bread and egg was for the most criminal elements in secondary school. If you ate it consistently, you are Kirikiri material.

    5. Indomie and Egg (Contraband)

    Another banned meal, considering that most students weren’t allowed to cook. If you actually made Indomie and egg as a student, you can survive Nigeria.

    6. Spring rolls

    Spring rolls was big boy/girl chow. End of.

    7. Cabin Biscuit

    Yktv. Pour into a bowl and add water, milk, sugar. Legendary.

    8. Ghana Buns

    Ah, I saved the best for last. By far the best buns I’ve tasted. If you didn’t have this in Secondary school, I’m sorry.

  • 4 Advantages And Disadvantages Of Keeping Your Relationship Off Social Media

    4 Advantages And Disadvantages Of Keeping Your Relationship Off Social Media

    When you have a following on social media, your life somehow becomes content for your followers. Some people like to keep some parts of their lives private, especially their relationships. Here are 4 prime advantages and disadvantages of keeping your relationship off social media;

    1. Nobody knows your boo so nobody can drag you or your boo but on the other hand, your boo could have another boo on the same timeline.

    zikoko - Advantages And Disadvantages Of Keeping Your Relationship Off Social Media

    And you will both be gbamming and retweeting each other’s posts.

    2. People can’t make your relationship their business but at the same time, people will think your boo is a hallucination that only exists in your head.

    zikoko - Advantages And Disadvantages Of Keeping Your Relationship Off Social Media

    The can’t stay in your business if they don’t know the address fam.

    3. The mystery might be sexy but the mystery is also fishy.

    zikoko - Advantages And Disadvantages Of Keeping Your Relationship Off Social Media

    People like to know what/who exactly they are chanting “awwwww’ and “God when” for.

    4. You can see your boo flirting but you will have to waka pass.

    zikoko - Advantages And Disadvantages Of Keeping Your Relationship Off Social Media

    But on the flip side, you can also stay busy flirting and collecting gifts from anon.

    You should read this too; 5 Most Ridiculous Relationship Tests Nigerian Women Have To Pass

  • We Need To Talk About The Crime of Defilement

    We Need To Talk About The Crime of Defilement

    At some point, Nigeria will have to declare a national emergency on the crime of defilement.

    For starters, I actually thought “defilement” was just another sensational term used on newspaper headlines, but it actually is a criminal offence. Section 137 of the Lagos Criminal Law (2015), for instance, prescribes an imprisonment for life for anyone convicted on the offence of “Defilement of a child”.

    And yes, a lot of defilement has been going on in Nigeria.

    Meet Prophet Idowu And Other Annointed Men of God

    On Wednesday, the Lagos State Police Command arraigned a Nduka Anyanwu before the State Magistrate Court in Yaba for allegedly impregnating two sisters of, guess their age – 13 and 17 years. Anyanwu who is a Pastor was said to have slept with the girls on multiple times, impregnating them in the process. Worst thing is that the mother of the girl refused the arrest because he’s a Pastor and he promised to marry one of them.

    Meanwhile, there is a Prophet Idowu of the “Victorious Sacred Solemn Healing and Deliverance Ministry” who was arrested in February 2016 for “putting two sisters in the family way” (kinda thing you say to clear your conscience when you want to put rat poison in someone’s tea). This man also wanted to sell the victim’s father’s property – but one crime per pastor a day. Ahan.

    There is also Prophet Ebenezer Ajigbotoluwa, founder and General Overseer of the Church of Lord who was arrested for defiling and impregnating two sisters, this same August. This one allegedly told a family of six to move into the church premises to avoid being ‘afflicted’ by the same sickness, after which he started afflicting the family’s girls of ages 13 and 16.

    And there’s Pastor Jeremiah Godman Iziduh of the House of David Full Gospel Church who held a widow and her five daughters captive in Edo State, impregnated two of the girls while claiming that they were sown as seeds to his church by their late father (and so he sowed his seeds to them?). He also collected the documents of every property left by the late father and husband, and claimed that they were all sown as seeds to his church.

    Things Are Happening

    Look, there’s many more of these things happening in Nigeria. And its really not just Pastors. Terrible men are really destroying the lives of Nigerian girls by sleeping with them, getting them pregnant, and destroying their chances of proper education and a good future. And if that’s not a menace then I don’t know what is.

    Meanwhile, let me go and look for the sex story of another Prophet Bartholomew Endurance Izanga. I’m sure there’s one out there. There always is.

  • What A Man’s Reaction To A Flying Cockroach Says About Him In Bed

    What A Man’s Reaction To A Flying Cockroach Says About Him In Bed

    The general reaction when we think or talk about cockroaches is disgust. However, meeting a flying roach in person is a whole different ball game. Ladies, this is what a man’s reaction to a flying cockroach says about him in bed. Don’t try to understand the inference, I am about to drop some nuggets so pay close attention.

    The Squealer

    If you’ve ever heard a squeal born of fright, you’d know how annoying they can be. So, if a man squeals from seeing a flying roach you know that he is submissive in bed. He’s the type that would call you mistress and ask you to spit on him so he can orgasm faster. Congratulations, you get to be a Dom.

    The Screamer

    Please note that there is a difference between a squealer and a screamer. One is shrill and short while the other is a lot harsher. The screamer will most likely dominate you. There are so much pent up emotions in him that his default reaction to terror is a scream. Sis, that man will tie you up and beat you like you stole his edibles. 

    The Hider

    This man when faced with a flying roach will quickly try and hide behind you, using you as a shield between himself and pure evil. Honey, you will do all the work in bed. This one will just lie down and tell you to ride him while he does absolutely nothing. You will find yourself doing the most while he reaps the fruit of your ride-or-die labour.

    The stand and stare

    Any man who freezes in front of you when faced with a flying cockroach cums quickly. For men like this, certain experiences always overwhelm them to the point that they are helpless. Even if it’s just dirty talk, oga will get there. 

    The pursue and fight

    First off, this man is a serial killer or a ritualist. The only reason anyone’s first reaction to a flying roach is to chase and kill it is that they face a greater evil every day. What is a greater evil than a flying cockroach if not satan? This man is well versed with the act of harvesting organs. They are the ones that will promise to shift your womb and you will be chuckling. Sis, chuckle in danger cause he means that shit. You’re about to die from great sex and later, rituals. Stay woke. 

    For more content, read 5 Women Tip Men On Taking The Perfect Nudes.

  • “Hay God, Will I Be Paying More For Electricity By September?”

    “Hay God, Will I Be Paying More For Electricity By September?”

    I’m already broke from all the girls I’m chasing, and so I’m really concerned if we will actually be paying more for electricity by September. But it turns out there’s no answer on Obasanjo’s internet for that. In fact, the more you look, the less you see – even if you’re wearing binoculars.

    Backstory

    So reports filtered in early Wednesday morning that the President had approved electricity tariff increase by September 1. Now, an electricity tariff increase was supposed to have gone ahead by April 1 this year, but it was moved to July because of the economic challenges caused by the Covid 19 pandemic and the opinion that Nigerians were cash-strapped (or broke) at the moment. The July tariff increase was later postponed to the first quarter of 2021 after the National Assembly met with the regulators and concluded that the “time was not right” because of, again, economic challenges caused by Covid 19.

    Multi-Year Tariff Order

    You may be wondering what soil these tariff increases grow from, and how they come about? Well, according to the Electric Power Sector Reform Act which was enacted in 2005 after NEPA was unbundled (bet you still say “UP NEPA”), the National Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC) is empowered by Section 76 of the Act to establish a methodology for determining electricity tariffs within the Nigerian Electricity Supply Industry.

    The NERC subsequently came up with what they called the “Multi Year Tariff Order” which is basically a 15 year effective pricing plan for Nigeria’s electricity industry, subject to review every 5 years – accounting for inflation, interest rates, exchange rates and generation capacity.

    The last tariff increase was in 2015 and the next one was supposed to be this year – 2020. However: “men plan and Covid plans, but Covid is the best of planners”.

    “And the borrower shall be a servant of the lender”

    Ordinarily, and going by the facts above, we shouldn’t be seeing any electricity tariff increase till the first quarter of 2020 – which means I can go on with my lau lau spending. But Nigeria wants a $3 billion loan from the World Bank, and electricity tariff increases are reportedly part of World Bank’s conditions for giving this money. That meins, we die there.

    I mean, the release from the NERC yesterday night says it all. The government does not want to increase electricity tariffs, but it also wants to fulfill loan conditions, and so it has come out with an ambiguous statement on how there will be no tariffs for the “poor and vulnerable” and how Buhari has directed an end to estimated billing and has ordered mass metering. The communique by NERC also stated the tariff increases will be conducted by the DISCOS on per customer basis. But when, at what specific price and at which electricity customer class, we still do not know.

    All of this reminds me of the exact same issue we have with PMS where fuel subsidies have been removed but fuel prices are still being regulated. Instead of us to fix the underlying issues in a sector, we will rather paper the cracks. “Nigeria – my country, my country”.

    Check back every weekday by 10am for more Zikoko Citizen stories.

  • 5 Reasons Baby Milk Is Important When Adulting

    5 Reasons Baby Milk Is Important When Adulting

    Look, life can be hard, especially when you’re adulting. Breakups, rent money, traffic, job stress, parent wahala, and all such other bad things can suck your blood pretty easily, leaving you looking like a Internally Displaced Person.

    We curate 5 reasons adult milk might just be good for you:

    1. It Can Help Make You Fatter

    Baby milk is very high in fat. So yes, if you look thin from Lagos traffic, you can try it.

    2. It Can Help Strengthen Your Bones

    Baby milk contains heavy protein and calcium, so yes, if the bus conductor has knocked out of your teeth for lack of change, try it. You might just grow a new one.

    3. It Can You Post-Workout To Rehydrate and Fuel Your Muscles

    Baby milk is a good post-workout beverage. If you’re looking for something to drink post-workout, try it.

    4. It Can Help Make You Feel Like A Child Again

    Need I say more? Nothing screams rebel like drinking baby milk.

    5. You Are Empowered Under The Law To Drink Whatever You Like

    Duh. SARS won’t carry you on handicap. Drink whatever you want to drink. You are guided.

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  • How To Easily Survive Lagos

    How To Easily Survive Lagos

    LEAVE LAGOS.

    FLEE THE CITY.

    RUN.

    JAPA

    ABSCOND.

    GET OUT.

    JUST GOOOOOO.

    Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. For more tips on surviving your abusive relationship with Lagos state, read our Lagos archives.

    For more reasons to leave, read Why Are We Still Living In Lagos?

    If you still want to live in Lagos after reading this then you are addicted to suffering and strife and deserve the hell you call home.

  • FFK’s Video Is Proof That APC and PDP Should Be Thrown Away

    FFK’s Video Is Proof That APC and PDP Should Be Thrown Away

    If you haven’t seen the video, find it below, but yes, Femi Fani-Kayode (FFK) really showed the darkest side to him when a Journalist asked him if his recent visit to Cross River and other PDP states were being sponsored, or “bankrolled”.

    The thing is, there’s too many things that can be taken away from this horrific video, including the utter disrespect that many politicians have for Nigerian Journalists and the overbloated ego of a political class that don’t even think they are bigger than the laws of the land, but that they are in fact the laws of the land.

    But what is an even bigger takeaway from this video, for me, is the fact that Nigerians must starting thinking of political parties different from the APC and the PDP, starting from yesterday. If FFK had not been beautifully caught on camera, he would have continued to join the rest of the country in condemning Buhari against Press freedom and so many other things. Alas, he’s just another closet tyrant who is incapable of handling the slightest taste of power.

    We really just need a new orientation about things. We need leadership that is humane. We need political leaders who are careful of their words, especially in public. We need political leaders who are not power drunk, even when not in power. We need political leaders who will carefully explain issues when they feel slighted, or even excuse the meeting when their emotions are on the line.

    We need a lot of really good political leadership in Nigeria. But I doubt we can get it from anybody in APC or PDP. From anybody we have around right now. Sadly, really.

    Check back everyday by 10am for more Zikoko Citizen stories.

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