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Yesterday Aunty Oby declared her bid to run for presidency. Now, this might be the best news we’ve gotten since Burna Boy dropped Ye (our new national anthem).
As expected what is likely to follow after this announcement is a slew of interviews and press runs.
So here’s a public service announcement for all the members of the Nigerian Press. There are a thousand and one questions we should be asking Oby Ezekwesili right now, but they shouldn’t include any of these.
May we meet you?
So what we will call your husband if you win? Is it first husband?
If you become president where will you find the time to be cooking for your husband/will you still be cooking for your husband?
What does your husband think of you running for presidency?
Do you think Nigeria is ready for a female president? Don’t you think you should wait a few years for your turn?
Don’t you think you’d stand a better chance running alongside a man as Vice President?
You can never win, so why are you running?
So if you win how are you going to balance being president with your family life?
If you become president, how do you think it’ll affect your home?
Do you think as a woman you are up to the task of being president?
Did you ask for your husband’s permission before you declared?
What of your pastor? Did you ask for his permission?
As a woman do you think you have what it takes to become the president of Nigeria?
You know you should be asking? About her plans to fix the country’s debt situation, or how she’s going to provide more jobs, or improve national security. Thanks and God bless.
See, Fuji House Of Commotion was everything! Refreshingly hilarious with great actors and the catchiest theme song, Amaka Igwe really made my childhood with this. In fact, it’s still one of the funniest Nigerians comedy TV shows to this day. These are some of the funniest episodes!
The one where Ireti, Peace, Mama Moji and the children decided to move into ‘Aso Rock’ with Ireti and Chief.
The one where ‘kitchen practical’ prepared ‘Osramo Branus Mangus’ for the house to eat.
The one where Peaceful Peace jacked Ireti’s week with Chief.
The one where Mama Moji and Peaceful Peace redefined the art of being shady.
The one where Peace showed us how it feels to get ready for a night with bae and get stood up and the best way to handle it.
The one where ASUU went on strike and Chief’s children came home and started their own strike too and locked their parents out of the house for four days.
The one where Mama Moji, Ireti and Peace decided to spoil Chief for Valentine’s day. With absolutely no ulterior motives.
One of the many episodes where Ireti had to fight for her week with Chief.
These are just the episodes I remember o. I know there are a lot more, so share with us some of your favourite Fuji House Of Commotion episodes! Tweet us @zikokomag!
Bet you didn’t know Shop 10 is just a nickname and Glamos Rarebits is the real name of this legendary food place, From when it was known as Shop 2 in Red Bricks, to when it became known as Shop 10 behind Jaja Hostel, Glamos is most famous for one thing – it’s Jollof rice which is arguably one of the best in Lagos.
Mavise
For many people, Mavise was considered to be Shop 10’s number one rival. Although I personally thought Shop 10 served the best jollof rice, Mavise fans would beg to differ.
Salado
Like the name might connote, you already know that Salado is all about making great, fresh salads. It’s funny how people found a way to combine their salads with anything they were eating from rice to chips to even beans.
Ewa-agoyin Palace
Eating ewa-agoyin in any other place in UNILAG is unheard of. Ever had ewa-agoyin you don’t even want to eat your mum’s own again? That’s how good it is. In fact, there were many a people who thought she was adding a bit of jazz to the mix.
Iya Moria
Iya Moria started off at Ozolua before expanding to DLI. Anyone who stayed in those areas ate her food on a daily basis.
Olaiya
Even though they only opened their UNILAG branch in 2015, it didn’t take too long for Olaiya to become a household name for UNILAG students. Known for their fire amala and gbegiri, there’s no way you’d pass through UNILAg without stopping for their food.
Every day as you scroll through your feed the odds are you are going to see one or two posts of instrapreneurs being dragged to shreds by dissatisfied customers. Often for good reason too.
What you’ll order vs what you’ll get.
Or perhaps even you who’s currently reading this has fallen victim. Maybe even more than once. You’ve also most likely told yourself you’d rather die than shop on Instagram again.
But that’s easier said than done. Every time you open your page to see how many likes your recent selfie just got, or what your ex and her new boyfriend are up to, you are bound to see something you like. A really cool phone case to prevent the screen that just broke from getting broken again, or a seemingly really good tailor to help you sew the aso-ebi one co-worker just forced you to buy.
So how do you avoid the vendors who are out to scam you? By looking out for these signs.
Anyone using stock photos or photos obviously pulled from other websites.
With pages like this, it’s always one of two things. It’s either you pay for the item and never get it or you order this and get this.
You can’t find any evidence that the vendor has ever made an actual sale.
No customer reviews, no comments from people who have actually bought stuff, nothing.
Their prices are suspiciously low.
You too how can you pay 150k for the new iPhone Xs and expect it to come. It’s not as if it’s a sale or a giveaway, that’s the normal price.
The account has 10k followers but you are seeing only 12 likes and 0 comments on posts.
They definitely bought their followers. Flee.
There are too many underscores in the Instagram handle.
Any Instagram vendor with a handle like @ladies_beauty_fashion_boutique_nigeria, is definitely a scammer. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
If the page has only ten posts or a hundred posts that suddenly went up over a 48 hour period. Be wary.
Don’t let your case be one of had I known.
Everyone is calling the vendor out for being dubious.
Just last week you saw the handle trending for making the discount version of Ebuka’s agbada for someone and you still carried your cloth to give the person. You are the architect of your own misfortune.
After noticing one or more of these signs, they tell you to send money to a random account before you get what you want.
That’s one chance. You’ve just dashed someone’s son or daughter money for no reason.
Do you have a story about Instagram scammers or do you know anyone who has one? Please share so that they don’t scam us too.
I’m convinced that youth is a thing of the mind; you can be young, yet feel quite old. It all depends on your lifestyle and how you take care of yourself.
Whether you’d like to admit it or not, many things are going to change in your 20s – your body will change and your responsibilities to yourself and others will change. Relationships will grow and die, money stress becomes more real, and your life really becomes your responsibility.
Although this decade can feel like you’re independent and consequence-free, how you spend your 20s will have a massive impact on the rest of your life.
So, I’m going to give you seven highly underrated tips to help you maintain a balanced, inspired life.
Stop eating junk
It’s so unfair, I know. When you can finally afford to eat all the junk you want and not be told off by your parents, you have to stop? Unfortunately, junk food only puts toxins in your body. The older you get, the slower your body can get rid of toxins.
Try to include healthier food into your diet like fruits and vegetables. Looking young even while young takes work.
Drink more water
In your 20s, it’s very easy for your fluid options to start to range between coffee for energy, soft drinks for refreshment and alcohol for fun. Please don’t do this. Remember the toxins.
Drinking one to two litres of water every day can help maintain your energy levels, improve your mood, prevent headaches, help with weight loss and better your skin. Take care of yourself.
Exercise regularly
The older you get, the harder it is to exercise. It’s easier shedding that extra Christmas 5kg than it is trying to lose an accumulated 20kg. Trust me, I know. The older you get, the slower your metabolism gets, and the harder you have to work to keep everything together.
You don’t have to pass out at the gym; you just need to incorporate some physical activity into your daily routine. Health is the most important thing.
Get regular health checks
Taking care of your health at this age cannot be overemphasized. Ít’ll make the rest of your life easier. Always remember to get medical and dental check-ups every once in a while. Your body is fully developed in your 20s, and so are your teeth.
If you’re stuck with the same teeth for the rest of your life, you’re going to want to take care of them early, before repairing years of neglect becomes even more expensive. Same goes for your body.
Protect yourr skin
The gif above is literally what the sun does to your skin over time, regardless of your race. Your skin is not going to remain supple and wrinkle-free forever – especially if you don’t protect it.
Use sunscreen, moisturise, drink water and mind your business – your glow is going to be insane.
Read more books
Reading is so essential for growth! It broadens your horizon and helps you think of things from a new perspective. Challenge yourself to read as many books as possible, even if it’s fiction.
You can set a goal of one book a month. There’s a lot to be learned from them, and they’re fun.
Set standards
It’s important to use your 20s to learn about yourself and set standards. Whether from a relationship or job, it’s vital to know what you are willing to accept or tolerate, lest you fall victim to people that would end up doing nothing for you.
Don’t settle; you have your whole life ahead of you.
Have any other life hacks for twenty-somethings? Drop a comment or tweet us @zikokomag.
The Nigerian economy is hella tough these days, and spending money on frivolities is a no.
However, even though it can be, dating is not always a waste. How else do you want to get to know somebody more intimately?
And even though this brother and his girlfriend consider spending five thousand naira on a date outrageous, that’s not the case.
I took my lady to the movies one time.. 2 tickets, hot dog and drinks..everything 5k..as I was bringing out the 5k, she slapped my hand and told me she would rather use 2k to make soup with plenty meat and use 3k to buy fuel for the week. Fam! My heart melted
It’s not a lot of money these days. Still, you can go on a romantic date for N5000 or under. Let me show you how.
Go to the movies
Movie dates are a perfect date idea. They’re cosy and they give you and your date something to talk about.
The best part is, they’re also cheap, at least depending on what you’re buying. The trick to enjoying this date with 5k is to be assertive and forward. No too much asking “what do you want?” when you get to the counter.
Just go on discount days, grab popcorn and drinks. Good to go at 5k.
Have a picnic
Picnics are a creative, fun date idea. You enjoy a nice view, food and each other’s uninterrupted company. Picnics are also entirely customizable to your budget. I know you’re thinking, ‘where on earth can I go for a picnic?’ For my Lagos people, you can go to this quiet little beach in Lekki called Marwa. Gate fee is N300. If you’re paying for two, you still have N4400 to buy food and drinks. Choose wisely, and enjoy your date.
Grab a pizza
You can’t go wrong with pizza, and that’s a fact.
It is delicious, filling, and it makes everyone happy. You can decide to share some happiness with your date and grab a medium-sized pizza. You can also get soft drinks or ice cream and still sit under the 5k cap. It will be an extra cute and bonding moment as you guys share your N5000 meal. Remember to go half-and-half when picking pizza toppings!
Get drinks
Not every date should be about food. Perhaps you just want to spend some time together and neither of you is particularly hungry. What to do? Get drinks, of course. Especially if you two enjoy alcoholic beverages.
It’s a wonderful way to loosen up and get to know each other. Many nice places will give you two cocktails for less than ₦5000, and still leave you with enough money for Suya.
Go to an art gallery/museum
If art and history is your thing, you should totally go to an art gallery. There are many in Lagos.
Apart from the beauty of the art, the best thing about art galleries is that they are mostly free. You can buy snacks or drinks to your heart’s desire. Under 5k of course.
You can also take the nice pictures for priceless memories.
Everything about living in Lagos is an extreme sport.
But if you think you’ve seen the worst of Lagos, I’m here to tell you that you haven’t if you’ve never gone house hunting in Lagos.
Asides finding a place that’s close to work, or has small light, we’ve figured out what the hardest things about house hunting in Lagos are and how to hack them.
We’ve got you.
Everyone starts house hunting in Lagos with a ‘strict’ budget and lofty expectations.
At the end of the day, one must give way for the other.
So brace yourself. House hunting in Lagos doesn’t respect your pocket or feelings. If you’re still in the comfort of your parents’ house, now might be the time to reconsider this your move. If you have strong head, carry on.
First hack is to lower your expectations.
You might think if you are patient and thorough enough, you might find the place of your dreams. You won’t.
You’re only going to end up getting the least horrible of the thousand and one listings you’ll check out.
Any agent that wants to collect money from you per house you view is a scammer.
Find one or two reliable agents, preferably agents who come with a referral from someone you know and pay a one time fee.
Because all agents do is lie and waste your time, also look through property listing sites.
Pick out the least disgusting looking houses and set up viewings with the agents.
Remember I told you to lower your expectations? Oya take them even lower because those listings you found on tolet.ng and co are going to look nothing like the pictures you saw on the website.
If this house looks like this on the website…
…this is probably what it really looks like.
If you find a place that isn’t a hundred percent complete, please don’t drop any money.
You’d think this would go without saying but these Lagos landlords lie more than the devil himself and they’ll try and deceive you. Maybe they haven’t connected the light or they’ve been meaning to put a borehole or they haven’t painted. Once you pay, daizzit. Two months on and you’ll be there begging the landlord to put toilet in your bathroom.
You know the only other person on earth who lies more than landlords? Agents.
They’ll say whatever it takes to get you to pay for that house. If the road is bad, Ambode is coming to fix it next week. No light in the area? They’ve already bought new transformer your agent saw it with his own two eyes.
Before you pay your rent, you should try and meet the landlord, especially if you’ve been dealing exclusively with the agent.
Don’t let anyone come and wake you up in the middle of the night with eviction notice, after you’ve supposedly paid rent.
Don’t move into a house without a borehole.
They’ll tell you that Lagos state supplies the house with water and its reliable. Don’t be deceived, you’ll only end up buying water from mallams until you leave that house.
Ask about the old tenants.
Nothing beats getting to rent a brand new house in Lagos but the odds are slim. So if you get a house that has been lived in, first thing to do is ask about the tenants who lived in the house before. If there is no prepaid meter, make sure they’ve not left NEPA bill gbese for you to pay.
If you survive house hunting in Lagos, you can survive it anywhere really. And also, what tips have we left out?
Nigerians are woke these days – at least that’s what you’d think if you stumbled onto, and got lost in social media.
The truth is, a lot of us are not. We are naturally loud and extremely assertive, so when we talk it’s easy enough to believe we are authorities on the matter. However, even though a lot of us claim woke, we don’t deeply understand certain issues.
Because the lines are so blurry, what does ‘woke’ mean, anyway?
I love thisUrban Dictionary definition of woke; “getting woke is like being in the Matrix and taking the red pill. You get a sudden understanding of what’s really going on and find out you were wrong about much of what you understood to be truth.” In simpler terms, it means to become aware of the problems in our society and the factors that contribute to them. You ‘wake’ up to the realization that some of our traditions, culture, societal structure and interactions are problematic. The impact of wokeness in Nigeria is however limited by ‘fake wokeness’. What is fake woke, you ask? Fake woke people are those who aren’t directly affected by or understand certain social issues, but still argue blindly in favour of the problem. They are the opposing voice, creating doubt and slowing down progress.
Can wokeness be learned?
Yes, it can. Ironically, when supposedly enlightened people tell ‘ignorant’ people to read a book, it’s actually not (just) an insult. You can actually find the answers to life in books. We’ve put together a reading list of African books which attack social issues to get you started.
1. Female marginalisation: So Long A Letter – Mariama Bâ
An inspiring story of feminine strength, So Long A Letter is written as a series of letters between Ramatoulaye and her best friend Aissatou, after Ramatoulaye’s estranged husband dies from a heart attack. While observing mirasse, (a forty-day period of isolation and mourning) Ramatoulaye keeps a diary which she sends her friend. This book explores a woman’s place in developing West African society. Ba wants this novel to encourage women take responsibility for their lives. The letter format pulls you in, making the book feel extremely personal.
2. Government incompetence: The Trouble With Nigeria – Chinua Achebe
This is a great book for Nigerians, but the problems therein apply to a lot of African countries. The Trouble With Nigeria takes a look at Nigeria’s major problem which according to Achebe is leadership–or the lack of it. Leadership is used as the launching pad to dissect many Nigerian problems: tribalism, lack of patriotism, social injustice, the cult of mediocrity, indiscipline and corruption.
3. Social disintegration: Things Fall Apart – Chinua Achebe
Rich in cultural history, Things Fall Apart tells a captivating story of a traditional Igbo man who, though living in a rapidly changing Africa, refuses to accept British imperialists and missionaries. Achebe describes the daily life of the Igbo by telling the story Okonkwo and passes on key points about the Igbo culture. This book details how the way of life of the British crept into traditional Igbo society, and exposes the corruption and oppression that was perpetuated.
4. Sexual harassment/rape: Rape: A South African Nightmare – Pumla Dineo Gqola
Using examples from the past and present, Rape: A South African Nightmare takes on various aspects of rape culture in South Africa. It does so by focusing on the patterns and trends of rape culture and asking what can be learned from famous cases. This book analyses the fact that public responses to rape are characterised by doubt. It also asks penetrating questions about female fear factor, boy rape, the rape of black lesbians and more.
5. Mental health: Freshwater – Akwaeke Emezi
Freshwater is Akwaeke Emezi’s daring debut novel that was shortlisted for The Center For Fiction First Novel Prize, 2018. This book paints a profound picture of what it’s like to mentally be between worlds by exploring the life of Ada, a Nigerian girl who was a little “different” from other children. She was a challenging child for her parents, who were constantly concerned about her fractured existence. Throughout her life, Ada speaks through her various selves (which is framed within the Igbo tradition of ogbanje). Freshwater takes on challenging topics such as identity, mental illness, self-harm, sexual assault, suicide, and more.
6. Yahoo-Yahoo: I Do Not Come To You By Chance – Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani
Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani’s debut novel, I Do Not Come To You By Chance won the 2010 Wole Soyinka Prize for Literature in Africa and the 2010 Commonwealth Writers’ Prize for Best First Book in Africa. This is a very insightful contemporary African novel centered around a young man burdened with responsibility. It details the lengths he goes to provide for his family, which takes us into the world of email scams AKA Yahoo-Yahoo and into the lives of the people behind them.
7. Gender roles and inequality – Male Daughters, Female Husbands: Gender and Sex In An African Society – Ify Amadiume
Male Daughters, Female Husbands explores the imposition of Western life onto West African society. This book does a fantastic job of outlining the new gender reality created by the impression of European Christian values on a traditionally matrilineal Igbo society. Amadiume details a rich history of economic and social power that West African women held, and how they’ve have found themselves disadvantaged compared to their male counterparts since the early 1900s. This is a must-read for every woman.
8. Abuse and domestic violence: Purple Hibiscus – Chimamanda Adichie
Longlisted by the Booker Prize in 2004, and shortlisted for the Orange Prize For Fiction that same year, Purple Hibiscus has garnered a lot of acclaim. This is a captivating book that handles abuse in a most delicate way. This book is focused on Kambili and her family, and what they endure for the sake of religion and family values. It shows the disintegration of her family unit and the unimaginable effects of abuse.
If you’ve read any of these books, what do you think about them? Which other books would you recommend?
But I already did all this in government and history. Ha!
“Me I’m done with school and whatever has to do with it please”
Okay okay, since you’re a scholar and you know Nigeria’s history, let me put you to a test.
Very short.
I’m going to state some facts about Nigeria’s former presidents.
If you know all of them, then true true, you deserve accolades and don’t need this post.
Nnamdi Azikiwe was Nigeria’s first head of state.
No, we didn’t know that. *eyeroll*
What you don’t know though, is that a lot of people considered him ‘not human’. Like a spirit. Why?
It was said that he had an encounter with a woman when he was younger, he helped her carry her load.
She was grateful and asked what he wanted in return, he said he wanted wisdom and power.
The story says that she cut Azikiwe into pieces and boiled. Then brought him back to life possessing those things. Abrakadabra! Zik is Powerful.
Major General Agunyi Ironsi was the next Head of State. He ruled from January 1966 to July 1966.
But how did this man become Head of state?
A man named Nwafor Orinzu, was acting president while Azikiwe was absent. Ironsi then forced all the members of that governance to resign at gun point.
Nigeria was actually wild o.
General Ironsi was killed after having a short taste of power and General Yakubu Gowon took over. He promised he would hand power over to the civilian rule after a while, then he changed his mind.
This obviously made the civilians angry.
About a year later, his overthrow was announced. Just like that. Gowon didn’t fight back, he carried his load and went to the United Kingdom.
He settled down and got a Phd in Political science from the University of Warwick. The Nigerian dream.
Up next is Murtala Mohammed who is till date one of the most famous presidents in Nigeria’s history. Not just because he’s on the 20 naira note and the airport in Lagos is named after him, but because he was a genuinely good man.
He brought the words “fellow Nigerians” and “with immediate effect” to the national lexicon. A whole legend.
We could write 5 books about Olusegun Obasanjo’s history. His significance in Nigeria’s economic growth at the time just can’t be ignored. But we’d get to that some other time.
For now, it’s important to know that without Obasanjo, there will be no EFCC. He also got the Paris and London clubs to pardon Nigeria of debt of $18billion. Thank you sir.
Some years later, Obasanjo became president again. So we don’t gonna go back to this, just write it in the corner of your note.
He was the first person to have done that.
Shehu Shagari became Head of State after Obasanjo stepped down. Before going into power, this man was a serious academician.
He was a science teacher in Sokoto, for years. Later, he moved to Zaria middle school to continue, then became a headmaster in a primary school at Argungu. And eventually, Headmaster of Nigeria!
Next person on this list is our current president, Muhammadu Buhari, who was also head of state in 1983.
Let’s start with the fact that he has 22 siblings. I mean his father single handedly produced 23 children. Actually, that’s all I should say.
General Ibrahim Babangida, who took over in 1985, was one hell of a man.
People used to call this man Maradona because he kept dribbling Nigerians. Promising continuously to hand over to a democratic government and well, never did.
I’m going to talk very shortly on this next person because his reign was just as short. Ernest Shonekan.
He ruled Nigeria for 3 months in 1993 then Sani Abacha swept him away.
After Uncle Ernest, Sani Abacha became president. And this man showed no mercy, but you already knew that. What you probably didn’t know is this.
In 2004, Forbes listed Abacha as the 4th most corrupt president in the history of presidents. This man till date was also one of Nigeria’s most brutal presidents and biggest sugar daddy. No year goes by without Nigeria getting back some of the money Uncle Abacha looted and hid in the abroad.
General Abdulsalami Abubakar became president from 1998-1999 after Abacha’s mysterious death. Remember Babangida? he and Abubakar grew up in the same household.
Abubakar’s father adopted Babangida who was an orphan. So let’s say they were the first brothers who made it into the presidential realm.
Remember I said Obasanjo became president again? Yeah, this was the time. From 1999 up until 2007.
So, let’s just move on. Shall we?
From 2007 till 2010, Umar Musa Yar’adua was Nigeria’s president. I just want to say he was the first president to admit that there were some flaws during the elections at the time.
Such bravery right? Or stupidity? Actually, you decide.
Goodluck Jonathan became president after Yar’Adua from 2010-2015.
Since we are talking about things you probably didn’t know, you should know that Jonathan is a passionate football fan. In 2010 he banned the country’s national team from competing in international competitions because he was disappointed at their performance in the 2010 Fifa World Cup . They eventually begged and he reconsidered.
Making legitimate money online for many young people would be the ultimate dream. For so many young people across the world, being able to find steady income-generating opportunities online, would allow them to quit their toxic day jobs and become their own boss.
In addition, being able to spend quality time with family while taking control of one’s time and finances is a major attraction for young professionals in Nigeria and around the world. Like any other business venture, sustaining your online income stream will take some dedication, focus, and patience, meaning that one must be ready to invest some effort and smart work in order to actualise the dream.
As an internet savvy Nigerian, here are 8 legitimate ways to make money online:
1. Affiliate Marketing
With affiliate marketing, one can partner with businesses and brands on your own website or social media pages. By promoting other people’s (or company’s) products, you can then earn a commission on sales. If you find a product you like, promote it to others and earn a piece of the profit for each sale that you make.
2. Consulting
If you’re an expert in your field, you could potentially find people who are willing to pay you to counsel/advise them on their personal or business challenges. You might think you’re not knowledgeable enough to consult for big companies, but you could be surprised at the types of expertise people will pay for especially if you are consistent.
3. Freelance Writing
If you have very good writing skills and creative talent, then it’s possible to get paid to create online content. According to a full-time content creator/blogger, she started writing content some years ago part-time, while having a 9-to-5 job. Over time, she began making more money from writing content online until she could quit her full-time job to write. People are doing it, and you can too.
4. Start a YouTube channel
YouTube is another platform that can be monetized. There are tons of YouTube channels on any topic you can think of, and most people with many followers and great views are earning good money in dollars. Pick an interest and then consistently put up interesting video content on your channel. If it’s interesting and you are consistent over time, the views will come and you can earn money.
5. Become a virtual tutor
Another way to make money online is by teaching others what you know. You can become a virtual tutor and engage in one-on-one tutoring sessions or even host Webinars to help people directly with any number of topics. Nigerian websites like Tutors NG allows users to monetize their knowledge by creating online learning materials for others in need of a specific knowledge.
6. Podcasting
Podcasts are digital media files, most often audio, but they can be video as well, that are produced in a series. Unlike radio or television broadcasts that have set programming at certain hours, with podcasts, listeners are not locked into programming on any schedule. If a podcast gets popular, advertisers would be willing to pay for their brand name being mentioned and for exposure to your audience.
7. Blogging
For over 10 years now, blogging has been one of the surest ways to make money online. Blogging, when done properly, can easily generate from thousands to hundreds of thousands of Naira per month. Blogging needs a bit of patience before you can start making real money from it. All you need to do is to keep writing regularly and sharing your website and contents on social media platforms. Using various free web tools, the audience traffic and views can then be monetized for advertising and sponsored posts.
8. Online options trading
Online trading platforms (brokers) allow users to earn profits on the rises or falls in currency exchange rates and prices for shares or commodities across the world. Platforms such as Binomo (www.binomo.com) offer easy and safe trading, while providing free analytical insight and educational training materials to help both experienced and new users trade profitably on the internet.
The internet is a well of possibilities, so use it right and you can live the life of your dreams.
Lagos has been rated the third most stressful city in the entire world.
So if you live in Lagos and can still take out time to read this, you deserve a lot of accolades.
Lagos has pushed a lot of us to the edge at one point or another. We might have adapted or in the process of adaptation.
Whichever it is, here are some ways to know you have really had enough of this city.
If you’ve ever been stuck in traffic that was literally on hold for hours, you would understand that patience is very important to maintain your sanity sometimes.
See, there’s levels to traffic in Lagos.
While you’re stuck in traffic, you turn on the radio just to hear some “wanna gonna”, while you strain your ears to catch up.
Accents are the only things distributed free of charge in this city.
But eating fantastic food at a low cost is an extreme sport in Lagos.
In summary, overpriced food is a trademark
If you happen to live on the island, rain is probably not your best friend. When it rains, it pours, and floods.
Even you will be flooded. This is when Lagos island turns into an actual island
Let’s focus on rent for a minute, from finding the house, to affording the bills, all I have to say is..
..In this Lagos if you want to enjoy, you just have to blow o
And then if you don’t own a car, transportation is an extreme sport in Lagos. I want to talk about the cost but I also want to talk about the stress of even getting buses itself.
Let’s just thank God we are alive
If you have not had an encounter or know someone that has had an encounter or heard stories about Sarz officials, do you even leave in Lagos?
If you see them, Just run.
We always wonder why there are so many people in Lagos or why so many plan to move here? Like why is Lagos so overpopulated?
But the real question is, why are you in Lagos? Just take a moment and ask yourself why you choose to continue suffering?
We know it’s hard to convince Nigerians to try any food that isn’t theirs. But forget about our awesome jollof rice for a bit and get lost in these tasty South African dishes.
Bobotie
Bobotie is to South Africa as Jollof is to Nigeria. It’s basically considered their national food and you might denounce Jollof (jokes) when you have a taste of it.
Biltong
Biltong is described as dried cured meat. We’ve figured that this is the South African version of our suya.
Boerewors
Boerewors is local sausage made from mince beef. Rumor has it that South Africans love their boerewors as much as we love our suya.
Chakalaka
The easiest way to describe this dish to a Nigerian is as beans porridge with international exposure. The main ingredients of Chakalaka are beans, cabbage, carrots and tomatoes cooked with spices.
Malva Pudding
The closest thing Nigerians have to a dessert dish is puff puff which is why you need to try this deliciously decadent South African baked dessert.
Bunny chow
If we had to describe Bunny chow in strictly Nigerian terms, then we’ll describe it as agege bread and beans except with bunny chow the beans is replaced by a delicious curry sauce.
Potjiekos
Potjiekos is basically stew like you’ve never seen it. Cooked with meat and tomatoes and vegetables you might never want your regular Nigerian stew again after trying it.
Bredie
Bredie is another traditional South African stew that is guaranteed to make you lose your home training.
Pap
Yes, the same pap we all know and love, the only difference is while we process our pap from corn South Africans process their pap from sorghum millet or rapoko.
Koeksisters
Koekisister is another South African desert we need to get on the streets of Nigeria. Not everyday puff puff and donut.
To our South African readers did we leave any out? What other awesome South African dishes are we sleeping on.
Nigerian parents have a very funny relationship with sex. Even though they’ll rather eat a stone than talk about sex, we’ve figured out when Nigerian parents would like you to start having sex.
When you are married and living in your matrimonial home.
Team virgin till marriage. Nothing else is acceptable.
When you are ready to go and meet your maker
Because that’s where they’ll send you if they catch you fornicating.
After you’ve started having children.
What you did to have the children in the first place is none of their business.
When your pastor says it’s the right time.
And we all know when our pastors say it’s ok to start having sex.
If you are a woman, once you hit the age of 30.
Because as long as their God is alive you should be in your matrimonial home by then.
When you’ve refused to marry and give them grandchildren.
Just go out into the world and get us a grandchild we don’t want to know how you did it.
There’s never an appropiate time, close your legs and face your front.
You know the feeling of setting a savings goal and with ginger you actually start to save, only for you to somehow sha break into it before you even reach halfway through your goal timeline? We can totally relate, so we’ve decided to create a list of some of our saving struggles.
Money? What’s that?
How do you take something out of nothing? Don’t angry me, please! *crying in unemployment*
How much am I even earning?
Man never chop finish, you’re talking about saving. I can see you don’t have my best interests at heart.
Automated payments
“Baba God, tell me I’m dreaming. These people have removed my last change. Who sent you? Who sent you?!”
Have you seen the price of garri in the market?
It’s like you don’t know what is happening in the country. You can’t even price anyhow anymore. Just leave me to be managing my life.
Food
How will I buy food if I keep saving? Please let me enjoy; life is one.
Internet
Ordinary small breeze will blow and all your data will finish. Oh, well. *buys more data*
I got 99 problems but saving ain’t one
And on the other end of the spectrum, we have the non-savers. “What is saving, please? Don’t insult my personality. I just keep making this schmoney! Call me OBO.”
What do y’all spend money on that you wish you didn’t have to? Tweet us @zikokomag!
If you thought being a single man in Nigeria was fun, el. oh. el!
All of us are suffering this thing together.
Imagine, somebody is still managing their life and family is already asking you to marry.
Na wah o. Didn’t I finish school just nine years ago?
Your landlord’s wife will call every girl that comes to your house. “Our wife. Welcome o.”
I don’t blame you. It’s my fault that I have six sisters.
If you want to chill with your guys and go with a female friend, wahala. They will tease you to tears.
Please stop talking. Don’t make things awkward. She’s like my sister na! Oh God, why is she giving me this kind of side eye?
And when they see you with another female friend, they will start asking about ‘that your former babe’.
If it were that easy to pull babes, shey I won’t have girlfriend by now? Mumu.
Even your parents will betray you and start asking for their grandchildren.
Wey I never even get babe. Abeg wait small.
When even your ‘irresponsible’ friend gets married, your family will just be looking at you like
See me see trouble o!
Even your married friends that should understand your situation will be telling you to go and marry.
If not that you found somebody to manage you now…
Toasting babes will be giving you high blood pressure.
“She’s fine o. She probably has a boyfriend, though. What if she should give me L? Do I look alright? Chai, this my shirt don fade. I should have sprayed that perfume. Cheesus!”
At one point, you won’t even have your guys to chill wilth again because they’ll all have babes.
All of a sudden, you’ll know the difference between alone and lonely.
When you get to a certain age and you’re still not married, people will start wondering and asking what is wrong with you.
Na wah o. It’s like this my life, we are all sharing it abi?
My brother, if you let people give you heart attack for singleness that is not their own, well… Issalova Jackie.
Just take it easy and enjoy your life before you make a huge mistake!
The Nigerian music industry has come a long way and we are glad for it, but before the Wizkids, Davidos and Teknos, there were some serious entertainers who lit up our stages, TVs and java phones.
What are they up to these days?
Osayamwen Nosa Donald was easily the Crush and Love of everyone’s life. The award-winning singer’s big moment was in 2004 when he released his breakout hit, ‘Ego’.
Djinee has dabbled in other aspects of entertainment over the years but is thankfully still singing. He dropped a single this year.
“It’s a Super Story, a life of strife and sorrow.” That voice you heard on Thursday nights belonged to Uwale Okoro, you know her as Essence. If you thought she wasn’t making music anymore, still sings, and blogs.
Paul I.K. Dairo was one of the biggest stars stars of his time. However, time passed and times changed, and Paul fell ill so had to slow down on the music. He’s better now though, and back to doing what he does pretty well, whether it is being a Judge for a Reality show, or leading live performances.
First Lady of Nigerian hip-hop, Sasha P aka Anthonia Yetunde Alabi was hot on the music scene in every way. She had bars and flow for days and looked pretty hot as well. However, she decided to move from music to fashion in 2013 and has been running her fashion label – Eclectic by Sasha, ever since.
Eddie Remedy
King of the early late 90s and 2000s, Edward Ashiedu-Brown had Nigeria in the palm of his hand. Lead singer of Remedies, Eddy definitely made his mark. However, over time and with a lot of controversies, he did music less and less. Still, he sings and even hints about the possibility of a Remedies reunion.
Weird M.C is another dope female rapper! She had been on the scene for a while, but she became a real star with her song “Ijoya”. The video was the coolest at the time. Even though Weird M.C has been quiet on music for a while now, her Twitter profile reads UN Peace Ambassador, Road Safety Marshall, Social Entrepreneur and Influencer. I guess she’s doing good, then!
Tony Tetuila
Tony Tetuila stole the spotlight with such songs as ‘My Car’ and ‘My Heart Go Jigi-Jigi’. He really was a superstar! However, the golden-haired musician whose real name is Anthony Awotoye hasn’t done much music since 2014 when he ran for political office in the House of Assembly of Kwara State.
Kel
Kel, aka Kelechi Ohia came out with a bang with when she released ‘Wa Wa Alright’. She released an album which did not do so well, but a few years later she released another song with W4 that was a was a hit. Kel then went silent again. However, she recently said that she has started a record label and is working on a few projects. We can’t wait.
Daddy Showkey
Daddy Showkey aka John Asiemo is a legendary galala singer. He swept us away with songs like ‘Diana’ and Nigerians just loved him. Unfortunately, he had an almost fatal accident that kept him bedridden for three years and out of active music for almost ten years. He’s easing his way back to music, though and we’re really excited.
B.O.U.Q.U.I
B.O.U.Q.U.I whose real name is Bukola Folayan held Nigeria’s attention when she released her album ‘Eve Of Independence’ that had major hits like “Molejo” and ”Vanity”. She cut across more than the Christian audience she made songs for. Since her second album, she has been quiet until recently when she held an online rap competition – BOUQUI Unstoppable Rap Competition. She still does music, and she’s doing good!
When a lot of people recall childhood beatings, it’s often with a hint of wry humour and I’m usually just blown, like
Excuse me, what about getting beaten is funny?
Your dad or mom had you hospitalized and left a permanent scar on you and you’re laughing almost fondly? What in the Stockholm Syndrome is this?
I often find that the longer people tell these stories, the humour fades and their true feelings of the events are exposed – whatever they may be.
Admittedly, if I were asked to recount such tales, I’d probably laugh in the process of telling it as well. Well, that just might be because I’m damaged. Who knows?
Corporal punishments or what we call beating, is tightly woven into the average Nigerian or African’s correctional culture.
It starts at home with parents, aunts or uncles and older siblings, and extends to school and sometimes even religious institutions.
In fact, it’s not the strangest thing to see a man or woman “discipline” a complete stranger’s child for some wrongdoing or other.
They say it takes a village to raise a child and this village believes in the supposed effectiveness of beatings. However, with all the beatings and supposed discipline, crime and immorality are still rife in the society.
A lot of people will argue that beatings didn’t leave any lasting mental scars, that they’re actually better for it.
These same people look forward to beating their children for not much other reason than ‘well, it was done to me and I turned out well’.
That might be true, but you could definitely have turned out a whole lot better. In an environment that often disregards mental health, it would be hard for you to even tell the signs.
Damaged people damage people.
There are many detrimental effects of corporal punishment.
If you were beaten as a child, it’s okay to admit that you are damaged. It makes it easier to notice the signs and break the cycle.
Unless you have the very spawn of the devil as a child (which is very unlikely) there’s no way he/she won’t be able to discern right from wrong, especially if broken down and properly communicated to them.
It doesn’t have to be etched on their bodies through beatings. In contrast to what parents are trying to achieve, the child most often only learns to fear punishment, rather than understand why he should follow rules. They become sneaky and learn to hide bad behaviour well, because of the fear of punishment.
AKA “wrong is what gets you punished; right is what gets you praise or avoids punishment.” Morally upright, indeed. See this.
Beatings don’t teach your child to behave properly. A child who gets beaten for fighting a sibling won’t magically learn how to get along better in future.
Parents are in fact just sending a confusing message by doing exactly what they’re trying to get the children to not do. Children do what parents do, more than what they say. Effective discipline should always teach new skills, and parents are responsible for the child they raised.
Parents often lose it and react, and in the process don’t teach anything other than that their child should be afraid of them. Parents who use corporal punishment often react out of desperation before they really consider the underlying reason.
The child just gets beaten without fully understanding what they did wrong, simply learning that their parents don’t like it and not to do it again… and get caught.
Parents who employ corporal punishment as a discipline tool are simply training their kids to resent them.
Beatings damage your child’s self-esteem, their ability to interact properly with others, their view of the world and their view of how they deserve to be treated!
Beatings push your children away from you, and they become vulnerable to picking up vices from strangers. They also perfect bad habits such as lying. Why make your child grow up traumatised?
Punishment isn’t the only facet of discipline! In fact, if your discipline consists of just negative consequences, it isn’t very effective.
Some parents, when asked why they beat their children, will say out of frustration “I don’t know what else to do.” How would you feel if you were meted out that same punishment by a spouse or loved one with the excuse of them not knowing how else to let you know you’d made a mistake? That would be termed ‘Emotional Pain and Suffering’ for an adult, so why do we believe children don’t have the same feelings that adults do?
The screaming that comes from a young child being beaten is not so much the result of physical trauma as it is emotional trauma. They experience the overwhelming emotional pain of rejection, worthlessness, and the betrayal is usually much worse than any physical pain.
So, is #StopBeatingChildren a relevant movement in the Nigerian society? Yes.
We need to recognize beatings for what they are – abuse. We need to break the cycle of abusing our children because we were abused.
There are other equally effective methods of disciplining a child without physical (or verbal) abuse.
Parents can try, for one, actually talking to the kids like they’re human beings with brains. They should also try educating them as patiently as possible about the dangers or implications of their bad behaviour.
Ignore them, ground them, take away something they love, clearly express your disapproval and lecture them if need be, just do anything but abuse them.
The mental scars you inflict on them will last longer than any lesson you’d like them to learn.
What are your thoughts on using corporal punishment as a discipline tool?
With influences from North African, French, and Portuguese cuisine as well as from the nation’s many ethnic groups, Senegalese cuisine is delightfully unique to experience! Here are a few dishes your Nigerian palette will absolutely fall in love with.
1. Chicken Yassa
Yassa is made of chicken pieces that are marinated in onions, lime juice, vinegar and peanut oil then grilled before being cooked over low heat in its marinade. When served with white rice, this makes for an unforgettable flavorful dish.
2. Mafe
Mafe is a very delicious traditional Senegalese food. It’s made of meats or fish cooked in groundnut paste, then served with white rice. Totally yummy.
3. Caldou
I’m a huge fish lover, so for me, Caldou is an A+ dish. It’s made of fish cooked in palm oil, then is served with white rice and a lime sauce. Just thinking about this is making me hungry.
4. Thierre bassi salte
Basse Salte is a delicacy made from seasoned meats or fish cooked in tomato paste and vegetables. Served with the local couscous, you’re going to be begging for more.
5. Lakhou Bissap
Lakhou Bissap is a very interesting Senegalese dish that you should definitely try. It is made of semolina and meat or fish and has the consistency of a soup.
6. Salatu Niebe
This! Salatu niebe is a wonderful and colourful black-eyed pea salad. Made with tomatoes, cucumbers, parsley and a host of other vegetables, this is very delicious, take it from me.
7. Firire
Firire is fried fish and onion sauce that can be served with bread, fries, salads and so much more. It is truly delicious.
8. Soupou Kandja
Soupou Kandja is an okra sauce made with loads of meats and palm oil. When accompanied with rice, this is a match made in heaven.
9. Check out this recipe for Chicken Yassa
https://youtu.be/uIVyIpTgV_U
What other Senegalese dishes would y’all recommend?
You’ve been to an owambe and really had fun, abi? In fact, you ordered for extra small chops and more of that jollof rice with pepper chicken and Star to wash it all down.
Well done sah! It’s now your turn to throw your own party, and it must bang! Don’t know how? Well, shall we begin?
Break your bank
I’m sure you know by now that rice is not cheap in the market. And how much do you think small chops and drinks and the rest cost? You’re going to break that bank, my friend. Unless you’re not on our level… In that case, we’re sorry.
Aso ebi
You need to hit your friends with ridiculously overpriced clothing materials in the colours of the season, of course! Your guests must slay in uniformity.
Hire a famous party planner
Honestly, this one is for your own sanity. And so your owambe won’t be a complete flop because the party planner’s name alone will make people want to turn up. He who has ears…
Even if you hire a party planner…
You still need to personally make sure that there is an abundance of small chops and drinks. Don’t play rough play.
Hire photographers
Photographers o, not photographer. At least two, with someone else doing video. All the beauty and slay must live on forever on social media, in every possible angle.
Invite the right guests
All your five photographers will be photographing who? You must invite internet celebrities o! So your guests will have something to entertain themselves with, and your pictures will come out looking bad and bougie.
Hire bouncers
Gather the biggest, toughest-looking bouncers you can find, because your prestigious guests need to feel safe. If they’re bald, even better.
Jollof rice must be on point
If the food isn’t Snapchat and Instagram worthy, have you even served food??? May ‘jollof rice has finished’ not be your portion.
Drinks must be plenty
A wise man once said, “the more the alcohol flows, the better your party is.” We don’t argue with wise men.
Hire a live band or DJ
Or, you know… hire the two. There can’t be an abundance of good music at a party.
And don’t forget, even if you break your bank beyond the point of recovery, your owambe will live on forever on social media! 🙂
In order for you to know whether or not the food in a particular buka is going to be good, certain things must be present. If you walk into any buka and these elements are missing, we have to tell you that the food won’t be sweet.
They must have very cheap and mismatched plates.
If all their plates match then their stew won’t be sweet. Pure facts. They must also have this one nation plate.
Either the owner or at least one of the servers has to be a rude and overweight woman with flabby arms.
When the owner is rude you just know the food is going to be good. You think they are there to serve you? They are only doing you a favour.
If you don’t see the woman serving flick sweat into the stew at least once then that stew can’t be sweet.
That’s the last and final ingredient that makes buka stew taste the way it does. Ingredient X.
As you step into the buka some kind of unbearable heat must overcome you.
Any buka that has an A/C is not ready for life, sweat has to be pouring out of your body as you are eating.
The food is served straight from the pot they cooked it in or old coolers that have seen life.
From the pot straight to your plate, no time to waste.
If the prefix of the buka’s name doesn’t have ‘Iya’ or ‘Mama’ or the suffix doesn’t have ‘Buka’ in it then it’s probably not even a buka at all.
That one is a restaurant or fast food.
A good buka doesn’t have an opening or closing time.
They open when the food is ready and close when food has finished.
If there isn’t a crowd waiting to buy the food just know it’s not sweet.
Any buka you enter that is empty has nothing good to offer you.
Because nobody has time for decor, you’ll find plastic chairs and tables that look like this.
Anything fancier than this qualifies as a restaurant.
The menu is never extensive because nobody has time for stress.
There is rice, dodo, swallow, and beans. Dazzal.
Do you have any other good buka-finding tips for us?
