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  • Abroad Life: Patrick is Staying In South Africa, Regardless of Xenophobia

    Abroad Life: Patrick is Staying In South Africa, Regardless of Xenophobia

    The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.



    When you hear of Nigerians living in South Africa, one topic crosses your mind: Xenophobia. The subject of today’s Abroad Life today, Patrick, tells us what it is to live and study in a place many Nigerians are scared of, and why he plans on staying there for the foreseeable future. 

    First things first, what are you doing in South Africa?

    I’m here as a fellow for the Open Society Foundation on Investigative Journalism at the University of the Witwatersrand, in Johannesburg. I arrived in February 2020 and started lectures on that same day. 

    No time to settle?

    None at all. 

    The fellowship is all about data and investigative journalism. Five people were selected: one Ugandan, a Nigerian [ me], and three South Africans. It’s actually a  practical fellowship, so apart from attending lectures, we also do a lot of fieldwork. 

    At the end of the fellowship, we’ll be interns for investigative newsrooms here in South Africa for 6 months – the fellowship is for a  year, followed by an internship for six months.  This makes everything one year and six months. It’s been wonderful so far. It’s been a great learning experience and we’ve had amazing investigative journalists from all around the world as lecturers. 

    That’s awesome. 

    How has Covid-19 affected your learning experience? 

    The only thing the pandemic affected was physical learning because South Africa went on lockdown in March. Everything else has been normal because of tools like Zoom, Skype and WhatsApp. Although, it’s also been really disappointing not getting to meet more world-renowned investigative journalists one-on-one. Networking is a big deal and when you’re meant to meet someone in person and they end up talking to you through a Zoom call, it can be underwhelming. 

    Damn…sorry about that.

    So are you studying full time, or…

    No. I’m also working as a freelance journalist for whatever publication comes around.   Recently, I received a grant from National Geographic to do a story on how COVID 19  affected Nigerian farmers and how they are coping.

    Are you doing that as a story from South Africa?

    I have colleagues back at home in Nigeria who are journalists and they do the fieldwork while I do the writing. 

    I’m curious though, how did you get admitted into the fellowship at the University of the Witwatersrand?

    I had tried to apply for another fellowship three times and I kept getting rejected, so I decided to try this one out. The Open Society Foundation on Investigative Journalism fellowship started in 2019 to celebrate its  20th year in South Africa. They intend to let it run for three years. I applied in 2018 to be among the first set of people to be selected for the 2019 class, but that was unsuccessful. So I tried again last year and here I am for the 2020 class. I guess you could say that my tenacity paid off. 

    That’s awesome. 

    Can you walk me through the timeline from when you got the admission till when you got to South Africa?

    I remember that I was notified on November 24th that my application was successful. I was really excited because apart from getting something I really wanted, I was  really looking forward to some timeout from Nigeria. Additionally, I was also looking for a chance  to add to my skills, get some exposure, and meet people in my field from all over the world – I knew I had a better chance of getting that in South Africa than in Nigeria. 

    After getting notified, I started all the visa processing. 

    By yourself?

    Yes. They supplied the letters I needed: letter of acceptance, and letter of admission. After getting notified, I had to apply for admission. I got the admission and  I also applied for other stuff like medical insurance. 

    It was a really hectic and overwhelming process.

    Was there a possibility that your visa application would be denied? 

    Haha… Yes.

    I was confident that I was going to get the visa but anything is possible. I’d have been extremely disappointed if I didn’t get the visa because I had been trying to get an opportunity like this for some time. Imagine getting it and being denied a visa at the final stage. That would have been drastic. 

    Okay. You moved there in  February.  How quickly did you settle in? 

    The department handling the fellowship had already paid for my accommodation, so, before I arrived, an apartment was waiting for me. Immediately I landed at the airport, I checked in with the security, and then I went to the apartment. I dropped my bags in my room and headed straight to the university for classes. 

    I think I arrived around 7 am and I had lectures by 10 am so I had to rush the whole registration process with the stress of being on a plane for hours without sleep. 

    After that day though, settling in was a bit easy for me even though it was a new environment. If you survived in Nigeria, there’s no place you can’t survive so getting around and meeting new people was easy. So I’d say in one week, I got accustomed to the environment. 

    So you were living normally in the space of one week?

    Yeah but not 100%, I wasn’t entirely familiar with the whole environment but it wasn’t awkward anymore. I could go to the mall, to campus, and come back home with an Uber. Making friends was also becoming easy. I was even making friends and other connections before I got here so that made it easier. We’d just go out together and settle in together until Coronavirus made us all stay indoors. 

    When I hear that a Nigerian is in South Africa, I get scared because of the reported Xenophobia. Did you have that fear when you were leaving Nigeria, and how has that played out?

    I wouldn’t say I had fear. It was more of a subconsciousness that there was a possibility of something like this. Before I got here, I spoke with a lot of Nigerians here and read wide about the dangers of coming to South Africa as a Nigerian, so I knew it was a reality. 

    Getting here, I met wonderful people who welcomed me warmly, I can’t lie about that. But I have also witnessed a lot of hatred for foreigners. Not only for Nigerians, but for people from Zimbabwe, Zambia, Lesotho, and other African countries. The narrative of other Africans coming to take their jobs and their wives is a real and prevalent one. 

    There’s a mindset that has been built in the media about African foreigners, so they [South Africans] tend to keep their distance even if they don’t have a reason to. 

    I have both male and female South African friends and we get along. Some of them ask questions about Nigeria that they find in the media. They watch Nollywood and know about Wizkid, Davido and all that but they’re in the minority. 

    What is a South African experience that you can’t forget?

    This one might interest you – About two weeks after I arrived, I was getting my Student ID one day and I needed help locating a building. I ran into this South African babe who offered me all the help I needed. We got talking, and even went to get some drinks. 

    During the conversation, she just randomly said: “My mom would be so mad if she knew I was hanging out with a Nigerian.” To my face o. Then she started talking about how we would just come to take their jobs and commit crimes. She said she admits that South African men might be “lazy” but it was still their country and they didn’t need to be dominated. 

    Awkward…

    Yeah. I downed the rest of my drink and called it a night. She did the same. We haven’t spoken since then. We’d see one another from time to time and just wave or say hi, but I’m not about to hang out with her anymore. 

    Crazy

    In day to day living, how’s South Africa different from Nigeria?

    The food, the dressing, and the crime. 

    Women here have a very liberal way of dressing that I couldn’t first understand because I come from Nigeria where stuff like that is majorly done conservatively. 

    The food is obviously different because it’s a different culture. And the crime rates are high. For some areas, it’s dangerous to walk even in the broad daylight. Just yesterday, I saw the video of a man in Johannesburg being grabbed by 5 people in broad daylight.  People were recording but couldn’t  help  because they didn’t want any trouble. They [the robbers] also collected his phone and all his belongings. Not so long ago, my Kenyan friend was also mugged.

    Do you feel unsafe?

    I just know where to be and where not to be at different times. My area is relatively safe andI hope it stays that way.

    I hope so too. 

    What’s the cost of living there like?

    Feeding is pretty much normal. I could actually say that it’s cheap. I have not adapted to the local food so I go to the supermarket to buy my normal Nigerian foodstuff and cook myself. 

    Transportation is not expensive. I almost always use an Uber or the school bus to move around. I hear the trains and buses are very cheap as well, but I have not tried using them yet. 

    But house rent is extremely expensive. You’ll probably pay about N70k monthly for a self-contained room. And you have to pay every month. A room and parlor will probably cost you N100k a month. It might also depend on location too, but generally, it’s very expensive. 

    Omo

    Would you advise a Nigerian to live in South Africa? 

    To be honest, I don’t know about coming here to hustle as a Nigerian. It might be toxic. But being here as a student has been nice for me. It basically depends on what you’re coming  to do. To live and work here as a journalist is something I can advise.  Maybe if you’re coming to work and the organization you’re working for has provided accommodation  , then it’s nice too. 

    After your fellowship do you plan on coming back to Nigeria? 

    I’ve not decided but I am most likely to stay back and practice; I’ll work from here to see how it goes. Going to Nigeria won’t be to stay so I’m most likely staying here to practice journalism after my internship.  I might leave for another country. To explore, and maybe further my academics and get other fellowships, but I’ll be based here before I decide. 

    So you’re one of the Nigerians coming to take South African jobs and women.

    *wink wink*

    Haha…I’m not here to drag their women with them. As for the job, it’s an open market where the best person will get it. Nobody is “stealing” anybody’s jobs. I’m not even looking to get a full-time job. I’ll keep freelancing

    I hope that works out man. I hope it does. Stay safe

  • It Is Clear The Government Does Not Care About Nigerian Students

    It Is Clear The Government Does Not Care About Nigerian Students

    Political campaigns are going on. Elections have been scheduled. Religious worship houses have resumed. Airports are open. Markets are open. But the average Nigerian kid is still rolling tires and has not been in a classroom at least since March. There’s no sort of plan by the government for the resumption of their education, and we are wondering who exactly students offended in this politically charged country?

    When will students learn actively again? Any ideas?

    On August 20, the Ministry of of Education released yet another set of guidelines to schools before and when when they reopen, including the training of teachers and other personnel on safety and hygiene measures, establishment of a Covid-19 referral system, availability of ambulance services to testing/isolation/treatment centres including the state government facilities, etc. Many conditions that the average mom and pop schools won’t even meet.

    But schools physically reopening is not even the bigger issue here. Look, we will all be fine if kids are at home but they aren’t spreading or getting any virus. But that is if they are also learning at home. But Nigeria has no infrastructure whatsoever for kids to learn online, or from home. So most students are stuck at the same point since March – learning nothing. Just vibes and Insha Allah.

    At this point we need to ask what is really going on. Where is the plan for our students to resume learning again? Does the government have any?

    Check back every Morning by 10am for more Zikoko Citizen stories.

  • 5 Ways To Handle Street Food, According To Nigerian Politicians

    5 Ways To Handle Street Food, According To Nigerian Politicians

    Nigerian politicians are not normal, everyone knows. How do you even eat two pieces of roasted corn at the same time, one on each hand. How? Are you showing us how you’ll multitask when elected?

    Here’s how to handle street food according to Nigerian politicians:

    5. First, Fry Plantain And Potato With The Seller

    4. Roast Corn For The Seller, With A Baby In Hand

    3. Keep Calm and Buy Bole

    2. Rebrand Agege Bread

    1. Two Corns At A Time

    For your next read: 15 meals online vendors should consider selling.

  • What Is Happening With Nigerian Traders In Ghana?

    What Is Happening With Nigerian Traders In Ghana?

    Nigerian traders in Ghana have being complaining of unfair treatment and the forceful closure of their shops in the country.

    The video above, recorded by a Nigerian trader in Ghana is a good place to begin. For the past few days, Nigerian traders have been appealing to the Nigerian government, claiming that their shops are being locked up by Ghanaian authorities, and that the latter are hell bent on forcefully closing up their business, despite evidence of company registration, tax payment and legal business dealings.

    $1 Million Foreign Equity and 31,500 Cedis Registration Fee

    But that appears not to be all of the story. Chukwueka Nnaji, President of the Nigerian Traders Union in Ghana had said shops belonging to Nigerians were locked by an Inter-Ministerial Task Force which went round on August 10, requesting their registration of business taxes, resident permit, standard control and the GIPC (Ghana Investment Promotion Council) Registration.

    Nnaji explained that Nigerian traders could not afford the requirements of the registration which they were given two weeks to pay. The GIPC (Ghana Investment Promotion Council) Law allows for general trading of people who are not members of GUTA ( Ghana Union of Traders Association), but with a requirement of $1 million cash or foreign equity and registration fee of 31,500 Cedis.

    Nnaji further added the law requires Nigerian trader’s to employ a minimum of 25 skilled Ghanaian workers and they must not trade in commodities that Nigerian traders have applied in.

    Boakye Boateng

    But Boakye Boateng, Head of Communications in Ghana’s Trade Ministry has defended the regularisation exercise, stating that it would be unfair of Nigerian traders to complain of insensitivity by the Ghanaian government.

    He added that Nigerian traders had been served notice for over a year, and we’re pardoned in December following the intervention of President Nana Akufo-Addo. He added that the security officials in the ‘regularisation exercise’ only went to inspect shops, and that they were given 14 days to ensure that all their necessary documentations were complete.

    Future of African Trade

    It is clear there are still a lot of challenges with Intra-African trade, especially due to Xenophobia and related reasons. African governments must work together to facilitate trade and migration amongst different countries. We’ll keep hearing stories of this nature until that is fixed.

  • Bishop Oyedepo Says A New Law Is Targeting Churches

    Bishop Oyedepo Says A New Law Is Targeting Churches

    On Sunday, Bishop David Oyedepo, the President of Living Faith Church Worldwide, while preaching , kicked against the application of a section of the recently passed into law Companies and Allied Matters Act 2020 (“CAMA”), stating that such a section of the law was due to the jealousy of the government to the growth of churches.

    Specifically, the Bishop contends with Section 839 (1) of the Act which declares that the “Commission may by order suspend the trustees of an association and appoint an interim manager or managers the affairs of an association where it reasonably believes that there is or has been any misconduct or mismanagement in the administration of the association”, and for other reasons. Note that churches and religious bodies are included in “an association”.

    Essentially, Oyedepo is worried about ‘Trustees’ encroaching into ‘church territory’. But, a media aide to the President, Luaretta Onochie has also replied Oyedepo, stating that he will have to go ahead to “manufacture his own country” if he does not want to obey Nigerian laws.

    There are other opinions by Nigerians too, including this one:

    But this new development is bouncing off a wave of Nigerian Pastors and their resistance to any form of state regulation. Just recently, Pastor Chris Oyakhilome of the Believers Loveworld Incorporated condemned the lockdown of churches and religious organisations so as to stem the spread of the coronavirus, stating that “We can serve God as he wants us to, not as somebody says we should”.

    So, what do you think? Are you in support of this new clause? Are churches in Nigeria getting a free pass or they should be strictly regulated? Try not to “touch the annointed” as you collect your thoughts, plis dear.

  • #Politics101: NIMC App Crashes, 1 in 3 Youths Are Unemployed, And More

    #Politics101: NIMC App Crashes, 1 in 3 Youths Are Unemployed, And More

    1. NIMC App Crashes

    What happens when the National Identity Management Commission mismanages your identity? That means I can’t afford to leave you!

    By Saturday the much vaunted NIMC App was available for download on digital appstores – keeping in line with the Minister of Interior’s declaration of the drive to digitise the country’s identity management. But, forget drive, what did Nigerians get from downloading the app? Tears, gnashing of teeth and goosebumps.

    The app crashed a few hours after testing, and people could no longer access it on the appstore. What’s more? The people who eventually got the app have mostly sad tales to tell. For instance, if you inputed your NIN (National Identity Number) details, the app would come up with the details of another person. Ah, Naija…

    Relax, though. The NIMC has not responded, but it seems the bugs are being fixed. Overall, it is the intention that counts, no?

    Pro-tip: You can do well to print your digital card if you can generate it, for many reasons including SARS wey no dey hear digital identity. Digital kini?

    2. FULL UNEMPLOYMENT RISES

    On Friday, the Nigerian Bureau of Statistics released Nigeria’s unemployment figures for the 2nd quarter of 2020, and the figures were…oomf.

    Nigeria’s unemployment rate rose from 23.1% in the 3rd quarter of 2018 to 27.1% in the 2nd quarter of 2020. What’s more? Combined youth unemployment has gone from 55% in Q3 2018 to 63% in Q2 2020 – which means 3 out of every 5 Nigerian youths are either unemployed (working less than 19 hours every week), or underemployed (working between 20-39 hours per week).

    Women unemployment has also peaked at 63%, more than men’s at 49%. Meaning, again, only 2 out if every 5 Nigerian women are fully employed.

    You can digest the rest of the report here (PDF). Please drink water when reading to aid the digestion. This obviously needs to be fixed.

  • Searching for Solutions to NEPA Outside Nigeria: Deyo’s Abroad Life

    Searching for Solutions to NEPA Outside Nigeria: Deyo’s Abroad Life

    The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.



    On Abroad Life today, Deyo tells us how his curiosity and passion for solving the electricity problem in Nigeria took him from the hydroelectric station in Kwara State to Canada and why he plans to return to Nigeria to implement all he’s learning.

    How long have you been in Canada? AKA Abroad Nigeria

    January made it five years, so five and a half years.

    Wow! That’s a long time

    When I first came here and met people that had been here for five years, I had the same reaction but five years later it still feels like I’m new.

    What part of it feels new to you?

    It’s mostly because I still meet people that have been here for decades, who moved here from Nigeria, and all over the world. 

    People say that everywhere you go in Canada, you’ll see Nigerians. How true is that?

    It’s hard to survey. I’m in Ottawa and there’s a sizable number of Nigerians here, but if you compare it to Toronto, that number is nothing. You’ll find more Nigerians in Toronto than in any other place in Canada. I’m four and a half hours away from Toronto by road. That’s where some of my Nigerian friends are, so if I want to see them I’ll just drive there. 

    Ottawa and Toronto are in the same province which is Ontario, so in this province I’d say there are many Nigerians.

    Do you know why Nigerians decide to stay in Toronto?

    Toronto is a really big city. It’s like the Lagos of Canada. It’s a very metropolitan city, and it’s very busy so there are a lot of opportunities. It also has industrial activities so people go there to find opportunities.

    When did you decide that you wanted to leave Nigeria?

    I worked at Jebba Hydroelectric Power Station in Jebba which is a border town between Niger and Kwara state. The hydroelectric facility there uses water from a flowing river to generate electricity. At that point, I was looking to further my career and my experience there exposed me to renewable energy. The Nigerian power sector had too many problems for me to feel comfortable to develop professionally. I felt like going abroad would help me get some exposure and experience. The plan was to come back because I am mind blown at the amount of resources we have in Nigeria. I was exposed to how electricity was generated and all I could think about was how to scale it so that the entire population gets electricity, because we’re a huge population and the demand for electricity is high, but the supply is low.

    Canada is very big in renewable energy so I chose to go to Canada.

    Wait, so this isn’t a japa story?

    Nope. I came to get some exposure, and then fix some problems. 

    It’s nice to see a different mindset. After five and a half years, would you say you have that same outlook?

    Even though it’s taking a while, the answer is yes. People say things are bad in Nigeria and it’s silly to return and try to make it better but the fact is that things are bad all over the world. 

    So from Jebba to Ottawa, how has the self-development journey been?

    I came out here as a student to do my masters. The opportunity to get into Canada was more on the studying part. That was the most feasible way for me, because if it was just getting a job, I wouldn’t be able to compete with other people. So coming to study was the approach. I came as a student, and I finished my masters in 2016.

    The course —  Systems Science — was very complex; the description is “a course about solving complex problems” and based on my exposure in the Nigerian power sector,  I can say the problem in Nigeria is complex. I have been in the system and I know what’s going on there so I said to myself, “okay, Systems Science is good”. It was also a good segue from my Systems Engineering background in UNILAG, even though I didn’t finish that one with a first class or a 2.1.

    So, a systems engineering background, masters from the university in Ottawa, and  background in electricity generation in the power sector. You must have been hot cake.

    I thought I’d be hot cake as well but soon I realised that these streets are tough. All around the world, an economy is an economy. Nobody just gets handed anything. I have seen many Nigerians come here and expect to ‘blow’ immediately. In trying to leave Nigeria, they burn bridges and then face reality when they get here. It doesn’t always end well.

    So while still looking for a job, with my Canadian university masters, I started working at a warehouse, picking orders.   

    A Warehouse. How did that make you feel?

    To me, it was unfair. It felt unfair because I felt that someone with a masters degree program in my discipline was not supposed to be doing such jobs. This was so far from my evaluation of what things would be. I had even engaged my fiancée before coming so that when I got my masters, I would bring her over, marry her, and then focus on the rest of my self development. Everything looked nice on paper. In retrospect however, that was one of my best learning experiences. I still work at that same company, but I rose through the ranks to where I am today.

    She joined me later though and even though we had some paperwork problems that meant she had to go back to Nigeria for about two years with our son, she’s back and we’re all here together with our permanent residence, and with our son as a full citizen. 

    How did it feel raising a child away from home?

    One word: Adventurous. At the point of fatherhood, I had already been through and survived enough life’s circumstances for me to realize that having an optimistic attitude would help me through my greatest challenges as I venture through life. So I just took it one day at a time. 

    I’m going back to the top now. How easy was it getting a student visa?

    There’s nothing easy in this life but I don’t want to discourage anyone. They’ll give you a list of documents you need. Make sure you have all of them and follow due process. If you get rejected, which I did, take it as feedback and work towards not getting rejected again. 

    When you first got to Canada, what was the first difference you noticed? 

    The weather in Canada is as bad as people say it is. I came in winter with just a fleece jacket and when I got off the plane I thought there was some disaster going on. It was so bad, I had to run back into the plane to ask a guard if he knew what was happening outside. I usually like to keep an open mind, so a lot of the other stuff was just normal to me. 

    Like Racism?

    Yeah any kind of discrimination, I don’t like using that word (racism). I don’t see it a lot, or if it happens to me I don’t engage in it. I try to navigate it and think maybe the person is having a bad day and acting like this but not that they’re being racist. 

    With this pandemic and everyone being at home, how has that affected you as a father, worker and husband?

    I’m in charge of Quality Assurance for Information Systems where I work — the enemy of a software developer. To carry out that role there’s no need to be in the office so I’ve been working from home. The challenge with working from home is my son doesn’t want to hear any stories; he doesn’t understand what work is and why it is necessary, so he wants to play when he wants to play and I find that challenging because at first I tried to explain to him but now the challenge is being able to balance my work with his play time; I can’t really argue with whenever he wants to play. I never win, it’s just having to balance my time and work, that’s the challenge for me right now. My wife is very supportive.

    Children…

    So, where would you rather be, Canada or Nigeria?

    It depends on a lot. Right now there’s a very interesting conversation going on globally around energy, energy access, energy efficiency, and energy security. With the way the world is, with the pandemic and all, being in Nigeria might be frustrating because everyone is meant to be staying indoors and how can you stay indoors without stable electricity. So I would love to be in Nigeria, but I wouldn’t want to be stuck in Nigeria because I’m not where I want to be in my self development journey. I still keep close contacts with a lot of people in the power sector in Nigeria and we talk about how to move things forward from bottom up but it’s not so straightforward. 

    I’m putting in the work though. I hope it works out. 

    What do you miss about Nigeria?

    Family, friends and Owambe food. 

    I hope we see you soon. 


    Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 9 A.M. (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.

  • Banter Republic of Nigeria: Diezani Calls Out Fraud, Shekau Calls Out Killings, And More

    Every Friday morning, Zikoko’s new Citizen “Banter Republic of Nigeria” will curate the funniest news stories that made the rounds over the week, including the most absurd reactions to them.


    Diezani Alison-Madueke and Abubakar Shekau battle it out for the most ironical fugitives, while Sanwo-Olu’s campaign poster was sign language that he was coming to rob us. Read on:

    1. The Vociferous Hushmummy

    On Monday, Former Minister of Petroleum Diezani Alison Madueke, who is currently facing allegations of bribery and money laundering in London and Nigeria called out “Yahoo Boys” at a virtual event organised by the Ijaw National Development Group, stating that it was tragic that they were the ones respected in our society.

    Nigerians however received the news with deep-seated anger and cynicism, with many calling Diezani a “Hushmummy” – the female replica of Hushpuppy, one of Nigeria’s most notorious internet fraudsters.

    Well, we certainly don’t have much to add, except that if Nigeria had a functioning criminal justice system and Diezani had been found guilty under the law and put behind bars, the only thing we’ll be hearing from Diezani now is her lip sync to the new Rihanna album – NOTHING.

    2. The Humanity In Him

    I told you it’s been a week of ironies, and it only keeps getting better, or worse.

    On Wednesday, Boko Haram leader and unarguably Nigeria’s most wanted fugitive, Abubakar Shekau, reportedly condemned the the death sentence handed to Yahaya Shariff Aminu, the Kano singer sentenced to death for blasphemy.

    In an audio obtained, Shekau is said to have condemned the killing, stating that Kano itself is the land of “infidels”.

    Well, considering that we don’t even know if Shekau is dead or alive, this might just be a catfish account, or statement. But Nigeria does need to fix up with the Sharia law. We’ll end it at that.

    3. Sanwo-Olu lo Help Tax

    Okay the Sanwo-Olu tweets are actually getting funnier by the hour. Remember we spoke of how the numerous Lagos State taxes are probably intentioned to send you back to your village. Someone has added that his campaign picture was him holding a metaphorical gun with the intention of hustling Lagosians.

    https://twitter.com/RickAnji/status/1293977932793356288?s=19

    And then there’s this:

    What do you think about all of this? Also, do share this story using #ZikokoCitizen. Importantly, you need to check back every weekday morning by 10 am for more Citizen stories, here.

  • Lagos’ New Taxes Will Send Everyone Back To Their Village

    There are more than 23 million people living in Lagos. So how best do you decongest? Extort, sorry tax people! In the space of four days, the Lagos State government has come up with barrage of taxes aimed at sending everyone back to their villages. Here’s the tea:

    First, there is the new taxes on e-hailing companies. Techcabal has a full load down, but the long and short of it include the facts that:

    1. There is a blanket N10 million operating fee for every 1,000 e-hailing taxis – Think Uber, Bolt, etc. There’s also an annual renewal fee of N5 million.
    2. 10% of every transaction paid by every customer will also be collected as a service tax.

    Of course, who bears the brunt of those taxes, you guessed right, you.

    The State also announced that a 5% levy will be charged on all audio and visual contents produced and sold within the state. The Lagos State Film and Video Censors Board (LSFVCB) has given a one-month ultimatum to content creators, after which defaulters have been told they will severely sanctioned.

    WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

    Make no mistake, taxes are civic duties that must be discharged. In fact, research shows that civic engagement increases in societies with higher tax remittances. But what is particularly curious with Nigerian governments is the urge to milk the populace dry once they are in financially cash-strapped.It’s 2020. There’s been a pandemic for the literally the entire year. How about we brainstorm on how the already financially handicapped citizens can get back on their feet, and then see how we impose taxes on a wealthy populace. And we had the exact same issue with the NIPOST fee.

    But no, government get coconut head.

  • 10-Year Old Jamilu Aliyu Was Chained With Goats For Two Years. WTF

    10-Year Old Jamilu Aliyu Was Chained With Goats For Two Years. WTF

    On Tuesday, news broke that 10-year old Jamilu Aliyu was chained with goats and forced to eat animal feed for two years, soon after his mother died. He was rescued after neighbours discovered the gory sight and spread the video footage. The boy was rescued by the Kebbi State government, due largely to the intervention of the International Federation of Women Lawyers and the National Human Rights Commission.

    What is particularly important here is that Nigeria has a notorious history of child abuse, child maltreatment, child violence, child marriage, child sexual violence and/or child prostitution. UNICEF Nigeria estimates that 6 out of every Nigerian child experience some sort of child violence. 1 in 4 Nigerian girl child experiences sexual violence while 23 million Nigerian children are married off as illegal brides yearly – the largest such number in Africa.

    It is clear that there is a pervasive case of child abuse in Nigeria, rooted in social norms and the use of violence in not whatever form.

    WHAT MUST BE DONE?

    The Child Rights Act was passed into law by the National Assembly in 2003, but has not been domesticated into law by, at 11 states – Bauchi, Yobe, Sokoto, Adamawa, Borno, Zamfara, Gombe, Katsina, Kebbi, Jigawa and Kano. A situation which makes the law ineffective on a national level. Therefore, we propose that the National Ministry of Women Affairs must begin immediate advocacy of the passage of this law in the eleven Northern states. Until this is done, we can’t even begin the discussion about child abuse in Nigeria.

  • Yahaya Aminu Shariff Has Been Sentenced To Death For Blasphemy In Kano

    Immediately Ahmed Sani Yerima enacted Sharia Law as Governor of Zamfara State in 1999, most observers knew the law was always always going to be controversial. And it has turned out to be, on multiple occasions. Because how and why should a person be sentenced to death by hanging, for singing? In 2020. Ah…

    The Backstory

    Okay, so here’s the tea: A Sharia Court in Kano State, on Monday, said it found Yahahya Aminu Shariff, a 22 year old musician guilty of blasphemy after it determined that he exalted an Imam higher than Prophet Muhammed, in a song that went viral on local Whatsapp circles in March this year.

    First off, who writes these scripts? Certainly not Kemi Adetiba. Secondly, if for any reason anyone should be sentenced to death by hanging, then it shouldn’t be this man, and certainly not for some “blasphemy”. In fact, it seems this Sharia Law only comes for the poor and unarmed.

    For instance, there’s a certain Abdullahi Ganduje, the very Governor of Kano State, who was actually caught on video stuffing dollars into his Babariga, apparent proceeds of bribe collected from a contractor. And he’s still walking free!

    So what are we saying? Is the law blind to prosecuting crimes against bribery and corruption?

    This is 2020, and our laws must simply be updated. Or maybe it’s the interpretation that needs to be better. No one should be getting hanged for some blasphemy. We have poverty to alleviate and Boko Haram to fight. Let’s face our priorities.

  • #AbroadLife: She Left Nigeria For Ukraine At 17 And Her Advice Is: Don’t Come To Ukraine

    #AbroadLife: She Left Nigeria For Ukraine At 17 And Her Advice Is: Don’t Come To Ukraine

    The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.



    The subject of this week’s Abroad Life has chosen to be anonymous. She is a 21-year old International Economics and Relations student who left Nigeria for Ukraine when she was 17. She talks about racism and why she’s done with both Nigeria and Ukraine.

    First things first, what’s a 21 year old Nigerian woman looking for in Ukraine, with no family there?

    I’m in university, studying International Economics and Relations. 

    What happened to UNILAG?

    Haha…The atmosphere in Nigeria is not a very good place for studying. If we’re going to be frank with each other. I have watched people ahead of me do six years for a course that was meant to last four years. There’s always a delay, somehow, as if it’s a curse. Personally, I’m not about to go on a break in between school, so that’s one major thing.

    So when did you decide that you were going to leave?

    It was June 2018. I had just finished secondary school and I had a friend in Ukraine already, who was studying medicine. It was her uncle who set up everything for her. She told me to come because the process was easy and I told my mom. My mom linked up with the uncle and he actually did the processing. 

    I thought this was one of those scam stories.

    Haha.. Nope. We needed some documents, which we were able to present. I had to go to the embassy at Abuja, and I got my visa. So from the time when I decided I was going to study in Ukraine, when I applied to the school, and I told my mom, and I got my visa, it took about two weeks.

    Two weeks?

    Two weeks. Although, I really don’t know how much it cost and all that because at time I was still 17 going 18 that month. My work was just to make sure I appear, and present all the needed documents and I did that. I left very shortly after.

    Considering how short the time was, you didn’t have much time to say goodbye to friends and family. How was that?

    It was actually cool for me, I’m not that person that has a lot of friends and all so it wasn’t too dramatic. We are in the 21st Century where you can just text “Hey, I’m leaving to study in Ukraine, I’ll see you in four years.” or make a call and you’re good. It’s never as deep as going round visiting. My family followed me to the airport. It was just normal.

    So you’re arriving in Ukraine, a place where you’ve never been before. What hit you the hardest?

    My God, it was the language. I didn’t have any time to learn so it was super complex. Even now, I’m always on my phone using a translator. Luckily for me, as you enter the country, the people that check the visa and your documents speak English so that helped me at least get myself into the country. I had booked for someone to pick me from Kyiv to my city, and that was a six-hour drive. After that, I found a way to settle. Google Translate everywhere. 

    So if I’m coming to Ukraine, I know I need to learn the language, thanks. What else do I need?

    Should I be honest?

    Hit me.

    Don’t come to Ukraine. 

    But…

    I’m just being honest with you. You know that racism thing that they’re shouting in the US? Hmm.

    Every time I enter a bus here, people act like the grim reaper has just entered and they have to avoid me at all costs. You see people instinctively using their bags to occupy seats and moving away. If you sit beside one white person, odds are they’ll stand up and leave you with an empty seat. 

    Wow

    I’m probably just a very self aware person, but these things get to me. It’s weird feeling like you don’t fit in society and whenever you try to fit, society looks at you and says “Nope, you don’t belong here”. In my experience, it’s also been really hard to get a job, and it doesn’t help that black people pay more for stuff like housing than locals. 

    Why is that?

    I don’t know. But me and some other black students pay $250 a month for rent in our different apartments. In the same building complex, whitestudents pay $150 or even less. Wanna hear the worst part?

    It gets worse?

    We have separate classes for blacks and whites.

    That’s not possible!

    I’m dead ass serious about that

    What’s the name of your school?

    I’d rather not say. In fact, I want to be anonymous. 

    There’s also the little things like being on a queue for something and not being attended to until all the white people have been. But you know Africans are free spirited, so we don’t take things to heart, we just deal with whatever comes. 
    What is the distribution of white to black people in your city?

    There are actually a lot of black people here, you’ll find Ghanaians, Kenyans, Tanzanians, Ethiopians, South Africans, people from Swaziland, there are plenty black people here. My city isn’t very big so maybe that accounts for why they treat us like this.

    Do you think nationality doesn’t matter when this racism happens?

    Yes, every black person is treated the same. Recently a boy was stabbed, and they’ve been dragging the case for a while, but now they want the case to go because it’s a black guy and they’re making his murder his own fault. 

    Why am I speechless?

    There’s NUGS (National Union of Ghanaian Students) there’s NUNS (National Union of Nigerian Students) here though and they play their parts in expressing our interests.

    I feel like I have to clarify though, that they won’t violently attack you. In fact, as a black woman, I can freely walk at any time of the night and feel safe. You just won’t have the same rights as everyone else.

    That’s crazy, and I hate to hear that you’re experiencing that. So how many years is your course and how far gone are you?

    I’m doing a 4 year course and by God’s grace I’ll be in my 3rd year by September.

    Are you planning on leaving once that’s done?

    Definitely. I do not see a future for myself here.

    Okay so you can’t wait to leave and come back to Nigeria? 

    Nah, not Nigeria. Somewhere else maybe. I’m done with the two countries. Living abroad has made me see how much we suffer in Nigeria. 

    Gun to your head, pick a place to stay, Ukraine or Nigeria?

    I’d pick Ukraine.

    Balance me here real quick.  So you’d rather stay where you face racism nonstop?

    There’s tribalism in Nigeria that lets people get more opportunities than others. They’re brothers. Nigerians even get violent sometimes. I’d stay here if it was the only choice. If I’m getting treated differently because I’m black, and I’m also getting treated differently because I’m Yoruba, what’s the difference?

    That’s…interesting.So, how is daily life in Ukraine?

    One thing I should let you know; feeding is cheap.

    Cheaper than in Nigeria?

    100%

    Wow! What do they eat?

    We have African stores here so you’ll buy your stuff. But food generally, is cheap. 

    What do Ukrainians eat?

    Apart from their traditional food, they eat a lot of junk. They have their own food but I haven’t tried it because I’m not interested. 

    So you’re not immersing yourself in their culture? 

    No. I don’t feel accepted so it’s not natural for me.

    Apart from food, how would you say it’s different from Nigeria? 

    Nightlife is very safe; you can walk on the roads at night even as a girl. I’m an introvert so I’ve never been to a club here but I hear it’s cheap to enter. I’ve got just a few friends, I’m not a people person. Transportation is also pretty chill. We’ve got buses, rail, and taxis, or you can ride your bicycle.

    But everyone here obeys every single traffic rule. Like robots. 

    How’s the weather?

    The weather is harsh. When it’s cold it’s extremely cold and when it’s hot it’s extremely hot.

    What is it right now?

    I don’t know if the world is coming to an end. But it’s summer right now and it’s extremely hot. 

    Hang in there!

    Check back every Friday by 12pm noon for a brand new Abroad Life story. If you’ll like to share your own story, please fill out this form.

  • Nigerian Senate Removes Gender Restrictions On Rape Cases

    Nigerian Senate Removes Gender Restrictions On Rape Cases
    Nigerian Senate

    The Nigerian Senate, on Tuesday, July 14, 2020, passed for the third reading a bill that will ensure that convicted kidnappers are sentenced to life in prison.

    This bill, sponsored by Senator Oluremi Tinubu, representing Lagos Central, is an amendment to the Criminal Code Act Cap.C38, 2004. 

    The bill explains that it is necessary to review the law due to frequent kidnapping cases across states of the federation, which have claimed multiple lives and have scarred survivors and their families. It is, therefore, important to ensure that perpetrators of the crime are punished appropriately.

    Kidnapping is seen as an act of terrorism by Nigeria’s Terrorism Act 2011, and recommends 10 years of jail time for any individual found guilty. 

    However, if this new bill is signed into law by President Buhari, every convicted kidnapper will spend the rest of their lives in prison.

    In addition, the bill also touches on the cases of rape and other sexual offences. It seeks to remove the statute of limitation on defilement and remove gender restrictions in rape and sexual assault offences.

    What this means is that the bill recognises that both men and women could be raped. 

    Amendment  to Section 357 of the principal Acts replaces “woman or girl, without her consent, or with her consent”, with “any person, without consent, or with consent.”

    Meanwhile, the Nigerian Senate had earlier passed an anti-sexual harassment bill aimed at protecting students against sexual harassment by lecturers. Read more about it here.

  • QUIZ: Which Bad Nigerian Government Decision Are You?

    QUIZ: Which Bad Nigerian Government Decision Are You?

    Just when you think Nigeria can’t surprise you anymore, it does. With that in mind, we made a quiz to guess which bad decision by the Nigerian government you are.

    Try below:

  • Why Everyone Should Be Concerned About The NIPOST Fee

    Why Everyone Should Be Concerned About The NIPOST Fee

    The Minister of Communications and Digital Economy, Dr. Isa Ali Ibrahim Pantami, has approved a new set of guidelines for “Courier and Logistics Operation 2020” which, according to him, will ‘enhance the operations of courier and logistics services in Nigeria.’

    This new set of guidelines will replace the former one which has been in place since 2001. In the new guidelines, operators of small scale courier and logistics services have to obtain a licence before they can be allowed to operate.

    The Nigerian Postal Service (NIPOST), a service provider and the regulatory authority for courier and logistics operations in Nigeria, released a document listing the fee for each licence and how to obtain one. The International Licence costs twenty million naira to obtain; National Licence costs ten million naira; Regional Licence costs five million naira; State Licence costs two million naira; Municipal Licence costs one million naira; and Special SME Licence costs two hundred and fifty thousand naira. Each licence will be renewed at 40% of the amount it cost to obtain each one.

    These new guidelines are in line with Section 62 of the NIPOST Act, Cap 127, LFN 2004.

    Image

    According to Dr. Ali Ibrahim Pantami, the new regulation is set to revamp the logistic and courier ecosystem of the economy and ‘significantly improve efficiency make courier and logistic operation more effective, in line with President Muhammadu Buhari’s administration policy on ease of doing business.’

    But this regulation will, in fact, have the opposite effect. The implication of it is that a lot of small scale courier and logistics services as well as the businesses that depend on them will be forced to shut down due to the exorbitant licencing fee.

    These small scale courier and logistics services sprang up due to the failures and inadequacies of NIPOST. With this regulation, these small business that came to fill logistics gap in business will no longer be able to operate freely.

    In a tweet sent out by the Twitter handle of NIPOST, they claim that the aim of the new regulations is to ‘protect genuine courier operations.’

    https://twitter.com/NipostNgn/status/1286950627973779456

    A petition has been started to stop the new regulations from being implemented. You can sign it here: Say No To NIPOST Fee

  • “I Was Fired From Work While Sick”: Stories From Nigeria About Surviving Coronavirus

    “I Was Fired From Work While Sick”: Stories From Nigeria About Surviving Coronavirus
    surviving coronavirus

    A woman fired from the job where she got infected. A man who thinks that losing his sense of smell was a blessing in disguise. A woman worried about the future of her work at the Stand To End Rape Initiative – Three Nigerians describe their hospital journeys during a pandemic. 

    Since February 2020, when Nigeria reported its first case of Coronavirus, almost 40,000  Nigerians have been infected. Over 14,000 have recovered. And about 1,000 Nigerians have died. Since the third infected person recovered, Zikoko has been speaking to survivors. The aim is to put a face to the numbers we see everyday: stories are more powerful than statistics. The human mind just can’t grasp the gravity of large numbers.

    On April 27, a 5-week lockdown put in place by the Nigerian government was lifted. Since then, there seems to be a reversal to the norm. Nigerians are throwing “small parties”; rules of social distancing and self-isolation are not being followed. Meanwhile, the number of cases are rising. The hope is that by sharing stories of real people who have survived this virus, we are all reminded that the Coronavirus is very real, and there’s still a lot of work to be done.


    MRS. ALEXANDER

    Age: 33

    Isolation center: Onikan Center

    Symptoms: Asymptomatic

    surviving coronavirus

    I was not with my family when I got infected. My family members don’t stay in the same state as me. It was from a live-in job where I was a nanny that I went into the isolation centre. I told the doctors not to contact any member of my family. Except in case of an eventuality [God forbid]. But I knew I was going to survive. With the information people had about the virus, any family member who was told about my situation would have panicked. Especially my mum. She’s hypertensive, so I didn’t want to bother her. The doctors took care of us and visitors weren’t allowed, so there was nothing any family member could do to help.

    I got tested because I came in contact with someone who tested positive. The NCDC tested everyone who was in contact with the person. At the point of testing, I was asymptomatic. The only thing I remember is having constant heartburn and chest pain which I attributed to ulcer – I am an ulcer patient. It wasn’t until my result came out positive that I thought the pain might have been caused by something else. 

    I wasn’t scared the day I was taken into isolation. The hospital called in the morning and they explained that they were sending an ambulance to pick me up. So, I packed some clothes and waited for them.

    My hospital experience was initially tough for me because I couldn’t eat the food. It wasn’t bad or anything but I am picky about food. Also, because of my ulcer, I couldn’t eat some food they served like yam and beans. At some point, I had diarrhoea, so I was scared to eat. The doctors said it was part of the COVID symptoms, but I think it’s because I forced myself to eat the moi moi they served one time. At a point, I requested for beverages and someone on the medical team got it for me. I think that was when I started to adjust. 

    The worst part of my hospital stay was the sample collection. At intervals, they would dip a long cotton bud down your nose. I had to stay still while it was pushed down my nose to a particular point. I suspect it even hit my brain because I felt it there. The process was very uncomfortable, and I always sneezed. There was a particular day where they had to take my sample twice because the first one got contaminated. I almost cried that day, but that was the test that declared me Corona free so I wasn’t sad for long.

    Isolation Centre

    In the middle of all this, I got fired from the live-in job where I got the virus. When the lockdown started, my old boss asked if I had money to send home for my family to stock up. I told her I had no money after which she gave me ₦20,000 to send home. Not once did she mention that this was out of my salary ( my salary is  ₦50,000). While I was in the hospital, I got a call from home that my kids were sick and they needed money for treatment. To keep up appearances that all was well on my end, I promised to send some money. I texted my boss for my salary for the month I worked before falling sick. I made sure that I explained the situation of things at home.

    That’s how she started: “I feed you, you are ungrateful, didn’t I pay you last month?” The money I gave you was a part of your salary. I protested that she never mentioned it. She called me a fool and told me she couldn’t condone my attitude and relieved me of my job. She sent the money after deducting the ₦20,000 and I didn’t say anything.

    To further worsen things, she called to say that her laptop was missing, and I had to produce it. I explained to her that I couldn’t have taken it seeing as I left the house in an ambulance to the isolation centre which I hadn’t left. At that point, I was starting to feel uncomfortable, so I complained to the COVID team. It was surprising to me because this was someone I used to help withdraw from her ATM card; I know her pin. When she was in the hospital caring for her son who tested positive and infected me, I was in charge of the house. It was shocking to me. 

    For the first time in my life, I had high blood pressure. My blood pressure went from my usual range of 107 to around 130/90. I just had to look for a way to take my mind off it. I remember Easter Sunday when a gospel musician called BJ Sax was invited to the centre to play. I danced and danced. That day, I danced my problems and Corona away. Before that, I had been lying on my bed and feeling sad.

    When the doctors told me that I was discharged, I had nowhere to go. I couldn’t go back to work, I couldn’t travel home to my family because of the lockdown. Luckily, a friend agreed to let me stay with them while I recovered.

    I have gotten to the point where I no longer allow things I can’t control bother me. The conditioning of your mind is very crucial to whether you survive a difficult situation or not. There’s a way your mind helps you fight that your body eventually agrees. These days, I am staying positive while I fully recover.

    At least, the worst part is over.

    HILARY

    Age: 29

    Isolation center: Mainland hospital, Yaba.

    Symptoms: Loss of taste and smell.

    surviving coronavirus

    I travelled to the U.K. On my last weekend there, I sprayed my perfume and I realized that I couldn’t smell anything. My initial assumption was that maybe it was the flu. Now and then, I get catarrh and my nose gets blocked.

    The next day while having a shower, I couldn’t smell my soap. I had been coughing for a while before this happened but it had gone so I didn’t imagine that I had the virus. I just felt it was allergies that would go on its own.

    I got back to Nigeria on Tuesday. My housemaid made fried rice, but the taste was unusual so I became worried. I called my doctor who asked me a few questions to ascertain if I had the virus or not. The common symptoms at the time I got tested were cough, fever, sneezing. But when I told my doctor that I couldn’t smell anything, she advised me to get tested. After going around, I was referred to the Infectious Diseases Center at Yaba. 

    At the centre, I was directed to a place called the “isolation centre.” I met a doctor there who asked me routine questions. Because I wasn’t exhibiting common symptoms at the time, he told me to come back in 14 days if I developed regular symptoms like cough or fever.

    surviving coronavirus
    Picture by Hilary.

    I refused.

    I explained that I couldn’t smell anything and that my sense of taste was also altered. I asked that rather than come back after it was too late, I wanted to get tested and start treatment. There was no way I was leaving their facility without getting tested. After a back and forth, they tested me. This happened on a Wednesday. 

    On Saturday morning, I got a call from the NCDC saying that I tested positive and an ambulance was coming to pick me.

    At that point, my body was shaking from fear because I didn’t understand what was happening. My colleagues from work advised that an ambulance would be too dramatic and might expose me to social media drama. They advised that if I was feeling well enough, I should quietly drive down to the centre. I packed a few things: Water, Aboniki balm, vitamins and I drove down. 

    My time at the hospital was fairly okay. The nurses and doctors were empathetic, but I guess they were overwhelmed. They didn’t plan for the number of cases they got so there were times they spoke out of turn. 

    At some point, we ran out of water in the ward. Part of our treatment involved drinking lots of water to stay hydrated. In the beginning, we got as many as 3 – 4 bottles of water per meal. But as our numbers increased, this reduced to one bottle per meal. On one occasion, someone needed more than a bottle and the staff said: “tell your people to bring you water.” It didn’t make sense because that person’s only family member was his pregnant wife. And she stayed in Ajah. It was a silly statement asking his wife to drive down to Yaba because of one bottle of water. We eventually called them out, and they started giving us more than one bottle again.

    Losing my sense of smell was a blessing in disguise because it meant that if the hospital toilet was dirty or smelling, I wasn’t affected. This gave me a soft landing as I settled in. People were checking on me and that occupied my time so I didn’t feel lonely. During my sickness, my boss sent me ₦100,000. My sister sent me fruits, kettle, ginger, and green tea. I also had two friends that sent me food – one sent a smoothie with salad. Another friend sent me special fried rice, with pasta, sauce and a smoothie. 

    After getting discharged from the hospital, I now know that I can stay alone in my own space for days and not get bored. I discovered my need for Netflix in the centre. Before I went to the isolation centre, I never bothered with Netflix because I am not a movie person. At the hospital, I saw the movie 93 days about Ebola in Nigeria. The movie gave me the strength to pull through.

    Since I got home, I now take regular evening walks to stretch my body. Sometimes, I run into people from work who still avoid me. It makes me feel somehow, but people see things differently. If the roles were reversed, I don’t think I would do that to them.

    Coronavirus is a deadly disease, but it’s not a death sentence. I have not fully recovered. My sense of smell hasn’t fully returned, but I feel it coming back. However, I think my sense of taste is back. I look forward to the day I can finally smell my favourite Hermes and Versace perfume again.

    AYODEJI

    Age: 29

    Isolation center: Mainland Hospital, Yaba.

    Symptoms: Fatigue and fever.

    It feels good to be out and to be able to move around in my house. I was in the isolation centre for too long, and my freedom was limited. It was a tough experience because it’s not your regular malaria where you understand the pattern, and you know how your body will react. 

    I had symptoms like fatigue and fever. I had just returned from a trip to the UK so I reached out to the NCDC to get tested. It was a nerve-wracking period for me because my life was in the hands of one organisation, and I was not getting  prompt responses. I just wanted to know what was happening to my body. I could not go to the hospital because I didn’t want to put health workers at risk, but I also needed to be out of my misery.

    Because of the novelty of the virus, I had so many unanswered questions: Was I going to survive? Was I going to die? I was also thinking of all the money I hadn’t spent, all the things I had yet to enjoy. As much as it was a physical illness, it was also a mental sickness.

    After a lot of back and forth, I finally got tested by the NCDC and I was taken to the isolation centre.

    At the hospital, I had so many negative thoughts. There were days I’d try to be positive and days that I’d be negative. The way the media plastered the death scare as opposed to the cases of recovery worsened it for me. Also, because of the way the Nigerian healthcare system is structured, it’s a gamble knowing what you are getting out of that system. It was a mental gamble on whether I was going to live or die. 

    What kept me going was my faith in God because I kept on reminding God about his promises to me. I kept reciting these verses: John 10 vs 28, Jer. 17 vs 14, Isiah 41:10 -13. I also read Psalm 91.

    My family and friends were supportive. They sent me prayers, emotional support, and constantly checked up. My organisation was also on my mind because we have a lot planned for 2020. The idea that I could be dying was scary.. 

    I experienced some of the greatest kindness  at the isolation centre. One time, someone’s husband brought pizza and we had a pizza party. It’s a kind thing when people who are otherwise strangers are connected by one issue and they help each other. When one person was throwing up and losing energy, people were supportive: “Take one gulp, oya use your medication.” The communal love was one of the best things that I experienced. This made it become like a game; a game for your life. 

    It was touching. They had no reason to care about you because they were in a similar condition, but they did. It was one of the biggest kindnesses I have experienced. 

    The day my test results came back negative, I moonwalked in the isolation centre. Everyone was like “go Ayo.” I felt happy knowing that I had beaten the virus. Coming from a place where I thought I might not survive it to beating the hell out of it was a good feeling. It was a victory of hope for other people in the centre. As one of the first patients in the isolation centre, it re-assured my fellow ward mates that they could fight and win. It re-assured me that even when life throws lemons at me, I always make  juicy lemonade.

    Photo by Ayodeji on the day of her discharge.

    Beating the virus changed a lot of things for me. When I came out, I was like do I even need to have savings? Should I just have a lush life as I’m not guaranteed tomorrow? [laughs]. On a serious note, it made me appreciate life more. I now understand that sickness is a leveller. You can have a chronic disease at any time and you might not survive.


    Visit www.coronafacts.africa for the latest updates on the pandemic.

  • A Crash Course On When To Faint Like A Nigerian Politician

    A Crash Course On When To Faint Like A Nigerian Politician

    Let’s start from here:

    Nigerian politicians have a history of fainting at court hearings and getting away with their bad behavior. So, we the good people of Zikoko came up with scenarios where you can also get away with this tactic in your daily life.

    https://twitter.com/thestatewriter/status/1285187769430609920?s=20

    Here are a few:

    1) When your girlfriend catches you cheating.

    Action!

    Fainting man. Zikoko Half-naked

    2) When your oga asks you why you’re late to work.

    You know the drill.

    3) If your tailor doesn’t want to release your cloth on time.

    Faint on their neck my dear.

    4) When you attend a party and jollof passes you.

    Repeat the above.

    5) Quick, go to your bank branch today and faint.

    Maybe they’ll finally stop charging card maintenance fee.

    6) If Canada doesn’t give you a visa, you know what to do.

    If you know, you know.

    7) When people at home call for black tax.

    Off the light and faint my dear.

    8) When next your landlord increases your rent, show yourself.

    Add a little bit of display and saliva to sell it.

    9) Anytime your parents ask when you’ll get married.

    FAINT ON THEIR HEAD.

    10) If anyone asks about your plans for the future, repeat the action plan above.

    You are welcome.

  • NDDC Is In A Mess At The Moment, And This Is Why

    NDDC Is In A Mess At The Moment, And This Is Why

    The Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC) is in a mess at the moment, and two people are at the centre of it — Joy Nunieh and Godswill Akpabio. 

    NDDC

    Who are these people?

    Joy Nunieh was the Acting Managing Director of the NDDC from October 29, 2019, to February 28, 2020.

    Godswill Akpabio is a former governor of Akwa-Ibom State, where he served for 8 years. He is currently the Minister of Niger Delta Affairs, the ministry that oversees the operations of the NDDC. 

    What’s the fuss about?

    The short answer is a probe.

    But it probably goes way back. 

    President Buhari ordered the audit of the commission’s accounts last year as the commission seemed to be spending a lot of money but having little to show for it. 

    Currently, the Senate is probing into financial mismanagement by the Interim Management Committee, used to be headed by Nunieh. A six-man Ad-hoc committee had been set and one of their objectives is getting to the root of how ₦40 billion was spent by the commission between January and March 2020.

    The Dirty Laundry 

    It looks like both Akpabio and Nunieh aren’t fans of each other. After appearing at the final session of the Senate ad hoc committee probe over the weekend, Nunieh took some time to speak to journalists.

    The former MD claims that Mr Akpabio knew everything about how money moved in and out of the commission during her time as Managing Director. 

    She also touched on the circumstances that led to her being fired, alleging that the minister orchestrated everything. According to what she said, Akpabio removed her from office because she wouldn’t budge to his demands as regards the spending of the commission. 

    “Nobody makes any payment in NDDC without Godswill Akpabio’s approval. When we first came, on the day of the inauguration, he said to me in the car, ‘Madam MD, if you don’t do what I say, the same pen with which I used to sign your paper is the same pen I’ll use to remove you.” she says.

    Mr Akpabio has denied these allegations. He said that the former NDDC boss was fired because of insubordination and for not participating in the mandatory one-year National Youth Service Corps (NYSC)  scheme. 

    One more thing

    Joy Nunieh, while speaking during a TV interview claimed that Mr Akpabio tried to harass her sexually her in his guest house in Abuja, and she slapped him to put him back in his place. 

    She added that Akpabio tried to inflate the budget of the commission and wanted her to help him do it.

  • The Anti-Sexual Harassment Bill Has Passed Its Third Reading

    The Anti-Sexual Harassment Bill Has Passed Its Third Reading

    For a very long time, women around the world have been victims of sexual-based violence.

    anti-sexual harassment

    For the most part, the abusers get away with these crimes. But more than ever, women are coming out to tell their stories and exposing their abusers. 

    And this may be yielding some results. 

    In 2019, the Nigerian Senate re-introduced an anti-sexual harassment bill following the BBC African Eye Sex-for-Grades documentary, which exposed the sexual misconduct of lecturers at University of Lagos and University of Ghana. It should also be noted that a Professor of Accounting at Obafemi Awolowo University, Richard Akindele, was found guilty of sexual harassment and jailed in 2018. 

    What is the anti-sexual harassment bill about?

    The bill is aimed at promoting ethical standards and protecting students against sexual harassment by lecturers in Nigerian tertiary institutions. The bill was re-introduced on October 9, 2019, and passed its second reading on November 2019.

    How does the bill protect students?

    – Any lecturer that demands for sex or has sex with a student or prospective student faces up to 14 years (minimum of 5 years) in prison with no option of fine. 

    – Any lecturer that intimidates or creates a hostile environment for a student by making sexual advances or soliciting for sex faces up to 14 years in prison with no option of fine. 

    – Any lecturer that directs another person to commit an act of sexual harassment or participates in a case of sexual harassment by another person faces up to 14 years in prison with no option of fine. 

    – Any lecturer that grabs, hugs, kisses, rubs, or strokes or touches or pinches the breasts or hair or lips or hips or buttocks or any other sensual part of the body of a student faces a minimum of 2 years and maximum of 5 years in prison.

    – Any lecturer that displays, gives or sends by hand or courier or electronic or any other means naked or sexually explicit pictures or videos or sex related objects to a student faces a minimum of 2 years and a maximum of 5 years in prison. 

    – Any lecturer that whistles or winks at a student or screams or exclaims or jokes or makes sexually complimentary or uncomplimentary remarks about a student’s physique or stalks a student faces a minimum of 2 years and a maximum of 5 years in prison.

    Read more about the bill here.

    The Bill has passed its third reading, what is next?

    The bill has now gone through all the required steps and there are only a few things left before it is passed into law. Now, the Senate will send the bill to the House of Representatives for agreement. After that, it will be sent to the president for assent. 

    Read this: An Oral History Of Bisi Olaleye’s Abuse

  • QUIZ: How Well Do You Know The 2nd Stanza Of The National Anthem?

    QUIZ: How Well Do You Know The 2nd Stanza Of The National Anthem?

    Oh, look. That National anthem stanza you never bothered to learn has come back in the form of a fun quiz to bite you in the ass.

  • How Lagosians Are Reacting To Third Mainland’s Closure

    How Lagosians Are Reacting To Third Mainland’s Closure

    Breaking News: Third Mainland Bridge will be shut down for repairs from the 24th of July, 2020.

    This headline makes very little sense because Lagos has been on lockdown back to back for months. That’s months of nobody being out on the bridge, months that could have been used to do this maintenance work but somehow now is the time the government decides to do it. And you guessed right, Nigerians have a lot to say about this recent development.

    1. Our prayers are with them.

    2. We’re wondering the same thing.

    https://twitter.com/Mc_Phils/status/1280146703455260673?s=20

    3. We are not shouting sa, it’s beg we are begging sa.

    4. The struggle just got harder.

    5. True though. But what if we want to check something on the mainland or the island?

    6. E be things.

    https://twitter.com/__Henryyyy__/status/1280174029933027331?s=20

    7. This angle.

    https://twitter.com/mccoolcoffee1/status/1280188311273865218?s=20

    8. And you didn’t tell us?

    9. What she said.

    10. He is raising a lot of valid questions.

    11. Very good question.

    https://twitter.com/osee80/status/1280214384753758208?s=20

    Tough times my people, but we have happy thoughts to help you stay sane:

  • 13 Hilarious Tweets About The EFCC Acting Chairman, Ibrahim Magu

    13 Hilarious Tweets About The EFCC Acting Chairman, Ibrahim Magu

    In a surprising and recent turn of events the acting chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, Ibrahim Magu, has been arrested or “invited for questioning” by the Department of State Services (DSS).

    It however seems like he has a record and has been on the DSS radar for years now. According to Sahara News, way back in 2010, the DSS found Magu guilty of withholding of EFCC files, sabotage, unauthorized removal of EFCC files and acts unbecoming of a police officer, all of which are actions prejudicial to state security. He was reportedly awarded severe reprimand as punishment. 

    In 2016 another DSS report revealed that Magu was living in a N40m mansion. This accommodation was reportedly not paid [for] from the commission’s finances, but by a certain Umar Mohammed, air commodore retired, who himself is a questionable businessman who was subsequently been arrested by the secret service.

    Magu also enlisted the Federal Capital Development Authority to award a contract to Africa Energy, a company owned by the same Mohammed, to furnish said residence at the cost of N43m. Further investigations show that the acting EFCC chairman regularly embarked on official and private trips through a private jet owned by the same Mr Mohammed and constantly flies first class when using airlines.

    All evidence points to a beneficial relationship between Magu and Mohammed. With all this in view, one has to wonder why he was ever appointed acting chairman of a commission whose duty is to fight corruption.

    He has occupied the position in an acting capacity for many years.

    As has become the culture with every breaking news no matter the severity Nigerians took to twitter to air the opinions which most often turn out to be savage remarks and jokes;

    1. Is that even allowed?

    2. Seriously.

    3. It’s not funny at all.

    4. Yes indeed.

    5. Fingers crossed.

    https://twitter.com/ObongRoviel/status/1280140422543822848?s=20

    6. He said what he said.

    7. Insert tears.

    https://twitter.com/ObongRoviel/status/1280143743149105152?s=20

    8. Valid question.

    9. Another valid question and relevant conclusion.

    https://twitter.com/Tife_fabunmi/status/1280149628286099456?s=20

    10. Omo.

    11. It’s actually NOT funny.

    12. It will be really hard to make these plot twists believable to future generations.

    https://twitter.com/OmoKiikan/status/1280143529772277760?s=20

    13. Busy putting 2 and 2 together.

    https://twitter.com/FaruqBashar/status/1280136019262701570?s=20
  • 14 Struggles That People Who Didn’t Attend Medilag Won’t Understand

    14 Struggles That People Who Didn’t Attend Medilag Won’t Understand

    Luth is/was a bubble. A slice of a slice of the world tucked away. If you went to Luth or you currently school there, chances are that you’ll relate to one or more of these.

    1) River Luth.

    Let’s start by giving honor to whom honor is due. We shall not speak too much on this because God no go shame us outside.

    2) Kissing with both eyes very very wide open because of security men.

    If you know, you know.

    3) Hustling food on Sundays.

    The ghetto. The only other option was foodie rice with no meat. Dog days are over.

    4) Celebrating 50 on the dot.

    How many times did you have to remind yourself in the exam hall that you were first in primary school? A whole star boy/girl humbled by Luth. The worst part was Akoka people not being able to relate to why 50 was a big deal.

    5) Radiography hustle.

    If you ever went to see woman in radiography hostel, line up pls.

    6) Playing temple run because of OPH rats.

    OPH rats will put the fear of God in the heart of a non-believer.

    7) Praying at Hall 36.

    Especially when your village people followed you to write your incourse. Luth made people believe in a higher power.

    8) Going to read overnight because of our landlords.

    Where landlord = bed bugs. And read = sleep of course.

    Young african male working in the office business sleeping

    9) Hostel runs.

    Hustling to submit forms with your guys and also choosing the block that had a running shower.

    10) The great migration.

    Going from one block to the other to have your bath because of clean toilet – especially on mama Balo’s floor.

    11) Pharmacy student and lab reports.

    Pharmacognosy. Dispensing. Every time, “I have report to write.” Sorry oh, secretary.

    12) Dental students and “I need three patients.”

    Class one, class two, class pls let us graduate. Sorry oh, marketer.

    13) Medical students and “I have not signed my logbook.”

    Every time, “Have you signed?” Pẹlẹ, P.A to the Provost.

    14) Only OG’s know Bread man and Ceedars.

    When will you marry?

    Now that I have your attention, please help broadcast this petition to pay House Officers their arrears.

  • 7 Nigerians Secretly Told Zikoko Their Thoughts On Online Shaming

    7 Nigerians Secretly Told Zikoko Their Thoughts On Online Shaming

    My Bookclub recently read “So you’ve been publicly shamed” by Jon Ronson. The book talks about the history of public shaming and the re-emergence of public shaming due to Social media. Notably on Twitter.

    Here’s what some members had to say about the issue of public shaming. Read and share your thoughts with us.

    Anu/Female.

    “After going through my Twitter timeline, my conclusion is that dragging/public shaming in Nigeria rarely has long term/life-altering consequences. However, I believe that it can be a useful teaching tool.

    Dragging generally allows for introspection. Whether I’m the one being dragged or its another person being dragged, we’ll think twice before saying anything online. Yes, we should try not to public shame. Yes, we should also remember that a person is more than their flaws, but dragging has its uses.”

    Kris/Male.

    “I believe that public shaming is too dangerous a tool to be left in a setting without clear rules. It is more effective when people are taught from a place of comprehension and clarity than when you brandish fear.

    Public shaming is fear unbridled.

    online shaming

    It is a deeply human thing to be scared of public humiliation, so we conform out of fear. There will always be those who are immune to fear. Truthfully, given enough time, public shaming methods must evolve unless they will lose their power. Setting up and constantly refining our justice system is our safest bet in the long run. The law is not perfect, but it can be made so.

    A mob is what public shaming becomes, and a mob is not a reliable means of dispensing justice. Now imagine a mob that never really dies. When you are publicly shamed on the internet, it remains with you forever. There is no real forgiveness on the internet. Only punishment, condemnation and sometimes bullying people to accept truths that might be subjective.”

    Fikun/Female.

    While public shaming/calling out can seem like a faster way to get justice, it isn’t necessarily a better option. The ease with which people post and reshare things can easily blind us from critically reviewing the allegations we’re making against others.

    It’s also easy for things to be blown out of proportion. Sometimes, in ways that it wouldn’t have if the Internet wasn’t involved.

    Ultimately, the Internet and social media are relatively new forms of communication. However, we are gradually learning more about the effects it can have on everyday life. Hopefully, we will find better ways to regulate it.”

    Lulu/Female.

    “Online shaming is an imperfect tool in a world like Nigeria where justice can be hard to get. I understand how it can spiral out of control. It’s certainly always necessary to give people second chances, but I still believe it can be an effective teaching tool.

    Harsh as that might sound, it forces us to analyse ourselves and step up our standards.”

    Val/Female.

    “Online shaming is a useful tool that is mostly wielded by inexperienced, self-righteous, impatient and easily angered people. It has its pros but it has its serious cons. I strongly believe that until there’s an appropriate governing body, it’s a tool that should be wielded with utmost care. It should only during the direst of times. I fear that we are raising a generation that is politically correct online but trash offline.

    We do not want a world where people have perfected wearing masks.”

    Damola/Female.

    “In my opinion, online shaming sprung from the power of communication I.e the internet made the world a smaller space. It’s a manifestation of too many thoughts and can be likened to a public trial. Its effectiveness is subjective as there will always be different outcomes for presented cases. However, it should always be at the back of our mind that it is not an exemplary means for justice.”

    online shaming

    Tunmi/Male.

    “In my opinion, making social media the kangaroo court for cases is a big issue. Defining what is right without any guiding principles is very subjective as we have different moral compasses. People end up acting based on impulse and emotions – no one questions whether it is true or not. The minute you are accused, you are likely to be dragged.

    I also can’t ignore that in order to avoid being shamed, it has also brought about faster responses to accusations. Like Ramsey Nouah and his employee’s story. So it’s a two-sided tool which is currently not balanced.”

    This story was edited for clarity. Some details have been changed to protect the identity of the subject.

    What do you think? Share your thoughts with us!

  • I Took All The Precautions And Still Got COVID

    I Took All The Precautions And Still Got COVID
    COVID

    Ever since the lockdown eased up, there has been a relaxed atmosphere among Nigerians. Fewer people are wearing masks and there are “small parties” happening all over the country. Understandably, people are tired. 

    How worried would you feel if you avoided these parties, followed the necessary guidelines, and still got COVID-19? Today, Lisa and Tomiwa share their experience with taking precautions and still getting infected.

    When did you first suspect that you had COVID-19?

    My wife fell ill, and that made us get tested. I wouldn’t have known I was sick if she hadn’t fallen ill because I’m completely asymptomatic.

    Damn, what were her symptoms?

    She had a fever that lasted two or three nights. The type where the fever disappeared during the daytime and came back at night. She was also tired – a lot of fatigue – like constantly tired.

    Then she lost her sense of smell.

    Wow.

    Prior to her falling ill, she would go to work once a week. Other than that, we only went out for essential shopping like groceries. And that was like once every two weeks. Apart from grocery shopping, I’ve not had any reason to go out because I’ve been working from home.

    At the beginning of her illness, I think she went to work once – One day when she was feeling better, and before we got the diagnosis that it was COVID-19. Immediately we got the diagnosis, we informed people in our compound. Now, we’re just isolating inside our house.

    We are fitness people. Before this started; we were dosing up on vitamins, keeping fit and just staying healthy. Our cook came in one Monday morning after going home for the weekend and said he had malaria, so we sent him home. We told him to go isolate and get tested. Then my wife fell ill the next day.

    We are a little bit concerned that she might have gotten it from him. Now it’s just the two of us at home and I’ve been looking after her. It’s been two weeks of giving her vitamins, food, and just kind of keeping the house together. She’s been fine and hasn’t been doing too much. 

    Has this affected the quality of your 9-5?

    Not significantly.

    The best thing about working from home is that your schedule is your own. If you want to wake up earlier, you can do that. If you want to work later in the evening, you can also do that. The difference between being in the office and now is that I’ve done a hundred loads of laundry since this thing started. 

    It just feels like I’m always washing clothes. It feels like I’m always doing dishes. It’s just the two of us at home, why are there so many bloody dishes? Why are there so many bowls? 

    You just do stuff on your own schedule. If you have a call, you take your call. The thing about calls is that if it’s a conference call where you’re not the one talking, you can mute and be doing the dishes while it’s happening. So, you’re taking your phone and moving it around while you’re doing things. You finish a call, you make lunch, you do some work, you do the dishes.

    Because we’re home, it’s a bit easier to manage the time pressure and the logistics of the thing. If she were ill and I had to go to the office, that would change the equation completely. In a sense, it’s a blessing that it’s happening this way.

    I’m curious. Are you saying she got Corona even with preventive measures?

    In the first two months of the quarantine – like March, April and most of May, we were super strict. As I said, we have someone who works with us, but for at least the first 8 weeks, we just sent him home – and we were paying salary o. Just sit down in your house and be collecting salary, don’t come to work. We also didn’t receive visitors.

    The lockdown eased in like two or three stages. When the government eased it the second time, we were like “we’re tired”, so we let the guy come back to work.

    Then, after they released the lockdown again, my wife started going to work.

    When the cook came back to work – we told him to have a shower, change his outside clothes to inside clothes, and wear a mask before coming into the house. We knew that wasn’t the most ideal protocol but we relaxed a little bit, with the mask.

    Why didn’t your wife continue working from home?

    She works in manufacturing and they sometimes have to go in.

    Ah, I see. What has been the scariest day since she got ill?

    The scariest day health-wise was the first day. She had a fever so bad that I really wanted to take her to the hospital but we knew that hospitals would turn us back because of COVID fear. She had really bad headaches, and was super tired; that was worrying. When she lost her sense of smell, we were like “oh, this might be COVID.” Then when we got our results, we were like “right, we’re positive.” 

    Then there was having to tell people. There’s still a huge stigma to it; different people react differently. Some people were angry with us for not telling them quickly enough, others were really worried for us – We were just like we have this thing but don’t be scared, she seems to be okay. Thankfully, I think her case is relatively mild. She hasn’t had any breathing issues. She’s been taking her vitamins and just resting. She took paracetamol to break the fever. But it hasn’t been as bad as some of the cases we’ve heard of.

    So, I think the health scare hasn’t been as bad for us.

    Whew! How did you guys even get tested?

    So we did two tests.

    A friend had the antibody tests and we took two of those. It’s a blood test that you do at home. The way it’s supposed to work is that if you have the disease or you’ve had it, there are antibodies to show that your body is fighting it. Or that your body developed antibodies to fight it.

    There’s an IgG antibody. Basically, if you have it, it means your body is currently fighting it. Then, there’s IgM which means you had it and your body developed antibodies to fight it. So, we took that and they came back negative. But we were advised to still take a proper COVID test.

    My dad told us about Mainland hospital in Yaba where we could get it done. So we just drove down there and got tested, it took about 90 minutes and it was completely free. They sent us back home, and we got our results back in about 3 or 4 days.

    How did you guys handle the apprehension as you waited? 

    She became sick on a Tuesday. We thought it doesn’t seem like COVID. It’s just a headache, fever, tiredness. Then by Friday of that week, she lost her sense of smell. So, we were like “ah, this might be COVID.”

    Before we even knew it was COVID, we went to a regular hospital. They did a blood test for malaria and it came back negative. We then went to Mainland hospital in Yaba to get tested for COVID. And remember, it took them 3-4 days to get our results. So, we were basically managing it ourselves for almost two weeks.

    The instructions from the internet have been to boost your immune system: Eat food that’ll boost your immune system. Take vitamins like Vitamin c, Zinc, Vitamin D and then a general multivitamin. If you have a fever, take paracetamol. So, there’s no chloroquine, or treating yourself for malaria and all of that. Just treat your symptoms, isolate at home, and drink lots of fluids. 

    We did have some apprehension after we took the test that she might have to go to an isolation centre, but we’ve been able to isolate at home. 

    So, it’s been like DIY?

    Ish.

    Cool. What about this current crisis gives you hope based on your own experience?

    There are two or three things that give us hope:

    One – She got it and it wasn’t as bad as we’ve heard it can be. I don’t know if it’s because we have a lighter strain in Nigeria. I don’t know if it’s because she has no relevant underlying conditions. She was in really good health ahead of time. We are fitness people and take vitamins even when there’s nothing on the horizon. If you have a healthy immune system and no underlying condition, there’s a possibility that it won’t be that bad. I’m not saying people shouldn’t take it seriously, but we got a relatively mild case of it.

    Secondly, I’ve been asymptomatic. so that gives some kind of hope. Like my test came back positive, but I’ve been fine. I don’t know if I’m immune or anything, but I’m fine.

    Thirdly, the testing was efficient even though 90 mins is a long time to wait. To be fair, we were number 98 on the queue. There were a lot of people and it was relatively well-spaced and organized. It was orderly, there was not too much shalaye. The process was just to fill this form and give them that information, then we got tested. It looked like it was a well-run process.

    The results take some time to come out, which can be a bit annoying. Other than that, it’s fine.

    Nice. How have you been coping with the isolation boredom?

    So, both of us have been working out at home. Even with this thing, we’re still exercising. It’s also been work, tv, and books. 

    The silver lining of this thing is that I’ve never hung out alone with my wife for so long – that’s a good thing. I’m enjoying that.

    COVID
  • Seyitan’s Case Against D’banj: Everything You Need To Know

    Seyitan’s Case Against D’banj: Everything You Need To Know

    Seyitan’s case against D’banj is gradually unraveling before our eyes.

    Seyitan was kidnapped by Dbanj and his team on June 18 according to a new press statement by Seyitan Babatoyo.

    Last week, we published an article asking about Seyitan’s whereabouts. At the time, there were still a lot of speculations about the exact situation and in whose custody she was. Seyitan has now come out to state exactly what happened and to provide an update.

    Seyitan's Case Against D'banj

    Here’s what we know so far:

    1. Seyitan came out to tell her story on June 3.

    On June 3, 2020, Seyitan tweeted that she was raped by Dbanj in December 2018.

    2. She published a statement from her lawyers online on June 5

    In this statement, Seyitan basically wanted an apology from D’banj. She tried reporting to the police on June 6 but was not attended to.

    3. Dbanj published his statement from his lawyers on June 15.

    They demanded N100m in damages.

    4. She was arrested on June 16.

    Four police officers gained entry into her home after pretending to be delivery agents. They arrested her and took her to IGP IRT Harold Shodipo, Ikeja. She spent the night in the police cell.

    5. Her mum was not arrested.

    According to popular tweets saying that Seyitan and her mum were arrested, it is now confirmed that this was not the case. Seyitan alone was detained.

    6. She was released on June 17 but had to sign a gag order.

    Thanks to efforts from different people including journalists and activists who were made aware of the situation, Seyitan was released on June 17. She however had to sign a gag order by the police and Dbanj’s team and could only post what had been approved by Dbanj on social media.

    7. Even though she was released on June 17, she didn’t go home on June 17.

    Seyitan spent the night in a location that D’banj chose. She was isolated pressured and intimidated by D’banj and his team to retract statements and say that her testimony was a publicity stunt.

    See one of such posts:

    8. She was found on June 18 through satellite mapping.

    Activists including the executive director of Stand to End Rape found her and took her somewhere safe.

    9. D’banj through his team has continued to harass her.

    Read the rest of the statement here:

    10. Dbanj took to social media to say that he was innocent until proven guilty

    Seyitan's Case Against D'banj

    11. Over 20,000 people have signed an online petition calling on the United Nations to strip D’Banj of his appointment.

    12. Seyitan’s case against D’banj

    Seyitan has filed a formal criminal complaint of rape against Dbanj. “Yesterday, Monday the 22nd of June, 2020, I Ms Seyitan Babatayo, formally made a criminal complaint of rape by Mr Oladape Daniel Oyebanjo popularly known as a D’banj at the Gender Desk of the Nigeria Police Force Lagos Police Command Headquarters, Ikeja Lagos,

    13. Nigerians have reacted to the new statement and are asking for actions to be taken:

    We’ll be updating this with more details on Seyitan’s case against D’banj as new facts emerge.

  • Where Is Seyitan?

    “Where is Seyitan?” is the question everyone is currently asking on social media.

    In the past few weeks, cases of gender-based violence and rape have been on the rise in the news: Justice For Uwa, Tina and Barakat. This has encouraged more Nigerian women to tell their stories of sexual assault and name abusers online and offline.

    There have been accusations against celebrities and other notable individuals, including Brymo, Peruzzi, Bollylomo, Kendall Ananyi and D’banj, who allegedly raped Seyitan in December 2018.

    Who is Seyitan?

    A survivor of rape — one of many Nigerian women. On the 3rd of June, 2020, Seyitan shared details of being raped by D’banj on Twitter. This came after a Nigerian model scout, Benjamin Ese, alleged that Dbanj raped his friend on December 31, 2018, at Glee hotel in Victoria Island, Lagos. At the time Benjamin Ese posted this on Instagram, he didn’t disclose his friend’s identity. The friend in question is Seyitan.

    A few days later, Seyitan followed this with a letter from her lawyers to the Dbanj. In the letter, Seyitan demanded an apology from D’banj.

    What did D’banj say?

    Where is Seyitan

    At first, nothing. However, on the 16th of June, he posted a statement on Instagram from his lawyers to Seyitan in which he:

    1. Denied the allegations.
    2. Called Seyitan a gold digger.
    3. Alleged that Seyitan had defamed him.
    4. Demanded a public apology.
    5. Demanded N100 million in damages.

    The statement has been deleted from his Instagram page. You can read it here:

    https://twitter.com/_Tifeee/status/1272926382394400769?s=19

    What happened next?

    On June 17, just a day after Dbanj released his statement, Seyitan cleared all her tweets and released this statement:

    Around the time this statement was released, journalists and human rights’ activists informed the public that Seyitan had been arrested and began to raise money for her bail. This revelation made people suspicious about Seyitan’s tweet.

    https://twitter.com/kikimordi/status/1273272261902991361?s=20
    https://twitter.com/kikimordi/status/1273485302888308737?s=20

    Was she released?

    According to investigative journalist, Kiki Mordi, Seyitan was released around 7pm yesterday.

    https://twitter.com/kikimordi/status/1273316943899037696?s=20

    Upon her release, she denied being arrested — a tweet most people suspect was made under duress or intimidation. There were also suspicions that she had been hacked.

    Where is she now?

    No one knows for sure. People who have been in contact with her have reason to suspect that she is being detained by D’banj’s manager.

    Her suspicious tweets from this morning lend credence to this line of thought:

    Nigerians are now asking for her whereabouts and calling on the Nigerian police force to act responsibly.

    You can donate to the fund that was set up to assist her with legal fees. We hope that she is found safe as soon as possible, and that the police and other government officials act fast.

    And if you want to find more information on how to support rape survivors and the families of victims, you can do that here.

    An Update

    As of 1:55pm, we’re happy to announce that Seyitan has been released. See details below:

  • Will Nigeria Ever Have Constant Electricity? We Asked 5 People

    Will Nigeria Ever Have Constant Electricity? We Asked 5 People

    Still on my personal lockdown which isn’t ending anytime this year or maybe even next — I have taken to asking my friends the most inane questions every week, to pass the time. Two weeks ago it was if they’d rather have walrus canines for teeth or horse’s feet for legs (Think about it!).

    Last week, it was the probability of Nigerians eating aliens before they even get the chance to ask for our supreme leaders (before you say no, remember those whales that got eaten). Now this week, it’s a maybe sixty-something old question that I decided to throw out, simply asking: which day Nigeria go get light? Here’s what they had to say.

    Never going to happen – Onyi

    That’s it oh. There’s no long talk. It’s just never going to happen. If in the middle of a pandemic, the senate can cut the health budget by almost half, but spend 27 billion on renovating a building that doesn’t need it, then that’s all you need to know. It’s never going to be a pressing enough matter for the government because Nigerians have been coping well enough all these years, why should they use their own small 8 years to solve a national crisis? They have trips to take.

    So nope, never going to happen.

    It may happen, but not in my lifetime – Damola

    The funny thing is, people might say I’m an eternal optimist, but I really think Nigeria is going to get it right one of these days. It’s not going to be in my lifetime, and I’m young (25, for any ladies interested), so nobody should be hoping for 24/7 light as 2021 new year’s gift from the government.

    I think the shame of being so far behind might eventually just get to them. If Somalia can have constant electricity, what exactly is our excuse. But then again, for this to work, I have to imagine the government feels shame… see, I don’t actually know about the light thing. Let’s be seeing.

    Unless you people have another Nigeria you’re hiding in Cotonou’s back, nope – Femisire

    If there’s another Nigeria somewhere in Cotonou, then maybe yes. But as long as it is the Nigerian I’ve spent 26 years living in oh, me, I’m going to tell you for free that you shouldn’t waste your time waiting for the government to give you constant electricity. Get your gen on lock, I heard that solar power isn’t the worst. But if you’re praying for one miracle to touch somebody’s heart to use his flex money, aka tax payer’s money to fix this light issue. Good luck oh.

    I 100% believe Nigeria will have constant electricity one day – Tinuke

    I’m speaking as a person of faith. Nigeria will have constant electricity one day. I can’t tell you when, it’s hard to give a definite date. But let me tell you, the plans God has for this country will confuse the naysayers and anyone that has spent their lifetimes confused at its current state. Just wait, the turn around is coming.

    I’m half and half – Kolawole

    Part of me doesn’t think Nigeria will ever get to the point of constant electricity. But the other part is so scared at the reality of us never reaching even that feat, that I have to be hopeful that one day, it will be a reality.

    Truthfully, I don’t know that this light issue will ever be be cleared in my lifetime, but I just have to hope that it will be.

    What do you guys think?

  • Nigeria Approved ₦27bn for Its National Assembly’s Renovation? In A Pandemic?

    Nigeria Approved ₦27bn for Its National Assembly’s Renovation? In A Pandemic?

    On June 3rd, 2020, smack in the middle of a pandemic that’s kicking even the most advanced countries’ asses — Nigeria, of growing infection numbers and ‘mysterious deaths’, decided to cut its health budget to focus on a more important area: the renovation of its national assembly building with ₦27 bn.

    Because where best to write ‘National Ass’ than at the top of a needlessly expensive and deeply unnecessary structure? (Somebody take out the lights oat the National Assembly when it’s completed and make this a thing? Jk, jk👀)

    nigerian national assembly renovation 27bn

    As you may know, no one has really given AF about oil (the bread, butter, bread knife, plate and side dish of the Nigerian economy) for a hot minute. This is because of the coronavirus, whose preventive measures have mandated isolation, leaving people and their gas-guzzling automobiles confined to their homes.

    Nigeria and its broke ass, as a matter of urgency had to adjust its budget for the year, because the reduced oil demand automatically translates to reduced earnings. This is how Part 9257 of the Nigerian government’s idiocy came on display.

    national assembly 27bn renovation

    Last year, the government with the highest percentage of extremely poor people, okayed the renovation of the National Assembly building for  ₦35 bn. It was a stupid idea then, and its markdown to ₦27 bn doesn’t change it now.

    More enraging is the fact that the health budget, from a could-be-better  ₦44 bn, to a downright unforgivable ₦25 billion. Our government, in the middle of a pandemic, whose initial isolation centers had to be largely funded from private hands, decided a  ₦19 billion cut was the right move to make?

    Thankfully, the amount of Nigerians that think the government has lost the entirety of its mind with this move, full ground. Here are some reactions on Twitter to the health budget cut:

    https://twitter.com/MaxxAsari/status/1268255814927749126?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet
    https://twitter.com/BellaAlubo/status/1268270652303253506?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

    Oh, did we mention the education budget got a cut from ₦111 bn to ₦51 bn? Budget that we could have shocked by sharing the money for this renovation around key sectors. Nonsense and ingredient.

    nigeria national assembly renovation 27bn

    If you can, let the discontent in your voice be heard. Speak out against the government’s move on social media or anywhere you have some influence and while doing so, go a few decibels higher to spread the word on how #justiceforvictims of rape in Nigeria can be enforced.

  • COVID-19 Update: Churches & Mosques In Nigeria Can Now Be Reopened

    COVID-19 Update: Churches & Mosques In Nigeria Can Now Be Reopened

    “Churches and Mosques” in Nigeria was trending on social media yesterday, June 1st. If you were swarmed with some of the other important things trending, you may have missed the announcement and the relevance of the trend: new Covid-19 guidelines were issued by the Presidential Task Force on Covid-19.

    Here’s what we know about the updated guidelines:

    1. Curfew

    The curfew which was formerly 8pm – 6am has been moved to 10pm—4am.

    2. Banks

    Churches Mosques Nigeria

    Banks and other companies in the financial sector are now back to normal working hours

    3. Churches and Mosques in Nigeria:

    Churches Mosques Nigeria

    Churches and mosques can now be reopened, but this is still restricted to regular services and is based on the state governments protocols. Worshippers should wear masks, properly sanitise their hands, among other health guidelines to tackle the spread of COVID-19.

    However, if churches and mosques are opening in the rest of Nigeria, this isn’t applicable to Lagos. According to the Commissioner for Home Affairs, Anofiu Elegushi, churches, mosques, and other worship centres in Lagos will remain shut due to the continued high number of coronavirus cases in the state.

    However states like Akwaibom would be reopening churches from June 7.

    4. Restaurants:

    If you’re into fine-dining, we don’t have good news for you. According to the new guidelines, restaurants outside of hotels must remain closed for eat-in. Only take-out is allowed.

    5. What about things that make your life easier and fun on a normal day?

    Still closed. Here we’re talking about bars, gyms, cinemas, nightclubs and park. They’re closed until further evaluation

    6. Can the kids go back to school?

    Nope. All schools to remain closed until further evaluation.

    7. What about social distancing?

    Social distancing and all the rules of keeping safe remain intact. Wear your masks, wash your hands, use your hand sanitizers, don’t touch your face, etc.

    8. What about flights?

    We don’t know yet but the aviation industry has requested to be allowed to develop protocols in order for domestic flights to resume from June 21, 2020.

    See more details in thread below:

    Here are some reactions to the updated guidelines:

    https://twitter.com/534_angeli/status/1267549449380859904?s=20
  • Justice For Uwa and Tina – An Online Protest

    Justice For Uwa and Tina – An Online Protest

    Justice for Uwa and Tina has been trending on social media for the past few days. Yesterday, it was reported that an undergraduate (Vera Uwaila Omozuwa) of Uniben was raped and killed in a Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) in Benin.

    Justice for Uwa and Tina
    Vera Uwaila Omozuwa

    Tina Ezekwe on the other hand was killed a few days ago by policemen in Berger, Lagos. Since then, Nigerians off and on social media have organised online and offline protests in order to seek justice for the Uwa and Tina

    Justice for Uwa and Tina
    Tina Ezekwe

    Here’s what we know so far:

    The organised protests started this morning (June 1st) with Twitter users tweeting photos of themselves with placards and cardboard signs, seeking for justice for Uwa and Tina. They’re also calling for justice for Jennifer who was gang raped by five men a few weeks ago (April 27) in Kaduna.

    Where is the physical protest?

    In Benin, the physical protest started at the national museum with rules of social distancing followed:

    Has the RCCG said anything?

    After hours of calling on RCCG to release a statement, they finally released a statement on Uwa’s death:

    Who else is talking?

    Advocacy groups, celebrities and influencers have also condemned the rape and murder of Uwa and are joining the protest online:

    Did the governor of Edo State say anything yet?

    Yes. Governor Obaseki, the governor of Edo state has also ordered the police to thoroughly investigate the incidence:

    Here’s what you need to know on how to lend your voice in seeking for justice for Uwa and Tina:

    https://twitter.com/Blaise_21/status/1267199769790873600?s=20

    What about the police officers who shot Tina?

    The two policemen, Theophilus Otobo and Oguntoba Olamigoke, were arrested by the Lagos State Police Command for the act and are being subjected to internal disciplinary proceedings. The Lagos State Commissioner of Police, Hakeem Odumosu, has ordered an in-depth investigation into the circumstances surrounding the death of Tina Ezekwe


    Please share this article using the hashtag #JusticeForUwa #JusticeForJennifer and #JusticeForTina.

  • Quiz: Can You Identify These Past Nigerian Leaders?

    Quiz: Can You Identify These Past Nigerian Leaders?

    You might think this is an easy quiz, but I dare you to share it in your (family) WhatsApp groups; what’s that thing they say? “Breeze blow, fowl yansh go open.” Consider this quiz the proverbial fowl yansh.

    Nigeria has had an interesting number of leaders since independence in 1960 – some were bad, some were bad bad. No names mentioned please. Can you identify them by looking at their photos?

  • Justice For Uwa: Undergraduate Killed & Raped In A Church

    Justice For Uwa: Undergraduate Killed & Raped In A Church

    “Justice for Uwa”: If you scroll through any social media platforms today, you’ll see these three words. A few days ago, it was “Justice for Tina”.

    Who is Uwa? Vera Uwaila Omozuwa – Uwa – was an 100 level student of Microbiology at the University of Benin. A few days ago, she was reading inside a Redeemed Christian Church Of God parish in Edo state — not quite far from her home — when she was raped and killed.

    Justice For Uwa

    According to reports, her attackers smashed her head with a fire extinguisher and left her unconscious around the Ikpoba Hill area of Benin City. Although she was rushed to the intensive care unit of a hospital, Uwa did not survive.

    News of her death has generated outrage, with a lot of people calling for justice for Uwa:

    But Uwa’s case is not the first known case of the murder of a young woman in recent time. Just a few days ago, justice for Tina was trending on social media. According to news reports, two policemen, Theophilus Otobo and Oguntoba Olamigoke, allegedly shot the teenager, Tina Ezekwe, dead around the Berger area of the state.

    Justice For Uwa and Tina
    https://twitter.com/iefamharris/status/1266436270739374083?s=19

    The death of both women has raised an alarm especially with women in Nigeria who are constantly face discrimination and violence on a daily basis. What makes it worse is that cases like these are reported, yet, no real justice is done.

    In 2015, UNICEF reported that one out of four girls had experienced sexual violence before the age of 18.

    As at the time of reporting this case, there have been no official statements by the spokesperson for the police in Edo State. Neither has the church released any statement. We do hope that there will be justice for Uwa and justice for Tina.


    Please share this article using the hashtag #JusticeForUwa and #JusticeForTina.

  • What’s Really Happening In Southern Kaduna?

    What’s Really Happening In Southern Kaduna?

    ‘Southern Kaduna’, ‘Fulani Herdsmen’ – are currently trending. If you’ve spent any time looking through the Nigerian social media space over the past few days, you may have noticed chatter about a possible massacre currently happening in Southern Kaduna.

    https://twitter.com/AdesuaEtomiW/status/1265972189146349569

    On May 26th, Sahara Reporters revealed how a 12-year-old-boy fought off suspected herdsmen attackers in a village in Southern Kaduna.

    According to the report, the child bravely fought off attackers as they attempted to hack his father. Thankfully, father and son survived the ordeal, and are receiving care in a hospital for the grievous injuries sustained.

    Southern kaduna massacre fulani herdsmen

    Tragically however, other victims of the attack weren’t fortunate to tell the tale. The attacked child’s mother, some family members and at least three other people within the following villages of Southern Kaduna: Idazau, Etissi, Bakin Kogi, Dutsen Gora, UN Gora, Pushu Kallah and Magunguna, which Sahara Reporters states were killed by suspected Fulani herdsmen. Also affected were 78 people who were injured, 607 houses which were destroyed and 231 cows which were allegedly stolen.

    southern kaduna fulani herdsmen

    While these are truly horrific and unacceptable circumstances to experience, especially in the midst of a global pandemic, very little is to be found on the Southern Kaduna attacks in the Nigerian mainstream press. Noting the lapse, Nigerians on social media, particularly Twitter have taken up digital arms, to fire the alarm on the happenings.

    The Nigerian government is yet to put out a statement, deploy security forces or in any way tangentially address the situation in Kaduna State. We wait to see how their reaction can save lives in the state and we can only pray that our combined voices can make a difference in bringing attention to the plight of those within the region.


    Please share, comment and lend a voice to the ongoing conversation.

  • John Boyega Really Hates Racists, And That’s That On That!

    John Boyega Really Hates Racists, And That’s That On That!

    So far, every month in 2020 has given us its version of an uppercut to the jugular. We’ve lost Kobe and Gigi, a global pandemic broke out, we’ve had to stay isolated, murder hornets came back (then left?) and for May’s champion – repeated vile and racist attacks against black people in the US. John Boyega is 100% against these attacks and he’s letting everyone and their racist grandma, know so.

    john boyega racist tweet george floyd

    Three deaths too many — the month of May saw the killing (amongst many not brought to mass awareness) of Breonna Taylor, Ahmad Aubery and George Floyd, whose tragic, inhumane and downright unforgivable murder was captured on tape.

    john boyega racist tweet george floyd

    The Star Wars actor, fed up with the incessant killings of blacks in the hands of racist white people, let his feelings be known in a tweet that has now been liked by over a million people.

    https://twitter.com/JohnBoyega/status/1265548180256698370

    Now you would think no possible argument could be made against an obviously black man, calling out the repeated murder and ill-treatment of black people in the hands of racist whites, but it’s a weird world and we’re stuck living in it, pandemic and all.

    Thankfully, the black man blood John Boyega is chock full of, refused to be deterred by the many people who insisted that he qualify his statement for who  the hell knows what reasons. In a delightful tirade that pleased the petty queen within me, Boyega took his time to respond to trolls who thought anything other than the needless, mind-boggling murder of people based solely on the colour of their skin, should be the focus of everyone’s anger.

    https://twitter.com/JohnBoyega/status/1265701960134602752

    And for the people at the back who may have missed it on Twitter, John Boyega also took to Instagram, in a live session to let his feelings about racists, racist killings and needless hate be known.

    https://twitter.com/sansdn/status/1265711524561084418

    What’s even better? His mom, just like the good people of Zikoko and any one with half a thinking brain, is absolutely proud of the super star actor for taking a bold and needed stand against disgusting colour-based violence. 

    https://twitter.com/JohnBoyega/status/1265700071708000256

    And anyone who doesn’t like that? May the force neglect your sorry ass.

  • Bangladesh Just Might Be Lagos In A Sari: Kay’s Abroad Life

    Bangladesh Just Might Be Lagos In A Sari: Kay’s Abroad Life

    The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.


    In January 2020, Kay — awesome writer over at TechCabal, (Zikoko’s sister publication) spent a month in South Asia, touring the borders between Bangladesh and India.

    In preparing for this interview, I spent an inordinate amount of time getting lost in Bangladeshi cuisine, using maybe all of 3 minutes to learn about everything else (JK. Do not try this in your Zoom interviews at home kids).

    Kay shares her experience as a woman traveler and tells us all the ways Bangladesh is indeed, Lagos’ long lost South Asian cousin.

    For my first question,  I’m going to sound like a raging Nigerian politician, because I’m only focusing on my stomach. But, I got into a Morog Palao rabbit hole when I was em.. researching for our interview, and my life hasn’t been the same since. What is the Bangladeshi food culture like?

    So this is interesting. If you walk into a Bangladeshi restaurant, it’s going to be a little rare to see anyone eating alone. They’re very communal about meal times.

    As someone who is currently leaning towards the ‘chop alone, live forever’ movement, this is interesting. Please go on.

    So while I was there, I always noticed they had some type of buffet going on. If you’re ordering food, they wouldn’t bring you like a plate of rice and stew to eat. Nope.

    They’d bring a large bowl that has rice, lots of rice… for everyone to share. Then, that would come with all these other things, for you to serve yourself with. Oh, and you eat everything with your hands there.

    Nigerian boarding school students will read about this serve yourself meal system, and wonder how anybody can be so reckless!

    And tea! They take a lot of tea. It’s called ‘cha’. They take it morning, noon, night. Whenever, wherever. It’s also a welcoming treat, if you’re visiting a home, they’d serve you tea. That kind of thing.

    Besides water, it’s the second most consumed liquid in Bangladesh, and they serve it everywhere!

    The same way you’d see puff-puff sellers on the streets of Lagos, is the same way you’d see people selling tea in Dhaka (The Bangladesh city capital). Also, they take a lot of sweet things.

    Sold! My sweet tooth and I will be on the first plane to Bangladesh when this whole virus situation is done with. Which way to the visa office and can I pay in cash?

    Haha. Well, in addition to sweet things, there’s a lot of bread and spicy sauce in their diet – cinnamons, curries and what not. But you’ll eat bread and rice die!

    I got tired of that. There’s also a wide variety of fruit. There are cherries, pomegranates. Just so many options. Now about that visa…

    *Whips out notepad plus anointing oil to pray for the end of the virus*

    Well, for the visa, I didn’t handle any of that. I’m part of an art organisation – Invisible Borders Trans-African Photography Organisation and we were invited for a project in Bangladesh, examining its borders with India. 

    Ah, I see. My next question was going to be how you decided on Bangladesh

    Yeah. So with the organisation, I wasn’t really involved in the visa process. That was handled by the project manager, but I do know he had to go to Abuja to handle all of that.

    *Adds travel to Abuja sometime in 2020 for Bangladesh visa inquiries to reminder*

    So when you touched down in Bangladesh, what was the most overwhelming feeling? What’s an unmissable first impression you get at the airport?

    You know what? I’d have to say it feels like you just landed at an extended wing of the Murtala Muhammed Airport in Lagos. It feels like you just landed in Lagos.

    *Burns notepad* *Cancels reminder* *Forgets Bangladesh travel plans *

    Wow. Girl I am so sorry! I am so sorry you got played! How did you go around the world, only to wind up in a place just like the one you left?

    It’s funny because when I first landed at the Shahjalal International Airport, I noticed how similar the arrangements were. The way you queue, the maneuvering, people using tape to tag their luggage. It was so similar, it was actually fascinating.

    That same disorderliness in Lagos is there. There was a huge crowd when we got to the airport.

    This japa problem is everywhere sha

    Ha! We spent a few hours at the airport. Some of it was just delays you’d expect, the rest was racial profiling. Myself, my travel companions, some Ugandans and another man from an African country, got pulled out of the queue to get our visas and passports confirmed. So that happened.

    Really? Bangladesh too wants to form? Okay sha…

    Oh and one interesting thing before I go back to the similarities. If you’re black in Bangladesh, you will get a lot of stares. A lot.

    It’s kind of like how in earlier years, white people in Nigeria would get a lot of attention, regardless of who they were? Here, we got people that stared us down all the time. We were actual spectacles. It was the most interesting thing.

    This your trip was a trip, no lies

    So the similarities again. The traffic! Lord. There were constant standstills, trying to maneuver your car. That same Lagos craziness? It was all there.

    Have I said how sorry I am you jammed Lagos part 2 in this trip? Because???

    What made it even more hilarious was that they have all sorts of transport contraptions in Bangladesh. So you’re dragging the road with regular cars, buses, bicycles, motorbikes, kekes. Then you have rickshaws. When I went sightseeing in Old Dhaka, I literally saw a horse chariot.

    There is no way you saw a horse chariot in 2020, Kay. No way. We will fight over this phone.

    See now…

    Yeah, I have to go to Bangladesh now!

    But beyond the airport and the traffic and the craziness. It’s just the constant hustle and bustle and crowds similar to Lagos. You get that whole vibe complete in Bangladesh.

    I hear that. So now I’m intrigued about the people of Bangladesh and if they’re operating on the same wavelength as my fellow crazies in Lagos. What were your immediate impressions of the Bangladeshi people?

    Hmm. So once you get past all the staring and being the object of the day, you’d notice that the Bangladesh people are incredibly warm. The strangers go out of their way to help. Easy example, while we were travelling from one stop to another, some of us needed to use the restroom.

    Mind you, we were a team of four from the organisation (3 Nigerians and 1 Belgian). The project also had 4 Bangladeshi photographers. Usually, we’d find a gas station to pee, but there wasn’t one available for the next mile. Our companions said they’d stop at any house and ask if it was possible to use the rest room. I laughed and thought they were joking.

    True true, we parked at a random house. They spoke to an elderly lady who agreed to have us use her restroom. It was the most welcoming thing ever.

    Fruits in the countryside

    The Nigerian in me is stuck on all the ways things could have gone wrong for the old lady, but that’s an incredibly sweet story. Great to know some kindness still remains in the world. And their dressing? How’s the Bangladeshi drip?

    Well, when it comes to dressing, there’s a lot of traditional garb. Especially when you start moving away from the capital Dhaka, to the countryside. People wear these traditional outfits called Kameez, a kaftan with trousers that reach your ankles. They wear a lot of saris too. There was an art summit we participated in, guests were constantly trooping in in their saris. So there’s a lot of traditional wear in Bangladesh.

    Got it. Now I know Bangladesh is very traditional and there isn’t a strong female presence in its affairs, what did you notice about gender representation during your trip?

    So there was this Zikoko article about a housewife that kind of reflects the position I noticed a lot of Bangladesh women are in. In some parts of Dhaka, and the further away you go from it towards the countryside, you’ll notice that there are rarely women on the road. My Bangladeshi colleague told me it was because women are usually left to cater to the home. The women are expected to shelf their dreams and take care of their families most of the time.

    Oh wow

    But, I’ll say things are changing. I had two Bangladeshi women with me, photographers. Eery where we went, people would ask ‘where are you from?’ Like how did your husband/father let you out? That kind of thing.

    But they’re breaking the status quo. The prime minister is a woman, the leader of the opposition party is a woman. There’s still a big-gender imbalance, but it’s changing.

    Oh wait, this brings me to another similarity with Lagos.

    A parrot at a tea resort

    Let’s hear it!

    Politics! The usual ruckus of violence during election campaigns. We were in Bangladesh until the first of February, and before that time, they held Mayoral elections, our equivalent of a governorship election. It was the Nigerian blueprint.

    There was a riot after elections, the opposition party accused the leading party of rigging, people stoning voters. That kind of chaos

    Oh Lord. When will this end? Embarrassing political antics to the side however, there is one ultimate way to know if Bangladesh really is like Lagos.

    And what’s that?

    The nightlife. How does Bangladesh throw it down?

    Well first off, they do not drink alcohol over there, it’s prohibited and you’d have to …

    F9! It is not like Lagos, let’s wrap it up!

    Haha. But yeah, you need a special pass to purchase or drink alcohol. In my experience, the Bangladesh favour mostly hangouts and house parties. Just small clusters of friends, that kind of thing. But I’d say I didn’t stay long enough to really figure out their social scene.

    Tut tut.

    But thinking about it, I have another question about women experiences in Bangladesh. How was your experience as a female traveller?

    So there was something I noticed when we were doing our border rounds. We were usually paired with a Bangladeshi team mate who could speak Bengali, so they’d act as interpreter while doing their own work. I realised people were always asking the translator if I was married. Marriage and family are big deals for them.

    Ah yes, the Nigerian similarity pops out again

    But in terms of security, I felt relatively safe because we had male companions, so there wasn’t a lot of interference. But from what I have heard and seen in the news, the universal female experience applies. Don’t walk alone at night, be constantly wary, that kind of thing. It’s the same there.

    Sigh. Just existing as a woman is exhausting.

    Would you return to Bangladesh though?

    It is exhausting. But yes, I would return to Bangladesh given the opportunity. I’d find a way to get over the tiredness of eating bread and rice all the time. But it’s a great place to visit, absolutely.

    Last question has to be the most mundane thing that happened and the most riveting thing that happened to you on this trip

    Well, haha. I have to talk about this. So I had a wig on, and a lady stopped me to ask if it was my hair. I told her no, it wasn’t and she got so upset. ‘Why would I be wearing someone else’s hair?’ She couldn’t understand it. That was interesting.

    Ah! Wait till she finds out braids aren’t actually our hair

    Then the most riveting thing definitely has to be getting our photographs taken everywhere. I have no idea what Facebook groups why pictures ended up in or really why they were so fascinated by us, since a lot of Nigerians actually school in Bangladesh. But it was definitely an interesting experience.

    Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 9 A.M. (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.

  • Governor Wike, What’s Happening In Rivers State?

    Governor Wike, What’s Happening In Rivers State?

    Have you ever been so scared for someone’s conscience, intercessory prayer starts hungrying you?

    Since May 7th, my recurring prayer point and the universal leader Governor of Rivers State – Nyesom Wike has seized and auctioned off over 20 civilian cars, convicted over 170 people and demolished 2 hotel buildings in his state. These were carried out in furtherance of the strict statewide coronavirus lockdown imposed in Rivers State. Never mind that many rely on daily trade to survive, and inadequate provisions were made for the extended lockdown period.

    While we are no closer to understanding why Governor Wike is working so hard to snatch the Villain of the Year 2020 award from the coronavirus, we can attempt to piece things together by examining his actions of the past week:

    The local government closures

    As one of the safety measures to be implemented for the Rivers State lockdown, Governor Wike ordered the closure of the Port Harcourt/Obior Akor local government areas of the state. These local government areas house the highest population of people and trade within the state. 

    What this means is ⁠— while the rest of the country and most of the world are attempting to re-open their economies following weeks of lockdown, the traders in the most business heavy districts of Rivers State have more days of financial insecurity ahead of them, as they largely rely on daily sales for sustenance.

    170 people convicted for breaking the lockdown restrictions

    When people are willing to brave the threat of a deadly virus (for reasons beyond haircut rights), it definitely begs the question of what could possibly scare them more. The answer? Hunger.

    Rather than empathise with a people who spent the better parts of five weeks cooped up at home, their livelihoods most likely affected by the mere mention of a further lock down, Governor Wike instead chose to arrest them.

    With the help of the Special mobile court, 170 persons were on May 7th arrested in Rivers State and convicted of the offence of breaching the mandated lockdown, they were also made to pay fines of up to ₦50,000.

    Rivers State auctioned their cars off too!

    As if staring a sure recession in the face isn’t bad enough, imagine doing so minus the convenience of your trusty car. Can you imagine having to buy a car in this economy?

    Maybe Governor Wike’s imagination isn’t working this month, because in further punishment for flouting the lockdown rules, the governor ordered that 20 cars used in transporting violators be auctioned off. He really went through with it too.

    Governor Wike demolished two hotels for violating lockdown rules

    Show me a less commensurate punishment for an offence this May and I’ll eat that nasty sushi you all pretend to like.

    For violating the lockdown restrictions barring hotels from operating without the government’s say so, Governor Wike did the very rational thing of demolishing two structures – Edemete Hotel and Prodest Hotels. In true sociopathic fashion, he made a personal appearance during their respective destructions. 

    Nigeria is currently grappling with an isolation centre shortage btw. Just wanted everyone to remember that.

    So let’s see. We have a poorly planned, very strict lockdown imposed following weeks of nationwide restrictions. Punishment meted out to Nigerians abandoned to their devices for sustenance in the midst of a pandemic. Further impoverishing citizens by taking away their vehicles and auctioning them off in the face of a could-be depression and the no-other-way-to-put-it, but manic destruction of hotel buildings, all in Rivers State.

    As it is, rather than fulfill campaign promises, Gov. Wike is working hard to make sure he remains the reason many Rivers natives are looking to the sky, muttering ‘do fast and come down’. We are now past the point of asking what’s happening in Rivers State, we need to know who’s going to stop it.

  • Abroad Life: Would You Hop On A Flight To Hong Kong?

    Abroad Life: Would You Hop On A Flight To Hong Kong?

    The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.


    For reasons best known to me (I’m bored, wistful and stir crazy, stuck at home with two sexagenarians), I have been dutifully spending a large percentage (I can’t say how large, this is a work post) of my day, researching the first few abroads I plan on living in when this whole ordeal is over.

    Would I go to Grenada? Where the beaches are surreal, the skies sublime and my chances of securing an island ting are increased by at least 200%.

    Emir sanusi dethroned

    Do I try out The UK? They gave us the English breakfast. I love their little accents when they rap tough and say ‘telly’. There’s also the gift of Adele.

    But then again, their Prime Minister initially discounted the severity of the coronavirus. Since I’m basing a lot of my future journies on countries I’d be happy to be stuck in during a pandemic, I’m going to give the EU’s now removed family member, a hard pass.

    visiting hong kong

    Which brings me to Hong Kong. Since the start of the outbreak, I’ve noted three countries that made me wistful for exemplary leadership in a time of crisis – New Zealand, South Korea and Hong Kong. Now while I’ll eventually get to New Zealand and South Korea, I must now touch on the goodness that is Hong Kong.

    Why Should You Visit Hong Kong?


    Because this is more or less a journal entry for me, this title originally said ‘Why should Boyin visit Hong Kong?’, but that’s bad for SEO or whatever my editor always hammers into my head.

    visiting hong kong

    That said, Hong Kong is great and not so great for a number of reasons. Taking advantage of Obasanjo’s internet all the way from Lagos, here are the pros and cons of life in Hong Kong, I discovered from surprisingly detailed research:

    Pros of Life in Hong Kong

    Convenient public transportation

    visiting hong kong

    For someone who lives in a state whose transport options are road, more road, and maybe the occasional ferry (if you’re brave enough for it), a country with a multi-option transport system is pretty great.

    They have subways (The MTR), a tram system that goes around the island, a ferry system that comes at a very reduced cost.
    Buses with multiple routes. Trains, minivans, coaches and taxis (Ubers too!) ,which run efficiently for a large part of the day.

    If that isn’t enough, Hong Kong is a major transit hub, you can go on tours to China, Thailand, Vietnam, Korea and Japan etc.

    The Octopus Card

    It might not have 8 tentacles, but the Octopus card’s functions are many numbered. With this card, you can not only access the entirety of Hong Kong’s transit system – buses, trains, trams, taxis etc; you can also use it to pay for groceries as well.

    Can you imagine never needing to haggle with the conductor over your ₦50 change he’s trying o commandeer? Just imagine.

    They speak a lot English!

    If you’re English speaking and you’re thinking of making the move or visiting Hong Kong, you can save yourself the stress yourself watching YouTube language videos or getting harassed by my arch nemesis, Duo the owl on DuoLingo.

    Most of Hong Kong has dual signage in both English and Cantonese. Service staff in shopping malls can also speak in English. English is almost as widely spoken as their native languages.
    However, for life in more rural areas like Kowloon or The New Territories, learning little Cantonese could be helpful.

    Hong Kong has a great outdoors scene

    visiting hong kong

    Guys, there’s greenery. They have parks (parks!) of all shapes and sizes.
    Their landscape allows for hiking and there are beaches. Accessible ones too! You probably won’t need to bribe a tout to let you and your friend in, for ₦1200 in the afternoon. Must be nice.

    Safety

    I read about Hong Kong’s great public safety from multiple sources. However, I stays woke, and you would probably do well to follow that. You can never be too careful. Mace is ace is my watchword!

    Cons of Living in Hong Kong

    Using the same argument I employ to explain why my seafood okra doesn’t slap as hard as my efo, everything can’t be good.
    This is why, for all its plus sides, living in Hong Kong can be a bit of a downer.

    Here are the cons of Living in Hong Kong.

    Hong Kong is crowded

    visiting hong kong

    Hong Kong is small with a large and growing population of around seven million. It’s bound to be crowded. If you’re really against crowds, make sure to avoid areas like Central, Mong Lol, Trim shua Tsui which are the most densely populated parts of Hong Kong.

    Work hours are crazy


    Bruh, if you’re looking to work here, all the best. The traditional 9-5 doesn’t quite cut it in Hong Kong. From what I read, the people of Hong Kong work very hard and also want to maintain the illusion of doing so. This means some workers don’t leave until their supervisors do so, while others are just downright resilient with their work. Good for them!

    Housing is so pricey sis!

    visiting hong kong

    Unless you’re living in local/rural-ish areas like Kowloon and the New Territories, rent in Hong Kong could cost you almost half of your monthly salary for a truly small space. That aint right.

    Pollution levels are too damn high

    Hong Kong’s pollution levels are some of the highest in South East Asia. Das not good. Most of the city is covered in fog brought on by emissions from industrial plans, marine traffic and vehicles.

    How do I get a Visa to Hong Kong?

    You get a visa to China, which we’ve spoken about here and here with people who shared their individual experiences.

    Now we’ve examined the pros and cons of life in Hong Kong, but a major thing to look out for, like I mentioned early in this post, is what makes it a great place to weather out a global pandemic, like the one currently refusing to let go of our necks, (almost literally).

    Gotten from this great post on Twitter, here’s a quick summary of the Hong Kong Coronavirus efforts for travellers coming into the country:

    All passengers into the country the country must carry out a self-test at the airport. This is after filling out a health declaration form, downloading an app and being fixed with a tracking bracelet and thermometer to name a few. This process, carried out within the airport will take about 8 hours.

    All entrants into the country must go through a mandatory 14-day quarantine, where before their entry into the building they live in or are simply visiting, they must be sanitised and disinfected; together with their luggage. The app and bracelet track movement within that time and most efforts to outsmart either option usually fail.

    So there you have it, tourist destination, global pandemic wrangler and all round neat place to live. Would you visit Hong Kong?

    Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 9 A.M. (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.

  • Is Professor Ibrahim Gambari The New Chief Of Staff? Here’s What We Know.

    Is Professor Ibrahim Gambari The New Chief Of Staff? Here’s What We Know.

    Unofficial reports claim that Professor Ibrahim Gambari has been appointed as the new chief of staff in Nigeria to replace the recently deceased Abba Kyari.

    Although the appointment has not been officially announced by the president or his office, congratulatory messages are already pouring in for the retired diplomat. Even though word on the streets says he is still waiting for an official letter of confirmation, his cousin the Emir of Illorin already released a statement thanking President Muhammadu Buhari “for appointing Professor Ibrahim Gambari as his new chief of Staff” and describing the appointment as a “great honour to the entire people of Ilorin Emirate and Kwarans at large.”

    zikoko- Ibrahim Gambari

    Here’s what we know about Professor Ibrahim Gambari:

    • He is from Kwara state. He was born to a Fulani ruling class family. His nephew Ibrahim Sulu Gambari is the Emir of Illorin
    • He was born on 24th, November 1944 that makes him 76 by his birthday this year.
    • He served as the Minister of External Affairs in Nigeria between 1984 and 1985.
    • He became the chairperson of the African Union Commission as Joint African Union-United Nations Special Representative for Darfur in January 2010.
    • He was appointed Chancellor of the Kwara State University in 2013 making him the first Chancellor of the university.
    • He also the founder/chairman of Savannah Center External link in Abuja, a think-tank for research, training, and public policy debate on the link between diplomacy (conflict resolution), democracy, and development in Africa.
    • He served as the Minister for External Affairs between 1984 and 1985 under General Muhammadu Buhari’s military regime.
    • He is also the longest-serving Nigerian Ambassador to the United Nations, serving from 1990 to 1999 under five Heads of State and Presidents.

    Mallam Abba Kyari was the Chief of Staff to President Buhari before his demise announced on April 17 shortly after testing positive to Covid-19.

  • Covid-19: All We Know About Madagascar’s Herbal Cure & Nigeria’s Decision To Import

    Covid-19: All We Know About Madagascar’s Herbal Cure & Nigeria’s Decision To Import

    Madagascar’s herbal cure for Covid-19 has been in the news recently.

    Madagascar's herbal cure

    What is it?

    Madagascar’s herbal cure, also known as COVID-organics is a drink invented by the Malagasy Institute of Applied Research. It contains Artemisia, a plant on used in the fight against malaria. The president of Madagascar, President Andry Rajoelina claims that this drink cures and prevents Covid-19.

    What is the World Heath Organisation saying?

    WHO has advised that people do not use untested remedies for Covid-19. It has also called for clinical trials. It said only products shown to be effective through scientific study would be endorsed by them. The Economic Community of West African States, ECOWAS has also dissociated itself from the medicine.

    In spite of the criticism, the president of Madagascar insists that COVID-organics could prevent and cure patients infected with the virus. He believes that WHO’s criticism speaks to how they look at Africa.

    How does this affect Nigerians?

    Madagascar's herbal cure

    On Monday, during the daily Presidential Task Force on Covid-19 briefing, it was disclosed that Nigeria was going to fly in Madagascar’s herbal cure.

    According to Secretary General of the Federation, Boss Mustapha, President Buhari has given strict orders that the COVID-Organics consignment be subjected to necessary standard validation processes for medicines.

    Nigeria is not alone in showing interest in COVID-Organics. Several other African countries like Tanzania, Guinea-Bissau, and the Republic of Congo have ordered COVID-Organics from Madagascar.

    How have Nigerians reacted?

    The Pharmaceutical Society of Nigeria criticised this decision to import Madagascar’s Herbal Cure, saying that it is distasteful for a country that should be the leader of Africa to go this low.

    Some Nigerians are questioning the need to wait for a vaccine from overseas.

    Trust that some Nigerians will turn it into a joke.

    Whatever the case, we do hope that the federal government knows what it’s doing. Visit Coronafacts Africa for more insights on the number of cases rising from Africa as a whole and from different countries in the continent.