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The Chinese government has set up “overseas police stations” all over the world to keep track of its citizens, as reported by THISDAY on October 17, 2022.
President Xi Jinping of China [Image source: Johannes Eisele/AFP/Getty Images]
The Chinese Communist Party calls them, “110 Overseas Police Service Centres” to crack down on all kinds of illegal and criminal activities involving Chinese in the diaspora. These stations are run in various parts of Africa, Europe, and America, according to a report by Safeguard Defenders.
In Nigeria, the Fuzhou-Run overseas police “Service Station” is reported to be located in Benin City, Edo State.
How does the station work?
Well, the Chinese are setting up the centers in a bid to combat fraud committed by citizens abroad. Chinese authorities have claimed that from April 2021 to July 2022, 230,000 nationals were “persuaded” to return to China to face criminal proceedings. The “persuasion” happened through harassment and intimidation methods, such as threatening the family members of overseas citizens, according to the report.
According to Safeguard Defenders, “These operations eschew official bilateral police and judicial cooperation and violate the international rule of law, and may violate the territorial integrity of third countries involved in setting up a parallel policing mechanism using illegal methods.”
What will Nigeria do?
The Nigerian government hasn’t reacted to the report yet, but everyone is curious about the next line of action. Will we shut down illegal Chinese operations or allow them to continue the fight against corruption? Are we strong enough to stand up to a country we’re owing over $3.48 billion?
On October 14, 2022, a German-based Welthungerhilfe and Dublin-based Concern Worldwide published the Global Hunger Index 2022 report which exposed an open secret about hunger levels in Nigeria.
The index has five levels of hunger — low, moderate, serious, alarming, and extremely alarming. Nigeria ranked 103 out of 121 countries with a score of 27.3 which signifies “serious” hunger levels. Last year, Nigeria held the same position and finished in the 98th position in 2020.
While “serious” may seem manageable because it’s an average score, we don’t need to get to an “extremely alarming” level before we realise there’s fire on the mountain and we should be running. Or doing something about it.
What’s responsible for Nigeria’s hunger crisis?
Why exactly is there a major hunger crisis in Nigeria? There’s a long list:
Floods
With the current flood situation happening in key food-producing states like Benue and Kogi, farmlands have been totally destroyed. A disruption in food production inevitably leads to scarcity and a severe hunger crisis. Experts have pegged the food inflation at 23.34% and they don’t see it slowing down anytime soon with the damage caused by the floods.
Image Source: AP
Insecurity
The activities of armed bandits, terrorists, and militants have affected food production and caused food inflation, and an increased reliance on imports. For safety reasons, many farmers have abandoned their farmlands, fled their communities, relocated to urban areas, or taken shelter in Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camps. And when the farmers are not around to farm, how would there be food?
COVID-19
Even though the severity of the pandemic has reduced greatly, it’s needless to say that it caused way more damage than expected. Due to the lack of revenue coming into the country as a result of the lockdown, Nigeria had to borrow as usual.
The country also slipped into its second recession in four years and food security took a hit we haven’t recovered from.
The Russian-Ukraine War
Nigeria relies heavily on imports of major staple foods such as rice and wheat, but trade has been disrupted by the Russian-Ukraine war that started in February. With the two countries being major exporters of agricultural produce for Nigeria, food prices have increased to unimaginable highs. It also doesn’t help that enough local food isn’t produced.
How can we escape the crisis?
Now that you know the causes, what can be our solution to the hunger crisis? Ending terrorism, responding well to the flooding crisis, and praying for the end of the Russian-Ukraine war are obvious answers, but those won’t happen immediately. So instead, here are some solutions that seem much simpler:
Cultivate the habit of buying food materials in bulk
When you buy food items in bulk, you’re almost always saving money. Plus, the more food you have, the lesser the need to buy more. It’s that simple.
Please, let’s slow down on imported foods
Food grown in Nigeria will always be cheaper than food imported elsewhere. Let that Basmati rice rest for once.
Avoid food wastage
It only goes without saying that we should exercise discipline in eating the foods we consume. For instance, don’t finish one bag of rice in a day. You never know if it’s going to be the same price as when you bought it.
Millions of Nigerians are going through it, as a flooding crisis washes through most of the country. More than 600 people have died and over a million people displaced since the beginning of 2022.
[Image source: BBC]
The coverage of the flood has focused on the immediate impacts including the unfortunate loss of lives and the destruction of property. According to the Federal Government, the floods have fully or partially destroyed over 200,000 houses. But more than the immediate impacts of loss and displacement, floods have social, economic and environmental consequences that outlast them. So, here’s a look at the long-term worries that come as a package deal with these floods.
Food scarcity and inflation
Nigeria’s 2022 flooding crisis has caused the partial or total destruction of 440,719 hectares of farmland across the country. The disaster has visited key agricultural production areas like Benue State. The effect of flooding in these areas will almost certainly impact food production and lead to a shortage. When that happens, inflation is never far behind. Unfortunately, Nigerians already suffer enough from food inflation.
Gas issues
[Image source: NLNG]
Nigeria’s flooding crisis is also going to have a long-term effect on the supply and prices of gas. The floods have forced the shutdown of gas production in affected areas.
The Nigeria Liquefied and Natural Gas (NLNG), the company responsible for Nigeria’s gas exports has already declared a force majeure which is contractual jargon for, “This thing don pass us. Anything you see, take it like that.”
Nigeria was already facing a gas supply crisis due to oil theft, and now the disruption caused by the floods will make it even more difficult to earn our daily $2k in the global market.
The spread of diseases
Floods create the perfect environment for water-borne diseases like cholera, diarrhoea and typhoid to spread. This is another post-crisis issue that can trouble Nigeria’s already fragile health sector.
Humanitarian crises
[Image source: IOM]
The 2022 floods have already displaced over 1.3 million people from their homes. These people are currently homeless and are now at the mercy of loved ones, kind strangers or the people who hide palliatives.
Many Nigerians who are residents of internally displaced persons (IDP) camps are already complaining of neglect. Depending on the level of the devastation suffered, it’ll take a long time for many of these Nigerians to get back on their feet.
Unemployment
More than losing homes, some Nigerians are losing their businesses to the floods. Some of these businesses will take a minute to resume operations after the water recedes, while some may never even reopen. It’s not the best situation for a country already dealing with record levels of unemployment.
Environmental damage
[Image source: BBC]
Flooding can contaminate clean water bodies, and damage roads and other critical infrastructures like electricity poles and transformers that’ll take the Nigerian government ages — and inflated contracts — to repair.
Disruption of education
Education is one of Nigeria’s important sectors that critically needs a boost. But flooding further complicates the sector’s progress. Many state governments in Nigeria regularly use schools as temporary shelters in emergencies like floods, which further disrupts students’ education.
Trauma
Flooding is a traumatic event. Some of the millions of Nigerians affected by the floods are bound to feel the weight of the devastating losses suffered in the blink of an eye. It’s important that the government provides social support to victims of floods.
On Monday, October 17, 2022, the presidential candidate of the Labour Party (LP), Peter Obi, along with his running mate, Datti-Baba Ahmed, visited the controversial Islamic cleric, Sheikh Gumi, in Kaduna State.
Obi and Gumi had a private meeting to discuss his plans for Nigeria. The candidate later shared photos of the visit on Twitter, setting off a wave of mixed reactions among his supporters and critics.
Baba-Ahmed, Obi and Gumi [Image Source: Twitter]
To understand the reason for the online commotion, we first need to understand why Sheikh Gumi is such a controversial figure.
Who is Sheikh Gumi?
Ahmad Abubakar Gumi is an Islamic cleric, scholar and former military officer born on the same day Nigeria gained independence on October 1, 1960.
He studied at the Ahmadu Bello University before enlisting in the Nigerian Defence Academy (NDA). He served in the Nigerian Army Medical Corp (NAMC) as a medical officer before he retired as a captain and moved to Saudi Arabia to advance his Islamic education.
Gumi is the son of Sheikh Abubakar Gumi. A former leader of the Izalatul Bidi’a wa Ikamatul Sunnah (Izala), a radical Muslim sect that has been linked with inciting religious riots in Nigeria’s northern region.
Why is Gumi so controversial?
In February 2010, the Saudi Arabian government arrested Gumi and detained him for more than six months over alleged ties with Farouk Abdulmutallab, a Nigerian known as the Underwear Bomber who tried to blow up a commercial plane in the United States. Gumi regained his freedom after the Nigerian government intervened on his behalf.
Farouk Abdulmutallab [Image source: Guardian UK]
Gumi is a huge supporter of Nigeria’s controversial Minister of Communications and Digital Economy, Isa Pantami, who, in 2021, was exposed for championing extremist Islamic ideas and also, supporting terrorists in his past sermons.
Isa Pantami [Image source: Digital Africa]
What Gumi is perhaps most infamous for is being an advocate for bandits terrorising the northern region. He notably negotiated the release of the Greenfield University students abducted in Kaduna in 2021, after the bandits demanded a ₦100 million ransom. He also went on a media campaign to pressure the Federal Government to establish a Ministry of Nomadic Affairs to address the bandits’ grievances.
Gume also didn’t win any fans for describing kidnapping as a “lesser evil” during his campaign to whitewash the terrorists. He said: “Kidnapping children from school is a lesser evil because in the end, you can negotiate and now bandits are very careful about human lives. Before, the mission of bandits was to go into a town, ransack it and kill people.”
So why did Obi pay Gumi a visit?
Although Obi’s tweet about the visit gave no indication as to its exact purpose, Gumi himself has said they met to discuss the candidate’s plans for the country. He added that he received Obi the same way he receives other high-profile politicians who visit him. The candidate’s aide, Oseloka Obaze, tweeted that Gumi advised him not to let the movement he has started to end after the elections.
How have Obi’s supporters reacted?
The reactions to the meeting have been varied among Obi’s supporters. A supporter on Twitter said: “PO abeg Sheikh Gumi is a known ethnic bigot. No be everywhere we go stop by.”
In response to the tweet, another supporter said: “This is what we call ‘Building bridges’. Gumi is also a Nigerian. No court has convicted him. Let’s build bridges. Even APC dominated areas and difficult to reach areas will be reached. This is the Unifier. The bridge builder.”
What does everyone else think?
Critics have accused Obi’s supporters ofhypocrisy for supporting his Gumi visit. They say that Obi’s supporters called Gumi unprintable names in the past but are now aligning themselves with him because he’s popular in the northern region where Obi is yet to establish a strong presence. Other critics say Obi brought himself low with the visit.
One thing is clear though, no matter how saintly any one candidate is perceived to be, they’re ultimately in the race to win. How they do it, and if the end justifies the means, is a question only time can answer.
To his support base, Nnamdi Kanu is the saviour of the Igbo people from the clutches of the Nigerian government. To the Nigerian Government, he’s a terrorist and a threat to democracy. But for the rest of Nigeria, Nnamdi Kanu is simply the leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB), a sect prominent in championing the secession of the southeast region from Nigeria to create its own independent state called Biafra.
Image Source: Afolabi Sotunde/Reuters
Kanu’s first arrest
In October 2015, the Department of State Services (DSS) arrested Kanu in Lagos after arriving from the United Kingdom. The government later charged him to court on charges of terrorism and felony. In April 2017, the Federal High Court in Abuja granted him bail on “medical grounds”, but jumped bail months later after a Nigerian Army raid on his home, and he wasn’t seen in public for over a year.
In June 2021, the Nigerian government announced that Nnamdi Kanu was miraculously back in custody in Nigeria.
The government refused to disclose how Kanu was arrested and back in the detention of his buddies at the DSS. But he claimed he was illegally arrested in Kenya and extradited to Nigeria without due process.
From that point onwards, it’s been nothing but a seemingly unending court case, accusations of inhuman treatment and counter-accusations between Kanu and the Federal Government. Imagine being forced to wear the same outfit, without any washing, for five months.
Kanu’s imprisonment heightened unrest in the southeast, especially with a controversial sit-at-home order implemented on Mondays across the region. The curfew has been blamed for the increase in criminal activities and violence in the region.
Image Source: Daily Post Nigeria
A bittersweet release
On October 13, 2022, the Court of Appeal sitting in Abuja, the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), ruled Kanu’s arrest and extradition illegal and dropped all terrorism charges against him.
You can only imagine how Kanu must have felt as he heard the verdict.
Well, it’s due to the Federal Government, again. This time, the Attorney-General of the Federation, Abubakar Malami, declared that Kanu was only discharged but not acquitted. He added that there were other issues predating Kanu’s rendition “on the basis of which Kanu jumped bail” which remained “valid issues for judicial determination.”
In other words, the FG is pissed at Kanu’s jumping bail five years ago and wants to show him shege.
What are the people saying?
Well, we have seen a number of mixed reactions to Kanu’s release. His supporters in the southeast region are happy, as this means no more sit-at-home orders from IPOB and getting back to their normal lives.
But there are still fears of IPOB lashing out if the Federal Government detains him further. After all, the current Buhari-led government is known for disobeying court orders.
There are also fears about Kanu’s potential influence on the 2023 elections and the fate of Peter Obi, the most prominent 2023 presidential candidate from the southeast region. Nigerians are curious to see whether he’ll be Obi’s ally or foe.
Nigeria has had its fair share of interesting First Ladies — the late Maryam Babangida was a style icon who birthed the Maryam Phenomenon and the late Stella Obasanjo is still remembered for her beauty and style. And we can’t forget Patience Jonathan, the grand dame of drama whose infamous “There is God” video became Nigeria’s most viewed non-music footage ever on YouTube at the time.
All the spotlight of Nigeria’s 2023 presidential election is on the frontrunners. Still, who are the women in their lives who could soon become the next First Lady? Here’s what to know about them.
Oluremi Tinubu
Oluremi Tinubu is a senator and the wife of Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the 2023 presidential candidate of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC).
Remi was born on September 21, 1960, a few days before Nigeria’s independence. She began her educational career at Our Lady of Apostles Secondary School, Ijebu Ode and would later gain academic degrees from both Obafemi Awolowo University (then, University of Ife) and Adeyemi College of Education. She also earned a theological degree from The Redeemed Christian Bible College, and is, in fact, an ordained minister.
However, Oluremi’s real talent is in politics. She became First Lady of Lagos State when her husband was executive governor between 1999 and 2007. She won her first election as a senator, representing the Lagos Central Senatorial District, in 2011 — a position she’s held till date.
Like her husband, she has her fair share of controversies. In 2019, she was caught on video telling a voter she doesn’t trust Igbo people. Also, in 2021, she rebuked a fellow senator from her party, Smart Adeyemi, when he complained about insecurity in Nigeria. She asked him, “Are you in PDP (Peoples Democratic Party)? Are you a wolf in sheep’s clothing?”
What to expect
Remi Tinubu’s precedent suggests that she is very much fine with the status quo and unlike the current First Lady, Aisha Buhari, known for criticising the president, she is likely to stay in her lane and mind her business.
Titilayo Abubakar
If Oluremi Tinubu comes across as too “in your face”, Titilayo Abubakar is the very opposite. Born Titilayo Albert on June 6, 1949, she’s the wife of former vice-president and current PDP presidential candidate, Atiku Abubakar.
She got her early education in Lafiaji, Lagos. Her tertiary education was at Kaduna State Polytechnic where she was also a lecturer for a decade. She also holds degrees in business administration from the University of Abuja.
Titilayo married Atiku in 1971 while he was an officer of the Nigeria Customs Service (NCS). When her husband became vice-president in 1999, she notably started an advocacy to end human trafficking and girl-child prostitution. The advocacy, WOTCLEF, was inspired by her visit in the 1980s to Rome where she saw young Nigerian girls used as sex slaves. To her credit, WOTCLEF’s work contributed towards the enactment of Trafficking in Persons (Prohibition) Law Enforcement and Administration Act 2003, and the subsequent establishment of NAPTIP.
Although not as controversial as Oluremi Tinubu, Titi Abubakar was recently in the news over a trending photo of a police officer carrying her handbag at a public event. In 2017, she claimed to be a 419 victim having been defrauded the sum of ₦918 million by a pastor. The rich also cry, apparently.
What to expect
Titi Abubakar’s history suggests that she’s good news for feminist rights, and may likely champion more such causes in office. We do hope however, that she is wiser now and much more prudent with money. ₦918 million is every fraudster’s dream.
Margaret Obi
Another potential next First Lady is Margaret Obi, the wife of Peter Obi, the 2023 presidential candidate of the Labour Party (LP).
She was born on September 9, 1974, and hails from Akwa-Ibom. Margaret is a businesswoman, entrepreneur and philanthropist. She was the First Lady of Anambra State when her husband was the governor between 2006 and 2014.
Her notable achievements include the creation of family courts in Anambra’s Ministry of Women’s Affairs and Social Development, for the resolution of issues relating to child abuse and property rights for widows. She also inspired gender affirmative action during her husband’s time in office.
Not much controversy surrounds her. However, in 2017, the notoriously private Margaret had to publicly respond to rumours that she was divorcing her husband. A claim she described as the “height of wickedness”. Who can blame her eh? She had to secure the bag before wicked people pour sand in her garri.
What to expect
Like Titi, Margaret has championed causes for women and children which may translate to something bigger if her husband wins. We hope she creates a social media profile soon though. She can’t always be holding press conferences to debunk rumours when a simple tweet would suffice.
This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.
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If you’re feeling mischievous and throw a stone into a United Kingdom hospital, there are good odds it’ll land on a Nigerian-trained doctor who’ll scream, “Wetin be that?”
Seven years ago when Buhari became president, only 233 Nigerian-trained doctors moved to the UK. But that’s only 33 more than the 200 Nigerian doctors who moved to the UK in September 2022 alone.
If you had to guess how many Nigerian-trained doctors have relocated to the United Kingdom the entire year, what would your number be? According to the UK’s General Medical Council, the number of fleeing doctors between January and September is 1,307.
And there are more doctors waiting on the queue to get out of the country [Image source: Zikoko Memes]
For a country that already has a shortage of doctors in the health sector, losing even one doctor to other countries is a concern. To lose 1,307 professionals in just nine months is a tragedy. According to research by BMJ Global Health, low and middle-income countries lose $15.86 billion annually when locally-trained doctors migrate to high-income countries. The greatest total costs are incurred by India, Pakistan, South Africa and, of course, Nigeria ($3.1 billion).
The unchecked loss of highly-qualified doctors to new dispensations poses a threat to Nigeria’s already troubled health sector. Not only is it a loss of human capital with economic consequences, but can be a matter of life and death for Nigerians that need quality care.
[Image source: Zikoko Memes]
Nigerian doctors, like other Nigerians surfing the japa wave, are fleeing poor working and living conditions in pursuit of better opportunities abroad, and you have to wonder when the Nigerian government will tackle the exodus with ideas more sophisticated than just simply chaining them to hospital beds.
What else happened this week?
The 2023 presidential election is finally gaining life
The top three candidates for the 2023 presidential election finally breathed some life into their campaigns two weeks too late. On September 28, 2022, the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) officially opened the floor for candidates to start campaigning, but all three have been sluggish with kicking things off.
What changed this week?
The candidate of the Labour Party (LP), Peter Obi, announced a presidential campaign council comprising 1,234 (seriously, this number isn’t a joke) members. Former presidential spokesperson and Obi’s current ride-or-die, Doyin Okupe, is the campaign’s director-general. Okupe boasted Obi already has a minimum of 15 million votes waiting for him at the polls, as long as INEC doesn’t do anyhow.
Notably, Obi skipped the committee’s unveiling ceremony for a speaking engagement at the ICAN 52nd Annual Accountants Conference. But with how low the standards have got, you’re just thankful he wasn’t off somewhere in London secretly treating an undisclosed illness.
The candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Atiku Abubakar, officially flagged off his campaign and promised Nigerians would never again suffer from hunger and insecurity.
[Image source: Zikoko Memes]
But his campaign is still haunted by the ghost of Rivers State governor, Nyesom Wike, who predictably didn’t show up at the campaign launch, putting a question mark on Atiku’s high regard for himself as a unifier. In fact, days later, the party postponed two campaign outings in two states reportedly to give the candidate more time to patch things with Wike.
The candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Bola Tinubu, also oversaw the launch of the party’s Women Presidential Campaign Committee. He charged his campaigners to preach his gospel and politely tell people that want his party out of government to shut their dirty mouths. It’s a great way to endear yourself to undecided voters if the goal is to lose the election.
Question of the week
What should the Nigerian government be doing about the ongoing flooding crisis that it isn’t already doing?
Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.
Ehen, one more thing…
The governor of Rivers State, Nyesom Wike, appointed over 28,000 officials for political units this week. When you get over the taxpayer cost of these appointments, you have to wonder if the governor is preparing for an imminent war the rest of us don’t know about.
According to the Federal Government, the disaster has directly affected more than 2.5 million Nigerians with over 600 dead. The floods have caused untold hardship in 31 states, damaged more than 80,000 houses, and destroyed farmlands.
Zikoko Citizen interviewed three people affected by the floods in Rivers, Kogi, and Delta.
Gloria, 28 (Rivers State)
For Gloria, living with floods isn’t a strange thing. Nigeria hosts seasonal floods annually and she’s witnessed enough of those in her hometown of Omoku, Rivers State, for as long as she can remember. But, she’s never seen floods like the one that has now left her homeless.
She told Citizen, “I’ve moved from my house to three different locations just this month alone because of the floods. My business has been completely submerged by the floods and I’m living on the little money I managed to save before all of this.”
Gloria was very passionate about helping her fellow Omoku residents who have been left in worse conditions. And the situation makes her furious.
She said, “Do you know people are stuck in remote villages, and can’t come out to Omoku because of this flood? Some schools, despite the floods, are still on. Children go to school with the water at waist level in their uniforms and come back the same way. What if they lose their lives? Many people, responsible people, used to have homes but now they’re sleeping on the streets. We’re suffering bitterly!”
Gloria also has mixed feelings about the government’s response to the crisis. She told Citizen, “Well, I know that our governor (Nyesom Wike) has released ₦1 billion to help certain local government areas (including mine) with the crisis. But I can’t say for certain that the help is useful. At the Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camp, there’s no light and no mosquito net. I’ve seen the state of those camps and people are falling sick every day. They claimed to have given each camp 30 mattresses but in reality, it’s only three pieces they delivered. Many people at the camp sleep on the bare floors.”
Image Source: Madu Dab Madueke
Theophilus, 32 (Kogi State)
If anyone had told Theophilus that he would lose his family house to floods four years after it was built, he wouldn’t believe it. But that’s exactly what happened.
Theophilus received the shock of his life on September 21, when he arrived home from work to find his house completely submerged.
“I have tried so hard to comprehend with God what I’ve done wrong. I had been saving money for several years, with loans, to build this house. I completed it in 2018, and now all that is gone. My wife and kids have gone from living in a beautiful bungalow in Lokoja to being refugees in an IDP camp. The relief materials can hardly go round . My youngest child has even started developing skin rashes in reaction to the flood water. I can only say that God knows best.”
Image Source: Ibrahim Obansa/Guardian
Demola, 23 (Delta State)
Choosing to serve in Delta State for his National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) program was the worst mistake in young Demola’s life. Since September, the floods have messed up his commute to and from his primary place of assignment (PPA) in Ughelli South.
“I thought coming all the way from Lagos to Delta was going to give me the freedom I wanted from my parents but, omo, I was so wrong. Wearing semi-wet clothes is now the default. I have to trek parts of the journey in water and use a public canoe to reach the school where I serve. I can’t even complain because all the other corpers, teachers, and students are coming in and out in that fashion, so who am I?”
When asked if NYSC would allow him to go back home for safety reasons, he was unsure. “Knowing our government, they hardly ever do anything, but I’m hoping they tell corpers to go home. We don’t deserve to be put under this inhuman treatment in the name of serving this country.”
With Nigeria’s campaign season hitting top gear, we’re seeing the leading candidates, Atiku Abubakar of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and Bola Ahmed Tinubu (BAT) of the All Progressives Congress (APC), beginning to feel the heat, providing entertainment that is unmatched in both hilarity and cringe value.
Our story begins in Kaduna, where on Saturday, October 14, 2022, Atiku met with the Arewa Joint Committee. The meeting was billed as an interactive session ahead of the 2023 presidential election. Donning his customary full-flowing agbada and what looked like sneakers (perhaps to appeal to his youth base), Atiku took the mic to answer a question posed by the spokesman of the Northern Elders Forum, NEF, Hakeem Baba-Ahmed. The question itself was innocent enough, but Atiku’s response set off a tsunami of reactions online, revisiting old worries about tribalism and dog-whistling in Nigerian politics.
Atiku’s “emi lokan” moment
Baba-Ahmed asked Atiku why the North should support his candidacy. The candidate began by talking about how he had “traversed the whole of this country and built bridges”. However, in the words that followed, Atiku stepped on a landmine, or what one political commentator called his “emi lokan moment”.
The former vice-president said, “I think what the average northerner needs is someone who is from the North, and who also understands the other parts of Nigeria, and who has been able to build bridges across the rest of the country. This is what the northerner needs. He doesn’t need a Yoruba candidate, or an Igbo candidate. This is what the northerner needs.”
Given that Atiku is the most experienced candidate by virtue of being a serial contender, it smacks of sheer disbelief that he would make that statement in full glare of the cameras. The self-styled “unifier” for whom his supporters describe themselves as “Atikulate”, clearly didn’t win plaudits from the South with that comment, in what can at best be spinned as a “misarticulation”, and at worst, succumbing to the demands of what has been a flailing campaign.
The audacity of the BAT
What Atiku can do, the BAT can do better (or worse). Still in Kaduna, a place that apparently encourages loose lips, Tinubu updated his thriving catalogue of controversies with another hit.
Tinubu was speaking at the 7th edition of the Kaduna Economic and Investment Summit. Not to be outdone by Atiku, he said, “I’m begging Nasiru El-Rufai not to run away for (an) additional degree. Your vision, creativity and resiliency in turning a rotten situation into a bad one is necessary at this critical time.”
Following online taunts over the gaffe, Tinubu’s campaign team issued a statement describing the comment as a “slip of tongue”. That hasn’t quelled things though. Some critics are doubling down that it reveals the true sentiments that BAT has about El-Rufai. For others, it reignites fears that BAT suffers from dementia.
Because Tinubu rarely appears publicly to discuss his plans for Nigerians, the few times he does are always subjected to scrutiny and there is almost always a soundbite that generates wild reactions online — take your pick from anywhere between “emi lokan” and cassava and agbado. If he wasn’t running for president, BAT certainly has enough material to be a skitmaker.
A presidential election of slips
As we approach the elections, there will be no shortage of slips and gaffes from your faves. Today, it’s Atiku and BAT, but it could also be Peter Obi, Rabiu Kwankwaso or Omoyele Sowore tomorrow. Whatever the case, we’ll continue to bring you the latest happenings in Nigeria’s political terrain. It’s going to be a long four months before the 2023 presidential election.
There are certain traits voters look out for in a potential president: a strong vision for the future, the ability to get things done, some swag, and effective communication skills.
On top of all that, it’s also crucial that a potential president isn’t so much of an introvert to the point of shying away from engaging the people whose votes he needs to get into office.
Nigerians already have experience with shy presidents who don’t engage enough with the public — one of them is still sitting in Aso Rock Villa communicating with press statements and pre-recorded video broadcasts.
To avoid history repeating itself, Nigerians must start to question the dodging pattern of the All Progressives Congress (APC) candidate, Bola Tinubu.
Here’s a quick rundown of his public engagement record since he won his party’s ticket.
NBA conference
The annual conference of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA) was the first public gathering of presidential candidates after political parties concluded their primary elections in June.
The NBA offered its platform to six candidates, including Tinubu, to address Nigerians on their big plans. Everyone showed up, except Tinubu who sent his running mate, Kashim Shettima, to represent him. Shettima himself raised some eyebrows for showing up like this:
Shettima further goofed by implying he would be in charge of the armed forces as the vice president. Tinubu’s failure to attend the conference predictably caused some backlash and possibly even made it more likely he’ll miss future public gatherings with his opponents.
Peace Accord
The National Peace Committee (NPC) invited all the presidential candidates to sign a peace accord in Abuja on September 29th, 2022. As you can already guess, Tinubu failed to show up there. He sent his running mate one more time to represent him. Shettima’s fashion didn’t ruffle any feathers this time around.
Tinubu missed the signing because he was away in the United Kingdom “resting”. This rest period stretched into two weeks and prompted rumours that he was sick and receiving medical treatment.
To keep everyone’s mouth shut, he released a short video of himself riding a gym bicycle:
Many have said I have died; others claim I have withdrawn from the presidential campaign.
After his gym bicycle stunt met widespread mockery online, Tinubu made what we imagine he considers a triumphant return to the country, fully energised to start his campaign.
He thinks he’s James Bond
When he launched the APC’s Women Presidential Campaign Council in Abuja, he said whoever’s demanding a change of party at the national level should keep their dirty mouths shut.
Finally, the presidential candidate was well and truly ready to kick things off and engage with Nigerians, right?
ICAN conference
On October 12th, 2022, presidential candidates appeared at the 52nd Annual Accountants’ Conference of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) in their third public gathering since August. Guess who didn’t show up again? Bola Ahmed Tinubu.
He didn’t even send Shettima to represent him this time. A moderator of the event mentioned that Tinubu’s team promised he’d be at the event before it ended, but he never showed up.
What’s Bola Tinibu hiding?
Out of three high-profile public engagements Tinubu has been invited to share his plans with Nigerians, he’s not shown up once. He’s also the only one of the three yet to sit down for a TV interview, whether live or pre-recorded. And he also doesn’t have a campaign manifesto for a comprehensive discussion of his plans.
Tinubu’s pattern of behaviour has raised concerns that he also won’t turn up for the presidential debate when it’s time for that. We’d hate to speculate the reasons for his dodgy behaviour but it should worry voters.
Tinubu’s claim to Nigeria’s Iron Throne is that it’s his turn to become president but every time he gets a chance to make his point, he turns up missing. It’s up to Nigerians to decide in 2023 if they want to reward that kind of behaviour.
Exactly eight months after going on strike, the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) called it off on October 14th, 2022. As usual, the strike revolved around age-old issues of salary structure and payment, earned academic allowances, university funding, autonomy and academic freedom.
Now that the strike is over, what did it cost everyone involved?
Winners
Federal Government
On previous occasions, ASUU usually holds all the cards until it beats the government into an agreement. And this time, the government’s questionable handling of the strike in the initial days contributed to escalating for eight months. But the government managed to come out on top by dragging the union to court to force the suspension of the strike.
CONUA and NAMDA
CONUA and the government made an “enemy of my enemy is my friend” agreement
Before ASUU started strike action in February 2022, it was the only recognised university union in Nigeria. But as the strike dragged on, the government certified two new bodies, the Congress of Nigerian University Academics (CONUA) and the National Association of Medical and Dental Academics (NAMDA) as additional university unions. Critics believe that the certification of these unions is an attempt by the government to weaken the influence of ASUU in Nigerian universities — CONUA, especially, as it’s led by former ASUU members who broke away from the union in 2018 and had been battling for legal status since then. The 2022 strike provided the perfect opportunity for the union to finally get its day in the sun.
Landlords
The ASUU strike disrupted the economic activities of universities and put businesses around them in a financial bind. But landlords don’t have such a headache and can lick their lips in anticipation of students returning to pay more rent despite not being around for the past eight months.
Losers
ASUU
ASUU went on strike to force the government to fulfil promises that have been hanging since 2009. But the union failed to get its way eight months later. Suspending the strike wasn’t exactly ASUU’s decision. Rather, it’s in unavoidable obedience to a court judgement. They can’t be considered winners when the key issues they’ve been fighting for remain unresolved.
Even worse, it’s still unclear if the government will pay their salaries for the eight-month period of the strike.
Dr Taiwo Ojapinwa, a lecturer in the Department of Economics of the University of Lagos (UNILAG), told Zikoko, “On resumption, lecturers will have to go the extra mile to cover a lot of lost ground. Some lecturers that are supposed to have been promoted will be delayed by almost a year and some retired in the course of the strike.”
University students
By default, students are always the biggest casualties every time ASUU strikes. They lose time in the classrooms, lose academic momentum, stay home and worry about how long the strike will last, lose the money paid on rent and ultimately have their future stalled. These are the kinds of issues impacting the quality of education in Nigeria.
Prospective students also can’t get into universities because admission processes are stalled and academic calendars turn into a mess.
Is this the end of ASUU strikes?
The only meaningful victory of an ASUU strike is if the result is that another one will never happen. But there are so many unresolved issues from the 2022 strike that the next one is an issue of when not if.
Both ASUU and the Federal Government need to get their acts together and stop sacrificing the future of young Nigerians.
The Nigerian experience is not just what happens within our borders. It’s beyond the physical. Sometimes, it’s emotional and international too. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore the experiences of Nigerians living abroad.
The subject of this episode of Abroad Life is a 24-year-old Nigerian who, on paper, left Nigeria to do her Master’s in the Netherlands. But the real reason she left was to meet her boyfriend. She talks about the stress of dealing with immigration, settling into school, and her current state of homelessness.
Where are you right now?
I’m in a city called Arnhem in the Netherlands.
Why did you decide to move to the Netherlands?
Please don’t judge me, but I actually moved because my boyfriend moved here. He’s a tech bro, and about 11 months ago, a company in the Netherlands reached out to him to apply for a job. He got the job, they sponsored his move to the Netherlands, and that was it.
I had only two choices: break up with him or follow him. I decided I would move to the Netherlands to be with him.
God, when? What was the process of moving like?
He’d moved to the Netherlands because he got a job, but I needed a reason to move, so I decided I would do my Master’s there. I was still in my service year while all this was happening, and even though I’ve always wanted to do a Master’s programme, I didn’t plan for it to happen so fast.
I had pretty good grades from university, so I thought it’d be fairly easy for me to get admission to schools in the Netherlands. LMAO. The breakfast was hot. I’d never seen rejections come in so fast. I applied to three schools at first, and two rejected me the day after I applied. I was in shock because, how could you even make a decision so fast?
LMAO. Did they explain why?
Yeah, they did. It turned out it was because of my degree. I studied chemical engineering at the undergraduate level, so I got a Bachelor of Engineering (B.Eng). The course I was applying for at the graduate level was a research course. I needed to have a Bachelor of Science degree to apply. My B.Eng. degree was too specialised, so the other things weren’t even considered.
I took the feedback and started looking for schools that didn’t have the B.Sc. requirement. I found another school and applied. This time, I got admitted. Around the same time, I also got admitted to one of the schools I’d previously applied to. It was now time for me to plan my move to the Netherlands.
Sweet. What was that like? The immigration process
The school applied for a visa on my behalf. So all I had to do was go to their embassy in Nigeria, drop my documents, have my biometrics taken, and get my passport stamped. Pretty straightforward, right?
The first problem was the Netherlands had no embassy in Nigeria. Their closest was in the Benin Republic, so I had to travel there to get my passport stamped. It was my second time out of Nigeria, and I was shit scared.
When was the first time, and what happened then?
A couple of months prior, actually. I followed my boyfriend to get his passport stamped at the embassy in the Benin Republic. My parents didn’t even know I made the trip, but it stressed me out so much.
My boyfriend has dreads and it blares off all the alarms in police officers’ heads. We saw about a million checkpoints between Badagry and the Seme border. At every one, they asked us for money. The wild part is it wasn’t even the Beninoise policemen making life difficult for us. It was Nigerian policemen and immigration officers.
At one point, they asked us for our visa to enter the country. I’m someone who likes to do things by the book so I tried to explain that we had ECOWAS passports and that meant we could travel anywhere in West Africa without a visa. Zilch! They didn’t listen till we gave them money.
Was the second time different?
The second time, I was more prepared. My parents thought it was my first time, so my dad actually followed me. He was surprised that I seemed familiar with everything, but I just lied that I’d read about it. Because I was accompanied by my dad, I didn’t have to deal with the annoying line of questioning I did the first time. He basically answered all the questions.
When we got to Benin Republic, I entered another wahala. Typically, getting your visa approved and having your passport stamped takes three weeks. But when I went with my boyfriend the first time, it took two days. We dropped the passport on Tuesday, and by Thursday, we were called to come and pick it up. I thought my case would be similar. LMAO. I played myself.
How?
I ended up having to stay about two weeks in Benin Republic. I’m not even sure what caused the hold-up. My dad had already left after the second day and he was telling me to come home, but I didn’t want to go through the stress of facing Nigerian policemen and immigration officers at the border again without having done what I came for. So I chose to stay.
Those were the most miserable two weeks of my life. I only carried clothes for two days, so I was basically recycling them. I decided to use the time to visit their local markets, beach and so on. But I quickly ran out of places to go to, and I was just frustrated. They eventually called me to pick it up my passport, and I travelled back to Lagos.
Finally. What happened when you got home?
When I got home, my folks asked me not to mention to anyone that I was travelling abroad, like village people will follow me or something. Even things like entering a bus became an issue of “It’s not safe o. What if something happens?” But I think the urge to hide things didn’t last longer than two days. I have very good people around me, both friends and family. So I don’t think there was anyone who didn’t know about my travel plans before I left. I even had “last time together” meetings with some of my friends.
Sweet. When did you finally leave?
I left in August and landed in Amsterdam first before coming to Arnhem.
Was it what you expected?
To be honest, I didn’t really have expectations coming here. Obviously, I expected it to be fine and better than Nigeria, but apart from that, I had an open mind about the place. But I think what struck me most was how intentional the planning of this place was. It just feels so organised, and everything works at an unbelievable level.
You see this on the streets with the way people behave, and everything else. Even down to the little things like hailing a cab. If you call a cab on an app, and it says it’ll be there in two minutes, it won’t take a second longer than two minutes. It just makes life easy, and it makes me realise how much of my everyday life in Nigeria was filled with needless struggle.
Another thing is how little crime there is here. People just tend to follow rules, and it makes everything feel safe and easy. In my entire time here, I’ve probably only seen a police officer once or twice. If I lose something somewhere, I can be sure it’ll still be there when I go back. Things hardly ever go missing here, except it’s a bicycle sha.
LMAO. Why would someone steal a bicycle?
Bicycles are everywhere here, and no one really guards them like that. Because of how narrow the streets are, and how laid back everywhere is, people tend to cycle or trek to get around. In fact, I think there are more bicycles than human beings in this place.
Tell me about the people
The people here are extremely polite, and it can be unnerving sometimes. Especially coming from Nigeria where politeness isn’t what you’d naturally expect from a stranger. It gave me the creeps at first, but I’m used to it now. Also, even though the official language is Dutch, most people speak very good English. So, I don’t really feel out of place or have a hard time socialising. But most of the people I’ve made friends with are from school.
How has school been so far?
I think “wild” is the only word that describes it. First of all, I’m kind of homeless at the moment. There’s a student housing crisis in the Netherlands right now, and it affected my ability to find accommodation.
The problem is universities in the Netherlands don’t have hostels on campus, so you have to look for accommodation in the city somehow. Sometimes, the school helps with this. A lot of people find it hard to find accommodation without the help of the school.
Did you seek the school’s help?
Before I came to the Netherlands, I was asked to pay my tuition, living expenses and accommodation fees. The accommodation fees were for the school to help me find a place to stay. For context, I got my admission letter in April and was asked to pay all the fees before June 15th. I sent the money on the 6th of June, but because of Nigerian banks and CBN’s forex issues, it didn’t get to my school until July 27th, more than a month after the deadline which was slated for June 15th.
The school refunded my accommodation expenses, and I had to start looking for accommodation on my own. It’s as hellish as looking for a job in Nigeria. It’s just so hard to even find an available space anywhere, and it affected how quickly I could settle into school.
So when you say “homeless”
I’m not living under a bridge or anything, but I stay in an apartment that belongs to someone from the church my boyfriend attends in Amsterdam. I know it’s temporary, so I’m not relaxed at all. I’m basically living out of my box. This has also influenced my ability to have my boyfriend over as much as I’d like because I’d like to be settled first. The distance thing is still there, but now it’s by choice and not by design. Netherlands is a small country and I can easily decide to get on a train to Amsterdam and go be with him.
Me too. How’s education in the Netherlands different from Nigeria?
Hmm. Where do I start? It’s much harder because it’s not like the regular Nigerian system where you can just chill till exam, read for a few days and pass. They teach you as if they want you to actually understand things at a granular level.
Sometimes, it gets really hard for me. I finished from what’s probably the best school in Nigeria with pretty good grades, but I’m still scared I’ll fail here. I have exams in a couple of weeks, and I’m working hard as hell to make sure I don’t.
I’m rooting for you. Do you see yourself staying in the Netherlands after school?
Of course. I didn’t really come here for school. I came here for love. And apart from the fact that my boyfriend is here, I feel very safe. I could live here for a long time and enjoy myself because everything just works. I also like that I have family in neighbouring countries like Austria and Germany, where I can easily travel to because they’re all in the EU.
My main focus is getting through school and making sure schoolwork doesn’t finish me.
Good luck with that
Thank you. I’ll need it.
Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 9 A.M. (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.
I am truly heartbroken to see our school like this today. Our kids lost so much time with covid, we were just starting to catch them up, now this. Good give our community the strength to rebuild. pic.twitter.com/8M0DG13ajn
Heavy rainfalls and the release of excess water from Cameroon’s Lagdo Dam and other dams in Nigeria are largely responsible for the floods. The Nigerian government’s failure to build infrastructure to control floods allowed them to easily submerge hundreds of communities.
What’s the damage of the floods?
According to the Federal Government, the floods have affected 31 states and resulted in:
500 people dead
790,254 people displaced
1.4 million people directly affected
1,546 people injured
44,099 houses partially damaged
45,249 houses totally damaged
76,168 hectares of farmland partially damaged
70,566 hectares of farmland are completely destroyed
How’s the government responding?
Following the devastating impacts of flood on many communities, #DGNEMA Mustapha Habib Ahmed has approved deployment of NEMA’s mobile water treatment plants to provide emergency clean water for families at some of the worst affected communities. #Jigawa#Benue#Kogi States. pic.twitter.com/o5Xd5wzprb
Even though many Nigerians are calling the flooding disaster a national crisis, the government doesn’t have a centrally-coordinated response. The structure of disaster response currently starts at the local government and state government levels.
As first responders, these levels of government are responsible for providing relief for victims of floods. This means responding to floods can be different from state to state.
Many state governments have provided temporary shelters for flood victims displaced from their homes. But the Kogi State governor, Yahaya Bello, has complained about inadequate palliatives for the victims and called on the Federal Government to step in.
My Twitter family, this is my community Biseni kingdom in Bayelsa state.we are suffering, Biseni is the worst affected, pls we need help, palliative support from the govt. My family is displaced.😭🙏 In Akenfa, The east west road will soon be blocked as well. Please help🙏 pic.twitter.com/1aAzoDfACk
Since the flooding crisis worsened over the past two months, the National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) and Ministry of Humanitarian Affairs, Disaster Management and Social Development have coordinated the Federal Government’s response.
The ministry announced the approval of the National Emergency Flood Preparedness and Response Plan on October 11th, 2022. The plan contains immediate, short term and long-term measures to control the impact of flooding in Nigeria. However, the details of this plan are currently unknown.
NEMA claims to have distributed relief materials to over 315,000 displaced people nationwide. The agency has also collaborated with the Disaster Response Unit (DRU) of the Nigerian military to conduct search and rescue operations for trapped victims.
#flood In continuation of rescue at flooded communities and provision of support to affected persons, @nemanigeria today distributed relief items to the displaced persons in Kogi State. The distribution at St Luke Primary School Adankolo, Lokoja was with officials of Kogi SEMA pic.twitter.com/LpNq6WV5Bf
Despite this, the government needs to be doing better as NEMA expects more heavy rainfalls in the coming weeks.
What are citizens doing?
Non-profit organisations and individuals are raising funds to support victims. Nigerians who want to help can reach out to them to donate money and materials for the victims.
The government’s disorganised response to the ongoing flooding crisis makes it difficult for victims to get all the help they need at such a delicate time.
Flooding is one of the most frequent natural disasters in Nigeria and we’ve had enough years to learn valuable lessons to coordinate a better response.
Getting national honours is cool, but being in the same space as Buhari is an award in itself, and you need to act respectful. Here are some tips on acceptable behaviour when you see our darling Bubu.
First, cover your body from head to toe
We know you don’t plan to go anywhere near the president of this great country in your fitted pants or sleeveless shirts. Your parents raised you better, so you better don’t disgrace them.
Bow at his feet
You’re in the presence of the Grand Commander of the Order of the Federal Republic. Don’t kneel, and don’t just prostate. You need to fall with fear and trembling and wait until he acknowledges you and commands you to rise.
Touch the hem of his jalabiya
We don’t even need to explain why you should aim to touch the hem of his garment. Just do it, and you’ll feel the power rush through your veins and millions of naira teleport into your account.
Hail him
Throw your hands up the moment you see him and shout “tuale” for the President wey sabi — as per Bubu the Traveller.
Grab his hands and kiss them
If he tries to shake you, take his hand in both of yours and kiss his ring. That way, everyone will know you’re really respectful.
Take selfies
You happen to be in the same room with the number one citizen of Nigeria, and you won’t take pictures? Don’t even stop at pictures, go ahead to make TikTok videos, and if you wish, tell him to sign your forehead.
Cry
Frankly, the only thing that makes sense when you see Bubu is to cry and faint.
Squeeze ₦5k into his hand
Being president is hard enough, so squeeze small cash in his hand for him to use and relax. Okay, the country is hard and you don’t have money, so you can maybe try food.
Lean in and tell him “purr”
Buhari is clearly a material gurl, so you should give him the material gurl treatment.
At an event in Abuja on October 10th, 2022, President Buhari made an announcement that would make you mistake him for a feminist.
The president directed the Minister of Justice, Abubakar Malami, and Minister of Women Affairs, Pauline Tallen, to brainstorm on possible constitutional and legal changes that would create a level playing field for Nigerian women in politics and governance.
On the surface, Buhari’s call might get Nigerian women excited about inclusion. But history has shown that the president’s action is just another one of those political moves intended to use and dump voters — in this case, Nigerian women. We’ll explain.
The president made his remarks when his party, the All Progressives Congress (APC), inaugurated its Women Presidential Campaign Committee. This special committee of over 900 high-profile women is separate from the central campaign committee for the party’s presidential candidate, Bola Tinubu.
Buhari’s directive was a clear ploy to get those women to spread the gospel that his government is pro-women and will remain so if they vote for the party in 2023. But there’s enough paper trail that shows it’s nothing but shameless pandering.
A blast from the past
In March 2022, Nigerian lawmakers in the House of Representatives and Senate voted on five women-centric bills. The bills proposed to:
1. Create 111 exclusive seats for women in the National Assembly and 108 exclusive seats in the 36 state legislative chambers.
2. Allow foreign husbands of Nigerian women to become citizens by registration.
3. Fill 35% of executive committee positions of political parties with women.
4. Allow a woman to automatically become an indigene of her husband’s state after five years of marriage.
5. Fill at least 10% of federal and state cabinets with women.
All the proposals failed in either one or both chambers.
In fact, lawmakers in the House of Representatives gleefully jumped for joy after denying Nigerian women fundamental rights. Buhari’s APC controls both chambers of the National Assembly.
Nigerian women and the 2023 elections
4,223 candidates will contest for 469 seats in the National Assembly in the 2023 elections, but only 380 (9%) are women.
It’s the statistic that ensures the dismal representation of women in elective office won’t improve after the elections. And decisions like the ones the National Assembly lawmakers made in March keep women out of the picture in the places that matter. But they’re a very cherished voting bloc that usually receives empty promises when it’s time for elections.
Who’ll save Nigerian women from exploitation?
The truth is that Buhari’s charge to his officials is nothing but another case of pandering to Nigerian women. He’s well aware that the National Assembly, controlled by his party, has thrown gender inclusivity in government into the bin. Even Buhari himself promised women would make up at least 35% of his second-term cabinet, only to end up with 16% after his election.
Nigerian women are one of the most active groups during elections, which is normal because they make up half of the country. But the reality of their population isn’t represented in the make-up of Nigeria’s elective or appointive offices. It’s important that before women cast their votes in 2023, they’re confident they’re voting for people that truly have their best interests at heart.
The exploitation of the women voting bloc didn’t start with Buhari, but it’s time for Nigerian women to demand better with their votes. They’re valuable for more than just elections.
On January 15th, 2022, a former governor of Anambra State, Peter Obi, praised the Super Eagles of Nigeria on his Twitter account. He got hundreds of responses but most of them weren’t talking about his original message about the national football team.
Many of the Nigerians in his comment section were begging him to run for president. One of the replies under that tweet was so threatening that Obi had to respond directly. The Twitter user threatened legal action against the former Anambra State governor if he failed to throw his hat into the ring for the 2023 presidential election. In response, Obi said, “Give me some time.”
In 2003, four years after Nigeria returned to the loving arms of democracy, billionaire businessman, Peter Obi, contested for the seat of Anambra State governor. The Independent Electoral National Commission (INEC) declared Chris Ngige the winner of that election but Obi disagreed with the result and started a legal battle that lasted three years.
In 2006, the court ruled that Obi was the winner of the election. It was the first time a court decided the winner of a governorship election in Nigeria. Obi assumed office in March 2006 but in less than a year, Anambra State lawmakers impeached him (in November 2006) over alleged corruption. Obi claimed it was a witch-hunt because he refused to inflate the state’s annual budget. He went back to court again and won; the impeachment was overturned and he made a triumphant return in February 2007.
When it was time for another governorship election in 2007, Obi wasn’t on the ballot because he believed he was entitled to four full years in office as governor. Andy Uba won the 2007 election, and Obi had to vacate the Government House in May 2007. But he ran straight to his babalawo, the Supreme Court.
The court agreed that Obi deserved his four-year term and nullified Anambra’s 2007 governorship election to return him to office to complete his first term. This victory became the precedent for other governors who would go on to win their mandates in court and is the reason why a total of eight states now have off-cycle elections. Obi won a second term in office in 2010 and remained the governor of Anambra State till 2014.
Transmission
In 2014, Obi did what all Nigerian politicians do in their lifetime: he switched parties. He had spent his eight years as Anambra State governor as a member of the All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA). But just months after he left the Government House, he dumped the party for the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) which was in control of the Federal Government at the time.
Five years later, Obi found himself on the PDP’s presidential ticket as the running mate to former vice president, Atiku Abubakar, for the 2019 general elections.
Even though they lost the election, Obi was one of the stand-out characters from the campaign trail. His vibrant spirit, track record as governor and obsession with statistics imported from China were some of the 2019 election campaign highlights. It was his first true introduction to the national spotlight — the moment he unwittingly sowed the seeds of the Obidient movement.
The rise of Obidience
By the beginning of 2022, the 2023 presidential election was already shaping up as the usual two-horse race between the PDP and the All Progressives Congress (APC). And in those two parties, Bola Tinubu and Atiku Abubakar were already being primed to lead their tickets. But both men, veteran politicians from all the way back in the 90s, had an image problem that made them hard to swallow, especially for young voters.
As an alternative, the Nigerian youth looked across the landscape for who had more palatable appeal. Their eyes fell on Obi. That’s why hundreds of young Nigerians hounded him to run for president in response to that January tweet where he was talking about football.
Two weeks later, Obi tweeted that he would “step into the field” if the PDP zoned the presidential ticket to the south. But when it was clear the party would renege on the gentleman zoning agreement, and Atiku remained the favourite to win the party’s ticket, Obi’s growing supporter base started prompting him to leave the party and join another one that would put him on the ballot.
This move would be tricky because only the APC and the PDP command political “structures” strong enough to win national elections. But as his chances of clinching the PDP ticket dwindled, Obi took the plunge and joined the Labour Party (LP).
Obi’s move enjoyed widespread support among the demographic of young Nigerians disillusioned with the establishment, and they vowed to carry his campaign on their heads. And as the support base swelled, they needed a name. They became Obidients.
What’s the appeal of Peter Obi?
Every Nigerian election has a candidate billed as the “messiah” to lead Nigerians out of the wilderness to the Promised Land. Even though Obidients have stopped short of using that tag, Peter Obi represents the wealth of option Nigerians don’t usually get in presidential elections. He’s distinguished himself, with his much-talked-about humility, financial prudence, and a certain kind of sophistication that’s become a rarity in Nigerian elections.
Since winning LP’s presidential ticket, Obi’s campaign has been fueled chiefly by supporters with a deep sense of commitment to his ministry and the hope that he represents. In response to criticism that he has no political structure to win a national election, Obidients have rolled up their sleeves and got down to work. They’ve moved what was once derided as a social media campaign to the grassroots to win more voters to the Obidient movement.
The result of the work is starting to show in opinion polls that have boosted confidence about Peter Obi’s chances. According to three prominent polls, including one by Bloomberg, Obi is ahead of his two main rivals and is primed to win the election next year.
One of Peter Obi’s most prominent narratives is that he’s a political “outsider” even though he’s an establishment politician who’s broken bread with the same political class Nigerian youths are desperate to retire. But the candidate has had to fight for a political career that his supporters feel makes him different.
To end up inside Aso Rock Villa, he’ll need his Obidient force to pull off the impossible and spit in the face of an unyielding status quo.
Running to become the president of a country like Nigeria isn’t a joke — just ask Buhari who tried for 13 years before he won or the man who’s been contesting for 30 years without success.
Four months from today, Nigerians will vote for a new president. But before that decision is made, voters will have to deal with seeing these types of candidates during the campaigns for the 2023 elections.
The motivational speaker
An orator and a master of wordplay who can make even Martin Luther King sweat. This type of candidate claims they grew up with no shoes and sold firewood to spirits in the jungle just so they could feed their family. They’re only in the race to do spoken word poetry and not much else.
The frontrunner
This character is considered a real contestant for the seat. They’re typically a “former something” which is how you know they’ve been around the seat of power before and the presidency is their final infinity stone. If they’re not the candidate of one of the major parties, they have a personal political profile big enough to make them a key player in the contest. Candidates like this hog the news headlines with campaign promises voters know they won’t fulfill.
The placeholder
This one is only in the race so that they can drop out and endorse a frontrunner weeks before the election. Their candidacy is actually a ploy to get a political appointment.
The youngster
This candidate’s only selling point is they’re the youngest in the race and two plus two equals Bitcoin. There’s no campaign structure and no well-outlined plans to deserve being elected; only the audacious arrogance of youth.
The bambiala hustler
You can be forgiven for thinking this candidate is the CEO of an NGO because all they do during the campaign is beg the public for donations, but you never see them do any actual campaigning with it.
The technocrat
This one wants to play politics and win political office without being called a politician. Their entire campaign strategy rests on making voters believe they read one random unknown book that’ll help them fix all of Nigeria’s problems in six months.
The chosen one
This candidate tells anyone who cares to listen that they’re only contesting because God took time out of His busy schedule to appear to them in their dream to inform them they’ll be Nigeria’s next president.
The other chosen one
Even though one candidate already said God personally chose them to be president, this other candidate tells the exact same story. Now, you have to wonder if one or both are lying, or if Nigeria is about to have two serving presidents.
The one who’ll win less than 1,000 votes
This candidate is on the ballot to make up the numbers. Their party really just needed anyone to appear on the ballot to keep up appearances. At least three people in their family won’t even vote for them on election day.
The social media candidate
You only see this candidate’s campaign on social media or in a couple of TV and radio interviews, but you’ll never catch them on the streets or at rallies with actual voters. That’s because running for president is only a side gig and they still have to focus on their daily hustle for urgent ₦2k.
The stat-padder
This candidate is the backbencher of presidential candidates. They’re only in the race so they can put “former presidential candidate” on their CV and brag about it at cocktail parties. They don’t run an actual campaign, rather they remain as invisible as possible. The only reason anyone knows them is they’re on INEC’s list of candidates.
The comedic relief
This candidate provides comedy content for voters to let off steam in the thick of campaigns. They can be anybody from the frontrunner, youngster or the one that’ll end up with votes less than the number of people at a regular Lagos owambe.
It's officially skit season for the 2023 presidential election campaign with Tinubu's proof of life video. pic.twitter.com/ycJu7SfKGp
This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.
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Anyone who envies the job of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) is a bloody liar. Every four years, the commission coordinates a national election involving tens of millions of voters spread across 774 local government areas in Nigeria.
And considering the dire consequences of messing up an election, we’d say INEC’s job isn’t the easiest in the world. Some of us can’t even organise a house party without a guest peeing in the kitchen sink.
[Image source: Shutterstock]
With the scale of INEC’s task, it’s unsurprising that there are problems. For example, Nigerian elections have suffered from violent acts like ballot snatching and voter intimidation for as long as anyone remembers.
But another problem that has prominently hampered Nigerian elections is vote-buying. Party agents target vulnerable voters at the polls and pay them to vote for their candidates.
This culture cheapens the democratic process and boosts the victory chances of only the unworthy and desperate. But INEC has a solution for that vote-buying problem ahead of the 2023 elections: secret agents.
[Image source: Zikoko Memes]
One of INEC’s core strategies to clamp down on vote-buying is to unleash spies on polling units. These James Bond wannabes are plain-clothed security officers deployed to catch vote-buyers and sellers. But INEC won’t stop there.
The agency is also repositioning voting cubicles to make it easier for voters to cast secret ballots. This creates a trust issue between buyers and sellers as a vote-buyer can’t confirm that the seller is voting in the direction agreed between both parties. And if you’re thinking, “That’s what phone cameras are for, duh,” INEC also plans to forbid voters from taking their mobile phones into the voting cubicles.
[Image source: Zikoko Memes]
Vote-buying is a very serious problem for Nigeria’s democratic process. The nation’s laws already criminalise the buying and selling of votes with a maximum fine of ₦500,000, 12 months imprisonment or both. But this isn’t enough to deter politicians from buying the conscience of voters.
However, INEC’s James Bond plan won’t be enough to limit vote-buying. As a voter on election day, when you see something at a polling booth, say something. Your future depends on it.
What else happened this week?
Ethiopia withdraws red carpet treatment for Nigerian travellers
[Image source: Zikoko Memes]
Nigerians must be crowned the eighth wonder of the world with all the shege that we use our eyes to see as citizens of Nigeria. This week, the Ethiopian government announced that Nigerians have to apply for a visa before they hop on a plane to visit their — let’s not forget — very war-torn country. Before this announcement, Nigerians could jump on that plane first and get a visa on arrival there.
Ethiopia didn’t even dignify Nigeria with an explanation for why it made this decision, but the same restriction applies to 41 other countries mainly in Africa and South America. At least we can say it’s not only us, but this isn’t about just Ethiopia. The country’s action continues a worrying trend of visa restrictions hurting Nigerians.
In September, the United Arab Emirates (UAE) reviewed its visa regime and stopped issuing tourist visas to Nigerians under the age of 40 years, except for those applying for family visas. Earlier in July, Turkey also barred Nigerian applicants from accessing the e-visa provisions and they didn’t even bother to announce it. Nigerians need answers as their movement around the world is made harder by the colour of their passports.
Let my people go! [Image source: Zikoko Memes]
In times like this, you have to wonder what the Minister of Foreign Affairs is doing, and we assure you his name isn’t Abike Dabiri-Erewa.
What’s the single most important thing you think Buhari needs to do before he leaves office next year?
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Ehen, one more thing…
It’s only months until the 2023 general elections and Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu announced salary increments for civil service workers in Lagos State. You’re not sleek Cousin Jide. We know vote-buying when we see it.
On October 11th, 2022, President Buhari will host a ceremony at the Aso Rock Villa to confer national honours on 437 recipients. These honours are the nation’s most premium, the kind that you win and can legitimately use “Do you know who I am?” unprovoked in an argument with a random stranger.
These national honours are a recognition of meritorious service to Nigeria, mostly for Nigerians but also awarded to some outstanding foreigners.
For example, one of the recipients of this year’s honours is the late Dr Stella Adadevoh who courageously limited the spread of Ebola in Nigeria in 2014. Another recipient is Abdullahi Abubakar, an imam who hid and protected 262 Christians from being killed during a religious crisis in Plateau State in 2018. Josephine Agu, an airport cleaner who returned $12,200 she found in a toilet, will also receive the honour.
Some public officeholders also get these honours by default. But if there’s anything to expect about a national honours list, it’s that everyone can’t agree that every recipient deserves it. And there are some names on Buhari’s list that have raised eyebrows, but first…
What are the Nigerian national honours?
Here’s a list of the national honours Buhari is awarding Nigerians — and seven foreigners — this year.
1. Grand Commander of the Niger (GCON)
2. Commander of the Order of the Federal Republic (CFR)
3. Commander of the Order of the Niger (CON)
4. Officer of the Order of the Federal Republic (OFR)
5. Officer of the Order of the Niger (OON)
6. Member of the Order of the Federal Republic (MFR)
7. Member of the Order of the Niger (MON)
8. Federal Republic Medal I (FRM I)
9. Federal Republic Medal II (FRM II)
These are some of the award recipients raising eyebrows
Ogbonnaya Onu for CON
This man has been the Nigerian Minister of Science and Technology since 2015 and it’s impossible to say he’s covered himself in glory.
In 2016, unprovoked, Onu promised that Nigeria would hack the local production of pencils within two years. Six years later and his promise has entered voicemail alongside the 400,000 new jobs he promised.
We didn’t ask for flying cars or landing a Nigerian on the moon o. Ordinary local pencil production and he didn’t deliver, so why does he deserve a CON?
Adamu Adamu for CON
This man supervised some of the worst ASUU strikes in Nigeria’s history, so who was he really serving to deserve a CON? And to award him at a time when university students have been sitting at home for over eight months is just rubbing salt into the wound.
Mamman Daura for CON
Mamman Daura is also getting a CON for being an “elder statesman”, but you may remember him as Buhari’s nephew. Blood isn’t just thicker than water; it can also get you a national award.
Sabi’u Yusuf for OON
Sabi’u Yusuf is another awardee with blood ties to the president and it’s just easy at this point to call this the Buhari family honours list. Yusuf also serves as Buhari’s personal assistant and was once involved in a confrontation with the first lady, Aisha Buhari, that resulted in a gun discharge inside Aso Rock Villa. Being the president’s favourite young nephew gets you an OON.
Femi Adesina
For all the years of talking down on Nigerians and calling Buhari “the ramrod straight man” one too many times, Femi Adesina, the president’s vuvuzela, is also being rewarded with an OON.
The Federal Government has disowned the list of award recipients reported by the media and promised to release the authentic list when appropriate. But we’ll all see on October 11th, won’t we?
On October 7th, 2022, Muhammadu Buhari presented his final annual budget as the president of Nigeria.
He proposed a bill of ₦20.51 trillion to the National Assembly in a long speech that surprisingly didn’t put us to sleep. Here are the things we learnt from his presentation of the 2023 budget.
Buhari is proud of his achievements
Buhari has only seven months left until the end of his eight-year reign as Nigeria’s president, so it’s expected that he’d be in a reflective mood.
He travelled down memory lane to talk about his supposed achievements in the areas of infrastructure and good governance.
He also talked about his government’s “impressive” investment in improving Nigeria’s power generation to 4,000 megawatts. Let’s not forget that this figure is serving a country of over 200 million people.
“Bring before me all your taxes so I can afford a medical trip to London“
Nigeria wants to be a baller, but it’s currently on a mechanic’s income, and Buhari doesn’t like that so much. The president described revenue shortfall as the “greatest threat to Nigeria’s fiscal viability”.
And his most prominent solution for addressing that is checking inside the pockets of Nigerians to collect taxes, but sapa has already beaten the government to it.
Everyone is worried about crude oil theft
One of the main causes of Nigeria’s revenue shortfall is decreased earnings from crude oil which is the nation’s main source of income. This decrease is due to the activities of oil thieves who are lining their personal pockets with resources that belong to everyone.
The Senate President, Ahmad Lawan, described the thieves as “the worst enemy of Nigeria” in his opening speech. We don’t know if that’s because he really cares about Nigerians or because the situation potentially puts his own jumbo allowances in jeopardy.
Buhari and the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Femi Gbajabiamila, also raised concerns about the theft. We just didn’t hear them propose concrete solutions to stop the stealing.
Buhari isn’t worried about Nigeria’s gbese
Even though Nigeria isn’t making as much as it needs, and is using much of its meagre revenue to service heavy debt, Buhari still isn’t worried.
With Nigeria’s total public debt at ₦42.9 trillion, Buhari considers Nigeria’s position as within acceptable limits compared to other countries. So, he thinks this is an “I better pass my neighbour” situation even if both neighbours are stranded in a sinking boat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
In Buhari’s proposal, Nigeria will even borrow an additional ₦8.8 trillion to finance the 2023 budget.
ASUU strikes are forever?
Nigerian students have been sitting at home for eight months due to the strike action by university lecturers over the government’s failure to respect agreements made several years ago.
Students watching Buhari’s 2023 budget presentation wouldn’t have been too pleased to hear the president say his government won’t sign any agreements it can’t implement due to scarce resources.
The president proposed that the government and the people jointly share the cost of education and build a more sustainable system. He didn’t elaborate on how this can happen, but you can imagine it won’t be his problem for much longer.
Buhari has set a standard
Before Buhari became president, Nigeria’s budget presentation and passage used to be chaotic, especially with timelines. But this is the third consecutive year that a national budget will be signed before the beginning of the year it’s proposed for. The timely passage of the budget helps better with implementation and fosters a healthy process. It’s not much, but it’s not nothing. Sai Baba, maybe?
Buhari loves his National Assembly bromance
In his final budget presentation, Buhari didn’t miss the opportunity to note that he’s enjoyed the massive support of the current National Assembly for his second term in office.
Critics have called them a rubber stamp assembly for being yes-men to Buhari, but the president, who loved getting their many yeses, gave them a shoutout before he dropped the mic.
The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
If you want to move to Canada, you need to read this #AbroadLife. This week’s subject started the process in 2017 and eventually left in 2021. Why? Drama everywhere. At some point, she even received a provincial nomination and said no. Big mistake.
When did you first decide to move abroad?
2017. I was frustrated.
Why?
My job didn’t appreciate me. They passed me up for many promotions, and I felt stagnant. It was a multinational company. People with the same job description in other country branches had higher roles.
I had a church member who kept telling me he was working on his japa to Canada via their skilled worker Express Entry program, and I should do it too. Even random people I met through work told me they were doing it, and I should too. I’d also been praying, and God told me I would travel abroad.
When did you start the process?
2017. I wrote the IELTS, verified my university degree and put some money in treasury bills for proof of funds. In 2018, I entered the pool of applicants waiting to be called by Canada based on points. At the time, more people from around the world were looking to migrate to Canada, so the average point total suddenly got higher.
One week after I got in the pool, I got a provincial nomination from Ontario because of my science background and profession. I didn’t take it.
Ehn?
See, it haunted me for years. But I didn’t take it because it came so easily, so I felt like another would come. The nomination had a two-week validity period. I needed to pay some money and rush some processes. I didn’t have the money at the time, but I could’ve borrowed it. I could’ve made the entire thing work and gone in 2018. But I was just like, “They’ll call me again joor.”
LMAO. Unfortunately…
They didn’t o. I now had to stay in the pool of applicants waiting for their scores to be called. But my 438 points were not good enough. I just stayed, praying and waiting. But the limbo was crazy.
Tell me about it
First of all, I stopped looking for other jobs because I didn’t want to invest my energy in a new one. I also stopped hustling for promotions because I didn’t think I was staying much longer. I stopped making new friends and wasn’t looking for potential partners, didn’t change my terribly old car, and even put my dream of owning lots of land in Nigeria on hold. I’d bought two plots sometime in 2016, but didn’t want to continue buying. I was saving money to settle in my new country.
When did they call your points, please?
January 2019. After a series of strong prayers, they suddenly called scores lower than they’d been calling for a while. And guess what? They haven’t called scores that low since. Definitely a miracle. That’s how I got my Invitation to Apply (ITA).
What’s ITA?
It means you’re qualified to apply for Canadian permanent residence. That’s when you do biometrics and medicals and submit documents like proof of funds, criminal records, education and work history, and so on. When this process is done, they stamp your passport as a Canadian permanent resident.
How long does it take?
Typically, about six months. But those six months coincided with me meeting the love of my life, so by the time they requested my passport for stamping in September 2019, I was already married. I rejected the passport request and added my husband to the process.
You had to start again?
Oh, no. I just put it in the application that I was adding a partner. First, it was silence from Canada. But after some more prayers and emails disturbing them, they eventually asked for proof that it was a long-term relationship and not an arranged marriage for visa by December.
What kind of proof?
Pictures and old texts.
Not Canada getting all the tea. What happened next?
COVID. In February 2021, we finally got our Confirmation of Permanent Residence (COPR) and were eligible to travel. It was valid for two months. But there was a problem. Because of COVID, Canada said people shouldn’t come to their country. So there was the danger that the visas would expire in our hands if we couldn’t make it into Canada by April.
Omo
Because of the travel ban, no airlines were leaving Canada from Nigeria. But some airlines were lowkey flying from other countries like Cameroon and Egypt. I didn’t know how they were letting the aircrafts land, but once you were in, Canada wouldn’t turn you back.
So one hot afternoon in April, I left Nigeria for Cameroon to sneak into Canada like many people were doing. Only my husband knew about this. Once I was in Canada, he could come legally. Those were the rules.
It didn’t feel right in my spirit. The bible passage I read on my way said something about waiting for God’s time. But I went anyways. I was desperate.
At the airport in Cameroon, there were even more Nigerians than Cameroonians. Everyone was there for the same reason. We bought our tickets in cash at exorbitant prices and waited for our flight. As we were at the boarding gate, 20 minutes away from our flight, one airport official came out of nowhere and started shouting that no more flights to Canada were leaving the airport.
Ah!
It was like a movie. Apparently, someone had flagged that an unusual number of Nigerians were coming to take the flights, and they didn’t want to get in trouble, so that was the end of their lowkey trips to Canada.
If you see grown men and women on their knees, crying and begging. Pregnant women, women with children, everyone. Me, I was in a corner with some other Nigerians, praying. In the end, they didn’t let us go, I didn’t get my money back, and I had to return to Nigeria. That’s when I told my family the story.
By the end of April, our visas expired. In my life, I’ve never cried as much as I did during that period.
November 2021, we got another visa.
You left the next day, right?
LMAO. This time, borders were open, so there was no fear. We wanted to leave in January 2022 because there was a family event in December. But one morning in December, we woke up and saw that the Omicron variant of COVID had been discovered in Nigeria. What that meant was Canada could say flights from Nigeria were banned. Omo, we bought our tickets and left that day. Our boxes had already kuku been packed for almost a year. We didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to family and friends, but it is what it is. I was pregnant and didn’t want to have my baby in Nigeria.
Expectation vs reality: Canada edition
The family that received and housed us our first few months in Canada already told us we shouldn’t expect to get to Canada and immediately get a job in our career, making sweet money, get a nice house and everything. That’s why people get frustrated. They don’t understand that no matter how far you’ve gone in your career, you most likely have to start from the bottom in Canada. But things’ll move fast.
Also, I found out that information is very important here.
Give me an example
Because there’s a big Nigerian community where we live, we could make friends and get good information about the types of jobs to apply for, houses to rent, taxes, driver’s license… just everything we’d have struggled to find out if we were here on our own.
Instead of going out to look for jobs, foreigners who can speak English can get customer service representative jobs from home. It was the best kind of job to get during winter because we didn’t have to go anywhere. After a few months of living with the family friend, we got our own apartment, and my husband got a job in his field. Me, I had my baby, and thankfully, I qualified for government-paid maternity leave.
How do you qualify?
By working at least 400 hours in the year you have your baby. It’s something God did for me. The customer service job made us work overtime, so by the time I was having my baby, I’d just passed the 400-hour mark.
Congrats!
Thanks! The healthcare here is premium. I now understand why Buhari travels abroad for his health.
My delivery was traumatic. We had to switch to a C-Section, then I had a seizure, and they had to put me to sleep so my brain wouldn’t have permanent damage. I was so, so close to death.
I was treated with so much care, I thought I was a special patient. I had to stay in the ICU for nine days after delivery. The nurses were so great. They even came to my house to check on me and the baby. At the end of the day, I didn’t pay a dime because healthcare in Canada is free.
Is there anything you miss about Nigeria?
I have no help with my child. It’s just the both of us. For some strange reason, my mum didn’t get her visa to come and take care of the child. If I were in Nigeria, I’d have so many people to help me. I had a maid to help me do stuff around the house, go to the market and cook. If you’re used to comfort and not doing a lot of domestic work, moving here will make you adjust.
But after many years of trying, I’m happy to be here. Life is sweet.
In 2012, Nigeria lost 431 people to flooding incidents that also displaced 1.2 million people across 30 states. The flooding disaster affected over seven million people with losses estimated at ₦2.6 trillion. The 2012 floods were the worst Nigeria had seen in 40 years and no other year has touched the hem of its garment since then, until 2022.
[Image source: Reuters/Afolabi Sotunde]
For months, many communities in Nigeria have received August visitors in the form of destructive floods. These floods have forced thousands of people out of their homes.
No Noah’s ark. Only Governor Yahaya Bello of Kogi State in a canoe with his film crew
Who’s affected?
The National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) reported that 33 Nigerian states recorded flood incidents between January and August 2022. These incidents affected 508,000 people, including 372 that died. NEMA also reported at least 277 people were injured during these floods. The devastation destroyed 37,633 homes and caused the loss of livestock. But the figures NEMA reported aren’t even close to the devastation state officials have reported.
[Image source: AP Photo]
Since that September report, major flooding incidents occurred in nine local government areas in Kogi State, displacing over 50,000 people in one local government area alone.
Anambra State also reported the displacement of 651,053 people after floods submerged houses, farmlands, schools, health centres, police stations and other critical infrastructure.
The floods also affected over 31,000 people over the course of six months and displaced 6,592 residents across 255 communities in Yobe State. The incidents resulted in the death of 75 people and the destruction of houses and livestock worth millions of naira.
At least seven people were reported dead when flash floods affected many communities in Lagos State in July. In August, more than 50 people lost their lives in floods triggered by heavy rainfalls in dozens of communities in Jigawa State. In the same month, at least 10 people died and thousands were displaced in flood incidents in Adamawa State. More than 3,000 people were displaced in Jabilamba community alone.
[Image source: Twitter/@AlejiOjay]
The Bayelsa State government recently announced what it called “a flood break” for schools to shut down while water levels recede. This break will last for six weeks between October and November. The goal of the break is to safeguard the lives of teachers and students living in the predominantly riverine areas of the state.
Tragic flood incidents have also been recorded in Borno, Ebonyi, Rivers, Niger, Nasarawa, Kebbi, Bauchi, Taraba, Delta, Kano, Gombe, Benue, Cross River and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT). Everywhere floods have shown up across Nigeria, there’s chaos.
What’s causing the flooding?
Nigeria’s struggle with flooding this year isn’t much of a surprise to authorities as it was covered in the 2022 Seasonal Rainfall Prediction report released in February by the Nigerian Meteorological Agency (NIMET).
[Source: Twitter/@aliyusadiq_gky]
Many of the affected states have been hit by flash floods caused by heavy rainfall, especially in communities close to water bodies. But the most recent flooding incidents have worsened with the September 13 release of excess water from Lagdo Dam in Cameroon. The excess water travels through the River Benue and its tributaries to wreak havoc on riverine communities in Nigeria. Nigerian officials expect the effect of the release from the dam to last till the end of October.
The release of excess water from Kiri Dam in Adamawa is having the same effect on the crisis. The Nigeria Hydrological Services Agency (NIHSA) has also warned that the overflowing of the inland reservoirs in Nigeria including Kainji, Jebba, and Shiroro dams will worsen the severity of the floods until the end of October.
1. Enlightenment of people in at-risk communities.
2. Proper channeling of water bodies.
3. Providing temporary shelters for displaced people.
4. Providing relief items for the victims.
[Image source: NEMA]
How citizens can help to reduce flooding
Outside of what the government should do to prevent future flood disasters, citizens can ease the flooding crisis by
1. Not blocking waterways with garbage.
2. Always clearing drainages.
3. Not constructing buildings on waterways.
4. Vacating to safer, higher grounds, for those living along river banks.
[Source: Tribune]
The floods haven’t only claimed lives and displaced tens of thousands of Nigerians, but also devastated communities and socioeconomic activities. When the invasive floods eventually recede, Nigerians should demand answers from all levels of government on why they didn’t do more to prevent a foretold crisis.
It takes a village to pull off an election. No Nigerian election is complete without the candidates pulling antics, boring campaign rallies, cringey skits and dance videos, exaggerated campaign promises, and banners like this:
But more than anything, an election needs voters. In fact, the legitimacy of an election is often defined by how many people turn out to vote. These voters are the people who fuel an election campaign after buying into the vision of their preferred candidate and spreading their gospel everywhere they go.
But just like with anything that happens where two or more are gathered in service of anything, there are bound to be… issues.
The problem with Nigeria’s 2023 elections campaign
As with any sort of competition, with elections, it’s never enough to say pounded yam is your favourite swallow. It’s equally as important to outline and, with the aid of diagrams, prove that your opponent’s semo is manufactured inside Lucifer’s latrine. The goal of putting on that pressure is to get them — and other undecided people — to ditch semo and join hands with you to crown pounded yam as the king of swallow that it is.
Your choice is elite and any other choice is a counterfeit
Over the course of the campaigns for the 2023 presidential election, this culture of putting down the other camp has oftentimes crossed six lanes into harassment. The most recent episode involved Nollywood actress, Joke Silva, who openly declared her support for the presidential candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Bola Tinubu. The wave of online harassment that followed her declaration forced her to disable comments on her Instagram page. And she’s only one of many that have been targeted for online harassment over their choice of candidate.
More than once, the presidential candidate of the Labour Party (LP), Peter Obi, has cautioned his supporters to be of good conduct. His repeated calls for restraint were fueled by the sometimes problematic online attacks against other candidates and their supporters.
while you concentrate on issues to promote our cause of moving our dear Nigeria from consumption to production, create jobs, and generally evolve a better Nigeria – PO
But at the same time, other camps have also targeted Obi’s supporters and mislabeled them as terrorists using his campaign to further their supposed anti-government agenda. His supporters have also faced real-world violence while trying to boost support for him in the streets. In August 2022, thugs in Lagos State rough-handled a physically-challenged Obi supporter who proudly displayed his support on his wheelchair.
Physically challenged man, John Solam from Adamawa state allegedly attacked by thugs for campaigning for Peter Obi in Lagos state pic.twitter.com/C8vo2NkuJD
The many incidents of online harassment and offline violence currently brewing aren’t new in Nigeria. And while opposing camps keep arguing over which one is more damaging to Nigeria’s democratic process, there’s a more important question to answer.
Where’s the voter’s right to choose?
The real beauty of democracy is the right it bestows on every eligible person to choose who they want to represent their interests in government. And while this right is protected by the nation’s relevant laws, it’s not completely divorced from the freedom of speech of others to criticise it. But this freedom also has certain limits, and to go beyond them is considered harmful.
Nigeria’s 2023 presidential election is deeply personal to the more than 90 million people registered to vote. Nigerians have been dragged through too many traumatic events over the past seven years. It’d be foolish not to carefully consider the nation’s next leadership choice as critical to its survival. But it’s still important to always know where the big red line is.
An election isn’t determined by who screams the loudest obscenities online but by the people that show up to vote at the polls. If you want to make sure your pounded yam becomes the king of swallow, the best strategy is to find like-minded people like yourself who love pounded yam or are at least open-minded enough to listen to your pitch. Raining fire and brimstone on semo lovers or, even worse, fufu lovers, isn’t likely to get them to turn their back on their favourite food.
It’s important that when the 2023 presidential election is over, there’s enough of a relationship to mend for everyone to work together for the country’s future, regardless of who wins. The 2023 election is a battle for Nigeria’s soul and it’s essential that participants don’t lose their own way in the pursuit of moulding a better country.
It’s official that Nigeria’s current senate president, Ahmad Lawan, won’t be on the ballot for re-election to the Senate in 2023. Lawan has been a member of the National Assembly since 1999 living the Nigerian dream: getting credit alerts from the Nigerian treasury.
Unfortunately, for him, his early retirement isn’t by choice. In June 2022, Lawan contested for his political party’s ticket for the Nigerian presidency but lost. To console himself, he went back to pick the ticket for his Senate seat but someone else already won it and refused to let it go. The long and short of Lawan’s sad tale is he tried to have his cake and eat it but it was poisoned.
Lawan’s absence from the next roster of the National Assembly is notable because he’s the second successive senate president who’s failed to win re-election. This made us curious enough to check on how senate presidents have performed since 1999, and we found a very interesting trend of village people at work.
Let’s run down the list.
Evan Enwerem, 1999 — 1999
Evan Enwerem served as Nigeria’s first senate president in the Fourth Republic but he didn’t even finish the interior decoration of his office when a committee started investigating him for corruption.
Lawmakers accused him of falsifying his age and academic qualifications and there was a dispute over if his name was “Evans” or “Evan”. They said:
Five months into his reign as senate president, 90 lawmakers voted to impeach Enwerem. Even though he kept his seat as a senator for the remainder of his four-year term, he didn’t return for another one.
Chuba Okadigbo, 1999 — 2000
Okadigbo lost the first senate presidency election to Enwerem but won on his second attempt after Enwerem got booted out of the position.
But like his predecessor, Okadigbo also lasted only a short time in the position. 81 senators voted to impeach him nine months into his tenure, over allegations of gross abuse of public office. They accused him of personal enrichment including having 32 official vehicles and spending more than $120,000 over the budget authorised for furnishing his official residence.
He contested the 2003 presidential election as a running mate to Muhammadu Buhari and lost. He never returned to the Senate.
Anyim Pius Anyim, 2000 — 2003
Anyim Pius Anyim took over as senate president after Okadigbo’s exit. He led an unsuccessful attempt to impeach President Olusegun Obasanjo and survived an attempt by other lawmakers to impeach him too. He didn’t contest for re-election to the Senate in 2003 because his clash with Obasanjo dampened his chances of victory.
Adolphus Wabara, 2003 — 2005
Adolphus Wabara became Nigeria’s senate president at the start of his second term as a senator in 2003. But he resigned from the office two years later, after the Obasanjo administration publicly indicted him over a ₦55 million bribery scandal.
He battled the allegations in court for years and never returned to the Senate when his second term ended in 2007.
Ken Nnamani, 2005 — 2007
Ken Nnamani became the senate president as a first-term senator after Wabara’s resignation in 2005. He remained senate president till 2007 but never returned for another term.
David Mark, 2007 — 2015
David Mark was the first senator in Nigeria’s Fourth Republic to break the senate president’s jinx. After serving two terms in the Senate, he became its president in his third term in 2007 and won re-election in 2011. He couldn’t retain his senate president seat in 2015 because his party lost the majority in the Senate, but he remained a senator till 2019.
Bukola Saraki, 2015 — 2019
After one term as a senator, Bukola Saraki schemed his way to becoming the senate president in 2015. He escaped impeachment moves against him to retain the seat until 2019, but he lost his re-election bid.
Ahmad Lawan, 2019 — 2023
Like most of the other senate presidents on this list, Lawan is facing an unplanned retirement from the Senate just after assuming the top seat. After 24 years in the National Assembly, he’s finally bowing out, reluctantly.
If there’s anything this trend shows, it’s that once you’re a Nigerian senate president, your days in the national assembly are numbered. That’s something for the next senate president to chew on.
On May 29th, 2023, Muhammadu Buhari will hand over his trials and tribulations as Nigeria’s president to a new landlord of Aso Rock Villa.
He’s already delivered his last speech at the United Nations’ General Assembly (UNGA) and his last boring pre-recorded Independence Day speech as he approaches the end of his second term. But before he leaves, it’s important that he ticks certain boxes, from fulfilling promises he made before he became president to random stuff we think needs closure.
These are the seven things we expect Buhari to do over the next seven months before he leaves Aso Rock Villa.
Lift 100 million people out of poverty
Nigeria is home to one of the largest populations of poor people in the world. It’s why many young people are trying to japa to escape sapa. Buhari’s mishandling of the economy is responsible for the mess. In reaction to the worrying population of poor people, he made an ambitious promise in 2019 to lift 100 million Nigerians out of poverty before he leaves office.
With only seven months left, the president needs to show us the 100 million people he lifted out of poverty, their addresses, genotypes and next of kin.
Actually end Boko Haram
When the Nigerian government postponed the 2015 elections due to the activities of Boko Haram terrorists in the northeast region, Buhari wasn’t a big fan of the decision. This was his reaction.
Since he’s been president, he’s declared many false and premature victories over Boko Haram and has been left with eggs on his face. Boko Haram’s terrorism may have significantly decreased over the past seven years of Buhari’s reign, but the group still has fighting power and exists as the Islamic State West African Province (ISWAP). It’d be a shame if the terrorist group outlasts the president after all the mouth he’s made.
Buhari needs to close that terrorism chapter of Nigeria’s history before he returns to Daura.
Repay his gbese
With Buhari at the wheel, Nigeria’s total public debt shot up from ₦12.1 trillion in 2015 to ₦42.9 trillion in June 2022. The more he borrowed, the more he pushed for debt forgiveness or cancellation at every international meeting with world leaders, including at his last UNGA in September 2022.
And since no one’s interested in cancelling the debt Buhari helped Nigeria rack up, he has to figure out a way to repay in the seven months he has left.
Return foreign exchange rate to where he met it
The Buhari campaign made many eye-catching campaign promises in 2015, and one of the spiciest was the promise to make ₦1 the same value as $1.
But that same naira currently trades at over ₦700 to $1, seven years after he promised to do magic.
At this point, we don’t even want him and Meffy to do magic again; just return the naira’s value to where he met it in 2015.
Do a live interview
For the most part of his presidency, Buhari has avoided live interviews like a plague.
He’s settled for pre-recorded speeches read off teleprompters and a rare couple of interviews with journalists that were cut and joined together inside a studio.
Buhari should indulge Nigerians and do just one live interview before he leaves office. We want to check something.
Be treated by a Nigerian doctor
Improving healthcare in Nigeria was another one of the promises that stood out during Buhari’s campaign in 2015. But Nigerians saw his true colours when he assumed office and left even his own State House clinic to rot while he fled to the United Kingdom to treat headaches and whatever kept him there for three months in 2017.
Buhari has clung stubbornly to the claim that he can’t be treated by anyone but his UK-based doctors. But just before he retires, we’re going to need him to receive medical care — even if it’s paracetamol — from a Nigerian doctor.
Call Abacha a thief
Everyone and their grandchild know who Abacha is — a thief who stole billions of dollars from Nigeria’s treasury and died before he could spend the loot. And despite the fact his government has recovered millions of dollars stolen by Abacha, Buhari has failed to retract his past comments that his old friend never stole Nigeria’s money. We’re going to need him to eat those humble pies on national TV before he drops the mic and retires to Daura.
This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.
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Nigeria has a very short list of frequent natural disasters: Ponzi schemes, politicians and destructive annual floods.
Over the past week, thousands of people living in Kogi State became homeless after invasive floods visited them and decided to feel at home. Many of these victims have raised alarm about their fate, but this isn’t just a story about Kogi.
Source: Twitter/@AlejiOjay
This year, more than half a million Nigerians have suffered the same watery fate witnessed in Kogi this week. Between January and August alone, flood incidents in 33 states killed 372 people, according to statistics from the National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA). And the sad thing is there’s nothing special about what’s happening because it repeats itself every year.
Heavy rainfalls cause much of these flood incidents but there’s a man-made aspect to it too. Every year, Cameroonian officials release excess water from Lagdo Dam. The excess water knows no boundaries and travels, without a visa, through the River Niger and Benue to wreak havoc in Nigeria. This happens every year, yet the government hardly ever prepares for it other than to raise alarm.
In fact, Kogi’s Commissioner for Environment, Victor Omofaiye, was upset that the victims ignored NEMA’s warnings to move to higher ground, even though there’s little evidence the government provided them with alternatives. The state government is now scrambling to provide relief for those affected by appealing to the Federal Government and non-governmental organisations (NGOs).
Until that help comes, at least the affected residents can console themselves with these shamelessly-branded boats the Kogi State first lady, Rashida Yahaya Bello, donated before this week’s severe floods.
Source: Blueprint
What Else Happened This Week?
The Battle for Who’ll Inherit Buhari’s Mess Is Live!
Presidential candidates have been heavily flirting with Nigerians for the past couple of months but that’s just pre-marital sex in election campaign terms. It wasn’t until September 28, 2022 that the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) blew the whistle for the official start of campaigns.
This leaves the floor open for candidates to commence the battle for the unique honour of becoming the man or woman who inherits Buhari-shaped trials and tribulations from May 29, 2023.
The candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Atiku Abubakar, flagged off his campaign with the launch of a range of books that are about him. He also released a 15-minute video address promising to be Nigeria’s great unifier, never mind that he’s been struggling to unite his own party.
The candidate of the Labour Party (LP), Peter Obi, flagged off his campaign at a solidarity rally with his supporters in Jos, Plateau State. It was an auspicious day for him too because Bloomberg News released the result of a poll that showed him as the clear favourite to win next year’s election. It’s the third major poll he’s won in weeks, but February is still a long time away.
The candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Bola Tinubu, launched his own campaign with a press statement after he flew to London and cancelled his scheduled campaign event. There has to be something about London that seduces Nigerian presidents and presidential hopefuls and we’d like to know so we can use it to keep them here.
On February 25, 2023, more than 90 million Nigerians will have the opportunity to pick the country’s next president from a pool of 17 men and one woman. The time to pay attention and choose your fighter starts now.
Have You Seen This Video?
Thousands of Kogi State residents have been displaced by floods, but you wouldn't know that from looking at Governor Yahaya Bello's social media activity. pic.twitter.com/9D7AVIKx5K
Nigeria’s national grid collapsed for the seventh time in 2022 this week and sent Nigerians back into familiar darkness. At what point are we taking it to Shiloh for deliverance?
When you’re across the world and five hours behind everyone you love, you quickly learn they can’t always help you through the challenging moments of living in a new city. At least, that’s what I learnt during my first week in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
Between getting confused about how to find the right queue to exit the airport as an immigrant, not knowing when to cross the street and accidentally locking myself outside my room on day three, I’ve had to depend entirely on strangers.
I travelled to Cambridge for my master’s programme. I’d been working on it for three years and finally got a break when I got a scholarship to Harvard in March. Getting a degree from an Ivy League college felt like I’d get a shot at finally working at the United Nations or World Bank. The excitement from my family and friends pacified the idea that I would be alone in a new country in five months. There was no time to focus on that. I needed to prepare for my departure.
The months leading up to leaving were fast. Every single day was a rush trying to meet up with the list of things I needed to pack. Honestly, the most important thing to me was food. Where was I going to find my favourite dried smoked catfish in Cambridge? The city has only 10% of black people in America living there, so I needed to stuff my bags with everything Nigerian — that could fit into two 23 kg luggage.
“They’d ask questions about your trip based on your visa type. But one wrong answer could mean going back to your country.”
How do you fit your entire life into two 23 kg luggage? You can’t. The night before my trip, I watched my mum and her sisters divide everything I owned for my cousins. My favourite clothes, the drawings I’d collected from paint and sip dates with friends and the speaker I tricked my boyfriend into leaving at the house just a month before. It felt slightly depressing.
You may think I’m ungrateful for the opportunity to leave Nigeria, but I couldn’t control feeling sad. The only time I ever left Nigeria before Cambridge was for holidays in Wales as a kid, and now, for the next two years, I’d suddenly be living in a foreign country with no family or friends. Imagine the stress of trying to make new friends as an adult or something as little as trying to figure out how to braid my hair rather than pay someone $200. That fear overshadowed all the hype about Harvard.
The feelings slowly faded away in the departure hall. I guess taking one last selfie with my parents and little brother should have made me feel worse, but somehow, it reminded me of how far we’d come — all the late-night reading for exams while I was working finally made sense. But what really got me was the last text from my mum before my flight took off. “You’re the best part of my dysfunctional relationship,” she said. It was the first time I felt my mum was really proud of me. My mum isn’t the most expressive person, so knowing that made the next 23 hours of transit feel better.
“Only my bags and the huge rosary that once belonged to my grandmother my mum forced into my hand luggage created a semblance of home.”
I’d read articles about immigration officers at the point of entry into the US who try to vet people coming. They’d ask questions about your trip based on your visa type. But one wrong answer could mean going back to your country.
Everything on my documents checked out, but I wouldn’t say I was the most optimistic person.
All my fear came rushing back when I finally landed in Massachusetts. In the departure hall, separate lines are designated for immigrants to access the point of entry. Unlike the Nigerian airports where you see mostly white people on one side, the foreigners were a mix of races. I tried to filter for other Nigerians on my connecting flight from Qatar to Boston, but I couldn’t. A clear sign that I was no longer home.
With my two large bags filled with all the Nigerian snacks and soup spices I took for granted back home, I stood confused. There were airport officials to help, but a dark-haired lady yelling, “Stand on the yellow line if you’re American. Blue line, non-Americans,” didn’t make things easier.
The sensible thing to do was ask for help, but the Nigerian in me wanted to figure it out alone. And that’s a character that doesn’t serve you well in a new country.
I finally made it to the right queue when I spotted a man holding a Ghana-must-go bag on the blue line.
When I got past immigration, the next challenge was figuring out how to get from the airport to the apartment I’d rented in Cambridge over an online renting platform. Luckily, my roommate happened to be in the area when I texted to let him know I’d landed safely.
Again, the Nigerian in me didn’t feel safe getting into the car without taking a picture of the plate number and sending it to everyone I knew back home. But what could they have done if the roommate I got online turned out to be the next Ted Bundy?
Thankfully, the apartment was real. “This is your new home,” my roommate said, as we dragged my bags onto the elevator. I wouldn’t call it home yet, but I can’t deny how pretty the apartment looked. I loved the view of trees from my window. But as I packed my stuff in and settled into my room, I felt empty. Only my bags and the huge rosary that once belonged to my grandmother my mum forced into my hand luggage created a semblance of home. It hurt to realise I was now alone.
I understand the excitement of my friends and family for my trip, this new adventure, but it didn’t take away the reality that I felt like I was starting my life all over again. All my friends and family expected me to be happy. That’s all they talked about leading up to my departure. “Oh, you’re so lucky. Thank God you’re getting out before the elections,” they said. But I’d left my job, all my friends, and I didn’t have any family in Massachusetts. Calling to share that sadness wouldn’t make me feel better, so I focused on unpacking.
“It was silly of me not to clarify what stew meant to my American roommate because I ended up eating the rice with chilli sauce and broccoli.”
I put all my foodstuff in the fridge. Of course, the garri poured in my bag, so I needed to clean it up. I also didn’t have any hangers for my clothes, so I picked out the nightwear I needed for the night and put out clothes I needed for a few days in my closet. Bathing was what really calmed my nerves. I brought my favourite soap, and the smell reminded me of being back in my own bathroom. Not the unfamiliar tub I was in.
The next decision to make was what to eat. My roommate offered me some crackers, cheese and pickles to snack on. I hated the thought of cheese and pickles, but I tried it sha. The pickles were definitely not for me. They were salty and had some weird taste I honestly can’t describe. After one bite, I decided chin-chin was the best way forward.
My roommate was kind enough to offer me dinner. His first suggestion was rice over chicken. I asked if there’d be stew. He said yes.
It was silly of me not to clarify what stew meant to my American roommate because I ended up eating the rice with chilli sauce and broccoli. Surprisingly, the broccoli was the best part. It was crunchy and salty, but the rest needed some salt and pepper to satisfy the Nigerian in me.
“I was happy that someone who’s lived in the city all his life was just as confused with the roads.”
In my first week here, the biggest hurdle was getting around the city. I want to trust Google Maps, but turning around at least three times to figure out the right direction to face gets really annoying. Yet, I’ve decided to figure it out on my own anyway.
I know it’s not unusual to walk up to a random stranger for help in Nigeria. But when I was trying to find my way to class the next day and approached an Asian lady for help, she seemed startled. Maybe it was the way I said, “Sorry, please, excuse me,” before I actually asked my question that confused her. So, I’m a little more cautious now.
After 15 minutes of walking, I eventually figured out I just needed to turn left from the street, and it was pretty easy from there with Google maps. But three days later, I got lost again trying to get to the store. It should be easy navigating the streets with Google maps, but the roads are laid out in a confusing way.
When I ranted to my roommate, he complained about how much he hated driving in Cambridge too. Apparently, the roads were previously horse tracks, so there are many intersections that lead to confusion.
“I blamed myself for moving away and making our relationship so difficult. “
I didn’t understand what all of that meant. I was just happy that someone who’s lived in the city all his life was just as confused with the roads.
If you’re wondering how I got home, just know I spent 20 minutes walking, missed one bus then cried at the bus stop. I eventually gave up and decided to take an Uber. I was upset at the thought of spending $10 on a ride rather than $2 on the bus. The Nigerian in me still converts everything to naira, so please, free me.
When I returned to my apartment, I cried some more and sat on the kitchen floor. I was frustrated with how hard finding my way around would be for the next few weeks. I wanted to call a friend to vent, but it was 1 a.m. in Nigeria.
I still tried calling my boyfriend. He wanted to be physically present, but hearing that was hard. I blamed myself for moving away and making our relationship so difficult. He didn’t think of things that way though. He wanted to comfort me in whatever way he could, so he ordered me some food with Uber eats.
“I miss Lagos conductors “
Sadly, the food never arrived. Turns out my street exists in two places, and I didn’t include the right one in the address I shared. There was no way we could sort things out because it was 11 p.m. on my end. I was getting tired and sleeping seemed like a better option.
I can’t deny that it’s been surreal walking through Harvard for a week. I remember my boss from last year telling me I’d never get in with a second-class degree from UNILAG. Until the moment I submitted my application, I believed him. But I pushed passed the fear and got in.
Now that I’m here, this phase of figuring things out has been overwhelming. I can’t tell you how much I miss Lagos conductors. They were my Google Maps of Lagos, and they actually knew where I needed to go. The little things I really appreciate now. I just hope one day I’ll think about Cambridge as somewhere that feels like home or close enough.
We know everyone’s planning to japa, but why are they really leaving? Is there a sudden urge to go back to school? Are they fed up with the country? Or they always had the plan to leave?
We asked some Nigerians, and here’s what they considered before leaving.
For every move you make, the economy is ready to push back
Richard*
You get to a point where you realise you should be somewhere else. But for every move you make, the economy finds a way to push you back. It’s almost like it’s the Nigerian factor.
And then there are the people as well. Nobody wants to help except they know there’s something in it for them. So I decided to just go for my master’s degree because I’ve saved enough to afford it.
I’ve only been here for a week, but I can tell that things work here, and I’m sure if I have a good project, I’ll see people interested in assisting.
Nigeria is not working, and we know it
Uje
Before I left, I worked in a bank as a contract staff. I could be there for five years without any measurable growth. The system is not working — at least not in the banking industry.
I also wanted to pave the way for my family members, and this is the only way I know how. If things get better, I’m open to returning because there’s no place like home. But now, I’m working my butt off, earning pounds and looking for ways to bring more family members.
The promise of a life devoid of stress
Mide
You get tired of things not working, the odds being against you every time. It’s more of the need to leave Nigeria than the need to go to Canada or the United Kingdom. Anywhere just feels seemingly better.
The bad roads, constant traffic congestion, the power situation, and everything about Nigeria were unbearable. It’s tougher to make certain things happen for yourself in Nigeria than elsewhere.
I just wanted a life devoid of stress. There’s still stress here, tbh. But at least if you pay for something, you get the quality you deserve.
One day you realise that your life isn’t worth much in Nigeria
Vick
I got married in 2020, and my husband was already staying in Canada. But after the October 20, 2020 incident, I didn’t feel safe, so I had to leave the country. I initially wanted to leave to give my kids a better life, but after that, I had to leave so that I could be alive to even have kids.
My kids deserve to have options
Zoe
I’ve always said I wanted to have my kids abroad so they wouldn’t be restricted to just a green passport. And right now, I’m more determined. I haven’t japa yet, but I’m constantly on a search for the countries with the strongest passports cause we know this Nigerian one is nearly useless.
An environment for growth
Tayo
I was working professionally as a social media manager for over four years, but it was getting boring. I wanted a new career path. So I decided to do my master’s degree. Between the ASUU strike in federal universities and the strictness of private ones, I decided to travel.
I would get access to a seamless educational process, and if I ever came back to Nigeria, I’d be of more value with my degree.
Plus, I wanted to meet the queen. Too bad she died a few weeks after I got here. Jk.
At least I’d be paid the equivalent of the hours I worked
Ruth
Even if it’s not “more” money because you still have bills and expenses to pay, at least this time, it’s equivalent to the hours you work. And you don’t have to struggle for something as basic as light because the system actually works!
*Some names have been changed for anonymity, and answers slightly edited for clarity.
Every Independence Day anniversary is a great time to be a Nigerian patriot. It’s a public holiday time to reflect on all the giant strides Nigeria has made in science and technology, power, oil and gas, education, health, security and justice reform, sports, social investment and poverty alleviation.
Nigeria is a land flowing with milk and honey and it deserves to be celebrated for 62 long years of killing it.
As a patriot, here’s a list of things you can do to have a memorable day on October 1st.
Watch Buhari read stuff from a teleprompter
It’s not an Independence Day celebration if the president doesn’t read a boring, pre-recorded speech about the country’s achievements into a camera for Nigerians to watch.
As a patriot, this is the perfect way to start your day because it’s scheduled for 7 a.m. Nothing like a pre-recorded statement from Buhari to kick your patriotic day off to an exciting start.
Sing the national anthem at the top of your voice
When was the last time you sang the national anthem with gusto? The assembly ground in secondary school?
As a patriot, you should be ashamed of yourself if it’s been that long. But don’t be too downcast, because Independence Day is the perfect time to reconnect with your passion.
It’s even more perfect that Buhari’s speech starts and ends with the national anthem. Stand tall and sing the national anthem at the top of your voice. Adele has nothing on you.
Buy some cake
Independence Day is a birthday for the country, which means it’s your second birthday as a patriot, or third birthday if you also live a fake life.
Since the national cake won’t get to you in time, you can get some for yourself. Order a birthday cake from your local baker and binge on it all day in appreciation of a thriving country.
Host an Independence Day party
What’s a celebration without a party? You’re Nigerian after all and every opportunity to throw an owambe party can’t be wasted. Invite your family and friends to a small get-together to eat, drink and talk about how great it is to be Nigerian and how we have the best jollof rice.
Remember not to invite those Nigerians who want to japa and abandon the country because they’re not satisfied with the skyrocketing inflation and unemployment rates.
Flaunt your green-white-green
How else will everyone and their grandparent know you’re a patriot if you don’t show it off? This isn’t the kind of relationship you soft-launch on your Instagram’s “close friends”. The world needs to know you’re committed to this relationship and what better way to do it than to show off your national colours?
Ask everyone in your family to do the same because teamwork makes the dream work.
Grab a history book or two
As a patriot, it’s important to know one or two things about your country. And since the government is denying you close marking with history in schools, it’s important you seek out knowledge about your beloved country. Maybe you can find one or two disgusting genocides and a pattern of behaviour keeping the country from becoming Wakanda inside these books.
You can read one or two books about Nigerian history before your party so you can kill it when the trivia game starts.
Join a political parade
Elections are coming up and political parades are the new assembly grounds for patriots of like-minds to congregate. You can go online to find which one you want to go to and how that helps you and the people around you make the best choice when Nigerians elect a new set of leaders in 2023.
Random acts of kindness
Nigeria is hard just a little bit and as a patriot, you can’t let this be your country’s domineering narrative. Squeeze urgent ₦2k into as many hands as you can afford.
This ceremony is like two lovers having a blood covenant, except there’s no blood involved here and the candidates aren’t really in love with one another. So, what’s this ritual about and why do they commit to it?
A brief backstory
It’s easy to forget these days, but Nigerian elections used to be very violent. Post-election violence used to be as inevitable as Buhari flying to London every year.
…as long as he’s not the one getting the debit alert
For example, the post-election violence of 2011 resulted in the death of more than 800 people after supporters of Muhammadu Buhari, who lost the election, protested that it was rigged. The protests degenerated into ethnoreligious riots in northern states where rioters murdered hundreds of people.
Critics partly blamed Buhari for the escalation of the violence due to his strong position that the southern Christian winner of the election, Goodluck Jonathan, rigged it. And he didn’t learn his lesson because, in 2012, Buhari went ahead to say, “The dog and the baboon would all be soaked in blood” if the 2015 election was rigged too.
Rhetorics like Buhari’s and the general climate of careless conduct by Nigerian politicians formed the building blocks of the National Sensitisaton Workshop on Non-Violence in 2015.
The first peace accord
Ahead of the 2015 general elections, the worried Goodluck Jonathan administration initiated a series of conversations with political stakeholders on peace-building. The goal was to ensure political actors embraced a more civil approach during campaigns for office.
At the National Sensitisaton Workshop on Non-Violence on January 14th 2015, presidential candidates, including Buhari, and their political parties signed a peace accord to behave themselves on the campaign trail. The main promises in the pact were to run issue-based campaigns and not engage in ethnoreligious provocations that could lead to violence. A new ritual was born.
They even got Kofi Annan to attend this thing
Section 3 of the peace accord recommended the creation of a National Peace Committee (NPC) to guarantee the constant promotion of peace. Funded by the United Nations’ Development Programme (UNDP), the NPC launched soon after, on January 25th 2015, and former military head of state, General Abdulsalami Abubakar appointed as its head.
This is what the first peace accord looked like.
2019 presidential candidates signed a similar pact, and 2023 candidates have now done the same. But we noticed a couple of notable things from this year’s ceremony.
Tinubu is missing in action
Since political parties elected their candidates in June, there have been two public events where the major candidates have crossed paths — the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA) conference in August and the latest signing of the peace accord. The candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Bola Tinubu, has ghosted both events and sent his vice presidential candidate, Kashim Shettima, instead.
Nigeria is only just about to be rid of one absentee president but a frontrunner to replace him is already showing signs of following in his footsteps. At least Buhari waited to get into the office before ghosting everyone. Tinubu is already running his campaign remotely and giving fuel to the beer parlour gist that his running mate is the one actually running for president.
Sowore isn’t a man of peace
The 2023 election is Omoyele Sowore’s second attempt contesting for the seat at Aso Rock Villa, but he’s acquired a reputation for being a troublemaker. He didn’t disappoint at the signing of the accord.
Sowore already mentioned in interviews that he wouldn’t allow organisers to treat him like a second-class candidate and he almost caused a stir when he wasn’t allowed to sit in the front row with the most prominent candidates. He also got in a brief war of words with former Abacha henchman, Hamza Al-Mustapha, who’s also running for president.
At the Presidential “Peace Accord” signing in Abuja, I had to challenge Al-Mustapha Abacha henchman and Kashim Shettima who took the position of Presidential candidates because @officialABAT was no where to be found but organisers let him sit in front! pic.twitter.com/kNv4mzUG9S
Sowore went on to sign the peace accord, but we all know what he really is.
Is the peace accord good for Nigeria?
Nigerian elections used to be more violent than they currently are, and politicians were more reckless. Coincidence or not, that recklessness has become more restrained since candidates and parties started signing the NPC’s peace accord in 2015.
“I promise not to call BAT a Yoruba masquerade.”
Signing the peace accord may not completely eliminate the recklessness and violence still gripping Nigerian elections, but the NPC’s effort to establish a reasonable level of civility can’t be said to be a complete waste of time.
The 2023 presidential candidates will sign a second peace accord close to the elections. This second accord is more tailored towards candidates promising to accept the result of a free, fair and credible election.
Hopefully, Tinubu has someone to alert him so he can put it on his calendar. He can’t say it’s his turn to be president and not turn up at these things.
The game of politics has changed. Good luck winning anything if you want to start a political party in Nigeria and you’re not doing these things.
Get a dead name, then a catchy slogan
Your name needs to show that you’re not really here to do anything new. You’re just here for the national cake. Because what kind of name is People’s Alliance for National Redemption? Your name needs to spark zero joy and curiosity when they see it. But you want to be popular so you need to find a catchy slogan. Something that means nothing but gets the people going. Try “awa lo kan” and watch the party blowhttps://inecnigeria.org/political-parties/ up.
Find the worst graphic designer available
Your logo needs to look like the wickedness you’re going to show Nigerians when your party comes to power. That’s why you need to find the worst graphic designer around and make them create their shittiest work for you. Works wonders every time.
Then make sure you hire a badass photographer because your pictures must slap
As I said, the game has changed. Your campaign has left the TV screens and is now happening on social media. Your photographer needs to get all your angles right as you walk to your plane like the Abuja big boy that you are.
Make Aso Ebi with the logo
You need a subtle way of reminding people that you’re now in business. So the next thing to do is to make some clothes with your party logo on it. Give them out to a party loyalists and people in need of new clothes, so they serve as free public relations (PR) for your party.
You need members. So gather a bunch of old men
You want to make sure you’re ignoring all these women when you’re accepting members. Who wants women to be leaders when you can pick a bunch of old men with questionable morals and zero shame?
Have plenty of money and be shameless yourself
After you’ve formed your party, you only need two things: money and shamelessness. Once you have these, the sky is your limit.
Throw shades at the current government
It doesn’t matter that the men you’ve gathered in your party are mostly from the government you’re throwing shades at. You know everyone will just unlook the hypocrisy and focus on the people you’re pointing fingers at.
Win something and become exactly like them
You need to win something big. You don’t want to win an LGA chairman election or State House of Assembly. Nobody remembers those ones. Nigerians like monarchy vibes so you really only have three options: presidency, governorship, and the senate. Once you get to power, turn around and become like the exact kind of people you once pointed fingers at. Congratulations, your work is done.
The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
After living in the UK for three years, this subject on #AbroadLife moved back to Nigeria in 2020. Now, work has taken her back, and she misses her family and Nigerian food.
How long have you been in the UK?
Well, I was here from 2017 to 2020, and then I left and came back beginning of 2022). So, roughly four years.
Why did you go in 2017?
I came to study. I’d completed an undergraduate programme in Nigeria but wanted to study law, so I came here to do another undergraduate programme in law.
Ah, interesting. Why didn’t you just do law in Nigeria in the first place?
I was admitted to study law, but my WAEC government result was withheld, and when it was released, it was too late to enrol in the law programme at my school. They had reached their quota. And because I didn’t want to spend a year at home, I opted to study International relations and diplomacy.
Why didn’t you do law in Nigeria after your first degree?
Law in Nigeria is a five-year course, as opposed to in the UK, which is two years if you have a previous degree. I was able to study law in two years.
What was going to the UK in 2017 like?
It was stressless. My sister told me about a free service the UK government offered. They help you decide what school to go to and process all your applications up until the visa application stage. So that made it easy for me. All I had to do was show up at my biometric appointment when it was time.
Their name is UKEAS. They have offices in Abuja and Lagos. I’m not sure about anywhere else.
Sweet. Expectation vs reality: UK edition
My family used to come to the UK yearly for summers, so the UK wasn’t new to me. However, because I always came as a tourist, I expected that I would have the time to tour the UK and go to places I’d never been to.
I didn’t really do any of that, I spent most of my time in school.
Why?
Two years, no holidays. It was a fast-track course. But I enjoyed the experience. School here was different from studying in Nigeria in the sense that it was a more relaxed environment. Because people from all around the world come to school in the UK, I got acquainted with new cultures, traditions, and different lifestyles.
Why did you stay after school?
My course was from 2017 to 2019, and I stayed the extra year to work. I wanted experience working in the legal sector in England.
Did you?
COVID happened, so I was at home for most of it. Can’t really say I had the experience I was looking for.
What experience were you looking for?
I wanted to attend court sessions and sit under senior lawyers in meetings with clients.
So why then did you return to Nigeria?
I was getting married.
Was your husband-to-be in Nigeria?
He was in Canada, but the wedding was going to hold in Nigeria.
How long had you guys been together?
Six months. But we’d known each other since primary school.
Why then did you move back to the UK?
I got a job earlier in the year, and my husband and I were happy to move.
What’s been your favourite part of the move so far?
Getting to see my friends again and the ease of access to social amenities.
And your least favourite?
Being far away from family and the lack of ease of access to Nigerian food.
Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 9 A.M. (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.
Elections are nothing without voters, just like an owambe without an abundant display of overpriced aso-ebi.
More than 90 million Nigerian voters will have the opportunity to elect Nigeria’s next set of leaders in February and March 2023. What are all the types of voters we expect to see and which one are you?
The recruiting voter
This person is always actively trying to recruit more voters for their preferred candidate before the election.
The fear-fear voter
This one won’t leave their house on election day because they’re afraid of electoral violence in their area.
The veteran voter
This person has been voting since 1999 and is proud to let everyone know they never voted for Buhari the entire time.
The audio voter
This person only has a PVC to use as an identification card and won’t leave their bed on election day except for food.
The party loyalist
This person will vote for anyone their party puts on the ballot from top to bottom even if the candidates are suspected drug dealers, known thieves, bigots or even dogs named Bingo.
The glory hunter
This one will only vote for the candidate they think has the best chance of winning so they can brag at owambes that they put the person in office.
The vote-seller
This voter doesn’t care who becomes the president and is only at the polling unit to make money from vote-buyers. They’re likely to end up in prison because it’s a crime to buy and sell votes.
The reluctant voter
This voter thinks all Nigerian politicians are the same and not worth their vote but feels responsible enough to vote for whoever they think is the least toxic of the candidates.
The procrastinating voter
This voter takes all the time in the world to decide who to vote for and isn’t 100% sure until they have the ballot paper in their hand.
The first-time voter
This one either just reached the voting age of 18 or is a 40-year-old cargo who’s only just accepted the civic responsibility to vote in an election for the first time. Everyone will hear about their first experience and about how they made the best choice.
The waiting-to-japa voter
This voter is giving Nigeria one last chance to elect the leader they think is the right one and is ready to leave the country if they don’t have their way. You can trust them to tweet, “Election has consequences,” from abroad every time the national grid collapses in Nigeria.
The investigative voter
This one wants to know who everyone in their neighbourhood voted for just to start arguments.
The coconut head voter
This voter won’t run home after voting. They’ll stick around to see the votes are counted properly, to avoid stories that touch.
The failed-by-INEC voter
This voter registered but didn’t get their PVC from INEC before the election. They now have to watch from the sidelines as others decide their future for them.
Competition is an undisputed pillar of any democracy, and every four years, Nigerian politicians compete for a limited number of seats.
And just like in most competitions, there are hard and fast rules that apply to elections when politicians apply for political office.
Persuading voters is an essential part of a political campaign and this is how candidates attempt to convince voters to win their votes. In typical Nigerian fashion, electoral candidates make promises to deliver heaven on earth, turn water into wine and remove fuel subsidy.
Candidates also get to push their campaigns through adverts, theme songs and TikTok videos just to connect with the voters. The road to pulling this off is long and exhausting and has an unclear guarantee of success, so Nigerian politicians found a shortcut called vote-buying.
What’s vote-buying?
Vote-buying is an illegal transaction between representatives of a candidate and voters. These representatives show up at polling units on election day and use monetary inducements to secure their votes. Even though the rewards range between a measly ₦5,000 and ₦20,000, vote-buying is effective in Nigeria because agents target the most vulnerable communities in a country with millions of extremely poor people.
Section 121 of the Electoral Act 2022 defines vote-buying as “bribery and conspiracy” which means anyone who directly or indirectly offers to buy votes is guilty. Voters that accept this bribery are also guilty according to the law, and both parties in the transaction are liable to pay a maximum fine of ₦500,000, 12 months imprisonment or both.
The Electoral Act’s definition and much of the vote-buying conversations in Nigeria focus on the buying and selling that inevitably happens on election day. But there are other types of vote-buying that occur before election day that are also quite common without receiving the same level of scrutiny.
Stomach infrastructure
Stomach infrastructure is one of the most prominent building blocks of political campaigns in Nigeria. Candidates try to curry favour with voters by providing them basic food items in exchange for their votes at the polls.
While critics usually consider stomach infrastructure as just another silly thing Nigerian politicians do, it’s vote-buying. Stomach infrastructure is captured by the definition of “bribery and conspiracy” in Section 121 which stipulates that the inducement can happen “before or during an election”.
Providing free services
Nigerian candidates also tend to do things like this:
It’s not text-book vote-buying and the police won’t arrest anyone for it, but it falls within the realm of the definition of “bribery and conspiracy” defined by the Electoral Act 2022.
Any offer of reward designed to alter the electoral behaviour of voters before and during an election is vote-buying. And we’ve seen enough to know Nigerian politicians don’t care.
As 2023 elections campaigns kick off…
On September 28th, 2022, the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) fired the starting gun for candidates to officially start campaigning for the 2023 general elections.
On your mark…
Many things are going to start happening: more campaign drama, more campaign promises and a dash of vote-buying here and there.
As campaigns start, it’s your responsibility to pay attention to the real tangibles that matter for an election and pass that education on to everyone else around you. Allow good ideas to lead, not stomach infrastructure that can land you in prison.
Vote-buying weakens electoral discipline and fosters a culture of the most undeserving sneaking into important public positions. The only way a candidate should be buying your vote is by presenting their best ideas on how they’ll solve problems that are most important to you.
Politicians that buy your vote will compromise your integrity and won’t act for the common good if they win. Say no to vote-buying.
It kinda feels like the migration gates have been thrown open, and folks are jumping on flights like it’s the last bus to Owerri Main Market on a rainy Friday.
If you’re also planning (or just hoping) to leave the country, you should have these in mind.
The passport office is a scam, and airport staff will tax you
Timilehin, 19
My passport expired while I was in secondary school, so I needed to get a new one for university abroad. I got to know from my mum that the passport office had this system where people were divided into two — priority list, and those they don’t give a fuck about.
Luckily, my parents knew someone at the office, so we were bumped up. I know so many people who had to turn down admissions because they couldn’t get their passports. It’s crazy.
Also, please don’t be seen carrying money up and down at the airport. I left in 2021 but was naive and held dollars openly while trying to check in, and all the customs guys were like, “Drop something for us nau.” Guy, I’m literally your child’s age mate.
Be well informed ahead of your flight
Lara, 25
I left Nigeria in 2021, and this was around the time when COVID-19 was still serious-ish. I had gotten a negative test one week before my departure and assumed I was good to go.
Imagine my shock when I got to the airport and learnt the negative test had to be done 48 hours before my flight. To cut the story short, immigration delayed me for a while, and I had to pay (almost double what I paid for my previous test) to get tested again, plus the tips I had to give the airport guys to help me make sure I didn’t miss my flight. I still had to quarantine when I arrived at my destination.
Always ask questions while planning; don’t let the fear of village people make you keep everything to yourself, only to end up spending extra like I did.
Especially if you’re carrying loads of foodstuff and luggage. I moved to the US in 2019 for my master’s degree. Trust Nigerian mothers, my mum loaded me with foodstuffs sufficient to open a mini Walmart in Texas.
Although we correctly labelled everything and packed everything like our folks abroad had advised us to, these immigration guys delayed us by checking every single thing. Thankfully, my mum made sure I arrived the airport four hours before my flight. If not, I would have cried.
If you’re carrying a lot, make sure to make ample time for any kind of delay.
Corruption is very alive
Chichi, 28
I left the country in 2021, and listen, while I’m all for not pushing certain stereotypes, please still hold cash when dealing with immigration.
I had done the whole passport application process myself online. I remember it was ₦17,500, and all I needed to do afterwards was go to a passport office for my interview and other biometrics. It was supposed to be really straightforward.
Spoiler alert, it wasn’t. I had to pay an officer ₦12,000 extra to “release” the passport. That’s not all. On the day I was leaving, the immigration guys at the airport kept asking me to “bless them”. Be ready to drop something small, so you don’t get delayed unnecessarily.
Start processing your passport six months ahead
Imelda, 30
In a sane world, getting your passport shouldn’t take more than two weeks after completing biometrics and other requirements. But when my mum had to visit me in New Jersey around 2021 to help with my newborn, we saw hell. We had foreseen a delay, so we started the process when I was seven months pregnant. It didn’t change anything.
My mum and siblings kept going back and forth the passport office for about five months before the passport was ready. If it wasn’t an issue with finding her details on the system, it was some information suddenly becoming incorrect. We eventually overcame, and she got here when my baby was three months old.
The passport situation may have improved now, but always start the process early.
It’s hard to imagine Nigerian politicians doing anything other than leeching off Nigeria’s treasury for as long as they can.
We know Nigerian politicians want to stay in power forever, but if they had to work a 9-5 job like the rest of us, what would be their defining character traits — based on what we already know about them?
Yahaya Bello
He says things like “Purrr” out loud to sound like a GenZ even though he’s clearly 47, watches NTA and thinks TikTok is a wristwatch brand.
Remi Tinubu
She always arrives the office late and leaves early because she has a rich husband and doesn’t need the job. She tends to say, “Children of nowadays,” much too often.
Ayo Fayose
Even though he’s a 61-year-old grandfather, he’s the office comedian, and interns hide from him because he’s always sending them to buy roadside amala.
Aisha Buhari
No one knows what exactly she does at the company but she makes enough to visit Dubai for vacation every two months.
Femi Fani-Kayode
He’s always sending broadcast messages about the latest conspiracy theories to the office WhatsApp group. Everyone tries to hide their lunch from him because he always wants to take “just two spoons” out of their food.
Ben Ayade
Says words like “braggadoccio” and “sesquipedalian” to sound like the most intelligent person in the room. Also likes to cry in the office restroom when his salary finishes in the middle of the month.
Stella Oduah
She has no time for office gossip and just goes around minding the business that pays her. But she’s also secretly using the company’s Uber account to run her personal bakery business.
Dino Melaye
He spends all his work hours on social media, tweets a lot about how much he hates his 9-5 and takes too many sick days off for his side hustle as an aspiring Nollywood actor.
Lai Mohammed
No one argues with him because he’s been at the company even before the founder. But if he says good morning to you, you know it’s time to go to bed.
Nyesom Wike
He talks too much and he’s the reason why office meetings last three hours.
Agberos have become a huge part of the circle of transport life in Nigeria. They’re hard to miss — you can find them in motor parks, bus stops and highways extorting commercial drivers, tricyclists and motorcyclists.
With street names like Shadow and Poison, they’re not the kind of guys you want to engage in a shouting match because they can do one or two things to your face or your vehicle.
In a state like Lagos, they’ve even gained some legitimacy — uniforms and all — to make transport operators pay them taxes, monies no one knows where they really go. Such illegal revenue generation by agberos has been mainstreamed all over Nigeria and transport operators have been the main victims of their activities.
It’s always, “Where’s your tax?” never, “How’s the family?”
On September 22nd, 2022, some of those transport operators in Anambra State protested against the burden of taxation and exploitation by agberos. The state governor, Charles Soludo, had recently ordered operators to start paying a ₦15,000 monthly tax to the government. But they told him first to get rid of the agberos already charging them tax illegally. They refused to serve Mammon and God at the same time because the economy is hard and sapa is taking hostages.
But only two days before this protest, far away in Abuja, a federal lawmaker was cooking a legislative action against the same villains.
A federal frown
On September 20th, 2022, lawmakers of the National Assembly resumed legislative sittings after two months of what they called “summer break”.
One of the pressing businesses of the resumption day agenda in the House of Representatives was proposed by this guy:
Edun’s motion raised alarm on the unruly behaviour of agberos operating in Nigeria and persuaded the Nigerian government to make efforts to contain the scourge. Because the roads are a major mode of transportation and contribute significantly to Nigeria’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP), the lawmaker believes it must be saved from the grubby hands of agberos.
“Grubby bawo? What’s the meaning?”
Here’s a list of problems he has with them:
1. They harass and extort commercial drivers, tricyclists and motorcyclists.
2. They’re under the influence of alcohol and hard drugs and often resort to violence.
3. The presence of agberos is increasing the cost of transportation for passengers.
4. Some law enforcement officers are either in bed with them or too powerless to stop them.
A call for reform
Edun’s motion expressed worry that the agberos have simply refused to go away despite many government efforts to remove them. It may have something to do with the unemployment rate being at the worst level in Nigerian history, but we’d hate to speculate.
Edun’s motion proposed four resolutions:
1. Governments at all levels must check the lawlessness of agberos on Nigerian roads.
2. Government authorities like the Ministry of Transport must develop methods to remove agberos from highways.
3. Security agencies must arrest and prosecute offending agberos.
4. An ad-hoc House Committee must be set up to investigate the activities of agberos in some states.
Looking at you, Lagos
Will this motion change anything?
The existence of agberos in the Nigerian transport ecosystem has been a controversial subject for decades. No one knows where they fit exactly, but their existence is provocative, especially for the motorists and commuters who are often their victims. They’re generating billions of naira from people struggling to make a legitimate living, but who’s benefitting from it?
Lanre Edun’s motion is a big step in giving the issue the attention it deserves at the highest level of government. But lawmakers stepped down the motion at the plenary because Edun failed to show up on the day his motion appeared on the agenda. We don’t know why a handsomely-paid public servant would fail to show up at work after two months on holiday, but we hope it wasn’t agberos that blocked his path.
Until he shows up to attend to his motion, agberos can continue their reign of terror on the Nigerian transport ecosystem.
Are you a Nigerian who wants to travel even for a short period but can’t seem to find a country where they don’t ask for an arm, a leg and the blood of three virgins before granting you a visa? This article is for you.
With your very valuable green passport, you can go to these countries without too much of a hassle.
Barbados
Yes, Rihanna’s home country. English is the official language here, so you don’t have to worry about barriers in communicating with locals on this Caribbean island. And the beaches here? Pristine. People also say Barbadian food and rum is amazing. Add Barbados to your bucket list.
Rwanda
Rwanda is one of the fastest developing countries in Africa. The central African country is gaining a reputation and becoming one of the most toured countries on the continent. It’s even becoming a destination for Nigerians who want to pursue an education. And it’s visa-free for Nigerians.
Seychelles
If you’re not scared of harassment and privacy violation, the beautiful beaches and wonderful people of Seychelles are calling your name. You can stay for up to 90 days without a visa. That’s three whole months. Definitely something to consider.
Ghana
Even if it’s to go to the city squares in Accra and shout, “Nigerian jollof is the best”, Ghana is a good start for your travel experiences. You can even get to Ghana by bus before someone who lives and works in Lagos gets home from rush hour traffic.
Madagascar
Raise your hands if you didn’t realise Madagascar was a place until many years after watching the animated movie. My hands are up. Madagascar isn’t visa-free, but you can apply online, get a “landing authorisation” and then receive a 90-day visa on arrival. You have to pay big money sha.
Cameroon
Cameroon has beaches, deserts, mountains, rainforests, and savannas. Although it’s considered not-so-safe because of terrorism, tourists still visit the country and have a great time. Also, there’s terrorism in your own country too, so remove the log in your eye.
Fiji
Another beach-y place Nigerians can wake up and go to whenever they like? Why not?
If you’re done with all these places and body is still scratching you to travel, here’s a full list of countries Nigerians can visit visa-free.
This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.
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If the ongoing ASUU strike is a scripted show, this week is the point where all the three armies clash on the open battlefield to settle scores.
Huffing and puffing on one end is ASUU, the titular star of the show fighting for affection. Staring at it with contempt on the other end is the Federal Government, the toxic boss spending its employees’ pension on G-Wagon.
If you take time to look into the distance, you will find Nigerian students groaning in pain as the two armies flex their muscles at each other.
What happens when all three meet in the open field?
Students set the pace for this week’s chaos when the National Association of Nigerian Students (NANS) mobilised members to block the Lagos-Ibadan expressway last week. On Monday, September 19, they stepped it up when they blocked the Lagos International Airport Road and threatened to move the action to the Third Mainland Bridge. The underdogs of the story also promised not to allow political campaigns run smoothly in the country. Their simple demand was for the two agbayas to kiss and make up immediately so they can return to class.
The government didn’t like the disruptions the students caused so it turned its attention to ASUU. While it was having an unsuccessful civil dialogue with ASUU, it was also exploring a nuclear option to get the union back to work — the National Industrial Court (NIC).
The court commenced hearing on Monday after the government filed a case against ASUU to challenge the strike. The government’s main request to the court is to determine if the ASUU strike is legal and if striking lecturers are entitled to salaries while on strike.
On Wednesday, September 21, the industrial court ordered ASUU back to work while the key arguments are resolved. The government, students and their parents are happy with the decision, but ASUU is appealing the judgement.
So we’re asking: What’s the worst possible thing that can happen when you force unhappy workers back to work for a toxic boss?
What Else Happened This Week?
It’s Not The Best Time To Be A Ponmo Lover
Ponmo isn’t the fanciest of the beef class — it doesn’t make the noisemakers’ list but sits quietly without disturbing anyone. It’s even probably nice enough to piss on you if you were on fire. But this week, the Federal Government came for ponmo.
The director-general of the Nigerian Institute of Leather and Science Technology (NILEST), Muhammad Yakubu, is on a crusade to retire ponmo as a culinary option for Nigerians.
As far as we know, ponmo isn’t responsible for why no one’s ever heard of NILEST, but stopping Nigerians from eating the cow skin meat would apparently boost leather production in Nigeria.
To sell his pitch, Yakubu slandered ponmo with the argument that it holds no nutritional value. His proposal may sound like a joke, but he’s already lobbying members of the National Assembly to help him ban ponmo from the dinner table. All for the sake of leather.
It’s certainly a tricky situation for ponmo because this is apparently not just a clout-chasing cry for attention by NILEST.
If this goes to the National Assembly, Nigeria has to decide between ponmo or a thriving leather industry. If you’re a ponmo lover, this is the time to defend its honour.
Have You Seen This Video?
Trigger Warning: Nigerian politicians acting like they care about you when it's election season. pic.twitter.com/D6o6YHC199
Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.
Ehen, one more thing…
Senator Ike Ekweremadu has only been sitting in a UK prison for three months and there’s a lawyer in court back home begging to replace him in the Senate.
It’s true what they say about the mice hosting a feast in the kitchen when the cat’s on vacation, huh?
You know the Niger River — Nigeria is named after it, and it was “discovered” by a random white explorer, not the locals who lived around it for generations.
What you may not know is Nigeria has dozens of other rivers that have some connection to the Niger River or their own distinctions. Actually, there are 74 rivers in this country — if you’re not counting the one that forms our border with the Benin Republic.
But for World Rivers Day, we focused on the ones with weird names and compiled a list just for you.
Escravos River
The Escravos River is located in southern Nigeria, and the origin of its name is a reminder of a dark time in human history. “Escravos” means “slaves” in Portuguese. The river got that name because it was a hot spot for the slave trade between Nigeria and the United States.
Forcados River
Just like Escravos, Forcados sounds like a Harry Potter spell that strikes the victim with diarrhoea. It’s also the name of a river and a small town in Delta State. It’s hard to tell who’s named after who.
The town once had the longest slave wharf in Africa, built by the Portuguese from whom it got its name.
Nun River
The Nun River is a distant cousin of the Forcados River as they’re both formed at the point where the Niger River splits into two. It’s in Rivers State. Why it’s named Nun is anyone’s guess.
…or maybe it’s Nun of our business
Gulbin Ka River
Gulbin Ka sounds like the name of an evil warlord with a funny laugh, who removes the scalps of his enemies.
Don’t let his appearance fool you
But it’s also the name of a river that originates in Zamfara State and runs into the Niger River.
Rima River
Rima sounds like the name of a woman who left her groom at the altar or the fake identity of someone who’s trying to escape the law or both.
“Rima” actually means “White Antelope” in Arabic and is the name of a river in northern Nigeria.
Komadugu Gana River
Komadugu Gana has to be the name of a conqueror like Alexander the Great. But he didn’t make the history books so naming a river in the Chad Basin after himself was his consolation.
Otamiri River
The Otamiri River in Imo State is named after Ota Miri, a local god. He’s believed to own all the water named after him. We wonder who’d win in a water battle between him and Aquaman.
