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  • Do You Miss Buhari?

    Do You Miss Buhari?

    People say your twenties are the best years of your life. But currently, it’s starting to look like, for many Nigerians, our twenties might be filled with groceries, floating berries and discovering new ways to cover Nigeria by foot. 

    It’s been barely two months since the fuel prices more than doubled from N197 to N537 per litre following the fuel subsidy removal on May 29, 2023. And while still trying to adjust to our new economic realities, on June 18, fresh news broke of yet another surge in fuel price to over N600 per litre. 

    According to Chinedu Okoronkwo, the President of the Independent Petroleum Marketers Association of Nigeria (IPMAN), the recent price hike is to help the petrol marketers themselves stay in business. He explained that the subsidy removal adversely affected their business so much that many have been unable to raise enough money to load from depots and the Nigerian National Petroleum Company (NNPC) Limited. 

    It’s alarming that we’re hardly 100 days into this new government, and life’s already unbelievably hard for citizens. It will now cost almost triple the amount it did in May to fill your vehicle’s fuel tank, and due to the current 22.79% inflation rate, food will get even more expensive. 

    And I really hate to have to say this, but it looks like maybe Bubu wasn’t that bad. We know being president was more of a side gig for him, and his real job was touring Europe, but at least we weren’t at risk of having a $1 to N1000 exchange rate. President Tinubu promised us renewed hope, but the only thing that has been renewed is our subscription to another four years of suffering in 4D. 

    What Else Happened This Week?

    Police Arrest Suspected Cultists in Enugu State

    On July 18, 2023, the Enugu State Police Command announced the arrest of 18 members of the Black Axe Confraternity who allegedly had plans to cause trouble during their 7/7 day celebration.  

    Download the Citizen Election Report: Navigating Nigeria’s Political Journey

    The cultists were found in different locations in the state, and along with their arrest, the police recovered one pump action gun, six live ammunition (cartridges), three black berets with the inscription “Black Axe”, one sharp battle axe, three drums, three black-yellow face-caps with “Ezeagu Sub Zone 7 7” inscribed on them, and one yellow scarf. According to DSP Daniel Ndukwe, the spokesperson for the Enugu State Police Command, the suspects will be arraigned in court once investigations are concluded. 

    If you’ve ever wondered what the legal punishment for cultism in Nigeria is, under the Criminal Code Act, anyone found guilty of cult activities or permitting meetings to be held in their residence is liable to a 3-year imprisonment. On the other hand, the Penal Code, which applies to Northern Nigeria, allows for 7-year imprisonment.

    Question of the week

    It’s not news that there has been a recent hike in the tuition fees of federal universities. Do you think this surge will improve Nigeria’s quality of education?

    Video of the week

    @zikokocitizen

    FCCPC & Google is putting loan apps in their place! In this video, we explain how the regulator and tech giant plans to crack down on loan apps that shame borrowers who don’t pay back their loans. Watch, like and share this video #zkkcitizen #zikoko #nigeria #techcabal #politics #loan

    ♬ Scary music horror mystery(1040775) – parts di manta

    Ehen one more thing…

    People change their names for many reasons, such as marriage, career demands, or simply a desire for a new identity. Changing your name in Nigeria is relatively straightforward, but you need to take a few important steps.

    To ensure you don’t miss out on the next edition of Game of Votes, subscribe to the newsletter here.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , ,

  • Tinubu Wants to Tax Pepper Sellers

    Tinubu Wants to Tax Pepper Sellers

    The one thing we might need to get used to quickly with this new administration is the endless billing. 

    Last week, we discussed the newly introduced annual vehicle ownership verification fee, set at ₦1,000. For today, we’ll be looking into the recent partnership between the Federal Inland Revenue Service (FIRS) and the Market Traders Association of Nigeria (MATAN) to collect Value Added Tax (VAT) from traders. 

    On July 3, 2023, the FIRS announced the VAT Direct Initiative to facilitate collecting and remittance taxes from this informal sector using unified systems technology, and traders will also be given identity cards to track their turnover. Nigeria currently has one of the lowest tax collection rates in the world at 10.8%; according to MATAN, there are about 40 million traders across the country, and this tax collection would help improve our tax base. Traders will also benefit from this, as the FIRS plans to work with security agencies to stop the illegal collection of taxes in the markets by thugs and self-appointed tax collectors. 

    Lagos thugs when they hear this

    This is all part of President Bola “T-Baby” Tinubu’s plan to improve our revenue generation and fund more infrastructural and social projects. However, we all know that Nigeria is cursed with a corruption problem. So, once again, it looks like citizens struggling to make ends meet are being asked to make sacrifices with little to no assurance of tangible rewards. 

    What else happened this week?

    Diphtheria Outbreak in Abuja

    On July 3, 2023, Sadiq Abdulrahman, the director of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) Public Health Department, confirmed in a press briefing that the outbreak of diphtheria has already claimed the life of a four-year-old boy. 

    Diphtheria is a deadly bacterial infection that affects the mucous membranes of the nose and throat. It can lead to breathing difficulties, health rhythm problems, heart, kidney, and nervous system damage, and death, especially in children. 

    The recent outbreak in Abuja is said to have spread from Niger state, and so far, there have been eight reported cases. To combat the spread of this bacterial infection, residents are advised to take personal hygiene very seriously and to get vaccinated at any of the 400 vaccine outlets around the FCT. Also, the Public Health Department has started collaborating with states to prevent the further spread of this disease. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    With Elon Musk channelling his inner Lex Luthor, our days on Twitter might be numbered. Is it time for Nigeria’s tech space to create an alternative social media platform? 

    Ehen one more thing…

    The initial six months of 2023 are done and dusted. What should we expect as we step into the second half? Find out here

    To ensure you don’t miss out on the next edition of Game of Votes, subscribe to the newsletter here.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , ,

  • We Have Some Good News From Around Nigeria

    We Have Some Good News From Around Nigeria

    Welcome to the first week of July and the second half of the year! My mid-year resolution is to look at the bright side of all things moving forward; therefore, I won’t be a harbinger of bad news in this edition of Game Votes. Instead, we’ll look at some positive events across Nigeria this week. 

    We had two days of public holidays:

    Last Wednesday and Thursday were the Eid-al-Adha celebrations that gave many of us a much-needed break from capitalism. And one thing that makes this last Salah break special is that it’s the last one we’ll have in a while, as the next national break is in October. So hopefully, you were able to make the most of the Salah break. 

    Seven victims of kidnapping were rescued:

    Sadly, many Nigerians have become desensitised to news like this, but for the families of the victims, this brings an end to their nightmare. On June 27, 2023, the Enugu State Police Command paraded 3 kidnappers notorious for terrorising the area. The police commissioner, represented by DSP Daniel Ndukwe, also revealed that 12 additional suspects responsible for the kidnapping, rape, and murder had also been apprehended. The police command acted on a series of distress calls and tip-offs and rescued seven kidnapped victims. They also recovered 7 firearms, two motor vehicles, one motorcycle, one dagger, and a cash sum of ₦701,000. 

    Download the Citizen Election Report: Navigating Nigeria’s Political Journey

    The electricity tariff hike might not be happening:

    The recent news of a 40% hike in the price of electricity tariffs effective July 1 threw many Nigerians into panic mode, and rightly so. However, on Wednesday, June 28, Mike Faloseyi, a spokesperson for the Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC), confirmed that they have yet to make such a statement. The Abuja and Ikeja Electricity Distribution Companies also recently announced to their customers that the news should be regarded as fake as no approval for an increment was given. 

    17 women were rescued from a baby-making factory:

    On June 25, 2023, some Nigerian Army troops raided a baby-making factory along Adamawa state’s Nigerian/Cameroon border. The soldiers were able to arrest seven operators of this factory, two babies, and 17 women between the ages of 19-21. These women were recruited as minors without the knowledge of their families and used for prostitution and the delivery of babies for sale for the past 3 years. Hopefully, these women will be able to get the help they need, and the perpetrators will be duly punished.

    What Else Happened This Week?

    Implementation of Proof of Vehicle Ownership to Kick Off in July

    I’m going to say what everyone’s thinking—as a country, we might have jumped from frying pan to fire, but I’m sure there’s a bright side to this new development if we look hard enough. 

    On June 27, 2023, the Federal Government Joint Tax Board introduced a Proof of Ownership Certificate (PoC) verification fee of ₦1000 to be paid annually by all motorists. According to Abdulhafiz Toriola, the Permanent Secretary for the Lagos state Ministry of Transportation, the PoC will contain information such as the licence plate number, model and year of manufacture, and the owner’s details. It’ll also show that a vehicle legally belongs to a person or an entity. 

    Toriola further explained that the PoC will help track the real-time status of vehicles on the National Vehicle and Identification Scheme (NVIS) database and work towards the country’s national security and economic development; implementation is expected to begin in Lagos by July. However, this news hasn’t gone well with many Nigerians, who are still struggling to adjust to our new economic reality. Sadly, it’s starting to look like, once again, we’ve elected a government insensitive to the struggles of the everyday Nigerian. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    We’ve recently seen a resurgence of the National Television Authority (NTA) as the government’s mouthpiece. Do you think President Tinubu is responsible for this?

    Ehen one more thing…

    Whisper it quietly, but the FG has secured a new $500m loan from the World Bank. Who will be the beneficiaries of this loan? Find out here. 

    Tolu Omotesho

    , ,

  • I Brought Fela Back from the Dead

    I Brought Fela Back from the Dead

    We’ve all heard stories of how Afrobeat legend Fela Anikulapo Kuti was a major opps to the Nigerian military government. It’s been 26 years since his death, and we can’t expressly say that the country’s state has improved. We’re still recycling the same old leaders, and corruption is still the definition of normal. 

    I’ve often wondered what Fela would say or sing if he were alive to see us today, so I devised a means to talk to him.

    Relax, I don’t have supernatural powers, but everything is possible with tech these days. I found an AI technology that lets you bring historical figures back to life, and here’s how my conversation with Fela went:

    Fela: Hello, my people! It’s a pleasure to talk to you beyond the veil!

    Tolu: Hello, sir. I just want you to know that Nigeria hasn’t gotten better since your passing o

    Fela: Yes, my sister. It’s a shame that things haven’t changed much. But we must remember that change doesn’t come easily.

    Tolu: Speaking of change, do you remember Muhammadu Buhari?

    Fela: Ah yes, I remember him very well. Buhari was a military leader who governed Nigeria during one of its darkest periods. He was responsible for many atrocities and human rights violations. 

    Tolu: Ehm, despite his atrocities, Nigeria voted him as president in 2015, and he ruled us for another 8 years till 2023. 

    Fela: That is truly disappointing. It shows that our struggle for democracy and good governance must be continuous. We must remain vigilant in ensuring those in power are held accountable for their actions.

    Tolu: Well said. Anyways, we have a new president. Guess who?

    Fela: Hmm, I’m not a seer, my sister, but tell me, who is the new president? 

    Tolu: Bola Ahmed Tinubu. Do you remember him?

    Fela: Yes, I do remember him. He was a prominent figure in Nigerian politics during my time and played a significant role in the return to democracy after years of military rule. 

    Tolu: You sound like a Tinubu fan

    Fela: I’m not a fan of any individual politician o. My loyalty lies with the people and their struggle for democracy and social justice. Tinubu’s past contributions to Nigerian politics might be noteworthy, but it’s his present actions that matter the most.

    Tolu: Well, during his inaugural speech, he finally removed fuel subsidy, and the suffering in Nigeria has increased.

    Fela: Ah, the fuel subsidy issue has been contentious for some time. While it may bring short-term economic benefits, it’s important to consider the impacts on common people already struggling with poverty and hardship.

    Tolu: I don’t understand your English. Are you in support of the subsidy removal?

    Fela: No, I’m not. As an activist who always fought for the rights of the people, it’s important that policies put in place by the government better the lives of Nigerians as a whole.

    Download the Citizen Election Report: Navigating Nigeria’s Political Journey

    Tolu: Do you think we should protest?

    Fela: Absolutely. It’s our duty to hold our leaders accountable and fight for our rights.

    Tolu:  You fought many times against police brutality, and we’re still experiencing the same brutality today. How can we stop this?

    Fela: Ah, police brutality is an issue that has plagued our society for a long time. It’s not enough to condemn the actions of these police officers; we must address the root causes in the police system.

    Tolu: Oh, ehen, did you hear that your last son, Seun, slapped a police officer?

    Fela: Ehn? (laughs) My son Seun is a fighter like his father. But violence is never the solution to police brutality or any other societal issue. 

    Tolu: What’s your advice for Nigerian youths today?

    Fela: Never forget your roots, and always stand up for what you believe in. Don’t be afraid to challenge those in power and demand justice for yourself and your fellow citizens. Educate yourself on our issues and work towards solutions that benefit everyone, not a select few. And above all, remember the power of music and art to inspire people to change. As I’ve always said, “Music is a weapon”. 

    If you’re interested in a series like this, where I speak with historical figures, please fill out this very short form. Thank you!

    What else happened this week?

    Civil Servants Suspended For Salary Padding

    Corruption is a major problem in Nigeria that we typically blame our politicians for. However, we shouldn’t turn a blind eye to the amount of dishonesty and fraud present in ordinary citizens as well. On June 12, 2023, news broke of some civil servants from Ministries, Departments and Agencies (MDAs), the Revenue Mobilisation Allocation and Fiscal Commission (RMAFC), and the Office of the Accountant General of the Federation (OAGF) who were suspended and under probe for salary padding.  

    An investigation revealed that an Integrated Personnel Payroll Information System (IPPIS) desk officer in charge of salaries connived with these civil servants to pad their salaries by manipulating the IPPIS system. For instance, a level 7 officer whose salary should be ₦60,000 was receiving over ₦400,000—the salary package of a director. Apparently, this salary padding had been going on for a while before it was finally caught wind of. 

    Currently, steps are being taken to upgrade the IPPIS system, and the culprits will be handed over to the authorities for prosecution. 

    Question of the week

    President Bola Tinubu signed the Student Loan Bill on June 12, 2023. Is this a step in the right direction for the Nigerian education sector? And if you could change one thing about the Bill, what would it be?

    Video of the week

    Ehen one more thing…

    Femi Gbajabiamila, Speaker of the House of Representatives, will be Nigeria’s 7th Chief of Staff. But what happens to his rep seat? Find out here

    To ensure you don’t miss out on the next edition of Game of Votes, subscribe to the newsletter here.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , ,

  • This Country Has Tried to Scam You Thrice

    This Country Has Tried to Scam You Thrice

    Did you know that in the past week, the Minister of Aviation “launched” an airline that many Nigerians, including the House of Representatives, have discovered to be nothing more than a scam? I’m going to give you the full tea on this, and at other times, the government has tried to play a smart one on us. 

    If you recall, in July 2018, the federal government launched a national airline, Nigerian Air, which was to serve as the second national airline after the collapse of Nigerian Airways in 2003. But unfortunately, the whole thing turned out to be audio, as the only thing we saw was the logo of Nigerian Air and random pictures; no one ever saw an actual aircraft.

    However, it looked like the wait was finally ending when, on May 27, 2023, the Minister of Aviation, Hadi Sirika, unveiled a Boeing 737-800 aircraft at the Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport in Abuja. He also claimed it’d begin international and local flight operations before Monday, June 5. On a norms, this would be cause for celebration, but as you very well know, things don’t work normally here. A few hours later, news reports started pouring in that the unveiled aircraft was already over ten years old and actually belonged to Ethiopia Airlines. The plane was simply painted and presented to Nigerians as an aircraft belonging to Nigeria Air. 

    A committee of the House of Representatives on Aviation carried out an investigation, revealing that the aircraft was chartered from Ethiopia and landed the day before. So far, the House has declared the entire launch of the national airline a fraud and has begun probing those involved. But like I said, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen this kind of situation. 

    In August 2022, the Nigeria Social Insurance Trust Fund (NSITF) management was asked by the Senate Public Accounts Committee (SPAC) to account for how ₦17.158 billion was spent. However, the NSITF couldn’t give a satisfactory explanation and claimed that the documents containing details of the expenditure were kept by the past management and had been beaten by rain and eaten by termites. And, of course, no one was ever penalised for this. 

    Do you remember the story of the money-heist snake? In 2018, a sales clerk at the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB), Makurdi, Benue state, couldn’t account for ₦36 million made from the sales of JAMB scratch cards. She instead claimed that her household had spiritually stolen the money from JAMB’s vault with the help of a mysterious snake. At this point, we can say that Nigeria is fighting against power, principalities, and the animal kingdom. 

    A sad theme around stories like this is that they usually get swept under the rug. Nonetheless, we’re going to keep an eye out to see how the Nigeria Air story unfolds, and hopefully the perpetrators are justly punished. 

    What else happened this week?

    Edo State Government Adopts Hybrid Work

    Many Nigerians haven’t found adjusting to the recent fuel subsidy removal easy. But, the Edo state government is putting measures in place to make life a little easier for its people. 

    On June 6, 2023, in a statement, the Special Adviser to the state governor on Media Projects, Obaseki, announced that the government had reduced the number of work days civil and public servants would have to commute to the office to three and encouraged them to work from home twice a week until further notice. 

    Want to know Nigeria’s political history since 1999? Sign up here.

    He also stated that steps had been taken to increase the state’s minimum wage from ₦30,000 to ₦40,000. Obaseki also announced that efforts were already being taken to improve the power supply to homes and the availability of fibre optic cables to aid remote work and reduce the cost of transportation. 

    Question of the week

    Do you know “tapping” electricity and metre bypass is a theft that can earn you jail time in Nigeria? 

    Video of the week

    Ehen one more thing…

    George Akume has been officially sworn in as the new Secretary to the Government of the Federation. Who is he, and what does his job entail? Find the answer here. 

    To ensure you don’t miss out on the next edition of Game of Votes, subscribe to the newsletter here.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , ,

  • Welcome to A New Dispensation

    Welcome to A New Dispensation

    On May 29, 2023, a kingmaker finally became king as Bola Ahmed Tinubu was inaugurated as Nigeria’s 16th president. However, it’s been barely six days since the grand commander of the BAT army has been in power, and we don dey see different levels of shege.

    Let’s look at some key things that happened in Tinubu’s first week as Nigeria’s president.

    Bye-bye to fuel subsidy

    During Tinubu’s inaugural speech, he announced the removal of fuel subsidy, and this has caused nationwide panic as the price of fuel and transportation has doubled, queues are gradually returning to filling stations across the country, and many Nigerians are discovering that trekking has many health benefits.

    You and I know that the problem isn’t in the fuel subsidy removal, because it would have happened sooner or later, but in how the announcement was made. Tinubu went off-script by proclaiming that the fuel subsidy was gone instead of stating it would be “phased out”. Also, no provisions have been implemented to cushion the effects of the subsidy removal. This is leading Nigerians to expect the worst from his administration.

    We have a new Chief of Staff

    On June 2, Femi Gbajabiamila, the outgoing Speaker of the House of Representatives, was announced as the new Chief of Staff to the President.

    Nigeria’s dollar bonds surged

    Tinubu’s fuel subsidy announcement has a bright side — it caused Nigeria’s dollar bonds to gain value. Bonds are like IOUs or promises. When Nigeria needs money, it can issue bonds to borrow money from people or investors. These bonds are in dollars. Now, why is the surge a good thing?

    When the bonds rise in value, more people are interested in buying them. This shows that investors have confidence in Nigeria and believe it will repay the borrowed money. It also means that Nigeria can borrow money at better terms, helping the country’s economy and government finances in the long run. Although we lowkey don’t want the new government accumulating more debt, we’re yet to recover from the one Buhari put us in.

    Tinubu’s baddie doesn’t belong in the other room

    One thing we won’t miss about former President Bubu is how he always served us international disgrace. We’ll never forget his “My wife belongs to my kitchen, living room and my other room” speech. But it looks like Tinubu is more open-minded about gender roles.

    On June 1, pictures of his wife, our First Lady, Oluremi Tinubu, sitting in on a meeting between the President, vice-president Kashim Shettima, CBN governor Emefiele Godwin, and group chief executive officer of Nigerian National Petroleum Company Limited (NNPCL), Mele Kyari, at the Presidential Villa, Abuja, emerged on the internet. We can at least give Tinubu points for being progressive by being present with his wife in an economic meeting.  

    While things aren’t starting off on a high note with the new government, hopefully they will pull a miracle that shocks all their haters.

    What else happened this week?

    The Nigerian Customs Service Embraces Technology

    If you’ve ever been to a federal agency, you’ll first realise how tedious many processes are because they failed to modernise their system of operation. 

    If you no tell us, how we go know? Tell us here.

    Thankfully, this is going to change soon, particularly for the Nigerian Customs Service (NCS), as on June 2, the Comptroller-General of the NCS, Col. Hammed Ali (rtd), inaugurated a $3.2 billion modernization project to end manual operations. This project is geared towards fully automating the NCS, improving transparency and effectiveness, and eliminating corruption. 

    The project is expected to last over 20 years and generate over $200 billion in revenue. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    The recent increase in fuel prices has caused a hike in the price of transportation. How do you plan to move around this period? 

    Ehen one more thing…

    A prince from Ile-Ife faces death by hanging for the murder of an OAU master’s student. Find out the events leading up to this case here.

    To ensure you don’t miss out on the next edition of Game of Votes, subscribe to the newsletter here.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , ,

  • Tinubu or Ajala the Traveller?

    In an alternate universe free from the claws of capitalism, I’d be a traveller. This would mean freedom from sapa and to achieve this, I plan to become the President of Nigeria because it looks like being a tourist is part of the job description. When President Bubu first got into office in 2015, he made many head-turning promises that he has found challenging to fulfil. One of these promises was to end medical tourism and as we all know, he failed.

    As with the common phrase, “All men do is lie,” Bubu was no different. He too dey lie. Bubu has spent more than half a year going abroad at different points for medical treatments; even more, he’s currently in London for a dentist appointment. 

    During the 2023 general elections, many Nigerians hoped to finally get a president that wouldn’t ghost us for medical excursions overseas, but it looks like there’s something about the Aso Villa that turns you into an Ajala the traveller—globe trotting often for medical purposes.

    On March 21, 2023, the press learned about the news that Nigeria’s president-elect, Bola Tinubu, was travelling to Europe for medical care. However, Tinubu’s campaign and media aides debunked the rumours, claiming he went to rest from the election activities, which, to be fair, is understandable. Tinubu finally returned to Nigeria on April 24, and barely three weeks later, it’s in the news again that he has packed his bags to continue his exploration of Europe. The reason this time is that the journey abroad is a “working trip” to meet investors and prepare for the inauguration on May 29.

    My issue in all of this isn’t about Tinubu’s possible interest in being a tourist but rather how his administration might be eerily similar to Buhari’s. Nigerians already have enough PTSD from Buhari ghosting the country for months, without us hearing from the Presidency, and the last thing we want is for affliction rising the second time.. 

    What else happened this week?

    Two Dead After Wedding Ceremony in Kano

    On May 11, news broke that two people were confirmed dead and eight were hospitalised after drinking tea at a wedding ceremony in Sheka, Kumbotso Local Government Area, Kano State. 

    The tea is being reported to have been prepared with a local leaf called Zakami and a combination of other drugs. Thankfully, the hospitalised victims were effectively treated and discharged to go about their day-to-day activities. 

    The spokesperson of the Kano State police command, SP Abdullahi Haruna, says that although no formal report was made to the police station, an inquiry will be made into the accident. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    On May 22, the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) will mark its 50th anniversary. Do you think it’s time for the programme to be scrapped?

    Ehen one more thing…

    Nigerians face several challenges every second of the day, from lack of stable electricity to traffic congestion, or “go slow,” as they call it. But have you ever wondered how the term “go slow” came to represent traffic congestion? We have the answer here.

    To ensure you don’t miss out on the next edition of Game of Votes, subscribe to the newsletter here.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , ,

  • This Nigerian Law Punishes Men for Their Wife’s Crimes

    This Nigerian Law Punishes Men for Their Wife’s Crimes

    Did you know that you are entitled to compensation if someone serves you breakfast? Let’s look at these five weird Nigerian Laws that many people are unaware of. 

    Marriage can help you get away with a crime

    This might sound like zobo but walk with me. As we all know, many religions preach the message of the husband being the head of the wife. And this has sadly been used to excuse discrimination and abuse against women, but did you know you can also use this to get away with some crimes? 

    According to the Section 33 of the Criminal Code Act of the Nigerian constitution, a woman in Christian marriage isn’t criminally responsible for any crime she’s compelled to do by her husband in his presence? The only exception to this is if the offence committed is punishable by death, causes grievous harm or has the intention to cause grievous harm to another person. 

    You can be punished for serving breakfast

    A song goes, “Na everybody go chop breakfast”, but you can suffer from a broken heart and make money from it at the same time.

    According to the Matrimonial Causes Act, 1990, if there’s an agreement to marry, and your partner decides to break off the relationship, you can sue for “Breach of promise to marry”. There are, however, two conditions to this; first, you must present proof that there was a promise of marriage, and next, evidence must be provided that your partner failed to fulfil that promise.

    Witches belong in prison

    Despite what Nollywood would have us believe, witchcraft isn’t welcome with open arms in Nigeria. According to the Section 210 of the Criminal Code Act, anyone found by actions or statements to have the power of witchcraft is guilty of a misdemeanour and liable to two years in prison. 

    You can be flogged by the court

    According to the Section 18 of the Criminal Code Act, if a boy under 17 is found guilty of an offence, the court, at its discretion, can order for him to be flogged in addition or substitution to any other punishment.

    You can kind of get away with murder

    I’m not quite sure why this Law exists given the loopholes it has. But according to Section 314 of the Criminal Code Act, a person won’t be considered to have killed another if the death of the other person doesn’t happen within one year and a day of the cause of death. 

    An instance of this would be if you were to hit someone with your car, and the person dies due to complications after 366 days from the accident. 

    Hopefully, you put this information to good use, and it serves you one way or the other…

    What Else Happened This Week

    JAMB Reschedules UTME Examinations

    For many of us, our earliest memories of shege started with the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME), popularly known as JAMB. It looks like things aren’t close to changing anytime soon. Tuesday, April 25, 2023, marked the first day of the UTME; it was riddled with technical issues. 

    Out of the 708 examination centres, about 100 could not hold exams due to the technical challenges. This, of course, left many parents and candidates frustrated as they cursed the system.  

    The board in charge of the UTME, i.e. the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB), has released a statement saying their technical team is on top of the issue, and all affected candidates will be rescheduled. It’s 2023, and it’s unfortunate JAMB still has the same problems it did a decade ago. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    On April 26, 2023, Multichoice announced its plans to increase DSTV and GOTV package prices by 17%. The National Association of Nigerian Students (NANS) has given Multichoice seven days to reverse this price hike. Do you think Multichoice will rescind its decision?

    Ehen one more thing…

    The federal government has implemented a 40% increase in the salaries of some civil servants. Medical practitioners, non-teaching university workers and the police were excluded from this benefit. Find out why here.

    To ensure you don’t miss out on the next edition of Game of Votes, subscribe to the newsletter here.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , ,

  • The Nigerian Police Isn’t Your Friend

    The Nigerian Police Isn’t Your Friend

    I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, a nationwide therapy session should be held for Nigerians because we’ve sadly become desensitised to many issues. Mass kidnappings now barely make news headlines; no one cares that a politician on murder charges won an election, and police officers and government officials brutalising security agents is simply another day at the office. 

    On Monday, April 17, 2023, the security agents and residents of Omole Estate Phase 2 saw the kind of crazy they weren’t prepared for. According to the estate’s laws, visitors in private or unbranded vehicles aren’t allowed in without producing a proper means of identification. 

    However, when officials of the Lagos State Building Control Agency (LASBCA) who pulled up in a private vehicle were asked to identify themselves, they ignored the security guards and tried to force their way through. Annoyed at being stopped, one official stepped down from the vehicle and assaulted the guards. And before they could even grasp what was happening, touts came from nowhere. They started beating up the estate’s security agents. 

    At this point, there was panic and chaos everywhere. When armed police officers finally arrived at the scene in a coaster bus and Hilux van, you’d think they’d try to defuse the situation or at least protect the security guards from being harassed, but we all know the Nigerian police is built different. They instead threatened to shoot the guards and tried to force one of them into the coaster bus. 

    The police and the touts eventually took over the estate and prevented people from going in or out of it. 

    You’d expect that this behaviour would be condemned by the government or the Police Force, but nothing has been said so far because human rights abuse in Nigeria is now, unfortunately, the norm. But, one lesson that can be learnt from this is if you’re ever in trouble, you have more chances of being saved by your village people than you do with the Nigerian police.

    What Else Happened this Week?

    Woman Sells Her Baby to Offset Bank Loan

    Debt is a trap that many Nigerians are falling into with the number of microfinance banks and loan apps available now. People do many crazy things to escape the shame and embarrassment of defaulting on a payment, but things are getting out of hand.

    On April 17, 2023, a complaint was lodged at the Ogun State Police Command by Nureni Rasaq, who reported that his wife left home with their 18-month-old baby to Lagos on March 15, 2023, but she returned without the baby. 

    The woman was arrested, and on interrogation, she confessed that she went to Lagos to raise enough money to pay her debt to a microfinance bank. While hawking on a certain day, she met a man who offered to buy her baby for the sum of ₦600,000 and she agreed.

    Investigations to recover the baby are underway, and the woman will be transferred to the State Criminal Investigation Department for further questioning. 

    Video of the Week

    Question of the week

    Traditional worshippers are demanding that the federal government declares August 20 as a public holiday for them. Do you think the federal government will agree to this?

    Ehen one more thing…

    Have you ever heard of the Ekumeku War? It’s a story of how Igbo vigilantes resisted Britain for 31 years. Learn more about this Nigerian history here.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , ,

  • Unlike in Gangs of Lagos, Eyo Masquerade Doesn’t Like Violence

    Unlike in Gangs of Lagos, Eyo Masquerade Doesn’t Like Violence

    We’ve been noticing a trend in Nollywood where it seems like the darkest political secrets of Lagos are being brought to light. In the Netflix series, Shantytown, we saw an influential politician in charge of prostitution rings, thugs and drug trafficking; frighteningly similar to the Commander-in-Chief of the agbado army. 

    On April 7, 2023, a movie titled Gangs of Lagos was released that gave insight into how thugs in Isale-Eko, Lagos, are used during Nigerian elections. However, there has been outrage from the Lagos state government recently over a scene that portrayed the Eyo masquerade as a villain. 

    The Isale Eko Descendants Union released a statement on April 12, 2023, saying the movie defamed Isale Eko and the Eyo masquerade. On the same day, the Lagos state government called the film a total abomination derogating Yoruba culture. 

    What’s amusing is that the Lagos state government is paying more attention to the “misinterpretation” of the Eyo masquerade than violence during elections which was the movie’s focal point. 

    Is the government intentionally turning a blind eye to the message Gangs of Lagos tried to pass, or is the outrage from them performative because Nollywood is hitting too close to home this time? 

    What else happened this week? 

    NUPENG Raises Red Flag Over Fuel Subsidy Removal

    When it comes to Nigeria, problem no dey finish. On January 5, 2023, the Minister of Finance, Budget, and National Planning reminded us again that by mid-2023, the federal government would  cease fuel subsidies. This means we’ll pay up to three times more than the current fuel price.

    However, the Nigeria Union of Petroleum and Natural Gas Workers (NUPENG) is warning the federal government that it may be over its head as our local refineries still aren’t operating fully. As a result, the removal of fuel subsidy might have negative economic impacts on Nigerians that the government is unprepared for. 

    Hopefully, the government will work towards this and put the right structures in place to ensure that when fuel subsidies are finally removed, we won’t be plunged into multidimensional suffering. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    Nigeria’s president-elect, Bola Ahmed Tinubu, was listed on the Times 100 most influential list of 2023. On a scale of “this is a win for Nigeria” to “everyone is on drugs”; what do you think about this?

    Ehen one more thing…

    There was an unfortunate accident on April 13, 2023, where a seven-story building collapsed in Banana Island, Lagos. Here’s everything to know about the tragedy.

    Game of Votes solely aims to break down and pique your interest in politics, policies and governance. How have we done so far? Please give your feedback by filling out this form. Thank youuu!

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , ,

  • No Be Juju Be This?

    No Be Juju Be This?

    Juju–fetish–is something many of us don’t believe in. After all, if it were as real and effective as some claim, then many politicians wouldn’t end up with generational commonwealth, nor would police officers go scot-free for their many crimes.

    But be it as it may, a community in Enugu have lost faith in Nigeria’s judicial system and resorted to getting justice the traditional way: by invoking ancestral spirits.  

    On February 22, 2023, three days before the 2023 National Assembly elections, the Labour Party Candidate for the Enugu East senatorial district, Oyibo Chukwu, was assassinated on his way from a campaign. Although he was replaced by his younger brother, Kelvin Chukwu, who won the election, the community leaders are still displeased with the killing.

    And to make matters worse, barely anyone in power, including Enugu’s state governor, Ifeanyi Ugwuanyi, has come out to condemn the act. Also, police and security agencies have refused to ascribe the death of Oyibo to politics; they’ve instead attributed the killing to the separatist group, The Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB). 

    But, the deceased’s family insists that the killing was politically motivated, and to get justice, on April 4, 2023, community members and leaders gathered at the town’s square by 9 a.m. They “invoked the spirits of their forefathers and ancestral gods” and rained curses on those behind the assassination, the sponsors and their immediate families. 

    We’ll see if this becomes a rare case where juju or karma actually punishes criminals so a grieving family can get closure. And hopefully, Nigeria will become a country that values human lives, and families won’t need to rely on supernatural methods to get justice. 

    What Else Happened this Week?

    Soyinka Places $1000 Bounty on Misinformation Peddlars

    In the months leading to the 2023 general elections and after, misformation is an enemy everyone has had to fight. 

    During an interview with Arise TV on April 5, 2023, the Nobel Laureate, Professor Wole Soyinka, lamented that recently, some news media have been spreading fake news about him. And wanting nothing to stain his white, he has given a $1000 reward to anyone who can successfully point him to the author. 

    We must understand that misinformation and propaganda can cause violent extremism, fear, and anxiety and create unnecessary panic in society. And these are things we don’t need as Nigerians right now. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    The Federal government has plans to create a portal for older persons to find jobs after retirement. What are your thoughts on this?

    Ehen one more thing…

    Ex-editor-in-chief of Zikoko, Fu’ad Lawal, has launched Archivi.ng with a mission to make a digital repository of 500,000 pages of Nigerian history from January 1, 1960, to December 31, 2010. Here’s why this is important.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , , , ,

  • Special Privileges Only APC Supporters Can Enjoy

    Special Privileges Only APC Supporters Can Enjoy

    It’s been two weeks since the results of the governorship elections on March 18, 2023, were announced. With it, we finally said goodbye to the election season, and now we can focus on surviving the consequences of our actions. 

    However, do you know that if you’re a supporter of the ruling party, the All Progressives Congress (APC), you’ve automatically subscribed to a shege-free experience in Nigeria for the next four years? 

    Allow me to walk you through some of the benefits you’re entitled to as an APC supporter:

    The police can’t touch you

    It’s not news that Nigerians are often victims of police brutality; after all, it was the reason behind the #EndSars protests in 2020. But, I have great news if you belong to the “E mi lokan” brigade. 

    To be completely free from police wahala for the next four years, you only need to tell the Police that you serve in the Jagaban Army, and they’ll let you go based on esprit de corps. 

    And if you’re not courageous enough for that, quote Portable and say: “I’m a Federal Government liability, I work for the APC, and we own Nigeria”. The police will apologise and send you on your way with kisses and hugs.

    Your properties receive double protection

    On March 28, 2023, the APC National Youth Leader, and Chief of Army Staff of the Jagaban Army, Dayo Israel, shared a picture of his vandalised vehicle in Maitama, Abuja, on his Twitter page. 

    And it’s shocking that despite his position, he doesn’t know that there’s a standard protocol to prevent things like this from happening to APC supporters. All you have to do is follow Sanwo-Olu’s advice – wind up your car windows properly, and voila! Your car immediately becomes invisible to criminals. 

    And besides, everyone knows these things don’t happen in Maitama.

    You get discounts on bus fares

    In February, the Lagos state governor, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, slashed the price of bus fares for all state-owned buses by 50 per cent. Although he claimed it was to reduce the hardship caused by fuel and money scarcity, it won’t be far-fetched to think this was to help him in his re-election bid. But now the elections are over, and he got a second term in office, so we’re returning to the status quo.  

    On March 28, 2023, the Lagos Metropolitan Area Transport Authority (LAMATA) released ‘PUBLIC NOTICE’ that bus fares will return to 100 per cent effective April 1, 2023. But again, like I already said, this shouldn’t concern you if you support APC. With your membership card, you can get 50% off all trips.

    I find it amusing how every election, people forget the amount of suffering they went through under an administration. Instead, they’d rather lose their conscience and relationships to help a ruling party keep power. At this point, a nationwide therapy session should be held for Nigerians. 

    What else happened this week?

    Youths Appeal to ECOWAS over Election Results

    The 2023 elections can be summed up with one word: Controversial. 

    While some people have begun to move on from their disappointment towards the elections, a group of Nigerian youths, under the Free Nigeria Movement, stormed the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) headquarters on March 28, 2023. They peacefully protested the conduct of the elections by the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) and the results.

    They handed their protest letter to the director of Administration and General Services for ECOWAS, who promised to take appropriate action. It’ll be interesting to see the following line of action the regional body takes, if any is taken at all. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    On March 14, 2023, the CBN released a directive stating in compliance with the Supreme Court rule, the old banknotes will remain the legal tender until December 31, 2023. So far, has this helped with the naira scarcity problem? 

    Ehen one more thing…

    The general census is expected to be conducted by the National Population Census (NPC) from May 3 to 5, 2023. Find out how much this exercise is supposed to cost here.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , ,

  • Racism is Everywhere. Even in Nigeria

    Racism is Everywhere. Even in Nigeria

    I’ve always believed that many Nigerian scriptwriters aren’t aware they are sitting on a plot goldmine enough for a dozen seasons of TV. 

    This month, we’ve seen people tear their Nigerian passports and politicians electing themselves into power using voter intimidation and violence— we also learnt that people born in inter-tribal marriages are considered to have ‘tainted blood’. But, the icing on the cake is that some Nigerians are taking sides with a racist against fellow citizens. 

    Racism Nigeria Nasarawa elections

    On March 22, 2023, in a Sapele community in Delta state, a group of youths came out to protest the removal of the Board of Directors of the oil and gas company Seplat Energy PLC. 

    The gist here’s that on March 3, 2023, the Federal Government (FG) and the Ministry of Interior withdrew the work and resident permit of Seplat’s CEO, Roger Brown. This was due to a petition filed against him by the workers over allegations of racism, bullying, discrimination, sacking and retiring of Nigerian workers without due process and favouring foreign workers. An instance was when he refused to promote a qualified Nigerian, Emeka Onwuka, to the Chief Financial Officer (CFO) position. Instead, he hired a fellow Irishman, Mr Alaisdair Mackenzie. 

    Before FG revoked his resident and work permits, Brown received several invitations to address these allegations, but he snubbed them. 

    The Board of Directors, led by Basil Omiyi, has refused to remove Brown from his position as CEO. They, instead, have passed a vote of confidence and accused the media of trying to spread false information. 

    Sadly, it’s 2023, and Nigerians don’t have to japa to experience racism. 

    What else happened this week?

    Women Go Topless to Protest Election Results

    So far, there have been mixed reactions to the results of the gubernatorial elections held on March 18, 2023. In Abia state, there have been celebrations over the victory of the Labour Party candidate, Alex Otti, but the same cannot be said for Nasarawa.

    Racism Nigeria Nasarawa elections

    Abdullahi Sule of the All Progressives Congress (APC) won his re-election bid as governor of Nasarawa. But the women in the state are rejecting this result, accusing him of rigging himself for a second term. On March 23, 2023, they took to the streets topless to express their anger with songs and placards telling INEC to let their votes count as they don’t want Governor Sule, but instead the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) candidate David Ombugadu. 

    In all this, it’s almost funny how despite having four years to prepare for elections, INEC still somehow manages to lose even more credibility every election season. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the Week

    Do you know when your state will hold Local Government elections?

    Ehen one more thing…

    Former Deputy Senate President Ike Ekweramadu and his wife, Beatrice, have been found guilty of organ trafficking charges. Here’s everything that led up to this case.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , ,

  • Uncle Biden, Why Haven’t You Called Tinubu?

    Uncle Biden, Why Haven’t You Called Tinubu?

    You might hate me for this, but Nigeria’s president-elect, Bola Ahmed Tinubu, gives off main character energy. 

    He has faced and defeated many opps to win on February 25: angry Gen-Zs on social media, nosy journalists who wanted to know his wealth’s source, and disloyalty from members of his camp. 

    While he was his biggest opp, he has taught many of us that it doesn’t matter if you make public gaffes or have an endless list of controversies; there will still be people who believe in you enough to give you the highest political seat in the country. 

    If we were in a movie, Tinubu’s presidential win would be his “happily ever after”, but things are playing out quite differently in the real world as it seems some Nigerians and world leaders are not acknowledging his success the way he wants. 

    It’s customary for current world leaders to welcome new leaders into their fold. So far, President Emmanuel Macron of France, Rishi Sunak, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, and President Julius Bio of Sierra Leone, among others, have congratulated Tinubu. 

    But, there’s unrest in Tinubu’s camp because  the United States President, Joe Biden, is yet to call or send a message congratulating the president-elect. Although the US Department of State Spokesperson, Ned Price, sent his congratulations while also pointing out the need for a better electoral process, the agitations in the All Progressives Congress (APC) camp remains because it’s deemed customary for America’s allies to be officially congratulated by the President. 

    The APC’s Presidential Campaign Council (PCC) are demanding that Joe Biden call Tinubu, especially given the long-standing relationship between the two countries. Former lawmaker, Shehu Sani, has also advised the American President to at least send a WhatsApp message to the president-elect. 

    It’s getting amusing how after the hustle Tinubu put into winning at the polls, he now has to struggle with a lack of acknowledgement from world leaders. Someone said, “Tinubu campaigned for votes. He’s also campaigning for congratulations”

    What else happened this week?

    Tinubu president-elect Joe Biden

    Uber driver gets ₦5 million compensation

    If you remember, during the first anniversary of the #EndSars protest, there was a viral video of police officers assaulting an Uber driver. 

    The driver, Mr Clement, was going to drop off a passenger from Lagos island to the mainland when he encountered a protest at the toll gate disrupted by the police. Teargas canisters were being thrown to disperse the crowd, and Clement abandoned his car on the street, running for his life. When he returned to pick up his car, he was accosted and maltreated by the police, who tried to force him into a Black Maria. 

    Tinubu president-elect Joe Biden

    Luckily, people were around while this happened, and they made a video of this incident. There was public outrage over what happened, but it didn’t end there this time. A human-rights lawyer, Mr Inibehe Effiong, took up the case and sued the Nigerian Police, the Lagos State Neighbourhood Safety Agency, the Attorney General of Lagos, and the Lagos State Government. 

    And thankfully, this is one of the few times where legal steps worked. On March 14, 2023, the court ruled in favour of the victim and awarded him the sum of ₦5 million in damages for violating his rights to dignity. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    The Minister of Sports and Youth Development, Sunday Dare, has revealed that the federal government is considering increasing youth corp members’ allowances to celebrate the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) at 50. What should the new NYSC allowance be? 

    Ehen one more thing…

    On March 13, 2023, the CBN finally approved using old banknotes until December 31, 2023. But do you remember the reason behind the old notes leaving in the first place? Here’s why

    Tolu Omotesho

  • Hide Your Dogs From The Nigerian Police

    Hide Your Dogs From The Nigerian Police

    I would describe the presidential elections of February 25, 2023, as an experience. While some supporters of opposition parties are still waiting for INEC to say they somehow declared the wrong winner, other people have started preparing for the March 18 gubernatorial elections like they’re marching into war. 

    These people wouldn’t be entirely wrong, as many were victims of voter disenfranchisement and electoral violence in the last elections. So, to ensure that this doesn’t repeat itself on March 18, some Nigerians have decided to tap into their creative side by wanting to bring dogs and other pets to the polling units to scare thugs who might want to disrupt the elections.  

    Polling units around Nigeria were going to be filled with the scariest and toughest lineup of pets in the country, but unfortunately, the Nigerian Police Force (NPF) has once again decided to rain on our parade. 

    On March 7, 2023, the NPF released a statement saying Section 126(1) of the Electoral Act classifies dogs as offensive weapons that can be used to cause harassment and intimidation by their owners. Therefore, pets are banned from polling units, and the police discourage people from violating this law.

    So, maybe we should start looking for other ways to defend our votes and leave the animals out of it because the last kind of trouble anyone wants is one from the Nigerian police. 

    What Else Happened This Week?

    Light at the end of the tunnel of Naira scarcity

    If there’s one thing the Nigerian government’s good at, it’s making unnecessary policies that only serve to make our lives harder. In November 2022, President Bubu launched the newly designed naira banknotes, and the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) announced that it’d become the official tender from February 10, 2023. 

    Since the redesign, we’ve entered a rat race trying to get our hands on the new naira, which has proved harder than finding good roads in Ogun state. 

    However, after weeks of suffering, POS extortion, bank queues, and court cases, the Supreme Court finally came to our rescue on March 3, 2023, when they announced that the old banknotes should remain Nigeria’s legal tender until December 31, 2023. 

    governorship elections Nigerian police dogs

    Some commercial banks have already started paying customers old banknotes over the counter. And although some traders still refuse to accept them as payments, the CBN’s acting Director of Corporate Communications, Dr Isa Abdulmumin, has come out to reassure Nigerians that they can now receive the old banknotes as a form of payment.

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    Lagos state governor, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, has choked us this week on social media with his achievements while in office. Can this help tip the elections in his favour in the gubernatorial elections?

    Ehen one more thing…

    We know the gubernatorial elections will be held on March 18, 2023. But do you know how many governors are vying for a second term? Check them here.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , ,

  • Meet Bola Tinubu, Nigeria’s New Fly Boy

    Meet Bola Tinubu, Nigeria’s New Fly Boy

    In the wee hours of March 1, 2023, Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the All Progressives Congress (APC) presidential candidate, was declared the winner of the presidential elections. Since the news broke, many people have started looking for ways to japa with only ₦10k, and others are preparing themselves for a life in the BAT army, eating garri,ewa and agbado for the rest of their lives.

    For many Gen-Zs, myself included, much of what we know about Tinubu are stories passed down to us by our parents. Although we can hardly remember his time as governor, during his campaigns, we’ve heard him claim to be responsible for “building” Lagos into what it is right now. So, maybe it’s time for us to look at who our president-elect is. 

    There’s a lot of drama around where exactly Tinubu’s from. Some say he’s from Lagos, while others claim to know his family house in Iragbiji, Osun state. And I can’t say much about his age because while he identifies as a 70-year-old, his daughter, the Iyaloja of Lagos, is 60, so the math isn’t really math-ing there. 

    But because I like to mind the business that pays me, let’s instead look at his accomplishments while in government and his plans for us. 

    Bola Tinubu’s the 12th governor of Lagos state from 1999-2007. As governor, he introduced a free healthcare policy for children under 18 and adults above 65. Also, the Under Blindness Prevention program was launched, where millions of Lagosians were given free eye surgeries and glasses, saving them from sight problems. 

    The Lagos state government also set up clinics to combat polio by immunising children.

    His government also paid close attention to the education sector. A free education programme was launched, which also fully sponsored WAEC AND NECO registration for all students in Lagos public schools. He also initiated the Lagos state spelling bee competition, now an annual competition where the winner gets cash prizes and a chance to be the One-Day Governor. 

    And as many of us might have heard repeatedly, in Tinubu’s government, Lagos was able to significantly increase its Internally Generated Revenue. Tinubu plans to recreate what he did in Lagos across the entire country, hopefully minus the thugs, traffic and unreasonable high living costs. 

    In October 2022, he released an 80-page manifesto, and some of his plans are:

    • Police officers will no longer act as bodyguards for the elites.
    • He will continue in Buhari’s footsteps to discourage importation and support local production.
    • A commodity board to control the price of staple crops in the interest of farmers will be established.
    • A Creative Industry Advisory Team will be created to provide a more conducive environment for content creators, although, given the APC’S history, this might end in another social media regulation.
    • 35 per cent of government positions will be allocated to women, but I can’t help but wonder if the idea of a 50-50 government between both genders scares them.
    • To tackle our high inflation rate, they will study it a bit longer.  

    Looking at some of Tinubu’s accomplishments and plans, it might serve as a reassurance that maybe the next four years won’t be so bad, but it still isn’t easy to get past the allegations, controversies and questions that have surrounded him for years. 

    For one, there’s the ever-present claim that he’s heavily involved in drug trafficking and money laundering. Some even say he receives commissions from Lagos’ taxes and the toll gate fare. There was also a frenzy on social media about how he falsified his academic records from Chicago State University. Another issue many people have with him is how he plays the “Godfather” role, particularly in Lagos state. 

    Many Nigerians still hold on to the hope that something might still happen to change the outcome of the recently concluded elections. But if nothing does and Bola Tinubu gets successfully sworn into office on May 29, 2023, not many people will hold their breath to see what his administration brings. And maybe that would be best. After all, as we’ve seen repeatedly with Nigeria, it’s the hope that kills. 

    Tolu Omotesho

    , ,

  • Election Is Here And Wike Is Still Silent

    Election Is Here And Wike Is Still Silent

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA

    Doyin Okupe Resignation Sanwo-olu Meffy

    The Rivers state governor, Nyesom Wike, is one of the Nigerian politicians that should get an honorary degree in Theatre Arts. A word many would ascribe to him is “drama,” and in the days leading up to the 2023 elections, this has proved very true. 

    Wike was one of the presidential aspirant of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), but lost to Atiku Abubakar in the primaries. However, Wike hasn’t taken this defeat lying down. Instead, he has sabotaged PDP’s presidential campaign in every way he can. 

    Asides from leading a rebellion against the PDP leadership with his aso-ebi boys, the G-5 governors consisting of Seyi Makinde (Oyo State), Okezie Ikpeazu (Abia State), Samuel Ortom (Benue State) and Ifeanyi Ugwuanyi (Enugu State); he also cancelled Atiku’s presidential rally in Rivers state under the guise of them lacking the capacity to fill the stadium. 

    But, despite his mean-spirited attacks on his party, he hasn’t openly declared support for another candidate. However, some third-party informants say he has thrown his weight behind Bola Tinubu, the presidential candidate of the ruling party, the All Progressives Congress (APC). 

    After months of trying to let peace reign, Atiku has finally had enough. In a statement on February 22, 2023, he called out the Rivers state governor, describing him as “a con man and a chicken hiding under the costume of a lion”. He also accused him of planning to use violence in the state to hand Tinubu the win. Looking back at everything Wike has put the PDP through in this election period, you can’t help but wonder if he’s really all bark and no bite. If he’s truly displeased with the party, why not defect to a different one? In January, he said he’d be announcing his preferred presidential candidate, but it’s one day before the presidential elections, and we’ve not heard a beep from him. 

    2023 Wike Atiku PDP Chef robs

    Is he shying away from supporting his candidate with his full chest, or is he playing chess while we’re stuck on checker’s? 

    What else happened this week?

    2023 Wike Atiku PDP Chef robs

    The chef who’s a serial robber gets caught

    Like the song goes, “Crazy things are happening”. Nigerians have been trying to survive the government since we crossed into this year, and now it looks like we have to be extra watchful with other Nigerians.

    2023 Wike Atiku PDP Chef robs

    On February 23, 3023, the Lagos State Police Command arrested and detained a cook, Wilfred Amoussou, under the suspicion of drugging and robbing his employers. Allegedly, this isn’t Wilfred’s first rodeo as he has done this to many victims over the years, particularly in the Ikoyi, Parkview and Banana Island axis.

    2023 needs a restart button because, so far, it’s not giving.

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    The Supreme court adjourned the case again against the Naira redesign to March 3. Do you still think they can help us in our fight against Meffy? 

    Ehen one more thing…

    It’s one day to the presidential and national assembly elections. You can check the results as they are being released live, here or join our WhatsApp community to get updates, fact-checks, and talk to other voters. 

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , , , ,

  • Nasir El-Rufai Can’t Stop Singing This Month

    Nasir El-Rufai Can’t Stop Singing This Month

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA

    Doyin Okupe Resignation Sanwo-olu Meffy

    For the first time this year, there might be light at the end of the tunnel of suffering for Nigerians. Early morning on February 16, 2023, President Muhammadu Buhari ordered the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to release old ₦200 notes into circulation. And it should remain the legal tender for the next sixty days, i.e. until April 10, 2023. 

    But while this news might have come as a surprise for many of us, Kaduna’s state governor, Nasir El-Rufai, like the man who saw tomorrow, predicted this would happen. 

    [newsletter type=”gov”]

    Earlier this month, on February 3, 2023, Kaduna, Kogi and Zamfara states filed a suit at the Supreme Court to contest the February 10 deadline set by the CBN to make the new banknotes the official legal tender. Although the Supreme Court had adjourned the case, El-Rufai disclosed that the federal government had reached out to them to settle out of court. Their offer was to allow the circulation of old ₦200 notes till April 10, 2023, because the CBN was already destroying the old ₦500 and ₦1000 notes. However, the state governors declined the offer, and El-Rufai accused the government of lying about burning the ₦500 and ₦1000 notes.

    Federal government to El-Rufai

    This isn’t the first time the Kaduna state governor has been in the news for giving us inside gist from Aso rock. On February 1, 2023, he revealed that some people were trying to sabotage the presidential win of the All Progressives Congress (APC). But without waiting for the smoke from that to die out, he dropped another bombshell on February 14, 2023. During an interview, he said that a cabal around our President Bubu was trying to install an interim national government after the presidential elections because their preferred presidential candidate didn’t win the APC presidential primaries. 

    When asked to give the names of members of this cabal, he shied away by simply saying “they are nothing”. We’re eight days away from the presidential elections, and we can almost be sure that El-Rufai’s training his vocal cords to drop another record soon.

    What else happened this week?

    NGOs Must Go

    Despite the Valentine’s Day celebration, there’s no love lost between Zamfara and Non-Governmental Organisations (NGOs) because, on February 14, 2023, the state government ordered all NGOs to leave immediately. 

    In a statement by Mamman Tsafe, the state’s commissioner for Security and Home Affairs, he said that some illegal NGOs played a role in fueling insecurity in the state. Security agencies were also ordered to investigate and prosecute any NGO defying the directive. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    Due to the Naira scarcity caused by its redesign, protests have recently broken out around the country. Do you think this could cause INEC to postpone the upcoming elections?

    Ehen one more thing…

    The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has repeatedly said that without a Permanent Voter Card (PVC), it would be impossible to vote on election day. But the founder of YIAGA Africa, an NGO, thinks this shouldn’t be so.

    [newsletter type=”gov”]

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , ,

  • Banking Problems Reach the Zenith for Nigerians

    Banking Problems Reach the Zenith for Nigerians

    Politicians, policemen, and lecturers should say “God forbid” at least three times daily because every now and then, they’re the target of curses from many Nigerians. And looking at what has happened in the last couple of days, it seems bank staff should also be part of this list. 

    Ever since the federal government signed Nigerians up for shege pro-max with the Naira redesign policy, the flaws in our banking system have been exposed for all to see. Many people have had to struggle with bad networks from their banks amidst the naira scarcity, which makes the implementation of the cashless policy seem even more impractical. 

    However, the bank that seems to be bearing the brunt of Nigerians’ frustrations the most is Zenith. On February 7, 2023, an angry crowd of customers threatened to burn down their Sango-Ota branch in Southwest Nigeria because they felt ignored. Luckily, a man called MC Tush was able to appease the mob. Unfortunately, their other branches didn’t have the same luck as they have been attacked by customers unable to withdraw the new notes from their accounts. 

    There have been clips on social media of their staff jumping fences to escape mob attacks.

    Well, Zenith bank finally decided that enough’s enough. And on February 7, 2023, it shut down some of its branches in Abuja and other states around the country. This has frustrated Nigerians, but you can’t complain if there’s no one there to listen to you. 

    It’d be interesting to see how Zenith bank tries to bounce back when everything’s over. 

    [newsletter type=”gov”]

    What else happened this week?

    A 9-Year-Old Nigerian Graduated from an American High School

    For the japa enthusiasts, this might give you another reason to leave Nigeria. A nine-year-old boy, David Balogun, who lives in Pennsylvania, America, has become one of the youngest students in the world to graduate from high school. After attending classes remotely, he received his high school diploma from Reach Cyber Charter School. And some employers still foam at the mouth when you mention remote work. 

    He plans to be an astrophysicist and has completed his first semester at Bucks County Community college. This boy would never have to worry about ASUU strike, and if Nigeria had a system that worked, we’d see that we’re blessed with children who are geniuses like David Balogun. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    The Supreme Court has temporarily suspended the February 10, 2023, deadline for swapping the Naira notes. Will this aid politicians in vote buying at the forthcoming polls?

    Ehen one more thing…

    The pressure on INEC is getting “worser”. There are talks of INEC working with MC Oluomo to distribute election items. Here’s the full gist.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , ,

  • Does Bola Tinubu Want More Foes Than Friends?

    Does Bola Tinubu Want More Foes Than Friends?

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA

    Doyin Okupe Resignation Sanwo-olu Meffy

    In another universe, Nigeria’s a hit reality TV show with no boring moments; from actors who say their only mortal flaw is unfaithfulness to their partners, and socialites attending yacht parties in aso-ebi, to election candidates making more enemies than friends.

    During the campaign rally held in Uyo, Akwa Ibom for the All Progressives Congress (APC), their presidential candidate, Bola Tinubu, once again made scathing remarks that had everyone wondering if the APC’s being serious with their choice of candidate. And at this point, the APC’s public relations team should probably ask for a pay raise because they’ve done more damage control and quenched more fires than Nigeria’s Fire Service.

    But what exactly happened? 

    Rather than do his campaign peacefully in a state ruled by the opposition People’s Democratic Party, Tinubu insulted the state’s governor, Emmanuel Udom, referring to him as “a boy” who lives in his backyard in Lagos. And that, if not for his graciousness, he’d have driven Udom out of his mansion with reptiles. 

    Governor Udom, trying to be the bigger person, brushed off the comments by saying Tinubu has nothing to offer the country. But a Coalition of Civil Society Organisations (CSOs) in Awka Ibom wants to defend their governor’s honour and has given Tinubu seven days to retract his statements, apologise, or face the almighty legal actions. 

    Well, people have always referred to Bola Tinubu as a “master tactician”, so maybe making enemies is one of his strategies for winning the election, and the rest of us can’t see it because we aren’t eating enough corn.

    What else happened this week?

    Bola Tinubu Campaign Udom ISWAP insurgents Akwa Ibom

    ISWAP Does Giveaway For Borno Passengers

    It’s weeks until the 2023 general elections, but it’s starting to look like the country is on airplane mode. The impossible is now becoming a reality as the naira is now so scarce Nigerians are spending naira to buy Naira, and insurgents have started giving money away to people.  

    Bola Tinubu Campaign Udom ISWAP insurgents Akwa Ibom

    On January 28, 2023, Islamic State West Africa Province (ISWAP) insurgents dressed in camouflage and stood under a tree with bags of money on the Maiduguri/Monguno highway in Borno State. Then, they stopped vehicles along the route and gave each passenger ₦100,000. But that wasn’t all; they also instructed them to swap it for new naira in banks if possible and then let them go with a prayer saying: “May Allah make it beneficial for you”. 

    At this point, one would think this is a skit.

    Have you seen this video?

    Question of the week

    Many people this week have had to pay ridiculous charges to withdraw money at POS centres. Is it time to go back to the trade-by-barter system? 

    Ehen one more thing…

    A freak accident happened this week at the Ojuelegba bridge, which claimed the lives of 8 people. But this isn’t the first time. Here’s a timeline of accidents that have occurred on the same bridge.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , ,

  • How Much Does Your Loyalty Cost During Elections?

    How Much Does Your Loyalty Cost During Elections?

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA

    Doyin Okupe Resignation Sanwo-olu Meffy

    In the famous Harry Potter series, the villain, Voldemort, succeeded, for the most part, because he had followers who were more than ready to fight, bleed and die for him. Unfortunately, this type of loyalty doesn’t exist in Nigerian politics. The “Emi lo kan” campaign team of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) recently experienced this first-hand as they were seemingly betrayed by one of their own a month before the presidential election.

    On January 21, 2023, Hajiya Naja’atu Muhammad, a Director in the Presidential Campaign Council (PCC) for the APC, tendered her resignation letter. She claimed she didn’t want Nigeria’s affliction to rise a second time by supporting Bola Tinubu, APC’s presidential candidate, who’s too sick to rule a nation properly. Also, she said she’d be quitting partisan politics because none of them aligned with her values or beliefs. 

    This is why it was shocking to see Hajiya Muhammad, a mere 72 hours after her resignation and “quitting party politics”, smiling brightly for the camera with Atiku Abubakar, the presidential candidate for the People’s Democratic Party (PDP).

    And while we’re still trying to figure out if this means she’s now a part of PDP’s campaign, the APC recently released a statement saying Hajiya’s resignation is a scam as she was fired for incompetence and being a mole. 

    So you can’t help but wonder, was Hajiya Muhammad just someone planted by the PDP into Bola Tinubu’s presidential campaign or was she recently bought over? 

    What else happened this week?

    Woman wins ₦1.5 million for being called a witch

    In the words of the great Bobrisky, “Have you ever seen anybody on this earth that died of insurrrttt?”. Well, you can’t die from insult, but you can make money off it. 

    Naja’atu Muhammad APC elections

    On June 5, 2020, Sahura Suleiman, on her way back from grocery shopping, was called a witch, hypocrite and bastard by six people: her in-laws, neighbour and a native doctor. They grabbed her by her neck and also almost stripped her naked. 

    In turn, she filed a case against them in court for defamation and breach of her fundamental human rights. Three years later, it ended in praise as a High Court in Kano ordered the six respondents to pay a sum of ₦1.5 million. 

    Have you seen this video?

    Question of the week

    We’re weeks away from the 2023 general elections. Have you gotten your PVC yet?

    Ehen one more thing…

    Nigeria experienced one of the worst flooding crises in 2022. The Nigeria Meteorological Agency (NiMet) has released a report warning Nigerians to expect early rainfall in most parts of the country. Here’s everything you need to know about this.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , ,

  • An Unhappy New Year For Meffy

    An Unhappy New Year For Meffy

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA

    Doyin Okupe Resignation Sanwo-olu Meffy

    There seems to be trouble after trouble for CBN governor, Godwin “Meffy” Emefiele as he is in the news again.

    Over the years, Meffy has introduced many controversial policies; however, what takes the cake is the recent naira redesign and cash withdrawal limit policies. Since the CBN announced these policies, Meffy has been under fire from Nigerians and has received summons from the House of Representatives which he did not honour.  

    However, things began to take a different turn on December 20, 2022, when the Department of State Security Services (DSS) joined the list of those looking for Meffy. They went even further to file for his arrest on the charges of financing terrorism. Although the court refused to grant their request due to lack of evidence, it doesn’t look like they have plans to give up anytime soon, as they recently took the Deputy CBN Governor and other top officials in for questioning.   

    After weeks of playing hide and seek, Meffy finally decided to come back home, and while still trying to shake the DSS off his back, he seems to have landed in fresh trouble. 

    A federal High Court in Abuja has summoned the CBN Governor over a $53 million judgement debt owed due to the Paris Club refund. We can see that Meffy’s village people have decided to carry his matter on their heads this year.

    Village people to Meffy

    What Else Happened This Week?

    Oshodi/Apapa Gridlock: Policemen Abandon All Hope

    Over the past few months, Nigeria has shown us that no matter how bad we think a situation is, it can always get worse. Unfortunately, the traffic situation along the Apapa-Oshodi expressway has taken a turn for the worse despite promises of a solution. To give you an idea of just how bad the problem is, the Divisional Police Officer (DPO) of the Mile-2/Apapa axis declared on January 17, 2023, that they need ideas on how to solve the problem.

    However, he didn’t miss the opportunity to point accusing fingers at the Nigeria Union of Petroleum and Natural Gas Workers (NUPENG) officials as being responsible for the traffic. And the NUPENG workers, in turn, passed the blame onto the government. With the blame game going on, a solution to this problem won’t be coming anytime soon. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    This week, INEC Chairman, Prof. Yakubu Mahmood, during his speech at Chatham House, about the possibility of using body odour for voters’ identification in the future. What other “interesting” ideas do you think INEC should consider?

    Ehen, one more thing…

    Big Brother Titans launched this last Sunday. Do you think it can distract people from voting in the upcoming elections? Here’s what other Nigerians think.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , ,

  • Could A Party Alliance Be Tinubu’s Last Card?

    Could A Party Alliance Be Tinubu’s Last Card?

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA

    Doyin Okupe Resignation Sanwo-olu Meffy

    In the popular Game of Thrones series, power was obtained and kept through alliances. And regardless of the lies, betrayals and deaths, people did everything to maintain these alliances because of the benefits attached to them. We can easily say Nigeria’s political sphere is a game of thrones. 

    For 16 years, the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) dominated the political scene; until, in 2013 the major opposition parties: the Action Congress of Nigeria (ACN), the All Nigeria Peoples Party (ANPP), the Congress for Progressive Change (CPC) and a faction of the All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA), assembled to form the All Progressives Congress (APC).

    Tinubu Alliance Brymo INEC

    Bola Ahmed Tinubu (BAT) –the Presidential candidate of the APC for the 2023 elections– was one of the brains behind this merger. To ensure his victory at the 2023 polls, he is again rumoured to be seeking an alliance with other parties. Tinubu’s presidential campaign can be described as “interesting”. 

    Although he has repeatedly proclaimed himself as Nigeria’s long-awaited saviour, some team members aren’t turning a blind eye to the many holes in his campaign. For instance, the absence of some APC members from his campaign and lack of endorsement from APC chieftains. So, to boost his chances, they plan to form alliances with smaller parties. 

    Some political parties, such as the African Action Alliance (AAA) and the All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA), have said a big God forbid to the possibility of such an alliance. 

    However, a faction of the Social Democratic Party (SDP) is more than ready to accept Bola Tinubu with open arms. 

    Tinubu Alliance Brymo INEC

    I wonder how their presidential candidate, Prince Adewole Adebayo, feels about this.

    What Else Happened This Week?

    The Cancel Train Is Here For Brymo

    The election season is known to bring out the absolute worst in people, and sadly, the Nigerian singer Brymo finally let his intrusive thoughts win. 

    Brymo, over the years, has made himself known for more than just the music. From showing us how well he can rock a g-string to self-proclaiming himself “Nigeria’s artiste of the decade”. Unfortunately, over the past few days, his actions have left a bitter taste in many people’s mouths. 

    Brymo kicked off this year by claiming Igbo people aren’t ripe for the presidency, and against better judgement, he is yet to refute this statement. Instead, he has continued what seems to be an endless rant justifying his views, even going as far as cussing the entire tribe out.  

    Tinubu Alliance Brymo INEC

    Many people, including celebrities like Paul Okoye, have called him out on his comments, but we’re in the cancel era and just talking isn’t enough. A petition has been filed to ensure he doesn’t win any award in the 2023 All Africa Award Music Award (AFRIMA), and so far, it has over 12,000 signatures. 

    Everyone is entitled to their choice of candidate, but we should draw the lines on bigotry. 

    Video of the week

    Question of the week

    With less than three weeks till the old naira notes become illegal, have you gotten a hold of the new banknotes yet?

    Ehen, one more thing…

    On January 10, 2023, the federal government dispelled all doubts and reassured us that the 2023 general elections would definitely be held. But here are some of the issues INEC’s been facing so far. 

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , ,

  • Help!! Buhari’s Kaftan Is On Fire!

    Help!! Buhari’s Kaftan Is On Fire!

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA

    Doyin Okupe Resignation Sanwo-olu Meffy

    Roses are red, violets are blue, It’s 2023 and Buhari’s still making promises. On January 2, 2023, the Burundian government sent their good wishes to Nigeria regarding our upcoming general elections. 

    They also requested that we help them with energy supplies, particularly fuel. President Buhari, like a knight in shining armour, promised to get the Nigerian National Petroleum Company (NNPC) to look into their request, which is mind-boggling, seeing as the Nigeria has been facing fuel scarcity for a while now. 

    Buhari Burundi Benue teachers

    Fuel shortage has become almost normal in Nigeria, and 2022 was no different. For a good part of the year, queues persisted in filling stations despite the many promises from the government to find a lasting solution. Instead, the situation has worsened, and many Nigerians are now forced to buy fuel at the rate of ₦250 to ₦270. 

    Buhari Burundi Benue teachers

    Despite the prayers held across the country on December 31, 2022, the problem of fuel scarcity crossed over into the new year with us. 

    This makes Buhari’s promise to Burundi almost laughable but again, lies are nothing new, especially to Nigerians, and Burundi might soon experience this too. 

    What else happened this week?

    Benue Government Shies Away From Paying Teachers’ Salaries

    Buhari Burundi Benue teachers

    A new year is upon us, and while some people are still complaining about not being paid a 13th-month salary, primary school teachers in Benue state haven’t received salaries for 13 months. 

    Some of these teachers have been owed as far back as 2017. 

    Buhari Burundi Benue teachers

    This hardship has pushed many of them into after-school farming or petty trading. According to the National Union of Teachers (NUT), no strike action has been called, but the union recently told teachers to stay home for a while as some of them couldn’t afford transport to the schools.

    While presenting its bill of ₦179 billion to the House of Assembly, the Benue state government promised to pay the salaries of workers, including retirees. But hopes aren’t particularly high because, at this point, the government is beginning to sound worse than a broken tune.

    Video of the week

    Question of the week 

    With less than three weeks left to collect your Permanent Voters’ Card (PVC), have you decided on the candidate worthy of your vote?

    Ehen one more thing…

    Former president Olusegun Obasanjo ruffled many feathers with his endorsement of the Labour Party (LP) presidential candidate, Peter Obi. Here are the major points from his letter.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , , ,

  • Can Nigerian Politicians Ever Find Redemption?

    Can Nigerian Politicians Ever Find Redemption?

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA

    Doyin Okupe Resignation Sanwo-olu Meffy

    This week has shown us nothing is impossible, and impossible is nothing. It started off with Lionel Messi’s village people finally allowing him to win the World Cup, and in an even stranger turn of events, a Nigerian politician convicted of money laundering actually had the decency to step down from his political position instead of just closing his eyes till the bad news all went away.

    Doyin Okupe Resignation Sanwo-olu Meffy

    On December 19, 2022, a federal high court in Abuja found Doyin Okupe guilty of money laundering. While he was an aide to former president, Goodluck Jonathan, he received over ₦200 million from former National Security Adviser, Sambo Dasuki, without going through a financial institution. 

    Nigerian law frowns upon such transactions because that kind of process makes it easy to steal even if done with the best of intentions like Okupe claimed he was doing. The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) dragged him to court for that shady deal and the judge sentenced him to two years in prison on many counts. But he also had the option to pay a fine that totalled ₦13 million.  

    For those who don’t remember or know Doyin Okupe, he was, until recently, the Director-General of the Labour Party Presidential Campaign Council. When news of his conviction broke, many Nigerians raised their eyebrows, mainly because of his role in the Obi-Datti campaign. Peter Obi’s opps seemed ecstatic at the opportunity to finally call the so-called messiah out as a fraud, but all the haters were silenced when Okupe posted his resignation letter on December 20, 2022. 

    The bar is very low when it comes to Nigerian politicians, and this is why Okupe’s resignation shocked many of us. Nigerians are used to seeing money laundering cases swept under the rug, and the offenders moving freely while flaunting their extravagant lifestyles. But Okupe’s case proves that maybe all is not completely lost.

    What else happened this week?

    Nigerian Doctors Are Catching Hands When They Need To Catch A Break

    Everybody is going through it in this country, but doctors seem to be especially punished for working in Nigeria. After spending years surviving medical school and trying to reconcile with the peanuts the government pays them, they may also need to learn martial arts to deal with patients. 

    On December 21, 2022, a 56-year-old man, Ayodele Falomo and his son, Ayoola, appeared before  a Chief Magistrate’s Court in Ogun State for assaulting a doctor. Moments after the doctor pronounced their relative dead, they repeatedly slapped her before other people came to her rescue.

    The court allowed her attackers get away with a ₦200k fine each and a written apology. But they probably just helped another Nigerian doctor decide to japa.

    Video of the week

    Question of the week? 

    During the inauguration of the Blue Line Rail system this week, Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu mentioned that Lagos has now become like London under his watch. Do you agree with him?

    Ehen one more thing…

    Meffy has finally bowed to public pressure and raised the weekly withdrawal limits of individuals to ₦500k and corporate bodies to ₦5 million. Here’s how the former withdrawal policy affected different people.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , , , ,

  • Bola Tinubu Wants Us To Stop Disturbing Him With Questions

    Bola Tinubu Wants Us To Stop Disturbing Him With Questions

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA

    As Nigerians, we’ve accepted that a lot of things will never happen: the price of fuel dropping back down to ₦87 per litre and Bola Tinubu, the presidential candidate of the All Progressives’ Congress (APC), attending a presidential town hall. 

    While we were wondering what else could surprise us, Tinubu dropped another hit  this week when he participated in a town hall event at Chatham House, London.

    Tinubu Chatham Questions BBC

    We still don’t understand why he went overseas in the first place after months of ignoring requests from the local media, or why he decided to show his class teacher skills on a global stage by delegating questions thrown at him to his political surrogates, but another interview of him with the BBC dropped the following day on December 6, 2022.

    And although this time, he surprisingly went through the interview with no slips of “Balablu” or “PD…APC”, his responses showed he was tired of our endless questions. 

    When asked if he was getting a share of Lagos’ revenue, he responded that he had been investigated and, at this point, those still with doubts should bring proof. And when asked to explain the source of his wealth to Nigerians who want clarification, his answer was simple: 

    Despite the second-hand international disgrace we received at Chatham House this week, at least we know now to never say never. Maybe there’s a chance the price of fuel might come down in our near future too. 

    What Else Happened This Week? 

    ICPC Wants The Koko Master To Sing

    Tinubu Chatham Questions BBC

    Does anyone remember N-Power? In 2016, President Muhammadu Buhari set up the scheme to fight unemployment. Young graduates were trained, engaged and paid a stipend between  ₦10k to ₦30k. 

    Unfortunately, some government officials diverted some of these funds to the accounts of ghost workers. Years later, anti-corruption officials are accusing Nigerian music star, D’banj, of collaborating with these officials. 

    The Independent Corrupt Practices and Other Related Offences Commission (ICPC) invited him multiple times to talk, but he refused to show up. 

    Tinubu Chatham Questions BBC

    This triggered the ICPC to demand his arrest, whether in Nigeria or abroad. The Koko Master turned himself in on December 6, 2022, and has been detained, interrogated, and denied bail because he’s considered a flight risk. The commission has plans to charge him to court soon and he’ll have to tell everyone the koko. 

    Have you seen this video?

    Question of the Week

    Peter Obi, the presidential candidate of the Labour Party (LP), finally released his manifesto. Is it convincing enough to earn your vote next year? 

    Ehen, one more thing…

    With Meffy’s new cash policy, it’s now impossible to withdraw more than ₦100k weekly and also, only ₦200 notes will be loaded in ATMs. 
    At this point, it’s difficult to tell if Nigerian policies are made to improve our lives or to see just how much trouble we can endure. Here’s how the policy can really affect you.

    Tolu Omotesho

    , , , , ,

  • We Need to Talk About Aisha Buhari

    We Need to Talk About Aisha Buhari

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    We Need to Talk About Aisha Buhari

    If Aisha Buhari was a fruit, she’d be a strawberry — wonderful aesthetics on the outside, but you’re not always quite sure what you’ll get when you dig your teeth in. 

    As Nigeria’s first lady since 2015, she’s had a reign no one would be able to accurately describe as uneventful.

    We Need to Talk About Aisha Buhari

    Aisha Buhari’s first true moment in the spotlight came in 2016 when she criticised her husband’s running of the Nigerian government. In response, while standing next to Angela Merkel, one of the world’s most powerful women, Buhari said his wife belonged in the kitchen and the bedroom. 

    The episode painted the president as an ancestor from a forgotten ancient past and endeared many people to his wife — the public figure unafraid to speak truth to power in service of the people. But the first lady’s character development arc since that episode is the stuff of an Oscar-worthy film.

    In 2018, many Nigerians had questions when Aisha Buhari accused her aide of collecting ₦‎2.5 billion cash gifts on her behalf only to keep the loot for himself. Even her occasional anti-government rants started to look suspicious when some of them appeared to be fuelled by her frustrations about her brother’s political issues with her husband’s ruling party. And how can we forget the video clip of her fight with her in-laws in 2019, and another off-camera fight with another in-law that led to gunshots inside Aso Rock?

    We Need to Talk About Aisha Buhari

    The year is 2022, and Aisha Buhari’s capacity for attracting ugly news headlines is stronger than our national grid’s willpower. The first lady became a dinner table subject this week when she allegedly ordered the arrest of a university student, Aminu Muhammed, who used Twitter to call her a fat freeloader feeding on Nigeria’s wealth. I’m paraphrasing here.

    The first lady’s action proved counterproductive because now the internet is littered with a multitude of mean-spirited jokes at her expense. This barbaric overextension of state powers to deal with a personal slight that’s a civil case of alleged defamation is the kind of thing that tells you Nigerian politicians don’t exactly understand the times they live in. Have you met the internet, bro?

    We Need to Talk About Aisha Buhari

    What else happened this week?

    Protect INEC at all costs

    As the gatekeeper of what we call democracy in Nigeria, the success or failure of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) is tied directly to the country’s future. So, seeing another INEC office go up in flames this week was a dreadful sight. The latest attack in Ebonyi is the fifth on an INEC local government area office in the past four months.

    Attacks on INEC facilities have become a trend in Nigeria and are designed to either damage the agency’s capacity to conduct elections or scare even more voters away from exercising their voting rights due to the threats of violence. 

    Election candidates may want to use their voices more to ensure this doesn’t become a more common sight.

    Have you seen this video?

    Question of the week

    Fuel scarcity was back in full force again this week. How have you been navigating the latest crisis?

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    Three Nigerian men caused an international incident when officials found them hiding on the rudder of a ship that travelled for 11 days from Nigeria to Spain.

    The country is hard, but things can always get worse if you don’t seek greener pastures with a clear plan.

    Samson Toromade

    , , ,

  • Will the Real Bola Tinubu Please Stand Up?

    Will the Real Bola Tinubu Please Stand Up?

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    It must not be easy to be Bola Ahmed Tinubu in 2022. When he won his presidential ticket in June, he signed up for a world of public scrutiny so intense it can power Nigeria’s erratic national grid. 

    Journalists, political rivals and even random 12-year-olds with an internet connection have poked and prodded into his life.

    Will the Real Bola Tinubu Please Stand Up?

    [Zikoko Memes]

    This isn’t a bad thing — the scrutiny is necessary for anyone auditioning for Nigeria’s highest political office. It’s not when you’ve already elected someone into office you want to find out they’re medically unfit, love eating semo or used to sell drugs.

    In Tinubu’s case, he’s made the job pretty easy for his haters by running a campaign so chaotic in its messaging and frightening in its prospects. Even before he won the ticket, he pissed everyone off with his infamous “emi lokan” rant and his unending stream of public slips of the tongue has made him a fertile target for online ridicule. But one of the candidate’s biggest burdens is his unresolved shady past threatening to blow up his campaign.

    Will the Real Bola Tinubu Please Stand Up?

    [Zikoko Memes]

    This week, a former Cross River State governor, Donald Duke, complained that the Tinubu campaign has been using a picture of him as a young boy to represent the former Lagos State governor. The controversial documentary about the life and times of Tinubu first aired in June and implied the dashing young boy was a younger version of the candidate who says he’s now 70.

    Will the Real Bola Tinubu Please Stand Up?

    We need the wisdom of King Solomon to settle this one

    This would be considered an honest mistake for any other candidate. But for Tinubu, it’s just the latest issue to cast uncertainty over his real identity, especially with the many hazy details about his past.

    Tinubu has had many allegations thrown his way, from his dodgy academic credentials to his unclear employment records and even his political legacy. It’s an absolute miracle his campaign is still standing largely unharmed, but is there a point where his nine lives run out?

    What else happened this week?

    Make Air Travel Great Again (MATGA)

    [ThisDay]

    Using Nigerian airlines comes with some pretty heavy baggage, starting from when you arrive at the airports. If it’s not the bambiala officials, it’s the annoying queues, the announcer’s confusing accent, overpriced food, and security officials touching you anyhow in the name of inspection.

    It’s a very long list of discomforting issues, but all of these don’t even compare to the moment you find out your flight is delayed or, even worse, cancelled. It’s a vicious cycle of feeling you’re on your own and not getting your money’s worth.

    If you’re one of the Nigerians worried about not getting quality service from the aviation industry, worry not because the House of Representatives is stepping in to save everyone. House member, Simon Karu (Gombe – APC), raised a motion this week for an investigation into the violation of the rights of passengers in Nigeria.

    The goal of the investigation is to improve the system to provide quality air travel services in the country. This means airline operators will stop shortchanging their customers and provide them with due compensation when they mess up.

    [Zikoko Meme]

    Hopefully, this new energy for the industry can cause a chain reaction that’d remove the bambiala officials, the annoying queues and the customer service agents walking around with the attitude of an irritated porcupine.

    Oh, look, a flying pig.

    Have you seen this video?

    Question of the week

    On a scale of “Over my dead body” to “I’d like to sleep with them under my pillow”, what are your thoughts on the new naira banknotes?

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    The Inspector-General of Police, Usman Baba, complained this week that police officers don’t have any human rights activists to advocate for them when members of the public violate their rights. Has he met Nigerian police officers before?

    Samson Toromade

    , ,

  • The Devil Works Hard but Social Media Regulation Works Harder

    The Devil Works Hard but Social Media Regulation Works Harder

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    The Devil Works Hard but Social Media Regulation Works Harder

    I have a riddle for you: If a tree falls in the middle of the forest but there’s no one to tweet about it, did it really happen? If your answer was yes, then you don’t spend nearly enough time on social media — in which case, get a life, okay? If your answer was no, then social media means a lot to you and you probably want to sit down for this next part.

    On September 26, 2022, two very important people signed a document called the “Code Of Practice For Interactive Computer Service Platforms/Internet Intermediaries”. The document’s title is deliberately boring and isn’t more appropriately named “Social Media Regulation Stuff” because that would get your attention and rightfully alarm you.

    The Devil Works Hard but Social Media Regulation Works Harder

    [Zikoko Memes]

    One of the two people who signed the code was the Minister of Communications and Digital Economy, Isa Pantami. You may remember him as the high-ranking government official who kept his job even when everyone found out he openly supported terrorists when he was a naive 34-year-old boy.

    The other signee was Kashifu Inuwa Abdullahi, the director general of the National Information Technology Development Agency (NITDA). There’s no evidence yet that he’s a terrorist sympathiser.

    NITDA first floated a draft of the code back in June. And when everyone raised eyebrows about some of the shady stuff sprinkled all over it, the government said, “Hey, it’s just a draft, okay? We can dialogue and iron things out before it becomes law. Purr?” Well, the code is now law but little changed from what was initially drafted. So, what happened?

    The Devil Works Hard but Social Media Regulation Works Harder

    [Zikoko Memes]

    It’s impossible to pick apart everything in the NITDA code, but the most worrying part is the burden it places on social media platforms to regulate content that “compromises the security or undermines the unity, or sovereignty of Nigeria or promotes the act of terrorism”. It also affects content that “instigates public disorder or interferes with an ongoing investigation”.

    While both these things sound like decent propositions on paper, Nigerian legislation is where all good intentions go to die. The potential for the misapplication of these clauses is worrying especially since #EndSARS showed us how easy it is for the Nigerian government to brand anything as terrorism. 

    Can it be considered an incitement of public disorder if you call the president a fool or Lai Mohammed a liar? Does investigative journalism interfere with an ongoing investigation and run foul of this code? It’s a window too dangerous to just leave open.

    The Devil Works Hard but Social Media Regulation Works Harder

    [Zikoko Memes]

    The code isn’t all evil and establishes laws that protect the interests of Nigerians in an increasingly volatile online jungle. But it also helps the Nigerian government sneak social media regulation through the backdoor after failing to get it through the National Assembly. It smells.

    What else happened this week?

    Election campaign funds don’t fall from heaven

    [EFCC]

    One of the most closely-guarded secrets in Nigeria — other than Buhari’s skincare routine — is how Nigerian politicians actually fund their election campaigns. This week, we found out one of the ways to run it is through 419. Allegedly.

    On October 30, 2022, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) arrested one Ismaila Yusuf Atumeyi with ₦326 million and $140,500 cash in Abuja. His name may not ring a bell now, but he could become a household name if he wins a seat in the Kogi State House of Assembly in 2023 as a candidate of the New Nigeria People’s Party (NNPP).

    The EFCC is accusing Atumeyi’s suspected cyber fraud ring of hacking a commercial bank and carrying out a ₦1.4 billion heist that would make Lawrence Anini jealous. The ring laundered the loot through bureau de change (BDC) operators and bought some high-end cars. What’s to stop Atumeyi from using the proceeds to buy overpriced nomination forms for political office or run his campaign?

    This guy is too camera-shy for a Nigerian politician [EFCC]

    Transparency in Nigeria’s election campaign financing is quite rubbish and even the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) is tired of trying to enforce campaign finance laws. Without presuming his guilt, cases like Atumeyi’s reinforce why we should take transparency in campaign financing more seriously and clean up the system.

    Should we start suspecting politicians who don’t beg the public for campaign funds? Because there’s sapa outside so where’s everyone seeing money to run campaigns running into billions of naira?

    Have you seen this video?

    Question of the week

    If Meffy put you in charge of redesigning the naira banknotes to launch in December, what would you change?

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    Buhari once again flew to London this week to play ludo with his doctors and free himself from the shackles of pretending to be a president for two weeks.

    He won in life, but 200 million Nigerians are paying for it.

    Samson Toromade

    , , , ,

  • Dear Nigerians, Sleep With Your Two Eyes Open

    Dear Nigerians, Sleep With Your Two Eyes Open

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    It's Raining Nigerian Doctors in the UK

    On October 23, 2022, the United States government issued an emergency alert to American citizens living in Nigeria. The notice warned them of imminent terror attacks on any number of assets — especially in Abuja — and preached caution and vigilance. 

    Of course, Nigerians received the alert as well as you might expect.

    [Image source: Tenor]

    In typical Nigerian fashion, our own Department of State Services (DSS) quickly dismissed the U.S. alert as an ordinary security headache, not the pulmonary embolism it sounded like. The agency even said something like, “Hey, we’ve also issued similar warnings in the past” — which is true but isn’t the point. It’s not the Warning Olympics.

    Whatever calm the DSS response offered, it went down the toilet when the U.S. government made another move on October 25. The U.S. Department of State authorised the departure of non-emergency staff and their family members back to America over the terror threats.

    One of the embassy’s helpful suggestions for Americans who choose to remain in Nigeria is to have plans that don’t require the U.S. government’s assistance, which sounds like, “You’re on your own if kasala bursts.”

    [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    Considering Nigeria’s history with terrorism in the past decade, this week’s events should register some concerns that the Nigerian government should be taking more seriously. 

    Instead, we’ve got the DSS soft-pedalling the threat and Lai Mohammed doing what he does best — calling Indian hemp spinach. Nigerians were sleeping with only one eye closed before, but we may need to sleep with both eyes open until this cup passes over. It’s time to be more vigilant than ever.

    [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    What else happened this week?

    Nigeria’s flooding crisis is a campaign issue

    [Image source: Peter Obi Campaign]

    It’s been weeks since Nigeria’s 2022 flooding crisis went from “It’s okay, this is normal every year,” to “Too many people are dying, do we still have a government?” The floods continue to wreak havoc around the country leaving 612 Nigerians dead and over 3.5 million people directly affected. 

    The situation wasn’t tragic enough to stop Buhari from travelling to South Korea this week. And he didn’t even bother to send the Minister of Condolences, Yemi Osinbajo, to have some humane facetime with the victims. His version of taking the crisis more seriously is announcing that he needs 90 days to put a plan together.

    [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    Thankfully, the 2023 presidential candidates are filling the wide gap of humane leadership Buhari has left right in the middle of the flooding crisis. The Labour Party (LP) candidate, Peter Obi, has gone on a donation spree and visited victims, gaining leadership points and photos that’ll look great in his campaign album weeks from now.

    The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) candidate, Atiku Abubakar has also met displaced victims, donated millions and made commitments to provide permanent solutions to Nigeria’s frequent flooding problems. And the All Progressives Congress (APC) candidate, Bola Tinubu, has thrown millions of naira at the problem, even if he’s not found time in his busy schedule to meet the victims.

    The good thing here is that as much as Nigeria’s 2023 elections campaign season has been troubled by ethno-religious tensions, it’s also catered to real issues affecting Nigerians. The days when campaigns were about eating roasted corn by the roadside are over. Or maybe we’re just being too optimistic here.

    Have You Seen This Video?

    Question of the week

    Fuel queues are back in major Nigerian cities and we spoke to a filling station manager about how good or bad a fuel scarcity crisis is for business. We also want to hear how you’ve been dealing with the ongoing scarcity crisis.

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    Godwin Emefiele’s Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) is redesigning the ₦‎200, ₦‎500 and ₦‎1000 banknotes and one of his reasons is that it’ll minimise the access Nigerians have to large volumes of cash needed for ransom payments.

    If you’re a kidnapper in Nigeria, it’s time to find a new line of work. Meffy is coming for you.

    Samson Toromade

    , , ,

  • State Lawmakers Hold the Nigerian Constitution Hostage

    State Lawmakers Hold the Nigerian Constitution Hostage

    A couple of years ago, federal lawmakers in the National Assembly wanted to do something challenging and decided to amend the constitution. This is usually a good thing — the 1999 constitution was largely copied from the 1979 constitution which was written in an age when the internet was a pipe dream and people thought women only belonged in the kitchen.

    State Lawmakers Hold the Nigerian Constitution Hostage

    [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    In March 2022, the two chambers of the National Assembly voted on 68 bills covering national security, electoral matters, and debates on whether Nigerian women really need rights. The lawmakers passed 44 of those 66 bills and said no to every single bill that had “women” on it. Maybe it’s still 1979 after all. 

    But that’s not even the most shocking part of this story.

    To amend the constitution, it is not just enough that the elite in Abuja vote on it — no, it is one of the rare times that Nigeria actually functions as a unit. 24 out of 36 state Houses of Assembly also have to accept or reject the 44 passed bills before the president can sign them into law or reject them.

    Seven months after the National Assembly transmitted the 44 bills to their state colleagues to consider, only 11 of them have voted. The deputy senate president, Ovie Omo-Agege, complained this week that the remaining 25 states have demanded a little something something from the National Assembly before they can do anything on the bills. So they initiated a ransom negotiation.

    State Lawmakers Hold the Nigerian Constitution Hostage

    [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    The conference of speakers of state assemblies sent a ransom note to the National Assembly highlighting four bills that should be passed alongside the 44. The proposed bills will establish state police, establish state judicial councils, streamline the procedure for removing presiding officers of state Houses of Assembly, and institutionalise legislative bureaucracy.

    The National Assembly has spent more than ₦‎1 billion on the constitutional amendment process but it’s in danger of derailment by state legislators who just want their backs scratched. 

    If the stalling state lawmakers don’t vote on the bills before the National Assembly’s current term ends in June 2023, then there’ll be no constitutional amendment. 

    Who blinks first?

    State Lawmakers Hold the Nigerian Constitution Hostage

    What else happened this week?

    INEC isn’t down with the violence, guys

    [Image source: Premium Times]

    Nigerian elections aren’t complete without all the fake promises, malfunctioning voting equipment, vote-buying, ballot snatching and senseless violence that puts voters in harm’s way.

    This week, the gloves started to come off just a little bit on some of the ugly sides of contesting for seats in Nigeria. On the soft spectrum, the governor of Kaduna State, Nasir El-Rufai, called the presidential candidate of the Labour Party (LP), Peter Obi, “a clown” on Twitter. It was an unprovoked tweet from a governor bragging about not exercising his power to set security forces loose on a presidential candidate. It’d be nice if he can set them loose on the terrorists in Kaduna State instead.

    As distasteful as El-Rufai’s tweet was, we witnessed a more horrifying display of real-world violence at the campaign rally of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and its candidate, Atiku Abubakar, in Kaduna State. Thugs targeted PDP supporters at the rally and unleashed chaos just over a week after political thugs attacked an LP meeting in Enugu State.

    Being the referee for the 2023 general elections, INEC already doesn’t like the handwriting on the wall. A violent electioneering campaign will likely lead to a violent election. So in a very brief message to parties, candidates and their supporters this week, INEC chairman, Mahmood Yakubu, said:

    Have you seen this video?

    Question of the week

    This week marked the second anniversary of the historic #EndSARS protests of 2020. We’ve spoken to activists to hear what has changed about police brutality since then, but we’d also like to hear from you.

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    Nigeria is still suffering from the devastation of floods that have affected millions of people and are expected to cause problems till the end of November. Please follow us to keep up to date on government warnings in case you’re in an area at risk of flooding.

    Don’t forget to lend a helping hand to victims in whichever way you can.

    Samson Toromade

  • It’s Raining Nigerian Doctors in the UK

    It’s Raining Nigerian Doctors in the UK

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    It's Raining Nigerian Doctors in the UK

    If you’re feeling mischievous and throw a stone into a United Kingdom hospital, there are good odds it’ll land on a Nigerian-trained doctor who’ll scream, “Wetin be that?” 

    Seven years ago when Buhari became president, only 233 Nigerian-trained doctors moved to the UK. But that’s only 33 more than the 200 Nigerian doctors who moved to the UK in September 2022 alone.

    If you had to guess how many Nigerian-trained doctors have relocated to the United Kingdom the entire year, what would your number be? According to the UK’s General Medical Council, the number of fleeing doctors between January and September is 1,307.

    It's Raining Nigerian Doctors in the UK

    And there are more doctors waiting on the queue to get out of the country [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    For a country that already has a shortage of doctors in the health sector, losing even one doctor to other countries is a concern. To lose 1,307 professionals in just nine months is a tragedy. According to research by BMJ Global Health, low and middle-income countries lose $15.86 billion annually when locally-trained doctors migrate to high-income countries. The greatest total costs are incurred by India, Pakistan, South Africa and, of course, Nigeria ($3.1 billion).

    The unchecked loss of highly-qualified doctors to new dispensations poses a threat to Nigeria’s already troubled health sector. Not only is it a loss of human capital with economic consequences, but can be a matter of life and death for Nigerians that need quality care.

    It's Raining Nigerian Doctors in the UK

    [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    Nigerian doctors, like other Nigerians surfing the japa wave, are fleeing poor working and living conditions in pursuit of better opportunities abroad, and you have to wonder when the Nigerian government will tackle the exodus with ideas more sophisticated than just simply chaining them to hospital beds.

    What else happened this week?

    The 2023 presidential election is finally gaining life

    The top three candidates for the 2023 presidential election finally breathed some life into their campaigns two weeks too late. On September 28, 2022, the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) officially opened the floor for candidates to start campaigning, but all three have been sluggish with kicking things off. 

    What changed this week?

    The candidate of the Labour Party (LP), Peter Obi, announced a presidential campaign council comprising 1,234 (seriously, this number isn’t a joke) members. Former presidential spokesperson and Obi’s current ride-or-die, Doyin Okupe, is the campaign’s director-general. Okupe boasted Obi already has a minimum of 15 million votes waiting for him at the polls, as long as INEC doesn’t do anyhow. 

    Notably, Obi skipped the committee’s unveiling ceremony for a speaking engagement at the ICAN 52nd Annual Accountants Conference. But with how low the standards have got, you’re just thankful he wasn’t off somewhere in London secretly treating an undisclosed illness.

    The candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Atiku Abubakar, officially flagged off his campaign and promised Nigerians would never again suffer from hunger and insecurity.

    It's Raining Nigerian Doctors in the UK

    [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    But his campaign is still haunted by the ghost of Rivers State governor, Nyesom Wike, who predictably didn’t show up at the campaign launch, putting a question mark on Atiku’s high regard for himself as a unifier. In fact, days later, the party postponed two campaign outings in two states reportedly to give the candidate more time to patch things with Wike.

    The candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Bola Tinubu, also oversaw the launch of the party’s Women Presidential Campaign Committee. He charged his campaigners to preach his gospel and politely tell people that want his party out of government to shut their dirty mouths. It’s a great way to endear yourself to undecided voters if the goal is to lose the election.

    Question of the week

    What should the Nigerian government be doing about the ongoing flooding crisis that it isn’t already doing?

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    The governor of Rivers State, Nyesom Wike, appointed over 28,000 officials for political units this week. When you get over the taxpayer cost of these appointments, you have to wonder if the governor is preparing for an imminent war the rest of us don’t know about.

    Samson Toromade

    , , , , ,

  • INEC Has a James Bond Plan for the 2023 Elections, Sort Of

    INEC Has a James Bond Plan for the 2023 Elections, Sort Of

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    Anyone who envies the job of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) is a bloody liar. Every four years, the commission coordinates a national election involving tens of millions of voters spread across 774 local government areas in Nigeria. 

    And considering the dire consequences of messing up an election, we’d say INEC’s job isn’t the easiest in the world. Some of us can’t even organise a house party without a guest peeing in the kitchen sink.

    INEC Has A James Bond Plan For The 2023 Elections, Sort Of

    [Image source: Shutterstock]

    With the scale of INEC’s task, it’s unsurprising that there are problems. For example, Nigerian elections have suffered from violent acts like ballot snatching and voter intimidation for as long as anyone remembers. 

    But another problem that has prominently hampered Nigerian elections is vote-buying. Party agents target vulnerable voters at the polls and pay them to vote for their candidates. 

    This culture cheapens the democratic process and boosts the victory chances of only the unworthy and desperate. But INEC has a solution for that vote-buying problem ahead of the 2023 elections: secret agents.

    INEC Has A James Bond Plan For The 2023 Elections, Sort Of

    [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    One of INEC’s core strategies to clamp down on vote-buying is to unleash spies on polling units. These James Bond wannabes are plain-clothed security officers deployed to catch vote-buyers and sellers. But INEC won’t stop there. 

    The agency is also repositioning voting cubicles to make it easier for voters to cast secret ballots. This creates a trust issue between buyers and sellers as a vote-buyer can’t confirm that the seller is voting in the direction agreed between both parties. And if you’re thinking, “That’s what phone cameras are for, duh,” INEC also plans to forbid voters from taking their mobile phones into the voting cubicles.

    INEC Has A James Bond Plan For The 2023 Elections, Sort Of

    [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    Vote-buying is a very serious problem for Nigeria’s democratic process. The nation’s laws already criminalise the buying and selling of votes with a maximum fine of ₦500,000, 12 months imprisonment or both. But this isn’t enough to deter politicians from buying the conscience of voters.

    However, INEC’s James Bond plan won’t be enough to limit vote-buying. As a voter on election day, when you see something at a polling booth, say something. Your future depends on it.

    What else happened this week?

    Ethiopia withdraws red carpet treatment for Nigerian travellers

    [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    Nigerians must be crowned the eighth wonder of the world with all the shege that we use our eyes to see as citizens of Nigeria. This week, the Ethiopian government announced that Nigerians have to apply for a visa before they hop on a plane to visit their — let’s not forget — very war-torn country. Before this announcement, Nigerians could jump on that plane first and get a visa on arrival there.

    Ethiopia didn’t even dignify Nigeria with an explanation for why it made this decision, but the same restriction applies to 41 other countries mainly in Africa and South America. At least we can say it’s not only us, but this isn’t about just Ethiopia. The country’s action continues a worrying trend of visa restrictions hurting Nigerians.

    In September, the United Arab Emirates (UAE) reviewed its visa regime and stopped issuing tourist visas to Nigerians under the age of 40 years, except for those applying for family visas. Earlier in July, Turkey also barred Nigerian applicants from accessing the e-visa provisions and they didn’t even bother to announce it. Nigerians need answers as their movement around the world is made harder by the colour of their passports.

    INEC Has A James Bond Plan For The 2023 Elections, Sort Of

    Let my people go! [Image source: Zikoko Memes]

    In times like this, you have to wonder what the Minister of Foreign Affairs is doing, and we assure you his name isn’t Abike Dabiri-Erewa.

    Have you seen this video?

    Question of the week

    What’s the single most important thing you think Buhari needs to do before he leaves office next year?

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    It’s only months until the 2023 general elections and Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu announced salary increments for civil service workers in Lagos State. You’re not sleek Cousin Jide. We know vote-buying when we see it.

    Samson Toromade

    , , ,

  • Nigeria Is Living in the Days of Noah, Again

    Nigeria Is Living in the Days of Noah, Again

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    Nigeria has a very short list of frequent natural disasters: Ponzi schemes, politicians and destructive annual floods.

    Over the past week, thousands of people living in Kogi State became homeless after invasive floods visited them and decided to feel at home. Many of these victims have raised alarm about their fate, but this isn’t just a story about Kogi.

    Flood in Nigeria

    Source: Twitter/@AlejiOjay

    This year, more than half a million Nigerians have suffered the same watery fate witnessed in Kogi this week. Between January and August alone, flood incidents in 33 states killed 372 people, according to statistics from the National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA). And the sad thing is there’s nothing special about what’s happening because it repeats itself every year.

    Heavy rainfalls cause much of these flood incidents but there’s a man-made aspect to it too. Every year, Cameroonian officials release excess water from Lagdo Dam. The excess water knows no boundaries and travels, without a visa, through the River Niger and Benue to wreak havoc in Nigeria. This happens every year, yet the government hardly ever prepares for it other than to raise alarm.

    Flood in Nigeria

    In fact, Kogi’s Commissioner for Environment, Victor Omofaiye, was upset that the victims ignored NEMA’s warnings to move to higher ground, even though there’s little evidence the government provided them with alternatives. The state government is now scrambling to provide relief for those affected by appealing to the Federal Government and non-governmental organisations (NGOs).

    Until that help comes, at least the affected residents can console themselves with these shamelessly-branded boats the Kogi State first lady, Rashida Yahaya Bello, donated before this week’s severe floods.

    Flood in Nigeria

    Source: Blueprint

    What Else Happened This Week?

    The Battle for Who’ll Inherit Buhari’s Mess Is Live!

    Presidential candidates have been heavily flirting with Nigerians for the past couple of months but that’s just pre-marital sex in election campaign terms. It wasn’t until September 28, 2022 that the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) blew the whistle for the official start of campaigns. 

    This leaves the floor open for candidates to commence the battle for the unique honour of becoming the man or woman who inherits Buhari-shaped trials and tribulations from May 29, 2023.

    The candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Atiku Abubakar, flagged off his campaign with the launch of a range of books that are about him. He also released a 15-minute video address promising to be Nigeria’s great unifier, never mind that he’s been struggling to unite his own party.

    The candidate of the Labour Party (LP), Peter Obi, flagged off his campaign at a solidarity rally with his supporters in Jos, Plateau State. It was an auspicious day for him too because Bloomberg News released the result of a poll that showed him as the clear favourite to win next year’s election. It’s the third major poll he’s won in weeks, but February is still a long time away.

    The candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Bola Tinubu, launched his own campaign with a press statement after he flew to London and cancelled his scheduled campaign event. There has to be something about London that seduces Nigerian presidents and presidential hopefuls and we’d like to know so we can use it to keep them here.

    Flood in Nigeria

    On February 25, 2023, more than 90 million Nigerians will have the opportunity to pick the country’s next president from a pool of 17 men and one woman. The time to pay attention and choose your fighter starts now.

    Have You Seen This Video?

    Ehen, one more thing…

    Nigeria’s national grid collapsed for the seventh time in 2022 this week and sent Nigerians back into familiar darkness. At what point are we taking it to Shiloh for deliverance?

    Samson Toromade

    , , , , , ,

  • FG’s Unstoppable Force Meets ASUU’s Immovable Object

    FG’s Unstoppable Force Meets ASUU’s Immovable Object

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    If the ongoing ASUU strike is a scripted show, this week is the point where all the three armies clash on the open battlefield to settle scores.

    Huffing and puffing on one end is ASUU, the titular star of the show fighting for affection. Staring at it with contempt on the other end is the Federal Government, the toxic boss spending its employees’ pension on G-Wagon.

    If you take time to look into the distance, you will find Nigerian students groaning in pain as the two armies flex their muscles at each other. 

    What happens when all three meet in the open field?

    ASUU Strike

    Students set the pace for this week’s chaos when the National Association of Nigerian Students (NANS) mobilised members to block the Lagos-Ibadan expressway last week. 
    On Monday, September 19, they stepped it up when they blocked the Lagos International Airport Road and threatened to move the action to the Third Mainland Bridge. The underdogs of the story also promised not to allow political campaigns run smoothly in the country. Their simple demand was for the two agbayas to kiss and make up immediately so they can return to class.

    ASUU Strike

    The government didn’t like the disruptions the students caused so it turned its attention to ASUU. While it was having an unsuccessful civil dialogue with ASUU, it was also exploring a nuclear option to get the union back to work — the National Industrial Court (NIC).

    The court commenced hearing on Monday after the government filed a case against ASUU to challenge the strike. The government’s main request to the court is to determine if the ASUU strike is legal and if striking lecturers are entitled to salaries while on strike.

    ASUU Strike

    On Wednesday, September 21, the industrial court ordered ASUU back to work while the key arguments are resolved. The government, students and their parents are happy with the decision, but ASUU is appealing the judgement.

    So we’re asking:  What’s the worst possible thing that can happen when you force unhappy workers back to work for a toxic boss?

    What Else Happened This Week?

    It’s Not The Best Time To Be A Ponmo Lover

    Ponmo isn’t the fanciest of the beef class — it doesn’t make the noisemakers’ list but sits quietly without disturbing anyone. It’s even probably nice enough to piss on you if you were on fire. But this week, the Federal Government came for ponmo.

    The director-general of the Nigerian Institute of Leather and Science Technology (NILEST), Muhammad Yakubu, is on a crusade to retire ponmo as a culinary option for Nigerians. 

    As far as we know, ponmo isn’t responsible for why no one’s ever heard of NILEST, but stopping Nigerians from eating the cow skin meat would apparently boost leather production in Nigeria.

    To sell his pitch, Yakubu slandered ponmo with the argument that it holds no nutritional value. His proposal may sound like a joke, but he’s already lobbying members of the National Assembly to help him ban ponmo from the dinner table. All for the sake of leather.

    It’s certainly a tricky situation for ponmo because this is apparently not just a clout-chasing cry for attention by NILEST. 

    If this goes to the National Assembly, Nigeria has to decide between ponmo or a thriving leather industry. If you’re a ponmo lover, this is the time to defend its honour.

    Have You Seen This Video?

    Question of the Week

    What’s your favourite Buhari nickname?

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    Senator Ike Ekweremadu has only been sitting in a UK prison for three months and there’s a lawyer in court back home begging to replace him in the Senate.

    It’s true what they say about the mice hosting a feast in the kitchen when the cat’s on vacation, huh?

    Samson Toromade

    , , ,

  • Dear Nigerian Politicians, Don’t Make Assassinations Great Again

    Dear Nigerian Politicians, Don’t Make Assassinations Great Again

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    Dear Nigerian Politicians, Don't Make Assassinations Great Again

    There was a time when political assassination, and the dread of it, was a feature of Nigerian politics and everyone was happy to be rid of those bad old days over the past decade. But the ugliness of it crept back in the past week in two significant ways: one real and one theatrically absurd.

    Dear Nigerian Politicians, Don't Make Assassinations Great Again

    On September 11, 2022, gunmen ambushed the convoy of Senator Ifeanyi Ubah (Anambra South – YPP) in Anambra State and killed two police officers and three civilians. His bulletproof vehicle was the only reason the first-time senator escaped death.

    Naturally, many prominent Nigerians condemned the attack for being barbaric. One of them was the presidential candidate of the Labour Party (LP), Peter Obi, who’s a former Anambra State governor. What Obi didn’t know at the time was that he was about to have his own brush with assassination but in the most absurd manner.

    You may remember Festus Keyamo as a social crusader, but he’s also the campaign spokesperson for the candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Bola Tinubu.

    On September 12, 2022, Keyamo accused Obi of planning to fake an assassination attempt on himself to frame the APC and win some sympathy points. He didn’t provide a source for his allegation other than, “Trust me bro”, but he called the plot a part of the “US Strategy”, like that gives it any sort of authenticity.

    Dear Nigerian Politicians, Don't Make Assassinations Great Again

    Obi’s camp quickly dismissed the allegation and turned it around, tagging it as Tinubu’s camp floating the idea of assassinating the former governor. It wasn’t a surprise that fake reports circulated online later on September 12 that gunmen attacked Obi’s convoy in Abuja.

    Even for someone of Keyamo’s infamous temperament, weaponising assassination ahead of the 2023 general elections is nothing short of reckless, especially in light of the Ubah attack. 

    This isn’t the best time in Nigerian history to bring back the grim days of Bola Ige and Funsho Williams. 

    Dear Nigerian politicians, please apply some decorum.

    What Else Happened This Week?

    The Rise (and Fall) of Ransom Negotiators

    Nigeria’s kidnap-for-ransom industry has grown in leaps and bounds over the past seven years. The industry generates hundreds of millions of naira provided by families of victims. With that much money on the table, it’s only natural that we have seen the rise of a new career option for Nigerians: ransom negotiators. One of them is Tukur Mamu.

    Mamu’s main bread and butter is journalism, but he negotiated the release of some of the train passengers that terrorists kidnapped in March 2022. He has also been very loud about the government ensuring the safe and speedy return of the passengers with two dozen still in captivity six months later.

    The government heard his voice and decided to slam him with charges, accusing him of collaborating with the terrorists. The main charge is that he’s been pretending to be a referee in a game where he’s actually the 12th man for the terrorists.

    The Nigerian government doesn’t have very high regard for ransom negotiators, and Mamu’s developing court trial could set the tone for their future in the Nigerian kidnapping ecosystem.

    Have You Seen This Video?

    Question of the Week

    How long did Nigeria’s second republic last?

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    Governor Ben Ayade of Cross River State became a punctuality prefect this week when he locked out civil service workers who didn’t resume on time for work at the Government House. 

    It’d be nice to see him transfer that energy into pretending to be a state governor and pay the workers he owes.

    Samson Toromade

    , , ,

  • Game of Votes: Terrorism Will End in December. Buhari Has Promised

    Game of Votes: Terrorism Will End in December. Buhari Has Promised

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    Game of Votes

    Finally, some good news for Nigerians: Buhari’s special Christmas gift is to end terrorism completely by the end of the year.

    Game of Votes

    President Buhari’s ascent to the number one seat in the country rested on his promise to end insecurity in Nigeria. Voters believed him easily because he’s a retired military general and that should mean he can crush terrorism with just his side eye if he stares really hard.

    Game of Votes

    But the president must have only been squinting at terrorists as insecurity escalated over the past seven years. He definitely tightened the noose on Boko Haram, but a different kind of terrorism with no religious buzz rose in other regions of the country. Those terrorists have attacked Nigerians in their homes, on the road, on train tracks and even at the airport.

    The president is sick of that now and has ordered the country’s security agencies to do their jobs and secure the country. The Minister of Interior, Rauf Aregbesola, who’s known more for announcing public holidays than his spectacular failure to manage internal security, announced the government’s new resolve at a joint security press conference this week.

    The minister said the day is coming when Nigerians can sleep with their two eyes closed again because their security is guaranteed. And by December 2022, peace is scheduled to be restored to every inch of Nigeria. Buhari has ordered it and so shall it be.

    The government’s latest promise would be the kind of news to toast cheap bottles of wine to, except we’ve been here before many times under Buhari. We’ll believe it when we see it.

    What Else Happened This Week?

    Unpaid Police Officers Are Losing Their Wives to Okada Riders

    Game of Votes

    Even by Nigerian standards, police officers taking to the streets to protest against unpaid wages is a terrifying nightmare. Yet, that’s what police special constabularies in Osogbo, Osun State did on September 7th, 2022.

    For context, these officers are part of the Community Policing Constabulary Scheme. They assist the main police force with grassroots tasks like intelligence gathering and reporting cases. So, they’re like the errand boys of the Nigeria Police Force (NPF).

    The constables complained that the government failed to pay their salaries for 18 months, and you can imagine what that means with the state of this economy. Inflation is skyrocketing and the cost of living isn’t anybody’s mate right now. But even worse than that, the protesters were unhappy that the sapa choking them was making them lose their wives to okada riders. It was enough of a significant problem that one of them wrote, “Okada riders are sleeping with our wives” on a placard at the protest.

    Game of Votes

    The NPF didn’t roll out tanks, water canons and tear gas against the protesters like they do to civilians. But the Osun State Commissioner of Police, Adewale Olokode, did have strong words for them. He called them an embarrassment and expected them to communicate their grievances more privately according to protocol.

    Every worker deserves his fair wages, and it’s abundantly clear why the government should never neglect to pay the allowances of police officers. A failure to do so is the kind of thing that leads them to extort innocent Nigerians, and extortion is just the gateway drug for crooked cops to get worse. The government should pay them so they can get their wives back.

    Have You Seen This Video?

    Question of the Week

    What are the names of the two top politicians who recently turned skit makers? (Hint: One is a former minister and the other is a former senator.)

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    We may not be in the days of Noah, but deadly floods have wrecked thousands of lives in 33 states and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) since the beginning of the year. Buhari says he’s on top of things, but who believes anything that guy says these days?

    Samson Toromade

    , , , , ,

  • Game of Votes: The Nigeria Police Force Wants to Steal Your Heart

    Game of Votes: The Nigeria Police Force Wants to Steal Your Heart

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    The public image of the Nigeria Police Force (NPF) is as black as the uniform the officers wear. And when Nigerians protested with the call to #EndSARS in 2020, the police washed their very dirty underwear, overwear and all sorts of wears before the global community.

    To gain a bit more control over the narrative, there are now many police spokespersons on Twitter directly attending to public complaints. But these spokespersons still do messy things like trying to act savage or victim-blame.

    Game of Votes

    The NPF is now trying to mend fences with Nigerians through the magic restorative power of improved public relations. This week, the Inspector-General, Usman Baba, announced plans to launch a Police PR School for officers. This school will focus on things like behaviour management, professionalism, and hopefully, the medicine that banishes the spirit of extortion and high-handedness.

    That training can start with the Force spokesperson himself to prevent more tweets like this:

    Game of Votes

    Whatever the NPF is cooking here, improved engagement with Nigerians shouldn’t be about putting paper over cracks, but committing to true reforms that Nigerians can get behind. For starters, it would be nice for officers to stop extorting Nigerians. We don’t have anything for the boys.

    What Else Happened This Week?

    Nigerian Politicians Can’t Stay in One Place — It’s Science

    One thing you can always trust a Nigerian politician to do is fornicate with party membership, especially around elections.

    On August 29th, 2022, the presidential candidate of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP), Atiku Abubakar, travelled down to Kano for a lavish celebration. The party held the ceremony in honour of a prodigal son that had just returned to its fold — Senator Ibrahim Shekarau.

    Game of Votes

    Shekarau left the PDP in 2018 when he joined the All Progressives Congress (APC). And there was similar fanfare when he dumped the APC for the New Nigeria People’s Party (NNPP) three months ago in May 2022.

    Shekarau proves the science that Nigerian politicians can’t be trusted to stick to one party, and you can always expect them to move in the thirst for power. Even the Atiku that went to welcome him in Kano has moved across parties four times since 2007. Well, he wants to be president, and the game is the game. 

    Game of Votes

    What this culture of repeated defection highlights is there are no ideological principles guiding Nigeria’s politics. No wonder the country is in the state that it is.

    Have You Seen This Video?

    Question of the Week

    How many Nigerian political parties are participating in the 2023 general elections?

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    Buhari publicly assured Nigerians he’ll allow them to vote for whoever they want in 2023, and we can only wonder, “What kind of democratic president allows democratic stuff to happen?” Such a weird guy.

    Don’t forget to subscribe to the Game of Votes newsletter.

    Samson Toromade

    , , ,

  • Is Kneeling The New Twale?

    Is Kneeling The New Twale?

    This is Zikoko’s Game of Votes Weekly Dispatch. We share the most important things that happen in Nigeria every week. 5pm Thursdays. Stay woke. 

    Beggi Beggi, E No Good O    

    Who knew Yahaya Bello, governor of Kogi State, was so influential? He definitely yields some kind of power over the who’s who in Nigerian politics if a whole Madame First Lady, Aisha Buhari, and Nasir El Rufai, Kaduna State Governor, can kneel in front of residents of Kogi state during a campaign on his behalf, begging them to vote him in for his second term as governor. 

    Where Did This Happen?

    Their theatre performance held at the Confluence Stadium in Lokoja, in front of a teeming crowd and an intrigued audience. We were intrigued when we heard that the hardcore El-Rufai fell on his knees, telling everyone to disregard the fact that Bello didn’t do anything worthwhile in his state during his first term. 

    Even more ridiculous was the fact that El-Rufai deemed it reasonable to blame Yahaya Bello’s failings on his youth, stating that everyone should forgive him for his bad governance: “For every one that the governor has offended, I’m asking all of you to forgive him. He is young; he is supposed to make mistakes. When you are young, you make mistakes but you learn from them.”

    Hmmm, colour us shocked that El-Rufai took a cue from Daddy Bubu with a spinoff of the lazy Nigeria youths mantra as if that’s a good enough excuse for Governor Bello’s ineptitude and nonpayment of salaries.

    And Where Was Yahaya Bello While This Was Happening?

    Right beside the two jokers grinning from ear to ear, probably thinking up ways to spend that N10 billion that was approved by the Senate two days to the Kogi state elections; budget padding things.

    Nothing New, Just Election Insecurity Here And There 

    Bayelsa and Kogi state held their gubernatorial election on Saturday, and as usual, mayhem and hell broke loose on election day. What would Nigeria be if thugs don’t appear to snatch ballot boxes and disrupt every electoral proceeding, basically spitting in the face of INEC?  

    Okay, Seriously, What’s New?

    Amid all the sporadic shootings and killings in the rerun senatorial elections in Kogi, Dino Melaye’s stated that his nephew got killed by a policeman’s bullet. Is this true or not? We’re not sure; it came from the horse’s mouth, so even though we take everything Melaye says with a pinch of salt we’re trying to believe that he wouldn’t joke about something so serious, least of all try to use it for political clout.

    Meanwhile…

    Meanwhile, Goodluck Jonathan was hella upset with members of his political party because of his alleged disagreement with the ex-governor of Bayelsa State, Seriake Dickson, over PDP’s decision to have Douye Diri run as the candidate for the Bayelsa State governor race.

    The tea is that Goodluck Jonathan didn’t throw his weight behind Douye Diri; he didn’t lift a finger to support that poor man’s campaign, subtly giving APC a chance to become the ruling party in Bayelsa for the first time in history. The beef must have been strong for Daddy Jonah to quietly sabotage his party because of personal grievances, hope this won’t come back to bite him in the ass sha.

    DID YOU MISS THIS?

    1. Bukola Dakolo’s case was dismissed by Justice Oathman A. Musa, who said that she was “insensitive” to the court of law and totally “sentimental”; Timi Dakolo had a lot to say about that matter.
    2. The African giant is taking over the world! On the heels of his expected trip to South Africa, after saying he’ll NEVER go back there, Burna Boy gets nominated for the GRAMMYS baby! 

    NOT.THE.NEWS

    Do you remember all the drama that Nigerian politicians have engaged in throughout the years? Do you even recall the name Dimeji Bankole? Well, since the 2010s are wrapping up we decided to create a list of some of the biggest political scandals Nigerians have been forced to experience by our craziest leaders.

    Our fellas are still on the Jollof Road chopping the life of their heads but they’ve finally given a hint that all might not be as rosy as we thought on this road trip. Regardless of that though, we still believe they’re living the best life right now, at least they get to see all of West Africa while we are stuck here in Lagos traffic.

    Ministry is moving

    The dispatch is growing. If you enjoyed reading this, share this with someone, you hear?

    Are you subscribed to our political newsletter Game of Votes? You should be subscribed to our political newsletter, Game of Votes. Here’s a link to subscribe if you’re not.

    We tell you the most important things that happened in Nigeria, during the week, in a way that won’t bore you to death.

    Gabriella Opara

    Gabriella Opara

    , ,

  • Is Kneeling The New Twale?

    Is Kneeling The New Twale?

    This is Zikoko’s Game of Votes Weekly Dispatch. We share the most important things that happen in Nigeria every week. 5pm Thursdays. Stay woke. 

    Beggi Beggi, E No Good O    

    Who knew Yahaya Bello, governor of Kogi State, was so influential? He definitely yields some kind of power over the who’s who in Nigerian politics if a whole Madame First Lady, Aisha Buhari, and Nasir El Rufai, Kaduna State Governor, can kneel in front of residents of Kogi state during a campaign on his behalf, begging them to vote him in for his second term as governor. 

    Where Did This Happen?

    Their theatre performance held at the Confluence Stadium in Lokoja, in front of a teeming crowd and an intrigued audience. We were intrigued when we heard that the hardcore El-Rufai fell on his knees, telling everyone to disregard the fact that Bello didn’t do anything worthwhile in his state during his first term. 

    Even more ridiculous was the fact that El-Rufai deemed it reasonable to blame Yahaya Bello’s failings on his youth, stating that everyone should forgive him for his bad governance: “For every one that the governor has offended, I’m asking all of you to forgive him. He is young; he is supposed to make mistakes. When you are young, you make mistakes but you learn from them.”

    Hmmm, colour us shocked that El-Rufai took a cue from Daddy Bubu with a spinoff of the lazy Nigeria youths mantra as if that’s a good enough excuse for Governor Bello’s ineptitude and nonpayment of salaries.

    And Where Was Yahaya Bello While This Was Happening?

    Right beside the two jokers grinning from ear to ear, probably thinking up ways to spend that N10 billion that was approved by the Senate two days to the Kogi state elections; budget padding things.

    Nothing New, Just Election Insecurity Here And There 

    Bayelsa and Kogi state held their gubernatorial election on Saturday, and as usual, mayhem and hell broke loose on election day. What would Nigeria be if thugs don’t appear to snatch ballot boxes and disrupt every electoral proceeding, basically spitting in the face of INEC?  

    Okay, Seriously, What’s New?

    Amid all the sporadic shootings and killings in the rerun senatorial elections in Kogi, Dino Melaye’s stated that his nephew got killed by a policeman’s bullet. Is this true or not? We’re not sure; it came from the horse’s mouth, so even though we take everything Melaye says with a pinch of salt we’re trying to believe that he wouldn’t joke about something so serious, least of all try to use it for political clout.

    Meanwhile…

    Meanwhile, Goodluck Jonathan was hella upset with members of his political party because of his alleged disagreement with the ex-governor of Bayelsa State, Seriake Dickson, over PDP’s decision to have Douye Diri run as the candidate for the Bayelsa State governor race.

    The tea is that Goodluck Jonathan didn’t throw his weight behind Douye Diri; he didn’t lift a finger to support that poor man’s campaign, subtly giving APC a chance to become the ruling party in Bayelsa for the first time in history. The beef must have been strong for Daddy Jonah to quietly sabotage his party because of personal grievances, hope this won’t come back to bite him in the ass sha.

    DID YOU MISS THIS?

    1. Bukola Dakolo’s case was dismissed by Justice Oathman A. Musa, who said that she was “insensitive” to the court of law and totally “sentimental”; Timi Dakolo had a lot to say about that matter.
    2. The African giant is taking over the world! On the heels of his expected trip to South Africa, after saying he’ll NEVER go back there, Burna Boy gets nominated for the GRAMMYS baby!

    NOT.THE.NEWS

    Do you remember all the drama that Nigerian politicians have engaged in throughout the years? Do you even recall the name Dimeji Bankole? Well, since the 2010s are wrapping up we decided to create a list of some of the biggest political scandals Nigerians have been forced to experience by our craziest leaders.

    Our fellas are still on the Jollof Road chopping the life of their heads but they’ve finally given a hint that all might not be as rosy as we thought on this road trip. Regardless of that though, we still believe they’re living the best life right now, at least they get to see all of West Africa while we are stuck here in Lagos traffic.

    Ministry is moving

    The dispatch is growing. If you enjoyed reading this, share this with someone, you hear?

    Are you subscribed to our political newsletter Game of Votes? You should be subscribed to our political newsletter, Game of Votes. Here’s a link to subscribe if you’re not.

    We tell you the most important things that happened in Nigeria, during the week, in a way that won’t bore you to death.

    Gabriella Opara

    , ,