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Eat | Zikoko!
  • The Best Bread Types Ever, Ranked by Nigerian Bread Lovers

    The Best Bread Types Ever, Ranked by Nigerian Bread Lovers

    Whether you’re a fan of fluffy slices or crispy crusts, bread is a staple that rises to the occasion at every meal. Let’s break bread with Nigeria’s most beloved bread types, according to those who knead it the most. We asked around and this is what Nigerians think of the most popular bread types, from mid to upper crust.

    Raisin bread

    Raisin bread is rich and filling, but not everyone likes the too-sweet raisins.

    Wheat bread

    Source: 31 Daily

    Whole wheat bread might be a healthier alternative due to its higher fibre content, but let’s all just admit we find it less palatable compared to the sweeter and softer white bread.

    Brioche bread

    Is it bread or is it a pastry? Buttery and sweet, this one gives luxury or special-occasion bread because it simply always costs more — or maybe it just looks like it does? Either way, Nibbles Bread is about to introduce its version, and we guarantee it’ll be easy on the pocket.

    Tea buns

    Tea buns are enjoyed as a treat, especially with tea or coffee, but like brioche, they tend to be considered more of a snack than a staple.

    Sliced bread

    It’s convenient, good for sandwiches and widely available. But beyond being the perfect plain base for peanut butter and anything else you might like, it’s simply not that tasty on its own like the bread types above it.

    Sardine bread

    Great for when you want something savoury without having to spend on a spread or filling after buying your bread. The only reason why it’s not top of the list is because if it’s not fresh, it’s nasty.

    Coconut bread

    Source: Amy’s Delicious Mess

    It’s like biting into a sweet, nutty hug from the one Grandma who always brings you Gurundi and Shuku Shuku when she visits. Whether you enjoy this soft, moist bread plain or slathered in your favourite spread, it’s always a win. Throw in the health benefits of the coconut’s fibre and healthy fats, and what’s not to love? The only downside is how scarce it is.

    White loaf

    Source: Conde Nast Traveler

    Are you really surprised this is at the top of the ranking? Soft, fluffy and sweet, this is the go-to that defines what a “bread” should be. The OG, Agege bread, is low-yeast, and all other types and brands model themselves after it. But Nibbles family loaf is fluffy and sweet with a good price and longevity.

    Nicknamed the “bread of life”, Nibbles is one of the best bread brands in Nigeria today. People, especially those who like their bread fluffy, love it for its quality and variety of options. Today, it has family loaves and tea buns, with many new variants on the way. Available on a quick stop at any Kilimanjaro restaurant or any store or supermarket nationwide.

    [ad]

    AND NOW: We Ranked Nigerian Bread Pairings From Worst To Best

  • Day in the Life of an IJGB in Lagos on a Food Adventure

    Day in the Life of an IJGB in Lagos on a Food Adventure

    When Flavour sang, “Better food, na money kill am,” he knew what he was doing, and I’m sure he didn’t mean the song only in the confines of man and woman but on actual Foood! How do I know this? My father decided to bring us home again for another holiday, and being the adventurous person that I am, especially with food, I just knew that spending my Easter holiday in Nigeria couldn’t be spent indoors again, and I’m glad I made that decision. Now that I’m back in the US, I can look back and say this was the best decision I made, although it could have been better because of the unnecessary shege I experienced before finally discovering a dining reservation app ‘Reisty’ which could have been totally avoided.

    Of course, as the Explorer that I am, I explored Lagos alone at first which I immediately regretted. For a home buddy, you would almost think you are self-sufficient, too much consumption of lifestyle Instagram content made me feel like one of those creators, and so I took my phone stand, airpods and decided to venture into Lagos, totally forgetting how Lagosians took advantage of IJGBs (I just got back from the diaspora, usually for the holidays) and generally people who are new in places and embarked on a Lagos adventure. 

    As if being mugged wasn’t enough, my meals didn’t taste like they looked. Great ambiance but terrible food! But if you know me by now, I don’t give up; visions of bustling markets, vibrant nightlife, and delicious food danced in my head. The best meal I had will only get 4/10 in my books. But the resilient person in me doesn’t give up, so, we movee. 

    I went on Google and did a bunch of searches on the best restaurants in Lagos and the best reservation apps similar to opentable in Lagos (Opentable is a reservation application I use to book tables in the US) to ensure I had more than enough options. Of course, I saw a couple but something about Reisty lulled me in. I’ve always been a sucker for good-looking stuff and Reisty stood out for me. Installing the app was a breeze, I set up an account and my Reisty login was simple. Guess who saw a whole 2000 naira in their wallet? Meee! Thumbs up to Reisty for whoever came up with that genius idea.

    Perusing the restaurants was something I enjoyed doing because each restaurant profile had all the answers I needed, from menus to clear photos of the restaurant to the location and even genuine reviews from people who had visited the restaurant. The creativity of the Reisty app is one I love to experience over and over again. Lagosians, you really don’t know what this online dining reservation app has done for you until you try it.

    I tried the first restaurant with about 50% enthusiasm, because once bitten twice shy, and I’ll give them 100/100. The first restaurant I decided to try out was Mantra Lagos. I have heard a lot about this restaurant especially since I had a hidden interest in Indian culture and it looked like the perfect spot. It was so good, the ambiance, the food, and just everything was top-notch! 

    By the second restaurant, my excitement level had risen to 70% because I didn’t want to serve myself breakfast before the real breakfast. The expectation was surpassed, and now, I have 100% confidence in any restaurant on the Reisty app. 

    One thing I particularly love about Reisty is, it has no bad restaurants. Reisty had the right restaurants with great ambiance and even more fantastic food. Because of the shege I had seen, my first intention was to drag Reisty and the restaurants they had on blogs for their inconsistency, but I couldn’t because of the excellence at which everything went. The seamless location of restaurants made identifying restaurants, viewing menus, booking seats, and ordering food a breeze. 

    Restaurants are segmented based on categories, making it easy to explore restaurants that suited my vibes, from rooftops to restaurants with ocean views to Indian and many other categories

    The foodie in me has been upgraded because this adventure was top-notch. At this point, Reisty needs to employ me as their US-Nigerian ambassador because all my friends and family have downloaded the app. 

    To be very honest, whoever created the Reisty app had me in mind because my Lagos adventure went from potentially stressful to absolutely fantastic. I also got a free 2k in my Reisty wallet, so it was a win-win for me. I explored hidden corners of the city, experienced authentic Lagos culture, and, most importantly, had a blast doing it.

    To my fellow IJGBs, listen up! If you’re planning a Lagos adventure, just download the Reisty app from your app store, or playstore. You’ll definitely thank me later. Lagosians, I would also advice that you don’t sleep on this because it takes your outside game from zero to 100. Take this from a US resident. 

  • Five Reasons Why Your Christmas Menu Needs More Than Jollof and Fried Rice

    Five Reasons Why Your Christmas Menu Needs More Than Jollof and Fried Rice

    Christmas is in a couple of days. While the voice in your head might shout jollof rice, fried rice and salad in response, we urge you to consider other options this year. 

    You already eat one or the other every Sunday

    You’ve spent the entire year eating jollof and fried rice. Now that 2023 is winding to a close, do you want to continue with that? Let yourself and your taste buds rest, we beg of you.

    It’s a celebration 

    You made it through big 2023. It’s time to lay out an actual assortment of food and drinks and have a ball.

    You have enough time

    You have seven full weeks, all the time you’ll ever need to step up your cooking game and attend a Christmas class by a Guinness World Record holder herself. 

    Hilda Baci’s cooking class is just six days away, and you’ll get to learn over 160 recipes, five plating techniques, and let’s not forget the prizes you might win.

    There are other types of rice

    We understand that you, jollof rice and fried rice have an unbreakable bond. But we beg you to please allow the spirit of Christmas break whatever has joined the three of you together.

    To showcase your culinary prowess

    Think about it. What better chance will you get to test all the recipes you’ll learn from Hilda Baci’s Christmas cooking class on your unsuspecting family members? 

  • Bread Goes With EVERYTHING and We Have Proof

    Bread Goes With EVERYTHING and We Have Proof

    For a meal that’s a simple mixture of butter, flour, yeast and sugar, bread is the GOATed delicacy — yes, delicacy — man has ever made. 

    Nothing comes close to bread. You can make it on a stove or in an oven, it comes in different shapes and sizes, and you can pair it with literally anything and it’ll slap harder than a giveaway in this agbado era.

    Egusi

    Image sourced from foodrythms

    People might look at you sideways as you carefully spread your egusi on a thick slice of bread, but that shouldn’t concern you. They’ll never understand the greatness of such a pairing.

    Beans of any kind

    Image sourced from guardian.ng

    Do you know how bad you have to be to go into a family and marry all the members? The only person that comes close was Esau’s brother, Jacob, and we all know how much God loved him. Give it akara, ewa aganyin, palm oil beans, vegetable oil beans, and if you’re a real risk taker, gbegiri.

    Stew

    Image sourced from mydiasporakitchen

    If you can eat swallow and soup, then you can eat bread and stew. Make sure there’s an excess amount of protein in your stew, fold that bread, and eat to your heart’s content.

    Banana

    Image sourced from medicalnewstoday

    If you can eat banana bread, then you can slice a banana, place it between two slices of bread, and eat. 

    Pepsi

    Image sourced from nextcashandcarry

    Notice how we singled Pepsi out from its counterparts? Bread and all the other sodas are great, but bread and Pepsi? Your inner bricklayer will awaken, and you’ll feel like you can move mountains.

    Avocado

    Image sourced from jessicagavin

    Even though avocados look the way they do, we believe in the power of bread to make anything taste better than rice on a Sunday.

    Amala

    Image sourced from africanfoodnetwork

    We need you to have an open mind. People have attested to the greatness of this pairing. Plus, amala looks like chocolate.

    Indomie

    Image sourced from breakthespice

    If you plan on pairing cooked Indomie with bread then you have stand in front of the stove, take the indomie straight from the pot to the bread and into your mouth. It’ll slap so hard you’ll give testimonies for weeks to come.

    Ice cream

    Image sourced from swasthi’srecipes

    Think of it like bread and tea. Tear large chunks of bread into your bowl of ice cream, wait for it to steep, and then, scoop into your mouth.

    Egg

    Image sourced from bakerpedia

    One thing about bread, it’ll find other versatile foods and pair up with them. Bread and egg bangs, especially on a Saturday morning with a hot cup of tea to wash it down. And guess what. It can sleep with the mother too *wink.

    Anointing Olive oil

    We told you bread was for everyone — even the godly among us. Drizzle a light amount on your bread, let it soak in for a bit and eat. It’ll taste like a symphony in your mouth.

  • Burning Ram: Zikoko is COOKING the Biggest Meat Festival in Nigeria

    Burning Ram: Zikoko is COOKING the Biggest Meat Festival in Nigeria

    Hello friends of Zikoko,

    The last time we chatted, I was waxing lyrical about the hottest women’s festival in Nigeria, HERtitude. And if you were among the 1,500 women who showed up, you know Zikoko delivered the hottest festival for the hottest women in Lagos.

    Today, I bring you a Zikoko festival in the works since 2019: Burning Ram.


    Burning Ram is a meat festival bringing you and other food enthusiasts, creators and curators together to celebrate the Nigerian culture of meat and grill. We’re inviting you to enjoy the best suya, kilishi, asun, burgers, and interesting takes on common Nigerian meat snacks on September 30, 2023.

    Why is Zikoko doing this?

    The short answer: for your enjoyment.

    You must enjoy

    The better answer: A conversation around the lack of African cuisine representation in global conversations is brewing, and Burning Ram is our response. We’re elevating the world’s perception of food, one African dish at a time, by bringing together 3000 people to experience a world of expert grilling, spicing and meat.

    Burning Ram is not just an event about meat; our goal is to become pioneers of innovation, conversation and new experiences around African cuisine, starting with meat in Nigeria. Changing perceptions and appreciating a culture’s cuisine is a gradual process, and it starts with one plate, one dish, and one experience at a time.

    This is a big goal, and yes, we need your help to make it happen.

    Why should you attend Burning Ram? 

    If you love having a good time with your friends and family. If you love meat — from suya to kilishi that tastes like a rainy evening in Abuja. If you’re not afraid of trying new things, like akara burgers, then you should only be at Burning Ram on Saturday, September 30.

    [ad][/ad]

    What to expect at Burning Ram

    We promise you a spectacle. The festival will feature various activities including firebreather performances, eating contests, cooking competitions, tutorials, and music. Food lovers will have an opportunity to try out different types of meat in one place. 

    Fans of Zikoko VRSUS will also enjoy the Suya VRSUS Wars, which will feature a culinary chef versus a mallam. A suya-making tutorial class is another activity that participants can look forward to at the festival.

    We’re also running a raffle draw where one lucky attendee will win an actual ram. Yes, you read right. An actual live ram won to be prepared by experts and sent to the winner. 

    Be the first to get more details about these activities and find out when ticket sales begin by signing up here.

    Interested in becoming a sponsor?

    Burning Ram is bringing together over 3000 food enthusiasts, chefs, families, students, professionals, tourists and more. To share a part of this vision, kindly reach out to us here.

    How do you become a vendor?

    You want to showcase your take on meat and everything that can be paired with it at Burning Ram, then register as a vendor, and we’ll be in touch in a couple of weeks.

    Burning Ram promises to be an exciting festival for food lovers and meat enthusiasts. Come hungry.

  • Relax, Oreo Puff Puff Isn’t Actually That Bad

    Relax, Oreo Puff Puff Isn’t Actually That Bad

    If you recently scrolled through Twitter, you’ve probably seen Nigerians blowing hot after Tinu Erin, a UK-based foodpreneur shared pictures of Oreo puff-puff. How could she?

    Anyway, I spoke with Tinu and Oreo puff-puff doesn’t even top the list of her crazy but successful puff-puff experiments.

    Your Oreo puff-puff is driving Nigerians crazy at the moment. Why do you think so?

    A lot of them haven’t seen or heard of Oreo puff-puff till now.

    Relax, Oreo Puff Puff Isn’t Actually That Bad

    What inspired the twist?

    I like to experiment with cooking. Oreo puff-puff isn’t the craziest thing I’ve done with puff-puff. I’ve also made red velvet puff-puff, coconut puff-puff, kinder Bueno, etc. Lol. Food evolves, and there’s nothing wrong with experimenting once in a while.

    I mean, if people can add pepper and onions to puff-puff, why can’t I add Oreos?

    Fair point. Do you find regular puff-puff boring?

    No, I don’t. I actually have a readymade puff-puff mix line with three flavours. I love puff whether it’s the regular one, chocolate or spicy—I’m here for all of it.

    You might have to start a puff-puff fan club.

    I’m on it.

    Without giving away your full recipe, how does one make Oreo puff-puff?

    It’s pretty much the same way you make regular puff-puff. Just before frying your batter, dip your Oreo cookies (or whatever you’re crazy enough to try) in the batter. Scoop it like you would regular puff-puff and make sure the batter covers the whole Oreo, and then fry.

    Now I want to try it.

    Please do, I promise it’s not that bad. Also, it slaps with ice cream.

    I’ll be back with a review. So, if you had to break a Guinness World Record for puff-puff, what will that be?

    I think a record I could break would be the number of unique puff-puff flavours I can think up and make.

    What’s your hot take on Nigerian finger food?

    We make the best finger food, no one can deny that. I feel like we need to experiment more and try new things. I wonder how people will react to my Asun spring rolls and Suya spring rolls.

    I love the sound of Asun and Suya spring rolls.

    It’s delicious.

    Please take the survey here.

  • Tinubu Needs to Fix the Prices of These Food Items ASAP

    Tinubu Needs to Fix the Prices of These Food Items ASAP

    We just want our new president to reduce the costs of these food items within his first 100 days in office before we die of starvation. We’re not asking for too much from our new president. 

    Egg

    Tinubu Needs to Fix the Prices of These Food Items ASAP

    Source: Roselyn’s food house

    Remember when you could get an egg for ₦20 or ₦30? This ₦100 madness has to stop.

    Turkey

    Tinubu Needs to Fix the Prices of These Food Items ASAP

    Source: The Kitchen Muse

    It’s so wrong that turkey is now a protein option reserved for festive seasons in many households. Jagaban, please, run it for us. Let’s go back to the days of having a kilo of turkey for ₦1700.

    Beverages

    Forget fit fam, the ₦200 price tag on Coke, Fanta, Pepsi and the rest is probably why people now drink water more.

    Noodles

    Tinubu Needs to Fix the Prices of These Food Items ASAP

    Have you seen any pack of noodles going for ₦50? Exactly. The status quo needs to return ASAP.

    Garri

    A paint bucket of garri has no business being anywhere above ₦1k. We don’t have an exact figure in mind but definitely below a thousand.

    Bread

    Tinubu Needs to Fix the Prices of These Food Items ASAP

    Source: Taste Better From Scratch

    How did we get to the point where the price of sliced and agege bread are rubbing shoulders? Is this the upside down?

    Pure water

    Pure water needs to return to the days of ₦5 per sachet, and ₦100 per bag.

    Margarine

    Tinubu Needs to Fix the Prices of These Food Items ASAP

    Source: Twitter (@stylesbymorh)

    Everyone involved in making us pay over ₦1k for margarine must answer for their crimes. 

    Sardine

    Source: Dimsale Global

    ₦600 for a tin of sardines is criminal, and we’ve had enough. It might come in a golden tin, but IT. IS. NOT. GOLD. ₦200 or nothing, Mr President.

  • Shawarma Isn’t the Bae She Used to Be, Here’s Why

    Shawarma Isn’t the Bae She Used to Be, Here’s Why

    Miss Shawarma was that one meal we couldn’t get enough of because she was just perfect.

    Can’t say the same nowadays. It’s hard to put shawarma and class in the same sentence. So how did shawarma lose all her rizz?

    Shawarma Isn’t the Bae She Used to Be, Here’s Why

    Source: Kikifoodies

    Dated food bloggers

    Shawarma Isn’t the Bae She Used to Be, Here’s Why

    Shawarma’s real trouble started when she was discovered by food bloggers. All the mysterious things that made her so yummy became public knowledge—no thanks to the countless videos of  “How to make your own shawarma” on the interwebs.

    Too much (Pitta) bread

    Shawarma Isn’t the Bae She Used to Be, Here’s Why

    Source: Forks and Foliage

    Like hair to Samson, so is pitta bread to shawarma. The fact that you could walk into random supermarkets and buy pitta bread gave many people the idea that anyone can make shawarma.

    Everywhere you go like MTN

    Maybe we should blame it on the fact that Davido’s Unavailable came rather late.  Every bus stop in Lagos has a shawarma stand. Take a leaf from Davido’s book babes.

    Became a cheap babe

    It was a little harder to buy shawarma on a whim when the least we could pay was N2500 for a serving. Can’t say the same anymore with N500 shawarma everywhere. She needs to learn from seafood okra.

    Hopped on the Owambe train

    Shawarma Isn’t the Bae She Used to Be, Here’s Why

    Not our classy shawarma fighting for recognition with abula, ofada rice, and ewa aganyin at owambe functions. You can’t compete with the OGs like that.  Leave that to small chops.

    Became a people pleaser

    Shawarma’s dignity was intact when she was just for beef and chicken lovers. These days? There’s seafood, noodle, jollof, suya, mushroom and all sorts. Why dear? Everyone can’t like you and that’s okay.

    There’ll be loads to eat and drink at the hottest women-only party in Lagos on May 27th. Grab your HERtitude tickets here.

    Don’t leave without getting your ticket to HERtitude 2023!
  • You Only Need ₦1k to Prepare These 7 Nigerian Soups

    You Only Need ₦1k to Prepare These 7 Nigerian Soups

    This might sound like a joke, but SAPA does have a way of making you get creative with the resources at hand.

    We recently witnessed Twitter people murder ₦10k, but what if we told you it’s possible to make a decent pot of soup with ₦1k. We’ll show you how.

    Melon soup

    You Only Need ₦1k to Prepare These 7 Nigerian Soups

    Source: Sisiyemmie

    The key here is to stay within your budget, so don’t expect chunky proteins in your soup.

    What you need:

    Eja kika (round fish)– ₦300

    Cameroon pepper – ₦100

    Ground melon seeds – ₦200 (smallest tomato tin)

    Palm oil – ₦100

    Crayfish – ₦200

    Average spend: ₦900. Serves two.

    Groundnut soup

    You Only Need ₦1k to Prepare These 7 Nigerian Soups

    Source: Sisiyemmie

    Groundnut is for more than snacking on when you want to drink garri. Try this low budget soup instead.

    What you need:

    Roasted groundnut: ₦200

    Ponmo: ₦200

    Palm oil: ₦100

    Dried shawa fish: ₦300

    Cameroon pepper: ₦100.

    Total spend: ₦1000. Serves two.

    Assorted fried stew

    You Only Need ₦1k to Prepare These 7 Nigerian Soups

    Source: Mumj3kitchen

    Not exactly a baddie when it comes to soups, but you’ll have something to go with white rice. 

    Pepper – ₦300

    Ponmo – ₦200

    Crayfish- ₦100

    Smoked mackerel – ₦300

    Palm oil – ₦100

    P.S: Buy the pepper from Hausa roadside traders, and not the market women. Average spend: ₦1000. Serves two.

    Waterleaf vegetable soup

    You Only Need ₦1k to Prepare These 7 Nigerian Soups

    Source: Afrolems

    Who says you can’t have options with a N1000 budget? 

    What you need:

    Waterleaf: ₦200 (If you’re lucky, you can even find them growing somewhere in your area) 

    Source: The Guardian

    Ponmo: ₦200

    Iru (locust beans): ₦50

    Eja kika (round fish): ₦300

    Palm oil: ₦100

    Habanero pepper: ₦100

    Total spend: ₦950. Serves two.

    Ogbono soup 

    You Only Need ₦1k to Prepare These 7 Nigerian Soups

    Source: Instagram (@playfoodbyyinka)

    Ogbono doesn’t get the love it deserves for offering so much value at minimal cost.

    What you need:

    Ground ogbono powder: ₦100

    Cameroon pepper: ₦100

    Crayfish: ₦200

    Ponmo: ₦200

    Ugwu leaves: ₦100

    Eja kika (round fish) – ₦300

    Total spend: ₦1000. Serves two.

    Ila alasepo (Okra soup)

    You Only Need ₦1k to Prepare These 7 Nigerian Soups

    Source: Vee_Familylifestyle

    Another low-budget soup that didn’t get its flowers until the join-body with seafood. This soup is a lifesaver.

    What you need:

    Okra: ₦200

    Iru (locust beans): ₦50

    Ponmo: ₦200

    Cameroon pepper: ₦100

    Eja kika (round fish): ₦300

    Total spend: ₦850. Serves two.

    Chicken feet pepper soup

    You Only Need ₦1k to Prepare These 7 Nigerian Soups

    Source: Blackpeoplesrecipes

    There’s even something for when you want to set the club mood in your house.

    What you need:

    Peppersoup spice: ₦100

    Scent leaf: ₦50

    Cameroon pepper: ₦100

    Chicken feet: ₦600

    Total spend: ₦750. Serves two

    There’ll be loads of food and drinks for the hottest babes at HERtitude23. Grab your ticket here.

  • Do These Six Things if You Ever Burn Plantain

    Do These Six Things if You Ever Burn Plantain

    You’ve got the perfect plantain (not unripe or overripe). It’s sizzling nicely in hot oil. But you looked away for a second to scroll through Twitter, and golden brown has turned to devil’s charcoal.

    With friends and family patiently waiting in your living room to feast, what do you do?

    PAY ATTENTION FIRST: The hot babes will eat (and shake their booty) good at HERtitude 2023. Grab your tickets here to join them.

    Photo: Instagram (@playfoodbyyinka)

    Protect the crime scene

    You’ve messed up the easiest meal to make, and trust me, witnesses will use it against you. Lock that kitchen door until you somehow redeem the dodo. 

    Change the name to “charred plantain”

    As the Sodiq Ologbon that you are, erase “burnt” from your vocabulary. Tell everybody that what you have on the menu is “charred plantain”.

    Flip the switch

    Chances are since you fried the plantain, you’re most likely going to serve it. Deception is key here. Plate your dodo so that only the good sides face up. If there are no good sides, refer to the next point.

    Tell them you’re making gizdodo

    Photo: Instagram (@playfoobyyinka)

    Throw in some gizzard, pepper, maggi and salt, and all will be well again. Tell the people eating to expect a hint of bittersweet notes.

    We hear gizdodo will be on the menu at HERtitude2023. Join the hottest babes for the hottest women-only party EVER, on May 27 in Lagos. Grab your tickets here.

    Become Dr Meredith Grey for dodo

    No, I mean it. Grab a fresh pack of razor blades, cut out the burnt parts, and fry the plantain again.

    Stall until everyone is famished

    People rarely pay attention to the taste of food when hunger strikes. Hold on to that burnt dodo until it’s the only thing they want.

    If all this fails, just RUN.

  • Why Eating Rice With a Fork Is the Only Way to Go

    Why Eating Rice With a Fork Is the Only Way to Go

    As an adult, why are you still using a spoon to eat rice? When you’re not a three-year-old being forced to finish your food before the school bus comes. 

    Here are 7 valid reasons why you should grow up and switch to a fork today.

    To show you’re not greedy

    I mean, why are you using a spoon to eat if you’re not a thief? For the same work rate, you might as well use a shovel.  

    RELATED:  Interview With Spoon, Fork, & Knife: “Why We Usually Disappear”

    To show you respect your ancestors

    Forks will never disrespect your ancestors the way spoons do. The prongs were designed to let some food fall down for the gods. If your life is not doing okay, it’s because you use a spoon and your ancestors feel neglected.

    To show you respect the food

    Only people who don’t respect food would eat it fast. Good food should be approximated and chewed slowly to show you love how good it tastes, and you’re willing to be patient.

    Because you’re an adult

    For God’s sake, why would you rush your food like that? Ever seen a teenage boy heap food with a spoon? Yeah, that’s what you look like. 

    So the forks don’t get lonely

    It’s just human decency to use the fork as much as you use your spoon. You don’t want them feeling left out and disappearing just because. Just be kind, abeg.

    To chook anyone who tries to beg for food

    Can you protect yourself with a spoon? No, but you can always use a fork to scare off those who don’t let others eat in peace. 

    It’ll never betray you when you wash it

    One thing a fork will never do is spray water all over your body when you try to wash it. Do with that information what you must.

    RELATED: 8 Things That Taste Better When They’re Free

    Starting next week (January 31st, 2023)
  • I Got My Igbo Mum to Share Cooking Tips and Life Advice

    I Got My Igbo Mum to Share Cooking Tips and Life Advice

    If you ever want my mum to talk for three hours non-stop, just ask her about Igbo soups. She’d be more than happy to launch into a monologue about how they’re all better than freshly made agege bread.

    These soups originated from the Southeastern part of Nigeria and have a basic naming formula. “Ofe” means “soup” in Igbo, and it’s usually followed by the main ingredient in the soup — a vegetable. So if you want to be doing fitness, eat plenty Igbo soups.

    I had time to kill recently, and wanted to do the Lord’s work, so I asked my mum what the best Igbo soup recipes were. What followed was a mini cooking show/life therapy session. According to my Igbo mum, this is the best way to cook your favourite Igbo soups.

    PS: It’s her words from this point on.

    Ofe Oha (Oha soup)

    Image source: Lyndishes Kitchen

    First things first, you can’t manage resources with this soup. It’s better to borrow money than to eat oha soup that’s begging for life. And if you know how to price well at the market, you won’t need to finish your money. 

    What you’ll need for three to four servings

    • 2 cups of hand-chopped oha leaves 
    • 1 cup of knife-chopped uziza leaves
    • 1 cup of ground crayfish
    • 2 or 3 yellow scotch bonnet peppers
    • 1 tablespoon of ogili isi
    • Half a cup of cocoyam paste or 2 tablespoons of achi
    • Half a cup of palm oil
    • Meat
    • Stockfish and dry catfish
    • Salt and seasoning cubes

    Preparation

    • Thoroughly clean your stockfish with warm water — not hot, you don’t want all the taste to disappear, and not cold or it might not take out all the dirt from market storage.
    • Boil it with your cleaned meat in a little water, so they’ll get soft together. The water should be just enough to slightly cover the meat and stockfish because the meat will bring out its own fluid when heated. 
    • Season well. You notice I didn’t mention onions. It can overpower the soup’s taste, so we usually don’t add it.
    • Clean your dry fish and add it to the meat when it’s tender. If the meat stock is drying up, add about a cup of water to it. 
    • Grind the pepper and add it to the pot of steaming meat and fish. Yes, Igbo people like pepper too, but it shouldn’t drown out the taste of your soup.
    • After about five minutes, add palm oil and cocoyam paste in large lumps. If you can’t get cocoyam, use achi. But make sure you use good achi or your soup would be watery. How do you get good achi? Befriend the market women so they don’t sell rubbish to you. Drop all your phonetics, ask them about their children and see if they don’t become your friend. Phonetics won’t take you everywhere.
    • Add the ogili isi and crayfish. Be more generous with crayfish than politicians are when election is near. Cook for about three minutes. 
    • Check for salt and seasoning, and add more if necessary.
    • The soup should be thickened by now, so wash and add the chopped uziza leaves and stir.
    • Remember when I said the oha leaves should be hand-chopped? Cutting it with a knife might make the leaves hard, so just use your hand to tear them into large pieces — small pieces will just disappear into the soup because the leaves are very delicate — when it’s almost time. Wash with water, and add to the soup.
    • Reduce the heat, stir and cook for about five more minutes. 
    • Scoop out and chew a cooked oha leaf to confirm the soup is ready — it should be tender.
    • Enjoy your soup with any swallow except amala. Amala is just wrong with this soup, please.

    Ofe Owerri

    Image source: Dooney’s Kitchen

    This is what you cook when you want to buga to your enemies and let your amebo neighbours know you serve a living God. You must have money to cook Ofe Owerri. It’s not just soup. It’s a sign of prosperity. 

    What you’ll need for three to four servings

    • Half a cup of finely shredded okazi leaves
    • Half a cup of shredded ugu leaves (optional)
    • 2 or 3 yellow scotch bonnet peppers (ground)
    • Quarter cup of cocoyam paste (from the round Owerri ones)
    • 1 cup of ground crayfish
    • 1 tablespoon of ogili isi
    • Half a cup of palm oil
    • Assorted meat 
    • Snails (optional)
    • Stockfish and dry fish
    • 2 onions (sliced)
    • Salt and seasoning cubes

    Preparation

    • Season the stockfish, snails and meat with salt, seasoning and onions. Boil with half a cup of water. The stock will serve as the soup’s base, so it has to be tasty. A bland stock is just like using low-quality Hollandaise fabric to sew the best style. Whatever the style, the cloth will still spoil. Buy real Hollandaise.
    • When the meat is tender, add dry fish, crayfish, pepper and palm oil. Allow to cook for five minutes, then reduce the heat.
    • Add in the cocoyam paste gradually, and stir as it thickens. The soup shouldn’t be so thick. Easy does it; remember this when applying make-up too. 
    • Add the ogili isi and allow to cook for three minutes. If too thick, loosen with meat stock or water. Make sure to keep tasting for flavour and adjust the seasoning as necessary.
    • Add the washed okazi, and let it cook for two more minutes before adding the washed ugu leaves. If you don’t want ugu, just allow the soup to simmer for a bit.
    • Proceed to enjoy your soup with any swallow — again, not amala — and remember to open your windows so your neighbours can perceive the goodness of God in your life.

    RELATED: These Are the Easiest Nigerian Soups to Make, According to Ifeoluwa


    Ofe Onugbu (Bitter leaf soup)

    Image source: All Nigerian Foods

    This soup is proof that not everything sweet is good. I don’t know if it’s a proverb, but if you eat any bitter leaf soup that’s “sweet”, something is wrong somewhere. Sometimes, the best things in life will challenge you and your tastebuds.

    What you’ll need for three to four servings

    If you still haven’t gotten it yet, most of the ingredients you’ll need for Igbo soups are the same. The only major difference is the vegetable.

    • 1 cup of properly washed bitter leaves
    • 2 or 3 yellow scotch bonnet peppers (ground)
    • Quarter cup of cocoyam paste or 2 tablespoons of achi
    • 2 tablespoons of ground crayfish
    • 1 tablespoon of ogili isi
    • Half a cup of palm oil
    • Meat 
    • Stockfish and dry fish
    • Salt and seasoning cubes

    Preparation

    • Season your meat and stockfish as usual. This soup doesn’t need onions, but you can add a little to boil your meat if you like.
    • Once the meat is tender, add some water to loosen the stock. Add the cleaned dry fish, crayfish, pepper and palm oil. Allow to cook for five minutes then reduce the heat.
    • Add the cocoyam paste gradually and stir as it thickens. You can make the soup as thick as you want, but remember, too much of everything isn’t good.
    • Proceed to add the ogili isi and taste for seasoning. Allow it to cook for about three minutes before adding the washed bitter leaves. If you don’t know how to wash it, check here. Don’t be like my children who are too scared to taste the washed leaves before adding to the pot. How else will you know if it’s still too bitter?
    • Once added, allow it to cook for some minutes till the leaves are somewhat tender.
    • Bitter leaf soup is versatile and can withstand multiple rewarming if necessary. Is your prayer life as versatile?

    Ofe Nsala (White soup)

    Image source: Ollarica

    In Igbo land, we cook this soup for nursing mothers during the omugwo (post-childbirth) period. We also use fresh catfish instead of meat, but only rich people buy catfish now, so make do with what you have. Contentment is godly (except when cooking oha or ofe owerri, sha).

    What you’ll need for three to four servings

    • Chicken (or any meat you have).
    • 2 or 3 yellow scotch bonnet peppers (ground)
    • 2 big slices of yam
    • 2 tablespoons of ground crayfish
    • 1 teaspoon of ground uziza and ehuru seeds
    • 1 small chunk of ogiri okpei
    • Half a cup of uziza leaves
    • Quarter cup of utazi leaves
    • Meat 
    • Stockfish and dry catfish
    • Salt and seasoning cubes

    Preparation

    • At this point, you should already know to season and boil your meat and stockfish. Boil the yams in a separate pot of water, and pound it in a bowl when tender.
    • When the meat is tender, add some water to make room for the soup, then add the cleaned fish, crayfish, ogili okpei, ground seeds and pepper. 
    • Let this cook for three minutes before adding the pounded yam in small lumps. This will serve as the soup’s thickener.
    • Stir the soup until the yam dissolves. Don’t stir too much though, so the fish doesn’t scatter.
    • Add the washed utazi and uziza leaves. Be careful with the utazi as it’s quite bitter. Put it in gradually and taste as you go. Patience is a virtue in life, especially when cooking nsala.

    • After adding the leaves, allow the soup to simmer for two minutes.
    • Please, only serve with pounded yam. It’s the law.

    NEXT READ: What Your Favourite Soup Says About Your Sex Life

  • Nigerian Food Boards That Should Exist 

    Nigerian Food Boards That Should Exist 

    First, we saw a charcuterie board, and it was fine; cheese, crackers and fruits — it ate. Then TikTok people started making sushi boards, butter boards, etc, and it made me wonder, what if we had Nigerian food boards? Which one would bang? Well, I have thoughts. 

    Abacha board 

    I mean, come on, this is greatness waiting to happen. Each side of the board would have different toppings — ugba, garden eggs, fish and ponmo. Every bite would be a burst of flavours. This needs to happen yesterday, for my sanity. 


    RELATED: Is Abacha Overrated? 7 Nigerians Argue


    Swallow board 

    Imagine if you went to a restaurant to try some random soup, and a swallow board accompanied it. Sometimes, you’d want the softness of wheat  after eating pounded yam, or eba after a couple of spoons of amala. A little bit of everything at your fingertips, god, abeg.

    Plantain board 

    Do I even need to talk too much? As someone who recently saw the light in plantain, I say this should already exist. From good old fried plantain — it must be soft by the way — to plantain chips, unripe porridge, gizdodo, plantain and beans, the possibilities are endlessly sweet. 

    Assorted meat board 

    If you close your eyes, you can almost taste the beef and chicken suya, asun and Isi Ewu. Let your imagination run wild, and just sprinkle yaji pepper on top. I’d willingly break the bank for this instead of overpriced breakfast platters. 

    Puff-puff board 

    With chocolate-drizzled puff-puff and puff-puff sprinkled with pepper, every angle of the board would be a treat. We could experiment with puff-puff and stew. Puff-puff is bread that studied abroad, after all. 

    Old-school snacks board 

    Imagine pako and okin biscuits, baba dudu and co, all on one platter. All our childhood causes of toothache in one place sounds like bliss to me. 

    Rice board

    This board takes “There’s rice at home” to another level. One thing Nigerians are great at is making several different types of rice. Our Jollof slaps, vegetable rice is heavenly, and there’s even concoction rice for when sapa has you in a chokehold. Just imagine them spread out on a board. 


    READ ALSO: We Ranked 10 Nigerian Rice Meals From the Best to the Most Unnecessary

  • If You Don’t Use These 7 Ingredients to Cook, You Have a Problem

    If You Don’t Use These 7 Ingredients to Cook, You Have a Problem

    Since we have the best opinion on food on the internet, we compiled a list of ingredients that shouldn’t be missing from your next meal. If you like, don’t help your tastebuds to grow up, we’ve tried our best. 

    Love

    You can taste when something has been made with premium wickedness. You don’t even have to eat it first to know. Sometimes, just looking at it will tell you that it tastes like wickedness. Try cooking with love today, it’s a game-changer. 


    RELATED: 7 Meals You Can Eat on Sunday Instead of Rice


    Garlic

    Were you a vampire in your past life? No? Then why are you cooking without garlic? Please, explain what you’re afraid of in two seconds. If somebody offers you food without garlic, you’re probably dessert and not in a good way. 

    Onions 

    Aren’t you too old to be afraid of something because it makes you cry? The same tears you shed up and down for people who don’t deserve you? Please, respect yourself. Eat food made with onions. 

    Pepper

    Except you have a medical condition, what sort of adult eats food without pepper?  Pepper makes everything better, trust us. From avocado toast to garri, pepper spices up any meal. Help us help you.

    Iru

    You’re missing out if you don’t like iru. So what if it smells? Cover your nose. After cooking, you won’t smell anything, and your food will be 100 per cent better for it.

    Crayfish

    Crayfish works in everything. If you like, call it the “cockroach of the ocean”. They are very tasteful cockroaches. You haven’t lived until you’ve eaten crayfish blended with ice cream and a pinch of salt. 

    Green Peas

    When it’s not like you’re 10 years old, picking out all the green peas from your fried rice. Green peas are so good and require little effort. They are great as sides and even better in any meal of your choice. Think of it as one small step for you, one giant leap for your stomach. 


    READ ALSO: The Only Types Of Food You’re Allowed To Eat On Weekends

  • Puff-Puff Is Overrated, and These 5 Reasons Will Convince You

    Puff-Puff Is Overrated, and These 5 Reasons Will Convince You

    You probably opened this article, ready to throw hands. But wait, and let’s reason together. Do you like puff-puff because you think it’s the best thing in Buhari’s Nigeria or because of peer pressure?

    Keep your offence and open your mind so I can show you why puff-puff isn’t that great.

    It’s bland

    Unless you pour in a truckload of sugar when making puff-puff to convince yourself that you aren’t just chewing fried flour, it just feels like a sad waste of time. How unimaginative can a snack get?

    It gets soggy in two minutes

    Puff-puff likes shakara because how can they bring you down from the pan now now, and you decide to become soggy just because someone didn’t eat you fast enough?

    It’s too easy to destroy

    If it’s not Yoruba people adding pepper to it, it’s another person deciding to throw in big-ass onions inside. Puff puff is already bad, you now made it worse.

    It’s useless in small chops

    Please, why are there one million of them in one pack of small chops? Just tell me it’s puff-puff I’m buying.


    RELATED: We Ranked Everything in a Small Chops Pack


    Lovers of puff-puff are violent

    Puff-puff lovers and semo lovers must be in the same WhatsApp group. Do you have to violently attack anyone that gives a different opinion and try to force them to love it just because you do?

    That’s just peer pressure, and for those of us who think puff-puff is meh, we refuse to be bullied. Periodt.


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  • Is Abacha Overrated? 7 Nigerians Argue

    Is Abacha Overrated? 7 Nigerians Argue

    Abacha — the food, not the Nigerian sugar daddy — is a popular Eastern Nigerian dish also known as “African Salad”. 

    Typically made with the African oil bean seeds (ugba), abacha is one delicacy that can make an Igbo man willingly surrender his belongings — it’s that good. Not everyone is sold on this dish, though, as some argue that it’s overrated. 

    Image source: Meal Planner kitch’n

    We spoke to seven Nigerians, and here’s what they think:

    “It tastes much better than it looks”

    — Ayomide, 23

    I have to admit that, for the longest time, whenever I saw people eating abacha, I thought it was rubbish. There’s just this way it used to look to me.

    In January 2022, I eventually decided to try it when my mum bought some for her friends. I was pleasantly surprised. I absolutely love the unique taste, especially when mixed with the sauce. I now actively look for abacha sellers to buy from every day.


    RELATED: Fifteen Nigerian Foods You Absolutely Have to Try


    “I thought it tasted bland”

    — Abass, 31

    I had my first taste of abacha in 2010. I was a first-year student at the college of health technology in Yaba, and I noticed that many of my female colleagues loved buying it with stew, ponmo and all the orisirisi added.

    I decided to try it one day, and while it wasn’t exactly bad, it tasted more like a regular salad —  nothing special. I’ve had it once since then, and I honestly think it’s kinda overrated.

    “It tasted like soap”

    — Esther, 21

    I don’t like it at all. I first had abacha in Lagos in 2020. Before then, I always saw it around, and I’d wonder what it tasted like.

    On the day I finally had the opportunity to eat it, I was with a friend, and she had called on a hawker to purchase some. She asked if I wanted a plate, but I decided to try some from her portion first, before buying what I wouldn’t be able to eat.

    When we got home, she dished it out, and I was eager to try it. The very first spoon that went into my mouth came back out with the same speed with which it entered. It tasted like it had soap in it. It might have been the oil, but I’ve never tried to eat it again. It’s overrated, abeg.

    “Abacha is definitely not overrated”

    — Eniola, 26

    The first time I had it was around 2007 when it was prepared by my Yoruba father. Before then, I never knew something like that existed. 

    I prepare it now myself, and even though it isn’t exactly the same as what my dad used to make (he’s late now), I still find the taste to be really sumptuous and unique. The taste also varies, depending on how you make it, but it’s a hit every single time.

    “I hated it until I got to Enugu”

    — Amaka*, 25

    As an Igbo girl, I always used to get teased when I said I didn’t like abacha. It’s like people expected me to love it just because I’m Igbo. 

    We live in Lagos and have never made it at home because my dad doesn’t like it so my first taste was from a roadside seller. It was so bad and I swore never to let it pass through my lips again.

    But in 2019, I went for NYSC in Enugu and I was bullied into having abacha again, and I realised that I’d been deceived in Lagos. Enugu abacha is fire and I honestly feel sorry for people eating the rubbish they sell in Lagos.


    RELATED: Eating My Way Through the Coal City


    “It’s not that great”

    — John*, 27

    I’d lived in the North my whole life and only moved to Lagos in 2018. Lagos is a whole new experience, and as a foodie, I was eager to try new dishes.

    A friend introduced me to abacha and from how hype she was about it, I was expecting something spectacular. The first time I saw it, I was a bit taken aback — it doesn’t look that great and the smell is somehow. Yet, I found the courage to try it; while I loved the several protein obstacles, I’m not a huge fan of abacha itself.

    It’s not bad but I don’t love it. 

    “It takes some getting used to”

    — Hannah*, 28

    I like abacha on some days. Other days, I don’t even want to see it. Eating it for the first time, it attacks you with an entirely new texture, and it’s like your brain has to override the “what the hell is this?” alert.

    Abacha isn’t bad, but I don’t think it’s that great, really. I guess it depends a lot on who makes it.


    *Some names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.


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