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The 10 Stages of Getting an Internship in Nigeria

Picture this: You’re excited at the idea of getting a salary and joining the 9-5 gang — or at least leaving house chores behind — so you decide to get an internship.

Get ready because you’ll likely experience the following stages.

Rejection

Wait, shouldn’t internships be easier to get? What are all these rejection emails in your inbox then?

The “for-the-experience” offers aka no salary

Yes, we know internships are for the experience. But try explaining to the bus conductor taking you from Ikeja to Ajah that there’s more to life than money.

The internships with the most ridiculous requirements

These ones deserve a special place in Ajah traffic. You want an intern who can speak seven languages? Just tell us you want to employ our Lord and personal saviour.

The ones with the sketchy job descriptions

You don’t need anyone to tell you that these ones want to either steal your kidney or collect the remaining ₦2k in your account.

You finally get the internship, but you actually have to work

Did you think internships were only for taking corporate wear selfies and filling a spot on your LinkedIn profile?

RELATED: Nigerian Graduates Share Their First Job Hunting Experience

You start doing more than your job description

You start to wonder if these people mistakenly put out an internship vacancy when they really wanted an operations manager.

You start running personal errands

At some point, someone will send you to buy semo for them.

You begin to understand why everyone hates adulting

Your whole life becomes a wake-up-and-go-to-work cycle. Also, forget about weekends. You’ll be too tired to even consider any jaiye jaiye activity.

You start asking yourself why you wanted an internship in the first place

Especially when it looks like you’re the only one working in the entire office.

You realise it’s actually not that bad

At least you’ll get the experience employers always look for in fresh graduates. So keep enduring, that’s adulting for you.

NEXT READ: “Let the ASUU Strike Continue” — These 5 Students Are More Interested in Making Money Online

Tife Oni

September 1, 2022

Aluta and Chill, Hustle, Inside Life

Careers, Funny, Internship, Jobs, Nigerians
“Let the ASUU Strike Continue” — These 5 Students Are More Interested in Making Money Online

Since FG and ASUU decided to ~~go on their annual vacation~~ beat the drums of war again in February 2022, Nigerian students have been the most affected party.

For some students, it’s an endless wait for the strike to end, while for others, it’s time to keep busy one way or the other, at least till school resumes.

I spoke to five students who have been using the time to make money online, and they told me how they came across these money-making sites and why they don’t care how long the strike lasts.

“To be honest, I’ve moved on with my life”

— Arin*, 19

For the first two months of the strike, I just sat at home washing plates and doing nothing else. I tried to convince my dad to let me get a job, but he kept going, “What if they call off the strike soon?”

Luckily, a friend introduced me to Fiverr, and since I’m good at making designs, I thought to try offering graphic design services. She kept telling me that it might be a long time before I make any money on Fiverr, so I spent time learning about the website in order to understand it better.

I’ve done two gigs since I joined in April 2022, and while it may not be too impressive, it’s a big deal for someone just starting out. The strike can go on for as long as they like; I want to get better at this and earn dollars abeg.

RELATED: We Curated These Sites to Help You Make Money Online

“I now have a full-time remote job”

— Nino*, 23

This strike has me stuck in final year, and as someone who already feels too old to be in school, it’s been more than annoying.

Immediately after they extended the one-month warning strike, I decided to take my freelance writing more seriously. I collated all my write-ups using Journo Portfolio, an online writing portfolio website, and started reaching out to connections on LinkedIn.

I eventually connected with someone who needed blog articles for their baby food site, and that’s what I’ve been doing. I earn ₦80k (more if I get other freelance roles that month), and I’m actively searching for more [writing] opportunities. School is the last thing on my mind.

“I’m trying to get better at affiliate marketing”

— Ola*, 21

I’ll always advocate for the “school is a scam” narrative. I’m almost grateful for the strike because I’m not even looking forward to struggling to graduate with a second class lower in Physics.

I already know my degree may be useless, so I’m always looking for other opportunities. I got into affiliate marketing with Expertnaire in July 2022, and I just made my first sale last month. I’m already on the path to making good money with it, and that’s my priority now.

“I want to work in a foreign firm before the end of the year”

— Tinu*, 21

I started looking for a job immediately after they announced the one-month warning strike in February 2022 because I knew there was no money coming from anywhere. This proved difficult cause I live on Lagos mainland, and everything I saw was Island-based.

I have some skills in social media management, so when my church organised a free content marketing training in March 2022, I jumped on it. I now work with the organiser of this training (she has a company) and I’m good, if I do say so myself.

I’m really inspired by this Nairalife subject who earns $93k a year doing the same thing I do, and my goal is to work [remotely] for a foreign firm and earn in dollars before the end of this year.

“I’ve made $200 in a week. Who school epp?”

— Josiah*, 20

I’m a writer, and I’ve been on Upwork for about two years but had only done two gigs before this strike started.

When the strike looked like it’d be everlasting, I got bored and decided to revamp my Upwork profile and actually pay attention to it. Just last month, in July 2022, I got a copyediting gig that paid $200. It was for an entire book, and man, when I tell you that I went above and beyond, I overdid sef.

I was so excited. I’ve not withdrawn the money yet because I’m waiting for the exchange rate to get even higher. I’m ready to die on Upwork now. ASUU and the entire federal government will be alright.

*Names have been changed, and answers slightly edited for clarity.

Wouldn’t you like to read a newsletter that helps you dig into all the good, bad and extremely bizarre things happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you? Then you should sign up for Game of Votes.

NEXT READ: Nigerian Students Will Fight You for These Statements During the ASUU Strike

Tife Oni

August 30, 2022

Aluta and Chill, Hustle, Money

ASUU strike, How to make money, Nigerian students, online jobs
8 Telltale Signs You’re About to Carry Over a Course

When your lecturer says, “A is for God, B is for me,” you already know you’re in trouble and you have to put in extra effort to pass the course. Sometimes it works out, other times it doesn’t. And here are some telltale signs you’re going to carry over a course.

You go blank in the hall

This is the first sign of doom. And if you’ve ever been in this situation, you know just how frustrating it is, especially if you actually tried your best to prepare. But at the sight of the first question, your brain decides to go completely go blank and the only thing you can think of is “God abeg o, who go help oh”.

You have no idea what the compulsory question is saying

The moment you check your question paper and realize the one topic you decided to skip came out as the compulsory question and two follow-up questions. So now you’re stuck in the hall calculating how many marks you need to pass.

You need this How to Pass an Exam Without Reading: a Zikoko Guide

After the exam, you can’t relate to other people’s answers

Immediately after the exam, you see people discussing and you decide to join in. But while the argument is whether the correct answer is east or west, your own was semo.

When you can’t even remember writing the exam

The exam was so traumatizing, you completely blocked it out of your memory. In your mind, you know you already failed, so you’re mentally preparing for the next time you have to retake it.

When you refused to buy the lecturer’s textbook

You decided to call his bluff even after his numerous threats and warnings. But on the exam day, he shows up in the hall and separates those who have the book from those who don’t, right before he announces an open book exam.

You get to the hall and your formation gets scattered

They don’t just separate you from your friends, but they put you in the front row with your ex’s new partner, and now you’re trying to figure everything out on your own.

When you miss the most important class

The one day you decide to stab a class is the same day the lecturer arrives early to class, takes attendance, shares his area of concentration, gives assignments, and even has a pop quiz — all of which constitute 60% of your total grade.

You feel the sudden inclination to learn a trade

You already knew that school na scam. But after the particular exam, you find yourself checking out skills and job opportunities for people that don’t require education. You realize that your grades don’t define you, and you were always better with your hands anyway.

Carryovers are scary, but they’re not the end of the world, that’s why We Asked 5 Nigerian Students How They Dealt With Failing a Course

Meyimi O.

August 21, 2022

Aluta and Chill, Inside Life

Exam, Lecturer, Nigerian students
Nigerian Students Will Fight You for These Statements During the ASUU Strike

Students hate the ASUU strike, but what they hate even more is having people give their hot takes on the issue. On the surface, they’re innocent statements from a genuine place but when you think of how depressing the situation already is for students waiting on the government to make things work *tears* you’d understand why it hurts to hear them.

Here are seven things you must never say to a student stuck at home because of the ASUU strike:

“What’s the update on ASUU?”

When you ask this one time, it’s okay, but always asking this same question when you know there’s never an update with this government is traumatising. If you care so much, you should just follow up on the news yourself.

You know you can just check their site sha

“You should learn handwork”

You can advise someone to learn a trade or business without trying to force the idea down their throat. Like it or not, not everyone is interested in entrepreneurship, and that’s okay. Even if you have passion, you may fail because pursuing dreams is not for the fainthearted.

But I went to school to avoid this

“When are you going to serve?”

NYSC is not so great, so chill. You see all the variations of this statement — Where do you work? Are you still in school? How many years has it been now? —throw them away because from what we hear, they’re ready to fight you for them.

“If only you did a different course”

If you’ve ever said this to someone, kneel, place your left hand on your head and ask the spirit of stupidity to lose its hold on you. We don’t need to point out that there’s nothing they could do with this information.

“Get the best out of this period by making money”

Stop broke-shaming people, it’s it’s insensitive— especially when you know the odds are against them in the current economy.

This is particularly common with the seven-figure Affiliate Marketers that are always making money from their phones.

If only it were that easy

“What are you doing to add value to yourself?”

You ask because you care, and that’s great, but trying to stay alive and sane in this country should do for now.

“You should go and marry”

We’re embarrassed on your behalf because what in the seven seas would make you say this? Did your parents get married because they couldn’t finish school? If they did, the way you think makes a lot more sense.

ALSO READ: Will Nigerian Students Ever Be Free of ASUU Strike?

Meyimi O.

June 26, 2022

Aluta and Chill, Inside Life

ASUU strike, Nigerian students
Will Nigerian Students Ever Be Free of ASUU Strike?

ASUU has gone on strike so many times, we’ve actually lost count. The thing that seems different about this instance, though, is that everyone has seemingly resigned to their fate.

From terrible electricity supply to alarming nationwide insecurity, and the blatant disregard for the educational sector, the Nigerian government has shown us that they don’t give a shit about citizens they’re supposed to serve.

Another way to know that they’ve run out of (pretend) fucks to give is that elections are around the corner and they’re not even trying to make amends for their bad leadership.

At first, jokes flew left and right when ASUU first announced the strike. Some students even felt relieved. Because, let’s face it, being a student is hard.

RELATED: Seven Ways Nollywood Lied To Gen-Z Nigerians About University Life

But with every extra week at home, our peace of mind took a hit, which is pretty common if you live in a Nigerian home, and returning to school was your only escape.

RELATED: Nine Times It Sucked To Be The Child In A Nigerian Home

So when the Minister of Education paid ₦100M for the presidential form two months later, we all thought that money had arrived. And he was now ready to clear the debts so students who have spent seven years in school for their five year courses, could now graduate, right?

ASUU announced that the warning strike had been called off, and students around the country began rejoicing because who wouldn’t want to dump house chores and reactivate bad bitch mode?

RELATED: Sixteen Signs You’re Not The Bad Bitch You Think You Are

Only for the second paragraph to read that they were ending the three month long strike so they could start an indefinite one!

Let’s do the math.

If Warning strike = three months, Indefinite strike= ?

At this point, we’re scouring the internet for the address of the nearest ASUU board member, so we can show up at his door like this.

But yet again, we woke up to another update on Friday, May 20th 2022.

The government had gone ahead to commence payment of ₦34billion minimum wage arrears owed, but ASUU claims that was just one of their demands and therefore, would be continuing the strike.

The question on everyone’s mind now is,

What next?

Yes, we want them to call off the strike now, but that is clearly a short-term fix because they’ll most likely go on another strike in less than nine months. Why? Because the government only ever pays enough for them to suspend the strike, not end it.

But we don’t care. Calling it off temporarily would at least buy some people enough time to graduate.

With all this happening, if you still believe bogus theory that says, “2.1 in a Federal University is equal to 1st class at a private one”, I recommend running an MBA in Unilag. Come back in four years when you’re done to talk about your experience.

In the meantime, we’ve gone to get our PVC. Because someone has to pay for this strike, and those people are sure as hell not getting our vote this election.

ALSO READ: Zikoko’s Responsible Voter Starter Kit for 2023 Elections

Meyimi O.

June 1, 2022

Aluta and Chill, Citizen

ASUU strike, Funny, Inside life, Nigerians
Lagos Business School, Semicolon Africa and Henley Business School Partner to Drive British Council funded ‘Nexus Project’

…project set to transform African youths into sustainable job creators

In line with the commitment of Lagos Business School (LBS) to develop responsible entrepreneurs and promote business sustainability, the institution has partnered with Semicolon Africa and Henley Business School on the Nexus Project, funded by the British Council.

The objective of the project is to unlock the potential of African youths and transform job seekers into sustainable job creators to help in bridging the unemployment gap and reducing the failure rate of startups.

In her remarks, the Associate Dean, Lagos Business School, Prof. Yinka David-West, said “As the Nigerian and African economies digitise, we are excited to be a part of this network creating and building a new crop of digital entrepreneurs that will focus on Africa’s social and institutional problems. With the Nexus Project, it is our vision that Africa’s crop of tech venture builders will be better positioned to gain the best form of support, coaching and mentoring to become entrepreneurs worthy of emulation from other Africans across sectors.”.

In the first phase of the project, a total of 30 African techpreneurs representing 15 projects/business ventures with great entrepreneurial ideas will be trained, mentored, and supported to transform their ideas into investable and sustainable ventures.

The beneficiaries who are selected for the training will undergo a 6-month (April to August 2022) management programme which delivers specialist knowledge transfer, education, coaching, and mentoring to propel their venture ideas to investment readiness and connect them to a nexus of investors.

Speaking at the formal launch of the project which was held virtually on March 30, 2022, the Project Director and LBS Faculty, Dr Adun Okupe said; “The Nexus project provides the opportunity for management education to address the emerging need for entrepreneurship development in Africa and a chance to improve the success rates of startups in Africa.”

Jean-Pierre Choulet, Vice-Dean Africa, Henley Business School stated that; “There is a critical need to provide the required platform for African youths to jumpstart their entrepreneurial journey while providing them with adequate support to scale their businesses. Through this partnership, we believe that the beneficiaries will have requisite coaching, mentoring support as well as access to relevant information to enable them to make informed decisions while connecting them to a pool of investors who can propel their ideas to the next level.”

Speaking on Semicolon’s participation in the project, the CEO of Semicolon Africa, Mr Sam Immanuel stated that; “We are pleased to collaborate with the Lagos Business School (LBS) and Henley Business School on this initiative that sets to increase the success stories of African youths who are boisterous, creative, and desirous of building sustainable businesses to last a lifetime.”

Meanwhile, five MBA Alumni of Lagos Business School have been on-boarded onto the coaching and mentorship programme to provide technical skills support to the participants. The mentors are CEO, Sustmark Consult, Oluwafemi Adeniba; Founder, Truss Empowerment Foundation, Azukaego Chukwuelue; CEO, BPI Advisory, Deji Agboade; Founder, Brickstone Africa, Femi Awofala and CEO, Julie Harrison Pharmacy Ltd, Ada Okorie.

ABOUT LAGOS BUSINESS SCHOOL

Lagos Business School (LBS) is the graduate business school of Pan-Atlantic University. LBS offers academic programmes, executive programmes, function-specific courses/seminars as well as custom programmes (customised to specific company needs) in management education. Its offerings have been ranked among the best in Africa as it systematically strives to improve the practice of management on the continent.

The business school’s efforts have been recognised by several world-class accreditations and rankings. Besides the quality bar set at world standards, LBS programmes also stand out because of the emphasis on professional ethics and service to the community. Education at LBS is comprehensive, drawing on the experiences of a multinational faculty and participants. Learning is participant-centred and uses the case study method and the group work approach. Activities are held at the school’s purpose-built facilities whose lecture halls see more than 3,000 participants yearly from indigenous and multinational companies. These attest to the expert teaching, the relevance of the programmes and the overall benefits derived from attending.

LBS is a member of the Association of African Business Schools (AABS), the Global Business School Network (GBSN), the Principles for Responsible Management Education (PRME), AACSB International-The Association to Advance Collegiate Schools of Business and the Graduate Management Admission Council (GMAC), alongside 220 leading graduate business schools worldwide. GMAC is an organisation of leading graduate management schools in the world and the owner of the GMAT exam.

Partner

April 19, 2022

Aluta and Chill
Expectations vs Reality: Life After Graduation

Graduating from university is a major milestone in a person’s life. A lot of people look forward to it because they’re looking forward to exploring what the world out there is like beyond school. I spoke to four Nigerian graduates who finished uni in 2020, about how life has been treating them since they left the struggle that is Nigerian universities and this is what they had to say.

“I have two businesses but neither of the businesses is making much money at the moment”

— *Chidinma, 22

Studied: English (Literature major), Babcock University

I graduated in June 2020, and my life has been a mess since then. I was excited about graduating; I couldn’t wait to be done with school. I didn’t exactly have high expectations for life after school: I wanted to get an internship at a media house, I wanted to go for NYSC and then come back and continue working at a media house. I wanted to earn real money, take care of my family and live the baby girl life. What a joke.

A managing director of a popular media house in Nigeria promised me an internship once I graduated, only for him to ghost me. That was one of the first ways that life showed me pepper. After many interviews, I finally got a job in October 2020, but unfortunately, I ended up having the worst boss ever. He’d ask me to do ridiculous tasks that had nothing to do with my job description. I swept office and got sent to buy food. The last straw was when he asked some of my colleagues and me to close the office for the day and come over to his house to clean it.

After that, I got a teaching job at a school, but the school owed salaries month after month and they also treated staff terribly, so I left. I decided to go the entrepreneur way.

I now have two businesses, but neither of the businesses is making much money at the moment, but I’m pushing through. I’m starting my NYSC with the next batch that’s coming up in July 2022. After my service year, I want to either leave this country or marry a rich man, because a girl is tired.

RELATED: 5 Fears a Lot of Nigerian Students Have About Graduating From University

“Why does all my money go into buying essentials I need to survive?”

—*Tolu, 22

Studied: Psychology, Covenant University

I was done with school in November 2020, but because of COVID, I officially graduated in May 2021. Schooling during the pandemic wasn’t easy, and I was tired. I couldn’t wait to be done with school.

In my third year at university, I had already started thinking about life after graduation. I knew I would have to do NYSC before getting a full-time job, so I planned to take courses related to my field and learn some new skills while serving. I started NYSC in May 2021 in Akwa Ibom, and I got a job in June at a psychiatric home. I was happy when I got the job because I wanted to work in a place that would allow me practise psychology, but honestly, it’s been tough.

I knew leaving school, working and adulting wouldn’t be easy and I had mentally prepared myself for it, but the fact that I’m working and most of my money goes into buying essentials I need to survive is the ghetto. I want to use my money for enjoyment. I knew I’d be responsible for myself, but nobody ever tells you that it’d be this difficult.

I’m finishing my NYSC this April. I plan to get a virtual assistant job for about six months while I take a course about mental health. Then, at some point, I want to start applying for jobs. I’m looking at jobs in a clinic or HR firm. Hopefully, it works out.

ALSO READ: 17 Things That Accurately Describe Life Just After Graduating From University

“Apart from the money, I get the chance to live my life beyond the walls of a single place.”

—Moses, 26

Studied: Mechanical Engineering, Lagos State Polytechnic

I graduated with one of the highest grades in my class. I was optimistic about life after graduation, but not too optimistic as the degree I hold is a Higher National Diploma (HND). Do you know how hard it is to get a job as an HND holder without NYSC?

I couldn’t wait to graduate, especially because I was schooling and working a part-time job at the same time. I was excited to leave the stress of school behind and focus solely on working and earning proper money.

Thankfully, I didn’t really have to look for a job. A friend that worked in an oil and gas firm in Edo state called me in April 2021 to send my CV, and that’s how I started working in June. I haven’t done NYSC because I never liked the idea of going off for one year and then coming back to begin job hunting. I’ve always planned to get a job first and then serve so that I don’t have to look for work for too long once I’m done.

So far, I like working and I like the world outside of school. I miss school sometimes, and school had its fun moments, but school gets boring. You see the same old faces, have classes, and it’s all just the same cycle at some point.

But in the outside world, you meet different people, and so you have so many different experiences. Apart from the money, you get the chance to live your life beyond the walls of a single place.

“I think the wildest thing about adulting and work-life for me so far is how cynical and unhappy I’ve become.”

— *Chibuike, 22

Studied: Electrical and Electronics Engineering, Covenant University

I had very high expectations for life after graduation. I expected to get a job immediately after graduation and to be earning ₦500,000 before the end of 2021. I also expected to work remotely. I didn’t want to deal with the ghetto that’s traffic and didn’t want any anxiousness over lateness. Plus, I wanted to be very flexible with work, to do things on my own time. In summary, I expected my work life to be very soft.

My work life is anything but soft. I have the flexibility I want, but everything else is stressful and I’m struggling. NYSC is one of the things that’s making my life a living hell. Ever since my relocation from Benue to Lagos didn’t work, I’ve been suffering.

I think the wildest thing about adulting and work-life for me so far is how cynical and unhappy I’ve become. I feel like a shell of my former self. I just get through each day after the next. Even things I used to enjoy feel stressful now. I have a Netflix subscription, but I haven’t watched a single show in months because I’m either working or sleeping or fighting for my life in Nigeria.

I’ll be done with NYSC in a few weeks, and I’ll be moving back into my parents’ house. This should give me some peace of mind. Maybe I’ll be able to plan my life and my time better when I’m not worrying about a thousand things.

ALSO READ: 10 Things to Do With Your Life Immediately After Uni

Dammy Eneli

April 13, 2022

Aluta and Chill, Inside Life

Nigeria, Nigerian students
Is a PhD Worth the Stress? See What 5 Nigerian PhD Students Had to Say

After the grueling experience of getting a BSc. or a Master’s degree, is a PhD worth the stress in Nigeria? Especially now that we’re seeing ASSU moving mad yet again. Five PhD students shared their reasons for pursuing a PhD in Nigeria and other parts of the world, and their experiences.

1. “My PhD is in memory of my dad”

After my degree in health sciences, I knew I wanted to get to the apex of my field. There’s always one level ahead and a PhD was the final step. The drive was even more intense because I was in love with science. When it was time to make a decision for my course, I lost my dad — he had cancer. I decided to study Public Health and with a focus on cancer, in memory of him.

Fam! I walked into that PhD thinking I was this smart kid. If getting a master’s had been stressful, a PhD was a master’s degree multiplied by a hundred — late nights and a lot of tears. It breaks you in a way and if you’re not deeply rooted, you’ll slip into depression. For instance, there was one meeting I had with my supervisors, the comments were so harsh that I just closed my laptop and started crying. I needed a hug.

The process is tough because you’re relearning things you thought you knew. I’ll say something though: for every time a professor asked me to re-do something (which is a lot of times), I got better at detecting the flaws over time. You need to be patient. There are times I go in for my bi-weekly presentation and expect my professors to outrightly call me an olodo and they’re impressed. I won’t trade this experience for anything; it has moulded me into a disciplined and better version of myself. I know it’ll pay off. This is for my dad and I’d do it all over again — for one PhD o — I’m not doing more than one.

— Deji, 27

2. “If you choose to get a PhD, aim for the international scene”

I did my master’s in Intelligence and Physical Security and I was interested in taking it a step forward to study gang violence and cultism in Nigeria. A PhD helped me diversify my career and work as either a consultant or lecturer. I don’t think I could have gotten into certain international organisations or stayed relevant in the global scene without a PhD Sadly, working in Nigeria with a PhD comes with shitty pay sometimes. People see it as another piece of paper. But it’s worth it when you’re abroad, so aim for the international scene.

For me, I’d do it all over again. I’m going for another PhD in cyber security and a final degree in law. It’ll be brutal, but in the long run, that’s more money in my pocket.

— Johnson, 35

3. “15 years in the industry and a PhD didn’t guarantee success”

When I finished my BSc program, I got a direct scholarship for my PhD in the United States. I decided to get a PhD because I wanted to be done with school. I didn’t want to start working and have to come back again. It was better to get all my degrees at once, and then later focus on getting a job. So I went for it. When I was done, I signed up for an MBA. It’s been one of the best decisions for me, but it didn’t guarantee success. After 15 years of consultancy and five years of building a business in Nigeria, I can say that networking is more important than the degree itself.

The experience itself was quite insightful, though. I understood the value of painstakingly researching to get answers no other person could find. The patience it took prepared me for life as an entrepreneur after my MBA. I also love the flexibility I have now: I can decide whether I want to teach, work as a consultant or run a business. But there are the unending expenses that come with getting a PhD Pace yourself if you need to, as it’s quite expensive. For me, building a career would have been more important than running into debt without a scholarship. The other part of having a Ph.D. is reaching the top and still feeling like an imposter. A degree doesn’t take away the imposter syndrome, But don’t be scared to flaunt the Dr. when you get it.

— Amanda, 42

4. “The world moves faster than a PhD”

I saw a PhD as the ultimate proof of my expertise. As time went by, it became a way to buy time because after my masters, I wasn’t sure about what I wanted to do next in Nigeria. The uncertainty was nerve-racking. A Ph.D. seemed like the next step. Luckily, I got an internship with a research group in Germany and they had an opening for a PhD

There are two things I didn’t expect: first was the monotonous experience. Supervisors go over the same things over and over and it can be so annoying. Second, I didn’t expect to be in charge of my life and academic development. Building my own curriculum was a weird transition for me. I’d say a PhD is more about perseverance than knowledge — it’s a headache. It can also be lonely because you’ll see your peers doing amazing things and start doubting your own journey. Stay focused if you choose this path. When you’re deciding to get your PhD you have to remember that the world moves faster than the relevance of your degree. You have to accept that your research may not have any immediate impact.

For me, the experience initially didn’t make sense in driving my career forward, but at least the opportunity earned me permanent residence in Germany. I know I can figure it out from there.

— Juliet, 26

5. “You need a life outside your PhD”

I’m getting a PhD in the Hebrew Bible and while it’s a peculiar field, I love it. I grew up in a Christian home and spent a lot of time teaching about the bible and writing. I noticed there was a gap people were rarely interested in, so I went for it. Studying the Hebrew Bible and translating certain notes we find is amazing. While I love my program, I also needed a life outside academia. I’ve had to make time for interests like writing, teaching and podcasting. It’s stressful, but I’d do it all over again.

— Tumi, 27

Ortega

February 17, 2022

Aluta and Chill

Nigerian PhD, PhD Students
7 Things All NYSC LGIs Need to Understand

The three most certain things in this life: death, taxes and NYSC Local Government Inspectors (LGIs) making your life a living hell. Nigerian civil servants are the masters at stressing people’s lives for no good reason.

Here are a few things NYSC LGIs really need to understand

No one: NYSC LGIs

1. Corpers aren’t the cause of your life problems

Whatever is going on in your life isn’t the cause of that poor corps member. Put your issues aside and handle your job professionally and with kindness, like a human being. There’s no reward for being wicked.

2. If you do your job, you won’t die

What will kill you is the accumulation of all the curses from the corpers you’ve stressed. Doing your job well and effectively will surely not kill you.

3. Any parent that gives their child a headache will also have a headache

If you like, make it your life’s mission to give corpers a headache, you too, you’ll surely receive a headache. What goes around comes around and your own headache will be double. Better calm down if you want to live a long life.

4. Life doesn’t begin and end at that job

If you think you’re the almighty God because of that yeye job, we need to let you know that life doesn’t begin and end at that job. The wickedness you’re doing to corpers will surely meet you in front.

5. NYSC is only year-long; corp members are still going to jam you in front

Do you really think corpers have short term memory and won’t remember to deck you when they’re done with their service year? Don’t be shocked if you’re walking on the road one day and a random person slaps you. It’s not a slap; it’s your reward. Smh.

6. One bad deed deserves another

Any bad thing you do as an NYSC LGI is going to meet you in front. The superstitious Nigerian in me really needs to let you know that one day, you will be at the mercy of a corp member you treated badly.

7. You aren’t special because you’re doing a job you hate

Hating your job doesn’t make you special; it makes us mates. Corpers hate their jobs too, but they don’t go around making other people’s lives miserable.

Ibukun

February 3, 2022

Aluta and Chill

NYSC, service
8 of the Wildest Things Nigerian Students Have Done in the University
Chasing a university degree in Nigeria is extreme sports; maybe that’s why Nigerian university students do the most.

Here are the wildest things students do in Nigerian universities.

1. Party all night and still make it to morning classes

Nigerian students would spend the night cubbing and still show up at a 7 a.m. class the next day. These days, capitalism has us by our throats. If you try going “outside” on a Sunday night, you can almost die at 9 a.m. meeting the next day. Life comes at you fast.

2. Students on drugs

This thing was a whole pandemic. One day in DELSU, this guy had a seizure in the middle of a 500L exam. Turns out he’d overdosed on drugs. Bro, you’re literally at the finish line. Whyyyyy?

Some other guy stole his drug test results from the school hospital. He got caught and expelled.

3. Receiving awards with convoys

Wannabe student celebs would pay departmental directors of socials to give them awards. At the departmental night, when the awardees were called to receive the award, every single person they knew would dance with them to the podium to receive the award. Make it make sense!

4. Ponzi Schemes

Fam, this was a whole pandemic that year. You couldn’t walk five steps without someone approaching you to “bring someone”. After the first ponzi wave passed — when schemes like MMM and Ultimate Cycler crashed — students started building websites that’d crash after 30 minutes. The race to cash out was insane because people knew they’d lose serious money but were still willing to bet on being one of the first to “get help”. Fam, 2016 was the pits!

5. Going to Night Class to sleep

People literally left the comfort of their beds and braved the dangerous night streets, only to go and sleep on wooden desks after 10 minutes of cramming.

6. Sex in strange places during Night Class

People were having sex on the staircase of Carver Building, fam! They’d read for like 30 minutes and then sneak out one after the other for “fresh air”. A couple in Babcock University was caught having sex in the gutter — a dry gutter, but still.

7. Going to the school library to sleep

People who usually did these were those serious but average students who you’d only ever see in class. After classes, they’d head to the library until night. You’d think they were always reading but guy, na disguise. Have you ever been to Nnamdi Azikiwe Library in UNN? That’s the most comfortable place to sleep in the whole school, and those students took full advantage.

8. “Airport flights”

This was more of a survival skill. Male hostels are the absolute ghetto. Typically poorly maintained, nobody uses the shared toilets unless you want to invite diseases into your body. So, students would wait until night, stroll into the surrounding bushes (the “airport”), spread a nylon bag and squat. Once they were done, they’d fling the bag of shit further into the bush — catching flights.

Editor’s picks:
1. How Nigerian Students Prepare for Exams (in 12 Bad Habits)
2. 10 Things To Do With Your Life Immediately After Uni
Ama Udofa

February 1, 2022

Aluta and Chill, Campus

Nigeria, Nigerian students