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Daniel Orubo, Author at Zikoko!

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  • 13 Pictures You’ll Relate To If You Are Living The Generator Life

    1. Being born into the PHCN struggle:

    God, why not the abroad na?

    2. Your generator’s best friend:

    Except when there is fuel scarcity sha.

    3. When you are about to put on your gen for the night and they bring light.

    See what God can do.

    4. You, checking that house everyone uses to know if they have brought light.

    Their own gen is never on.

    5. When they bring light and none of your neighbours come to tell you.

    Is it like that you used to do?

    6. When NEPA shows its true colours.

    I knew it was too good to be true

    7. You, sitting in the dark and waiting for them to bring the light back:

    I’m sha not risking it again.

    8. When they bring light and nobody in your house wants to go and change over.

    It’s not me sha

    9. You, when your generator dies in the middle of the night.

    Who is doing me from the village?

    10. When your generator dies but your neighbour’s own is still on.

    It will now be sounding louder than normal.

    11. When you put on the small gen but you forgot to turn off the AC.

    The struggle.

    12. How you look at your generator when the rope cuts:

    Hay God!

    13. When you realize your phone wasn’t charging and it’s time to put off the gen.

    Kuku kill me.

  • 1. The eba stick that doubles as a weapon:

    Your mother’s favourite.

    2. The iron sponge that is always on the brink of death:

    Your only friend when washing that evil pot.

    3. The Nylon bag full of even more nylon bags:

    For what? Only God knows.

    4. The only seasoning that matters:

    More important than water sef.

    5. The bowl every visitor uses to wash their hand before they eat:

    Because God forbid they enter the kitchen to wash their hands.

    6. The almighty microwave cover:

    Nigerian mothers swore it would prevent cancer.

    7. That bowl with a wedding or burial sticker:

    If not for Owambes would Nigerians even have kitchen utensils?

    8. That handle-less pot that is “older than you”:

    You mother had the pot before she had you. Show it respect.

    9. The eva bottle filled with palm oil:

    The realest oil ever made.

    10. The infinite number of unwashable plastic containers:

    That stain will NEVER go out.

    11. Those plastic covers with their matching bowls nowhere in sight:

    Always more covers than actual bowls.

    12. The blender that smells like pepper no matter how much you wash it:

    Can even try and blend anything else without tasting pepper.

    13. The morning fresh that is more water than actual morning fresh:

    It always lasts longer than it has any right to.

    14. The ice-cream bowl full of disappointment:

    It will never not hurt,

    15. The “there is rice at home” bag of rice:

    How rice is not on the Nigerian flag is beyond us.
  • 13 Pictures That Accurately Describe Morning Devotions In Nigerian Homes

    1. How your parents come to wake you up in the morning:

    You people should chill, biko.

    2. When you open your eyes and it’s still pitch black outside.

    Hay God! What time is it?

    3. When your whole family is waiting for you to lead opening prayer.

    Why me na?

    4. When your mother decides to lead praise & worship, so you know you will clap tire.

    Get ready for at least 10 songs.

    5. You, trying your best to not fall asleep.

    The struggle is real.

    6. When your mother starts using what you did during the week to preach.

    Sub me jeje.

    7. Your father, when he hears you and your siblings gisting.

    We are sorry, sir.

    8. When your parents turn the devotion into a full-blown Sunday service.

    Kai!

    9. Your parents, when they catch you dozing off:

    You are now possessed, abi?

    10. When the devotion was meant to last 30 minutes and 1 hour has already passed.

    Somebody save me.

    11. When the person that is meant to lead closing prayer starts off with another song.

    How is it doing you?

    12. When your mother still prays right after you just lead closing prayers.

    Ah! You don’t trust my own prayer to reach God?

    13. When you think it’s over, then this song restarts it.

  • Struggles You’ll Understand If Your Beard Has Just Refused To Connect

    1. When hair decides to grow everywhere else on your body except your chin.

    Is it fair?

    2. When you go to the salon and your barber shaves off the 3 strands you’ve been managing.

    See this bastard.

    3. You, rubbing methylated spirit and indian hemp on your chin like:

    Baba God, do it for your son.

    4. Your face, whenever you see a Gillette ad on TV.

    Stop the torture.

    5. When you see an Igbo babe that has more hair on her chin than you.

    I’m jealous.

    6. How you look at men that actually have and decide to shave it off:

    God will judge you.

    7. What your chin looks like if you decide to go months without shaving:

    See my life.

    8. You, remembering all the lies your Biology teacher told you about puberty.

    Where is the facial hair you promised?

    9. When the only hair growing on your face is just a useless moustache.

    Who sent you?

    10. When your hair finally decides to start growing on your chin but it now refuses to join your sideburns.

    What is now the point, biko?
  • 12 Celebrity ‘Glow Ups’ That Will Give You New Prayer Points

    1. God, let my enemies not recognize me like Cynthia Morgan.

    2. God, add colour to my life like Yemi Alade’s wardrobe.

    3. God, relax the exchange rate like Korede Bello’s hair.

    4. God, airbrush my problems like Rita Dominic’s picture.

    5. God, let my future be as bright as Toke Makinwa’s new skin.

    6. God, let my account balance glow up like Mo’ Cheddah.

    7. God, take me from razz to royalty like Uncle Olamide.

    8. God, turn my ratchet to riches like Mummy Omotola.

    9. God, add plenty flesh to my testimony like Skales.

    10. God, upgrade my career like Seyi Shay’s style.

    11. God, give me a reason to smile like Oga Davido.

    12. God, turn my night to day like Tonto Dikeh’s complexion.

  • How Speech And Prize Giving Day Was For All The Non-Efikos

    1. How all the class efikos sit in front during speech and prize giving day:

    Let’s do this.

    2. Those unbothered students that only came for free drinks and food:

    Where is the meatpie, biko?

    3. You, when just one student is collecting all the gifts for your set:

    Who is this one?

    4. How the students that get called out for best in Maths and English walk out:

    WINNING!

    5. All your classmates, when the class olodo’s name gets called:

    Say what?

    6. How your mother looks at you when it’s almost over and they still haven’t called your name:

    See your life.

    7. When your father comes with all his friends and you haven’t won anything.

    Hay God!

    8. When your friend that always stabs class with you gets called out and you’re still empty-handed.

    WOW! So it’s like that?

    9. When your mates are getting called out for ‘best in Physics’ and you hear your name for ‘best in Yoruba’.

    To use and do what?

    10. When the efikos open their prizes in front of you and you’re just seeing water bottles.

    See nonsense.

    11. You, when the class oversabi’s name doesn’t get called out.

    OUCH!

    12. How you leave the speech and prize giving day empty-handed:

    It can pain.
  • 12 Odunlade Pictures Every Yoruba Demon Will Relate To

    1. You, devising new tactics to catch your prey.

    Have to be prepared.

    2. When you finally meet a light-skinned Igbo babe that is stronger than you.

    This one has passed me.

    3. When your girlfriend catches you in bed with her sister so you vex till she apologizes for coming home too early.

    Next time call before you come home.

    4. When you see your girlfriend you’ve cheated on 70 times shaking her male co-worker’s hand.

    These women ain’t loyal.

    5. When your girlfriend is bringing up marriage after just 7 years, so you dump her.

    Impatient woman.

    6. When you see your ex being happy and fulfilled without you in her life.

    See me see trouble.

    7. When your girlfriend accuses you of cheating but you’ve been faithful for 2 whole days.

    With all my effort?

    8. When you realize you have finally fallen in love.

    Hay God!

    9. When you see a babe you like and she is telling you she is married like that one is your business.

    Is that what I asked you?

    10. How you use N200 credit to call the 27 women in your life:

    As a professional.

    11. You, trying to deceive all your side chicks that your heart belongs to them.

    Only you baby.

    12. When you hear one of your 26 side chicks is leaving you to get married.

    The pain.
  • 15 Pictures That Will Give You Serious Common Entrance Flashbacks

    1. The common entrance book of life:

    Ugo C. Ugo for the win.

    2. When your school forces everyone to do mock exams to prepare.

    Don’t add to my stress.

    3. When your parents force you to attend one local common entrance lesson:

    What is all this?

    4. When you ask your parents for a new math set and they start asking you JAMB questions.

    “What about the one we bought for you 4 years ago?”

    5. How you look at Primary 4 students that want to follow you and do common entrance too:

    Wait your turn biko.

    6. You, jacking the Friday before your common entrance like:

    Secondary school is my portion.

    7. How you see the maths and quantitative common entrance questions:

    Wetin be dis?

    8. You, waking up on the Saturday of common entrance like:

    The day has arrived.

    9. You, looking for your friends when you get to your common entrance centre:

    Where are my people?

    10. How you stroll into your centre with 12 extra pencils and 10 biros:

    My body is ready.

    11. When you see them repeat questions you crammed in your Ugo C. Ugo.

    WINNING!

    12. You, when the invigilator starts dictating answers for some of the students.

    Ah! Is it like that?

    13. You, waiting for your parents to come and pick you from the centre when it’s over:

    I want to go oh.

    14. When your result finally comes out and you passed the cut-off mark.

    YES LORD!

    15. Your face, when you remember you still have interviews to do:

    Hay God! It’s not over.
  • 14 Things That Would Never Happen In Any African Home

    1. When your mother sees you resting and lets you be.

    https://twitter.com/chidimma_rita/status/744634407739228161?lang=en

    2. When your mother actually gives you a straight answer.

    3. When your father gets the remote by himself.

    https://twitter.com/VixenKouture/status/744645076048056320

    4. When your parents support your non-medical profession.

    5. When there’s no ‘African time’ at play.

    https://twitter.com/l0velystephey_/status/744667899483152386

    6. When your parents actually do a chore by themselves.

    7. When you don’t have to wash plates.

    https://twitter.com/callmeminxiemay/status/744625285220417536

    8. When the oyinbo teacher actually gets your name right.

    https://twitter.com/Allison__OG/status/744655741047345152

    9. When the girl vomiting in the Nollywood movie just has malaria.

    10. When your parents don’t shout at the top of their lungs.

    https://twitter.com/tribe_zuzu/status/744689868706570240

    11. When the person you parents call your aunty is actually your aunty.

    12. When your parents actually like the person you’re dating.

    https://twitter.com/callmeminxiemay/status/744626838727757826

    13. When your parents don’t think your left hand is of the devil.

    14. When your parents don’t compare you to your classmate with 2 heads.

    This is post is brought to you by MAGGI @ 50:

    The big idea for the MAGGI 50th anniversary campaign is: Let’s Celebrate. We intend to do this primarily by sending gift boxes containing specially curated ingredients and gifts to women influencers pan Nigeria & beyond for trusting MAGGI in the past years, and in the future ahead. Click the link below to learn more.
  • 17 Tweets By Nigerians That Are As Hilarious As They Are True

    1. When you are broke:

    2. This subtle shade at igbo names:

    3. The fear of MOPOL:

    4. The Nigerian “wrong number” epidemic:

    https://twitter.com/PRINCE_VIII/status/704048196167868416

    6. This Christmas curve:

    https://twitter.com/Lamide_/status/674390895186329600

    7. The real use of Nigerian ovens:

    8. Flavour’s accurate new name:

    9. This valid concern:

    10. This tweet about the “giant of Africa”:

    11. This perfect Nigerianism:

    https://twitter.com/Adeola_Cule/status/761107613291388929

    12. This tweet about 50 cent:

    https://twitter.com/BrianJDennis/status/761475614415159296

    13. This tweet that is as funny as it is sad:

    14. This tweet about traffic in Nigeria:

    15. When your boyfriend is an enemy of progress:

    https://twitter.com/tolaakinn/status/756512035672821760

    16. This I-Just-Got-Back’s story:

    https://twitter.com/Ralph_Lewis/status/241160101002637312

    17. This tweet about Caitlyn Jenner:

    https://twitter.com/IBRAHEEYM/status/751831152315490304
  • 15 Pictures You’ll Relate To If You Attended The University Of Port Harcourt

    1. You, chopping mouth during the school anthem until it’s time to shout…

    That’s the only part you know.

    2. When a Uniport babe sees a group of Nelson Mandela boys.

    Just dodge them.

    3. You and your guys, queuing up in front of Mama Abuja like:

    THE BEST!

    4. How TBD looks once exam time table comes out:

    They will now come with pillow to “read”.

    5. UPTH and “no bed space”:

    All. The. Time.

    6. How the Man O’ War in school saw themselves:

    Always doing the most.

    7. When you see couples loving up at Love Garden in Delta Park.

    Don’t go and read your book.

    8. How you queue to enter shuttle at Abuja park:

    The worst.

    9. When 4 different classes are holding at the Arena at the same time.

    LCS struggles.

    10. How people pray when it’s time to write basic or certificate exams:

    It’s now that you remember God, abi?

    11. Whenever you finish climbing the stairs at Ofrima.

    Kuku kill me.

    12. How 70% of the students go to town as soon as weekend reaches:

    BYE!

    13. When you see that old pastor between Delta Park and Choba preaching about hell fire.

    Stop judging me.

    14. How you hail pharmacy students that have managed to reach final year:

    Na you oh!

    15. When you see your guy that is owing you money eating at Emmatex or Sunnas.

    This one must be mad.
  • The Stress Of Having People Try And Pronounce Your Name Abroad

    1. How people react when they hear your name the first time:

    Their brain is already frying.

    2. Your face, whenever someone tries to pronounce your name:

    Chai!

    3. When someone asks if you have “an easier name”.

    You will learn today.

    4. You, calculating how much time you spend sounding out your name for people:

    Wasting my life.

    5. When you still have to spell it for them right after pronouncing it.

    STRESS!

    6. When people still get your name wrong after you’ve corrected them a million times.

    Are you mad ni?

    7. When people give you a nickname you hate against your will.

    Did I send you?

    8. When a teacher hesitates during roll call and you know they are about to destroy your name.

    Hay God!

    9. You, whenever someone says “sorry if I butcher your name”:

    Save your sorry.

    10. When they correct you when you say “Susan” wrong, but can’t get “Kunle” right.

    See your life.

    11. When you can’t even remember the true pronunciation of your own name again.

    Everybody has already scattered it for you.

    12. Your face, whenever someone asks what your name means:

    You can like to mind your business.

    13. When you stop telling people your name first and just start spelling it.

    No energy, abeg.

    This is post is brought to you by MAGGI @ 50:

    The big idea for the MAGGI 50th anniversary campaign is: Let’s Celebrate. We intend to do this primarily by sending gift boxes containing specially curated ingredients and gifts to women influencers pan Nigeria & beyond for trusting MAGGI in the past years, and in the future ahead. Clink the link below to learn more.
  • 15 Nigerian Meals That Will Treat You Better Than Your Current Bae

    1. Ogbono soup that will never forget to send you ‘good morning’ texts:

    2. Banga soup that will always notice when you change your hairstyle:

    3. Egusi soup that will ignore Premier league to gist with you:

    4. Efo riro that will use it’s school fees to buy you the latest iPhone:

    5. Okro soup that will let you cheat on it in peace.

    6. Puff puff that will take you to Dubai for Valentine’s day.

    7. Akara that won’t wait for you to be broke before blessing you with credit alert:

    8. Dodo that will stay awake and fan you when NEPA takes light at night:

    9. Ewa Agoyin that won’t start squeezing face when you ask to meet it’s family:

    10. Nkowbi that will buy YOU something on its own birthday:

    11. Asun that will let you eat it when you say you’re hungry:

    12. Catfish peppersoup that will never take more than 10 seconds to reply your messages:

    13. White rice and stew that will give you Bella Naija proposal:

    14. Fried rice that will always send you monthly allowance out of its salary:

    15. Jollof rice that will buy car for you when it’s still jumping bus:

    MAGGI knows good food is the best bae. Follow the hashtag on Facebook and Instagram: #GoodFoodIsBae

  • 15 Times This Picture Perfectly Described Painful Nigerian Situations

    Nigeria’s basketball team, D’Tigers, had a photo-shoot in Brazil that basically broke the internet.

    But we are actually here for the ‘jonzing’ meme Olaseni ‘Shane’ Lawson blessed us with:

    1. When you shout the wrong answer in class with confidence.

    2. When you tell your friends that you’re travelling abroad for the holiday and your parents tell you to pack for village.

    3. When you text a babe you like and her boyfriend replies you.

    4. When you say “last card” and your friend gives you pick 3.

    5. When you get credit alert and you check and see N20 POS Loyalty.

    6. When you’re arguing with your boyfriend and he is confidently missing the point.

    7. When your card gets declined on your date after you’ve finished eating.

    8. When you’re moving in for a hug and she stretches out her hand for you.

    9. When you’re about to enter her DM and she posts an ‘I just said yes” engagement picture.

    10. When you tell her you love her and she says she loves you too… like a brother.

    11. When the ATM finishes making the ‘krrrrr’ sound, but nothing comes out.

    12. When you pay for her plane ticket and another man picks her up at the airport.

    13. When the last match casts your sweet bet slip.

    14. When you storm off hoping the market woman will call you back but she lets you walk away.

    15. When you smile at a fine babe in the club and her friend is the one that smiles back.

  • The Sick Bay Hustle In Every Secondary School

    1. You, going to the sick bay when you know your teacher is going to inspect your notes.

    I cannot come and chop cane.

    2. When you carry your friend that just vomited in class to the sick bay.

    You will now stay there with them to dodge class.

    3. How you run to the sick bay when you didn’t do your assignment:

    It’s not me they will beat today.

    4. You, looking at that girl that always faints when they are about to flog the class:

    Oversabi.

    5. How all the boys rush to carry the girl to sick bay when she faints:

    See these ones.

    6. When you stab class and lie that you were in the sick bay and the teacher wants to go and confirm.

    Hay God!

    7. How you feel when you successfully convince the nurse that you’re sick:

    “and the Oscar goes to…”

    8. You, when the nurse now gives you actual drugs to take.

    Uhm. Actually…

    9. When you go to the sick bay with a cough, a cut, a broken leg or heartbreak.

    That’s all you people know.

    10. How the sick bay nurse gives you your injection:

    The worst.

    11. You, using the sick bay to dodge manual labour like:

    No cutting grass for me.

    12. How boys go to the sick bay when the nurse is fine:

    See these ashewos.

    13. What the sick bay always looks like during evening prep:

    You people should do and go, abeg.

    14. How you sleep in the sick bay when you know they are flogging your classmates:

    The best.

    15. You, leaving the sick bay when the class you were stabbing is over:

    WINNING!
  • 13 Pictures Only Proper Fans Of Mr Eazi Will Understand

    1. You, the moment you hear “ZAGADAT”:

    My body is ready.

    2. When a Nigerian musician says “it’s your boy…” but it’s not Mr Eazi.

    Will you leave this place.

    3. You, playing a Mr Eazi song for the first time:

    It’s already a jam.

    4. You, whenever they start playing ‘Hollup’ on the radio:

    No other option.

    5. How you sing when ‘Skin Tight’ comes on:

    The best.

    6. You, trying to find a Mr. Eazi song you don’t like:

    Nope. Doesn’t exist.

    7. When you’ve been at a party for 5 minutes and the DJ has not played Mr Eazi yet.

    This one is not a serious person.

    8. When someone asks you what your favourite Mr Eazi song is.

    Chai! See JAMB question.

    9. How you feel when someone you introduced to his music starts jamming it:

    Wondafuu.

    10. When someone tries to tell you that all his songs sound the same.

    Save it.

    11. You, praying for Mr Eazi to blow even more:

    Baba God, do it for your boy.

    12. How you treat people when they discover his music:

    WELCOME!

    13. You, waiting for Mr Eazi to drop his album already:

    Drop it for us oh!

    For those of you who have never heard of him, well, you’re welcome:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djfEaX2tA7M
  • 13 Pictures You’ll Definitely Relate To If You Love Agege Bread

    1. When you’re hungry and no Agege bread seller has passed your house.

    Is it fair?

    2. You, when you finally hear “AGEEEEGEEEE BREAAAADDD!!!”

    YESSS!!!

    3. When you see an ewa agoyin seller walking beside the agege seller.

    WONDERFUL!

    4. When you’ve already seen the bread you’ll pick before the hawker even drops her tray.

    No be today.

    5. When she opens the nylon and the smell of hot bread hits your nose.

    My body is ready

    6. When they try to sell you agege bread that is not white and soft.

    See my life oh.

    7. You, when the woman asks if she should put butter.

    So that what will happen?

    8. When someone tries to tell you about how it is unhealthy because of bromate.

    Did I ask you though?

    9. When you buy the bread and find out it’s not ‘today’s own’.

    Hay God!

    10. When you hear someone compare sliced bread to agege bread.

    Better respect yourself.

    11. When the only burger you recognize is ‘risky burger’.

    12. You, dipping your agege bread in tea when no one is looking.

    What is shame?

    13. When you eat your agege bread with akara in the middle.

    MAGIC!
  • The Differences Between Growing Up In A Nigerian Home And Growing Up Anywhere Else

    1. When you misbehave anywhere else:

    When you misbehave in a Nigerian home:

    How will they now ground someone they don’t even allow to go out?

    2. The washing machine anywhere else:

    The washing machine in a Nigerian home:

    Your clothes oh, your parents’ clothes oh, your neighbour’s clothes sef, all join. You will wash.

    3. When your parents see you resting anywhere else:

    When your parents see you resting in a Nigerian home:

    What have you done that you are resting?

    4. The dishwasher everywhere else:

    The dishwasher in a Nigerian home:

    That big pot on the stove is sha your worst enemy.

    5. Saturday mornings anywhere else:

    Saturday mornings in a Nigerian home:

    You will clean the house till it’s time to go to church the next day.

    6. The car wash everywhere else:

    The car wash in a Nigerian home:

    You will wash under the car join.

    7. Before you go to bed anywhere else:

    Before you go to bed in a Nigerian home:

    Bedtime stories ke? Read your bible and sleep biko.

    8. The TV remote anywhere else:

    The TV remote in a Nigerian home:

    Which one is remote when you are there to change channel.

    9. How your parents wake you up for school anywhere else:

    How your parents wake you up for school in a Nigerian home:

    Better wear your uniform and be going to school.

    10. The vacuum cleaner anywhere else:

    The vacuum cleaner in a Nigerian home:

    Oya go and carry that broom and packer.
  • 13 Words That Do Not Exist In Your Nigerian Parents’ Vocabulary

    1. “Allowance”

    Which one is allowance? Are they not ‘allowing’ you live in their house for free? My friend, will you leave this place.

    2. “Privacy”

    You want them to give you privacy in their own house? You want them to knock before they enter your bedroom? You’re a joker. You will get privacy when you move out and marry.

    3. “Dating”

    Which one is dating? Better face your book, graduate, then you can ‘date’ your spouse after both of you have married finish.

    4. “Sex”

    Sex doesn’t exist. Simpu. The end. Full stop. Bye.

    5. “Rest”

    Rest ke? Are you God? Even God created the whole world before he rested? What have you done in your small life that you are resting? You can rest when you have died, abeg.

    6. “Please”

    Why are the people that gave birth to you telling you “please” biko? So they should beg you to bring the remote that is right beside them? You are not a serious somebody.

    7. “Sorry”

    Shebi people only say sorry when they are wrong? Well, there you have it, your parents can never be wrong. So why should they even know that word?

    8. “Thank you”

    Wait, you want your parents to thank you for doing something? See this comedian. The only time you might mistakenly hear those words is if you tell them “I love you.”

    9. “Adult”

    You think you are now an adult because you have turned 18 abi 21? Ehn go and report to the police that your parents don’t know what adult means. You will still chop all these slaps and punishments.

    10. “Sick”

    You’re not sick, you are well in Jesus’ name.  Now stand up from that hospital bed, wear your uniform and be going to school.

    11. “Sleepover”

    You want to go and sleep inside another person’s house? You don’t have house? You don’t have bed? Infact, you don’t have sense.

    12. “Whispering”

    Why should they be whispering? If they don’t shout on the phone and at the person standing right beside them, how will people now hear what they are saying?

    13. “Grounded”

    Which kind of oyinbo nonsense is that one, abeg? Go an bring that cane from their room now now jare.
  • The Stress Of Having Your Nigerian Mother Buy Clothes For You

    1. When you tell your mother you need clothes and she asks if you’ve finished wearing the ones you have.

    Hay God!

    2. When your hear your mother shout “come and see if this shirt is your size”.

    YES!!!

    3. Your face, when your mother says “you’ll grow into it”:

    Be lying.

    4. When you ask your mother to buy adidas for you and she comes home with:

    “What’s the difference?”

    5. When you ask your mother for a suit vs. When you ask your mother for jeans:

    If it is not “responsible” cloth, you are not smelling any money.

    6. When she uses a broomstick to measure your shoe size before going to the market.

    Which one is this?

    7. When she still comes home with shoes that are two sizes too big.

    She will now give you paper to chook inside.

    8. When you ask her to help you buy something and she makes you follow her to the market.

    Hian! On top socks?

    9. When she refused to buy that shirt you liked just because of extra N500.

    Na wa oh!

    10. When she buys your Christmas clothes in July because it will be cheaper.

    Mama the mama.

    11. When she buys you something and you ask her how much it was.

    “Do you want to give me the money back?”

    12. When she buys you and all your siblings the exact same cloth.

    Who is doing ‘and co’ with you people?

    13. You, on that rare occasion your mother actually buys you something you like.

    Wow! So you sabi like this?
  • 13 Rihanna Pictures That Perfectly Describe The Nigerian Dating Cycle

    1. When that fine boy you’ve been eyeing finally calls you “big head”.

    PROGRESS!

    2. When your boyfriend doesn’t know he is your boyfriend yet.

    Don’t worry you will soon know

    3. When you whatsapp your man “I love you” and he leaves your message on ‘read’.

    Chineke!

    4. When your boyfriend is complaining that you bought him singlet for Valentine’s day but all his singlets kuku have holes.

    See your life.

    5. When your boyfriend of 4 months hasn’t already proposed to you.

    Am I a joke to you?

    6. You, waiting for your boyfriend to finish lying so you can bring out proof.

    Keep talking oh!

    7. When your boyfriend said he’d call you after the match and the match ended 3 minutes ago.

    It’s like I’m now single.

    8. When you spot potential husband material but your boyfriend is still gumming body.

    Can I see road biko?

    9. When you decide to finally leave your yeye boyfriend for greener ‘sugar daddy’ pastures.

    It’s not by fine boy, abeg. BYE!

    10. When you can’t gist your best friend about your new bobo because it’s her father.

    The struggle.

    11. When your sugar daddy told you he was busy at work then you see him enter the bar with his wife.

    WOW! So it is like that?

    12. When it’s already been 1 year and your sugar daddy has still not left his wife like he promised.

    Is it fair?

    13. When you now find out your sugar daddy is cheating on you and his wife.

    Wow. So better bae is not by age.
  • 13 Things About Day Students That Annoyed Every Boarder

    1. When you ask them to help you buy contraband and they start forming.

    It’s not your fault sha.

    2. How you see the students that charge boarders to help them buy stuff outside:

    These ones will use to buy house.

    3. When you can hear day students gisting about Paloma and Diego in class.

    Because you have TV abi?

    4. When day students bring cold water to school and start forming stingy for you.

    On top cold water sha?

    5. How day students look in the middle of the term vs. How you look in the middle of the term:

    It’s dining hall food that is causing it.

    6. Your face, when day students start asking you for hostel gist:

    Face your front, biko.

    7. How you look at day students when they bring their phones to showoff:

    See that one.

    8. You, watching day students eat the food they brought from home.

    Chai! See chow.

    9. When day students are talking about their weekend plans and you’re just there like:

    Me that will be washing boxers.

    10. How you spend your money vs. How day students spend their money:

    The worst.

    11. How you look at day students that wear all the clothes they have at home for socials:

    Calm down na.

    12. When a day student tries to form familiar with you and your guys.

    BE GOING TO YOUR HOUSE OH!

    13. You, watching day students leave school at closing time:

    It can pain sometimes sha.
  • 17 People Hilariously Share What Being Nigerian Means To Them

    1. When you get scared that NEPA is actually doing their work.

    https://twitter.com/razaqiii/status/758657172016361472

    2. The Nigerian disciplinary starter pack:

    https://twitter.com/_lifeofoj/status/758619804941115392

    3. When you come together to defend your jollof:

    4. When all our parents agreed to tell the exact same lie:

    https://twitter.com/skiwo/status/758609812120866816

    5. When you tell your parents about your dream:

    https://twitter.com/tomiisking_/status/758610630542815232

    6. When you watch your mother price like a boss:

    https://twitter.com/donhalogen/status/758608730535686148

    7. Nigerian mothers and asking this question:

    8. When you want to go and visit your friend.

    https://twitter.com/thedejibalogun/status/758579288123830272

    9. When you dish too much food:

    https://twitter.com/thatnaijagamer/status/756947107903311872

    10. When your parents betray you:

    11. The look that says more than a thousand words:

    https://twitter.com/bubae_n/status/717779623241719808

    12. Nigerians and rice:

    13. The real Nigerian secondary school experience:

    14. When you go to a Nigerian pharmacy:

    https://twitter.com/skiwo/status/758379051023228928

    15. When your food falls on the floor:

    16. When your teachers always did the most:

    17. When you attend an Owambe:

  • 15 Things To Say To Your Parents If You Really Don’t Want To Live Another Day
    WARNING: PLEASE, DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME!

    1. When your father compares you to your age mates.

    https://twitter.com/officialdaddymo/status/760407704011767808

    2. When your mother is disturbing you during morning devotion.

    3. When your mother wants to leave you in charge of your siblings.

    4. When your aunty reports you for not greeting her well.

    https://twitter.com/sleeky__jnr/status/760296262373564416

    5. When your mother complains about you “pressing phone”.

    https://twitter.com/degostee/status/760281586130644992

    6. When your mother forces you to talk to one of your relatives.

    7. When your father tells you to go and wash his car.

    https://twitter.com/tonyvodka/status/760220293499682816

    8. When you don’t greet your parents visitor:

    9. When you give your mother something with your left hand.

    https://twitter.com/tolu_19/status/760202666324754432

    10. When your mother tries to remind you that she gave birth to you.

    11. When your parents start talking about how they came first in school.

    12. When your mother asks you where something is.

    13. When your mother wants to “help you keep” your money.

    https://twitter.com/afolabiige/status/760190794359767041

    14. When your mother says she doesn’t want to hear “PIM”.

    15. When your mother tells you to defrost the chicken.

    https://twitter.com/subdeliveryman/status/760187398307192836
  • 15 Pictures That Are Too Real For People That Didn’t Joke With Musical Chairs Growing Up

    1. How you run out when you hear it’s time for musical chairs:

    I’m ready to win that extra party pack.

    2. When you’re still dancing like a normal human being because the chairs are plenty.

    They don’t know the real you is about to emerge.

    3. How you eye each chair facing you as you approach it:

    Can’t risk it, biko.

    4. You, dancing in the direction of the chair as you pass it like:

    Music fit stop any foken time.

    5. How you look at the Dj when the song is almost over and he has not paused it:

    How is it doing this one?

    6. When all of you get carried away by the jams the DJ is playing.

    TURN UP!

    7. You, when the music stops without any warning:

    Chineke!

    8. When you and another child have half nyansh on one chair and you successfully push them off.

    YESSS!!!

    9. You, looking at that child that refuses to accept they are out of the game:

    Hian! Leave this place na.

    10. When your friend moves your chair right before you land on it.

    Wow! Is it like that?

    11. How you feel when the music stops for you right in front of a chair:

    See what God can do.

    12. When someone sits on your lap and refuses to stand up:

    Respect yourself, biko.

    13. You, watching people go back to their seats in shame when they lose:

    Come and be going, abeg.

    14. How you play when there is only one chair left:

    It is no longer a game.

    15. How you sit on the last chair when you win the game:

    WHERE IS MY PARTY PACK?
  • 12 Of The Best Performances From The First Season Of The Voice Nigeria
    The first season of The Voice Nigeria is over and while we mourn our Sunday nights, all of us at Zikoko decided to pick our favorite live performances. If you don’t agree, no need to vex, just drop a comment on which performance you think we missed.

    12. Joe Blue’s energetic performance of Amy WInehouse’s ‘Rehab’:

    11. A’rese’s winning performance of Jeff Buckley’s ‘Hallelujah’:

    10. Dewe’s impressive version of Bez’s ‘There’s A Fire’:

    9. Cornel’s powerful performance of Bryan Adams’ ‘Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman’:

    8. Vicky’s soothing rendition of Adele’s ‘To Make You Feel My Love’:

    7. David Operah’s beautiful performance of R. Kelly’s ‘I Believe I Can Fly’:

    6. Michael’s incredibly smooth performance of Luther Vandross’ ‘Never Too Much’:

    5. Vicky’s surprising performance of Sia’s ‘Elastic Heart’:

    4. Chike’s wonderful spin on The Proclaimer’s ‘500 MIles’:

    3. Nonso Bassey’s incredible version of Shontelle’s ‘Impossible’:

    2. Brenda’s showstopping version of Meghan Trainor’s ‘All About The Bass’:

    1. Promise’s perfect rendition of Flavour’s ‘Golibe’:

  • The Struggles Of Following Your Parents To Their Friend’s House

    1. When your parents are warning you not to eat anything in their friend’s house

    Na wa for una.

    2. How they greet each other:

    Old people sha.

    3. When the first thing their friend says to you is “you’ve added oh.”

    What should I now do?

    4. When they start complaining about your hair, your dress, or how you greeted them.

    It’s not your fault sha. It’s my mother that dragged me here.

    5. How your mother looks at you when her friend offers you food:

    “I’ve already eaten, ma.”

    6. When your parents are gisting with their friend and you try to add mouth.

    Ah sorry ma.

    7. When you misbehave and your mother gives you that ‘when we get home’ look.

    I’m dead oh!

    8. When your parents start reporting things you did months ago to their friends.

    Can we move on though?

    9. When your parent’s friends think they are substitute parents and start giving life advice.

    Can you not?

    10. When your parents make you wash all the plates you met in their friend’s sink.

    I’m now house help for rent, abi?

    11. When they force you to go and play with their children that you don’t even know.

    Chai! Is it by force?

    12. When you were done with the visit 3 hours ago but your parents are still lost in their gist.

    Chai!

    13. When your parents say “let us go” and they actually stand up to go.

    Praise Jesus!
  • 15 Of The Most Popular Zikoko Posts From July 2016
    These were the most read, shared, and laughed at Zikoko posts from the month of July. So, in case you missed any of them or just want to read your faves again, we did what we at Zikoko do best and made a list:

    1. When You Know It’s Marriage O’clock

    wedding shoot You won’t go and marry?

    2. 13 Pictures That Basically Define Breakfast In A Nigerian Home

    yam and egg BREAKFAST: RICE

    3. 12 Times Nigerian Pre-Wedding Shoots Were Just Extra

    PRE-WEDDING Nigerians and senrenre sha!

    4. 10 Nigerians That Actually Have Two Heads

    chimamanda “Chima that came first, does she have two heads?”

    5. 15 Pictures That Prove Yoruba Movies Have No Chill At All

    odunlade Yoruba movies are special.

    6. 15 Pictures You’ll Recognize If You’ve Ever Stepped Into A Nigerian Kitchen

    icecream From the eba stick to the ice cream bowl full of disappointment.

    7. 16 Dining Hall Struggles Every Nigerian Boarder Will Remember

    dining hall Saving lives when provisions finish.

    8. 18 Things Every Nigerian Will Remember About Their Parents Having Visitors Over

    visitors sit You turned into their unofficial waiter.

     9. 14 Weird Ways Nigerian Parents Show That They Love You

    parents “Have you eaten?”

    10. 13 Images About Prep That Won’t Make Sense To Nigerians Who Didn’t Go To Boarding School

    prep The worst period ever.

    11. The Different Types of Nigerian Fathers That Exist

    fathers One of these fathers is exactly like yours

    12. The Case Of The Nigerian Minister Who’s Afraid Of Saying Vagina

    vagina He compared vagina to a fan belt.

     13. The Hilarious Story Of Jollof Rice’s Love Life

    jollof Jollof rice is that babe every boy wants to date.

     14. The Most Embarrassing Exam Leak Happened In Ethiopia, But The Government Clapped Back

    copy copy They blocked all social media sites in the country.

     15. Kim Kardashian Came For Taylor Swift And The Reactions Are The Most Hilarious Things On The Internet

    taylor kim That time Kim brought ALL the receipts.
  • 13 Pictures That Describe Your Saturday Mornings Growing Up

    1. Your mother, when it’s Saturday morning and you’re still sleeping:

    See this lazy child.

    2. When you hear your mother blasting gospel music and you know endless cleaning is about to go down.

    Hay God!

    3. When you try to eat breakfast before you’ve done any work.

    Eat what?

    4. When your mother sees you watching Cadbury’s breakfast television before you’ve finished your work.

    Is this child mad?

    5. When you are already cleaning the whole house but your mother is still like:

    Hian! What is it?

    6. When you think you’ve finished and your mother invents new work for you.

    Chineke!

    7. When you hear “today is environmental” but every Saturday is already environmental sanitation to you.

    See these ones.

    8. You, finally eating breakfast when it’s almost evening:

    This one has passed brunch.

    9. When you want to go out that Saturday so you wake up by 3am to do all your chores:

    Can’t risk it oh!

    10. When your mother leaves the whole kitchen for you to clean after her Saturday cooking.

    Is it fair?

    11. The worst Saturday morning chore:

    THE ABSOLUTE WORST.

    12. When NEPA waits for you to complete all your chores before they take light.

    Who is doing me from my village?

    13. When you are finally about to rest and you hear “let’s go to the market.”

    WHAT IS IT OH?
  • 17 Nollywood Translators That Need To Learn Their Work
    Instead of doing their translating work, these Nollywood translators were doing everything else:

    1. This translator that did not sleep well before work.

    2. The translator that is getting paid less than minimum wage.

    3. The translator that did not eat before work:

    4. The translator they are owing salary:

    5. The translator that is on strike:

    6. The translator that is looking for career change:

    7. The translator that has just given up completely:

    8. The translator that was distracted by chest and jacuzzi:

    9. When the translator’s deadline is midnight and it’s 11:55pm:

    10. This translator that failed spelling class:

    11. This translator that is afraid to just say “single”:

    12. The translator that was gossiping at work instead of translating.

    13. This translator that would clearly rather start their own business:

    14. This translator that got carried away with the parable:

    15. This translator that REALLY needs to learn their work:

    16. This translator that was watching Peak milk advert:

    17. This translator that was busy reading Zikoko instead of doing their work:

  • 13 Things You Will Find In Every Nigerian’s Garage

    1. That deep freezer full of stockfish and goat meat:

    Probably 2 freezers sef, if there is space.

    2. A stack of buckets nobody is using to do anything:

    WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY BUCKETS?

    3. Ghana-must-go bags filled to the brim with nonsense:

    That thing you think you misplaced 5 years ago?  It’s inside one of them.

    4. Old cans of paint no one will ever use:

    For what ehn?

    5. At least 3 fuel kegs because NEPA is an enemy of progress:

    Can’t risk it.

    6. Mattress for the relatives that come and “visit”:

    “Visit” that turns into living sha.

    7. Every broken gadget that has ever passed through that house:

    AC oh, VHS player oh, EVERYTHING!!!

    8. The dynamic duo of Nigerian foods:

    As if we are storing for the Apocalypse.

    9. That Christmas tree and dead Christmas lights that are older than you and your siblings:

    Buy new ones ke? For what?

    10. All your old textbooks and report cards from primary school to secondary school:

    Because that 1999 Ugo C. Ugo might still be useful one day.

    11. Old shoes they swear they’ll still wear, even though one leg is missing:

    “It just needs polish.”

    12. All the plates, bowls and umbrellas from all the Owambes they’ve ever attended:

    And there have been A LOT of Owambes.

    13. The special cutlery you only use during christmas and when really important guests come:

    Not for you people oh, you’re not special enough.

    So, basically EVERYTHING is in that garage except their actual car:

    Our parents are special, abeg.
  • 16 Pictures You’ll Get If Your Friends Have Ever Visited You In Your Parent’s House

    1. When you’re begging your parents to let your friend come and visit you.

    You have to bring PowerPoint presentation to convince them.

    2. You, reminding you friend to greet your parents properly.

    Better don’t be doing anyhow.

    3. How your parents look at them if they come and visit earlier than 12pm:

    Chai!

    4. How your parents look at them if they are still in your house when it’s dark:

    Be going, biko.

    5. When your friend doesn’t greet your parents properly and you already know that friendship is over.

    Chai! Time to find new friend.

    6. How you look at your friend that prostrates to greet your parents:

    They will now be comparing both of you forever.

    7. When your parents spend half the visit interrogating your friends.

    Okay, Mummy FBI, can you go now?

    8. When your mother asks “have you offered your friend anything?” and they say no.

    See this one. You don’t have food in your house?

    9. When your friend of the opposite sex says they want to come to your house.

    Abeg oh! I’m not ready to die yet.

    10. When your mother offers them food and they reject it.

    Hay God!

    11. When your friend says “your parents are so nice.”

    It’s because you’re here oh.

    12. When you make them ask your parents to allow you to go out so they don’t say no.

    I sabi, abeg.

    13. How your friend looks when your parents start shouting on you in their presence:

    Well, this is awkward.

    14. When your friend wants to leave your house without telling your parents first.

    Better respect yourself.

    15. When your parents that were smiling with them start insulting them immediately they leave.

    “Don’t bring that idiot to my house again.”

    16. When it’s time to go and visit that friend and your parents ask “how many times have they come here?”

    Are you serious?
  • 13 Images For Anyone Who Loved Dancing Competitions Growing Up

    1. You, entering the birthday party with your dancing shoes like:

    TURN UP!

    2. The MC at every single Nigerian birthday party:

    Always looking like they came out of a horror movie.

    3. When the MC calls your age group to come out for the dancing competition.

    My body is ready.

    4. Awilo Longomba blessed us with the dancing competition song of our childhood:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a6KHE2ICqg

    5. When the DJ starts the music and you scatter leg to win that extra party pack.

    Today is my day.

    6. How you look at that child that is still dancing when the DJ stops the music:

    See this one.

    7. That child that refuses to leave the dance-floor without a fight:

    Please come and be going.

    8. You, when the MC asks the crowd “is he the winner?”

    Baba God do it for your child.

    9. How Nigerian adults always shout the answer:

    Hian! Calm dow na.

    10. When they use loudest clapping to measure the winner but you don’t have any friends.

    See my life.

    11. You, trying not to cry when they finally bounce you.

    Let me hold myself.

    12. You, when the MC now shouts “EVERYONE TELL HIM BYE BYE!”

    Are you not a demon?

    13. When the celebrant wins the dancing competition.

    The making of Nigerian politicians.
  • 15 Pictures You’ll Relate To If You Did Food And Nutrition In Secondary School

    1. When they asked you to choose between Food and Nutrition and Agric.

    The one with food, abeg.

    2. You, entering ‘Food and Nutrition’ class expecting constant chow:

    My stomach is ready.

    3. When you realize the ‘Food’ in ‘Food and Nutrition’ is silent until practicals.

    Why are you teaching me about carbohydrates ehn?

    4. Your Food and Nutrition note after just one term:

    Just kill me oh.

    5. You, looking at the Food and Nutrition exam questions like:

    I did not agree for this one oh.

    6. When your teacher tells you to bring money to buy apron and cap for practical.

    Please don’t stress me, abeg.

    7. How your classmates start famzing you days to the practical:

    Better famz well.

    8. Your friends, waiting for you to finish practical like:

    See these ones.

    9. When the whole school hears that Food and Nutrition practical is over:

    You people have not seen food before?

    10. How people dodge your food when you’re the only boy doing Food and Nutrition:

    Ah! Is it like that?

    11. You, when teachers sef are using style to beg for food.

    Better beg with your chest.

    12. When your food is so good it reaches Administrative block:

    I sabi the work.

    13. What your Food and Nutrition teacher allows you to take to your class after the practical:

    What is this, abeg?

    14. How your teacher shares the cake you baked:

    Hay God!

    15. When that oversabi’s food is so bad, the teacher lets her take everything home.

    It can pain sha.
  • 15 Breathtaking Pictures Of Nigeria, By Nigerians
    Nigeria is seriously stunning, and if you rolled your eyes at that statement, these pictures taken by our fellow Nigerians with the TECNO Camon C9 should easily convince you.

    1. This flawless picture of the Mapo Hall in Ibadan:

    2. Another picture of the Mapo Hall, because it’s just that beautiful:

    3. This beautiful shot of the Abuja National Mosque:

    4. This wonderful picture of the must-see Zuma rock in Abuja:

    5. This breathtaking image of the Gurara Falls in Niger State:

    6. The lush landscapes in the beautiful city of Kaduna:

    7. This glorious picture of the Ferris wheel at the Polo Park Mall, Enugu:

    8. This impossible shot of the Ngwo Pine Forest in Enugu:

    9. This gorgeous aerial shot of Lagos:

    10. This beautifully constructed building in Victoria Island, Lagos:

    11. Another breathtaking aerial shot of Lagos, because Lagos:

    12. This stunning shot of the Okpu-Oku stream in Enugu:

    13. This amazing picture of Lagos’ Third Mainland bridge:

    14. This flawless image of Agodi Parks & Gardens in Ibadan:

    15. This wonderful shot of the National Arts Theatre in Lagos:

    So, if you want to have a camera that takes flawless pictures like these, get the TECNO Camon C9 and stop carrying last.

  • 14 Things You’ll Find On Every Nigerian Mother’s Dressing Table

    1. That cream she doesn’t want to accept has finished:

    Mummy, let it go.

    2. Those creams she only used once and never used again:

    Why are they still there though?

    3. The dusting powder that was more for you than her:

    The answer to every skin condition known to man.

    4. Her weave on’s best friend:

    Always slacked, but they will never let it go.

    5. Her anointing oil that is the answer to EVERYTHING:

    Always there, just in case.

    6. Her unofficial sewing kit:

    The pain you feel when you open it expecting to actually see cookies.

    7. Her matchy-matchy jewellery:

    For her special Owambes.

    8. Her all-purpose wig:

    Always ready to give her that quick slay.

    9. The reason that her wig has lasted so long:

    Pink oil is every wigs fountain of youth.

    10. That extra mirror she has even though the dressing table has one giant mirror:

    WHY?

    11. All the combs she has even though she only ever uses one:

    When you’re not a hairdresser.

    12. The brown powder that doesn’t even have to match her complexion:

    They will still use it like that.

    13. That tiny tray filled with drugs (by drugs, we mean paracetamol):

    But look well because they are most likely expired.

    14. Her infinite supply of cotton buds:

    It’s always full.
  • 19 Pictures You’ll Get If You Were Ever Part Of A Choir In A Nigerian Church

    1. When your mother forces you to join the youth choir.

    Hay God!

    2. Every Nigerian choir’s best friend:

    That Yamaha keyboard.

    3. When you come for choir practice on Saturday and nobody is around.

    You will now wait forever.

    4. When the choir leader tells you that you’re taking the solo on Sunday.

    Just like that?

    5. When the choir hasn’t sang Kirk Franklin in two Sundays.

    Something must be wrong.

    6. Nigerian choirs and “Jehovah you are the most high” X 1000

    They must sing it.

    7. When the person leading praise and worship starts singing an oyinbo song nobody knows.

    Where do you think you are?

    8. How the choir runs to the mic when the pastor suddenly starts singing during the message:

    Can’t leave the pastor hanging.

    9. When the choir spends half of choir practice arguing about the colour scheme for Sunday.

    Na wa for una.

    10. When the choir leader tells everyone to wear a colour you don’t have in your wardrobe.

    STRESS ME!

    11. How the congregation gingers the children choir whenever they come to perform:

    You people don’t clap for us like that oh.

    12. When a guest choir comes and sings better than your own choir.

    You tried small.

    13. When a new choir member tries to suggest a song.

    Sit down, biko.

    14. When that oversabi chorister starts singing louder than the soloist during ministration.

    Calm down, ma.

    15. That choir member that always forgets to cover her hair then starts looking for handkerchief before ministration.

    ALL THE TIME.

    16. When the choir leader makes you sing one line from a song for 20 minutes.

    Can we round up though?

    17. When the person leading the ministration catches the holy spirit.

    THE BEST!

    18. When you hear “all choir members wait behind.”

    NOOOOO!!!

    19. You, whenever someone says “choir girls are the worst.”

    I’ve heard you.
  • 13 Things You Will Recognize From Falling Sick In A Nigerian Home

    1. When you tell your mother you’re sick and she says “you’re strong in Jesus’ name.”

    Amen! But I’m still vomiting sha.

    2. How your parents see themselves when you fall sick:

    You people are now doctors, abi?

    3. When your mother feels your forehead to check your temperature.

    Hian! Is it only malaria?

    4. The real doctors in every Nigerian home:

    Nigerian parents not-so-secret weapon.

    5. “I have a cold.” “I was shot in my leg.” “I was hit by a trailer.”

    Robb is the answer when you don’t even know the question.

    6. The last stop before your parents actually take you to a hospital

    Can’t even imagine using it to cook. It is anointing oil now and forever.

    7. The sick Nigerian’s unofficial diet:

    THE BEST.

    8. When you think sickness will stop you from going to school.

    When it’s not that you’re dead.

    9. When your parents still wake you up to go and wash pot.

    Hay God!

    10. Your mother, when you fall sick on a Sunday.

    Holy Spirit will heal you.

    11. When you vomit in front of your parents.

    That’s the only explanation.

    12. When your parents suddenly start acting nice to you.

    Oh? I should fall sick more often.

    13. Your mother, if your sickness lasts longer than 4 days:

    Better get up.
  • 13 Pictures About Nigerian Politicians That Are Beyond Accurate

    1. Nigerian politicians summed up in a poem:

    Too accurate.

    2. Nigerian politicians and “resign”:

    What is a “resign”?

    3. This one about the INEC chairman:

    Free and fair ko.

    4. When Nigerian politicians show you their true colours.

    ALL THE TIME.

    5. Nigerian politicians and their counterparts abroad:

    See these ones.

    6. Nigerian politicians and equality:

    “It is unafrican.”

    7. This perfect shade:

    Too perfect, abeg.

    8. This very apt correction:

    Nobody is happier than a Nigerian politician.

    9. Nigerian politicians and misplaced concern:

    Na wa!

    10. The only things Nigerian politicians know how to say:

    Where their vocabulary starts and ends.

    11. This one about the national cake:

    Manage the rest.

    12. This one about Nigerian politicians and indecision:

    They must not carry last.

    13. This one about Nigeria’s money:

    Is it a lie?
  • 15 Pictures That Prove Yoruba Movies Have No Chill At All

    1. This pastor’s interests:

    Oshey new age pastor.

    2. This unforgiving lender:

    See this one.

    3. This unsatisfied wife:

    8 rounds? When it’s not tennis.

    4. This film poster with North West:

    From where to where?

    5. This vengeful ghost:

    Lmao. They didn’t even try with this ‘ghost’.

    6. This very descriptive madam:

    *COUGHS*

    7. This effective metaphor:

    Well, that’s an interesting way to phrase it.

    8. This incredibly weird request:

    We don’t even want to know.

    9. This scene that defies explanation:

    We have no words.

    10. This honest confession:

    He is just speaking his mind sha.

    11. This insanely weird question:

    Wait, WHAT?

    12. The case of the missing pant:

    Cynthia has a point.

    13. See ehn, we are done.

    Lmao. What is this, abeg?

    14. This creepy threat:

    Ah! Just like that?

    15. This brand new word:

    ‘Sexically’ is our new favourite word.