What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subject of the week.

Today’s Man Like is Yimika Owoaje, a musician and creative. He talks to us about switching from engineering in university to becoming a creative, support from his father and his plans for the future.

How would you describe yourself?

I’m a creative that has put my hand in different things at different times. Initially, I started with writing and that snowballed into me shooting videos. In uni, I started a parody news podcast called Straight Out of the Calabash where I discussed African news in a hilarious way. Then I also started trying to rap. The keyword is “trying” because I was terrible, but I was having fun making them. Then I got interested in films and writing them so my parents encouraged me to enrol at the London Film Academy for a masters in screenwriting. 

Your parents seem supportive of your chosen creative path.

They are. My dad, a lecturer of music at the University of Ibadan, is also a creative, so he understands and encourages my passion for the arts for this reason. We even collaborated on a song together.

What’s your favourite memory of your dad?

It has to be when we made the song together. One time, I came home and asked him to lay down a sax solo for a beat I just made and he agreed. The song named Canada is one of my favourite works because my dad and I were able to come together as creatives and bond over music. When I finished producing the track and played it for him, he sent me a text saying he was proud of me. I felt victorious and happy  I hadn’t let my father down.

Why were you thinking you had let him down?

Well, I felt that way since he tried to make me start playing a musical instrument in childhood, but I just wasn’t interested in it. Also, the way my school issues panned out, I felt that way a lot.

What happened?

I started out studying industrial and production engineering in university, but I hated the course so much. It was boring and I struggled in class. It also didn’t help that my hall of residence was far from my department, and I had to walk all the way because I had crashed my car a few weeks before school resumed. 

One day, I told my mum I didn’t want to do the course anymore. She was sceptical at first because she really wanted me to be an engineer, but she saw that my heart wasn’t in it. So I switched to sociology. I wanted to be a writer and I wanted a course that would give me a good grasp of human society.

You seem closer to your mum.

Yeah. My dad hardly shows emotions and keeps to himself. My mum is more vivacious. She’s also my personal person; we talk freely and I even tell her about the women I’m talking to without expecting to receive an awkward lecture about safe sex and being careful.

My mum is always in my corner encouraging me to do what I’m passionate about. She always tells me she believes in me and my work. She’s been a pillar for most of my life. 

That’s nice. Outside academics, how was university life for you?

There were two parts. Initially, I felt like I was in the shadow of one of my closest friends. He was literally bigger than I was and more popular. Later, I became part of a group of creatives I met at the University of Ibadan called Mad District. We did all sorts — skits, podcasts, videos. That was how my creative journey started. Over time, I sort of became popular and many people knew me. I had a lot of fun during this period.

Then you travelled for film school.

For a while, I didn’t feel like I deserved to be travelling abroad for film school when I had not created a short film. I was worried I would end up disappointing everyone. My former workplace didn’t think I was talented enough to work with them after my NYSC, so why did my parents think I was worthy of going abroad for film school? I had been in proximity to the industry when I worked as a production assistant and nobody had recognised my talent, so I was afraid I didn’t have any.

What happened at the job?

I wasn’t enjoying what I was doing. To be honest, I wasn’t the best employee. Before I got the job, I thought it was going to be an avenue for me to create and go wild, but it turned out that my job was just to carry lights and filming equipment. It was monotonous work. That was when I started making skits and short videos, as a way to purge all the thoughts I had compressed in my head. It was my way of procrastinating.

What are your plans after film school?

I’m romanticising the idea of becoming a staff writer on a TV show in the UK. It’s something I’d really love to do and would be a dream come true. Maybe a movie or two. I’d like to bring Nigerian culture to the big screen and change the narrative that all we have are poor kids with flies on their faces.

How did moving from Nigeria to the UK affect you?

I’ve come to the land where light doesn’t go and the internet flows like water, so it’s been great so far. I’ve been able to create more.

What’s been the most jarring difference between living in Nigeria and the UK?

Cars stop for you to cross and nurses don’t shout at you. 

Lool.

Check back every Sunday by 12 pm for new stories in the Man Like series. If you’d like to be featured or you know anyone that would be perfect for this, kindly send an email.

In most cultures, Nigeria included, the responsibility of initiating interaction between two people in a prospective heterosexual relationship usually rests on the man. But what happens when women take the lead and make the first move? We spoke to four men who tell us about how their women shot their shot.

Sadiq

We met while I was in uni when I had to settle a dispute between her and her class rep. She spoke so well but I didn’t think much of it. We exchanged numbers after we resolved the conflict and kept in touch.

During the Student Union Government elections, she somehow found a shirt that I had lent to a mutual friend and asked me to come to pick it up at her place. That evening, she made yam and egg stew and I left without collecting my shirt. We started talking more frequently after. She’d come to check on me and talk for hours. She’d also send me food and airtime. I was having a great time with her. 

On my birthday, she took me to a mini-mart, bought me drinks and a cake and she took me to her place and we had our own private party. She told me she liked me in a way she couldn’t explain. She told me she wanted me in her life as her backbone. That was how we started dating.

Tunde

On my birthday, a mutual friend posted my picture and tagged me. She slid into my DMs and wished me a happy birthday and asked for her birthday cake. I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time so I gave her the green light. It’s been a beautiful relationship and I’ve loved her even more since then. She’ll never agree that she’s the one who moved to me. The same way she doesn’t want to accept that I love her even more.

Uche 

We had been talking for a couple of months before she asked me out. I felt great because she’s smart, beautiful and I’m incredibly attracted to her. She matches my energy and we vibe perfectly. However, she lives in the North while I’m in the East so I turned her down the first time.

Then she got a boyfriend and she’d rub it in my face any chance she for. We stopped talking for a bit. When we reconnected, she asked me out again and I had no excuses to give. It was obvious we wanted each other very much. Even though distance ended up being an issue, we’ve been together for more than a year. I’ll see her again in January and I can’t wait.

Tony

I met this girl at my workplace. She usually gave me a ride on her way home and dropped me at her stop. She asked me out on a date and it was the best date I had ever had. I found out that she had just gotten out of a relationship, just like me. Because we worked in separate shifts, she’d bring me food. We even once went on a weekend getaway to a hotel and made great love all through.

Two weeks later, a new guy resumed at the office and she started getting closer to him. I noticed that she started picking fights with me and soon after, the relationship died. I still don’t know if we broke up because of the guy. Maybe one day, I’ll know the truth.

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subject of the week.

Today’s Man Like is Akabogu Dalu, a 29-year-old finance guy. He talks about wanting to become a boxer, how going broke taught him to prioritise his family and how he has changed since he got married.

What do you do?

I do a lot of interesting things. My day job is working as a private equity portfolio manager and advisory lead. Other times, I trade. I try as much as possible to be in every area of finance. I also make investments in startups. 

Interesting. 

Funny enough, I didn’t see myself ending up in the finance sector when I was growing up. I was a science student so I thought I was going to become a doctor, then I thought I’d be a civil engineer, boxer, and even boxing promoter. I ended up studying finance at the university because I was good at economics.

Boxer? LMAO. How?

I’ve always been obsessed with boxing. I was so good at predicting the winner of a match just by looking at the boxers’ footwork. I became an amateur boxer when I was 19 and was supposed to represent Nigeria at the 2012 Olympics. 

However, I went through a lot in the training camp and to top it all off, my coach demanded about half of the ₦30k stipend the Nigerian Boxing Federation gave me. That’s the moment I knew that boxing in Nigeria wasn’t for me. 

Later that evening, I saw one of my friends on Facebook receiving congratulations for a finance job. That’s when I realised that I wanted to go into finance, after all, I had graduated one of the best in my class in finance. 

What happened next?

I got a job as a corporate banker at a popular commercial bank. It paid me well, but I hated it.

Why?

I wanted to do core finance. But my role as a corporate banker meant that I was just a glorified marketer. Only people who brought in major clients to open accounts were promoted and I wasn’t learning anything. You were only as valuable as the amount of money you could bring in. I was frustrated with the job, even though it paid well according to my standards at the time. My first salary was the biggest amount that had ever entered my account and I made sure to enjoy myself with the money. I was flexing, pursuing women of all shapes and sizes, and clubbing. 

So after three years, I quit the job at the bank after two years. It turned out to be the roughest year of my life.

Omo. How?

That was the year I saw poverty face-to-face. I had saved up four months worth of salary by then and thought that would be enough till I got another job. How wrong I was. I ended up remaining unemployed for almost a year. All the women I was chasing ghosted me. My savings were wiped out. I became so broke, my clothes were becoming rags and I couldn’t afford to eat on some days. I used to use an anonymous account on Twitter to beg for money. That’s how bad it was. 

That must have been so hard. How did you get by?

My younger brother was there for me a lot during that year. He was just a fresh graduate at the time but he did his best to support me. One time, he made ₦10k from sports betting and he gave me half of it. I was moved to tears because when I had money, I hardly took care of him or my family. That was when I realised how much I had not been supportive of my family. They weren’t a priority to me while I was making money because I was focused on myself.

I promised my brother, “When I get my next job, I’m going to become really good at it, make enough money and send you out of this country.”

That was when I realised that at any point in time, the first quadrant of your income should be reserved for people who are/were pivotal to your growth as a person. Always make sure your people are okay. People I thought were my friends ghosted me and the only support I had was my family. 

What happened next?

After a year unemployed, I got another job in an investment house and things started picking up. I said, “This job, I will die here. I will learn everything there is to learn and become incredibly good at it. I’ll make sure I never stay at home unemployed again.” I was always the first to get to the office and the last to leave. I was honing all my skills with the fear of poverty on my mind. I didn’t have a life; I was always on YouTube learning a skill or the other in finance.

From there, I moved to a corporate consulting firm and from there I moved to a private equity firm where I’m currently a Vice President. 

Congratulations, man. What was your game plan?

It was full-on hard work. I’m not the smartest guy, but you can’t outwork me so I used that to my advantage. Now, I’m in a better place financially. I fulfilled the promise I made to my brother and sent him abroad this year. I work hard to make sure I can provide for my support system. If I hadn’t had that tough period in 2016, I probably still wouldn’t have prioritised their welfare the way I do now. 

It’s why I’m equivocal on the black tax conversation. My sisters treat me like their personal ATM and honestly, I don’t mind. I prefer they ask me than ask from some random person outside. I see it as my responsibility, a kind of repayment for all the support they’ve given me. They were pivotal to my development, the least I can give them is my financial support. 

What else do you do?

I’m focused on making money so they never have to want anything. Asides from my day job, I trade stocks, bonds and other risky ventures, like investing in startups. As a younger man, I used to take a lot of risks. I lost a lot of money and I made a lot of money. I used to adhere to the “Go big or go home” principle. I don’t do that as much anymore because now I consider how the decision is going to affect my family before making it. 

What does your family look like?

I have two brothers and two sisters, alongside my mother and father. 

What was growing up like?

It was a decent upbringing. My dad is from a family of spare parts dealers and was also one himself so he swore that none of his kids would end up as a parts dealer. My dad made sure we were properly educated. We were doing fine until our apartment burnt down in 2005 and my father lost all his goods. We were pretty much bankrupt. It was a hard reset for my family.

Sorry to hear about that. How’s your relationship with your dad?

We’re quite distant. I wasn’t close to him because I was scared of him. I can’t tell him certain things I would tell my mom because we didn’t have their relationship. For example, I didn’t tell my dad when I was unemployed but my mom knew and always prayed and encouraged me. 

There was a time she had to undergo surgery and I felt terrible because I was the only one who couldn’t contribute to paying for the procedure. I’m glad that’s all history now.

That’s sad. On to lighter topics. What’s your romantic life like?

Whew. I’m married to the best woman ever.

Congratulations! What’s the most important way you’ve changed as a man since you got married?

On the night of my traditional wedding, I told myself, “See, this woman was on her own, enjoying her life. I convinced her to leave her parents’ house to come and marry her, which means that my only Key Performance Indicator (KPI) is to make sure she’s always happy.” This means my default mode is providing for her emotionally and financially to the best of my abilities.

Marriage also changed my perception of risk. When I was single, I used to make very risky financial moves. Now, I think about the implications my decisions will have on her and my unborn kids.

God when? How do you relax after a long week of work?

I work very hard in a high-pressure environment; about 50-60  hours a week. So I take unwinding very seriously. At least, every two weeks, I get a room in a 5-star hotel and just relax for the weekend. I spend them in the hotel bed watching boxing videos. I also like to laugh on Instagram.

God when?

Lool.

The thing is, life is tough. There are bills to pay and things to be responsible for and on top of all these, you still have to pretend that life is not showing you pepper. It might seem like everything is just spiralling downwards but there are a few things you can do to help you organise your life better, taking you one step towards getting your shit together.

1. Do random stuff

Like going to an art museum. It might seem like a waste of time and money but art just has a way of putting things in perspective. 

2. Manicure your nails

People that are suffering always have rough nails. If your nails are neat and trimmed, it makes it seem like your life is okay.

3. Have a skincare routine

You might be crying as you’re doing your skincare routine every night, but at least you’re doing it.

4. Wear trad.

For some reason, people always think men that wear trad have figured their lives out and have serious money. This is the best way. Wear trad today.

5. Go to the gym regularly

People who go to the gym regularly always seem like they’re doing something right in their lives. At least when they see you sweating on your way back, they’ll know that things are happening with you.

6. Spoil yourself 

Life is tough but try dey enjoy small small. It’s okay to take yourself out to dinner or buy yourself something you’ve always wanted.

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subject of the week.

Today’s Man Like is Mayowa “Shutabug” Alabi, a visual artist, videographer, graphic designer and illustrator with the BBC. He talks about experiencing different social classes while growing up, an incident that made it difficult for him to ask for help and the inspiration for his art.

What was growing up like for you?

I like to say I had a bit of two worlds. My parents didn’t want me to be so spoiled that I would be dependent on them but also didn’t want me so close to the streets that I would become wayward.  I would leave Ketu in the morning surrounded by poor students heading to public schools to Baptist Boys College in Obanikoro. I was an ajebutter in Ketu, and never quite fit in at school because I wasn’t rich like my mates. I couldn’t relate to their discussions about their vacation trips abroad or cartoons they had watched on satellite TV.

My parents tried to teach me perspective. They would sometimes send me to my rich uncle’s house for the holiday so I didn’t feel too out of place with more privileged people. I went to fancy restaurants and had lunch on cruise ships.

I also spent time with my cousins in Bariga where I got close and personal to the “street life.” I loved it for how relaxing and dangerous it was. I got the freedom to buy street food and go to game centres.

Combining the experiences taught me how to navigate Lagos, regardless of which side of the divide I interact with. I guess I found a way to balance both.

What were the finances in your home like?

In the words of M.I, we didn’t grow up poor but we didn’t grow up rich. I was an only child so I didn’t lack basic needs.  I guess it was easy for them to raise me. There were days when getting by was a struggle but my parents made sure I didn’t lack basic needs.

How was your relationship with your parents?

Growing up, I was closer to my dad than my mum because I felt like she didn’t understand me— my dad just seemed more in tune with me than my mom. As we grew older, we began to find common ground on issues.  

There was an incident that drove a wedge between my parents and me for a long time.

What happened?

Growing up, I didn’t demand much. But in my final year in secondary school, I really wanted an Xbox. Things were going well for my family, so I told my parents that if I passed my WAEC exams really well, they would buy me an Xbox. They agreed.

Because WAEC results don’t get released until later in the year, my school used a mock WAEC exam to determine awardees at the speech and prize-giving day. Unfortunately, I hadn’t paid much attention to the mock examination because I was working super hard on my exams on WAEC. My parents were disappointed that I didn’t win any prize, and they felt I was smart enough to get at least one award, even if it was in Yoruba. They said they weren’t buying me the Xbox like they promised. I was gutted. It didn’t matter that later on in the year when the WAEC result came out and I did really well —  they didn’t keep to our agreement. It was at the point I determined that I would never rely on them for anything I wanted. I had to find a way to make money.

Omo. What did you do?

I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember. When I got out of secondary school, I didn’t enter the university immediately because I wanted to study law but I was offered English education instead. During that year, I started learning graphic design.

And then?

I still didn’t get into law the following year. This time, I was offered political science, and I took it. 

It was a depressing period for me. But I think if I wasn’t studying political science, I wouldn’t have been able to find my dream career as an artist. I’d probably be somewhere saying “My lord” to a judge in a stuffy wig and gown if I had gotten law like I wanted.

I was getting money from designing flyers in Unilag for 2k-5k. In my third year, I got a job with Co-Creation Hub (CCHUB), where I worked for six years.

What did your parents think?

They didn’t know until my final year. I was getting a salary and an allowance. I was balling every month, ordering stuff from ASOS. During the holidays, I would ask to go back to the hostel. I said I wanted to go and study for the new semester, but the truth was I just wanted to be able to go to work. They found out about it in my final year, and I think they were relieved because they didn’t want me to be job hunting after school 

Six years after joining CCHUB, I left and became a freelance artist. 

Where do you get inspiration for your art from?

Frankly, I copy. It comes from looking at other people’s work and thinking, “If this artist can do this, I should give it a shot.” This doesn’t mean that I rip off the artist. I just want to see what the process would feel like. At the end of it, a distinct style comes out. I do that to make sure I never run out of ideas.

The inspiration for my art comes from Lagos. I used to use public transport a lot — danfos and BRTs. And every so often, I’d happen on an interesting scenario like a fight after two cars had brushed each other. My art gives me an opportunity to explore things I feel strongly about. 

Like what?

Independence. I’m an only child, so I’ve been on my own right from the jump. I’m used to doing things on my own. 

The Xbox incident with my parents also made it difficult for me to ask for help, from them or anyone else. People think I’m standoffish or snobbish because I like to do things on my own. I’m learning to manage to ask and receive help when I need it.

I hope you do. What are your plans for the future?

In the short term, I’m trying to stack up enough cash so I can focus on my long-term plan, establishing art schools in Nigeria. A lot of focus is placed on technical subjects like medicine and engineering with little attention paid to the arts. There’s a lot of artistict talent in Nigeria that just needs to be nurtured.

That’s interesting. When you’re trying to relax from work, what do you do?

On some days, I’m either sleeping, watching something on Netflix or playing video games. On others, I’m just talking to a friend.

Check back every Sunday by 12 pm for new stories in the Man Like series. If you’d like to be featured or you know anyone that would be perfect for this, kindly send an email.

Are you a man who would like to be interviewed for a Zikoko article? Fill this form and we’ll be in your inbox quicker than you can say “Man Dem.”

Nobody likes a guy with long, grimy fingernails if we’re keeping it a buck. Apart from being an injury hazard to you and everyone around you, you’re keeping a barracks of germs under your fingernails, no matter how often you wash your hands. And please, don’t tell us that your idea of nail care is putting your fingers in your mouth and biting it off, bacteria and all.

If you’re the kind of guy who’s secure in his masculinity and isn’t worried about being considered emasculated, that’s awesome. You can just walk into a nail salon and get your finger and toenails cared for.

But if you’re the type of guy who wouldn’t be caught in a nail salon because it’s a “feminine” space, let’s help your life small. Here are 5 essential nail care tips for men to leave you with attractive hands.

1. Trim your nails with a nail cutter.

Preferably when you just got out of the shower, trim your nails across the topmost part. It’s okay to trim to the point where there’s no white part, but try not to pinch your nailbed with the cutter.

2. Shape with a nail file.

Cutting with a nail cutter might leave the edges sharp, so you should buff the edges of your nail with a file. It gives it a more rounded look, prevents breaks and keeps it blunt.

3. Push your cuticles back.

Cuticles are the tissues that connect your nails to your skin. Even when your nails are neat and trimmed, rough and overgrown cuticles can still make them look weird. This is usually done at a nail salon but you can do it at home by yourself with a cuticle remover.

4. Moisturize your hands

When you’re done, rub some hand cream or just regular lotion on your hands to keep them soft.

And voila. You now have nails and hands that people won’t run away from.

Smelling good is all part of the image of a big man you’re trying to paint for yourself, but how do you do that in this sapa economy Beuxhari has bestowed on us? We talked to Donald, a perfume enthusiast who also helps the man dem find the best perfume deals and mixes. He told us about 10 men’s perfumes for less than 20k that will have you smelling like you married Dangote’s child without having to drink garri till your next salary or allowance.

Editor’s note: These prices may change depending on Emefiele’s latest antics in the Central Bank.

Armaf Ventana

You want to smell like you’re using Dior Sauvage but you don’t want to have to sell your dad’s land to buy it? Armaf Ventana fragrance will have people think you’re using Sauvage, but only for ₦15k.

Club De Nuit Intense EDT 105ml

The fragrance doesn’t come on too strong, and neither does this price, at ₦18,000.

Blue Touch

Sources say Franck Olivier was wilding out when he made this perfume. It will set you back about ₦10k. It gives a faint hint of Acqua Di Gio so if you like it, Blue Touch is your guy.

Armaf Tres Nuit

You have only ₦15k and you want to smell like new Naira notes? This is the one.

Oud Vanille

Like the name suggests, this one will have everybody wanting to lick you and you’ll find it around 10k too.

Maison Alhambra Avant

You want to smell like you just rubbed shoulders with a senator? This is the one, and it costs around ₦8k.

Pride of Armaf

Donald says this is one of his favourite perfumes for less than ₦20k. Armaf really isn’t letting us go with this on, for ₦15,000.

Lataffa Oud for Glory

Never mind the name that sounds like it was made in a certain church; it’ll only set you back ₦11k but boost your rep like mad.

Raghba Wood Intense

Okay, it’s ₦10k you have? No problem. Rahgba Wood Intense gives us a smokey fragrance. Think party jollof flavour in a bottle.

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subject of the week.

Today’s Man Like in Ycee, a musician. He talks about discovering music as a young boy in Festac, getting put on by Patoranking and his fallout with Tinny Entertainment.

What was growing up like?

I was a very mischievous kid; I used to get into trouble all the time. I grew up with my extended family in Festac. Everyone knew everyone, and we had very few secrets. My grandfather was my father figure in a lot of ways; my father had left the picture since I was young.

What kind of impact did being raised by your grandfather have on you?

He was a retired soldier who wouldn’t take nonsense, but he was also very sweet to us his grandkids. There was a stiff atmosphere in the house which shaped my personality because I grew up with strict rules. Because my primary school was right opposite my school, I was on my best behaviour because if I messed up, my school would report me to my family just across the street. My mom would come and flog me in school, saying the teachers weren’t flogging me well enough.

What happened after Festac?

I proceeded to Nigerian Navy Secondary School, Ojo. Here, I got the freedom to explore the world for myself. Of course, this meant getting into trouble, especially with naval officers. I was caught, more than a couple of times, jumping over the fence to escape school. 

Secondary school was also where I discovered my music. I used to write music and perform 50 Cents songs at talent shows. This made me very popular in school, especially among seniors. Also, I could never speak pidgin before I got into secondary school but mixing with kids who grew up in the barracks opened my life up to a different reality. Unfortunately, my academics suffered because I skipped classes a lot. I got a rude awakening when I repeated a class. I had come from being the top student in primary school to spending seven years in secondary.

What got you interested in music though?

When I got into SS 2, I found out there were students who were already recording music in the studio. When I heard their songs, I knew that I could do better. So I started recording music on my brother’s laptop. 

I didn’t really pursue it because, in my family, nobody was interested in hearing you say you wanted to become a musician.

When did the pursuit begin?

I started sharing my music in my neighbourhood around 2010. I had failed JAMB the previous year after being accused of using a mobile device for malpractice. So I was gingered to push my music even more. I sent my music to people’s phones via Bluetooth and spent all my time at cybercafes sending my music to music blogs and whoever cared to listen. 

At some point, I made a mixtape, The Remix Killer Mixtape, containing a compilation of different popular songs from DJ Khaled, Birdman, Tyga, Kanye, Saucekid. It did very well in Festac and a lot of people were blown away by it.

One of my friends had an older brother who was trying to get into the music business. He heard the mixtape and was impressed by it. I was invited to a studio session where I met Tinny Entertainment and got my first deal in 2012. 

Tinny fell out with another artist signed to the label called Henry Knight. They were supposed to shoot a music video for one of his songs but they ended their relationship and chose to produce my song for a video, Smile on Me. I wasn’t ready yet but it was a good opportunity, so I grabbed it. I thought I had arrived; having a music video that was shot by the famed videographer Aje, but I soon realised that it took more than a music video to grow as an artist. 

What happened next?

I wrote JAMB, finally passed and got into the University of Lagos. Meanwhile, I was putting out a lot of music but they were flops. And this was affecting my mind and schoolwork.

I always seemed to be at the cusp of a breakthrough, almost but never quite getting there. I felt like a waste of money to my record label. Because of my music career, I wasn’t doing great in school. It was like I was losing on both ends. By 2014, I told my label that I wanted to quit music and focus on uni since they were always investing in me but it never seemed to be paying off, but they convinced me not to quit.

I was getting even more disillusioned with school. I never felt like school aligned with my vision for my future self, so it was hard for me to apply myself in school.

In 2015, I got to meet Patoranking. This was when he just released Alubarika, so he was really buzzing. I would hang out at his studio and record. They were working on a particular song one day and someone said they thought Ycee would be dope on the song. I was so tired of music that when they called me to listen to the beat and drop a verse, I didn’t go until four hours later in the evening because I was chilling with my babe in school.

I eventually got there and people were so excited to get me on the beat. I didn’t even write lyrics for it; I freestyled. When the song was complete, everyone went crazy. That was like my reawakening. The song was Condo featuring Patoranking, and it was really popular. 

Sometime later there was a big show in Unilag where Patoranking was performing. He brought me on stage and gave me a shoutout, and that was how I became famous in school. 

Then I released Jagaban.

Ah, Jagaban.

Within the hour of the song dropping, my phone was blowing up with people telling me how fire the song was. They were playing it in the club and everyone would go crazy. That was when I realised this was the beginning of a new phase for me. People started asking for pictures, girls started having crushes on Ycee. 

Something a lot of people don’t know is that we released Omo Alhaji in 2015, sometime before Jagaban. Because of how well Jagaban was doing, Omo Alhaji didn’t make waves until 2016.

The songs I was putting out were doing very well, and I started to shake off the doubt and imposter syndrome.

I released Juice with Maleek Berry in 2017, and we had no idea it was going to do so well. I had recorded different versions of the song before I featured Maleek Berry. Nothing could prepare me for the madness it did.

Behind the scenes though, there was a lot going with my record label.

Tell us.

It was simply a situation where they weren’t looking out for my best interests. I trusted them, but as the years went by, I discovered that they weren’t looking out for me, only for their pockets. They rejected deals that would have been huge for me just because they wouldn’t profit a lot from it. I lost a lot of deals because Tinny turned down so many on my behalf. I had to stop making excuses for him and see that I was in a terrible business relationship.

2018 was my breaking point. I was in my mid-20s, and it seemed like I had stagnated as an artist and didn’t have much to show for my time in music.  People also started to see me less as a person and more as a source of entertainment. My life became gossip fodder. I decided to quit music altogether and leave the industry. I was tired of it.

What did you do next?

I went to the US to spend some time with my family who were now based there. I disappeared — I wasn’t picking calls or present on social media. And for the first in a long time, I felt at peace. I could start thinking about what I wanted next for Ycee and me as a person.

Someone invited me to New York, saying there were a lot more opportunities there. It was when I got there that I realised I would have been stupid to quit music. I started to see visions of what I could do with myself in the Nigerian music industry. 

So in 2018, I came back to Lagos to work on getting out of an unfair contract with Tinny Entertainment, which even their own lawyers thought the contract was unfair to me. I also had to leave because he had breached many clauses. I set up my own music label The ANBT, and I started performing and making music.

I’ve come a long way since then and while it’s not been easy, nothing beats having control over your own creativity. I was stuck in  London during the lockdown and that was a really tough period. I not only had to think about my music, but I also had to worry about sustaining myself in a foreign country with little to no income. But that period was a defining moment for me in deciding how to pursue my career because I had time to think about it.

When did your family start to warm up to the idea of you becoming an artist?

When they discovered that music was something I was very passionate about after my first music video came out in 2012. After she saw my first music video, she was in. My mom used to paint. Her parents didn’t allow her to pursue her dreams, so she made sure to allow me to explore that part of myself.

Anytime I release music, she’s one of the first to listen to it. She really wants me to make a gospel album but I don’t know; I’ve not had my Kanye West moment yet.

LOL. What inspires your music?

They’re mostly about my personal experiences. My latest project, Love Drunk, is about the experiences of a relationship I’ve just gotten out of. The studio is where I can pour myself when  I’m going through emotional stuff, and that’s what I’ve done with Love Drunk. To the listener, it’s supposed to inspire a memory from past and current relationships. Everybody has either served or been served breakfast.

What’s something people assume you like but you don’t?

Definitely drug usage. Because of my voice texture when I make rap music, people assume I do drugs. I’d be on my own, and someone would randomly offer me codeine. People I don’t know from anywhere would come online and boldly say, “Ycee dey use codeine.” People think entertainers just drink, smoke, and sleep with women in their spare time. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I actually hate drugs.

What’s a relaxing weekend like for you?

I start my weekend off playing video games like Apex Legends. After a few hours, I switch to watching Premier League football. I like to spend my evenings on the beach, sipping a drink. When it gets late, I just listen to what nightlife is saying and follow it. I prefer going to small clubs where there are not too many people. That’s pretty much it.

Check back every Sunday by 12 pm for new stories in the Man Like series. If you’d like to be featured or you know anyone that would be perfect for this, kindly send an email.

Are you a man who would like to be interviewed for a Zikoko article? Fill this form and we’ll be in your inbox quicker than you can say “Man Dem.”

If you’re a cigarette smoker who has tried to stop, you’ll probably understand how hard it is to drop the evil stick. But the benefits of quitting cigarettes are many. After only 20 minutes, your heart starts to beat normally and carbon monoxide in your blood reduces. In two weeks. You’ll have lowered your chances of having a heart attack. Most importantly, you’ll also lower your chances of different kinds of cancer. If you’re trying to quit smoking, here are nine tips to help you quit smoking cigarettes.

1. Find a reason to quit

Just quitting might be hard to stick with when you don’t have a reason to keep you motivated. It could be to lower your chances of getting cancer, heart disease or other conditions. Or it could be to help you feel and look younger, or even to protect your friends and family from second-hand smoke, which is just as dangerous as smoking a cigarette.

2. Consider nicotine replacement therapy

Smoking cigarettes get you addicted to nicotine, which is why it’s so hard for you to quit. Withdrawing from nicotine can give you headaches, mood swings, make you feel weak and slow. Using nicotine gum, lozenges and patches help improve your chances of giving up cigarettes by supplying you with nicotine while you’re trying to quit.

3. Rely on your loved ones

Let’s be real, quitting smoking isn’t easy. It might help to tell your friends and family to keep you accountable. They would also check in on you, monitor your progress and help you in times when you feel like lighting up a cigarette again.

4. Give yourself a break

One reason people smoke is that nicotine. If you find other relaxing activities, maybe you won’t feel like smoking as much. Listening to your favourite artiste, hang out with your friends, treat yourself to a massage or pick up a hobby. Working out helps you take your mind off smoking while you’re trying to quit.

5. Avoid alcohol

When you drink, it’s much harder to quit cigarettes if you smoke. If you’re used to smoking while drinking coffee, try switching to tea. It helps your brain break the link you’ve made between them.

6. Clean your surroundings

The goal here is to get rid of anything that reminds you of smoking; ashtrays, lighters, cigarette butts. Wash clothes that smell like smoke and use air fresheners to get rid of the smell of smoke.

7. Keep trying

You might not succeed in your attempts to quit the first or even the tenth time, don’t get discouraged. Use it as an opportunity to remain committed to quitting. 

8. Eat fruits and vegetables

No, nobody is asking you to go on a diet. In fact, depriving yourself of more stuff can discourage you from quitting. Eat fruits and vegetables which help your body recover from the effects of smoking easier.

9. Reward yourself

Giving yourself a reward for each milestone you meet. E.g buying yourself those shoes you’ve always wanted when you’ve gone 30 days without smoking. You can also use online apps to calculate how much money you’re not spending on cigarettes and use it to buy something for yourself.

Twitter user Oloni asked women what they were really doing when they told their boyfriends that they had fallen asleep. Let’s just say that all these women do is LIE. When she says she fell asleep, chances are that she’s in arms of another man, doing something that’s definitely not sleeping. Next time your woman tells you she fell asleep, do these 11 things.

1. Start crying.

Just start crying. All things being equal, it’s very likely that she’s collecting massive cock and screaming God’s many names.

2. Pray that she’s really sleeping.

Maybe she actually got bit by a tsetse fly and she slept for 13 hours. Maybe.

3. Don’t reply for 24 hours.

Tell her that you went into a coma yourself. What you do with this time is your business. 

4. Try not to imagine the penis she was collecting.

Try not to think about the thick veiny cock that was pounding inside her “while she slept.” You should probably not think about the fact that she was reaching back to put the penis inside her when it slips out.

5. Turn your back on her when you’re sleeping in the same bed.

Show her that you too, know how to sleep.

6. Sleep with her best friend.

She’s not the only person that knows how to play the game.

7. Slap her hand away when she wants to take food from your plate.

Since she has declared war, she must meet at the battle line.

8. Sleep with her mother.

But make sure you do it with respect. No spanking or choking or any of that stuff. She’s an elderly person.

9. Ask her to sleep on the floor when she comes to your house.

Since she knows how to fall asleep, let her start.

10. Create a burner Twitter account and drag her.

Use this opportunity to get things off your chest.

11. When she complains about what happened at work, tell her it was all her fault.

Shebi she knows how to fall asleep?

[donation]

We live in a society that expects men to provide. Across social classes, the man is considered the financial mainstay of both his nuclear and extended family. This might cause a strain on his finances and mental health. We spoke to five Nigerian men about being the breadwinners and sole providers for their families.

Ayinde

My parents were divorced when I was born. She re-married and sent me to live with my grandparents so that’s where I grew up. My grandmother is still alive and I would really love to build her a house because she’s everything to me, but I can’t possibly do that with my family depending so much on me. My step-father doesn’t provide so much for his children, my half-brothers, so they rely on me too for support. 

I hate to say this, but I’m the only one who’s doing well in the family. By default, all financial responsibilities fall to me.  I live alone but try to visit the family home once a week. Every time, I must sort an issue or the other, and this is asides from money for electricity, my brother’s tuition and pocket money. 

When I buy foodstuff, I split it into 4, of which I only get a quarter. 5 litres of oil finish in a month. Bag of rice finishes in less than two months. And the prices of food right now are insane. Asides from this, my younger step-brother who is seeking admission is always asking me for money. If I don’t give him, I’ll feel guilty. 

When I complain, my mom asks me to remembers that it’s only because other’s don’t have that they’re relying on me. It’s overwhelming. I’m always praying that everyone becomes financially stable so that they can stop depending on me. I’m grateful to God that so far, there’s been no cause to borrow. I’m very drained and tired of supporting my entire family on an income of 130k at the age of 25.

Andrew

I was raised traditionally and being the breadwinner is the man’s job and it comes naturally to us. I have that mindset so it makes it easy. It can be hectic having to pay for the kids’ private school education, holidays, and extended family needs, but it’s fulfilling and rewarding.

When it becomes overwhelming, I open up to my wife and she makes some extra income to ease the burden. Women respect you more when you play the role of provider. It sounds like a woke thing but you never find a stable relationship where they split the bills. I could never enjoy that type of relationship.

Abubakar Ali

Being responsible for my wife, kids and four siblings isn’t an easy task. I don’t have a proper job, but being able to cater for others gives me the best kind of satisfaction. I trade cryptocurrencies and that has been my main hustle for now, although I plan to start a business soon. I tried to get funding to start a poultry business but the government red-tape has been an issue.

Sometimes, I try to remember the last time I did something for myself and honestly, I don’t remember. However, as long as I’m able to take care of my dependents, I’m happy.

Oma

I’m the first son and breadwinner of my family. No matter how much I increase my income, it never seems to be enough. There’s always one more problem to solve. Even the tiniest issues are brought to my attention. I earn quite well but I can’t even afford to take care of myself.

I’m responsible for my three siblings, parents and some cousins. Two of my siblings are in covenant university. I pay their fees which comes to N1.5 million every year, handle their feeding and health expenses. My parents haven’t worked in 10 years. They spent all their savings sending me to a good university, for which I would forever owe them, but sometimes I need a break.

My cousin got married some years ago and I was responsible for half of the wedding expenses. My savings were wiped out because my parents said, “What will people say if we don’t spend on our end?” 

I recently had to change the family car because their car was really old. I had to take night jobs and a loan to buy the family a nice car. Asides from this, I was sending three orphans to school as my way of giving back to society. 

Anytime I think about my situation, I start to tear up. I make good money but I have nothing to show for it because of my responsibilities. I can’t keep a proper account of how much I spend because it just leaks till your pockets are empty. I’ve been depressed for a long time and my responsibilities are the main reason why. I rely on my antidepressants to power me through the day. I’m worried that no one would want to marry me when they realise the responsibilities I carry.

I’m fine doing these things for my parents because they sacrificed a lot for me. Left to them, they wouldn’t bother me but they don’t make any money and I can’t let them starve.

Dapo

I didn’t know how hard it would be to provide for the family until my dad passed. Then I got married a few years ago and it’s been crazy. It weighs heavily on my mental health. However, providing for my family gives me a sense of purpose. I also try to create a budget to buy nice things for myself.

On Saturday, Jameson threw parties at Bamboo Lounge and the Ikeja City Mall to celebrate World Beard Day, marked every year on the 4th of September. Of course, Zikoko went to see what’s up and we stumbled into the littest party ever. Here are five of our favourite things from Jameson’s World Beard Day events.

1. The bearded men

If bearded men are your spec, then you would have been in heaven filled with angels with beards of all textures, trims and lengths. Because Jameson is like the patron saint of the Nigerian bearded men community, there were no shortages of fine men at the event.

2. The grooming station

To whom beard is given, grooming is expected. There was a chill salon at the venues, offering complimentary haircuts and beard trims and shaping to the men at the event. Imagine a spa for your beard. From beard combing to beard conditioners, you were sure to be looking sharp after your free trim.

3. The Jameson Whiskey bar

Party no go start if Jameson no dey. There was a Jameson bar manned by Jameson’s expert bartenders giving out drinks and cocktails of various flavours, where they served guests from three options— Jameson, Sprite and Lime (JSL), Jameson Zobo Sour and Jameson on the rocks. Drinks were flowing and it kept the party lit.

4. The food

Jameson provided chops for the boys and girls with Bamboo Lounge’s kitchen. There were lots of dishes available on the menu and everyone left with a full belly.

5. The games

There were fun party games at night and the winners got free gifts from Jameson. Everyone had a swell time participating in or watching the games.