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  • The Greatest Afrobeats Albums According to ChatGPT, Ranked 

    Everyone says AI is the future. After all, it can write a 5,000-word essay faster than any human being. But does AI have taste when it comes to afrobeats music? I reached out to ChatGPT — the Beyoncé of AIs — for its top ten greatest afrobeats albums of all time. While the list looks good, I don’t agree with a couple of things. 

    Let’s get into this ranking. 

    10. Once Upon a Time — Tiwa Savage, 2013

    Tiwa Savage doesn’t get enough credit for how she has and continues to impact afrobeats. At a time when the Nigerian scene was a boys’ club, she came in and disrupted the system. 

    But while there was a lot of anticipation for her debut album, Once Upon a Time, after excellent back-to-back singles — from Kele Kele Love to Without My Heart — outside of a few standouts like Middle Passage, Folarin and Ileke, most of the non-singles on the album sounded like filler tracks. That being said, an excellent replacement for this album would be Tiwa’s 2020 masterpiece, Celia, which finally found the balance between vocalist and club-friendly Tiwa. 

    9. Get Squared — P-Square, 2005 

    Can we go back to the smooth R&B days when men were dramatic AF, break-dancing shirtless in the rain and singing about how they could treat every girl better than their current man? When they made Get Squared, Peter and Paul were knee-deep in their afro-R&B F-Boy bag. They served breakfast on Temptation, got breakfast in return on Omoge Mi, pulled up to the club in Bizzy Body and ended up with the popo on Oga Police. These men didn’t put Mary Slessor to shame with this album, and it definitely deserves to be on this list. 

    8. Baddest Guy Ever Liveth — Olamide, 2013

    Forget conversations about any big three; Olamide has always been an afrobeats icon. Since his 2010 breakout with Eni Duro, Olamide has used his music as a bridge that connected audiences to the streets of Lagos. Olamide made street pop cool, and now, we have artistes like Naira Marley, Asake, Zinoleesky and Seyi Vibez. 

    Baddest Guy Ever Liveth is top three Olamide, and it’s not number three. With songs like Eleda Mi O, the fuji-inspired Anifowose and Durosoke, Olamide created an album that started his legacy as an afrobeats GOAT deserving of a spot on this list. 

    7. Mama Africa — Yemi Alade, 2016

    Say what you want about Yemi Alade, but the woman knows her sound and audience. Fresh off the success of 2014’s King of Queens, which had her breakout hit, Johnny, Yemi Alade dropped Mama Africa in 2016 and became a Pan-African rockstar. While the album had bangers like Na Gode, Ferrari and Mama, the production sometimes feels repetitive, but how can anyone hate on that with Asake playing everywhere? Yemi Alade deserves her flowers for the colour she brings to afrobeats, and even Beyoncé agrees. 

    6. A Good Time — Davido, 2019

    We all love Davido, but before A Good Time, I never saw him as an album artist, especially after listening to OBO: The Genesis. A Good Time works well because it’s a collection of singles compiled over two years. That being said, the singles, from If to Fall and Assurance, all slap. Davido should also get a lifetime supply of agege bread for putting Wurld, Naira Marley and Zlatan on one track. However, although Davido’s contribution to afrobeats remains goated, this album shouldn’t be on this list. If we were talking about the greatest songs, that’d be a different case. 

    RECOMMENDED: The Real 30BG Know These Are the 15 Greatest Davido Songs of ALL Time 

    5. Superstar — Wizkid, 2011

    An album title can describe many things: the emotions the artistes went through while creating it, how they want their audience to feel, or their view of the world. For Wizkid, his debut album Superstar was prophetic. 

    Guided by Banky W, the singer delivered one of the most impressive debut albums in Nigerian history. With hits like Love My Baby and Pakurumo, and deep cuts like Scatter the Floor and No Lele, Wizkid had the world in his hands and still has it over a decade later. That being said, Made in Lagos, a more cohesive and expansive work, is a better album and should’ve been on this list instead. 

    4. African Giant — Burna Boy, 2019

    Whether or not African Giant is Burna Boy’s best album is up for debate. However, it’d be almost impossible to talk about the trajectory of afrobeats, especially for our generation, without mentioning the album that should’ve gotten Burna Boy his first Grammy. 

    From award bait collaborations with Damian Marley Jr, M.anifest and Angelique Kidjoe, to viral singles like Anybody, Killin Dem and Dangote, Burna Boy made a statement with African Giant, and the world listened. 

    3. Expensive Shit — Fela Kuti, 1975

    This entry is how you know AI ain’t shit. Fela isn’t an afrobeats artiste, he made afrobeat music. 

    Afrobeat is a music genre that fuses West African musical styles, such as fuji and highlife, with jazz, soul and funk. The genre is mainly recorded with heavy live instrumentation and was made famous by Fela Kuti, a pioneer. Meanwhile, afrobeats is a term that groups African pop music genres with diverse influences, such as rap, reggae, soul and R&B. 

    Since Fela doesn’t make afrobeats, he shouldn’t be on this list. 

    2. Juju Music — King Sunny Ade, 1982 

    Honestly, I’d never listened to King Sunny Ade’s Juju Music until now — let me tell the truth and shame the devil. However, listening to the album for the first time was a major experience because I realised I knew most of the songs. Living in Lagos and attending events with my mum introduced me to jams like Ja Funmi, Ma Jaiye Oni, and 365 is My Number. King Sunny Ade’s music makes it hard to pick between sitting down to relax and standing up to bust a move. This is an incredible album. However, whether or not it’s an afrobeats album is up for discussion.  

    1. Zombie — Fela Kuti, 1977 

    Fela’s Zombie is an iconic album. With just four tracks that last almost an hour altogether, the album is an enjoyable political statement that reminds us that not much has changed since 1977; after all, the government is still fucking us over. But despite being a great album, I’d like to refer to my last Fela entry. Dear, this isn’t an afrobeats album; it’s afrobeat. So much for the “intelligence” part of Artificial Intelligence. 

    ALSO READ: The Greatest Nollywood Films According to ChatGPT, Ranked

  • You Don’t Have to Like K-Dramas to Love These 12 Korean Films

    There are two types of people in the world, people who like Korean TV shows, aka K-Drama, and people like me who could care less. No, I haven’t seen Alchemy of Souls or Crash Landing on You, but that won’t stop me from admitting that Korean films are the best inventions since the first caveman decided to fry plantain. 

    Korean cinema has been delivering insane content long before and after 2019’s Parasite became a cultural phenomenon. If you’ve seen Parasite, and you’re looking for more Korean content to satisfy your craving, this list is for you. But if you’ve not seen any Korean films at all, then omo, I curated this list especially for you. 

    Burning, 2018

    If there’s one film that captures the term slow burn to a “T”, it’s Burning. Featuring Steve Yeun, who you might recognise from Jordan Peele’s Nope or the Netflix road rage series, Beef, this unpredictable thriller starts simple but descends into chaos as it spirals towards its end. After all, what could go wrong in a story about a man, his childhood friend who asks him to look after her cat while she’s away, and the mysterious man she comes back with? Basic, right? 

    Mother, 2009

    Few films have been able to stress me out the way Mother did. Mother is one of those films that stays with you long after the end credits hit the screen. The murder mystery places a single mother at the centre of its story as she embarks on a mission to clear her mentally ill son’s name after he’s accused of killing a young schoolgirl. Let me say that nothing, I repeat, nothing will prepare you for the final scene. Good luck, though. 

    The Handmaiden, 2016

    The Handmaiden is a masterclass in delivering twist after twist and turning a story on its head countless times. When you think you know where the film is going, this iconic queer thriller throws another wrench that leaves your jaw on the floor. The Handmaiden follows the relationship between a wealthy-ass Japanese heiress, the handmaiden hired to look after her, the con man who hired the handmaiden to help scam the heiress and lots of steamy sex. The Handmaiden is one Korean film I wouldn’t advise you to watch with your family, dear. 

    Memories of Murder, 2003

    Not to sound biased, but Memories of Murder is the greatest Korean murder mystery of all time, up there with David Fincher’s Se7en as one of the GOATs, period. Memories of Murder tells the story of a pair of local police officers whose lives are changed by a serial killer who targets young women and the big city investigator who comes to their village to help solve the case. Disturbing, hilarious and heartbreaking all at the same time, the film is allegedly based on a true story, making it even more unsettling. 

    Train to Busan, 2016

    Zombie apocalypse films have been done so many times (Resident Evil one to 100) that they don’t slap anymore. The characters don’t feel human, so just like the zombies, we start viewing them as disposable slabs of meat. Train to Busan, however, makes its audience connect and root for the humans as we follow a divorced dad, his daughter and several other colourful characters who try to survive a zombie attack on a moving train. It didn’t help that I watched this movie in 2020, right before the coronavirus gist started spreading. 

    Parasite, 2019

    Parasite is the most popular Korean film from the last decade, and for good reason. The first non-English film to win Best Picture at the Oscars in 2020, Parasite is a dark comedy that explores class differences through the eyes of two families, one rich and the other poor. A major achievement in filmmaking, Parasite will leave you all up in your feelings as you watch that “eat the rich” saying come to life right before you. 

    RECOMMENDATIONS: Everybody Likes Lee Min Ho, but in 2022? Come On

    The Wailing, 2016

    Let me start by saying The Wailing is long and confusing AF. I’ve seen it twice, and honestly, I’m not sure I get the whole gist. This is not to say that The Wailing is bad; it’s just hard to grasp fully, but best believe you’ll feel like you’ve seen a masterpiece when you’re done. The horror film follows a police officer who embarks on a race against time to save his daughter and his village from a mysterious sickness that turns its victims into unhinged demons. You know a horror film means business when a child is involved. 

    Old Boy, 2003

    Before Parasite became an international hit, Old Boy was arguably the biggest Korean film to hit the market in the early 2000s, inspiring a bland American remake with Elizabeth Olsen (of WandaVision). This intelligent and super violent thriller follows a man who, when freed from 15 years of confinement, is given five days to find and exact revenge on the people who stole over a decade of his life. 

    The Host, 2006

    Monster films like Godzilla, Jurassic Park and co, tend to be major blockbusters people love more for the grand scale of production and CGI than the actual story (if there’s any, to be honest). However, with The Host, we see a monster movie whose social commentary isn’t drowned out by green screen visuals or cool tricks. The horror film follows a man who must save his daughter after she’s snatched up by an S-shaped monster created from chemicals dumped into the Han River. 

    Decision to Leave, 2022

    If there’s one thing you’ll learn after watching Decision to Leave, it’s that sometimes, it’s good to mind the business that pays you and avoid trouble. This 2022 romantic thriller follows an insomniac detective who becomes infatuated with a widow suspected of killing her husband. Like, he heard she might be a murderer and still said, “Yes, baby. Off my pant.” In this life, fear men. 

    Silenced, 2011

    Based on the novel The Crucible by Gong Ji-young, and real-life events in a school in Korea, Silenced follows an art teacher who arrives at a school for hard-of-hearing children, only to discover that their teachers sexually and physically abuse the students. Silenced might be a hard watch, but it’s also a necessary one, as differently-abled people rarely get to have their stories told with such care and nuance. 

    I Saw the Devil, 2010

    In this bloody Korean thriller, an intelligence agent’s pregnant fianceé is brutally murdered by a psychopathic serial killer, forcing the agent to go rogue in a bid to ensure that the killer ends up suffering for an extended period of time, and not in prison. While I support letting the law take charge when it comes to crime, I also support the protagonist here. Like the popular Stanley Okorie song goes, “In this life, you reap what you sow.” 

    You can find these films on Netflix, Amazon Prime Video or any streaming service you use.

    ALSO READ: The Ultimate K-Pop Beginner Playlist From One K-Pop Newbie to Another

  • From “Shokori Bobo” to “Ojapiano”: Kcee is Nigeria’s Underrated Hitmaker 

    Whether its hot takes about new and old cats, or which artist really took afrobeats to the world, conversations about the Nigerian music scene seem to be limited to the Big Three (Wizkid, Davido and Burna Boy), OGs (2baba, Don Jazzy and P-Square) and the new streaming kids (Tems, Rema and Omah Lay). But this leaves several musicians in between, whose artistry has been just as influential on the scene. 

    One of these artistes is Kcee. With 20 years in the game, Kcee has had an enduring career that’s outlasted many of our faves from back in the day. While many other artistes from the early 2000s have struggled with keeping up with the times, Kcee has reinvented himself repeatedly, reappearing on the charts and in conversations you least expect him in. 

    With the increasing popularity of his latest hit, Ojapiano, we’ve decided to revisit his career and give flowers to a hitmaker who’s transcended multiple generations. 

    The Kennis Music Era 

    We can’t talk about Kcee without mentioning his KC Presh days. Kcee, alongside his friend Precious John, became famous as KC Presh in 2002, when they won the maiden edition of the reality singing series, Star Quest. The win got them a deal with Kennis Music — home to Eedris Abdulkareem, Tuface Idibia (now known as 2Baba) and Tony Tetuila — where they released their gospel-inspired debut album in 2003 and delivered jams like Sio Npo (Make a Noise), KC Presh Anthem and My Reign with Zaaki. 

    The Blingz Record Era 

    Stepping away from a major label can either make or break an artiste. So it’s safe to say audiences were shocked when KC Presh decided to leave Kennis Music, arguably the biggest record label at the time, to start their label, KP Records, in 2006. 

    Two years later, the duo re-launched the label as Blingz Record and finally released their first album post-Kennis Music, No Time, in 2008. The album was responsible for hits like Shokori Bobo, U Said U Love Me and Ginger Your Swagger with Timaya.

    Just Kcee, no Presh: The solo hit maker 

    2011 was the year KC Presh decided to say goodbye to each other, after over a decade of hits. This breakup notably impacted the Nigerian music scene at the time. Just like Plantashun Boiz before them and P-Square after, the separation put a lot of pressure on the now solo artistes to deliver songs to rival their group efforts. 

    Kcee flourished under the pressure, returning with a string of hits that solidified his spot as a major player in the game. There was no escaping Limpopo in 2012, and his 2013 debut solo album, Take Over, introduced us to Pullover with Wizkid and Don Jazzy and the wildly underrated Give it to Me with Flavour. 

    RECOMMENDED: Sarz’s Biggest Bangers Ranked by Twerkability

    Batman Kcee, meet Robin Harrysong 

    Kcee might’ve been solo after leaving KC Presh, but that didn’t mean he was alone. Like Don Jazzy and D’Banj back then, and Olamide and Asake now, Kcee buddied up with Harrysong, his Star Music labelmate. They became inseparable, giving us bangers from 2014 to 2017, when they allegedly parted ways. 

    Kcee goes to church 

    The lockdown of 2020 changed us in many ways. Some of us considered opening a bakery after successfully baking one loaf of banana bread. But for Kcee, it meant going back to his gospel roots. In 2021, he collaborated with Okwesili Eze Group to take gospel music to the clubs with Cultural Praise. The song had everyone in the spirit and became such a cultural phenomenon that Kcee decided to tap into his inner Nathaniel Bassey with Volume Two to Volume Five, and a sequel, Cultural Vibes, at the end of that year. 

    What happens when you mix Amapiano with palm wine music?  

    Everyone is making Amapiano music now. From Wande Coal to Asake, an Amapiano hit is the music version of when Nigerian tech bros decide it’s time to grow dreadlocks, pierce their eyelids and paint their nails. How else will you know you’ve made it in 2023 if people can’t blow loud whistles to your song? 

    Kcee understood the Amapiano craze but took it a step further. Instead of making a random Amapiano song, he created a sound that merged the South African import with his signature Igbo instruments and melody, delivering one of the year’s biggest hits, Ojapiano. 

    With Ojapiano, Kcee has reinvented himself one more time, fitting comfortably into the current trend without losing the ethos of what made his music popular 20 years ago. 

    ALSO READ: 10 Random AF Collabs No One Saw Coming…But Still Worked

  • Nollywood Next Gen: Meet the Actors Set to Take Over 2023

    There’s a new era of TV and movie stars in Nigeria, and we’re totally here for it. 

    Nollywood has had multiple generations of stars and fans over the years. 1990s Nollywood introduced us to OGs like Saint Obi, Susan Patrick and Regina Askia. We fell in love with RMD, Genevieve Nnaji and Omotola Jalade Ekeinde in the early 2000s. We copied fashion trends from Ini Edo, Jim Iyke and Rita Dominic in the mid-2000s. And unlocked box office magic in the 2010s with the help of Adesua Etomi, Deyemi Okanlawon and Somkele Iyamah. 

    Source: Premium Times
    Source: EbonyLife Films

    But with streaming and international projects quickly becoming the norm, a new crop of bankable stars is set to join the OGs. Read this list and learn their names because there’s a strong chance they’ll be on your screens for a long time. 

    Tobi Bakre 

    Source: Amazon Prime Video

    If there’s one Big Brother alum who’s been able to beat the “can’t act” allegations, it’s Tobi Bakre. At a time when Nollywood struggled to find leading men capable of selling movies with their charisma and looks, Tobi came in and also decided to embark on the herculean task of carrying the industry’s action genre on his back. 

    While films like Sugar Rush and Rattlesnake ignited that spark in Tobi’s audience, his deadly collaborations with Jade Osiberu in Brotherhood and Gangs of Lagos solidified his position as one of the biggest stars of our generation. 

    Genoveva Umeh 

    Source: Netflix

    Genoveva Umeh was inescapable in 2022. Between a major standoff against Kate Henshaw in the EbonyLife Thelma and Louise-inspired thriller Blood Sisters and her shippable moments with Natse Jemide on Far From Home, Genoveva was lowkey the queen of streaming last year. 

    With her current role on the new season of MTV Shuga and an appearance in the upcoming Amazon Prime original film, Breath of Life, opposite Wale Ojo and Eku Edewor, it looks like Genoveva will be around for a long time. But I don’t think anyone is complaining. 

    Chimezie Imo

    Source: Netflix

    Chimezie Imo is one of the few actors Nollywood doesn’t deserve but desperately needs. Whether he’s playing a troubled or thrill-seeking teen in coming-of-age films like Nimbe and Kasala, or the lead in a psychological thriller like Choke, Chimezie always eats, proving that he’s criminally underrated and incredibly talented. 

    With Chimezie, you never know what to expect. But that’s what you get from an actor whose range could either keep you at the edge of your seat or leave you in a puddle of tears. Look out for the actor in Breath of Life, Amazon Prime’s upcoming drama co-starring Genoveva Umeh and Wale Ojo. 

    Uzoamaka Aniunoh 

    Source: The Culture Mix

    You might want to remember this name because this actress will have an incredible 2023 (and a long career, to be honest). After capturing our attention with her performance in shows like MTV Shuga and Africa Magic’s Venge, Uzoamaka has grown into one of Nollywood’s biggest rising stars, with a starring role on Showmax’s Diiche, the recent Domitilla reboot, Dika Ofoma’s upcoming short, A Quiet Monday, and Mami Wata, the CJ Obasi-directed fantasy drama. 

    Outside of acting, Uzoamaka is also an acclaimed director, with her short film, Love Language, set to reach audiences in 2023. 

    Demi Banwo 

    Source: YouTube

    Demi Banwo has probably been in every Nollywood project you’ve seen. From indie projects, like Abba T Makama’s The Lost Okoroshi and Damilola Orimogunje’s For Maria, to blockbusters like Niyi Akinmolayan’s Chief Daddy and Jade Osiberu’s Gangs of Lagos (which he also executive produced), Demi’s impressive resumé is indicative of an actor willing to elevate whatever role he’s given, no matter how small. 

    Demi is set to step into the leading man ring sometime in 2023 with TOSOB (we need someone to decipher this title), the boxing drama that’ll have him facing off against Tobi Bakre. 

    RECOMMENDED: How Damilola Orimogunje and Meg Otanwa Made “For Maria”, a Nollywood Game Changer

    Teniola Aladese 

    Source: Showmax

    There’s a scene from the first season of the AMVCA award-winning show, Ricordi, where Teniola Aladese’s character, Adesoye, gets involved in a confrontation that leaves the audience heartbroken. What could’ve easily turned into a melodramatic scene becomes a gut-wrenching moment for the audience thanks to Teniola’s nuanced performance. The actress has brought this captivating presence to a wide range of film and television projects over the past few years. 

    Jammal Ibrahim 

    Source: Showmax

    Nollywood action stars don’t just exist in film; they exist on TV shows too. And Jammal Ibrahim is one actor who has the genre in his hands. The Crime and Justice: Lagos actor has proven he’s a double threat on screen, pulling physical and emotional punches in his role as Detective Danladi. With Nollywood finally taking a break from rom-coms to focus on action projects, Jammal is quickly working his way to becoming the bad-ass action star we didn’t know we needed. 

    Olarotimi Fakunle 

    Source: Amazon Prime Video

    Gangs of Lagos might’ve been the Tobi Bakre show. Still, there’s no way anyone who saw Jade Osiberu’s Amazon Prime debut didn’t turn off their screens thinking about Olarotimi Fakunle’s performance as Kazeem, AKA Eleniyan. The nuance and depth Olakunle brought to his role as Kazeem helped audiences connect to a man who just wants to be seen, despite all his unhinged acts. 

    It’s easy to play a villain audiences can hate, but over time I’ve come to understand that the best villains are the ones audiences can understand or relate to (this is why people still mess with Thanos and Namor to this day). 

    Paul Nnadiekwe

    Source: NdaniTV

    Paul Nnadiekwe’s big Nollywood moment came with in 2022 with his lead role as Ayo in the NdaniTV underrated gem, Schooled. While it looks like Nollywood hasn’t utilised his talents as they should, everything is about to change for the charismatic actor, with leading roles in Everything Scatter, Jade Osiberu’s follow-up to Gangs of Lagos, and Ahamefuna, Kayode Kasum’s upcoming Igbo apprenticeship drama. 

    Onyinye Odokoro

    Source: YouTube

    Onyinye Odokoro is more than a Nollywood star; she’s a global superstar. From her role in Dika Ofoma’s nuanced story of letting go, A Japa Tale, to Africa Magic’s Dilemma and the British Sky Original show, Unwanted, Onyinye has captured audiences across continents with her incredible talent. With 2022 already marking a pivotal moment in her career and 2023 kicking off with her lead role in the Domitilla reboot, Onyinye seems poised to rule the screen for a long time. 

    ALSO READ: 7 Brilliant Nollywood Short Films That Need to Be on Your 2023 Watchlist

  • 6 Takeaways From Yvonne Nelson’s Book, “I Am Not Yvonne Nelson” 

    The internet is on fire, and Ghanaian actress Yvonne Nelson seems to have lit the flame. The actress and producer famous for her roles in films like House of Gold, If Tomorrow Never Comes, Princess Tyra and Playboy recently released her latest project, the memoir, I Am Not Yvonne Nelson. 

    Source: Amazon

    The book, which details her professional and personal journey, has become a hot topic online, so we decided to get into some of the most interesting revelations it contains. 

    Source: I Am Not Yvonne Nelson

    Confirmation of her relationship with Sarkodie and the baby they never had

    Source: MyNewsGH

    Rumours have gone on for years about Yvonne Nelson’s alleged relationship with Ghanaian rapper Sarkodie. 

    Source: I Am Not Yvonne Nelson

    Finally confirming the gist that’s been drifting around for over a decade, Yvonne details her relationship with Sarkodie, which ended in 2010 after she had an abortion. The book goes into graphic details about the process, Sarkodie’s decision to abandon her at her lowest point and the trauma that followed her choice back then. 

    The story of her break up with Iyanya and Tonto Dikeh’s alleged role in everything 

    Source: The Daily Post Nigeria

    Remember when Iyanya sang “Yvonne Nelson, I have your medicine” in Your Waist in 2012 and ended up dating and tattooing Yvonne Nelson’s name on his body?  Good old days. 

    Almost a decade after their relationship ended in 2013, which Yvonne briefly discussed on The Juice with Toolz, the actress and producer details the events leading up to their break up. She claims that Iyanya not only cheated on her but did it with multiple women, including Tonto Dikeh. While we wait for Tonto to break the internet with a response, Iyanya has taken the book as an opportunity to promote his latest EP, ironically titled Love & Trust, which slaps, by the way. 

    She accused Nollywood of being an industry of pimps

    Source: All Africa

    Pulling her own Caroline from Real Housewives of Lagos card, Yvonne goes into alleged cases of actresses and actors being pimped out to Nigeria’s financial and political elites. While she doesn’t mention names, she goes on about her experience and how she avoided following the same pattern during her time in Nollywood.

    RECOMMENDED: 8 of the Coolest New School Artistes to Help You Get Into Ghana’s Music Scene

    Genevieve Nnaji makes an appearance 

    Source: Yvonne’s Instagram

    If, like me, you were gagging after seeing  “Genevieve Nnaji and the Rest” as the title of the book’s 14th chapter, then I’m sorry to disappoint you. It’s not like I was expecting something scandalous about my unproblematic queen, but not everyone in this book has been mentioned for good, so there were some mild heart palpitations. 

    The 14th chapter of the book talks about her time working with Ms Nnaji on the set of the 2008 Ikechukwu Onyeka-directed film, To Love And To Cherish, which also starred Chidi Mokeme. In the book, Yvonne talks about how great it was to work with Genevieve, and that was it. 

    Source: IMDB

    Yvonne Nelson would’ve been a politician if not for John Dumelo 

    Source: GH Page 

    Another takeaway from Yvonne’s memoir is her brief stint in politics and how it ended because of her loyalty to John Dumelo. 

    In the book, Yvonne talks about how she was approached in 2020 by a few politicians to run for a seat in Ghana’s parliament. The actress explains that she turned down the opportunity because her friend and fellow actor, John Dumelo, was contesting in the same elections. John, who lost the election but plans to run again in 2024, confirmed this in a now-deleted tweet. 

    Source: Twitter

    The identity crisis that followed a shocking discovery about her “dad”

    Source: MyJoyOnline

    While a lot of the drama trailing Yvonne Nelson’s memoir has focused on her romantic relationships, the book’s main focus and inspiration behind its title comes from her relationship with her parents. 

    In the book, Yvonne reveals a shocking fact about her family. Her mum had claimed a certain Oko Nelson was Yvonne’s father all her life despite the man’s counterclaim that she wasn’t his daughter. For years, Yvonne and her alleged father were estranged over the belief that he didn’t claim her. It wasn’t until Mr Nelson was fatally ill  that her mum finally revealed that he wasn’t her dad. 

    Source: Daily Advent

    Yvonne details the regret and pain that followed this revelation and how Mr Nelson’s death further compounded it. This confusion about her paternity informed the book’s title, I Am Not Yvonne Nelson, after finding out that  the man whose name she’s carried over the years wasn’t her real dad. 

    You can find Yvonne’s memoir here. 


    ALSO READ: Stanley Okorie Sang “Billionaire” But His First Salary Was a Bottle of Sprite

  • Stanley Okorie Sang “Billionaire” But His First Salary Was a Bottle of Sprite

    There’s no Nollywood without Stanley Okorie. Whether or not that name rings a bell, you can bet you’ve heard his voice before — especially if you grew up watching Old Nollywood movies. 

    With soundtrack credits on over 1,000 Nollywood films, Stanley Okorie is the singer and composer behind songs like Karishika (Queen of Demons) from the 1996 film of the same name, the popular Nkem Owoh song, I Go Chop Your Dollar (Stanley sang the song while Nkem Owoh lip synced Drag-race style) from the 2004 film, The Master, and the recently viral Billionaire (Onye Ji Cash) from 2019’s Return of the Billionaire that seems to be setting the streets of TikTok on fire. 

    @donjazzy

    Billionaire but the cash is in the ATM. #bbnaija #bbtitans #fyp #billionaire

    ♬ Billionaire (From “Return of the Billionaires”) – Stanley Okorie
    @funny_nad

    #fyp #funnyvideo #hilarious

    ♬ original sound – Funny Nad

    Catching up with the singer in May 2023, he talks about his entry into Nollywood at a time when the industry depended on soundtracks to push storytelling, the struggles of navigating Nollywood in the 1990s and early 2000s and the hilarious story of how he got paid with a bottle of Sprite for his first soundtrack. 

    Source: Provided by subject

    Let’s talk about what I like to call the Stanley Okorie Renaissance. 

    It’s been amazing and pleasantly surprising that the music I made in the 1990s and early 2000s is getting attention these many years later, on platforms I’m still learning about. It makes me feel like I didn’t waste my time back then because I made music I liked, not necessarily for anyone in particular. But there’s also a sense of feeling challenged by it all. If the work I did back then can hold its own decades later, I need to make new music that can have the same value years from now. 

    Fun fact: the people who were ten years old at the start of my career are now parents in their 30s and early 40s. How time flies. 

    I’m one of them. LOL. How did you discover that you and your music had become viral sensations? 

    Someone called me a while ago, singing Happy Mumu, and I wondered why this young guy was singing a song I released almost ten years ago. He explained that everyone online was making videos of that song and Billionaire (Onye Ji Cash), but I didn’t understand until he started sending me videos. It was like people had recorded hundreds of videos with my songs. 

    @_pinkaddict_

    Happy mumu😂😂😭 #fypシ #xyzbca #trend #blowthisup #relatable #babcockuniversity #relationship

    ♬ Happy mumu – Clemzi Clement

    I’m not on social media, so I didn’t get the gist on time. But I now realise a lot is happening online, and I need to find a way to create some presence there. 

    I’m curious about your Nollywood journey. What inspired your decision to enter the then-unconventional industry? 

    When I showed my grandmother my first car, she asked what I did for a living, and I told her I produced music. She was shocked. I remember her saying she’d never seen any newspaper job advert calling for a “Music Producer”. To them, music was a reckless career. 

    Every one who got into Nollywood at the time I did in the late 1990s did so with a lot of passion but little to no money or experience. I moved to Lagos after university to pursue a master’s in mass communication, and it was during this time I met my friend, the late Sammie Okposo. I’d hoped to become a gospel singer, but Sammie was into the soundtrack business, so I got introduced to that part of Nollywood when I lived with him for about six months. 

    Making soundtracks was purely by accident. Sammie and I learnt on the job and did it because we loved music. There was no money in it when we started. My first soundtrack was in 1995, and they paid me with a bottle of Sprite. 

    It’s a lie. What? 

    Yes o. And the guy was even saying he overpaid me. This is what it was like back then when we struggled and didn’t have a name in the industry. This guy had come to me with the script and idea, I recorded a song, and he told me he wouldn’t use it because he didn’t like it. I’d moved on until I heard my song on the film two weeks later. I called him, and he was like, “I paid you. That bottle of Sprite I bought for you when we were recording was your payment.” 

    And you took it like that? 

    I mean, from that soundtrack, I booked my next job, Compromise, in 1996, which I actually got money for. Then there was Atrocity and Karashika that same year. That first film, I can’t remember the title now, set the ball rolling, so I can’t say I regret working on it. 

    RECOMMENDED: We Ranked The Most Chaotic Songs by Nollywood Actors

    You mentioned the legendary Sammie Okposo’s role in your journey. As an artiste who’s left an indelible mark on both Nollywood and the gospel music scene, I’d like to know more about your experience with him. 

    Sammie was my guy, and I miss him very much. He taught me how to compose chords. The man had a great ear. When Sammie knew what he wanted, he was impatient in getting that sound, but when unsure, he’d take as long as he needed to figure it out. He always worked towards perfection. 

    I actually encouraged Sammie to go into gospel music. I’d just released my album, Jesus, I Love You, but I realised live performances weren’t my thing. I wanted to be behind the scenes, but Sammie was someone who could handle the fame, so we switched. You cannot do gospel music without performing and shouting “Praise the Lord” on stage. I don’t have that energy. I want to compose music in a closed space with air conditioning. LOL. 

    I was supposed to work with Sammie on an album this year [2023]. 

    I’d like to know how you guys made soundtracks back then. Did the script come first, or did you watch the movie then record a song? 

    When we first started, the producers and directors would call us, sit us down and narrate the film’s plot in two minutes. After that, they’d say, “We need music for when the girl runs mad” or “when the woman is crying after her husband dies”. The funny thing is, they’d then ask if we could get the music ready by the next day. Can you imagine? 

    We started asking for scripts down the line when our role as soundtrackers began to have weight in the industry. When the scripts were being changed on location or the film ended up taking a different direction from the scripts, we started asking for rough cuts of the scene our music would be used for. 

    The final process was we’d get the rough cut, compose our music, book a studio to record, pay instrumentalists and backup singers, and then, submit the song to the person in charge. They’d pay us our balance if they liked it, and everyone would live happily ever after. 

    Source: Provided by subject

    Soundtracks back then ended up giving away the film’s plot most of the time. Was this intentional? 

    No. We made soundtracks to heighten the emotions of a scene, not give away that scene before it happened. But the issue was editors placed these songs before the scenes they were created for, messing up the flow of the soundtrack and story. I noticed it and started asking producers to allow me to place my songs myself, but they refused to pay me for that, so I just let them do whatever they wanted. It was a dog-eat-dog industry, and I wouldn’t kill myself because of it. 

    In the 2010s era of Nollywood, films stopped focusing on narrative storytelling through music. What was it like for you as a creative who made a living making soundtracks? 

    Nigeria’s relationship with music is cyclical. The 1960s and 1970s were all about Nigerian music, with artistes like Fela and Bobby Benson. When we stepped into the 1980s and 1990s, we’d become obsessed with foreign artistes like Michael Jackson and Biggie. The wheels have turned again, and everyone is on a Tiwa Savage and Davido vibe. Music is constantly evolving. 

    There was a time when I made almost 98% of the soundtracks out of Nollywood. So I’ve actually struggled to get out of the industry. 

    You wanted to leave Nollywood? 

    Yes, several times. Working in the industry took all my time and concentration. It cost me my marriage and many other relationships. I missed important moments like my children’s birthdays and my friend’s weddings, all because I was working on one project or the other. There was always the next job. I wanted to leave, but Nollywood didn’t want to let me go. 

    How? 

    Every time I said I would retire, I’d get an offer I couldn’t resist. Producers started paying me my fee before I even submitted a song, so I’d be committed to making it. I kept saying the next one would be my last, but here we are today. 

    The power of capitalism, for real. What’s the next move now that everyone is back on the Stanley Okorie train, thanks to social media? 

    I’m working on a Best of Stanley Okorie compilation of my soundtracks, so you’ll get to listen to popular songs like Billionaire (Onye Ji Cash) and Happy Mumu, as well as songs people probably didn’t know I wrote or performed. I’ll also throw in three or four new tracks I’m working on. I’m looking to work with Flavour, Davido and Don Jazzy for the new tracks. Since I’m making new music, it might as well be big-time projects. 

    I’m also getting into filmmaking soon. After all these years working on other people’s films, it’ll be fun to make my own. 

    Have you seen some of the films coming out of Nollywood these days? 

    I’m excited to see Gangs of Lagos. I like movies that tell our stories, not those ones where Nigerians are acting white. I want to see films that are true to the authentic Nigerian experience. As long as the hunter tells the story of the hunt, it’ll never favour the dog. 

    Damn, is that a parable? You’re giving Old Nollywood energy, and I love it. 

    LOL. That saying means if we continue to allowforeigners to control our narrative, we’ll never get reflected positively. I’m a disciple of Fela; he was all about African consciousness. No matter how we try to be Western, we’ll always be Nigerian. These Nigerian stories are what I’d like to see on my screen — whether or not I’m the one behind them. 

    ALSO READ: Stella Damasus Stepped Away From Being a Household Name In Search of Something Bigger

  • Falling For the Same Girl Cost Us 10 Years of Our Friendship — Dubem and Felix
    My Bro is a biweekly Zikoko series that interrogates and celebrates male friendships of different forms.

    Dubem and Felix have been friends for over 20 years, even though they didn’t speak to each other for almost a decade. In this episode of #ZikokoMyBro, they talk about starting a rap group as teenagers, falling for the same girl in university and the tragic loss that reunited them again in 2020.

    Let’s start from the very beginning. How did you guys meet? 

    Dubem: We attended the same secondary school back in 1997. Felix was my older brother’s school son. It was a boarding school, my first time away from home, and my brother introduced us because he wanted someone to look out for me. 

    Felix: You were supposed to be my school son even though I was in JSS 2. But I knew you’d give me plenty wahala from the moment we met. 

    What were your first impressions of each other? 

    Dubem: Felix was a busybody. I come from a strict home, so being in boarding school was my first taste of freedom. I was among the most popular boys in JSS 1, skipping class and attending every social night. However, Felix was always there to tattletale on visiting days. He’d come over to my family and play the tape of all I’d been doing. I couldn’t stand him. 

    Felix: I thought he was a spoiled brat. I come from a family where we didn’t have much, so I understood responsibility early on. He was wasting his time gallivanting around instead of focusing on school. In hindsight, that freedom to be himself away from home must’ve been an enormous relief. I admit that I took my school father thing a little too seriously.

    It wasn’t until I got into SS 1 that we finally connected and became friends. 

    How did you guys connect? 

    Felix: Rap music. 

    Come again? 

    Felix: Yes, rap music o. This was the 1990s, and rap music was the biggest thing. Everyone thought they could be MCs, and I used to write bars and freestyle in private. 

    Dubem: I didn’t think he was cool until I heard him rapping DMX’s Get at Me Dog one day. I’ll never forget because DMX had just dropped Its Dark and Hell is Hot, and I was still learning his flow. This guy already knew everything word for word. I told him I was a DMX fan, and we started talking about rap. 

    Felix: I was shocked. I thought he’d be into the white pop music stuff, but this boy knew his shit when it came to rap, talking about Big Pun, Busta, Ice Cube and Dr Dre. We got so deep into the conversation that I did something I’d never done with anyone before, I shared some of my rap songs with him. 

    Dubem: I was blown away by how personal and tight they were. I gave him some of my mediocre bars, and we decided to start a rap group that day. We called ourselves Redemption Crew. 

    Like Rihanna fans say every day, “Where is the album?”

    Felix: We didn’t put one out. Now that I think about it, our name sounds like that of a hip Pentecostal church choir. But it was hot back then, sha. We really thought we’d become big-time rappers. 

    Dubem: It’s not too late. We can resign and chase our dreams. Abi, what do you think? 

    Felix: That’s a hard pass for me, please. LOL. 

    So what happened to the Redemption Crew? 

    Dubem: We both went to UNILAG, fell in love with the same girl and everything scattered. 

    Back up. It’s a lie.

    Felix: Unfortunately for all our potential fans, he’s telling the truth. We had a few popular songs in secondary school because we kept performing at social nights and parties. I eventually left for UNILAG in 2002, and Dubem came in a year later. University was different. The stakes were higher, and school was intense. Despite this, we still worked on the low and had plans to chase the rap thing once we were done. 

    Dubem: That was until I met Ebele. My first girlfriend in university and the first girl I ever loved. She was in her first year, just like me, and we had an elective course together. It was love at first sight for me, but it took a lot of convincing to get her to go out with me. We started dating, and my life was perfect. 

    Felix: I met Ebele through Dubem and didn’t think too much of her. They shared an elective, but she was in my department, so I saw her more often. We only started talking because of Dubem, and it was surface-level. However, when they started having problems, she came to me, and the conversations changed. 

    Dubem: Our problems started about a year into our relationship. I got involved with some weird guys and started struggling with school work. Instead of finding a solution, I took it out on her by being distant. I’d stay with these guys and disappear for weeks. It was my fault. I was also distant from Felix. I pushed you guys towards each other. 

    Felix: My friendship with Ebele started from our mutual complaints about Dubem. It helped that we both had someone to share the stress this man was putting us through. He eventually got his shit together, but it was too late because she was over it. I’m his friend, so I was still there. 

    Felix, how did your relationship with Ebele become romantic? 

    Felix: It started in 2005 when I was in my final year, and almost two years after they were together. Ebele and I had gotten closer, but I didn’t even know how much I liked her until she kissed me while I was tutoring her. We both felt guilty about that kiss, but our feelings had become undeniable. I couldn’t lie to myself or my friend. Dubem had to know. 

    Dubem: I knew about their friendship and thought it was cool, but kissing?  I lost my shit when he told me. He didn’t date anyone all the time he was in school, and now that he finally decided to see someone, he chose my ex? I was livid. I started replaying scenarios in my head. Had he been  playing me from the start? Did he always want my babe? 

    Felix: I explained how our feelings grew as best as I could, and just sat there and let him have a go at me. I deserved it. What I’d done was horrible, but I was tired of running away from how I felt. 

    How did you guys figure it out? 

    Dubem: I stopped talking to both of them. I couldn’t handle it, and I didn’t owe it to them to pretend that I was okay with it. I’d lost my best friend and a girl that was special to me, all at the same time. It was hard. And then I heard Felix moved abroad, which sealed it for me. We were done. RIP Redemption Crew. 

    Felix: Lagos, scratch that; Nigeria, wasn’t big enough for us after what I did. I felt so embarrassed. I’d become that guy who breaks bro code and gets with his friend’s ex. I had to move far away from those who knew us, so I pursued my master’s in America. Ebele came to join me, and we got married in 2008. 

    Dubem: I heard about their wedding from his cousin, which reopened the wound. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to be in the same room with him again. We didn’t see or talk again for 13 years until I got a call from Ebele after the lockdown in 2020. 

    What was the call about? 

    Dubem: She called to tell me that they’d lost their son in the height of the pandemic, my friend was a wreck, and they were moving back to Nigeria. I was shocked when I realised who I was speaking to. The Ebele I knew was soft-spoken, but this Ebele was direct and uncompromising. She didn’t beg me to show up for my friend; she told me to. 

    Felix: That’s Ebele for you. She’s always in control. But yes, that loss took me to a dark place. I had built a life in Texas, but I knew it was time to come back to the life I knew here. Losing my son in a place where my support system was shallow changed my perspective on coming home. I knew it was time, but I immediately started feeling anxious about Dubem, and I think my wife sensed that. 

    She eventually told me she’d spoken to him and set up a meeting for when we returned to Lagos. 

    How did this meeting go?

    Dubem: I’m not ashamed to say there was a lot of  crying. I’m a dad too, so I could connect to what they were both going through. These two people still matter to me regardless of what happened in university. Seeing Felix like that, I wanted to be there for him. 

    Felix: I was sweating a lot the day he came over to our place. Seeing him again brought back all the memories of writing lyrics in our notebooks and planning our lives together. It felt like I was in boarding school again. I didn’t know how much I’d missed him until I saw him. 

    Regardless of how I felt, I knew it was important to talk about what happened if we were going to move on from it. 

    Dubem: I think he wanted to be sure I wouldn’t randomly stab him one day . LOL. The talk was necessary sha. He apologised again and spoke for hours. But honestly, I’d moved on. I loved Ebele, but we were never meant to be, and that’s fine. I’m married to the love of my life. I’ve never been happier. 

    So how’s your relationship now? 

    Felix: We’re in a great place. We were intentional about not rushing into anything or overwhelming each other. We had the occasional family Sunday dinners and slowly graduated to hanging out alone and doing things together. I was scared we wouldn’t have anything to say to each other when we were alone, but we still had much in common. And most importantly, we still love each other. 

    Dubem: We always have something to talk about, Felix. We’re still the same guys who loved DMX in school, it’s just that you have some grey hairs, which makes you old, and you also think Pusha T is a better rapper than Kendrick Lamar. 

    Felix: But he is. 

    Dubem: I think that’s what our kids call a red flag. 

    With so much history between you two, would you change anything about your friendship? 

    Dubem: The time we spent apart. I wish we’d spent it getting to know each other better as we got older. We were apart for most of our 30s, and that’s time we’ll never get back again. 

    Felix: True. I would’ve loved to meet Dubem, the first-time dad. 

    Dubem: No, please. That was a crazy time. That girl wouldn’t stop crying and shouting everywhere we went. I always looked like a madman. 

    Here’s a link

    What’s something you’ve always wanted to tell the other person?

    Dubem: I know a part of you still carries some guilt because of what happened in school, but I want you to know that I forgive you. I meant it when I said it in 2020, and I mean it now. I’m so happy to have you back in my life. I can see us in our 80s arguing about rap music over glasses of scotch. You’re my man, and I’ll always have your back. 

    Felix: Thank you, Dubby. You’ve made moving back home such a seamless process; there’s no way it would’ve worked without you. I love you, and I’m so proud of the man you’ve become. Your authenticity has been consistent since the day we met, and it’s one of the few things I can always count on, no matter what. 

    No, I’m not crying. 

    Do you have an interesting bro story you’d like to share? Fill this form and we’ll get back to you.

  • From “Peru” to “Ku Lo Sa”: Wande Coal Walked So These 7 Artistes Could Run

    Wande Coal is an Afrobeats GOAT; no one can tell us otherwise. From his days at Mo’Hits delivering killer hooks on songs like Pere, Close to You and Booty Call to his debut album, Mushin 2 Mo’hits and now, the fantastic, Legend or No Legend, Wande Coal has remained consistent with the hits. 

    Wande Coal’s distinct sound has influenced many of the artistes we listen to today, so we’re here to give him his flowers ahead of his special performance at Trace LIVE on June 16, 2023. 

    Wizkid

    Source: GQ

    Wizkid is one of the biggest Nigerian exports since crude oil. But before becoming Big W with the Grammys and Billboard Number Ones, Wiz lived with Wande Coal while making his debut album, Super Star. From songs like Love My Baby on that album to Pressure on his latest album, More Love, Less Ego, Wizkid has shown countless times that he has a degree from the Wande Coal University of Afrobeats. 

    Fireboy DML 

    Source: Billboard

    Till date, mandem are on the street arguing about who sang the second verse on Fireboy DML’s 2021 hit, Peru. 

    The influence Wande Coal has on Fireboy DML’s music has been clear from his debut album Laughter, Tears and Goosebumps. If you think about it, their collaboration on Wande Coal’s Legend Or No Legend album was written in the stars. 

    Oxlade 

    Source: Colors Studio

    Oxlade’s Ku Lo Sa was undoubtedly one of the biggest songs of 2022. 100 million TikTok challenges later, we can’t look at green walls the same ever again. 

    One thing that stands out in Ku Lo Sa is Oxlade’s falsetto and vocal run at the end. Listen closely and tell me it doesn’t remind you of Wande Coal serving vocals while singing: “Girl, you’re so damn fine” on Kiss Your Hands from his Mushin 2 Mo’Hits album? 

    Davido

    Source: New York Times

    Davido has claimed to be many things: the best, omo baba olowo and an assurance provider. But we think it’s high time we add Wande Coal prodigy to the list. Fun fact: Wande Coal’s influence on Davido goes beyond music. In an interview with Vibe Magazine, Wande shares how Davido left school in Atlanta to look for him twice and how he’s actually the one who first called the FEM singer OBO. Mad oh!

    RECOMMENDED: Wande Coal’s “Mushin 2 Mo’Hits” Was Way Ahead of it’s Time

    Teni 

    Source: Premium Times

    Teni is one of the few female musicians in Nigeria that has found a unique niche and sound that works perfectly for her songwriting. Songs like Askamaya and Uyo Meyo are solid hits thanks to Teni’s mix of Afropop and the Juju music most millennials heard their parents listening to. While her influences include Salawa Abeni, Shina Peters and co, we can’t discount Wande Coal’s Mo’Hits days influence on her sound. 

    Peruzzi 

    Source: The Guardian 

    Peruzzi popped up on our radars with his feature on 2Face’s 2018 hit Amaka. While Peruzzi has collaborated with many  artistes over the years, including Wande Coal himself, his solo music, especially songs like D-Side and Show Your Working, have given us a glimpse into his love for Wande Coal’s music post Mo’Hits. 

    Tay Iwar 

    Source: Instagram/TayIwar

    Only a few artistes are touching the hem of  Tay Iwar’s cargo pants when it comes to vocals and songwriting in the Nigerian music industry. While many Nigerians have placed Tay in an alté box, the singer steadily delivers insane R&B vocal performances and melodies that remind us of R&B Wande Coal circa Private Trips and Again. 

    ALSO READ: The 7 Nigerian Singers Guaranteed to Give You a Hit Song in 2022

  • The Most Bad Bitch Anthems and Quotes from Amaarae’s “Fountain Baby”

    There’s no way I’m the only one who’s rinsed Amaarae’s Fountain Baby countless times since it came out. Amaarae, girl, I’m sorry if your mouth  hurts from me replaying your album; it’s just too good. 

    In just 40 minutes, Amaarae takes us on a journey of sex, partying, designer clothes, astrology, expensive cars and most importantly, what it feels like to be a bad bitch. 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Princess Going Digital

    Source: Zikoko Memes
    • “I been going out like a bad bitch” 
    • “Tryna find love, but ninjas be doing the most” 

    Bad bitches catch feelings, too. Princess Going Digital is for the bad bitches that know they’re fly but wouldn’t mind finding a lover who’s ready to match their energy. Amaarae is asking for someone to take her off the streets, and all of you are dulling? Shame. 

    Angels in Tibet 

    Source: Giphy
    • “Y’all bitches boring” 
    • “Don’t you want to taste it?”

    Where are my main character girlies? You know those who swear they’re the Beyoncé of their friend group? Yes, Angels in Tibet is for all of us. It’s not easy being the most wanted and hottest in any room we step into. Like Wande Coal once said, “Wo ko wa je bi amala ati ewedu”. 

    Reckless and Sweet 

    Source: Zikoko Memes
    • “Looking at me, you get goosebumps” 
    • “Call me when the money come come come” 

    Bad bitches don’t play with poverty, and that’s on Eucharia Anunobi’s eyebrows. Reckless and Sweet is an anthem for bad bitches who disagree with Tinubu on letting the poor breathe. They have their own funds, there’s no way you can step to them when your bank account is giving struggle energy. Run along now. 

    Co-Stars

    Source: Meme Monkey
    • “I met a girl, she a saint and a demon” 
    • “Down to earth but way too high”

    Astrology babies, get in here because Amaarae just made a new anthem for you. From sex with a Gemini feeling like a threesome (multiple personalities, sho get?) to Leos being hot but unloyal, Amaarae drags each sign by their edges, giving us a rulebook on which ones to avoid. Thanks, girl. 

    RECOMMENDED: The Zikoko Guide To Dating A Nigerian Astrology Babe

    Disguise 

    Source: Zikoko Memes
    • “I like my coffee with some head in the morning” 
    • “Fuck you and give you away” 

    Amaarae is on fire, name-dropping Mowalola, singing about pulling up to the motive in a fly Mercedes, partying hard and getting faded like it’s no man’s business. This isn’t your average bad bitch anthem. This is Gwen Stefani-level luxurious. 

    Sex, Violence, Suicide

    Source: Zikoko Memes
    • “Ruin your day and then I take a bow”
    • “Want a feeling. Something real tonight”

    What is it with bad bitches and true crime? Famous serial killers Ted Bundy and Wayne Gacy are referenced in this song that finds Amaarae down bad, asking her lover to tell her she’s the best. Once again, it’s okay to be a bad bitch and like someone. It’s the duality of bad bitchery. 

    Water from Wine 

    Source: Zikoko Memes
    • “Call me for tongue in tongue” 
    • “Shawty I can’t be caught in no love”

    Who says you can’t eat your cake and have it? Water from Wine is for the sexually liberated bad bitches (to be honest, you can’t be a bad bitch without being sexually liberated) who want to have a good time and dip. No long talk. Take off your pants; we’re here for a good time; not a long time. 

    Listen to Fountain Baby here: 

    ALSO READ: Amaarae: “I Make Music For Bad Bitches”

     

    Here’s a link

  • Bad Boy Timz Has Bad Days Too

    It’s difficult, almost impossible even, to look back at the tumultuous year that was 2020 and not acknowledge how strange it was for Nigerians and the global community at large. Riddled with fear of the unknown, and a daily surge of coronavirus cases, the world shut down. Navigating those confusing days was scary. However, for Olorunyomi Timilehin, 2020 was also the year the world got a massive introduction to his musical avatar, Bad Boy Timz. His breakout single, MJ, dropped just five days after the Nigerian government announced a nationwide lockdown, on April 4, 2020.

    “I was sad and happy at the same time,” the singer tells me at the tail end of 2022, over two years since the lockdown was lifted. “I saw my song climb the charts, but I was broke. I couldn’t perform or make money. It was a club song, but it peaked online. I wish it had dropped when we were all outside.” 

    Outside or not, MJ, Timz’s catchy tribute to the late king of pop, Michael Jackson, quickly became one of the biggest Nigerian songs of 2020, its infectious energy providing reprieve in uncertain times. The single was followed by two remixes, one with Mayorkun and the other with Teni.

    In an industry where lightning rarely strikes twice, much less thrice in a global pandemic, Timz’s tagline “Iyanu yen shock won ba kan”, which loosely translates to “The miracles will shock them”, became a reality. A star-making appearance on Olamide’s Carpe Diem standout, Loading, was soon followed by another feel-good anthem, Have Fun, and finally, the Headies’ Rookie of the Year award to close out 2020. But just when it seemed like the then-21-year-old had established himself as an act to look out for post-lockdown, he disappeared for a while. 

    Source: Courtesy of subject

    Bad Boy Timz’s introduction to music was unknowingly orchestrated by his father. Accompanying the accountant who moonlighted as a Tungba band member gave the future singer front-row seats to making and performing music. After years of covers and recording music unprofessionally in secondary school, Timz’s first brush with the spotlight happened when his freestyle to Davido’s If went viral in 2017. The freestyle caught the attention of rap icon, Olamide, who reposted the video and invited him to perform backup on Radio Lagos, off his Lagos Nawa! album that year. 

    In 2020, Olamide placed the singer front and centre in both the audio and visuals for Loading. “We recorded the song in 30 minutes,” Timz says. “I remember being in Ikorodu when he [Olamide] called me. Omo, I rushed to the island sharp-sharp, and he introduced me to P.Priime, the producer. I already had the melody in my head, so it was easy. Shoutout to Baddo. That’s my egbon right there.” 

    Loading changed Timz’s life. He admits to booking countless shows after the single was released. But things took a dramatic turn when a brewing rift between the artiste and the label he had previously signed to in 2019 forced him to take a break from releasing music after the Headies. “Winning the Headies came with mixed emotions as I’d already started having issues with my label at the time,” he confesses. “I expected MJ to win, but I also felt the heat from what was going on with my team. I couldn’t perform or release new music because I needed to leave that label. I was being acknowledged as one of the greats, but I couldn’t even enjoy the moment.” 

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    While Timz doesn’t go into details about his label drama, the whole thing played out publicly, with an arrest and lawsuit dominating headlines in the early months of 2021. By May 2021, Timz had founded his own record label, Shock Absorbers Music, with a distribution deal from Empire Label, which also handles distribution for the YBNL squad, Tyga and Snoop Dogg, allowing him to make a massive comeback with Move in October the same year.

    The highs, lows and complexities of Timz’ creative adventures converge on Igboro, the opening track of his long-awaited No Bad Boy, No Party debut album which came out in June, 2023. Giving insight into his journey from the ghetto, Bad Boy Timz reminisces about the past while acknowledging the poignant Nigerian dream of blowing regardless of where you come from. 

    The party part of the album goes into full gear after the first track and continues until the album closes with the BNXN-assisted Make Sense. With production from heavyweights like P.Priime and BeatsByTimmy, and appearances from Olamide, Zlatan and Shenseea, Timz successfully packaged a fun night out into a 30-minute LP. But as club-friendly and fun as this album sounds, there’s more to Bad Boy Timz than what the audience is getting right now, especially after 2022’s Big Money with its underlying social message. The best part? He agrees. 

    “I feel like the Nigerian audience is ready for artistes to be versatile,” he admits to me while discussing his decision to put out more experimental music. “I want them to say, ‘Ah, Bad Boy Timz, we love this lamba music, but we also love your R&B work.’ There will be reggae Bad Boy Timz, drill Bad Boy Timz and even trap Bad Boy Timz soon. I need my fans to get to the point where they love my music so much, they won’t even care what genre I’m doing.”

    Source: Courtesy of subject

    Timz’s new direction is inspired by another artiste. “I’m not saying Burna Boy is my role model,” he tells me. “But this guy has the kind of versatility that allows him to talk about social problems or heartbreak while making you dance.” He explains that while he wasn’t always bothered with messaging before, now, more than ever, there’s a need for music that connects with people’s souls instead of just helping them escape bad times. 

    As a singer whose music has become known for its resilient, positive energy, I’m curious to know if Timz is familiar with these bad times he talks about. Taking a minute to catch his breath, he reveals that, just like everyone else, he struggles with navigating life in Nigeria while dealing with the pressure of being in the spotlight. 

    “People think we’re not human beings with real emotions,” he says. “We are prone to make mistakes. I try to remember that if I don’t make myself happy, no one else will. I used to allow the craziness around me fuck me up mentally. But now, I understand that problem no dey finish. If I wait for my life to be perfect before I enjoy myself, I’ll wait till eternity.” 

    Source: Courtesy of subject

    Timz’s pursuit of happiness bled into his music first, and now, he has his sights set on new dreams — becoming a toymaker then a restaurateur. Yes, you read that right. The first is an attempt to reconnect with his childhood while growing a sustainable business that could see Nigerian toys become valuable collectables in the future. And the food part? Well, Timz is aware that no matter what, Nigerians will always need food. “Do you know how much Olaiya makes in a day?” he asks me, referencing one of Lagos’s most popular amala joints. 

    Singer, future toymaker and restaurateur, Bad Boy Timz has his hands full with present tasks and future aspirations. But in the face of everything, I want to know the ethos that drives the singer? 

    “I’m trying to make a statement,” he explains. “I want people to know I’m capable of much more than what they’ve come to expect from me. I won’t box my creativity to fit in.” 

    Listen to No Bad Boy, No Party here:

    ALSO READ: Seyi Vibez Misses the Trenches But Doesn’t Regret Leaving

  • 5 Times Rosette from “Young, Famous & African” Showed Us How to Shoot Our Shot

    It’s hard to watch the new season of Young, Famous & African and not get drawn into the will-they-won’t-they love triangle between Andile, his on-again-off-again boo, Sebabatso, and his baby mama/BFF, Rosette. 

    Rosette, Andile and Sebabatso

    Rosette shows up in season two as this sleek, sophisticated chick who’s here to start some hot drama. While Andile can’t seem to figure out if she’s really flirting with him or joking, it’s clear that Rosette wants this man back even though he’s figuring out his relationship with Sebabatso. 

    Andile and Rosette from back in the day

    Here are all the times Rosette stylishly (and sometimes, directly) shot her shot at Andile this season. 

    The time she reminded Andile that she’s a ten

    Andile pulled up in episode six, trying to smoothen things between Rosette and Sebabatso, but our girl had other plans. 

    Ghen! Ghen!

    She started the peace talks by giggling, batting her eyelashes and flirting with Andile. Who else tells their ex, “Can you see how good my makeup is? I look hot, but you don’t want me?” It might’ve sounded like a joke, but the good sis was reminding Andile she’s not just a catch but a catch that’s also available for him to snatch. Shooting shots takes finesse, and Rosette is clearly related to Pheelz because her joke was a smooth way of laying the groundwork for her arrow of hot romance. 

    The time she told Andile she’s very very single 

    Still on a mission to turn Andile’s truce meeting into a firing squad of romantic shots, Rosette quickly said, “No” when he asked if she was dating anyone. And like the expert markswoman she is, Rosette didn’t just stop there; she told him point blank that she was trying to win him back. See, once a girl clears her roster of toasters and decides to focus on you, bro, it’s about to go down. 

    Dear Andile, clean your glasses and read the signs; Rosette wants to eat you like hot agege bread. 

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    The time she was shooting shots in the middle of Luis and Swanky’s drama 

    Right in the middle of the Luis, Swanky and Zari’s eggs drama, Rosette made it her mission to fire some light shots at Andile. We can’t help but stan a focused queen who can multitask — squashing beef while making moves on her ex-man. 

    After a brief meeting to intervene between Luis and Swanky, Andile kissed Rosette’s hands goodbye. Only for her to touch her lips, saying, “Let’s kiss here”. Wahala. 

    De-Nile is a river in Egypt!!

    Andile’s house must be on denial street because how isn’t he seeing what this babe is doing? 

    The time Luis called her out for being messy, but she responded with more shots 

    Andile was still unsure whether or not Rosette was serious when Luis called her out that he knew what she was doing.

    Pew! Pew! Pew!

    To shoot effective shots, you need to be shameless, and our queen owns everything with her chest, telling everyone at the table she’s just trying to get back into Andile’s heart. Closed mouths don’t get fed, so if there’s one thing Rosette will do, it’s open her mouth and say what she wants with her full chest. 

    The time she asked him to get back together and forget everyone else

    We’ve saved the best for last. 

    Bombastic side eye! Criminal-offensive side eye!

    At the end of the drama-filled season, Andile visited Rosette in episode eight to ask how she’d feel if he got back together with Sebabatso. Just when it seemed like all hope was lost for our girl and she’d accepted defeat, she struck with another shot, asking Andile to get back with her to end all the drama between her and Sebabatso. Sis, how will getting back with you end the drama? 

    WAHALA

    We have to give it to Rosette for being resilient and trying her luck even in the face of defeat. 

    While we wait for Netflix to confirm if we’re getting a new season of Young, Famous & African, we’ll be following all the hot drama on Andile, Rosette and Sebabatso’s social media pages. We’re always here for hot drama.

    ALSO READ: I Reviewed the Wigs in “Young, Famous & African” So You Don’t Have To

  • The Best Nigerian Songs to Listen to When That Credit Alert Hits

    If there’s one thing that makes Nigerians (well, anybody) happy, it’s salary week. 

    If you know you’re getting ready to cash out over the next few days, this playlist is for you. Remember to enjoy this moment because SAPA is always around the corner, waiting to take your last card. 

    Chop My Money — P-Square

    This is a great song to sing in the club when that salary hits. But also note that this is an invitation, so don’t be mad if someone does indeed chop your money in the end. 

    2 Sugar — Wizkid and Ayra Starr 

    2 Sugar off Wizkid’s More Love, Less Ego might hint at protecting your mental health. But the way Ayra sings, “Sho ri nonsense, ma gbe sun mo mi” makes it the perfect song to dedicate to all those people who wait until salary week to ask if they can borrow small cash for one problem or the other. Ogbeni, “I dey fight my own demons, don’t you see?” 

    Peace Be Unto You (PBUY) — Asake 

    Asake is the current, always-dropping music, reigning king of party music in Nigeria. Period. But if there’s one of his many hit songs that I’d gladly put on a salary week playlist, it’s Peace Be Unto You (PBUY). On this song, Asake recognises that hard work brings money into your account, so my dear, spend that cash because you earned it. However, the best part is when he sings, “Before them use me, I go use myself”, meaning spend your money before unnecessary wahala lands on your doorstep to snatch it from you. 

    Billionaire — Stanley Okorie

    It doesn’t matter whether your salary is in billions, millions, hundreds of thousands or just small thousands; you’ll relate to Stanley Okorie’s Billionaire on salary day. But please and please, take that “no mercy for money” part with a pinch of salt. After all, the song’s title is still “Billionaire”, not ₦10k. 

    Unavailable — Davido and Musa Keys 

    This special number is dedicated to bills and people who like to bill. Yes, it’s salary week, but like Davido said, “If it’s not owo, I can’t talk”. So, forget I exist unless you plan on giving me more money. We’ll all be fine last last. 

    Holiday — Rema

    It’s good to celebrate salary week, but it’s also good to remember all the times when bad belle people cast you away. Nothing screams “New money” like a good grass-to-grace story. 

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    Who’s Your Guy? — Spyro 

    Who’s the big boss in the street right now? Yes, it’s you, bitch. Now that salary has come, best believe you’re about to be everybody’s guy. Just remember to divide the bill by everybody on the table because the money still has to last you until next month. 

    Asiwaju — Ruger 

    This song might be tied to someone who allegedly sold drugs — I said, “allegedly” here, and I didn’t mention names. But it doesn’t mean you can’t use it to celebrate your win as a fucking baller who’s ahead of people whose salary doesn’t come until the first week of a new month. 

    Who Born the Maga — Wande Coal and K-Switch 

    Having natural confidence is sweet. But you know what’s sweeter? Having natural confidence that’s also backed by funds. No one can tell you nonsense during salary week. No, like, who actually born the maga? Having money is the real BDE, trust me. 

    Bandana — Fireboy DML and Asake

    This song works two ways. One, it’s a reminder to everyone that you’ve arrived now that the bag has been secured. But it could also serve as a warning from SAPA that you’ll never see him coming. So, tap into whichever anointing and spirit you feel when singing Asake’s chorus. 

    Party No Dey Stop — Adekunle Gold and Zinoleesky 

    Yes, this is an Adekunle Gold banger, but it’s also the motto for the first two weekends after salary drops. Why are you at home on a Friday night with all that money in your account? Better listen to AG and Zino and go pop some bottles — champagne or beer, a bottle is a bottle. 

    Loaded — Tiwa Savage and Asake 

    This song doesn’t need too much serenre because you get the gist when Asake starts singing, “I’m loaded”. It’s either you’re loaded, or you’re not. Loaded people, please, come to the front. The rest of you, go and listen to Tiwa’s Stamina until your money drops because that’s what you’ll need to withstand the SAPA. 

    Finesse — Pheelz and BNXN 

    No, but whose business is it that you’re broke? Sure, you’ll have to inconvenience your friends and family by borrowing money and begging for food later, but for now, enjoy Folake for the night. 

    Suffer Suffer — Lady Donli 

    Raise your hands if you didn’t come to this life to suffer. This Lady Donli anthem off her 2019 album, Enjoy Your Life, is a perfect reminder that we were put on earth to have a good time (another Lady Donli song). Suffering is not your portion, so wipe away that poverty mentality and enjoy some of the money you busted your butt making over the last month. 

    Godwin — Korede Bello 

    What God cannot do does not exist. It’s not easy being a salary earner. 

    ALSO READ: We Don’t Rate You If You’re Not Listening to These 10 Female Artists

    Listen to our salary playlist here:

  • Which of “Fast and Furious” Crazy Stunts Can You Try in Nigeria?

    Vin Diesel, the evil you have done with Fast and Furious is enough. Please, rest. 

    Source: Giphy

    You have to be living under a rock if you  haven’t heard about Fast and Furious at this point. Returning for its tenth installment, the car racing film turned action/heist/thriller franchise has become famous for two things: having Vin Diesel say ”family” at least 1000 times per film and its impossible stunt scenes that defy physics and every other scientific law. 

    Source: Giphy

    With each installment of the franchise crazier than the last, we’re looking at some of the most unhinged and unrealistic stunts Dom (Vin Diesel) and his gang have pulled over the years and whether or not they’d work in Nigeria. 

    Source: Giphy

    12. Driving a car into a yacht (2 Fast 2 Furious, 2003) 

    Looking at the ridiculous accidents in Abuja with cars ending up on statues, I think crashing a car into a yacht is child’s play. This is literally the easiest stunt they’ve pulled in the Fast and Furious franchise. All you need to do is find a yacht, not a flying boat. 

    11. Dom destroys the street with his feet (Furious 7, 2015)

    Considering all the roads that spoil every week and the buildings that collapse every three market days, Dom causing an earthquake  with his feet is very possible. You might have to stomp more than once, but remain resilient and watch the ground open and swallow your enemies. 

    10. Stretching Dom’s car with ropes (The Fate of the Furious, 2017) 

    Another easy stunt. It doesn’t take much to use ropes to drag someone’s car. The somersaulting is another story sha. But the rope thing? Very possible. 

    9. The final race on a train track (The Fast and the Furious, 2001) 

    This stunt is only dangerous when trains actually work. Most of the government trains in Nigeria are part-time workers doing remote work, so they’re on like twice a month. Just ensure you’re not pulling a Vin Diesel on the day they have trips to make. If not, you’re on your own. 

    8. Hobbs holding a helicopter with his bare hands (Hobbs and Shaw, 2018)

    I know it looks impossible, but dear, have you seen the men and women at iFitness or Fitness Central? Those people are obviously on crack based on the weights they lift daily. How many kilograms does a helicopter weigh? I’m sure it’s lightweight for my Nigerian gym bros. 

    7. Dropping cars from planes (Furious 7, 2015 and Fast X, 2023) 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDTO2TDTz5E

    Is it the same Nigeria where you have to pay thousands for extra luggage? Imagine paying to fly a car, only to tell the pilot to drop the car mid-flight with you in it. After asking if their village people sent you to them, there’s a high chance the pilot will swear for you and all your family members. 

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    6. Remote controlling all the cars on the street (Furious 7, 2015) 

    Charlize Theron’s Cypher may have created the coolest device to control cars within a three mile radius. But I can bet it won’t work in Nigeria. Imagine trying to control all the cars on the third mainland bridge, and PHCN takes power? What will happen while you wait for them to turn on the gen? The wahala is not worth it. 

    5. Dragging a bank vault across the street (Fast Five, 2011) 

    This stunt is only possible in places with free roads, like Uyo or Kaduna. These days, even Abuja has traffic. How do you expect to speed away with a vault when facing bumper-to-bumper traffic almost every day? 

    4. Dom flying his cars between two skyscrapers (Furious 7, 2015) 

    This stunt “worked” because it was Dubai, and almost every building there is a skyscraper, so it was easy for Dom and his people to drive from one to the other. The distance wasn’t a lot. Skyscrapers are scarce in Nigeria, boo. You can fly out of a skyscraper and crash into a bungalow here. Please do this at your own risk because while cars might fly in Dubai, they obey the laws of gravity here. 

    3. The gang battling a tank and Dom catching Letty like Superman (Fast and Furious 6, 2013) 

    No, in what world is this even possible? I need Vin Diesel and his people to be for real. Unless your middle name is Kal-El or Thor, I’ll advise you to steer clear of this unhinged jump. Once again, who are we deceiving here, Vinny boy? 

    2. Driving and fighting beside a plane that’s on fire (Fast and Furious 6, 2013) 

    This stunt is only possible in the Fast and Furious multiverse of craze. There’s no way you believe this is actually possible. 

    1. Driving into space. Yes, space (Fast 9, 2021) 

    Getting to drive your car from one state to another in Nigeria is a journey that requires the blood of Jesus and a couple of other spiritual reinforcements. So can you now imagine driving a car into space from Nigeria? Let’s forget that it’s not possible, even in America. But in Nigeria? Chelsea, come on now? Maybe you can try again in 2030, the year Nigeria has projected it’ll send someone into space. 

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  • Action Star, Lover Boy and Legend: A Breakdown of Saint Obi’s Most Iconic Roles

    Saint Obi was as iconic as they come. The late actor was the blueprint for most of the leading men Nollywood has today. With a filmography that covers a wide range of characters and films ranging from high-octane action projects to tear-jerking romance dramas; no one did it like him, and no one is now. 

    While Saint Obi might be gone, his work’s impact on the Nigerian entertainment scene will continue to live on. Here are some of the actor’s most iconic roles. 

    State of Emergency 

    James Bond, Jason Bourne and Jack Reacher have nothing on Saint Obi’s Detective Smith in State of Emergency. He  was in his action star bag when this Teco Benson film was released in 2000. The action thriller follows Detective Smith on a mission to rescue politicians held hostage by his now evil colleague Charles (JT Tom West) at the National Arts Theatre. Yes, you read that right. Of all places for the president to hold a conference, the movie expected us to believe he chose the National Arts Theatre. 

    State of Emergency is complete with a weird CGI shootout, a bomb scare in a hospital and people getting shot in the head. It looks like camp now, but this film will always be iconic to us 1990 kids. 

    Festival of Fire 

    Festival of Fire was peak Old Nollywood with Saint Obi and Regina Askia playing twins who get separated at birth. Regina becomes a reverend sister; passionate about spreading the gospel, while Saint Obi chooses to become a hot babalawo who supports the killing of twins and other ritualistic extracurricular activities. 

    After a couple of back and forth about whose God is right, Saint Obi eventually realises that Regina is his twin sister after noticing a birthmark similar to his on her chest (Nollywood and birthmarks sha). Remorseful, he helps her escape when the village tries to unalive her, offering himself as the village’s sacrificial goat instead. 

    Take Me to Mama 

    This list will be incomplete without Saint Obi’s directorial debut, Take Me to Mama. The film finds Obi as director and lead character, playing a man who tries to escape a life of crime only to discover that it might be too late. Take Me to Mama was also the first Nollywood film I ever saw successfully pull off a non-cringey CGI car explosion. 

    Final Whistle 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kInKuToTssI&t=1421s

    Are you really an iconic Nollywood actor if you haven’t played the role of a man who defies his parents for love? In Final Whistle, Saint Obi gives us his version of Romeo and Juliet, playing Richard, an IJGB who falls in love with one of his mother’s maids. In classic Nollywood rich mummy fashion, Mummy Richard (Bukky Ajayi) doesn’t stand for this poverty romance. But how can their love fail when they both take time to sing to each other by the beach like they’re in a Bollywood musical? 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwMzpvfMKf0&t=113s

    Love conquers all when you know how to lip sync for your life. 

    Sakobi the Snake Girl 

    In Sakobi the Snake Girl, Saint Obi plays Frank, a man who gets a short lifespan (but with plenty of money) for using his child for money rituals. He seems comfortable with his short life until he meets Sakobi (Susan Patrick), a femme fatal who fucks his life all the way up. Tony Umez makes an appearance in this film because, for some weird reason, I guess you can’t make a film about sacrificing children without him popping up. 

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    Wanted Alive 

    Look at that iconic image and tell me you don’t feel the nostalgia? Directed by Chico Ejiro, Wanted Alive is a 2001 film that follows Saint Obi as the leader of an infamous armed robbery gang; who’s trying to turn his life around and away from crime. The film also features Old Nollywood bad guys like Hanks Anuku, Emeka Enyiocha and Jerry Amilo. 

    Deadly Proposal

    Deadly Proposal is the perfect entry into the “men are scum” genre of old Nollywood movies. Co-starring Pete Edochie, Dolly Unachukwu and Alex Lopez (I’ve always wondered if this was her real name), Saint Obi plays Steven, a guy who makes his girlfriend (Obot Etuk) promise to wait for him, only to return from “obodoyinbo” with an Americana fiance. For context, this babe rejected other men, and stayed cooking and cleaning for his parents while he was away. 

    This film proves that the moment you say “My man will never” is the exact moment that man will start to never all the nevers he never nevered before. Word. 

    Can you handle the hotness of Zikoko’s women’s only party of the year, HERtitude? Click here to buy your ticket and find out.

    More than a Woman

    Outside of Stephanie Okereke’s love for leather and power bikes, this film has little to no similarities with the Aaliyah song and video of the same title. In More Than a Woman, Stephanie Okereke plays a beautiful young thief named Tricia, while Saint Obi plays the hot Inspector Daniel on a mission to stop her. And yes, they fall in love because small romance here and there is more important than crime fighting. 

    When the Going Gets Tough

    I love how Old Nollywood was very pro “Love is more important than the bag” because, sis, it doesn’t fly in this day and age where a dollar is almost N1k. In When the Going Gets Tough, Saint Obi plays Dan, a millionaire who pretends to be poor to weed out fake friends and find true love. Dakore Egbuson-Akande plays the girl who dips as soon as the going actually got tough, while Chiege Alisigwe plays the girl attracted to poverty. The whole pretending to be a poor man thing is a bit dramatic sha. 

    ALSO READ: The Rock and Vin Diesel Have Nothing on These Old Nollywood Action Stars

  • AMVCA 2023: The Big Winners and the People Who Should’ve Won 

    The 2023 Africa Magic Viewers Choice Award (AMVCA) might’ve come and gone, but everyone is still talking about the fashion moments and awards that went to the wrong “African filmmakers”. 

    It’s important to note that the award is mostly fan-voted, so in the end, it’s a popularity contest. If people don’t vote for their fave, there’s a high chance they won’t win. That said, as someone who watched almost 80% of the films nominated and awarded, here’s my hot take. 

    Best Actress in a Drama (Movie/TV Series) 

    Source: Netflix

    Who Won: Osas Ighodaro for Man of God

    Who Should’ve Won: Bimbo Ademoye for Anikulapo or Ini Edo for Shanty Town 

    No award shocked the audience more than Osas Ighodaro’s Best Actress in a Drama win for Man of God. The actress picked up her second consecutive win in this category after winning in 2022 for Rattlesnake. While Osas has established herself as a movie star, this Best Actress win is a reach. Bimbo Ademoye’s arch as Queen Arolake in Anikulapo had more meat. I mean, this look alone has become an iconic meme:

    Source: Netflix

    Then there’s Ini Edo’s long-awaited return to form in Shanty Town, taking up dual roles and giving us one of her best performances in decades. 

    Source: Netflix

    Shanty Town and Anikulapo could be better projects, but these women’s performances made them watchable. I can’t say the same for Osas Ighodaro, or Man of God, which happens to be one of the worst movies Netflix has ever released — and Chief Daddy 2 exists. 

    Best Actor in a Drama (Movie/TV Series) 

    Source: Prime Video 

    Who Won: Tobi Bakre for Brotherhood 

    Who Should’ve Won: Blossom Chukwujekwu for The Trade or Chidi Mokeme for Shanty Town 

    Tobi Bakre’s performance in Brotherhood is a masterclass in carrying a film on your back and making it your own. Breaking out of the “They just cast BBNaija housemates for clout” mould, Tobi proved to audiences that he’s not just a bankable name slapped across a movie for marketing. Knowing all this, I was actually stressed because I knew two other actors who deserved the award for giving the best performances Nollywood has seen in a long time. 

    Source: Netflix

    No one can talk about TV shows this year without mentioning Chidi Mokeme’s terrifying turn as Scar in Shanty Town. Reminding us that no one does it better than the foundational members of Nollywood, Chidi completely morphed into his character, commanding every scene and frame he appeared in. Like Sola Sobowale’s Eniola Badmus, he didn’t just make us hate the villain he created; he made us curious to know more and understand how someone could get to that point of no return. Scar will go down in history as one of Nollywood’s most iconic villains. 

    Source: Prime Video 

    Like Chidi Mokeme, Blossom Chukwujekwu completely shocked audiences with his performance in Jade Osiberu’s The Trade. Another well-crafted villain, Blossom leaves everything on the screen, scaring and making us laugh at the same time. While the heavy Igbo accent might’ve sounded forced from some of his co-stars, with Blossom it sounded natural, like it’s the only way he’s spoken since birth. As an actor who’d shown great potential but was never offered a role he could sink his teeth into, this felt like Blossom’s moment. 

    Source: Netflix 

    By the way, why wasn’t Kunle Remi on the nomination list? 

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    Best Online Social Content Creator 

    Source: Africa Magic

    Who Won: Elozonam and KieKie for Back From the Future 

    Who Should’ve Won: Bimbo Ademoye for Iya Barakat Teropi Secxxion 

    In a different world, Bimbo Ademoye should’ve been cradling multiple AMVCA statues at Saturday’s ceremony. Her online alter ego, Iya Barakat, was first introduced to audiences as one of the many characters created to market her many endorsements. However, Iya Barakat quickly won over an audience of loyal followers with each video, making way for the smash hit, Iya Barakat Teropi Secxxion. The series is hilarious AF, with everyone from Falz to Jemima Osunde making cameos. 

    Source: YouTube

    Although Elozonam created an exciting project with Back from the Future, neither the show nor the episode with KieKie carries the same level of humour or genuine heart as Iya Barakat Teropi Secxxion. Iya Barakat is the Ted Lasso to Bimbo Ademoye’s Jason Sudeikis, and it totally deserved this award. 

    Best Costume Designer 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Who Won: Adeola Art Alade for The Real Housewives of Lagos Reunion 

    Who Should’ve Won: Toyin Ogundeji for Anikulapo 

    As a Real Housewives of Lagos die-hard stan, it’s killing me to say this, but “What?!” How did RHOL win over Anikulapo in the costume department? I know my girls served during that reunion, but it pales in comparison to the research and intentionality behind the looks in Anikulapo. The intricate detailing of the aso-ofis had me gagging. Anikulapo served cunt in iro and bubas. 

    Best Writer 

    Source: Netflix

    Who Won: Sola Dada for Anikulapo 

    Who Should’ve Won: Sodi Kurubo, Stephanie Dadet and Victor Aghahowa – Diiche (Episode 5)

    Kunle Afolayan’s Anikulapo was a major moment for Nollywood. The sheer ambition and scale of the epic made it a subject of conversation months after it was released. However, the fifth episode of Diiche is by far one of the greatest episodes of Nigerian TV ever. Like, no contest. 

    Source: Showmax

    Providing an interesting backstory that solves a puzzle even the audience wasn’t fully aware of, the Ifeoma Chukwuogo-directed episode takes a simple story that’s been told over and over again in Nollywood, and makes it more impactful for a new generation. If for no other reason, Diiche should’ve taken the award for being a more cohesive story than Anikulapo. 

    Best Director 

    Source: Prime Video 

    Who Won: Loukman Ali for Brotherhood

    Who Should’ve Won: Jade Osiberu for The Trade 

    Source: Prime Video

    Jay-Z once said, “Nobody wins when the family feuds,” and honestly, I get it. This category was hard for me as a fan of both movies and their directors. However, remove the showy stunts, explosions and shootouts on bridges from Brotherhood, and we’ll all agree The Trade had more meat. The pacing, Jade Osiberu’s script, Blossom Chukwujekwu’s acting and the project’s ability to make us root for a serial kidnapper/killer? Chelsea, come on now. The Trade deserved more love at the AMVCAs, and Jade deserved a Best Director trophy, especially considering that this film was shot back in 2019. 

    ALSO READ: How to Make a Badass Nollywood Action Film, According to “Brotherhood” Scriptwriter, Abdul Tijani-Ahmed

  • We Don’t Have to Talk All the Time for Our Friendship to be Valid — Michael and Faith

    My Bro is a biweekly Zikoko series that interrogates and celebrates male friendships of different forms.

    Michael and Faith’s friendship started with a not-so-random DM on Facebook in 2016. With over five years in this friendship thing, they talk to #ZikokoMyBro about surviving health challenges together, maintaining transparency when helping each other financially, and how they deal with Michael’s tendency to disappear without telling his friend. 

    Let’s start from the very beginning. How did you guys meet? 

    Michael: I met Faith on Facebook in 2016 when the app was still popping. We both wrote poems and were part of the same writing community. Our interactions were limited to the comment section until Faith DM’ed me one day. 

    Faith: Ah, I remember. I’d been reading your work and sent a DM saying, “Baba, you dey write gan.” 

    Michael: I’m reading that message now and cringing because I replied, “Good evening, sir.” You asked me how to publish your poem somewhere, and I kept adding “sir” to all my messages. I don’t even know why I was being so extra. 

    What was your first impression of the other person? 

    Faith: I thought he was very intelligent. I’d read this thought-provoking essay he wrote about LAUTECH being on strike and how no one was doing anything about it. He had his way with words that allowed him to express even the most complex thoughts with a sense of clarity. I also liked that one minute, he could be writing something like that, and the next, he’s writing something about all power belongs to your bumbum with the same passion. 

    Michael: What do you mean by that? I thought you were noisy. You were everywhere, and your comments were on everybody’s posts. Let’s not even get into your Facebook name; “Emmanuel GodHonoursMe Faith”. Bro, are you the only one God is honouring? LOL. 

    Another thing that stuck out to me was the way you used words. You used to blow big grammar like Wole Soyinka in the most random conversations. I thought that was really cool. 

    When did your relationship move from admiring each other’s writing to an actual friendship? 

    Michael: We met for the first time and started getting close when I got admission to his university. Faith was in his second year, and I was in my first. We attended the same campus fellowship, and over time I started hanging out in his room since I had 20 roommates. Plus, he used to cook a lot. We became close during the period I was eating free food and hanging out in his room. 

    So basically, you were like an Abuja man hanging out for food and shelter? 

    Michael: You know what? That’s understandable. I started hanging out with him for basic human needs. LOL 

    Faith: No, let me defend you small. I made food for almost everyone because I was a fellowship big bro. Remember you used to call me “Sir”? 

    My turning point in our relationship was when I fell sick that day in school. I never fall sick, but my village people caught me this time, and I broke down. Michael was the first person on my mind to call. He came over, took me to the health centre and stayed with me through everything. He also checked up on me and cooked during that whole period. He took care of me. That ordeal unlocked something for me, and I knew this guy had become my friend. 

    Michael: So I’ve saved you from untimely death? I’ve tried for you, sha. 

    Michael, outside of food, can you remember when Faith really came through for you? 

    Michael: When I first moved to Lagos after university, me and being broke were like five and six. Faith was more shocked when I didn’t come to borrow money than when I showed up to beg. But the money wasn’t really the moment for me. My favourite come-through moment was when I fell sick. 

    You too? 

    Michael: Yes, o! In 2021 I was really sick and needed to undergo a severe procedure. It was a terrifying moment in my life when I was like, “Maybe I’ll see God in a few seconds”, and Faith was right there by my side. I fall sick often, so I’m used to hospitals. On the other hand, Faith rarely falls sick, so hospitals make him very uncomfortable. He didn’t want to be in a hospital but was there for me. I was sick, but I was pitying him. Lol

    Faith: I followed you to the hospital because I know you, and you have a habit of just putting your phone on do not disturb while everyone else is worried about you. I’m always concerned about you, so I felt it’d be better to go with you and be updated in real-time. Nothing prepared me for all the medical equipment and terms I heard during that period sha. Plus, I was the only one your mum could reach. It was worth it when you got better. 

    Regarding coming through for me, I’m grateful to Michael for always telling me the truth. I’ve gotten to a point where I feel like I’m doing well and I’m one of the baddest when it comes to what I do, so it’s important to have someone who can pull me aside and keep me in check. Michael will explain a situation to me, and I’ll realise I was the one that messed up. He’ll still call me out today even if I sent him money yesterday.

    I also feel comfortable talking to Michael about everything. Most people don’t have that in their friendship. 

    Money has come up a couple of times now, and how as to how it might affect your friendship? 

    Michael: First of all, Faith has a lot more money than me, so money can’t even be a problem for us. LOL. But seriously, it all boils down to transparency and being honest with one another. Faith knows how much I make, and I know how much he makes. I can’t ask him for anything that’ll inconvenience him, and he also knows when I’ll be able to pay back based on how much I make. We’ve refused to allow money to become a big deal in our friendship. 

    Faith: The transparency part is important. If Michael asks me for money twice a month, I’ll know there’s a serious problem and follow up before he tells me, “Oh, he had to send money home” or something like that. But another thing is knowing our financial capacities because we only make big financial decisions with the other person knowing. Michael keeps me in check when it comes to spending. This guy once spent N5k from Monday to Friday. I don’t know how he did it. 

    Michael: I’m not even trying to be frugal. I don’t know what I’m spending money on if I have food and water at home. You’re always going out, while I’m usually in my house, so it makes sense that you spend more money than me. 

    Outside of knowing each other’s finances down to the last penny, what’s another unconventional part of your friendship? 

    Faith: We’re very open about how much we love each other and unafraid to say it anywhere from the middle of Ikeja City Mall (ICM) to bus parks and emails. 

    Michael: Not you listing some of the places I’ve told you “I love you.” 

    Faith: The one at ICM is funny because you said it loudly in a restaurant after I bought you rice. Everyone was staring at us. It was embarrassing but beautiful. 

    Another unconventional thing about our friendship is that we write to each other a lot. Not texting, but writing via email to catch up and share how much we mean to each other. This guy can ghost everyone for a long time, but every time I write, he responds. 

    Ghosting in friendship again? Michael, please explain

    Michael: I’ve ruined a lot of potential friendships because I suck at responding to messages and social media. Instant messaging doesn’t make sense because I can’t keep up with talking to multiple people at once about different things. Many people don’t get it and assume I just don’t rate them. That whole thing on Twitter about “People make time for people they care about”. It’s not about time; messaging is just not my thing. 

    What I love about my relationship with Faith is that he gets it. We don’t always text, but we talk via long emails. I can send a mail on Monday and not get a response until the following Monday, but that’s totally fine. I know he’s still there for me. Constantly talking doesn’t validate our friendship. 

    Faith, how did you get comfortable with this communication style since it’s not the most conventional in friendships? 

    Faith: It was a bit challenging initially, but I had to learn that not everyone will be like me. Not everyone has the energy to fill up a room or talk on the phone for 30 minutes straight. It doesn’t make them any less amazing. 

    I know Michael trusts and feels safe with me, so he’ll come around on his own terms. Just because he’s nowhere to be found doesn’t mean he’s not thinking of me. He’s disappeared so many times only to send a bottle of wine or the hardcover of a book he thinks I’d like. People are different. 

    Michael: I’m a great friend if you manage your communication expectations. Faith gets it, and that’s why we work well.

    Faith: We’re on the same wavelength. He can disappear today, but when he returns, he can take up  six hours of my time. 

    Six hours, doing what? 

    Faith: We’ve watched a TV show virtually before, episode by episode. We also read together virtually at the same time. I’ll ask what page he’s on, and we’ll read together. If we poured this energy into dating, we wouldn’t be single. LOL. 

    Would you consider changing something about your friendship or the other person? 

    Michael: I wish we saw each other more, but that’s on me. Faith is always available while I’m usually in my house, hiding or working. Then, for Faith, I’d like you to please calm down more often because it’s not everything or everyone that deserves the amount of emotional strength you put into them. Don’t you like peace, joy and happiness? These are things you could imbibe. Your gragra is too much. 

    Faith: I totally agree with the second one. My emotions are always all over the place. For our friendship, I’d like us to have more money so Michael can spoil me with trips to Abuja— 

    Michael: Abuja? That’s your holiday destination? I need to unfriend you after this. 

    Faith: Oya, let’s do Venice or Bali. Regarding what I’d like to change about you, I’ll say it’s the ghosting thing, but not for me, for our other friends. I’m already used to you disappearing, but most of our mutual friends don’t get it, so they become worried, and I have to reassure them that you’re good. Drop a message for them that says, “Hi guys. I’ll be disappearing for three days. Cheers.” 

    Michael: I don’t plan it. But I’m trying to be better. 

    Do you have an interesting bro story you’d like to share? Fill this form and we’ll get back to you.

    What’s something you’ve always wanted to tell the other person? 

    Michael: I want us to write more. Our emails are some of my most treasured possessions in the world. I love how we write each other those long emails, and I want more of that. 

    Faith: I’m so proud of how you’ve hacked capitalism. You used to hate it, but now you’re killing it. I love seeing that growth. I’m so so proud of you. 

    Michael: That’s so sweet. Look at you being a sweet person. 

  • They Came, They Saw, They Slayed: The 20 Best AMVCA Looks of All Time

    Nothing says glitz and glamour (with a sprinkle of chaos) like the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards (AMVCA) red carpet. 

    With the 2023 edition set to take place on May 20, we look back at some of the fashion moments that’ve taken our breath away since the award show first premiered in March 2013.

    Genevieve Nnaji (2013)

    This Bridget Awosika piece caused quite a scandal when Genevieve wore it to the maiden edition of the AMVCAs back in 2013. But making a massive statement on the red carpet that night, your favourite actress’s favourite actress looked every bit like the movie star she is. This was a major fashion moment in Nollywood at the time. 

    Somkele Iyamah (2017)

    Somkele Iyamah was and still is a fashion girly. No one wears her sister, Andrea Iyamah’s eponymous line like Somkele does. The colour, the cut, her hair, everything works out with this look. Somkele not only won the trailblazer award that night, but she also won on the red carpet.

    Denola Grey (2022)

    Denola Grey walked away as the best-dressed male star in 2022 and absolutely deserved it.

    Do you know who also deserved an award for serving cunt in a way that pleases the Lord, while wearing a suit that looks like it’s falling apart? 

    Yes, Denola again, for this look from 2020. 

    Nana Akua Addo (2020)

    We can’t talk about iconic AMVCA fashion moments without talking about Nana Akua Addo in Gaurav Gupta back in 2020. We can argue about Ghanaian and Nigerian jollof from now till tomorrow, but no one can argue about this look. Nana represented the Gold Coast and left everyone gagging. 

    Erica Nlewedim (2022)

    How many yards did Erica’s designer use to make this dress? This is Erica’s best AMVCA look yet, and one of our favourite AMVCA looks of all time. 

    Toni Tones (2018)

    Toni has always been a badass, and this dramatic, high-slit take on a fairytale ball gown is exactly what we’d expect a badass to wear to the AMVCAs. 

    Nancy Isime (2022)

    As the kids on Twitter say, this look is “urethral”. Nancy Isime served so hard at the AMVCA in 2022, we didn’t even have to eat physical food to be satisfied. 

    Ebuka Obi-Uchendu (2018)

    Whether he’s trying to upstage a groom in a burgundy agbada or cosplaying as Angel Gabriel in all white, Ebuka Obi-Uchendu will always be a man after our hearts. This look might look simple and boring, but not every man can pull off an all-white suit with the level of finesse Ebuka displayed in 2018.

    Adesua Etomi (2022)

    It’s giving a phoenix rising from the ashes. It’s giving Katniss Everdeen promo tour. It’s giving fashion it-girl. Adesua Etomi, the woman that you are? 

    Eku Edewor (2013)

    The first edition had more misses than hits on the red carpet. However, one star has owned it since day one. Eku Edewor is on every fashion girl’s mood board because she understands timeless fashion. I mean, this Clan dress and bob from 2013 looks like it was worn yesterday.

    ALSO READ: What Were They Thinking? We Rank the Most Chaotic AMVCA Looks

    Bonang Matheba (2022)

    Bonang, ma pi now. This look was simply divine, and we’re blessed to have witnessed it. 

    Sola Sobowale (2020)

    I hope we all know purple is the colour of royalty. A fitting look for the king of boys. 

    Tope Tedela (2022)

    A Nigerian man who’s not a designer or influencer taking fashion risks? Inject it, please. The shade of green and fabric choice all work well to earn the actor a spot on this list of our all-time faves. 

    Can you handle the hotness of Zikoko’s women’s only party of the year, HERtitude?

    Click here to buy your ticket and find out.

    Osas Ighodaro (2022)

    Look at the material. How can you not want to crown Osas best in fashion? This is a look that had everyone shook in 2022.

    Rita Dominic (2018)

    She is an icon. She is a legend. And she’ll always be the moment with this royal blue look. What would the AMVCA red carpet be without Rita Dominic? Boring. 

    Idia Aisien (2020)

    Something about this outfit on Idia Aisien reminds us of Kim Kardashian, and that’s a good thing in our book. Face is a ten. Body is a ten. Outfit is a ten. What else do you want? Like Beyoncé once said, “Ten. Ten. Ten. Across the board.” 

    Sika Osei (2022)

    The detailing on this dress made me fall to my knees in the middle of the road screaming, “What?” The corset and sheer illusion are so intricate it looks like art. Come on, Picasso. 

    KieKie (2022)

    This orange on her skin, the dramatic sleeves, and don’t get us started on the “show me your stomach” cutout. KieKie ate and left no crumbs. 

    Adebayo Oke-Lawal 

    Classic man in mustard? We love to see it. 

    Ini Dima-Okojie (2020)

    I love this Mazelle dress, but I’m here for the Tower of Babel hair. Why bother winning an award when you have one on your head? 

    Uti Nwachukwu (2022)

    The days of men doing the bare minimum on the red carpet are over. Ditch the overplayed black tux, or overly velvet suits that look like rugs, and give me something colourful and bold like Uti Nwachukwu. 

    ALSO READ: 20 of the Best, Mid and Worst Looks From the 2023 MET Gala 

  • How “Holla At Your Boy” Started Wizkid’s Superstar Journey

    With a Grammy (and multiple nominations), two top ten hits on the Billboard Hot 100, groundbreaking collaborations and a signature sound that’s captured the hearts and waistlines of fans worldwide, Wizkid is undoubtedly one of the most iconic figures in afrobeats today. But how did Ojuelegba’s Ayodeji Balogun become the biggest Nigerian export since crude oil? It all started with his highly contagious debut single, Holla At Your Boy. 

    About six days before Justin Bieber took over the world with the Ludacris-assisted hit, Baby, miles away, Nigerians got introduced to our version of a teen popstar heartthrob when Holla At Your Boy dropped on January 2, 2010. 

    Decked head-to-toe in all the 2010s fashion trends: skinny jeans, Supra sneakers, shambalas, a non-religious rosary, graphic tees, Ray Ban glasses and a mohawk, because why not? The sound and visual appeal of the then 19-year-old singer were so well-crafted that he seamlessly caused a shift in the music industry, offering a glimpse into a new phase of afrobeats that would eventually usher in other young stars like Davido, Dammy Krane, Mo’Cheddah and Olamide. 

    Source: Youtube 

    Produced by DJ Klem and Vebee, Holla At Your Boy sampled Girls by Korean singer Se7en, with Wizkid’s vocals and palpable energy carrying the song across the finish line. Unlike the relaxed, no-stress Big W we know today, who’s confident enough to make an album called More Love, Less Ego, baby Wizkid had no ego — all he wanted to do was prove himself and make a statement in a game dominated by legends who’d been running things for almost a decade at the time. Wiz was hungry for success, and he poured every ounce of that drive into what would later form part of his debut album, Super Star. 

    RECOMMENDED: Is “More Love, Less Ego” Wizkid’s Horniest Album? Here’s What We Think

    But before there was Holla At Your Boy, Wizkid was Lil Prinz, an upcoming singer in a group called the Glorious Five, with his friends from church. The transformation from Lil Prinz to Wizkid reached completion when he got signed to Banky W and Tunde Demuren’s record label, Empire Mates Entertainment (EME), in 2009. 

    Following his signing to EME, Wizkid caught our attention when his vocals provided the hook for Fast Money Fast Cars, off MI’s critically acclaimed 2009 debut album, Talk About It. Making an indelible impression opposite “Nigeria’s own Kanye West from the West” was no easy feat, but Wizkid pulled it off. That same year, Wizkid made a cameo in Banky W’s star-studded Lagos Party music video, doing a cute one-two step alongside his label head. 

    After Holla At Your Boy, Wizkid became a household name. While the song had teenagers and adults singing along to the playful “If you see me drive by, holla at your boy/ I got more swag, holla at your boy”, the Patrick Ellis-directed video was a pop culture moment in its own right, with cameos from Banky W, Ice Prince and Skales, as well as future entertainment juggernauts like Asa Asika, Uche Odoh and Sophie Alakija. 

    Source: Youtube 

    At a time when streaming wasn’t even a thing, Wizkid charmed his audience with an infectious bop, setting the stage for a career that’s broken records and pushed afrobeats to the forefront of the global music conversation. While we’re grateful for the Wizkid that gave us Ojuelegba, Jaiye Jaiye and Essence, we’ll never forget the 19-year-old dreamer who doggy-ed in his skinny jeans on a basketball court with his friends. That was the moment when we fell in love with Ayodeji Balogun. 

    ALSO READ: We Ranked the Best Wizkid Songs of the Decade

    Can you handle the hotness of Zikoko’s women’s only party of the year, HERtitude? Click here to buy your ticket and find out.

  • 8 of the Coolest New School Artistes to Help You Get Into Ghana’s Music Scene

    Ghanaian music has evolved a lot over the years. We had the VIP era, with Ahomka Wo Mu and Two Women (with Tony Tetuila), in the early 2000s. The mid-2000s introduced us to R2Bees, with Kiss Your Hand, and the azonto dance craze, thanks to bangers from Sarkodie and Fuse ODG. 

    With artistes like Amaarae, Black Sherif, King Promise and Kwesi Arthur building up massive fan bases across the world, we’ve decided to look at some of the new school artistes putting their stamp on the scene and continuing the legacy of the icons who came before them. 

    Yaw Tog 

    What do you get when you take a cup of black coffee with two scoops of pre-workout and half a can of your favourite energy drink? Chaotic adrenaline, for sure — which is more or less what you get listening to Yaw Tog’s music. At just 19, the Kumasi-born rapper has helped introduce Ghana’s version of drill music — asakaa — to the world. Delivering bars in his native language of Twi, you don’t have to understand Yaw Tog’s music to feel gingered to take on the world. 

    You should listen to: His 2020 breakout single, Y33gye, when hitting the gym or looking for extra energy to fight capitalism.

    Moliy

    Moliy is no stranger to Nigerians who love good music. Getting her big break on Amaarae’s global chart-topper, Sad Girlz Luv Money, Moliy has since collaborated with everyone from BOJ to Ogranya and producer, P.Priime. Features aside, Moliy holds her own on solo projects, proving that she’s more than just a chorus girly.

    You should listen to: Her 2022 EP, Honey Doom. 

    SuperJazzClub

    Nothing beats live music, and as someone who’s seen and felt the energy SuperJazzClub brings to the stage, I can confidently say they’re the real deal. With nine members, a number that rivals some famous K-pop groups (BTS only has seven members), SuperJazzClub is bursting at the seams with talent across vocals and production. The creative mix is evident in the music they’ve put out since their 2020 debut EP, For All the Good Times. Their rave-like performances have built a cult following outside Ghana, with fans worldwide (including me) ready to shout “Flash”, as soon as their 2021 smash hit, Cameras, comes on. 

    You should listen to: Paradise off their 2023 compilation, ACT 3.

    Baaba J 

    There’s no denying that Baaba J is one of the most exciting voices out of Ghana right now. Making a major entry into the scene with her 2020 debut EP, Lumumba St, Baaba J introduced herself as an artiste who’s comfortable knowing she doesn’t fit in. “I have no exes. I have no dresses. I’m a geek,” she declares on Tomboy, a standout track from the EP, before reminding everyone that, tomboy or not, she’s still the girl who can easily “pull both sexes”. 

    You should listen to: Her latest single, Ole. 

    RECOMMENDED: We Don’t Rate You If You’re Not Listening to These 10 Female Artists

    Fameye

    Listening to Fameye is like having a spiritual experience. Leaving his early rap days behind for a more high-life-leaning sound, Fameye has established himself as one of the most versatile artistes in Ghana, who’s not afraid to explore new territories. 

    You should listen to: His 2021 hit, Praise, and let his music minister to the deepest part of your soul. 

    Essilfie

    If you’re looking for a lush and sultry mix of pop/R&B with a sprinkle of amapiano, then Essilfie is your girl. With a voice that would fit seamlessly into the 1990s era of Jill Scotts and Erykah Badus, Essilfie makes music for the baddies who know their worth and refuse to take shit from anybody. Her music is unapologetic and right in your face. Whether you get it or not, Essilfie is that girl. 

    You should listen to: KroKro Me from her 2022 EP, Tori’s Lounge. 

    Marince Omario 

    If you’re into no skips trap artistes like Pyscho YP and Don Toliver, then Marince Omario is the Ghanaian rapper you need to have on your playlist. Famous for creating his own genre of music , Marince combines trap, R&B and what sounds like nostalgic high-life, to make the distinct style he describes as “Fu”. With Manrice, you don’t know if you’ll get a club banger or a song to play in the background while you journal. But one thing’s for sure: you’ll have a good time. 

    You should listen to: Ramblers off his 2020 EP, Oblitey, while pre-gaming before a dirty Friday night on the streets. 

    Larruso 

    If Larruso was a Nigerian artiste, he’d be on the radio daily, with earworms you couldn’t possibly avoid even if you wanted to. Blending dancehall with afropop and a certain swagger that’s clearly innate as opposed to acquired, Larruso’s music holds your attention from start to finish. With a tested and trusted discography since his 2019 debut, he’s the captain of his musical ship and wants you to join him on his journey. 

    You should listen to: His 2022 EP, Sounds from the Slums, for the full Larruso experience. 

    ALSO READ: A Ghanaian Helps Us Break Down Lyrics on Black Sherif’s “The Villain I Never Was” Album

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  • 15 Nigerians Hilda Baci Has Joined on the Guinness World Records List

    You have to be living under a rock to not have heard of Hilda Baci, the 27-year-old chef who set out to break the Guinness World Record for the longest cooking marathon by an individual (86 hours and 45 minutes). And after a long weekend of back-to-back stirring and sprinkling, she finally did it on Monday, May 15, 2023. 

    Hilda Baci has united Nigerians like never before. But as the folks at Guinness get their ink ready to add her name to their list, here’s a brief history lesson on some of the other Guinness world record-breaking Nigerians you need to know. 

    https://twitter.com/zikokomag/status/1658007152118644736?s=20

    Wizkid

    Source: Wizkid Daily

    Everyone knows Big W has a Grammy and one of the best Nigerian albums of all time with Made in Lagos, but did you know Ayo from Surulere is also in the Guinness Book of World Records? Wizkid made history as the first Afrobeats artiste to enter the book when One Dance, his collaboration with Drake and Kyla, became the first song ever to reach one billion streams on Spotify in 2018. 

    Chidera Anemege 

    Source: Getty Images

    He is a Nigerian rapper based in the United States of America who set the record for the longest rap freestyle by an individual during the MTV O Music Awards in 2011. He rapped for nine hours straight. 

    DJ Obi 

    Source: The Guardian 

    DJ Obi might be famous for Obi’s House now, but in 2016, he set a record for the longest-ever DJ set, with 240 hours of nonstop music at Sao Cafe in Lagos. 

    Femi Kuti 

    Source: Global Citizen

    Femi Kuti is an icon and the Guinness world record holder for holding a single note on a saxophone for 51 minutes and 35 seconds. He did this at a concert in the Fela Shrine in 2017. 

    Sandra Ikeji 

    Source: Instagram/Sandra Ikeji

    The CEO of Black Dove Models and sister to our fave chaotic Real Housewife, Laura Ikeji, secured a spot in the Guinness Book of Records for the most bridesmaids any bride has ever had on her train, with 200 bridesmaids at her 2020 wedding. We can only imagine how interesting their WhatsApp group must be. 

    Rema 

    Source: Billboard

    Rema is genuinely divine because there’s literally nothing he can’t do at this point. The Mavin/Jonzing singer entered the Guinness Book of Records in 2023 as the first artiste to top the MENA Charts with his single Calm Down. The MENA Charts is the inaugural Middle Eastern and North African chart that tracks the biggest songs in those regions. 

    Gbenga Ezekiel 

    Source: Radio Nigeria 

    Skipping can be stressful, but Gbenga Ezekiel can’t relate, especially after setting the record for the most skips on one leg when he skipped 265 times in 2022. There are levels to this thing. 

    RECOMMENDED: These 9 Nigerian Songs Would’ve Slapped Harder at King Charles III’s Coronation

    Stephen Keshi 

    Source: Goal.com

    The former Nigerian Super Eagles player and coach entered the Guinness Book of World Records when he became the youngest person to win the Africa Cup of Nations as both a player and coach. He first won the cup as a player and captain of the team in 1994 at 32, and then, as the team’s coach in 2013 when he was 51. He passed away in 2016. 

    Pinki Debbie 

    Source: Bella Naija

    Pinki Debbie is a Nigerian dancer and fitness enthusiast who’s famous for gaining entry into the Guinness Book of Records after dancing for 150 hours (seven days) straight in 2017. This record was previously held by Kaffy who led a dance party that lasted for 52 hours and three minutes back in 2006. 

    Harrison Chinedu 

    Source: The Sun 

    Harrison Chinedu is a Nigerian footballer who entered the Guinness World Records after travelling 48.04 km for six hours and 15 minutes with a ball on his head. He set this record in 2016. 

    Haruna Abdulhazeez

    Source: OloriSuperGal

    Haruna Abdulhazeez is a Nigerian tennis player who set the record for the most hits of a tennis ball with a tennis racket in one minute. He did this in 2018 when he recorded 187 hits in just one minute.

    Adetunwase Adenle 

    Source: OloriSuperGal

    Adetunwase Adenle is a teacher and artiste with not one but four entries in the Guinness Book of World Records. He set his first record in 2010 when he brought 350 Nigerian children together to create the biggest painting by a large number of people — 63.5m x 49.3m. His second and third record came in 2011 when he organised an event with the most children (4,222) reading in one place, to encourage reading culture, and another with the highest number of children (37,809) washing their hands at the same time. Finally, in 2016, he set a new record for the world’s biggest post office stamp ( 2.448 m2). 

    Tuedon Morgan 

    Source: Wikipedia 

    Tuedon Morgan is a two-time Guinness world record holder with the quickest half marathon on each continent (female) at ten days, 23 hours, and 37 minutes, and the quickest half marathon on each continent and the North Pole (female), with a record of 62 days, 12 hours, 58 minutes and 49 seconds.

    Olawumi Treasure Bayode 

    Source: The Nation

    Bayo Treasure Olawunmi is the Guinness World Record holder for the longest reading marathon, after reading aloud for 120 hours (five days) nonstop in 2018. 

    Folashade Oluwafemiayo 

    Source: Premium Times

    Folashade Oluwafemiayo not only set a new record for the heaviest power lift by a female paralympic athlete with 155 kg at the 2022 Commonwealth Games, but she also broke her own record from 2020. Talk about iconic. 

    ALSO READ: We Don’t Rate You If You’re Not Listening to These 10 Female Artists

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  • These 9 Nigerian Songs Would’ve Slapped Harder at King Charles III’s Coronation

    King Charles and Queen Camilla’s coronation might’ve come and gone, but everyone is still talking about Tiwa Savage’s performance, particularly her song choice. 

    https://twitter.com/zikokomag/status/1655310815300407297?s=20

    Keys to the Kingdom from Beyoncé’s The Gift is a song about black men remembering they’re kings no matter what, and Tiwa performed it for a white man whose ancestors discussed our slavery over tea and crumpets. And whether she should’ve sang or not is still up for debate. 

    However, if I had to pick Nigerian songs for this coronation, these would be my choices. You’re welcome, Charly Bomboy. 

    Koroba — Tiwa Savage 

    I love me some Tiwa Savage, but she should’ve performed Koroba instead of Keys to the Kingdom. After all, Camilla can totally relate to “I no come this life to suffer. If I follow politician. You go hear am for paper.” While Charles can relate to eating money he didn’t work for. This choice was staring our African bad gyal in the face, for god’s sake. 

    Waymaker — Sinach 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4XWfwLHeLM

    Do you think it’s easy to be the heir to the throne for over 60 years while your mother, the Queen, holds on to the last thread of life? This coronation is a thanksgiving service, dear. After all the waiting Charly Bomboy has done, he needs Sinach to lead a full-on worship session, starting with Waymaker. 

    Terminator — Asake 

    Charles should’ve hit Asake up to perform Terminator at the coronation because when you really look at it, the British people have signed a contract with him that can’t be terminated unless he dies. This will be Charle’s love letter to his people. 

    Dami Duro — Davido 

    Davido was ready to take over the Afrobeats throne when he dropped Dami Duro in 2012. Now, Charly Boy can confidently sing this song about being unstoppable as he occupies the throne and gains access to the billions and stolen jewels of the British monarchy his baba (and mama) olowo passed down to him. 

    RECOMMENDED: The Real 30BG Know These Are the 15 Greatest Davido Songs of ALL Time 

    For Your Case — Teni

    Yes, we all love Princess Diana; after all, she’s our mums’ BFF. But can we get into Charly Bomboy and CamCam’s love story? This man said, “I’d rather become the most hated man in Britain (or a tampon) than end our adulterous affair”. If this isn’t true love and loyalty, I don’t know what it is. No song captures this love like Teni’s For Your Case. 

    Who’s Your Guy — Spyro 

    Spyro should’ve performed his smash hit because whether the people of Britain like it or not, Charly Bomboy is their guy. He’s the one they’ll have to hail every day. 

    Bumper 2 Bumper — Wande Coal 

    From being the crowned prince for decades to finally becoming king? Just like Wande Coal, Charles’ level has changed. Not quite from Mushin to Mo’Hits; more like from one wing of Windsor Castle to another, but still. You go, boy. 

    All of Us (Ashawo) — Fireboy DML 

    This song will be a special dedication to all the Cha-milla haters. Yes, they cheated on their spouses. Yes, they did Diana dirty. But in the end, we’re all ashawos too, so why are we throwing stones in glass houses? Charles, ashawo. Camilla, ashawo. You, ashawo. Me, ashawo. All of us, ashawo. 

    Kilometre — Burna Boy

    I’m personally surprised Burna Boy didn’t perform at the coronation. The whole “being the only Nigerian to perform at the coronation” thing seems like his vibe. And Kilometre would’ve been the perfect song if he’d been there because Charles has truly seen shege waiting to become king. 

    ALSO READ: These 10 Tiwa Savage Songs Are Also Gospel Songs, Let’s Explain

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  • #BumpThis: Sarz Brings Millymay_pod, Gimba and Fxrtune Onboard for the Party-Starting Anthem, “Jam One Kele”

    If there’s one thing everyone should know by now, it’s Sarz is nobody’s mate. The superstar music producer delivers bangers year after year, proving his incredible chemistry with a wide range of artists — from headliners like Wizkid and Niniola to under-the-radar singers like Lojay and Obongjayar. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve had a hit before or not; with Sarz, you’re guaranteed one. 

    Sarz goes hard alongside Millymay_pod, Gimba and Fxrtune, for his first official single of 2023, Jam One Kele, the lead single off MTLF II — a compilation album by the 15 talents (artists and producers) of The Sarz Academy, Session Three. 

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    Produced by the trio of Twitchpapii, Bombocat and Oddwave, Jam One Kele leans heavily on Caribbean influences to deliver the perfect summer anthem (if only we had summer in Nigeria for real). Gimba skates over the beat with an unforgettable hook, while Millymay_pod and Fxrtune trade verses that set the stage for a night of slow whining, alcohol and unlimited rocks. 

    While Millymay_pod, Gimba and Fxrtune each carry this song on their back with impeccable delivery, Sarz takes charge as the curator of the track, showcasing his ear for great music and even greater artists — including P.Priime, Tempoe and Dunnie — way before the world takes note of their greatness. 

    Jam One Kele feels like the party starter we’ve all been waiting for. 

    Listen to the track 

    ALSO READ: Sarz’s Biggest Bangers Ranked by Twerkability

  • We Don’t Rate You If You’re Not Listening to These 10 Female Artists

    Young? Yes. Female? Yes. Killing it? Hell, yes. 

    The women on this list are some of the brightest musicians poised to change the game and upgrade your playlist in 2023 with their incredible sound. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in the mood to kick ass, cuddle up and watch anime or cheat back on your partner, the range here is insane, and we can’t help but stan. 

    Brazy

    “Attends shekeleba” 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Are you really a hot girl or city boy if you’re not rinsing Brazy’s Attends like there’s no tomorrow? Kindly check our membership portal for validation because Attends is our official anthem. Remember when Saweetie spoke about making something cute for the summertime? She must’ve heard Brazy deliver her iconic “Cheat on me, I’ll cheat on you” line. Fun and bursting with personality, Brazy’s music will have you in a chokehold once you get into it. 

    Morravey 

    If there’s one thing we know now, it’s that Davido is clear when it comes to scouting talent. It just makes sense to trust the guy who delivered superstars like Mayorkun and Peruzzi. Despite not having a solo track in sight, Morravey (Davido’s latest musical discovery) holds her own on In The Garden, a standout track off of his newest album, Timeless. With her distinct vocal style and Davido’s push, I have a strong feeling we’ll be hearing a lot of Morravey before the year runs out. 

    Bloody Civilian 

    Bloody Civilian is an effortlessly cool badass. I don’t know how else to explain it, but who else drops a debut song titled How to Kill A Man then follows it up with I Don’t Really Like You? The Abuja export has been raising a storm in the music industry since she made a striking appearance on the soundtrack to 2022’s Black Panther: Wakanda Forever alongside Tems, Rema and Fireboy DML. Bloody Civilian’s music feels like she’s whipping out two middle fingers. I don’t know who she’s flipping off, but best believe I’m on her side. 

    Ugoccie 

    Ugoccie might’ve won over the internet with her viral and hilarious TikTok remake of Rotimi’s In My Bed in 2019, but it’s been four years now, and it looks like the singer/rapper has turned her 15 seconds of fame into a thriving career. Following the success of her 2022 debut EP, A Piece of Me, and collaborations with Phyno and Niniola, Ugoccie has set the stage for the long haul, and we’re excited to hear what she puts out next. 

    SGawD

    We weren’t capping when we put SGawD’s 2021 Savage Bitch Juice EP on our list of the best albums/EPs of that year. With a sick flow that can stand toe-to-toe with most of the male rappers in the game right now, SGawD has successfully stamped her name on the Nigerian rap scene, demanding our attention with each bar. Her follow-up singles — 2022’s Telfar with Ronehi, and 2023’s Intermission — further prove that SGawD takes no prisoners every time she gets behind a mic. 

    RECOMMENDATION: It’s Time to Give Female Nigerian Producers Their Flowers

    Oiza and Meyi 

    Oiza and Meyi make great music, but what makes them better artistes than most of your faves right now is their live shows. These girls know how to put on a show and get the crowd going even if they’ve never heard their music before. Famous for their TikTok covers of artistes like The Cavemen and a Shakira elevator performance, the twin sisters were born to be entertainers.

    @oiza__meyi

    We are off at the end #fyp #goviral #singingtwins

    ♬ original sound – Oiza x meyi

    If you don’t believe me, check out their singles Santi and Outside, or better still, catch them at one of their live shows in Lagos or Abuja, singing the hilarious unreleased Jesus Told You to Break Up with Me. 

    Somadina 

    The music on Somadina’s 2022 album, Heart of the Heavenly Undeniable, sounds just as weird as the album title, but this is one case where weird is a good, no, great thing. Taking on a more experimental approach to alternative R&B, Somadina is fearless about the type of music she wants to make. It might be an acquired taste, but best believe her music is tasty AF. 

    Solis 

    Solis makes music for the girlies who love to talk about star signs and watch Sailor Moon. I don’t know how else to explain it, but the girls whothat get it, get it. Whether she’s asking to be your Angel or begging you not to leave her on Abeg, Solis’s ethereal voice makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud. As a matter of fact, it’s the literal representation of this Spongebob meme: 

    Source: Giphy

    Efe Oraka 

    If you were on the internet when SoundCloud stars like Odunsi the Engine and Tay Iwar started transitioning into the mainstream scene in 2016, then the name Efe Oraka wouldn’t sound strange. After stealing our hearts with covers on social media, Efe cemented herself as an artiste to watch with the release of her debut single, Wonderland. Although she’s been on and off for a while, each new project she’s put out confirms the singer has become more confident in her sound and identity as an artiste. Efe Oraka is the alt R&B princess the Nigerian music scene has been missing. 

    Kold AF 

    There’s something cool about listening to an artiste for the first time and understanding that they’ve done the work needed to figure out their sound. Kold AF is one of those rare finds. After an impressive run of features with Moelogo, Kaey and MoGunz, she made her solo debut in 2022 with the aptly titled EP, Kold SZN. 

    From a night of fun and seduction on Wasted to using booze and music to deal with the trauma of a toxic relationship on Blues, Kold AF presents a five-minute preview into the different aspects of navigating love and life as a young Nigerian. 

    ALSO READ: The Ultimate 30+ Guide to Understanding Nigerian Pop Culture

    Listen to our hot girl playlist here:

  • Everything You Need to Know About Septum Piercings

    Are you thinking of experimenting with a new look by getting your septum pierced? Well, you’re in the right place. 

    Source: Los Angeles Times

    While septum piercings are nothing new, they’ve become more popular over the years, regardless of gender. Nigerian parents might rain hail and brimstone at the sight of their kids with one, but septum piercings are cool, and that’s the tea. 

    From the pricing to the pain and how long it takes to heal, we’ve answered all your burning questions about septum piercings. 

    Is a septum piercing different from a nose piercing?

    Source: Racked.com

    No, dear, it’s not. The septum is basically like a cartilage fence between both nostrils. While traditional nose piercings sit on either of your nostrils, a septum piercing is at the bottom (piercers call it the “sweet spot”) of your nose. 

    What health concerns should you be worried about? 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    A septum piercing is more or less a wound that heals around fancy jewellery to make you look fabulous. But it’s still a wound, and like most, there’s a chance it would get infected, which’ll make your septum swell, hurt or create pus. It’s important to monitor your piercing and see a doctor at the slightest sign of these three things. It could result in granulation tissue or scarring. 

    But those are worst-case scenarios. You could get your septum pierced and live happily ever after. Getting a piercing is a risk, but so is living in Nigeria at all. 

    How painful is this septum piercing thing? 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    As someone with a septum piercing, I can tell you for free that getting pierced hurts. You’re literally making a hole in your body, duh. But pain thresholds  vary, so you might be a Marvel Avenger and feel nothing. The pain tends to come like a quick, sharp pain, but once the needle comes out and your jewellery has been added, the world will feel alright again. 

    Fun fact: septum piercings are less painful than ear piercings. Who would’ve thought? 

    What are your options when it comes to septum jewellery? 

    Source: Pinterest

    From bead rings, captive rings, septum pinchers, clickers to circular barbells, the world is your oyster. 

    Bead Ring. Source: Pinterest
    Clickers. Source: Pinterest
    Captive Rings. Source: Afroculture.net

    RECOMMENDED: How to Dress Like a Sabi Girl, According to Ayra Starr’s Stylist

    Let’s talk money

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    The cost of a septum piercing varies based on location. But a cute one should cost somewhere between ₦‎8k and ₦‎20k. 

    You’ve gotten your septum pierced. Now, what? 

    Source: Pinterest

    Imagine going through the process of getting your septum pierced just to take it out because you have an infection? 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Practising aftercare is the best way to ensure your septum piercing fully heals without any wahala. First things first, avoid touching your piercing, especially with unwashed hands. You’re excited; I get it. But to avoid getting bacteria on it, please, keep your fingers to yourself. Don’t twist or fiddle with it. In fact, ignore the piercing like it’s a toxic ex. 

    The next step is to do a saline (salt and water) cleanse twice daily. No one said you should scrub it with salt like kponmo, just dip a towel in saline solution and gently clean around it. And gently pat the skin dry afterwards. By the way, skincare girlies, don’t allow the products in your 12-step Korean routine to touch your piercing until it’s fully healed. 

    How long does a septum piercing take to heal? 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    The healing time varies from person to person, just like the pain of getting the piercing. But, if you practise good aftercare and stop playing with your piercing, then you’re looking at four to six months before your septum fully heals. It also depends on factors like stress levels and skin sensitivity. But last last, your septum should be back to its full strength in a year. 

    Can I change my septum jewellery during the healing period? 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    No, dear. But, as I said, the healing period varies. So while it might take me eight months to fully heal, it might take four months for you. The best thing to do here is to consult your piercer, so they can track your progress and change the jewellery themselves if it’s time to do so.

    Why should you get your septum pierced? 

    Source: Stocksey

    Because you’re a bad bitch who can’t be stopped, period. 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    But seriously, getting a piercing of any kind should be a personal choice. If you want one, get it. Do septum piercings look cool? Yes. But they’re also not everyone’s cup of zobo. Do you, boo. 

    ALSO READ: ​​Why Does This Popular Hairstyle Have the Girlies in a Chokehold?

  • Netflix’s “Queen Charlotte” vs. What Happened in Real Life

    After giving us the epic line, “I burn for you”, Netflix’s Bridgerton is back with another interracial couple (Shonda Rhimes, I know what you are) for us to root for.

    Taking us back in time, Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story sheds some light on the love story between King George III and Queen Charlotte, who were side characters in the first and second seasons of Bridgerton. The show opens with a message that it’s not entirely factual, so we couldn’t help but do some digging to find out where exactly the writers added Maggi and salt. Here’s what we found out. 

    Was Queen Charlotte biracial? 

    Source: Netflix

    On the show, Charlotte’s arrival into British court is groundbreaking, bringing about the Great Experiment, which saw her mother-in-law, Princess Augusta, introduce other black people into court. While this storyline is a big slay for black people, no historical evidence supports the gist that Queen Charlotte was black or biracial. 

    That being said, art historian, Mario De Valdes y Cocom, who started studying portraits of the late Queen in 1967, believed she was indeed biracial and of Portuguese descent. If this is true, it means our good sis, Meghan, wasn’t the first melanated royal to step foot in Buckingham Palace. 

    How did Charlotte arrive from Germany speaking English with a British accent?

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Last I checked, German was the official language in Germany, so how did a German princess show up in England spitting in Adele’s accent? The show obviously took creative liberties as the real Queen Charlotte had to learn English and the customs of her new country. 

    Why did King George marry Queen Charlotte? 

    Source: Netflix

    On the show, we hear the young Charlotte ask her brother why the King of England would want to marry an unknown princess like her.

    The truth is King George didn’t have plenty of fish in his marriage sea. The King had to marry a princess, and there were none in England then. He also had to marry a Protestant, which meant choosing from Germany or Scandinavia. The King himself is also of German descent, with his great-grandfather being German. So, sis, this man was just marrying from his village. That’s all. 

    Did the King and Queen marry immediately? 

    Source: Netflix

    Yes, King George and Queen Charlotte married just six hours after meeting for the first time on September 8, 1761. But it wasn’t because of love-at-first-sight. Their families had already signed off on the marriage ahead of their meeting. The future Queen was 17 (She should’ve been writing JAMB, to be honest), while King George was 22.

    RECOMMENDED: Ranking Nollywood Bridgerton Looks from “God, Abeg” to “I Burn For You”

    Are the Danburys real? 

    Source: Netflix

    We’ve already established that the Great Experiment was created to entertain us messy bitches who live for drama. Unfortunately for Lady Danbury stans, her story is as accurate as Father Christmas’s. However, England did have a relationship with Lady Danbury’s country, Sierra Leone, and it has to do with slavery. 

    Who really brought Pormenarians to the palace? 

    Source: Netflix

    On the show, King George kickstarted Queen Charlotte’s obsession with Pormenarians when he gifts her one — teddy bears weren’t a toasting technique back then, so people handed out animals or palaces. But in real life, the Queen pulled up from Germany with her little pets in hand. Pomeranians are actually German, from the Pomerania region in north-west Poland and north-east Germany.

    Cute story, though. 

    Did King George really have a mental illness? 

    Source: Netflix

    One of the saddest plotlines of Queen Charlotte happens to be true. Historians say King George battled with an unnamed mental illness throughout his reign, from 1788 to 1789 and again in 1801. It was so bad, he was nicknamed the Mad King. King George was eventually declared unfit to rule in 1810, allowing his eldest son, George IV, to act as Prince Regent from 1811. 

    Wait, so Queen Charlotte actually had 15 children? 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Queen Charlotte had not one, not two, but 15 children. She had nine sons and six daughters, but their two youngest sons died at ages one and four. Despite having all these children, the King and Queen struggled for heirs. Two of their daughters never got married, while most of their sons focused on scoring away matches, making the King and Queen’s grandchildren unfit for the throne. This changed when their son, Prince Edward, and his wife, Princess Victoria, welcomed their daughter, Alexandrina Victoria, or simply Queen Victoria. 

    An interesting connection between King George and Queen Charlotte and Harry and Meghan

    Source: The Times

    As shown in the series, King George III bought Buckingham House, which later became the famous Buckingham Palace, as a gift for his wife in 1762. While living in the palace, the couple commissioned the construction of Frogmore Cottage for quick summer getaways (their own private Ilashe without the ocean). Guess who rented the cottage while living in the UK? Yes, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. If you look at it, King George and Queen Charlotte were Harry and Meghan’s original landlord and landlady. 

    ALSO READ: TV Shows You Shouldn’t Watch with Your Parents

    Can you handle the hotness of Zikoko’s Hertitude? Click here to buy your ticket and find out. 

  • We Became Best Friends After Having a Threesome — Josh and Kelechi
    My Bro is a biweekly Zikoko series that interrogates and celebrates male friendships of different forms.

    Josh and Kelechi became friends after they both participated in a threesome. Now five years into their friendship, the two talk about the interesting sexual encounter that brought them together, bonding over therapy and why boundaries are important even in an unconventional friendship like theirs. 

    Let’s take a trip down memory lane. How did you guys meet? 

    Kelechi: I met Josh in 2018. I was in my second year of university while he was in his third and dating a girl in my class. I didn’t really know him, but their relationship was popular because both of them were the king and queen of PDA on campus. You wouldn’t see one without the other; they were always holding hands or kissing. 

    Josh: What can I say? We were in love. I’d seen you around too, but I only started paying attention when my girlfriend started talking about this cute guy in class she wanted us to hook up with. She had a crush on you, but I needed to know more if we were both going to pursue something with you. 

    Pursue something? 

    Kelechi: Josh and his girlfriend are in an open relationship, although they’re only allowed to be with the same person. Guy, please explain it yourself. 

    Josh: LOL. You’ve dropped the basic synopsis of our situation. The full gist is that my girl and I are open, but we only hook up with thirds. We’re not allowed to see other people separately. If I like someone, then two of us must like the person and vice-versa. It’s also purely sexual, no feelings attached.  

    My girl liked Kelechi back then, so I had to scope the guy on my own too. You’re a fine guy, so it didn’t take too much convincing. Getting you on board was surprisingly easy too. But I can still remember the shock on your face when we told you we wanted to sleep with you. 

    Kelechi: Bruh. Let me not lie and say I was a saint or anything. But I’d never been in a threesome, much more being approached by a couple to have one. I liked your girlfriend too, but I didn’t overthink it since she wasn’t available. She asked me to hang out after class, and that’s when you made the proposition. I thought it was a prank. 

    Josh: Prank as per you’re on Punk’d? You really think you’re a celebrity for real. 

    Kelechi: My friend, shut up. I had to pick my jaw up from the floor that day. My brain told me to say “No”, but I watched myself say, “Yes”. 

    Josh: Omo, I was shocked, too o. That was the fastest “Yes” we’d ever gotten. Most people would ask to think about it and either come back for some *cough cough* or start avoiding us. But you said “Yes” on the first ask. Why? 

    Kelechi: I don’t know. But there was something about the both of you — being the hottest couple in school and all, wanting me that immediately turned me on. I also felt really special, like I was chosen. 

    Josh: DFKM

    How did this friendship form from your threesome? 

    Josh: Like Omawunmi once sang, “If you ask me, na who I go ask?” 

    Kelechi: Behave, jare. I was too irresistible for just a one-night stand. You needed me to be a part of your life. 

    Josh: Honestly, yes. The sex was great, and all three of us enjoyed it, but the conversation after really struck me, and I was like, “This boy is cool AF”. 

    What did you guys talk about? 

    Kelechi: Therapy. 

    Josh: That’s not a topic anyone would expect to hear, especially when the people involved just had a spicy threesome. But I’d just started therapy, and when Kelechi joked about telling his therapist about us, I just started pouring my whole life’s story to him.

    This was the first time I was meeting another guy who was in therapy. I’m sure there are other guys, but I’d never seen someone who was that open to talking about it. It started from jokes about how therapy is expensive AF and making us poor, and then we just segued into how helpful it’s been for us. 

    Kelechi: Do you get? I’d be more of a mess if it wasn’t for therapy. I have a serious anxiety issue and most Nigerians don’t even take it seriously. People think I’m lazy or avoidant. Therapy helped me figure out the problem and learn how to confront it.

    Talking to another guy who knew something was wrong and was taking the necessary steps to fix it reaffirmed my decision. 

    Josh: Me too. My girl and I usually keep a distance from our thirds unless we’re planning a hook-up, but I started hanging out with you more, and it was just what I needed. She supported me but didn’t get the therapy thing. And that’s fine. I also needed to be around someone who could relate on a personal level. 

    Was your girlfriend okay with that? 

    Josh: Not at first, but I think she also understood that the sex thing with Kelechi was more her than me. My girl is my best friend, so I didn’t have a lot of friends in school I could talk to. I made her understand that I needed Kelechi on a friendship level and it didn’t have anything to do with her not being enough. 

    Kelechi: This guy and sweet mouth. “Anything to do with her not being enough”? Bars, my guy. 

    Josh: I dey try. But it really wasn’t. My entire existence was wrapped around one relationship in my life, and it wasn’t fair on her. It’s also part of why I started seeing a therapist. I needed people to talk to. 

    It’s been five years, and I’m curious how your friendship has evolved. 

    Josh: I realised a couple of months into our friendship that I was doing to Kelechi what I did to my girlfriend, making them the centre of my world. Like, I was talking to just two of them, and I know it’s good to keep my circle small, but it doesn’t mean I should suffocate the people in it. Kelechi was also too polite to ask for space. Now we have these difficult conversations and draw boundaries where necessary.

    Kelechi: I’m a people pleaser, and I wanted to be a good friend, so it was hard for me to say, “Oh, I feel you dude. But I can’t process your stuff now because my life’s a mess.” 

    We enjoy talking to each other, and it’s helped to have someone to listen to and bounce ideas off of, but that boundary thing was necessary. Then again, how do you set boundaries in such a complicated friendship? 

    Josh: Talking about it. Shoutout to my therapist because she was the one who pointed out how in trying to be each other’s person, there was a high chance we might lose ourselves. I brought it up with Kelechi, and we had that conversation. We have an “I’m at my mental capacity” safeword. I know he wants to be there for me, and me, him, but we also had to learn how to be there for ourselves once in a while. 

    You guys seem so zen. Do you even fight? 

    Kelechi: It’s hard to fight with someone who doesn’t like confrontation. Whenever we almost have an issue, Josh will apologise whether he was right or wrong. I admire it, but it can be annoying. 

    Josh: Wow. But it’s because I love you, bro. I genuinely don’t like people being upset at me. Plus, we’ve never had an issue worth fighting over. Our only problems are you always being late and me taking five years to text back sometimes. 

    Kelechi: Fair enough. 

    Is there anything you’d change about your friendship? 

    Josh: I wish we met earlier. I don’t regret how we met, and I wouldn’t change it, but I wish we got into each other’s lives earlier. You’ve made me more open to receiving non-romantic love. I can’t help but wonder sometimes how many friends and relationships I missed early on in life because I was closed off. 

    Kelechi: I wouldn’t change a thing. Not even timing. We met when we needed to meet, and it worked out well. I’d change your detty love for amala though. That right there is a character flaw. LOL. 

    Do you have an interesting bro story you’d like to share? Fill this form and we’ll get back to you.

    What’s something you’ve always wanted to tell the other person? 

    Kelechi: I’m open with how I feel about you and your importance to me. I love you, and If I had to choose a best friend in another life, even if I were a dog, I’d choose you. 

    Josh: A dog? Be calming down. But I love you too, and I’m grateful you’re in my corner. I don’t know how I’d do this life thing without you. You and my babe are the only ones I’d actually get in a fight for. Everyone else O.Y.O is their case. 

  • The Top Trending Nigerian Songs of 2022

    2022 might’ve come and gone, but the music we got that year was premium vibes. From Asake’s arrival and eventual takeover to Pheelz’s turn from hit producer to hit singer, the music scene was on fire. These were the 15 songs Nigerians rinsed the most, according to TurnTable Charts. 

    1. Buga (Lo Lo Lo) — Kizz Daniel

    Kizz Daniel created an anthem for Nigerian mummies and aunties worldwide. Buga (Lo Lo Lo) was the one song that united Nigerians across generations. This jam was like crack in music form, so it makes sense that it’s the biggest song of 2022. 

    Songwriters: Yung Willis and Anidugbe Oluwatobiloba

    Produced by: Reward Beatz and Blaise Beatz

    2. Bandana — Fireboy DML featuring Asake 

    Fireboy has been on a roll since his 2018 debut single Jealous became a national anthem. Recognising another baby legend in the making in his label mate, Fireboy brought Asake on board for Bandana, the unforgettable second single off his 2022 Playboy album. 

    Songwriters: Adedamola Adefolahan 

    Produced by: P.Prime

    3. Overloading (OVERDOSE) — Mavin All Stars

    With huge shoes to fill following the successes of Mavin bangers like Dorobucci, Adaobi and Looku Looku, the new school of Don Jazzy’s post-Mo’Hits project came in guns blazing on their 2022 joint effort, Overloading (OVERDOSE). Featuring standout performances from Ayra Starr, Boy Spyce and Crayon, the song proved that Don Jazzy’s pension is in safe hands. 

    Songwriters: Alexander Adewunmi Adelabu, Charles Chibueze Chukwu, Ladipo Eso, Oluwadamilare Aderibigbe, Oyinkansola Sarah Aderibigbe, Prince Omoferi, Treasure Apiafi Banigo and Ugbekile David Osemeke 

    Produced by: Don Jazzy 

    4. Sungba Remix — Asake featuring Burna Boy 

    We’ve already offered reasons why Asake’s Sungba is one of the greatest songs ever. But why settle for having a song that’s a GOAT when you could feature a GOAT on its remix? Well, that’s what Asake asked himself when he called on Burna Boy to deliver one of his best verses ever on the remix of Sungba. We’ll always remember life in two parts: life before the Sungba remix dropped and life after Burna Boy sang, “Tell me what you see when you look at me?” 

    Songwriters: Ahmed Olalade Asake and Damini Ebunoluwa Ogulu 

    Produced by: Magicsticks

    5. Calm Down Remix — Rema featuring Selena Gomez

    We’ve only ever had two Nigerian artistes crack the top 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart: Wizkid with Essence and One Dance, and Tems with WAIT FOR U and Essence. But with the remix of Calm Down, Rema officially joined this elite list. While we initially had doubts about this remix, months and months of hearing it everywhere has made us forget that an original even existed, and that’s how you know a remix actually works. 

    Songwriters: Alexandre Uwaifo, Divine Ikubor, Amanda Ibanez, Michael Hunter and Selena Gomez

    Produced by: Andre Vibez and London

    6. Peace Be Unto You — Asake 

    Dropping Peace Be Unto You after a string of hits with Omo Ope, Sungba and Palazzo, Asake stepped into the musical ring with the confidence and badassery of Adonis Creed himself. With this song which samples the viral “E dey carry me where I no know” clip, Asake reminded everyone that even though he was finally having his moment in 2022, he’d been around for a long time, and his reign was inevitable — “I just blow, but omo, I know myself.” 

    Songwriters: Ahmed Olalade Asake 

    Produced by: Magicsticks

    7. Last Last — Burna Boy 

    Chopping breakfast might be sad, but who says you can’t turn your pain into a massive hit? At least, that’s what Burna Boy did with his biggest song yet since Ye. Throwing a Toni Braxton sample into the mix, Last Last became the unofficial song of summer 2022, solidifying Burna Boy’s position as a leader in the exportation of new school afrobeats. 

    Songwriters: Damini Ebunoluwa Ogulu, Fred Jerkins III, Harvey Mason Jr, James Malcolm Olagundoye, LaShawn Daniels, Mikael Haataja, Robert Laukkanen, Rodney Jerkins, Samuel Haatja and Santeri Kauppinen. 

    Produced by: Chopstix, Mds, Off & Out and Ruuben. 

    RECOMMENDED: Grab Your Tissues Because Nigerian Music Is in Its Sad Boy Era

    8. Baddest Boy Remix — Skiibii featuring Davido

    “She go chop Nigerian koboko, straight from Magodo.” We all know what “koboko” means in this context, but why is it from Magodo? We still need the association of Magodo residents to explain how and why their kobokos entered the mix. Still, there’s no denying the Davido effect on the remix to this 2022 party starter. 

    Songwriters: Davido and Skiibii

    Produced by: Runcheck

    9. Peru Remix — Fireboy DML featuring Ed Sheeran 

    When Fireboy DML announced Ed Sheeran would be on the remix of his hit song, Peru, many people were shocked, but not us. While the collaboration sounded a bit off on paper, true Fireboy stans could’ve seen this from a mile away. Apart from being resident musical lover boys, Need You, the opening track to Fireboy’s 2019 album, Laughter, Tears & Goosebumps, sounds exactly like Ed Sheeran’s 2014 Tenerife Sea. This collaboration was a match made in musical heaven from the very start. 

    Songwriters: Ed Sheeran, Fireboy DML, Ivory Scott, Klton and Shizzi

    Produced by: Shizzi and Kolten Sippiboy Perine 

    10. Omo Ope Remix — Asake featuring Olamide

    Arguably one of the biggest songs of 2022, Asake came out of nowhere and turned 2022 on its head with his smash hit, Omo Ope. Featuring the hardest working Nigerian rapper, Olamide, it was hard not to fall in love with this song, especially when those backup vocals kick-in with “Mo saare f’owo mi sh’aye”. 

    Songwriters: Ahmed Olalade Asake and  Olamide Adedeji

    Produced by: Magicsticks

    11. Terminator — Asake 

    Is Terminator the greatest Nigerian love song of all time? Maybe. Asake was deep in his lover boy bag when he made this banger about finding someone and holding on to the romantic contract they’d signed. That’s the type of love we’re looking for on these single-pringle streets. 

    Songwriters: Ahmed Olalade Asake and Olamide Adedeji

    Produced by: Magicsticks

    12. PALAZZO — DJ Spinall featuring Asake 

    Hopping on the never-ending DJ Spinall train of collaborations, Asake delivered what could only be described as part club hit, part church thanksgiving anthem. Palazzo came right after the Sungba remix with Burna Boy, setting the stage for the singer’s epic year of back-to-back hits. 

    Songwriters: Ahmed Olalade Asake and Olamide Adedeji

    Produced by: Spinall and Magicsticks

    13. Don’t Call — Lil Kesh featuring Zinoleesky 

    Remember when Lil Kesh had us all in a shoki-hold back in the day? This guy was the reason Olamide banned Don Jazzy from the mainland, and then, he just disappeared for a while. Lil Kesh finally made a splashy return to the scene with the Zinoleesky-assisted, Don’t Call Me, and God knows we rinsed this song like there was no tomorrow. We all love a good comeback story. 

    Songwriters: Lil Kesh and Zinleesky

    14. For My Hand — Burna Boy featuring Ed Sheeran 

    It’s safe to assume that a Burna Boy and Ed Sheeran song will always slap. Teaming up again after they carried Stormzy’s 2019 Own It on their backs, For My Hand is further proof that their chemistry is as potent as ever. 

    Songwriters: Damini Ogulu, Ed Sheeran and Richard Isong

    Produced by: P2J

    15. Finesse — Pheelz featuring BNXN 

    We’ve begged Nigerian musicians to leave Folake alone, but they’ve clearly put cement in their ears because Pheelz and BNXN continued the train with Finesse. And honestly, we were not mad at it. This song reminded us it’s okay to be broke. As a matter of fact, it encouraged us to own our lack of funds with our chests. 

    If you thought this song was a banger, wait until you listen to the live version with this sick backup choir. 

    Songwriters: Daniel Benson, Ishola Owolabi Michael and Phillip Kayode Moses 

    Produced by: Pheelz

    ALSO READ: 15 Nigerian Pop Culture Moments That Got Us Through the Shege of 2022

  • The Greatest Nollywood Films According to ChatGPT, Ranked

    As someone who’s seen iRobot, Westworld and that Transformer-esque film with Osas Ighodaro, Ratnik, I’d like to announce with my full chest that I don’t trust Artificial Intelligence. Sure, it’s cute to hear an AI version of Drake singing Sungba, but what happens when they take over everything and enslave humans? 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Maybe I’m exaggerating. But before any of that happens, I asked ChatGPT — the Beyonce of AI — for its top ten Nollywood movies of all time. While the list looks good, I don’t quite agree with everything. 

    Let’s get into this ranking. 

    10. 76 

    Rita Dominic giving the performance of a lifetime in an afro wig, Chidi Mokeme and Ramsey Nouah competing for “who looks sexier while under duress” and tons of wide-legged trousers — what’s not to love about Izu Ojukwu’s 76? This film works well because of its perfect casting, set design and costumes that’ll make you feel like you’ve stepped into one of your grandparents’ pictures from the 1970s. 

    My ranking: 5

    9. The CEO 

    Despite a star-studded cast of Angélique Kidjo, Wale Ojo, Jimmy Jean-Louis and a cameo from AG Baby himself, nothing could stop Kunle Afolayan’s corporate crime thriller, The CEO from being a bore. How do you have all the right actors and a killer premise and still fail to excite an audience? The CEO isn’t one of Nollywood’s best films. Hell, it’s not even one of Kunle Afolayan’s best films. 

    My ranking: 10 

    8. Half of a Yellow Sun 

    Finding a movie adaptation of a book that actually does its source subject justice is hard, and unfortunately, Half of a Yellow Sun isn’t one of them. While the book cemented Chimamanda Adichie’s name as one of the best storytellers of our time, the film adaptation of Olanna and Odenigbo’s love story set against the backdrop of the Biafran War doesn’t quite translate the tension and heart of the book on screen. Half of a Yellow Sun, the movie, would’ve been great if we didn’t already have something to compare it to, but we do, and that’s the problem. 

    My ranking: 8. It’s right where it’s supposed to be. 

    7. The Wedding Party 

    Films like A Sunday Affair, Your Excellency and Chief Daddy may have tainted EbonyLife’s image, but let’s not forget the time they captured lightning in a bottle with The Wedding Party. This ensemble comedy kickstarted the “ensembles at a wedding or funeral” trope in Nollywood. The Wedding Party made Adesua Etomi a superstar, reminded us of Sola Sobowale’s greatness, showed us that RMD had officially entered zaddy status and warned us about all that could go wrong if amala finishes at a Yoruba wedding. Kemi Adetiba, the woman that you are. 

    My ranking: 7

    RECOMMENDED: 7 Nollywood Ensemble Films that Didn’t Give Us Headaches

    6. Lionheart 

    Genevieve is mother, and that’s on period. After years of giving us iconic performances, the actress pivoted to directing with 2018’s Lionheart and slayed again because why not? 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    The best thing about Genevieve’s Lionheart is how it holds your attention with a simple and familiar story about family. Relying on beautiful shots of Enugu, the acting skills of legends, Genevieve’s killer wardrobe and a cringe singing scene between Peter Okoye and its director, Lionheart has earned this ChatGPT-given spot as one of Nollywood’s best films to date.

    My ranking: 3 

    5. October 1

    Kunle Afolyan’s October 1 is ambitious AF. From getting real-life Peugeots from the 1950s to casting the incredible Sadiq Daba as the lead, Kunle Afolayan pulled all the stops on this psychological thriller. Although the big reveal at the end falls flat because almost everyone can spot the serial killer from the start, October 1 is still an enjoyable ride, proving that Kunle Afolyan thrives best when helping his audience solve a mystery. 

    My ranking: 6

    4. The Figurine 

    The Figurine is hands down one of my favourite Nollywood films of all time. Kunle Afolayan’s twisted, haunting tale delivers the most unexpected twist in its third act, leaving you at the edge of your seat screaming, “WTF?” Ramsey Nouah, the underrated Funlola Aofiyebi-Raimi, Omoni Oboli and Kunle himself gave a masterclass in acting. If aliens ever came to earth and asked to see a Nollywood film, best believe this is the film I’ll be showing them. 

    My ranking: 2

    3. Ije 

    Chineze Anyaene’s Ije didn’t reunite Omotola Jalade Ekeinde and Genevieve Nnaji on screen for the fourth time, or use Asa’s Awe in its trailer, for ChatGPT not to include it on its list of the most iconic Nollywood films of all time. But while Ije is a beautifully shot and acted movie, giving it the third spot is a reach, dear. Not even the intense acting between two titans could elevate a mid script. 

    My ranking: 9

    2. Osuofia in London 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8ID3gAcMMQ

    Maybe it’s nostalgia for when Nollywood comedies were funny without being forced or watching a Nollywood film shot abroad was a novelty. But something about my memories of Osuofia in London makes me incredibly happy. This film was so big back then, everyone practically aired Nkem Owoh’s real name and started calling him Osuofia. I heard a remake is in the works; honestly, they can keep it. I know I’ll prefer the original. 

    My ranking: 4

    1. Living in Bondage 

    I know I said I couldn’t trust any AI, but it looks like ChatGPT snapped with their choice for the number one film. Nostalgia aside, the 1992 original is one of the best Nollywood movies ever. 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    From an original story that started Nollywood’s obsession with money rituals to its unforgettable lead characters, Andy and Merit, Living in Bondage was chaotic but iconic. It’s hard to talk about Nollywood without talking about the film that started it all, and Living in Bondage will always be THAT GIRL. 

    My ranking: 1


    ALSO READ: Nollywood Needs to Go Back to Making Films About Juju

  • 20 of the Best, Mid and Worst Looks From the 2023 MET Gala 

    Nothing screams high fashion on a global scale like the MET Gala. Hosted by Vogue Magazine editor-in-chief, Anna Wintour (AKA the real-life version of Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada), the MET Gala brings together the biggest stars on the planet for some music, finger food, and of course, fashion. 

    With this MET Gala 2023 honouring the late Chanel head designer, Karl Lagerfeld, stars like Rihanna, Tems, Doja Cat and Viola Davis all showed up in designed or inspired outfits by the late fashion icon. 

    These were some of the night’s most memorable looks, good and bad. 

    Rihanna 

    Source: Getty Images

    Let’s kick things off with the queen of the MET, Miss Robyn Rihanna Fenty. This woman made me stay up till 2 a.m. WAT, waiting for her to show up on that damn carpet. But was it worth it? Yes, it absolutely was. This Valentino look gave me life. Our makeup sis knows this fashion thing, and no one is seeing the hem of her dress. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Lil Nas X 

    Source: Getty Images

    Lil Nas X’s dependence on the shock factor was cute when it started, but now it’s plain tired, and we’re over it. Tell me this man doesn’t look like one of those Nollywood demons that haunt Tony Umez or Kanayo O. Kanayo after they use their wives and children for blood money. You see it, too, right? 

    Verdict: Worst Dressed

    Tems 

    Source: Getty Images

    Temilade Openiyi, the woman that you are. Thank you for not embarrassing us on a global platform like the MET Gala. The hat and gloves with the feather details, and the bottom half of the dress clearly reference vintage Chanel. Tems and her stylist, Dunsin Wright, are a match made in fashion heaven. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed

    Ice Spice 

    Source: Getty Images

    Like Tyra Banks once said: 

    Source: Giphy

    Ice Spice pulling up to the MET in a longer version of what the girlies wear to Quilox on a Friday night in Lagos is not the serve I expected from hood Princess Diana. If she thought people would feel this dress, then I’m sorry to say, she’s the munch here. 

    Verdict: Worst Dressed

    Michaela Coel 

    Source: Getty Images

    One word, “iconic”. You know what? One more word, “mother”. This dress is so stunning I had to clutch my imaginary Chanel pearls when Michaela showed up on the carpet. While I wouldn’t have immediately thought of cornrows (AKA “all back”, to all my Nigerian secondary school girlies) with this dress, Michaela slays this look so hard it’d be a crime to find any fault. By the way, can we get into that face? Sheesh. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Letitia Wright 

    Source: Getty Images

    The strength of this blek pentha has definitely been stripped away. I love me some Letitia Wright, but this Pentecostal youth pastor look is not for the MET Gala. It’s giving Covenant University graduation fashion, and like M’baku said in Black Panther: 

    Source: Giphy

    Verdict: Worst Dressed 

    Anok Yai 

    Source: Getty Images

    I don’t want to say much when it comes to Anok Yai’s consistent slayage of the MET Gala red carpet. Instead, I leave you with this message from philosopher and life coach, Tiffany Pollard: 

    Source: Giphy

    Verdict: Best Dressed

    Viola Davis 

    Source: Getty Images

    Viola Davis is a queen, and that’s on Annalise and her bottle of vodka. But you want to know what’s not queenly at all? This look. Viola’s love for bright colours has always been one of my favourite things about her red carpet style. And while this pink looks stunning on her, the feathers on this dress do nothing for her look. Maybe it would’ve been better if the feathers were smaller. Mrs V is an icon, but even Bobrisky pulled this look off better than she did. 

    Source: Instagram/Bobrisky22

    Doja Cat 

    Source: Getty Images

    Doja Cat showing up as Karl Lagerfeld’s cat and meowing her way through all her interviews is my definition of camp. You have to admire Doja for always committing to a look (her fingernails were designed to look like claws), no matter how unhinged it sounds on paper. Plus, this dress is a beauty, cat or no cat. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Lizzo 

    Source: Getty Images

    Lizzo is always a mood, but this black dress with pearl detailing is not a serve. It looks like something we’d see on the AMVCA red carpet, and that’s not a compliment if I’m keeping it one hundred. 

    Verdict: Worst Dressed

    RECOMMENDED: 9 Iconic Tiannah Styling Looks and Where You Can Wear Them To

    Halle Bailey 

    Source: Getty Images

    What we’d give to be part of Halle Bailey’s world. Our Ariel is a vision in this dress, giving old Hollywood glamour but in melanin and natural beauty. Major props to her hair stylist because I don’t know what jazz they use to transform her dreadlocks into something new every time she steps out. You can’t convince me that she and Chloe’s hair styling is done by a mere mortal. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed

    Asap Rocky 

    Source: Getty Images

    Maybe it’s beef that he’s with my wife. Or perhaps, it’s beef that he put her in the family way AGAIN, and now, we don’t know when R9 is dropping. Either way, Rakim Mayers, it’s on sight whenever we jam. On sight, bro. 

    Verdict: He shouldn’t be on the worst dressed list, but I have bad belle.

    Cardi B 

    Source: Getty Images

    None of the other rap girls are seeing Cardi B when it comes to fashion. None of them. Cardi served four looks last night, but this Thom Browne number is my favourite. She looks like a character out of a Tim Burton fantasy film, and I’m gagging. I love a woman who likes to have fun with her looks, and it’s clear Cardi is having the time of her life as a fashion “it” girl. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Yara Shahidi 

    Source: Getty Images

    For someone who has the potential to be a fashion baby girl, Yara Shahidi has refused to give us the serve we deserve. This look isn’t bad, but knowing the potential for greatness both Yara Shahidi and her stylist Jason Bolden have, it doesn’t work for me at all. 

    Verdict: Worst Dressed 

    Brian Tyree Henry 

    Source: Getty Images

    Finally, a man who didn’t show up to the red carpet in a boring suit. Brian Tyree Henry pulling up looking like a monarch who colonises continents over tea and crumpets is a serve I wasn’t expecting at the MET Gala. I’m always here for men playing with proportions and taking risks. This will probably go down as one of the most iconic looks from any man to ever walk the MET steps. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed

    Skepta 

    Source: Getty Images

    Skepta, what is this blanket you have on? This looks like something a Chelsea FC stan would wear for a match, and I won’t stand for it. The annoying part is the suit on its own might’ve been a hit. 

    Verdict: Confused

    Keke Palmer

    Source: Getty Images

    Baby, this is Keke Palmer, AKA True Jackson VP, one of Hollywood’s funniest women. Keke hasn’t taken her foot off our necks since she had her baby. We can all see how much she loves her post-baby body. Like the Gen Z babies would say, “She’s taking it”. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Idris and Sabrina Elba

    Source: Getty Images

    Sabrina’s decision to stick with her man through COVID and bad fashion choices should be applauded. This is a woman who takes the “In sickness and in health” part of her vows seriously. Their look wasn’t the worst on the red carpet; it was just boring. Give us something, guys. 

    Verdict: Mid

    Teyana Taylor 

    Source: Getty Images

    Is it a Teyana Taylor look if we’re not reminded that this woman’s six-pack can be used to grind pepper? This look is sickening, and now, I can’t help but wonder why I’m not in the gym. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Mary J Blige

    Source: Getty Images

    Mary J Blige’s dress would’ve worked better for the BET or MTV VMAs. But I have to give it to my fave for staying consistent with her thigh-high boots. The MET said, “Karl Lagerfeld”, but Mary heard, “Let’s take it to the dancery”.

    Verdict: Okay 

    ALSO READ: Ranking Nollywood Bridgerton Looks from “God, Abeg” to “I Burn For You”

  • 11 Ways You Can Make New Friends As a 30+ Nigerian Man

    Let’s not even cap; making friends as a grown man is hard. Between Nigeria’s wahala, capitalism struggles, and societal rules about how we should interact, Nigerian men of a certain age struggle to make meaningful friendships. 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    If you’re at the stage where you are looking to try anything to make new friends, then, sir, this article is for you. 

    Open a barbing salon 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    If you want something, you need to invest in it — even if that investment is a barbing salon at your junction. Barbing salons are safe havens for men to vent, let loose, and have some time away from the world. While it might seem like an over-the-top move to land friends, opening a barbing salon will introduce you to a wide range of men from all walks of life. You could literally hold a friend audition, and they wouldn’t even know. 

    Go back to school 

    Source: Netflix Naija

    Most men who talk about their oldest friendships often refer to the friends they made in secondary school or university. If the cast of Far From Home could “convince” us they were secondary school students, then look, you can do it too. But if going back to secondary school sounds crazy, there’s nothing wrong with going back to university to get a new degree and make new friends. Nothing builds friendships faster than a mutual fear of carryovers. 

    Stop calling every guy “Oga” or “Boss” and take time to know their names

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Bruh. The number of “Oga”, “Chief”, and “Boss” you hear when men hang out around each other is wild. It’s like, “Do any of you have real names?” If you want to build a real connection with another man, you need to know the basics, like their actual name. If you left Nigerian men, they’d “Oga” each other to the grave. 

    Shoot friendship shots on social media 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Desmond thought Collins was cool and shot a friendship shot on Instagram. Please, what’s stopping you from doing the same thing? Shame? Pride? Chelsea, come on now. If you’re willing to work to get someone’s attention on social media for knacks or a romantic relationship, what’s stopping you from putting the same level of effort into making male friends? Granted, a few guys might find it weird at first, but real guys will appreciate it. Just make sure you’re not being extra by liking their pictures from 2014. 

    FYI, LinkedIn is a social media platform too *wink wink* 

    Become more active in the church or mosque

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    A God-fearing partner is not the only person you can find in your place of worship. What happened to a God-fearing friend? What does it profit a man to have a godly relationship, but a friendship built on sin? Okay, maybe don’t answer that. You sha get the gist. 

    RECOMMENDED: You’re Secretly a 40+ Man If You Spend Your Weekend Doing These Things

    Become a gym bro

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    The gym can be very intimidating, but when you really think about it, that space is also one of the best places to make a new friend. Even though everyone seems to be on a mission to outdo the next person in the gym, a certain level of vulnerability comes with the effort to be better at something regardless of how many kgs you’re lifting. Tap into that vulnerability. No one is asking you to become the annoying guy who won’t shut up in the gym, but try smiling or saying “hi” to other guys there once in a while. Who knows, you might move from gym bros to actual bros. 

    Date women who have cool brothers who don’t want to beat you up 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Why kill one bird or relationship with one stone when you could easily kill two with one stone? Meeting a cute girl who rocks your world is great, but things get ten times better when this girl has a brother who could become your soulmate. Even if the romantic relationship fails, no rule says you can’t be best friends with your ex’s brother. If she really loved you, then she’d be happy for you. 

    Argue about Messi or Wizkid in social gatherings

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    The moment you hear Nigerian men arguing, and they start throwing the word “goat” around while mentioning “Wizkid” or “Messi”, then, sir, it’s time to pull up a chair and join that argument. There’s a high chance you’ll get insulted during the argument, but there’s also a high chance you’ll make a new friend regardless of which side of the argument you stack your chips on. 

    Join dating apps 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    If there’s anything we learnt from Edem and Chide’s My Bro story, it’s that men can become best friends with men they’ve hooked up with. It doesn’t always work, especially if you’re as straight as a ruler, but taking the lover-to-best-friend route isn’t that bad when it comes to friendship. To make this work, you must open your mind beyond sexual attraction and get to know the people you’re chatting with. It’s giving from guts to guys. 

    Read Zikoko My Bro and steal our subjects’ best friends

    If you can’t find a best friend of your own, who says you can’t go around stealing other people’s best friends? Thankfully, Zikoko My Bro has many options you can select from. All you have to do is read their story, choose the best friend you want to steal and then get ready to throw hands with their current best friend. Nothing good comes for free. 

    Become your own best friend 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    I know everyone says this all the time, but who knows you better than you? To be the best friend you could possibly be to anyone else, you need to become your own best friend and show up for yourself. This is the friendship version of the corny, “No one’s going to love you if you don’t love yourself”, shit they say in romcoms. Love yourself, bro. 

    ALSO READ: The Best Places to Find the Perfect Nigerian Wife

  • How to Not Get a 6 Pack, According to a Gym Bro Who’s Tried It All

    Every list about how to get a six-pack focuses on what to do and nothing about what we shouldn’t do. Like, should I drink hot water and lemon after a workout? Or do I anoint my stomach with Goya il to dissolve my belly fat? This article gives you the whole gist of the unhinged things you do that do nothing for your imaginary six-pack.  

    Rubbing anointing oil on your stomach 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Please stop wasting anointing oil on the impossible. You have better chances pouring that oil from Shiloh on INEC BVAs, because all you’d do is make your stomach glow, not reduce it. 

    Drinking green or flat tummy tea five times a day 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    One of the biggest fitness scams of all time is the rise of flat tummy teas. Honestly, I blame the Kardashians. While green tea has been proven to help with digestion, there’s no proof in heaven or on earth that downing green or flat tummy teas will burn fat and give you a six-pack that’ll make The Rock jealous. Know this and know peace. 

    Saying words of affirmation in front of the mirror in the morning 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Words of affirmations are great for building self-confidence, not a six-pack. If you like, stand in front of a mirror from now till tomorrow, those words will bounce on your stomach and say, “Back to sender, dear.” 

    Wearing waist trainers from morning to night 

    Source: Facebook

    Yes, we know your favourite Big Brother alumni have told you that wearing a waist trainer is a magical belly shrinker. 

    Source: Instagram/WhiteMoney

    But please, and please, remember that these people are just trying to secure the bag, so they’d tell you puff puff is a fat burner if the check is big enough. Do you actually believe this waist trainer thing is working for Whitemoney? 

    Kneading your stomach with a rolling pin 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Unless you intend to pour baking powder on your stomach and fry it like chinchin, this ridiculous idea is a complete waste of your time. Who even thought of this and tried it for the first time? Wild and very, very wrong.

    RECOMMENDED: Pros and Cons of Being a Nigerian Gym Bro

    Fornicating with your personal trainer 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    We all know fornication is sweet cardio. But, sis, no amount of fornication will give you a six-pack. Fornicate with your chest and enjoy it. There’s no need to come and cap about how you’re doing it to lose weight. 

    Tattooing 6 packs on your stomach 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Might as well just tattoo dollars on your body and wait for it to magically appear since you’re now Harry Potter or something like that. 

    Drinking hot water and lemon to melt your stomach fat 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    I’ve been doing this one since secondary school, and still, nothing. I’m not saying warm lemon water is a bad thing. But please, be guided and know it’s also not some magical potion from the babalawo down the street. 

    ALSO READ: All the Ways to Lose Weight Without Going to the Gym

  • We Checked and These Are the 12 Most Stylish Men in Nigeria Right Now

    There’s something incredibly attractive about a man who knows how to put a look together. While we’ve dragged AMVCA and low-budget Bridgerton looks in the past, today, we’d like to hand out flowers to ten Nigerian men who constantly give us hope when it comes to fashion. 

    Source: Twitter

    No, not him. 

    Here are our picks for the most stylish male stars in Nigeria right now

    Ladipoe

    Source: Instagram/Ladipoe

    Yes, we all know Ladipoe’s bars have made him a rap icon, but can we, as a community, also get into his looks? The Mavin star has consistently served us fashion moments, from his music videos to the Grammy red carpet. The most exciting part of Ladipoe’s style is his decision to never show up in a boring suit. From leather pieces from Maxivive to denim fits from TJ Who, Ladipoe is definitely a man with great taste. 

    Ebuka Obi-Uchendu

    Source:Instagram/Ebuka

    It’s hard to see a Best Dressed list that doesn’t have Ebuka Obi-Uchendu. From red carpet events to that infamous agbada from Banky W and Adesua’s wedding, Ebuka never disappoints, even on his off days. 

    Adekunle Gold 

    Source: Instagram/AdekunleGold 

    Remember when Adekunle Gold’s style was very cool, choir lead singer chic? No other style transformation in the entertainment industry has been able to top his evolution into AG Baby. The Party No Dey Stop singer successfully ditched the fade for some braids and switched out his basic T-shirts for colourful statement pieces from brands like Orange Culture and Kemakolam. We’re here for the new, more adventurous Adekunle. 

    Ebuka Nwobu 

    Source: Instagram/KingEbuka

    Ebuka Nwobu may spend a lot of time behind the scenes creating killer music videos for style stars like Tems, Ckay and Cruel Santino. But don’t get it twisted; this producer is a fashion baby boy all on his own. Ebuka has that “I just rolled out of bed and threw this on” style that can be deceptive to the point where you think it’s easy to pull it off. But the truth is, looks like these are often the hardest to execute. The crazy part is, just like Rihanna, there’s a high chance he probably just rolled out of bed in this fit for real. 

    Asake 

    Source: Instagram/AsakeMusic

    Ololade mi might be music’s biggest breakout from 2022, but like we said last year, the singer is also a breakout style star in our books. While it has taken several artistes in the game years to figure out their style and push the fashion envelope, Asake has done that and more in just a year. Oversized suits, bright colours, skirts repurposed as shirts and those baggy denim pants from the Joha teaser; is there any look Asake hasn’t pulled off yet? 

    Denola Grey

    Source: Instagram/DenolaGrey

    Love it or hate it, the truth is Denola Grey has changed the Nigerian fashion scene and raised the bar for how men show on the red carpet. Before his arrival, the most we could get from male celebrities were burgundy blazers and floral suits. However, in the years that have followed Denola’s entry into the entertainment scene, we’ve watched other men attempt to step outside of the rule book of conventional men’s fashion. Denola’s spot on this list is as much about his style as it is about the influence it has had on other men on this list. 

    RECOMMENDED: How to Dress Like a Sabi Girl, According to Ayra Starr’s Stylist

    Rema 

    Source: Instagram/HeIsRema 

    Gen Zs in the building, stand up! Rema’s y2k style has made him one of the most exciting stars of the moment. Never taking himself too seriously, Rema’s looks are as fun and sometimes as chaotic as the man behind them. 

    Mai Atafo 

    Source: Instagram/MaiAtafo

    Mai Atafo embodies the classic man Jidenna sang of in 2015. The designer is known for putting men like Denola Grey and Ebuka Obi-Uchendu in some of the coolest suits we’ve seen, so it makes sense that his closet is filled with looks that’d make both James Bond and Christian Grey jealous AF. Let’s not even get into his best accessories: those glasses and his salt-and-pepper beard. 

    Wizkid 

    Source: The Guardian

    Just like his music, Wizkid’s style is very stress-free. The Essence singer is known to focus more on what the TikTok girls call “quiet luxury”. So instead of throwing on a waistcoat, jacket and 50 Cuban links, Wizkid will most likely pull up in a monochromatic sweater, trousers and sunglasses that cost exactly the same thing but with none of the heat or heaviness involved. While most musicians dress like they just came into funds, Wizkid dresses like a black character on Succession would dress — he’s the rich uncle with old money. 

    Adebayo Oke Lawal 

    Source: Instagram/TheOrangeNerd

    Not a lot of men can boast of evolving with the times while simultaneously maintaining a sense of style that is distinctively theirs. Taking fashion risks and being unapologetically experimental with his looks, Adebayo Oke Lawal of Orange Culture is way ahead of the curve; most of the outfits he wears don’t make sense now. But guess what? There’s a high chance you’ll be trying out one of his looks this time next year. If that isn’t an icon move, I don’t know what is. 

    Burna Boy 

    Source: Instagram/BurnaBoyGram

    We all know Burna Boy is a risk taker when it comes to his music — which other Nigerian act would think of sampling Toni Braxton or featuring Lily Allen? But we believe it’s time the African Giant gets some well-deserved flowers for his risky fashion choices. It doesn’t matter whether he’s making history on a stage at Madison Square Garden or posing for a magazine cover, Burna and his stylist/sister Ronami Ogulu consistently balance a healthy mix of hip-hop-influenced street style with interesting proportions from some of the biggest names in fashion. 

    Wale Lawal 

    Source: Instagram/WalleLawal

    Wale Lawal’s style’s ease and simplicity make us think he’s on a permanent holiday or chilling in the South of France while attending Sofia Richie’s wedding. The writer’s clean-cut blazers, adire fits, and signature hat are almost as famous as his work at The Republic. Wale is the ultimate minimalist style star who understands the importance of building a distinct look around fashion items that’ll remain relevant 20 years from now. 

    ALSO READ: Nigerian Fashion Is in Its Ashawo Era and We’re Here For It

  • The Craziest Never Have I Ever Questions You’ve Probably Never Thought Of

    Have you ever been to a game night and ended up bored out of your mind with the games they were playing — especially when they’re not daring people to remove 15 articles of clothing? Then you haven’t tried the Zikoko Never Have I Ever Guide. 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    How to play Never Have I Ever

    Never Have I Ever is one of the most chaotic games in existence, as long as you do it right. 

    For the alcohol lovers in the building: Each player will take turns mentioning an experience or activity they’ve never done and whoever’s done these things has to take a shot or a sip of whatever they’re drinking (extra points if the drink tastes like petrol). If no one has done that thing, then the person who mentioned it has to take a drink. The winner of the game is the person who takes the least amount of drinks. 

    For sparkling wine lovers: Instead of using alcohol, every participant holds up their 10 fingers and takes one finger down for each thing they’ve done on the list of “Never Have I Ever” questions. The person with the last finger wins. 

    To make the game more fun, make sure people who’ve done the most insane activities spill the tea about how it went down.  

    Here are some Never Have I Ever questions to get you started: 

    Never Have I Ever: Relationship and Sex Edition 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    1. Never have I ever had my wig fall off during intense fornication

    2. Never have I ever been served breakfast by someone I wasn’t even in a relationship with 

    3. Never have I ever faked moaned during phone sex

    4. Never have I ever slept with someone I know my friend likes 

    5. Never have I ever pretended to be cool with my friend’s partner after I told them to break up with the person 

    6. Never have I ever fantasised about a dead (hot, but dead) person during fornication 

    7. Never have I pretended not to know how an equipment works in gym just so I could get my crush’s attention

    8. Never have I ever prayed for someone’s relationship to scatter so I could shoot my shot 

    9. Never have I ever measured my penis with a tape rule 

    10. Never have I ever pretended to like an artistes, TV show, movie or song because I wanted someone to like me 

    RECOMMENDED: TV Shows We Watched to Impress Our Crush — 7 Nigerians Confess

    Never Have I Ever: Unhinged Naija Edition 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    1. Never have I ever pretended not to like amala or semo for clout 

    2. Never have I ever missed my bus stop because I was too scared or shy to shout “O wa” 

    3. Never have I bought a new flight ticket to avoid hearing my parents say “I told you so” after I miss my flight

    4. Never have I ever watched porn with my Nigerian parent 

    5. Never have I ever said “God forbid” after singing a song lyric that involves death 

    6. Never have I been involved in one of those Wizkid vs. Davido arguments 

    7. Never have I ever called someone “Oga” or “Boss” 50 times because I couldn’t remember their real name

    8. Never have I ever lied so I could jump the queue at at ATM 

    9. Never have I ever pressed the close button on an elevator even though I saw someone else coming

    10. Never have I ever sang the wrong lyrics for the “Where the fishes drown or even die of thirst” part of the super story theme song

    RECOMMENDED: Wale Adenuga Would Be Proud of This Super Story Ranking

    Never Have I Ever: Chaotic Office Edition 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    1. Never have I ever taken a virtual meeting while taking a shit

    2. Never have I ever lied about being proficient in something I wasn’t proficient in on my CV 

    3. Never have I eaten spoilt food just so I could get sick and avoid work

    4. Never have I lied about network being the reason I couldn’t turn on my camera during a virtual meeting 

    5. Never have I ever dodged a co-worker in public outside of work 

    6. Never have I ever fornicated with a co-worker and then pretended not to know them at work the next day

    7. Never have I pooped in the office toilet only for the poop not to flush completely

    8. Never have I pretended to have a terminal illness just so I could resign from my job? 

    9. Never have I ever claimed to be able to work well under pressure in a job interview, knowing fully well that it’s a detty lie. 

    10. Never have I ever opened Microsoft Word to type rubbish just so my co-workers and boss think I’m busy. 

    RECOMMENDED: 11 Alternative Questions Recruiters Should Ask During Interviews

    Never Have I Ever: Social Media Edition 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    1. Never have I ever blocked someone and lied that my phone was stolen 

    2. Never have I ever cheated on a Zikoko quiz 

    3. Never have I ever posted a diet on social media knowing fully well that I was going to eat swallow and egusi that day

    4. Never have I pretended not to know someone I follow on social media just so they could greet me first 

    5. Never have I ever followed my partner’s ex on social media with a burner account

    6. Never have I ever spread or laughed at the rumour that Zikoko writers are on crack 

    7. Never have I ever rewatched all my stories on Instagram or snaps after realising someone I liked just watched them 

    8. Never have I ever sent an “I’m in your city” message to a social media mutual with the intention of removing their pant 

    9. Never have I ever googled myself 

    10. Never have I ever googled “Never have I ever” questions for a game night 

    ALSO READ: We Tried 12 TikTok Hacks and Ranked Them From “God Forbid” to “Underrated Gem”

  • My Best Friend Is Young Enough to be My Son — Sadiq and Tobi
    My Bro is a biweekly Zikoko series that interrogates and celebrates male friendships of different forms.

    Tobi and Sadiq first met in 2001 but only became friends after an event changed their lives in 2020. In this episode of #ZikokoMyBro, the two talk about how they navigate their complicated 14-year age difference and the feeling of abandonment that comes with saying goodbye when someone you love japas. 

    Let’s take a trip down memory lane with your origin story

    Tobi: I can confidently say I’ve known this one since he was a baby because I met him when he was four. This was 2001, and I was roommates in university with Umar, his brother, so I’d come over to their place when I met “Junior”. 

    Sadiq: Bro, why would you tell everyone that? No one calls me Junior again. 

    Tobi: Does your dad know this? Because—

    Anyway, I don’t think he even remembers that day. Do you? 

    Sadiq: I was four, of course I don’t remember. But I remember you always came around our house when I was growing up. Because of the age gap between my brother and me, you naturally looked more like his brother than I did then. 

    What were your first impressions of each other? 

    Tobi: I thought he was clingy. It makes sense to now because I understand he was a child and only had his brother and parents. But I was an only child forced to be independent super early, so I didn’t get why he wanted to follow Umar and me everywhere. He was like this pest we couldn’t get rid of. 

    Sadiq: I just thought you guys were so cool. My parents will deny it, but I was a mistake; they only wanted one child. They had me when my brother was almost done with secondary school, so everyone around me was older. I also didn’t like kids my age because they were boring. I wanted to be a grown-up, so I attached myself to you and my brother. 

    Tobi: My own that time was this small boy was cock-blocking us. We’d want to go out, and his mum would say, “Can you guys take Sadiq too? He wants to go.” I couldn’t stand him. 

    So what changed? 

    Tobi: Time. The older he got, the less annoying his presence was. By the time he was a teenager, I had started to think, “Okay, maybe this kid is cool.” 

    Sadiq: You think I’m cool? Thank God we’re recording this because I’ll save this quote and use it whenever you try to yab me, especially my fashion choices. 

    Tobi: Enjoy the compliment while it lasts. You’ll only get it once every five years moving forward. 

    When did you guys become close? 

    Sadiq: We’ve always been close, but we got even closer after my brother moved abroad with his family in 2020. 

    Tobi: 2020 was a challenging year for everyone. But for me, it was Covid, switching careers after years of being miserable, #EndSARS and then my best friend packed his bags and japa’ed. It was the worst year of my life. 

    Damn

    Tobi: As an only child, I was used to doing things on my own until I met Umar. We were roommates, and even though he forced a friendship on me, he quickly became the brother I never had. We’d study and party together, and even when we left school, we ensured we lived close together. 

    Nothing prepares you for what it’s like to say goodbye to someone who was a big part of your life. Umar mentioned wanting to leave Nigeria, but the protests were the tipping point. It’s ironic because it further strengthened my resolve to stay in Nigeria. I miss him, but then I had to quickly use Sadiq as a replacement. LOL 

    Sadiq: I was about to say this gist is about our friendship, not you and my brother. Na wa o. But yes, Umar leaving was a lot for everyone. But imagine someone successfully getting everything they need to go, and you’re like, “Oh, I feel sad or angry that you’re leaving”? I couldn’t really express the sense of abandonment I felt at the time with anyone until we hung out the weekend after he left. 

    Tobi: That was the night we connected on a deeper level. Or maybe it was just the edibles. Either way, a connection sha happened.

    What did you guys talk about? 

    Tobi: Maybe it was because of alcohol and edibles, but after some small talk, I found myself opening up about how angry I was about Umar leaving. Just like Sadiq, I felt abandoned, but I also felt guilty for even feeling that way. Like, what right did I have? 

    Sadiq: Exactly. I felt guilty AF. Talking to you about it and knowing you felt the same way made it okay for me to acknowledge my feelings and eventually move from them. 

    I wasn’t sure how I’d function as a whole with my brother so far away, but I felt a lot better after our conversation. It was like I’d just gotten a new big bro that I could disturb and embarrass regularly.

    Tobi: If only you knew I’d be the one embarrassing you. LOL. 

    That conversation changed the way I looked at him. I’d always seen Sadiq as my best friend’s baby bro, but I saw him as a man in that moment. It wasn’t just an older and younger dynamic anymore. I felt we could be genuine friends. 

    Aww. How did you guys navigate this new friendship? 

    Tobi: It was weird at first, especially for me. I felt like I was cheating on Umar when we hung out without him. Plus, people, especially my partner found it odd that I always hung out with someone old young to be my son. She was a major opposition to our friendship, but it’s been two years now and she’s gotten used to him.  

    We have other friends, so it’s not like we desperately sought a connection. But I also wanted to put in the effort to have a relationship with him, separate from his brother. It helps that we both have a lot in common. No one loves to turn up more than both of us. 

    Sadiq: Please, don’t lie. We’re not the same. How is this man 40, and I, the guy in his 20s, that has to remind him that we have a home every time we go out? I love a good night out, but Tobi loves a good night into day outing. LOL 

    Tobi: What can I say? I love a good time. But outside of going out, we spend a lot of time talking too. From relationships to work, we always try to talk things out. I mean, I’m the reason his relationship has lasted this long. My golden advice has always been, “Don’t argue; just listen to her.” I better get a shoutout at your wedding. 

    Sadiq: Please, when did I mention marriage? Don’t set me up abeg. 

    Becoming friends with him has made it easier for me to be honest in our conversations. That whole big brother thing created boundaries. Like he said, I’m not the best at relationships, but Tobi has been in one since World War I, so he has a lot of experience and is never afraid to call me out on my bullshit. He looks out for me like an older brother, but he’s also non-judgemental like a friend. That’s the sweet spot. 

    Tobi: World War I, abi? Well done. 

    Sadiq is very stubborn, and I’m just like that too. But having him in my life has taught me to be patient. Both of us can’t be the assholes here, so we take turns. He also calls me out on some of my BS, like my drinking, which I’ve cut down on since we started hanging out. I’m learning from him that it’s possible to have fun and still remember the fun I had by the time I woke up the next day. 

    How does Umar feel about this friendship? 

    Tobi: He finds it funny since I was very anti-Sadiq when he was younger. But he’s glad we have each other. He’s always complaining about FOMO on our group chat. 

    What holds your friendship together? 

    Sadiq: Mutual respect. Tobi doesn’t treat me like a child, and that’s important to me. I’ve always felt like the “baby” for the longest time, so it’s great to have someone older who doesn’t reduce my opinions or experience to age. 

    Tobi: Eyah, Junior. My boy. For me, it’s honesty. I like that he doesn’t judge me or see me as someone who should know everything. There’s this perception that once you’re in your 30s, you need to have life figured out. But I’m 40 now, and I’m still figuring shit out. I like that our friendship gives me space to do that. He doesn’t look at me like an agbaya. 

    What’s something you’ve always wanted to tell the other person? 

    Sadiq: I was always jealous of your friendship with Umar because I thought you guys were cool. Now that I’m older and have my own relationship with you, I understand that I admired the loyalty you guys had. Thank you for sharing that loyalty with me. Thank you for stepping up when I needed someone in my life. I know you don’t like sappy stuff, but I love you plenty. 
    Tobi: Did you just turn me into that “I’m not a stepfather; I’m the father that stepped up” meme? Jesus. You already know I love you. One thing I don’t say a lot is how proud I am of you. I was doing a lot more when I was your age, yes. But you’re doing well right now, and watching you kill it in your career, relationship, and life gives me so much joy.

    Do you have an interesting bro story you’d like to share? Fill this form and we’ll get back to you.

  • The Best Songs of 2023 (So Far), Ranked By Their Chances of Surviving Till Detty December

    Can you believe we’re already four months into 2023? It feels like just a few weeks ago, we were making New Year resolutions and plans to conquer 2023, and now, we have eight months left. 

    We’ve had so many hits between January and April, but these seven are some of the best. But will they still bang by the time IJGBs come back for Detty December? We have the answers. 

    Yoga — Asake 

    Asake’s Mr Money with the Vibes was probably the biggest album of 2022. From Terminator to Joha, Asake’s voice was everywhere in December. After dropping songs every two weeks, Asake took some time off before dropping Yoga in 2023. The song showed us a zen Asake, who’s taking time away from the party scene to wear white and meditate by the beach (God, when?). It was the perfect song to start the year with and a testament to the artiste’s versatility. 

    Chances of surviving till December: I highly doubt it. Yoga is too calm for the gragra of Detty December. The holidays are about hyper energy, so imagine people screaming, “Palazzo, jiggy, burger..” instead of chanting, “Yoga yoga”.   

    GWAGWALADA — BNXN, Kizz Daniel and Seyi Vibez

    BNXN’s decision to make a song about Gwagwalada in Abuja is almost as random as the two artistes he chose to feature, yet somehow it all works perfectly. The Sarz-produced beat is BNXN’s to devour, and he eats it up like the shawarma he mentions in the song. Kizz Daniel and Seyi Vibez also make memorable appearances here. 

    Chances of surviving till December: Even though Finesse came out a year ago in 2022, there’s a higher chance of that song soundtracking Detty December parties as opposed to Gwagwalada.  

    Stamina — Tiwa Savage, Young Jonn and Ayra Starr 

    Tiwa Savage, Young Jonn and Ayra Starr’s Stamina is the consent anthem we didn’t know we needed until it was released. Produced by frequent Asake collaborator, MagicSticks, the song finds Ayra offering to do sexy kung fu with her lover, while Tiwa and Young Jonn engage in an intense back and forth that Chioma explains better in her SYDHT recap of the video. 

    Chances of surviving till December: While Stamina is a major jam, there’s a high chance it’ll sound like a throwback song when it comes up in the club when Detty December rolls around. 

    Who’s Your Guy? — Spyro and Tiwa Savage 

    With all the shoutouts on Who’s Your Guy?, the Spyro and Tiwa Savage hit could easily be an owambe song. Giving us a much needed break from songs about bumbum, hustling and popping champagne, Who’s Your Guy? is a beautiful song that talks about the importance of friendship and checking in on your tribe. Knowing all the craziness happening around the world, we all need to be more invested in each other, now, more than ever. 

    Chances of surviving till December: Be prepared to hear this song every time someone orders Azul for their table in December, and also on every IJGB’s TikTok or Reel when they connect with the friends they left behind in Nigeria. 

    RECOMMENDED: ​​Drill Music Is Hot Right Now and These Are the 8 Nigerians You Should Listen To 

    Sability — Ayra Starr

    No other artist captures the defiant “I’m a bad bitch” Gen Z energy like Ayra Starr. Sability, her Awilo Longomba-inspired first single of 2023 tows the same lane as Bloody Samaritan and Rush, with Ayra reminding everyone that she’s that girl; the original sabi girl. 

    Chances of surviving till December: This is a jam for baddies, and being a baddie isn’t a seasonal job; it’s a year-round lifestyle. There’s a high chance you’ll hear Sability on the insta stories of those IJGB girls who live and breathe NollyBabe’s fashion. 

    UNAVAILABLE — Davido and Musa Keys 

    Davido is a master hitmaker and that’s on Mary and her little lamb. Despite the tragic events of last year, Davido somehow manages to find and share joy through his album, Timeless, especially on the Musa Keys-assisted amapiano hit, UNAVAILABLE. Our ever-so-generous king also made sure the TikTok dance challenge for the song was easy, smooth and inclusive because not all of us have Gen Z legwork energy. I stan. 

    Chances of surviving till December: This is the anthem most offices will hear as soon as they close for the year. Everyone on holiday for Detty December will probably post their UNAVAILABLE video on social media for their co-workers and haters. How else will your boss know not to send you emails in December? 

    Holiday — Rema

    Nothing unites Nigerians more than a grass-to-grace story, and boy, did my inner spirit feel it when Rema sang, “I will never forget the time wey bad belle dem cast us away. Fast forward to today, every day na holiday.” 

    Even though 2022’s Calm Down has refused to allow Holiday get the love it deserves, this song is further evidence that proves yet again that Rema hasn’t missed since 2019. 

    Chances of surviving till December: The song is literally called Holiday, and you think it won’t bang during the biggest holiday of the year? Chelsea, come on now. This is the ultimate Detty December banger. 

    ALSO READ: The Ultimate 30+ Guide to Understanding Nigerian Pop Culture

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  • The Ultimate 30+ Guide to Understanding Nigerian Pop Culture

    Keeping up with Nigerian pop culture is hard, no matter how old you are. But for the 30+ community trying to blend in with the youngins, all the new slang, artistes, and concepts can be stressful to navigate. 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    If you’re 30+ and ready to finesse kids on Blue Ivy’s internet (Blue Ivy is Beyonce’s daughter, by the way), this article is for you. 

    Fireboy and Joeboy are two different boys 

    Source: Zikoko

    These two blew up the same year, have dreadlocks and similar names, so I can’t blame you for the confusion. Why didn’t one of them change the “Boy” in their name to “Man”? 

    Fireboy, Source: Instagram/FireboyDML

    This is Fireboy (DML, if you’re feeling extra spicy), and he’s responsible for hits like Jealous, Champion and Bandana with Asake. 

    Joeboy, Source: Okay Africa

    Meanwhile, Joeboy is responsible for Nobody with Deejay Neptunes and Mr Eazi, Baby and Sip (Alcohol). 

    Music videos don’t always have to match their songs

    Remember when P-Square sang Busy Body, a club song, in an actual club? 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqdiULiEJG8

    Or the time Styl Plus sang about a buka and created an animated one because the real Iya Basira was still looking for them? 

    Things have changed for the new generation because music videos these days rarely match the song they’ve been shot for. A forest, masquerades and floral canoes don’t exactly come to mind when you hear a song called Party No Dey Stop. But here we are. 

    Let’s explain what it means to be a baddie, simp or toxic

    Keeping up with internet lingo is so hard we had to create a Twitter dictionary for the masses. But since we didn’t cover “Baddie”, “Simp” or “Toxic”, I’m here to give a quick extramural class. 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Baddie is derived from “Bad bitch”. It describes anyone whose fashion, looks, and energy is always on point. Like the legendary philosopher Ice Spice once said, “She a baddie, she know she a ten”. But while baddie is mostly used for women, it’s totally gender-neutral. Men can be baddies too. Ask Drake. 

    Source: Instagram/ChampagnePapi

    You know when you like someone and all rational thoughts exit your brain and you start acting like a mumu? Yes, that’s what it means to be a simp. Simp is a noun and a verb (I stan a multipurpose queen), so you could be a simp or be caught simping over someone who probably saved your number as “Don’t answer, Ikeja.” 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Finally, toxic on the internet and in real life aren’t that different. People could either be toxic or have toxic energy, meaning they have bad vibes through and through. These people are usually on the wrong side of every conversation or wicked for no good reason. Avoid toxic people like Nigerian politicians avoid EFCC. 

    Alté isn’t just a genre of music, it’s a lifestyle 

    Source: Mikey Oshai

    I know the last time you attended an alté class in 2018, they told you it was a new genre of music coined from the word “Alternative”. Well, things have changed because alté is pretty much a lifestyle now. From how people dress (very individualistic and Y2K-inspired) to how they pose for pictures. You could literally look at someone and say, “This person is very alté”, and it doesn’t always mean they’re making alté music. 

    These are the correct lyrics to that “Jonah Paran Ran” song 

    This tweet lives rent-free in my head, and honestly, I can’t blame the person — Nigerian lyrics are getting more complicated by the day. Do you know how many words Rema has made up between 2019 and 2023? 

    Anyway, the song’s title is Ijo (Laba Laba), and it’s by Mavin Records singer, Crayon. 

    Happy to be of service.

    RECOMMENDED: 30+ Geng and the 6 Things They Wish They Did in Their 20s

    Why is every song on TikTok five times faster than the actual song? 

    @queen.olu

    i eat his verse for breakfast, lunch and dinner #fyp #nigeriantiktok #africantiktok #african #nigerian #rema

    ♬ Soweto – Sped Up – Victony & Rema & Tempoe

    You see the patience the older generation had when they listened to six-minute songs? This new TikTok generation doesn’t have that time. 

    Our songs are always around the two-minute mark, and even that’s too long, hence the creation of 30-second sped-up songs. Our attention span has reached an all-time low, and with millions of videos uploaded daily on TikTok, no one has time for songs at their original tempo. Keep it moving. 

    This is not a belt, it’s a skirt, and we have proof 

    Source: Zikoko

    I know what you’re thinking: How does this work as a skirt? I’ll leave this part to Ayra Starr because if there’s one thing sabi girl has taught us, it’s that length is a function of your mind. 

    These are the faces that’ll determine if a Nollywood movie will slap or not

    Source: Nolly Babes

    Seeing Genevieve Nnaji and Emeka Ike on a Nollywood poster back in the day meant one of two things: It’s either Genevieve was the bad campus girl Emeka was trying to tame or she was the girl Emeka was willing to fight Ernest Obi for. But one thing was certain, these faces meant the film would bang. 

    So who should you look out for now that all your fave old Nollywood actors have become directors, producers and influencers? Let me help you.

    Source: IMDB

    Tobi Bakre — Gangs of Lagos and Brotherhood 

    Source: Instagram/GenovevaUmeh

    Genovevah Umeh — Blood Sisters and Far From Home 

    Source: Instagram/BimboAdemoye

    Bimbo Ademoye — Anikulapo and Sugar Rush 

    Source: Tech Cabal

    Efa Iwara — This Lady Called Life and King of Boys: Return of the King

    Baggy jeans are back—in fact, we’re just copying and pasting looks from the 1990s and 2000s

    Source: RollingstoneUK

    I hope you didn’t throw all your Phat Farm and FUBU jeans away because trust me when I tell you they’re now hot cake on the fashion scene. The new generation of street-style lovers are simply adding a little razzle dazzle to the looks you grew up seeing in music videos on Channel O back in the day. Fashion is more or less a remix at this point with a new rap verse. 

    Vic O and Speed Darlington are not the same, please 

    I will not stand for anyone comparing or mistaking two legends for one another. Vic O walked so that Speed Darlington could run. He’s the rapper responsible for ending Drake and Meek Mill’s beef in 2018 with this banger.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7gwo6ktD7Y

    Meanwhile, Speed Darlington is more famous for his online videos that blur the line between skit and reality. He’s also a rapper in his spare time. 

    QUIZ: How 30+ Are You?

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  • Ranking Nollywood Bridgerton Looks from “God, Abeg” to “I Burn For You”

    I’m not the biggest fan of fashion reviews, but since Nollywood has refused to let me rest, I, too, will not let them rest. 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    This week, I’m breaking my fashion silence to review looks from the 2023 screening of Netflix Bridgerton prequel, Queen Charlotte in South Africa. The theme was “Regent Era” just like the show, and you know Nollywood actors live for themed premieres.

    Let’s get into this ranking. 

    Erica Nweledim 

    Source: Instagram/EricaNweledim

    I love me some Star Girl Erica, but no amount of love will make me stand for this look. What is going on with the dyed baby chicken feathers? Don’t even get me started on that helmet on my girl’s head. Is this the new Gokada uniform? Do I need to call my estate gate to let in delivery girl Erica? Miss Mamas probably heard there was a Bridgerton character called Lady Featherington and decided to run with it. 

    Bimbo Ademoye 

    Source: Instagram/BimboAdemoye

    “My skirt of many colours that my father made for me,” or whatever Dolly Parton sang. No, but seriously I don’t have a problem with the style of this dress or the layering. My problem is how cheap the fabric looks. As someone who’s worn a satin suit to dance to Diana Ross’ He Lives in Me in primary school, this fabric is giving me PTSD. The top half looks great, but the bottom half is a wonderment. 

    Nancy Isime

    Source: Instagram/NancyIsimeOfficial

    Nancy Isime saw what Tems did at the Oscars and said, “Hold my cup”. This dress is stunning on its own and works perfectly with the regency theme of the event. But once again, why are Nigerian stars pulling up with different structures on their head? Everything else looks stunning, but this satellite dish she has on her head keeps throwing me off. 

    Sharon Ooja 

    Source: Instagram/SharonOoja 

    Sharon Ooja is a fashion girl. People can debate everything else about her, but when it comes to looks, Sharon never misses. That is, until now. I’m obsessed with this dress and the corset transition that reminds me of Zendaya’s look from the 2019 Emmys:

    Source: Fashion Bomb Daily

    But just like my other fashion girl, Zendaya, Sharon should’ve kept her accessories to a minimum. Girl, the dress is already a statement on its own, why do you have the big hair? The fascinator? And those “I will worship the Lord for he is worthy” choreography gloves? This look is a classic case of doing too much, yet doing absolutely nothing at all. 

    RECOMMENDED: We Replaced the Bridgerton Season Two Cast With Nigerian Actors

    Kunle Remi 

    Source: Instagram/KunleRemiOfficial

    Can we give Kunle Remi a round of applause for redeeming Nollywood men, especially after that condom look Deyemi pulled off at the Domitilla red carpet? 

    Source: Twitter

    I really hope this redemption for Nollywood leading men lasts. But then again, I remember this magazine cover from 2021, and I know it’s only a matter of time before one of them strikes again. 

    Source: ThisDay Style

    Lily Afe 

    Source: Instagram/LilyAfe

    Lily Afe’s dress is a classic example of how styling can elevate what could’ve very easily looked like a boring aso-ebi dress. The hair, earrings and sceptre are the only accessories here, and they do their best to compliment, not overpower the dress. This look isn’t the most memorable on the carpet, but it’s stunning enough to get a second glance and make a statement. 

    Mercy Eke 

    Source: Instagram/Official_MercyEke 

    Look at this dress and tell me Mercy Eke doesn’t look like a Disney princess who’s broken free from the clutches of her evil stepmother, and is ready to use her prince’s money to order an entire collection from Monsieur Fashion De La Nova? She’s giving regency, but with an edge. The pulled back hair and minimal accessories allows focus on her dress and her lantern since there’s no power in South Africa. Love it. 

    Priscy Ojo

    Source: Instagram/Its.Priscy

    I love it when a new fashion girl enters the scene and snatches everyone’s wigs, frontals included. Priscy Ojo ate down. This look licked the plate and not one grain of Egusi could be found. The dress, ate. The hair, ate. The jewellery, ate. And finally, someone wore gloves that actually slayed. Priscy Ojo, the woman that you are. It might be too soon to pull out the Wendy gif, but who cares? I’m sold on Project Priscy.

    Source: Giphy

    ALSO READ: Nollywood Needs to Answer for These Criminal Fashion Moments

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  • Lagos State Vs. “Gangs of Lagos”: Why Nollywood Shouldn’t Be Silenced 

    It’s hard to scroll through the internet these days without seeing something about Gangs of Lagos. From clips of Chioma Akpotha’s viral monologue to screenshots of the bloody fight sequences, everyone is gushing about Jade Osiberu’s ambitious action project. Everyone, that is, except the Nigerian government. 

    Source: Prime Video Naija

    Lagos State Vs. Gangs of Lagos 

    Barely a week after the Prime Video original premiered, the Lagos State government put out a statement accusing Gangs of Lagos of being “derogatory to our culture” and an attempt to “desecrate the revered heritage of the people of Lagos”. 

    Source: Prime Video Naija

    The Lagos State government that famously unlooked and aired everyone who was attacked during the February 25 and March 18th elections of 2023 had time to make a statement dragging a Nollywood film? 

    Not the first time 

    Source: Greoh Studios

    This isn’t the first time the Nigerian government has dragged a Nollywood film. Ironically, the last film to experience something like this was 2019’s Sugar Rush, which was also co-written and produced by Jade Osiberu. The film, which starred Adesua Etomi-Wellington, Bisola Aiyeola and Bimbo Ademoye as sisters who must deal with the numerous owners of the $800,000 they stole, was removed from Nigerian cinemas by the National Film and Video Censors Board (NFVCB) because it portrayed the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) in a “bad light”. 

    However, thanks to the #BringSugarRushBack social media campaign, the Censors Board caved, and the film returned to the cinema before making its way to Netflix. 

    Why is the Nigerian government so pressed and bothered by Nollywood all of a sudden? 

    One word: “accountability”. 

    For the longest time, Nollywood has focused on basic Nigerian issues: looking for love, hustle culture, a sprinkle of backstabbing and juju here and there. But now, the focus is turning towards the corridors of power and how the people and their deals affect the average Nigerian. 

    Source: Kemi Adetiba

    Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys is a typical example of a story that shifted the veil between Nigerians and politics through film. In the first act, we get to see how politicians use mob leaders to do their dirty work then frown when they ask for a crumb of power for themselves, especially when the said leader is a woman like Eniola Salami. 

    RECOMMENDED: Kemi Adetiba’s King Of Boys Is A Modern Classic, Here are 7 Reasons Why

    King of Boy: The Return of the King delved even deeper into the drama behind the scenes of an election. The bodies, the kingmakers, the role religion plays and the family’s hoarding power for themselves; Kemi Adetiba went there. As realistic as the series was, the Nigerian government seemed unmoved. 

    To start off 2023, Netflix released Shanty Town, a limited series starring Ini Edo, Chidi Mokeme and Nse Ikpe-Etim. Shanty Town focused on a group of women navigating sex and organ trafficking, violence and intimidation in a fictional shanty town in Lagos. 

    Source: Netflix

    While audiences praised Chidi Mokeme’s acting and debated Peter Okoye’s Femi Fernandez’s Igbo accent, we noticed slight similarities between the show’s antagonist, played by Richard Mofe Damijo, and a popular Nigerian presidential candidate. 

    Source: Twitter

    Tell me you can see it too. 

    While the similarities between Shanty Town‘s antagonist and this political figure might be limited to their filas (Yoruba hats), Gangs of Lagos strikes an even deeper nerve with a political character hellbent on ruling Lagos state. The story is fictional, but the audience has done the math and found “x”. 

    RECOMMENDED: 20 Crazy Questions Everyone Who’s Seen “Shanty Town” is Asking

    Nollywood isn’t the first to tackle politics, and it won’t be the last

    Like new Nollywood, Hollywood AKA the gold standard of filmmaking, hasn’t shied away from holding its government and political structures accountable over the years. 

    Martin Scorcesse’s 2006 film, The Departed, unearthed corruption within the American police force and ended up with a Best Picture Oscar at the 2007 Academy Awards. Similarly, Aaron Sorkin’s 2020 film, The Trial of the Chicago 7, was a masterclass in dragging the American police force, judiciary and the FBI for their role in the unfair 1969 trial of seven defendants charged with conspiracy against the government. Most recently, 2021’s Judas and the Black Messiah, directed by Shaka King, showed how the FBI murdered African-American activist, Fred Hampton, in his sleep. 

    These Hollywood films premiered, showed at cinemas and walked away with awards despite flipping a middle finger at the American government. Regardless of their exaggerated storylines, they offered nuanced insight into political issues that affect people, making them relevant works of art. So why must Nollywood face a different battle? 

    We need films like Gangs of Lagos 

    Whether or not we liked the plot, films like Gangs of Lagos are important. 

    Source: Prime Video Naija

    Although it’s hard to believe people in Isale Eko fight like they’re part of Vin Diesel’s Fast and Furious crew, there’s no denying the existence of countless Obalolas, Gifts and Ifys — people who don’t get to live for themselves. They fight other people’s political battles, sometimes with no idea how their actions will impact their communities in the long run. These are the people we see snatching ballot boxes during elections. 

    Films like Gangs of Lagos humanise Nigerians who live on the margin, reminding us of the puppeteers who create unfavourable conditions for Nigerians and then take advantage of the victims. If we allow the Nigerian politicians and government to silence creatives who hold up a mirror to their actions, we may never hold them accountable for their actions in the future. 

    ALSO READ: Chike on the Hardest Scene He Had to Shoot in “Gangs of Lagos”

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  • Stan Culture in Nigeria: How Far Would You Go for Your Fave?

    It’s one thing to be a fan of a musician, but being a stan? That’s another thing entirely. Stans are fans who are willing to actually throw hands because of their faves. 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    With stan culture taking over the +234 internet (and real-life) thanks to Wizkid FC, Savage Soldiers, Outsiders, 30 BG and Rebel Gang, we decided to talk to some stans about the most outrageous things they’ve done for their faves. 

    “My family doesn’t know I have a Wizkid tattoo” 

    – Kayinsola*, 23
    Source: Zikoko Memes

    I come from a very religious family that doesn’t even allow me or my sisters to have more than one piercing. But during Detty December in 2022, I randomly got a tattoo of Wizkid’s full name, “Ayodeji Balogun”, on my thigh. I don’t wear short skirts or shorts at home, so my parents haven’t seen it yet. I could lie that it’s my boyfriend’s name. At least, maybe they’d think I’m less of a nutjob if the person knows I exist. But they’d also ask to see this boyfriend, and I don’t have one. 

    I’ve been a Wizkid fan since my first year of secondary school when he dropped Holla At Your Boy. He’s the greatest Nigerian musician of all time. I don’t regret my tattoo, but I wish I’d gotten it after I japa. I know my parents will unalive me if they see it. 

    “I used ₦‎1.6m to cover my favourite rapper’s bill in the club” 

    – Buchi*, 31
    Source: Zikoko Memes

    For someone who isn’t rich, tell me why I cleared the table of one of my favourite musicians in the club. I’m a huge fan of Nigerian rap music from back in the day. I ran into one of my favourite rappers at the club in Enugu one night and was starstruck. He’d come into town to perform at a wedding, so he pulled up with his entourage to chill after. That’s how I told the club owner, my friend, to tell him not to worry, “Bills on me”. 

    By the time the bill came, omo, I was looking at about ₦1.6m. He came into an Enugu club with Lagos energy. I’ve never paid that type of money for anything. Even for my brother’s wedding, I only contributed ₦1m. Never again. 

    “I’m only on social media as a stan account” 

    – David*, 29
    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Tiwa Savage is my favourite musician and the only reason I have social media accounts. I don’t have a social media presence besides the LinkedIn and Facebook accounts I don’t even have access to anymore. But I run a stan account to share Tiwa’s articles, new songs, interviews, etc. Olorun Mi saved my life when I lost my brother, so since then, I’ve been a dedicated Savage Soldier. Everyone has hits, but no one serves vocals like my girl, and for that, I’ll drag anyone who says rubbish on Twitter. 

    RECOMMENDED: These 10 Tiwa Savage Songs Are Also Gospel Songs, Let’s Explain

    “Most of my salary goes to K-Pop merch, and I’m okay with it” 

    – Hassana*, 25
    Source: Zikoko Memes

    There’s a massive K-Pop community here in Nigeria, and I’m very active in it. I discovered K-pop through a co-worker in 2019 and haven’t looked back since. I stream their albums and performances, but the most outrageous thing I do is buy and ship merch, especially from BLACKPINK. Dollar rates rising or not, I’ll always support my girls.

    “I lied at work to go look for Burna Boy at Eko Hotel” 

    – Sheryl*, 30
    Source: Zikoko Memes

    I was obsessed with Burna Boy during my NYSC. I mean, I still love my boo now, but back then, I was actually obsessed. One day in 2014, I saw him post on his Instagram stories, and I recognised the pool in his background as the one at Eko Hotels. I wasn’t even sure if the post was recent, but see, I told my office HR my mother had collapsed and I needed to rush home. I hopped on a bus and ran to Eko Hotel. I just sat in the lobby for the rest of the day, hoping I’d run into him. 

    I remember watching that Korty video and laughing because it felt like a personal drag. 

    “I secured my Beyoncé Renaissance tickets before getting my visa” 

    -Jesse*, 30 
    Source: Zikoko Memes

    My plans in life come second to Beyoncé’s plans for me, and that’s on period. As soon as she dropped the Renaissance tickets, I was in a queue to buy mine online for the UK show — since she’s not coming to Nigeria. It wasn’t until I’d paid for my ticket that I realised I hadn’t renewed my visa. I’ve applied and everything, but what if I don’t get it? I’m focusing on positive thoughts for now. 

    “I stopped talking to a girl because she said Wizkid was overrated” 

    – Nti*, 28
    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Imagine trying to get to know someone and they diss your favourite artiste? That’s what happened with a girl I was toasting two years ago. We met at a house party in Lagos, and I liked her vibe. Wizkid’s Come Closer came on shuffle as I was driving her for one of our hangouts, and unprovoked, this babe started insulting Wiz. 

    Granted, that song is somehow, but to call him overrated and a Wande Coal dupe? That was too much, so I ghosted her after that day. I didn’t need that negative energy around me. 

    ALSO READ: We Ranked the Best Wizkid Songs of the Decade

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  • All the Reasons Why Chioma Akpotha Is a Nollywood Icon

    It’s hard to see Jade Osiberu’s Gangs of Lagos and not gush about how incredible Chioma Akpotha was in it. 

    In an ensemble cast that combined some of the best from new and old Nollywood, Chioma’s performance was one of the film’s highlights, and the rest of the internet agrees.

    While Gangs of Lagos may have started a conversation about how great Chioma is, I’m here to remind everyone that she’s always been an icon. 

    Source: Giphy

    Chioma was in the first and second highest-grossing Nollywood films of all time 

    Source: Omo Ghetto, SceneOne Productions

    Chioma is one of the highest-grossing Nollywood actresses, with over five films on the top-grossing films of all-time list. While being on the list is a feat in itself, she’s taken it a step further by being in both the first and second highest-grossing films of all time: Battle on Buka Street and Omo Ghetto. 

    There are levels to this Nollywood thing, and Chioma is at the top after over 20 years in the game. 

    Who do we have to beg to join Chioma’s iconic friendship group? 

    Source: KemiFilani.com
    Source: Instagram/UcheJombo

    Imagine being in the same squad as Rita Dominic, Omoni Oboli, Kate Henshaw, Uche Jumbo, Ini Edo and Ufuoma McDermott? These Nollywood baddies are always making fun of each other, going out for dinners and living their best lives together. I’m sorry, but Taylor Swift’s girl squad of 2014 has nothing on Chioma’s elite Nollywood posse. 

    No one plays the naive good girl like Chioma 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g30XWcGEvng

    Chioma Akpotha’s Sister Rose character from The Handkerchief is why I’d rather sweat like a goat than let anyone use their handkerchief to clean my face. What if they use juju on me? 

    Source: Sins of the Flesh, YouTube

    Her characters in The Apple and Sins of the Flesh are also cautionary tales that fornication is bad and we should all superglue our legs until marriage. No one carried the “good girl who ends up in a bad situation” trope like Chioma did back in the day. 

    But she still has range for days 

    Source: Nneka the Pretty Serpent, Zikoko Memes

    While Chioma might be known for her good girl roles, the actress has incredible range and can be a badass anytime she wants to. She was Bianca the diva actress in Traumatized; area queen, Chummy Choko, in Omo Ghetto; and a villain in the remake of Nneka the Pretty Serpent. 

    She’s also not afraid to tell the real-life Nigerian government to soro soke 

    Source: ReportMinds.com

    2020 was an insane year for Nigerians, and just like most of us, Chioma was on the streets, demanding justice and more from the Nigerian government during the #EndSARS protests. At a time when it would’ve been easy to maintain silence and ignore all the chaos, the actress was an active part of the movement. Love to see it.

    RECOMMENDED: Everything You Need to Know About Jade Osiberu’s “Gangs of Lagos”

    Looking for an actress who serves looks? Holla at Chioma 

    Source: Emmanuel Oyeleke

    Chelsea, come on now. Every look is a hit, back-to-back. 

    Source: Tonie Grapher 
    Source: Emmanuel Oyeleke

    We stan an actress who doesn’t take herself too seriously 

    @

    ♬ –

    I dare you to keep a straight face while scrolling through Chioma’s TikTok page. From collaborations with skit makers to random rants and commentaries, Chioma isn’t afraid to go there when it comes to making her fans laugh. We need a good writer to cook up an epic comedic role for her to sink her teeth into. Nollywood, make this happen, please. 

    Chioma and patriotism are like five and six 

    Source: Instagram/ChiomaAkpotha

    Remember when we called out some of our fave musicians for failing to show up during the elections? Chioma wasn’t on that list, and for good reason. The actress was a major part of the 2023 elections, reporting live from her polling unit, encouraging people to vote, and even going as far as racking election disruptors who tried to steal ballot boxes at her polling unit. 

    Chioma was part of this iconic Nollywood choreography from back in the day 

    P-Square is shaking. Kaffy is vibrating. This iconic scene featuring her with Kate Henshaw, Dakore Akande, Ini Edo, Jim Iyke, Mike Ezuruonye, Monalisa Chinda and Uche Jombo, dancing in all white at the end of Games Men Play lives rent-free in my head. We need a reunion, ASAP. 

    Unsurprisingly, she wears many hats

    Source: On Bended Knees, IrokoTV

    Chioma is also a producer and singer. It’s giving talented multi-hyphenate, and I’m here for it.

    Once again, Gangs of Lagos 

    Source: Gangs of Lagos, Prime Video

    I hope Chioma’s mouth is doing okay after eating up all her scenes in Gangs of Lagos? Because I’ve checked, and nary a crumb is in sight. 

    ALSO READ: Chike on the Hardest Scene He Had to Shoot in “Gangs of Lagos”

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