1. Once you vomit, you’re pregnant.

Most accurate pregnancy test, never fails.

2. Once they’re in white, they’re an angel.

No questions asked, if he’s in white you do what he says.

3. If its a trending topic, there’s a movie about it.

I get all my gist from Nollywood.

4. Cowries are only used for juju.

Only witch-doctors have them.

5. Piano music is ALWAYS a bad sign.

Something bad is about to happen.

6. Your mother-in-law wants to kill you.

Trust me, she wants you dead.

7. Once you’re in school uniform, you can pass off as a child.

Doesn’t matter if you look like a father of 4.

8. Once you return from America, you’re a ‘bad boy’.

Even if you went for school, you’re sha a bad boy.